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Quest to Slay the Rabid Phantom Gnome, Wild adventures of gnome-dom |
May 26 2008, 09:53 PM
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#121
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Grumpy Non-Posting Guy Group: Lost Woods Posts: 2,429 Joined: 1-January 02 From: From: From: From: From: From: From: From: Member No.: 10 |
"That reminds me of my origin story," the axe said, since that was clearly the topic.
"Four months ago I was created in an off seas country. I don't know where. It's plastered on my hilt, but I can't very well see that now can I? I was bought a month later in a Sears in Denver. Three months later, I was used to kill an old yodeling man by his barely-twenty-something wife, who had married him for his money and so that she could be a greater yodeler than Samuel Jackson. For some reason this meant I could talk. Beats the hell out of me why. I didn't want to get implicated for murder, so I planted myself in the back of that one man before." And that was his story. Everything was coming together. It was all so convenient. |
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May 26 2008, 10:08 PM
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#122
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
"Well, that's an interesting story." said a voice. A very beautiful young brunette woman appeared
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May 26 2008, 10:17 PM
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#123
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The Jerk Group: Lost Woods Posts: 3,182 Joined: 13-September 04 Member No.: 18 Warn: (0%) |
"Zounds!" shouted Melvin. "Where did you come from?"
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May 26 2008, 10:17 PM
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#124
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Grumpy Non-Posting Guy Group: Lost Woods Posts: 2,429 Joined: 1-January 02 From: From: From: From: From: From: From: From: Member No.: 10 |
"It's actually rather boring," the axe replied. "I would fall asleep
telling it, but being an inanimate object I am incapable of feeling
exhaustion."
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May 26 2008, 10:42 PM
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#125
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
She giggled. "I love that fifties lingo!"
"heh, it's good to see ya, Sis." |
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May 26 2008, 10:47 PM
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#126
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The Jerk Group: Lost Woods Posts: 3,182 Joined: 13-September 04 Member No.: 18 Warn: (0%) |
"His sister?!" shouted Mervin as he start running around the room AND
up and down the walls. "After his grandfather framed him for blowing up
the planet, he made two alien sibling babies! That means, between the
two of them, there's a WHOLE alien. Now they don't have a reason not to
eat us. This is worse than the octoroks!"
This post has been edited by SteveT: May 26 2008, 10:48 PM |
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May 26 2008, 10:58 PM
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#127
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
"Care to explain what that's all about?"
"Yeah, that kid's a bit messed up in the noggin." |
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May 27 2008, 12:17 AM
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#128
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Grumpy Non-Posting Guy Group: Lost Woods Posts: 2,429 Joined: 1-January 02 From: From: From: From: From: From: From: From: Member No.: 10 |
The axe stared at the woman, who he couldn't understand at all. Then he
suddenly remembered his community college course in foreign languages.
He knew some phrases in bluenese...
"Salutations lady of relation to man who holds me with hand of sweat. Name of me is Hoo'ax'dyuu. How are being the fishes in your blouse?" the axe asked, though in the end not saying what he meant. His bluenese was a bit rusty. |
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May 27 2008, 12:32 AM
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#129
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
"......okaaaay.... Is there a reason you spoke like that?"
"He thinks your text color is a different language." "Ahh, so he's an idiot." |
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May 27 2008, 01:19 AM
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#130
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Grumpy Non-Posting Guy Group: Lost Woods Posts: 2,429 Joined: 1-January 02 From: From: From: From: From: From: From: From: Member No.: 10 |
"I didn't catch that," the axe replied. "Could you translate?"
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May 27 2008, 01:47 AM
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#131
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
"Yep, an idiot." He then sighed. "Look, the blue is to differentiate
between her words and mine. She's not speaking a different language or
any kind of dialect or slang variation."
"Yeah, so listen up or get outta here." |
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May 27 2008, 08:29 AM
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#132
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The Jerk Group: Lost Woods Posts: 3,182 Joined: 13-September 04 Member No.: 18 Warn: (0%) |
"I can speak in Bluenese and Old Yellow simultaneously" said Lord Utility.
