Difference between revisions of "Gamehiker High University Page 1"
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=Author: Vorpal= | =Author: Vorpal= | ||
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+ | Headmaster Mune: Did everyone seem to FORGET THAT THERE IS STILL MORE SCHOOLING TO BE DONE!?!?!? | ||
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+ | ~Everyone rushes off to their next class. Everyone important to the story happens to all have the same class together with Prof. Luigi~ | ||
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+ | Prof. Luigi: *throws down papers* THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!! | ||
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+ | Class: o_o | ||
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+ | Prof. Luigi: Every. Single. One of these papers except one. Is of the highest and utmost quality. | ||
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+ | Class: ??? | ||
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+ | Golem: *raises hand* Then what's wrong with them, sir? | ||
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+ | Prof. Luigi: Wha-zah?!!? You-bah!?!? HAVE NONE OF YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION!?!? Or has everything I said to you just gone through one ear and out the other?! The secret to credible work is QUANTITY! NOT QUALITY! In the end nothing matters except for HOW MANY PAGES YOU HAVE! That's the only way to measure success! Only one person made any effort to actually impress me with bulk and size instead of quality work. | ||
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+ | ~Prof. Luigi sits a huge stack of papers next to the stack he through down, and it is several inches taller than the bad papers all combined~ | ||
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+ | Prof. Luigi: Kuria turned in a whooping 173 page paper! It is so big that she's obviously smart! I didn't have to read it! Automatic A+!!! Thanks to her, there will be no grading curve! | ||
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+ | ~The rest of the class glares at Kuria~ | ||
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+ | Kuria: ~gulp~ | ||
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+ | ~BETWEEN CLASS PERIODS~ | ||
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+ | ~Sapphire and Elzie confront Kuria in the hall~ | ||
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+ | Sapphire: How did you write such a large paper in only one night? | ||
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+ | Kuria: Well.... I was........ buuuuu-sy... yeah busy! And I panicked and I just copy and pasted a bunch of wikipedia articles from the internet and turned it in..... | ||
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+ | Elzie: Busy, huh? | ||
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+ | Kuria: yyyyeah..... | ||
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+ | Prof. Vorpal: ~walking by~ You don't want to be late for my class on Obscure video game knowledge, now do you girls? ~winks at Kuria~ | ||
+ | |||
+ | Kuria: ~blushes and runs off before Sapph or Elzie can say anything~ | ||
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+ | Sapph: What was that about? | ||
=Author: GORE-ILLA= | =Author: GORE-ILLA= |
Revision as of 10:04, 31 August 2007
Pages in the Gamehiker High University Archive |
1 - 2 |
Author: GORE-ILLA
*Golem is woken up by his Space Harrier alarm clock. He quickly takes out his retainer, and proceeds to get ready for school. Golem then rushes out and runs to the bus stop. He sees Professor Vorpal waiting there in his half-school bus, half-ice cream truck.*
Golem: Ah, right on time!
*Golem steps towards the bus when suddenly the door slams shut in his face and the bus drives off. Soon it is completely out of Golem's sight, but he can still hear the ice cream bus's generic melody echoing down the boulevard.*
==THE GUYS DID ONE OR TWO GOOD OGS BRING YOU...
==HIGH SCHOOL AND/OR UNIVERSITY GOERS- DEPENDING ON WHICH IS MORE CONVENIANT AT THE GIVEN MOMENT!==
*Golem quickly enters the school.*
Golem: Oh I'm late I'm late I'm late...
Toby: (leaning against a locker, wearing a leather jackets and shades) Yo Golemio.
Golem: Toby? Oh good, I thought I was late for homeroom.
Toby: You are.
Golem: What... then what are you doing just hanging around here?
Toby: Hey! I'll go when I feel like it... (looking past Golem) I suddenly feel like it now. (runs off)
Golem: What's he so worried about? (turns around and bumps into... Headmaster Mune!!!) Oh, I'm sorry sir!
Headmaster Mune: Well well, if it isn't Golem, the little ringleader. A little late for homeroom, aren't we?
