Member OG 7 Page 7

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Author: Fred

(As we continue on with our hapless heroes, Boris and Natasha plan their- whoops, erm, our heroes. Yeah.)

Yami: We're not very trapped, when you think about it. We can easily break this door, or the wall, whichever's cool.

Verde: Yes, sorry, after watching so many movies I forgot I was a ninja that throws EXPLOSIVE SHURIKENS. Totally slipped.

Yami: Don't waste them yet, I've got as many of these EXPLOSIVE EGGS as is needed.

AaronGuy: I think I ate something strange, and now I have EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA. Why do we say these things in caps?

Yami: Quiet.

(After a few noisy explosions, Kantii kicks the door open, and it flies as BSD's plunger, which it attaches itself to.)

BSD: Yes! Now it is in my grasp.

Yami Yoshi: Dear god, something has happened that should have never happened, should not happen, and should never happen. BSD has in his possesion, the The Holy Plot Device ~Reverb~, and is about to use it.

(Suddenly, the explosive diarrhea kicks in and AaronGuy dies. Just kidding. About everything. AaronGuy leaps towards the device, and he touches it at the exact same time BSD does. Everything is encompassed in a mixture of chaos and destruction, light changing to darkness, coke to pepsi, and carbon freezing to Vanilla Ice's sudden new album that rates first on the charts for no real reason. Reality is torn asunder and replaced by Oreo(tm) cookies. Right before this happens, however...)

Fred: I suppose I'm Fredrick Von Bisquit, or whomever since YOUR LYING SHUTUP FOREVER. OK AS MR. REFEREE I FIGHT MASKED ORGASM NOT ORGANISM BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER HIS REEL IDENTITY. DISCOVER THE 5 MISTAKES IN THIS PARAGRAPH, KIDS! IT'S FUN YOU LOVE DOING IT.

SwordMaster: Oh, Bajeezus, I sense that something intolerably stupid is about to happen.

Chizu: Great. Here we go again.

(Fred leaps at the masked Organism, but misses and hits a masked Organ. TMO (That's his showbiz name) attacks Fred back with a running leap, but Fred give the hulking beast an uppercut into the ceiling. However, TMO comes back down, breaking the ground up, and swats Fred like a fly. Suddenly Abbandon grabs Fred, and Lithium Debater joins his ally in the fight against the two. SwordMaster and Chizu see the tail end of Yami, but a door shuts in front of them, and an Theodorik on a giant Television screen laughs at them maniacally, as gravity begins to go nuts, throwing everyone around the ring, randomly. Suddenly in a black void, Saru, AaronGuy, BSD, The Arcanist (I think he was masked organism, wasn't he), and Lithium Debater hold onto The Holy Plot Device ~Reverb~)

Saru: What in the-

AaronGuy: -sh that BSD dies of AIDS!

BSD: -I was all powerful! Crap.

The Arcanist:...

Lithium Debater: And for our next program, painful crackerjacks!

Saru: This... presents an enigma.

BSD: So who wished for this?

Lithium: Tom Sellek, it had to be.

AaronGuy: Can I wish us back yet?

Saru: You might as well, I don't get what's going on.

(Suddenly, Tenorvista and Ninjuka struggle above them, flying past them at supersonic speed. About two thousand miles past them, they quickly stop and return, seeing the device they've been looking for their whole lives.)

Author: Golem

~In an instant, everyone returns to the lobby of the mansion.~

BSD: Guys, get off! You don't realize what you're doing! Fooling with this thing can be very dangerous!!

~Nijuka throws Tenorvista to the floor and floats down beside BSD.~

Nijuka: Then it shouldn't be in anyone's hands but I! Obviously I hold the most potential for doing harm while playing with The Holy Plot Device ~Reverb~!

BSD: ~gritting his teeth and lifting his lip to show his sharp teeth~ So you're the one he was talking about...

Nijuka: What, little old me-hee-hee? No, I'm afraid I'm much overshadowed by that Dark Cloaked figure. But hey ~extends his fingers into six-inch sharp claws before taking a swipe at BSD, who jumps back, losing his grip on The Holy Plot Device ~Reverb~~, I'm here and HE's not!

Saru: Listen, bub, one tap on this machine from Ingrid here ~nods his head backwards, to where Ingrid stands~ and it's useless.

Nijuka: One tap from me ~taps AaronGuy, who stands next to him while holding the plot device--AaronGuy turns to stone~ and YOU'll be useless!

~Elsewhere, Yami inspects the room with the arena in it, looking for where everyone could have gone.~

Author: Yoshiyami

Aaron Guy: …

Verde: Aaron Guy!

Saru: What the hell are you?!

Nijuka: Outta my way!

~Everyone clinging onto the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~ is flung to the side by an invisible force.~

Nijuka: Kee hyee hyee!

~Nijuka cackles maniacally as he glides up to the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~ and caresses the machine with his two, chalky-white hands.~

Nijuka: Kee hyee hyee! I’ll put you in a safe place!

~Nijuka tosses the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~ into his hood and a loud “GULP” is heard.~

BSD: !!!

Nijuka: Now if you excuse me, it is the time for me to leave! Toodles!

BSD: Get back here! I’ll tear open your stomach!

~BSD flaps furiously towards Nijuka and materializes a pair of Molten Eggs in his hands.~

BSD: Molten Egg!

~BSD hurls both eggs at Nijuka.~

Nijuka: Kee hyee hyee!

~Nijuka opens his left palm revealing a red demonic eyeball in the center. The eyeball flashes and the two eggs are sucked inside.~

BSD: What the hell?!