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May 27 2008, 02:19 PM
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#133
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
"Yeah. Even though nobody's language ever changes."
"Well, this is fun and all, but would someone please explain to me what's going on?" |
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May 27 2008, 02:38 PM
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#134
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Grumpy Non-Posting Guy Group: Lost Woods Posts: 2,429 Joined: 1-January 02 From: From: From: From: From: From: From: From: Member No.: 10 |
The axe smiled serenely with his nonexistant lips at the young bluenese woman. "No maam. I am not a rhinoceros. But I appreciate the gesture."
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May 27 2008, 02:41 PM
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#135
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
".....did anything even get to you? I'm not speaking English, just like you are."
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May 27 2008, 02:47 PM
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#136
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The Fallen Group: Admin Posts: 10,016 Joined: 13-February 20 From: WA Member No.: 13 |
From deep within the Forest Temple, a malevolent and diminutive spirit stirred...
"I hear that accursed language! The foreigners from the blue nation have returned. The ancient war between the gnomes and the smurfs must continue. All hail the gnomes of the Red Travelosity Empire!" |
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May 27 2008, 03:13 PM
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#137
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
[...............why is everybody torturing me today....? *sighs*]
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May 27 2008, 04:14 PM
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#138
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The Jerk Group: Lost Woods Posts: 3,182 Joined: 13-September 04 Member No.: 18 Warn: (0%) |
Just then, some monsters came through the window or something. Or maybe
it was a ham sandwich. I'm not sure on the details because of the
language barrier.
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May 27 2008, 04:16 PM
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#139
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
[WHAT LANGUAGE BARRIER!?! >_<]
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May 27 2008, 04:20 PM
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#140
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The Fallen Group: Admin Posts: 10,016 Joined: 13-February 20 From: WA Member No.: 13 |
Five masked lawn gnomes hurled themselves through the stained glass
windows. They pointed their sharp red hats at the intruders and howled,
"Death to the smurf nation and their allies!"
They then propelled themselves forward with rockets strapped to their feet. Like little gnome missiles. |
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May 27 2008, 05:06 PM
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#141
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The Jerk Group: Lost Woods Posts: 3,182 Joined: 13-September 04 Member No.: 18 Warn: (0%) |
"Oh no!" shouted Melvin. When his mouth finally stopped moving, he gritted his teeth.
"Cymbalquil, I choose you!" he shouted as he threw a Chinese take-out box at the nearest gnome. The box flopped open, and a monkey carrying a pair of cymbals fell out. "Use your cymbal attack!" Cymbalquil began making a very rhythmic noise in the general direction of the gnomes. |
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May 27 2008, 05:11 PM
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#142
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Defier of the laws of physics Group: Lost Woods Posts: 4,590 Joined: 24-May 05 From: Wherever it is needed for me to be Member No.: 950 |
[Well, it's been gut-wrenchingly fun. But I think it's time for me to say "F*** this" and never look into this thread again]
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May 27 2008, 06:34 PM
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#143
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Grumpy Non-Posting Guy Group: Lost Woods Posts: 2,429 Joined: 1-January 02 From: From: From: From: From: From: From: From: Member No.: 10 |
As the man who had held the axe for so long disappeared, Hoo'ax'dyuu
fell to the ground with a heart-wrenching pound. As chaos unfolded all
around, the axe was forgotten... forever.
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May 27 2008, 07:19 PM
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#144
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MK Wii Tournament Host Group: Lost Woods Posts: 5,004 Joined: 17-August 06 From: Wouldn't you like to know. >:D Member No.: 1,864 |
(Spoil-sport. )
Not really wanted to fight a bunch of gnomes right now, Shadow just kicked up Hoo'ax'dyuu with his foot, grabbed hsi handle and threw him at one of the incoming. |
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May 27 2008, 07:30 PM
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#145
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The Fallen Group: Admin Posts: 10,016 Joined: 13-February 20 From: WA Member No.: 13 |
One of the gnomes fell to the ground dead after the talking axe slammed
into it. The other gnomes froze and began to wail. "Nooo! Jimmy!!"