Golem: Sorry sir, I missed the ice cream bus and had to run across the desert and swim the moat to get here! Those alligators get faster every day...
Headmaster Mune: Hmph! Not so careful without the rest of your precious "Party Goers" to back you up, eh?
Golem: But- sir, I- Sorry sir-
???: Hey, quit pushing the poor kid around!
Headmaster Mune: What... who dares? (looks and sees Sapphire there) Oh you.
Sapphire: Yeah. The kid's telling the truth. In fact I paid Vorpal to ditch him there. I have it on tape if you want to see it.
Headmaster Mune: (glares) You are so lucky that the state requires each school have at least three female students (screen quickly flashes to establish the other two girls- Elzie and Kuria). Well you're off the hook for now... (leans in close to Golem's face) Party Goer.
Sapphire: Seeya in Phys Ed, Golem! (walks off)
Golem: (stares after Sapphire blankly for a while)
Headmaster Mune: Get to class already, your mortal affections disgust me!
Golem: Yeah, eh, uh, sorry sir. (runs off to Professor GORE's homeroom)
Headmaster Mune: Heh heh... I showed him. (trips and falls over, then notices that his shoelaces had been tied together; his face glows red) Grrrrr.... PARTY GOEEEEEEEEERS!!!
Author: Masamune
~Headmaster Mune continues his patrol of the halls... straight into the BATHROOM~
Lupus: ~is wearing a Australian cowboy hat and like, a crocodile skin vest or something~ Man, those Party Goers. They're all "Turn in your post" and that's like, so VGF Tech College, you dig man?
Yami: ~is wearing a generic cowboy hat~ My God, you're right. Why didn't I see it? I should totally drop out.
Mune: AHA! *steps out in front of them*
Lupus: Hey buuuuuddy.
Yami: Oh snap!
Mune: Thinking of dropping out, Mr. Yami?
Lupus: I thought it was Mr. Yoshi.
Yami: Naw dude, I switched around my names for some stupid reason I forgot.
Mune: Hey I got an idea. GET BACK TO CLASS. *points to Lupus* And register for classes!
Lupus: Naw man, I'm cool.
Mune: You'll pay for this, mark me! *turns around and hits the bathroom door on the way out* PARTY GOEEEEEEEEERS!!! CURSE YOU!
~Meanwhile~
Professor GORE: Now as you can see, there is many fields of study on whether Donkey Kong as you see him here is actually the original Donkey Kong or DK Jr. grown up. Advocates from the the DKU Foundation propose "Screw Nintendo" and have set me on fire several times. Any question?
Golem: Will this be on the test?
Professor GORE: Everything is on the test, ever. Whether I talk about it or not. Even if it's not in the book.
Sapphire: Aw that sucks.
Professor GORE: Now moving on... BREAK TIME. Get out of my face stupid kids.
Author: Golem
~Gamechamp, leaving GORE's class, enters the bathroom.~
Yami: ~whispering to Lupus~ Hey, there's the new foreign exchange student.
Lupus: ~whispering~ Who did they exchange him for?
Yami: ~whispering~ Luigi the Doubter.
~Elsewhere, in who knows where...
Luigi the Doubter wanders through a field full of cows. Finally he reaches a person.~
Doubter: Excuse-a me! Can-a you-a tell me if I'm-a anywhere near-a the school-a?
Person: Croikey, mate, this-a IS the school-a, yah? ~rips open a pack of bite-size sushi~
~Back in the bathroom...~
Yami: Hey kid. I've got cheat sheets for Prostupid GORE-ILLA's test tomorrow. Want 'em?
Gamechamp: Cheatie sheeties? I am-a noht sure I should be using thees...
Lupus: We only want to be your friends. Teachers love students with cheat sheets, heck those students get extra credit!
Gamechamp: Rove zem, eeh? Croikey, thanks matey! ...Want some bite-size sushi?
Author: GORE-ILLA
*Golem and Toby walk to their lockers, and along the way they spot Sapphire and Elzie chatting by their lockers.*
Toby: (smirks) Hey Golem, look it's your girlfriend!