Author: Fred

(As BSD stares on in horror, Nijuka uses the other hand to blast out hundreds of identical eggs, in the same pairs of two. The eggs go through BSD's corpse in machine gun style)

Lithium: 'tis unrefined to cheat at hedgehogging!

Masked Organism: No! Not after all my hard work! Time for you to pay!

Tenorvista: There is nowhere you can go to escape from me, Nijuka! Let's see how you do when this universe is sealed from our own!

Nijuka: Ack- You did that?

(Lithium debater whips out two shotguns, each loaded with explosive gopher shrapnel. He shoves them both up against Nijuka's body, and fires, blasting out the entire (although it was kind of ethereal) chest, along with the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~)

Nijuka: Gack...

Tenorvista: I have to seal you, quick! TERMINUS!

(Nijuka disappears, and Saru clobbers Lithium as he reloads. As Saru approaches the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~, Tenorvista psychically pulls his legs backwards, tripping him. Ingrid jumps on him, just as Verde busts down the door. Suddenly, men in black and white suits all rush in down the stairs, through windows, and through the ceiling with alien-looking assault rifles, (as well as throwing origami) and begin a huge fire-fight. Lithium blasts a shot off at Ingrid, and then at a bunch of the white-suited men as he runs for the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~.

Yami, Chizu, Swordmaster, Bat-Ear, Yamina, and Fred all run into the room, trying to figure out just what's going on. Suddenly, the room is buffeted from machine gun fire as a squad of robots controlled by Thedorik break through and tear up the place. Tenorvista manages to break free of Ingrid and rushes with a shield, but his is stopped cold by an egg by YY and then slashed down the middle of the back to the tailbone by swordmaster. Bat-Ear manages to break the majority of the robots, and then engages in a swordfight with Saru, who barely manages to keep him at bay. Yamina makes a jump for the device, but a well-placed shoe from Fred stops that from happening.

Whilst the chaos continues, The Chinese Army sets up artillery, and begins making strikes upon the mansion. As the mansion begins to crumble and shatter, the robots begin to gain the general upper hand. As GORE enters the room, and punches Fred into Lithium, two metalic hands from the ceiling grasp the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~. However, the device does not function, due to it not sensing a pulse. As the staircases give way, and a spreading missle approaches from the sky, everyone is forced to simply watch as Ingrid and Verde simultaeneously grab the device.)

Yami: I'm almost getting used to this.

GORE: I just got out of a coma and grabbed P-l0tt. How can ANYone be used to this?

Fred: Great Garbonzos! This groovy cook cooks the goose dinner! And those christmas lights tack up your foxy sky!

(The missles approach ever closer, as a huge white light radiates from the haywire machine. The floor begins to give way, and magma erupts from it. Bat-Ear is completely engulfed, and so is special guest star Cuba Gooding Jr.

A bit later, Yami awakens under a large piece of rubble in a shabby, narrow black ashfault alleyway, with three-story red brick buildings to both sides. Moving it out of the way, he spots an American flag on the back of a large motor vehicle leading a squad of jeeps filled with men carrying anti-tank weaponry. Yami looks at the rubble he moved, realising it was a stone AaronGuy. GORE awoke a little further down the alley, and they quickly spotted each other. Using the ladder provided, they climb to the top of one of the buildings. After climbing a few rungs, Yami notices the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~, broken and fuming, lying in a trash can. Grabbing it and climbing up to the top of the building, Yami and GORE wonder where they are)

GORE: I wonder where we are.

YY: We're in America, I think. But what's going on over there?

(YY points to the convoy he spotted earlier being flipped and ransacked by three people, who appear to be Fred, Lithium Debater, and surprisingly, Snoop. They blast out the tires using shotguns and sharpened pumpernikel bread, and then Fred picks the vehicles up, and puts them in very large bags)

GORE: Oh, bajeezus, this side of the world was not made for to treck upon.

Author: Golem

Yami Yoshi: C'mon!

~Yami Yoshi and GORE descend the ladder as SwordMaster and Chizu ascend a ladder on the opposite side of the building.~

BSD's voice: We're in America.

~SwordMaster and Chizu look around, trying to find where the voice comes from.~

BSD's voice: Down here. The broken plot device with BSD's soul stored inside.

~In looking around, SwordMaster and Chizu spot the convoy as well as Yami Yoshi and GORE. They too descend and run for the convoy.~

BSD's voice: ~sigh~

~Down below, GORE backs up, and swings his arm with him, hitting Yami in the chest and forcing him backwards.~

Yami: ~whispering~ What's the big idea?

~GORE points up at the third story of a building across a street. The building's windows are boarded up with wood, but enough space is left between pieces of wood on the third story window all the way to the right that a small black tube can peek through.~

GORE: ~whispering~ Looks like a sniper to me. Let's get back in the alley and wait it out.

~As GORE and Yami back up, they bump into Chizu, SwordMaster, and Ihsay.~

Yami: ~whispering~ Everyone get back into the alley!

Ihsay: ~whispering~ What's going on?!

~Everyone runs back into the alley. GORE keeps his eye on the third story right-most window of the building across the street, and just as the black tube slides inside the building all the way, he hears Fred.~

Fred: ~grasping his leg~ Yargh, a million groovy geese! ~a small amount of blood starts to pour out from under his hand~

Author: Yoshiyami

~The boarded window bursts open and a man garbed in a red ninja jumpsuit, similar to Verde’s, hops out, rolls onto the street, and aims a 9mm pistol at Fred.~

Red Man: You’re finished, Frederick von Bisquick! Your reign of terror ends now!