"You'll pay for this!" Another shouted. "See! With my dark magic I've already made the two blue-talkers disappear! Mwahaha... MWAHAHAHA!" The apparent leader of the gnomes then performed a complex series of would-be martial arts moves. "We'll show them who's boss!" "Right!" The four remaining gnomes flipped into the air and performed a team based missile attack on the monkey. And the pokemon cymbal thing too. |
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May 27 2008, 08:27 PM
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#146
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The Jerk Group: Lost Woods Posts: 3,182 Joined: 13-September 04 Member No.: 18 Warn: (0%) |
Cymbalquil was stomped to death.
"Cymbalquil! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mervin flew into a rage and bit one of the gnomes. |
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May 27 2008, 09:51 PM
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#147
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Alpha Trion Group: Lost Woods Posts: 8,138 Joined: 16-September 04 From: Gloucester Member No.: 147 |
Suddenly,
a rumble of thunder rent the air. Showsni drew back the curtains to see
outside. It was too dark to see much, but on opening the windows it
became clear that it was raining. He closed the curtains, and sat back
down at the keyboard.
/ooc "So, what just happened?" He hadn't really been paying attention, and now it seemed that his lack of heedfulness could cost him dearly. "Hey, four pokémon on one's not fair!" |
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May 28 2008, 12:08 AM
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#148
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Grumpy Non-Posting Guy Group: Lost Woods Posts: 2,429 Joined: 1-January 02 From: From: From: From: From: From: From: From: Member No.: 10 |
Jimmy the Gnome suddenly stood up with the axe still in his back. He
pumped his fist and yelled, "Hoo HA! Finally a new body to control!"
He then started lurching towards the other gnomes while a snail outran him. |
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May 28 2008, 07:36 PM
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#149
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MK Wii Tournament Host Group: Lost Woods Posts: 5,004 Joined: 17-August 06 From: Wouldn't you like to know. >:D Member No.: 1,864 |
Shadow looked at the axe in boredom as he lumbered towards the other
gnomes. He started to think of a way for this axe to get around
normally, since it would save everyone a big headache. "Perhaps... his
problem is that he drives himself in so deep that his victims are so
near death that they can't move worth squat. He needs a strong body...
but what would be strong enough to take the full load of that axe in
their back? Hm..."
"DEATH FROM ABOVE!" shouted one of the gnomes; Shadow looked up in alarm to see that he was the next target of their combo attack. He jumped and rolled to the side, letting them take a chunk out of the stone ground instead; no wonder they killed the Pokémon in a single hit. Shadow let out a frustrated groan and drew his sword, made of black metal but stained with so much unwashed blood that you'd mistake it for a crimson blade. "You'll have liked it better when I wasn't thinking about decapitating you." |
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Jun 5 2008, 02:08 AM
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#150
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Recently been to Disneyland Group: Lost Woods Posts: 1,484 Joined: 8-September 06 From: The Trifort. Or, if you want my real location, that would be Utah. Member No.: 1,921 |
Mark, having gone on a week-long trip to somewhere-elseland during yet
another plot-stagnating discussion--On which his good friend Stephen
joined his adventure--returned to find everyone apparently dead of
boredom!
"Why?!?" Mark cried to the heavens, falling to his knees. "Why do the beautiful always die so young??" "Um, I hate to break it to you, Mark," Stephen replied, looking around. "But I don't see anyone here who fits that description. And stop being so melodramatic." Putting an end to the melodrama, Mark stood up, looked around, and replied, "What, them? No, they're nowhere close. I was talking about the thread." "The what?" "...Nevermind." Just then, as if the very presence of Mark and Stephen revived them, four gnomes suddenly attacked, shouting something about smurfs. Mark and Stephen drew their weapons to face them, and Mark earnestly hoped that something else happened, lest he be stuck dying from the suspense forever! |
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Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 20th October 2008 - 07:17 PM |
Skin By: atsaunier Winxperts.net |