Golem: Shh, not so loud, they might hear you! What do you think those girls talk about, anyways?
*Elsewhere, by Saph and Elzie's locker...*
Elzie: ...
Sapphire: ....
Elzie: ...
Sapphire: ....
Elzie: ...
Sapphire: ....
Elzie: ...
Sapphire: ....
*Back by Golem and Toby...*
Toby: Go on, talk to her!
Golem: No way!
Toby: Golem. Listen to me. (grabs Golem, spins him around and tosses him down the hall by Sapphire and Elzie)
Girls: Oh hey Golem.
Golem: H-h-hey girls...
Toby: Oh Golem, I see you're inviting this lovely lady to your big party.
Sapphire: Huh? What party?
Elzie: Hey, what about me?
Golem: Party? No, no-
Toby: I'm sorry Golem, I'm sure you wanted to ask her yourself, but this is just so exciting! It's the party of the millenia Miss Sapphire Blue, and you should be honored to be invited. It's this Saturday night at 8 pm.
Sapphire: Sounds slightly cool. Can I bring my boyfriend?
Golem: Buh-buh-buh...
Toby: You got a boyfriend?
Sapphire: Yeah, there he is now- Steve! Steve T!
*Steve T, the living piece of Medieval armor, walks over wearing his Varsity jacket. He is accompanied by Flutter and Big Al, who also wear Varsity jackets.*
Sapphire: (kisses Steve) This is Steve T- he's the star of our log-throwing team.
Steve T: What's up babe? Why are you talking to these dorks?
Sapphire: They invited us to a big party.
Flutter: Sounds awesome! I'll bring the booze!
Big Al: And I'll bring the real booze. [/OMG PARTY GOERS INJOKE NOW CRY]
Golem: ...Buh-buh-buh...
Toby: Great, we'll see ya then (drags Golem away) That didn't go so well.
Golem: (snaps back to normal) What party do you mean? And how did you know that my parents are out of town that night?
Toby: So I did some snooping in your parents' datebook! With my guidance, this party will be big.
*Elsewhere, in the teacher's conference room, Professors GORE and Luigi are engaged in a rigorous game of ping-pong.*
Professor Luigi: Ha, I'm now in the lead!
Professor GORE: You damn hobo!
Headmaster Mune: Hang on guys, I have to take attendence to make sure the whole faculty's here. Headmaster Mune? (chuckles) Present, sir, and might I say you look dashing. Why thank you me, but just don't get any ideas, not that there's anything wrong with that. Professor GORE, professor of Kongology?
Professor GORE: What the hell do you think Masa.
Headmaster Mune: HEADMASTER MUNE, DAMMIT! Anyway, Professor Luigi, professor of Pikminology.
Professor Luigi: (ignores)
Headmaster Mune: Ooh, looks like he's absent. I'll have to make a salary deduction then...
Professor Luigi: (trips over the ping-pong table) HERE I'M HERE!
Headmaster Mune: And what about Professor Vorpal, Professor of the Obscure/Ice Cream Bus Driver/Lunch Lady?
Professor Vorpal: For the last time, it's lunch MAN!
Headmaster Mune: Well, looks like the whole faculty is present and accounted for. Now, as for the subject of today's meeting.
Professor GORE: (drops ping-pong paddle) What, we're actually doing something today?
Professor Luigi: (scores another point while Professor GORE's paddle is on the floor) In your face you shracking monkey!
Headmaster Mune: Anyway. Apparently one of our students, Yami Yoshi, is considering dropping out of our school. I need suggestions to make him stay.
Professor Vorpal: Oh, that's it? Easy. We just hold an intervention, like on tv. Look, there's only half an hour towards lunch, I gotta get to the cafeteria and start cooking.
Headmaster Mune: Fine then. We shall used your intervention idea. You are all dismissed.
Professor Luigi: Damn, that was the longest faculty meeting we ever head.