~The Red Man fires his pistol and unloads his entire clip on Fred. Within seconds, several bloody bullet holes cover Fred’s chest, arms, and legs.~

Fred: …

~Fred remains motionless, without even batting an eyelid, and maintains his maniacal grin.~

Red Man: Still alive?

~The Red Man pulls out a kunai from his belt, twirls it on his finger, and charges towards Fred.~

~SLISH~

~The Red Man decapitates Fred with the kunai.~

Fred: …

~Fred’s head spirals through the air and splatters against the ground into a puddle of white waffle batter.~

~SPLOOSH~

Red Man: What?! A doppelganger?!

~The Red Man turns around and “Fred’s” decapitated body melts into another puddle of waffle batter.~

Fred’s Voice: Hallo, Rojo! What time is it in Antarctica in Celsius degrees?

Rojo: Damnit! Where are you?

~Cue MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This”.~

Fred’s Voice: HAMMER TIME!

~A giant hammer pops out of nowhere and bonks Rojo in the back of the head, knocking him into a nearby dumpster.~

Author: golem

~Yami Yoshi and GORE leap out into the street, ready to face Lithium and Snoop, and the latter of the two wears a heavy coat. SwordMaster darts his eyes around and spots Fred atop the building across the street from the building that the broken THPDR is atop. SwordMaster then runs across the street and to the metal staircase beside the building Fred is on. While this all happens, Ihsay and Chizu run to the dumpster, which is next to the building that Fred is on. Ihsay grabs the giant hammer while Chizu attends to Rojo.

Snoop reaches into his coat with both hands and pulls out a knife in each hand. He lobs the knives at Yami Yoshi and GORE, then reaches back into his pockets, gets another pair, and lobs that pair. This continues. Yami sidesteps the first dagger that comes to him and throws a Dark Egg high into the air. GORE, while running towards Snoop, grabs the second dagger that comes to him and tosses it back at Snoop as he evades a third dagger.

Snoop holds the fourth pair in his hand and sidesteps to Yami and GORE's right, evading the dagger GORE threw and stepping right under Yami's Dark Egg. GORE continues dashing towards Snoop while Yami maintains his position. Snoop tosses a dagger upwards at the Dark Egg, shattering it in the air and causing egg shrapnel to rain upon himself and GORE. Both get a few cuts here and there from the shrapnel, but nothing deep.

Snoop's attack allows Lithium to bolt past Yami and GORE and to the dumpster. Holding a shotgun in each hand, Lithium slows as he gets close to the dumpster, eventually sliding his entire body right up next to the front side of the building next to the alley holding the dumpster. He aims two shots at Chizu (who stands facing away from Lithium), who is, as stated above, attending to Rojo. The wall next to him crumbles right before he gets hit in the head with the giant hammer that Fred threw. Ihsay completes her swing of Fred's hammer just as Lithium, in his last act before going unconscious, pulls the triggers in both shotguns. However, the bonk on his head has readjusted his aim so much that he ends up shooting at a building and the sky.

Meanwhile, SwordMaster has chased Fred to the edge of the building top. He holds his sword up to Fred's throat.~

Author: Fred

(As stated before, Fred is held at swordpoint by SwordMaster, on the top of an apartment building)

SwordMaster: Tell me what's going on.

Fred: A Thousand Nubians to me shave, you've got toads to duel in higher places than my own, sah.

SwordMaster: Come again? And, you WILL come again, this time.

(He thrusts the sword closer to Fred again, who jumps back)

Fred: A Pocket's worth of apologies, adversary of ducks! However, you realise now that I am unarmed and Pizza Pockets have got more stuff!

SwordMaster: I simply wish for information. Do not make this harder than it has to be.

Fred: Fight we shall. I CALL DONKEY KONG SO YOU'LL HAVE TO GO FOR MARIO AGAIN AS WE DESCEND THE PIPE TO A SYMPHONY OF MIRRORING LOBSTERS!

(Fred puts his hand inside his "utility knickers", and grabs his emergency flaming fire axe (yes, this actually makes sense), and rushes SM. SM flips over Fred, grazing his shoulder with a slash. Fred ducks and hits the mid-air SM with his fist. SM spirals into a land, and rushes at Fred. Fred brings his axe from below on his left side, but the handle is easy severed by a vetical chop from SM, and the axe-head flies into the next building. As SM spins back up to cut Fred to Ribbons, he realises that he is unaware of where Fred is. Fred grabs SM from behind, and knocks the OG Blade off the building while doing a pirouette. SM manages to pull Fred of him, on to have Fred toss waffles in his factored form. The waffles break off a great chunk of the top of the building, and it slides off, with SwordMaster on it. However, Fred jumps in after him, prepared to not allow any clean escapes. Fred punches crudely, and SM sidesteps it, slamming down and breaking his arm. He then gives a roundhouse-kick to Fred's face, who decides it's time for his latest technique- The wheel of trivialities! However, the show is caught up in red tape after it's host is seemingly murdered in his sleep by Alex Trebek, so Fred just sinks his teeth into a juicy portion of SM's leg. Sooo tender, but he had the decency to cut it up and then eat it, of course. He is civilized.)

SM: For the love of- stop eating my leg! Go on, get! COME ON! (Suddenly, SM remembers his youth of horrible bites on the legs and it's traumatic effects on him, and how both his parents and his virginity were lost due to a leg-biting car crash. Yeah, SM goes psycho, and an ethereal sword appears in one hand, as he recalls the OG blade. He quickly gouges out Fred's tounge, releasing his grip on the Botswanian Rubber Tire industry, but also SM's leg. Fred flies into a wall, but quickly recovers, as SM remembers the plummeting, and hits rock bottom.)

Fred: Time for crime! I'll use my lap signal to contact the others!

Chizu: Wait, how can they tell it's a lap?

Fred: I... don't really know. But I do know you're giving me that body, or I'ma cut your internet dial-up waiting in half!

SwordMaster: Like hell you will. Well, hell'd probably be good at it, so I guess you just won't.

(Fred picks up his hammer, and smashes the ground, causing a small earthquake that turns all the windows in a fifty-foot radius into pigs)

Chizu: That'd probably be good for parties.

SM: We do not "Go" to parties. That aside, time for more pain, Fred.

Fred: Actually, I just kinda felt like picking up my hammer, and it fell because you broke my arm. I'm really just not feeling like it right now. That's why I called the boys on my Edible pager-phone.

SM: What?

Ishay: I hope they aren't such lightweights!

SM: What?!

(Yami and GORE surround Snoop, who pulls out two thompsons, and fires at their legs. A large amount of bullets pierce GORE's leg, but he is undoubtedly fine and feels very little. Yami slaps Snoop with his tounge while signing autographs to give in later days. This infuriates Snoop, which is really too bad since he would have been even more angry if he had been concious after GORE suddenly punches him in the cheek, knocking him into a dumpster like Lithium's.)

Fred: Yahtzee Dubloons! Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV! BRING IN ZE VEHICLE! Or just drive in and attack generally as we narrowly escape and could have used you before, thanks a lot.

SwordMaster: You're not getting away that easily! You'll still get away, but with more difficulty!

Fred: Of walnuts past The Great One, Lupus, Narrates the doom of tapped water! I'm serious, tapped water has got to go. We monopolise the Boardwalk, then we stalk the lock.

Rojo: Ugh.. Your bottling days will be over soon enough, fiend!

Fred:Contra - aridly, I am imposed by the governing forces of Greenland to badmouth your Belome fanfics, and to say that Team Rocking-horse Omega has no buisness merging with the ninjas of Tap water warefare! Adieu I bid thee!

(A pink and purple GMC 1982 Custom van drives in and picks up the three villains, while firing rounds of advil from two WW2-era German machine guns mounted through slits.)

Yami: Crap. America gets games way later, don't they? It's just that we were in Tokyo forever there.

Author: Golem

~The van drives off as quickly as it came, allowing no chance for anyone to follow it.~

GORE: ~turns to Rojo~ Okay, now that that's over, time for some exposition,...

Rojo: My name is Rojo. Directly after the western hemisphere came back into being, Team Rocket Omega stood ready to take over the North and South American continents. Since TRO was not confined to the western hemisphere, it had roughly 20 years of technology at their disposal that the US, Canada, and others weren't ready for. Since then, TRO has done a magnificent job of keeping the land mass in check--minimal revolts, and only a few revolts at that. It's also responsible for keeping this hemisphere in isolation from the other, thus keeping it in a safe environment both from attacks and allowing its economy to steadily improve.

Chizu: But Fred said he was from Greenland's government, so not EVERYTHING in the western hemisphere is controlled by Team Rocket Omega, right?

Rojo: This is the first we've heard from Greenland. It's been completely wiped off the map. Reports have been going around that it's been turned into an underwater country, but I advise you take such news with a grain of salt.

Ihsay: What's this tap water versus bottled water issue?

Rojo: We've had some trouble with our water treatment plants. However, everything is alright now, the plants are completely secure, and we're investigating the issue. Small amounts of blood from a former employee had managed to get into the system.

GORE: The former employee wouldn't happen to go by the name of Fusion, would he?!

Rojo: I'm supposed to say it's classified... but yes, it's the blood of Fusion.

GORE: I bet I know just who has that blood, too...

THPDR: Hey guys!! I saved your life, mind paying some attention to me now?!

Author: Yoshiyami

Sword Master: The Holy Plot Device ~reverb~!

GORE: It can talk?

Yami Yoshi: Hey, it kinda sounds like BSD!

Holy Plot Device ~reverb~: That's because I am BSD!

Yami Yoshi: You traitorous bastard! ~to the OGers~ Let's destroy him and the Holy Plot Device ~reverb~ before he decides to use it for evil!

Holy Plot Device ~reverb~: Wait! If I was a traitor, would I sacrifice my body and soul to keep the machine functioning?

Yami Yoshi: Yes...now die!!

GORE: ~grabs Yami Yoshi's arm~ Hold on... ~to BSD~ What are you talking about?

Author: Golem

GORE: I mean, you got killed, you call that sacrificing yourself?

~Everyone starts climbing to the roof where BSD is.~

BSD: Well... erm... I meant... over the time I was with The Holy Plot Device ~reverb~, I grew a great bond with it. I learned a great deal about the balance Introbulus and Jim were dedicated to keeping, and I dedicated myself to keeping that balance too. Anyway, my bond with THPDR (if I may call it that for short) was so great that when I got killed back there, I was able to force my soul into it, then wish us all here. Unfortunately, my soul's prescense and the strain of bringing you all here has broken it.

~Everyone is up on the roof. Chizu holds the stone AaronGuy.~

BSD: While I'm stuck here on Earth, I should probably warn you about a new threat--

Yami: A NEW threat?! We've got Fred and Tenorvista to deal with!!

BSD: --And on top of the new threat, Fusion won't be too happy when he finds out Team Rocket Omega owns America.

Rojo: Fusion!! That name burns in my soul.

Yami: Your soul...?!

SwordMaster: Is Fusion on Earth as well, Black Skull Dragoshi?