*Professor GORE flips the ping-pong table over angrily. He and Luigi start duking it out until Headmaster Mune seperates them by spraying them with a water gun.*
*Soon Professor Vorpal arrives in the cafeteria.*
Professor Vorpal: Good, you made it.
*Out of the shadows steps a figure in a trenchcoat. The figure removes the trenchcoat to reveal... Kuria??!!!*
Kuria: Hey hon, how's the cooking going?
Professor Vorpal: Just tossed some leftover half-eaten junk in a blender so I can sprinkle it on some microwave pizza. That leaves me and extra half-hour of... free time.
*Professor Vorpal starts making out with Kuria, but they freeze when they hear a familiar voice.*
Headmaster Mune: Vorpal! Vorpal, where are you!
Professor Vorpal: Escape Plan A! (grabs Kuria by the foot, spins her her around, and then tosses her so out the open back door to the cafeteria while Headmaster Mune enters through the front door.)
Headmaster Mune: You forgot your briefcase.
Professor Vorpal: Thanks man.
Author: Masamune
Golem: Dude, how am I supposed to throw a party? I mean sure, my parents are merely plot devices that don't actually exist, but Mr. Muney lives next door!
Toby: Golemio, you worry too much. This is why you're lame, unpopular, and lead the Party Goers.
Golem: That didn't make sense.
~a bunch of kids walk by~
GM: Dude, I heard you were throwing a party! I'm totally there!
Golem: Eep, it's supposed to be just a little party...
MJ: I'm totally there.
Golem: Uh.
Oddball Mario: Me too!
Toby: *throws Oddball Mario up against the locker* Beat it punk! Nobody knows who you are or care!
Oddball Mario: ... *runs off crying*
Tyler: Hahahaha, Toby is such a rebel. But seriously Golem, I'm totally gonna show up.
Golem: Please don't.
Tyler: Hahaha, yeah. I think I'm gonna go tell all the other freshmen.
Toby: I hate him. If I attended this school, I'd beat him up for being a stupid sophomore.
Golem: But you'd be a freshmen.
Toby: Don't make me shove you in the locker!
~With the Freshmen!~
Headmaster Mune: Remember freshmen... I'M WATCHING YOU! AND STAY AWAY FROM GOLEM!
~the freshmen walk out~
Kester: Man, he's terrifying. It reminds me of that one episode of X-Files where Mulder-
Tyler: Hey freshmen *punches Kester* party at Golem's.
Kester: Ow. But also, awesome. I'll just tell my new friend here, Vivid.
Tyler: Vivid? That sounds like a chick name.
~Vivid steps out! A suspiciously young looking guy wearing a very baggy shirt, a scarf over the mouth, sunglasses, and a hoodie~
Vivid: Uh, my parents were hippies or something. I'm totally a guy. Yeah.
Kester: Oh well that's good, cuz the Headmaster hates all women almost as much as Professor Luigi hates everybody.
~Meanwhile
Prof. Luigi: *throws Aaron up against the locker* I assigned you to write more Super Mario World entries for my wonderful update! Where are they!?
Aaron: I'm working on them, I swear Professor Luiigii!
Prof. Luigi: I want them by tomorrow so help me! And stop using double Is in my name!~
Vivid: Well it's good that I'm a guy then.
Tyler: Good enough for me! I'm inviting you too, even though it's not my place to do so.
Vivid: That's.... great. O.o
Kester: Your eyes are weird.
Author: Frederick
Fred: Oh, there he is. Golem, you`re quite the talk of the complex which may or may not be considered an institute of learning. I hear you`re having a party and as the token rich, spoiled kid in a uniform it is my sworn duty to either hold a rival party or compliment you while insulting you on your forced decision to hold a party and later insult you while insulting you because it turns out to be a flop because you couldn`t have it on your own terms. I`m also wildly eccentric and occasionally say things that are terribly out of turn but it`s a childhood disease so no one can hold it against me TERRRRRRRRRrrific menu-pauses!
Golem: (thinking to himself) Sometimes I wish school shootings would happen.
(Suddenly Headmaster Mune appears out of nowhere with his hand on Golem`s shoulder)
Golem: Sir?