BSD: No, but you can bet he's on his way. I found a tracking device on THPDR. However, I left the tracking device somewhere in that mansion.

GORE: So you can't take us back to where Goren's place is, or at least was, can you?

BSD: No, I don't have any powers left.

GORE: Well, then, I advise we take care of Fred's insurgents first. After that, we could probably get TRO to give us a free plane ride back to where the tournament was held.

Author: Yoshiyami

About a million miles away…

~Fusion flies through space towards a blue planet in the distance. Fusion periodically looks down and checks the tracking device on his belt.~

Fusion: I guess Earth is back…GORE’s little robot must’ve restored it after Akujin was defeated. In any case, I better stop BSD before the planet gets destroyed again!

~Fusion flies into Earth’s atmosphere unaware that three rocket ships are following him in hot pursuit. Each ship’s cockpit carries a single man, each man wearing a yellow poncho...~

Author: Golem

Man in rocket on right: I guess we could tell what he was saying if sound waves could travel through space. ~shifty eyes~

Man in rocket on left: C'mon, we've got to go tell the black cloths and the cowboys about this new guy. They're still at the mansion.

~Back at the mansion... the three men dressed entirely in black hide in a cove in the side of the wall several yards above the lava.

Three men in cowboy hats and wearing trench coats hide in a cove on the opposite side.~

Man in cowboy hat on right: Where are the yellow ponchos? We can't wait in here to be rescued all day.

Man in cowboy hat in middle: Be patient. If they're slow it's for a good reason.

~Back in America...~

BSD: Tenorvista is dead.

Ihsay: Well, that makes things a lot easier, doesn't it?

BSD: I doubt his boss is, though.

SwordMaster: Do you know if this boss will send anyone else?

BSD: I do not know of any others that the boss could send.

Author: Yoshiyami

Yami Yoshi: Hey, Red! Didn’t you say you’ve heard the name Fusion before?

Rojo: ~grits teeth and clenches fists~ Yes…the biggest traitor to the entire Team Rocket Omega organization!

GORE: “Traitor”? What do you mean?

Rojo: Several years ago, my boss discovered Fusion shortly after the monster had blown up a laboratory. My boss adopted him and raised him like his own son!

Yami Yoshi: Wow, Fusion never told us this story…

Rojo: Anyways, my boss had Fusion undergo extensive training to become the ultimate wea—er…warrior! My boss believed that Fusion had given up his evil ways and announced him heir of the organization! However, the following day, Fusion suddenly lost his mind and destroyed the headquarters in a fit of insanity. My boss tried to reason with him, but the monster ignored him and dealt him a near-fatal blow to the head before flying off. We never saw him again…

Yami Yoshi: …and then Fusion joined us— the OGers!

Rojo: What?! You let that monster fight alongside you guys?! I’m surprised he hasn’t killed you all yet…

GORE: Fusion was a tad egotistic and short-tempered…but he never hurt any of us!

Rojo: I guess you’ve all been tricked by his friendly demeanor as well! Remember OGers: Fusion is a traitorous, deceitful monster!

Author: AaronGuy

Yami Yoshi: Why should we believe you? Fusion's been nothing but helpful to us!

GORE: Except for the whole Fusion Kradian thing.

Yami Yoshi: Shut up, GORE. I don't know where we'd be with out Fusion...

GORE: Regular Kradians were bad enough-

Yami Yoshi: Shut UP, GORE!

Rojo: I'm not saying he hasn't been a useful pawn- I mean, person, in your adventures. However, just remember, at any moment.. ~snaps fingers~ He'll go Medieval on you.

Swordmaster: Actually, he prefers using beams.

Rojo: It's a figure of speech...

Chizu: ~straining to keep AaronGuy from leaning on top of her~ Sir, you mentioned earlier that TRO was in control of this hemisphere, and in charge of keeping it under control.

Rojo: Correct.

Chizu: And that involved ceasing revolts... what sort?

Rojo: Well, one or two involved some rather dangerous robots... but most of them involved small remnants of the local Militaries, who didn't understand that it was for the best that TRO take over...

???: That's where you're WRONG, Rojo DeSangre!

Rojo: What? ~Turns around~ Well, if it isn't my old friend, General Verde. Speak of the devil.

Yami: Heyy, we almost forgot about you. What happened to you and the others?

Verde: It turns out the birdlike one can be a pretty good digger when he puts his mind to it.

Kantii: ~standing beside Ingrid, who's standing behind Verde~ My arms hurt...

Verde: I'm not 100% sure how we came here, but it couldn't have come at a better time. Because now I can PROVE that TRO isn't in control for the good of the people.

Rojo: You're crazy! TRO has made great efforts to instill peace in this hemisphere!

Verde: Then explain THIS!

Ingrid: ~steps forward~

Rojo: ....who is...

Verde: She's the prototype RocketDroid, a new sort of weapon that was ABOUT to come off the assembly line about 2 years ago... if there hadn't been something wrong with this one. So tell me, Rojo... why would an Organization concentrating on Peace need such elaborate weapons?

Rojo: ....It was supposed to have been destroyed...

Yami: Wow, TRO certianly has a bad track record when it comes to people defecting, eh?

Chizu: I don't think this one counts, though. THEY got rid of her.

Rojo: ENOUGH! I'm going to make sure this mistake is wiped off the face of the Earth! ~whips out his pistol~

Verde: You lay one hand on her, and-

Ingrid: General. I shall fight him.

Verde: What...?

Ingrid: You are still not at optimal health after your encounter with Mirawk. I shall fight him.

Verde: ...Very well.

Rojo: ~fires~

Ingrid: ~spins around after being struck in the shoulder. There's a hole in her uniform where the bullet struck though her metal skin remains unpunctured.~

Rojo: Huh, I should have figured you'd be made tougher... ~pulls out a small red dagger from his belt~ Guess I'll have to slice you apart!

GORE: Wait, if a gun didn't work, what good is a knife going to do?

Rojo: Oh, you'll see..

Dagger: ~glows on and off with a red glow~

Rojo: ~leaps at Ingrid~

Ingrid: ~leans back, avoiding Rojo's jump, before grabbing his leg and slamming him into the ground~

Rojo: Hehe.. that's it, give me more...

Dagger: ~glows more intensely~

Rojo: ~slices at Ingrid~

Ingrid: ~steps back before kicking Rojo in the chin~

Rojo: ~stumbles backward~ That's enough for the first change...

Verde: First change?

Rojo: Indeed. You see, this isn't your average dagger..

Dagger: ~grows in size and length, becoming a short red sword~

Rojo: This is the Sanguine Saber. And the more hits I take the larger-and more powerful- it becomes.

Yami Yoshi: That's messed up...

Rojo: Perhaps, but it certainly raises the stakes, doesn't it? Think about it, if you are able to think, Droid- the more you hurt me, the easier it will be for me to slice you to shreds.

Ingrid: ...

Rojo: Well then, let us continue!

Author: Yoshiyami

~Rojo swings his Sanguine Saber at Ingrid and slashes her directly in the chest. Ingrid’s titanium-plated chest is unharmed by the blade, but the force sends Ingrid flying backwards into an old rusty car.~

Ingrid: …

Rojo: Hahaha! What’s wrong? Do you lack the sanguinity to stand up against me now?!

~Rojo rolls up his right sleeve revealing a silver cord attached from the handle of the saber to a hole in his wrist.~

Rojo: I have an entire network of cords wired throughout my body, all of which are connected directly to my nervous system. Any impulse of pain I receive, instead of traveling up the spinal cord and to the brain, travel through these cords into the hilt of my Sanguine Saber! The hilt converts the impulses of pain into energy and produces this powerful, red-hot blade!

Yami Yoshi: Whoa, that’s some crazy shiznit…

Rojo: That’s right! Only the brilliant scientists at TRO are capable of transforming weak humans into indestructible war machines!

Chizu: “War machines”? So you Rockets are nothing but tools used by your boss for domination and destruction?

Rojo: Perhaps...but we also reap from the benefits of our boss’ gains! After we conquered Canada, our boss rewarded us with free bacon and maple syrup for an entire week! We aren’t mindless tools…we are pampered servants of Team Rocket Omega, the most powerful organization in the world!

~Rojo turns around and faces the OGers.~

Rojo: Hey, OGers! Once I execute these two traitors, how would you all like to join TRO? I’m sure my boss would be much obliged to accept all of you!

GORE: …never! We’ll never join your evil cult of mindless, brainwashed drones!

Rojo: …I see…I guess that makes you all traitors…I have no choice…but to execute you all!

Author: Golem

~Rojo quickly walks to Ingrid, who shoves herself up, launching herself towards Rojo. He has his sword low, then swings upward at Ingrid, who steps to the side and grabs hold of Rojo's sword. She tugs at it as hard as she can with her left hand while shaking off the metal glove on her right hand.~

Rojo: Nothing can break this bond!

~Ingrid slaps her bare right hand onto the sword. A few seconds later, Rojo kicks Ingrid in the stomach and she releases her grip.~

Rojo: We've been prepared for the MissingNo virus for some time now, Ingrid.

~GORE, having placed himself by Rojo, leaps up, putting his metal fist forward. Seconds before the punch lands, though, Rojo spins around, grabs GORE's fist, and guides his momentum into Rojo, who jumps back but is still clobbered in her lower legs by GORE. Immediately afterward, Rojo slumps down--unconscious--as his sword grows to a length of five feet. Standing behind him is SwordMaster, who has just hit Rojo in the head with the hilt of his sword. Everyone comes to stand around the battle area.~

Yami Yoshi: Really, what was he expecting, threatening us all at once?

GORE: Come to think of it... where are all the Rockets? Shouldn't we be swamped with bad guys by now?

~A Rocket Grunt steps out of an alley several yards away from the OGers and holds up a gun as the sound of helicotper blades rings in the background.~

Grunt: Don't move! Y'all're under arrest for assault of a po-lice officer!

Ihsay: You think you're going to be able to take us all?!

Grunt: I'm not the one y'all should be worried about takin' yeh!

~Grunt points upward. The OGers and company look upward to find a helicopter the height of three stories straight above them. Six snipers lean out of the helicopter, aimed straight at the group below.~

Author: Fred

(As the helicopter hovers a hundred feet above the OGers, they are forced to slowly put down the weapons they have on them, as they are detained by the grunt)

Grunt: That's it. Don't even try attacking the copter, we've got snipers in windows for miles around. All hail TRO!

Grunts: Yea!

Grunt: Excellent. Grunt #05758, grab #00398.

1. 05758: It's done.

Grunt: Well, OGers, it's time you take a trip. Our armoured entourage can escort you to the Municipal Fortress safe and sound, where we will break you until you are able to be fixed, or you die.

Yami: I can't wait to get started!

Grunt: What.

Yami: I've always wanted to be detained right and proper, you know?

(Yami moves closer)

Grunt: Look, I don't know-

Yami: YOU MUST PROVIDE ME WITH YOUR AUTOGRAPH, MR. MIYAMOTO!

(Yami gets much closer, and the Grunt's weapon begins to shake)

Grunt: No, really-

SwordMaster: Come on, give it to him, please?