Headmaster Mune:Don`t even think about such things. Don`t you remember the server cra- I mean school relocations that occured twice?
Golem: Freeze frame. Yeah, Headmaster Mune`s been a real drag ever since he lost that bet with Robot King of Mecha high. I lost to his boy Rhyk (I bet his name`s Rick but he just wants to be different) in a creative writing contest. He`ll neve-
Headmaster Mune: Who are you talking to? We can still hear you! Golem, Golem!
Fred: It seems he`s got a terrible case of the autism. It`s a terrible shame that it will ruin his partY HARTY WITH THE PARTY PEANUTS
Headmaster Mune: Did, did I hear the word party, with Golem in the sentance?
Fred: MAKARENA SUGAR FOILS
Headmaster Mune: Guess not. I`ve got my eye on you, Golem.
Golem: Unfreeze! ( Puts his hand out to signal action and accidentally hits a button which starts up a merry-go-round which one part of picks up Headmaster masa by his knee somehow and drags him away)
Headmaster Masa: Even though you couldn`t have possibly known this would happen or done much to stop it PARRRRRTTTTTYYY GOEEEEERRRRSSSSS!
Author: Golem
~Toby is riding on one of the horses near Mune.~
Toby: Hey Headmaster, how do you like the merry-go-round?
Mune: YOU have something to do with this merry-go-round being in my school, don't you?!
Toby: Heheh, no, of course not! What gave you THAT idea?
~The ride stops, Mune manages to unhitch himself from the merry-go-round, and Toby goes to the line of waiting kids, taking their money in exchange for letting them on the merry-go-round.~
Toby: Only people with cool majors may go on the Merrier Go Rounder of the Future!
Headmaster: Now Tobias, you need to tell me--
Delivery man: Excuse me, sir. I need you to sign for this merry-go-round.
Headmaster: ~turns his head to the delivery man~ --eh?
Author: Vorpal
Headmaster Mune: Did everyone seem to FORGET THAT THERE IS STILL MORE SCHOOLING TO BE DONE!?!?!?
~Everyone rushes off to their next class. Everyone important to the story happens to all have the same class together with Prof. Luigi~
Prof. Luigi: *throws down papers* THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!
Class: o_o
Prof. Luigi: Every. Single. One of these papers except one. Is of the highest and utmost quality.
Class: ???
Golem: *raises hand* Then what's wrong with them, sir?
Prof. Luigi: Wha-zah?!!? You-bah!?!? HAVE NONE OF YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION!?!? Or has everything I said to you just gone through one ear and out the other?! The secret to credible work is QUANTITY! NOT QUALITY! In the end nothing matters except for HOW MANY PAGES YOU HAVE! That's the only way to measure success! Only one person made any effort to actually impress me with bulk and size instead of quality work.
~Prof. Luigi sits a huge stack of papers next to the stack he through down, and it is several inches taller than the bad papers all combined~
Prof. Luigi: Kuria turned in a whooping 173 page paper! It is so big that she's obviously smart! I didn't have to read it! Automatic A+!!! Thanks to her, there will be no grading curve!
~The rest of the class glares at Kuria~
Kuria: ~gulp~
~BETWEEN CLASS PERIODS~
~Sapphire and Elzie confront Kuria in the hall~
Sapphire: How did you write such a large paper in only one night?
Kuria: Well.... I was........ buuuuu-sy... yeah busy! And I panicked and I just copy and pasted a bunch of wikipedia articles from the internet and turned it in.....
Elzie: Busy, huh?
Kuria: yyyyeah.....
Prof. Vorpal: ~walking by~ You don't want to be late for my class on Obscure video game knowledge, now do you girls? ~winks at Kuria~
Kuria: ~blushes and runs off before Sapph or Elzie can say anything~
Sapph: What was that about?
Author: GORE-ILLA
Author: Ditto McCloaker
Author: Fred
Author: Luiigii of the Pipes
Author: GM
Author: GORE-ILLA
Author: Masamune
Pages in the Gamehiker High University Archive |
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