(SM also advances)

GORE: What? Ohhhh, yeah. Yes. Do it.

(GORE advances on him)

Helicopter radio: *Pshhht, # 3.1415, we are position to remove them from you*

The # 3.1415 formerly known as "Grunt" : You hear that? They've got you in sight, and my death is insignificant! Back off!

(Suddenly, the helicopter explodes and crashes into a nearby building, due to the well-placed grenade that was thrown by Verde)

1. 3.1415: But how? And why? And who were you, I thought it had to be david because of the hat question!

Yami: I really did want your autograph. Seriously, not one of our opponents have been professional enough to really capture all of us at once.

Chizu: Although that makes it the plan with the least foreplanning ever, it was easy once we knew where the targets were. Verde had already thrown the grenade before the radio transmission, but that was the icing on top.

1. 3.1415: That's great. However, here comes your armoured entourage. Say goodbye!

(Multiple top-of-the-line or parabolic arch tanks and armored jeeps pull up from most roads, with multiple automatic computer-controlled weaponry.)

GORE: That's just great and all, and I really love missles, I really do, but we should probably just let ourselves out.

1. 3.1415: # 22E29! FIRE THE ORBITAL LASER FROM UNDERGROUND! THEN CALL MY WIFE AND TELL HER THAT I CANNOT PICK UP THE GROCERIES DUE TO DEATH, AND I HAVE FAILED HER.

Yami: Guys, did GORE not stress running enough? I wasn't listening just there, but the guy was speaking in all CAPS so it's got to be pretty ridiculous.

(The OGers head for the empty alleyway while avoiding nigh-on unnecessary amounts of violent gunfire around them.)

Author: GORE-ILLA

GORE: I'm back.

Yami: What? You were here the whole time.

GORE: Oh, right. Let's just take attendance: who exactly is here?

SwordMaster: Me, Yami, you, AaronGuy's statue, Verde, Ingrid, Chizu, Ihsay, Kantii and the broken Holy Plot Device (Reverb with BSD's soul contained within).*

• An armored Rocket car in the shape of a Humvee smashes through the alley wall and knocks out one of the OGers. The Grunt driving the car does not say anything and immediately takes out the weapons. Various guns and missile launchers emerge from the parts of the truck, then begins blasting wildly in every direction.*

Ihsay: Duck!

Kantii: Leave this to me!

Verde: Impossible! I don't think an oversized bird can take down such a tank!

• Kantii sinks his talons into the top of the tank and begins pulling as he avoids the weapons.*

Kantii: You'll... make... fun... of... me...

• Kantii tears the top off, causing the tank to fall apart as he finishes his speech.*

Kantii: ...NEVERMORE!

Yami: Well that was qu- oh shit.

• The tank falls apart to reveal the Grunt in heavy metallic armor which is also covered with weapons.*

Verde: Get out of my country, scum!

Grunt: Your country? I don't think so. This belongs to us Rockets now.

Verde: You don't have any right to rule America! You're what us Americans are against!

Grunt: (smirks) Hey, it's a free country.

• Verde tackles the Grunt and attacks him savagely. He does a surprising number on the armor until his wound acts up, and Ingrid pulls him to safety.*

Grunt: What a loser! Hiding behind a woman...

GORE: I think we've heard from you.

• GORE winds up his metallic fist and, as he charges power, five lightbulbs along his arm glow in succession until he finally unleashes the fist to send the Grunt reeling into a building across the street, which collapses on him.*

Yami Yoshi: Alright, during that needlessly long fight scene, I've concocted a plan.

Ihsay: Lay it on us.

Yami: We'll split into two groups- myself, Ihsay, Verde and Ingrid go after the Rockets, and in the meanwhile we'll send GORE, Kantii and SwordMaster to search for Fred's gang- you'll also be towing along our Plot Device-encased and stonified friends. Then we'll unite to go back to Europe and take care of the Therodik problem.

GORE: Sounds like a plan! Let's do it!

• The OGers all clear away immediately to find their preys. Saru floats up from Kantii's tunnel and examines the area.*

Saru: Where are those OGers?! I need that Plot Device...

• Saru coincidentally wanders down the same alleyway where the OGers were just engaged in their fight- and coincidentally at the same time that Chizu woke up and crawled out of the pile of wreckage. They stare blankly at each other for several seconds.*

Author: Yoshiyami

~Yami Yoshi, Ihsay, Verde, and Ingrid run out into the street as a battalion of tanks roll towards them.~

Yami Yoshi: Damnit, why were we assigned the dangerous job?!

Verde: Hey, you’re the one who split us up!

Yami Yoshi: I would never suggest such a thing! It was probably the author of the last post!

Verde: “Author”? “Post”?

Yami Yoshi: Well, you see, an auth—

~Yami Yoshi is interrupted by a shell explosion a few feet in front of him.~

Yami Yoshi: Yikes!

Ihsay: Well, seeing how arguing about nonsense like “authors” and posts” isn’t going to destroy these tanks, I suggest we concoct some sort of plan!

~Suddenly, several missiles fly up from behind the OGers and down onto the battalion of tanks.~

Yami Yoshi: Hey…maybe arguing DOES destroy them!

Ihsay: What was that?!

Voice: ~behind the OGers~ Yoshi! What the hell are you doin’?! Standin’ in the middle of a war zone doin’ NOTHIN'?!

~The OGers spin around and see a black Shy Guy with a smoking rocket launcher mounted on his shoulder. Behind him stands an army of Shy Guys.~

Yami Yoshi: Legion!

Author: Fred

(Hundreds of grey shy guys blend into the building surroundings in huge lines, edging towards the Municipal Fortress while securing buildingtops and vantage points)

Legion: This is the way it's supposed to be done.

Yami Yoshi: F'rizzle.

(Sergeant Shy Guy lands a helicopter beside them and walks out in a purple vest)

SSG: I hate these new prototype heavy combat suits, they're always such a gaudy color. It clashes with the red shoes and the mask.

Verde: It is plausible to use your men as a meat shield in a horribly violent raid on the fortress.

Legion: Mysteriously, my command instincts strongly urge me to follow this plan!

(Meanwhile, in the tower of nondescript evil and bacon burglaring Tuesdays)

Lupus: I have something to tell you about Queen. I'M A CLONE!

Fred: Sir, I impress upon you that you managed to spoil that within your first sentance, and such a crime is punishable by buttering IN YOUR EYES and name ONLY!

Lupus: Lithium Debater, you know what to do.

LD: AYE. Kids, if you didn't get that number, THIS LUPUS IS A CLONE! Write that down and call-

Snoop: Aw. Hellz. Naw. Dawg.

Lupus: Yes, you have become slower in the head. Unfortunately, the doctor said the only way to revive you was playing Cher backwards. It may have scarred your oral skillz 4 life, but you're back in black and I'll keep it that way.

Lithium Debater: Wait, if you're a clone, and Istanbul's drama exports per capita is more melony than YOU CAN HANDLE TO THE EXTREME, how long does Jim run for?

Lupus: YOU OBEY ME, BECAUSE I AM LUPUS.

Fred: When.

Lupus: NOT ME! I, owner of Greenland, and Leader of the Toe clan, have trained thousands of upstanding citizens into brutally powerful tone-deaf knee-amputee golfers from hell! I'm like shredder without the whole japanese thing.

Giant talking rat: Crap, I'm coming back when I get other mutated giant animals to fight my wars.

Lupus: That's twice he's escaped... Enough! Using this rocket made entirely of silk, we are going to destroy all of Tap water!

Snoop: You. Mean. The. World.

Lupus: NO SPEAKING IN MONOTONE BROKEN-UP SENTANCES! CHEESE RAY!

(Snoop is transformed into a Tom Jones plushie)

Fred: You're not Mr. Jenkins!

Lupus: Shut up, one step closer and I sware to Delaware I will ground the two of you for a month!

LD: But sah, you didn't even get the cheese ray in correction! What will the children think when you put that water pack on your back and go on an adventure that isn't as fun as your other title games?

Lupus: The real Lupus and the REEL world died a long time ago!

Fred: They were around in VGFMOG4! And that episode with Kramer Squared!

Lupus: No. You will follow my orders, for you have no choice. In fact, I send Yahtzee Dubloons and Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV with you so you CAN'T fail me this time!

Yahtzee Dubloons: Shee? Because Zionist Slogans are what's fore dinner.

Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV: My name will never be long SHUT UP

Lupus: Bwhaahahaa!

Yahtzee Dubloons: Muahaha!

Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV: Eeeheheheee!

Fred: Har Ah har tee tar

Lupus: Why are you laughing?

Lithium Debater: All the Nickelback Tomboys were doing that dance? NRAHARBLAHR

Lupus: THEN DOWN THE JEFFERIES CHUTE YOU GO

Lighthouse Monocle Blashemy IIV: WE HAVE ONE? I SIMPLY MUST SEE IT IT'S SUCH A DEAR

(Yeah, they're dispatched. FOREVER)

(Meanwhile, back at the ranch)

Clunt Westamber: THEY'VE GOT MORE STUFF.

(Meanwhile, back with SM, GORE, and Kantii)

GORE: I say, sir, that this rocket heading our way is comprised of 45% donkey batter, 2000% frivolous vengance, and 0.(-345)% Frenchness.

Kantii: Be of taking those glasses off, you're not being of the Smart one!

SM: Gore, could you do us a teensy favor?

GORE: Now? Okay, what?

SM: Well, it's kind of blunt to ask this, but, sacrifice yourself for the greater good. Do it.

GORE: We can throw Kantii, AaronGuy never posts anymore.

SM: Well, it's up to the next poster. How far away is the missle?

GORE: According to my radar, it's (CENSORED) Kilometers away.

SM: Kilometers? We're in America, and you measure by Kilometers?

GORE: They're better, and the computer parts of me couldn't help but do it. You know. YOU KNOW.

SM: Wait, if it's a missle, isn't it fast?

GORE: Yeah.

SM: If we know it's coming, it couldn't have been that far away, right?

Saru: Ha! Now I've got you!

Kantii: Could you instead shoot down that missle with your fire powers? It'd be appreciated. Never mind, next poster.

Saru: Wait, you can see it? How close is it?

Author: AaronGuy

Kantii: With my keen crow eyes, I can see that it's OHGOD

Rocket: Sup. *clearly visible on the horizon*

Saru: Take this! *shoots a trail of fire at the missile*

Rocket: Oh snap. *explodes*

GORE: Whew, that was a close one...

Saru: You can thank me, later...

Chizu: Hey! Guys, wait up!

SM: Chizu? Where've you been?

Chizu: You guys ditched me!

SM: Oh, sorry... Yami didn't mention you when he divided us up.

Chizu: That's okay... So, I'll help you guys look for Fred and the others.

GORE: Great idea! Here, catch!

Chizu: Catch wha-OOF *collapses under the weight of the AaronGuy statue*

Kantii: Now then, where could Fred be?

GORE: Beats me. Knowing him, he could be anywhere...