Story:The Loophole 3

Stories in The Loophole series

Loophole - Loophole 2 - Loophole 3 - Loophole 4

Case 1: Senor Abbots!

Author: Director

The Director presents one of the cases for the Loophole 3.....

Senor Abbots SPOG!

You're down on your luck
Give up now
Watcha gonna do
WHEN YOU'RE dough
runs
outttttt

LIFE IS A DRAG!!!!!!!!

Judge Belmont: I find the defendant-

*Abbots bursts in*

Abbots: THSI MAN IS MUCHO GUILTY!

Belmont: No, arrest him.

*Guards arrest Senor Abbots.*

OoC: HOLD IT! abbots is always carted off to jail...... lets follow him there.. WAIT, lets follow him for this whole SPOG, identify the inner Abbots.

Abbots: Let me go, I AM A PROSECUTER ESE!

Policeman: Yeah yeah, save it for your cellmate.

*The policeman tosses Abbots in the jail room*

Abbots: AYE CARUMBA!

???: Hey there amigo *snicker*

Abbots: and who are you.

???: *The man comes out of the shadows* ITS ME

Abbots: who?

???: Your brother, Enchilado.

Abbots: Sh*t.

Author: Retro

Abbots: GUARD, I HAVE THE PLAGUE!

Guard: Yikes, again!? Now your cell mate's probably going to catch it too, you guys need to leave pronto.

Enchilado: What was that all about?

Abbots: WORKS EVERY TIME I TELL YOU, OR MY NAME ISN'T-

Guard: No, now get out.

Abbots: AYE CARUMBA?

Enchilado: Come on Abbots, we're going to start our new life as a ruthless pair of Prosecutors, comprendé?

Abbots: I WANT TO MUCHO DEFEND.

Enchilado: No, Prosecute.

Abbots: Mmkay.

(Later)

Enchilado: How should we go about becoming Prosecutors? We're too cheap for school.

Abbots: ASK THE MUCHO CHIEF PROSECUTOR.

Enchilado: No...oh wait, yes. That could actually work.

Abbots: ABBOTS IS MAKING MUCHO DIFFERENCE!

Enchilado: No, now get a cab.

Author; Wariofan

*Senor Abbots bursts into the Chief Prosecutor's office*

Abbots: I want to be a Prosecutor!

Chief Prosecutor: No, arre-I mean, woah who are you?

Abbots: Me llamo Senor Abbots and this is mi hermano, Enchilado.

Enchilado: Si, we want to prosecute.

Chief Prosecutor: What makes you think you can barge in here and ask for Prosecutor Licenses??

Enchilado: *pulling out a gun* Because if you don't you say hello to my little friend here.

Chief Prosecutor: Who? I don't see anyone else here besides you two.

Enchilado: I meant my gun idiota!

Chief Prosecutor: Ah yes yes! Here you are gentlemen! Prosecutor licenses.

Abbots: Yay! *does the Hat Dance*

Enchilado: Excelente!

*Enchilado fires his gun except it doesn't hit the Chief Prosecutor, it pulls to his left, goes through the window, into the next building, hitting its target.*

The Mayor: JESUS CHRIST IVE BEEN SHOT!

Chief Prosecutor: I saw that! I also double as Chief of Police and you're under arrest for killing The Mayor!

The Mayor: IM NOT DEAD!

Chief of Police: Then you're under arrest for attempted assassination.

*Enchilado just stands there and accepts the handcuffs, saying nothing in his defense*

Chief of Policecutor: Oh by the way, YOU will be the prosecutor for this case.

Abbots: Me?

Chief: Yes, you will prove to the court that this man tried to assassinate the mayor

*Senor Abbots bursts into tears*

Abbots: I don't want to prosecute!

Chief: Too bad. Put him in court.

*Policeman take Abbots to the courthouse*

Author: Director

*Abbots arrives at the courthouse to find it is no ordinary courthouse..... but an old west ghost town themed courthouse?!?!*

Abbots: Aye Carumba, this place fits my style!

*A man emerges from a saloon with a defense bench next to it, he sits down.*

???: Looks like y'all are my competition.......

Abbots: Si........ WHO ARE YOU?

???: Some call me Lone Star...... some call me The lone gunman..... but I am lone now matter what.

Abbots: I see....... so where is the judge?

*A judge emerges from a mine shaft on top of a mountain behind the town. Abbots has to squint to see him.*

Abbots: THATS the judge? Mi amigo, I don't know about this.....

*Pepito barges in*

Pepito: YOU CAN DO IT SENOR!

Lone: No, tie him to the water tower.

*The sheriff hogties Pepito then ties him to the water tower.*

Abbots: AYE CARUMBA, I'LL SAVE YOU LITTLE AMIGO!

Lone: I doubt it.

Billy the Judge: Lets get the trial of Enchilado Abbots going.

Lone: I say we need a gundown to solve this. I win, Enchilado goes free..... you win he goes to jail.

Abbots: I'll throw the match then!

Lone: I think not, if I win MY little amigo, Bandito will shoot PEPITO!

Abbots: Aye carumba....... If I win?

Lone: Pepito goes free, but Enchilado goes to jail. Possibly death row.

Abbots: *gulp*

Author: Golem

Billy the Judge: Alright! The match starts... now!

~Abbots and Lone face off, neither making a move.~

Pepito: Boss! Joo can do this! You can't let Enchilado get away!

Abbots: ~keeping his eye on Lone~ But Pepito, he is mi hermano!!

Pepito: Listen to this!

~Pepito, despite being tied up, manages to grab a tape recorder and drop it through the ropes. The sheriff walks over, picks it up, and plays it. Everyone's attention is on the sheriff now. The tape is silent.

Lone falls back as a bullet gets lodged in his good shooting arm.~

Abbots: ~putting down gun~ I win!

Lone: But... the evidence!

Abbots: I had all the evidence I needed. Mi hermano is scum for using me to protect his own ambition to kill the mayor.

Enchilado: Que?!

Abbots: Joo heard me. Joo shot the mayor and expected me to defend you. Well, I don't defend criminals OR people who try to use me. I don't approve of the method I used to become a prosecutor, but if it means locking up a criminal and a traitor to family like joo, then I'll do it.

Author: Wariofan

Enchilado: Maybe it is YOU who is the traitor?

Abbots: *kneels down, glares at Enchilado, a single tear sheds* No. *Abbots stands up, turns around and boldy says* Arrest Him.

Author: Golem

THE END

~Later~

Abbots: Thanks for adding to my brotherly love distraction. What was on the tape, anyway?

Pepito: I think it was Enchilado snoring.

Case 2: Corruption

Written by Retro Belmont

Post 1

"My name is Wayne Shoeleft, Attorney at Law. For about two years now I've been defending the innocent as your typical mild mannered defense attorney.

Oh, did you catch that? That was sarcasm. My job is anything but that of a typical defense attorney. In fact, I seem to have created a name for myself by doing quite the opposite of what most lawyers do. Instead of the traditional "present evidence" tactic, I just beat the living crap out of the prosecution in order to get a "Not Guilty" verdict. Call it what you will, but no matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to stop. It's as if God wants me to keep using "The Loophole"..."

[December 20th - 1:30 AM - Wayne Shoeleft's House]

Wayne: (*YAWN* I can't believe it, Insomnia again!? I really have to stop putting caffeine into my system this late at night...Oh hey, it's really starting to snow now.)

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Wayne: Huh!? (Is someone knocking at my door?)

(Wayne quickly rushes downstairs and looks out his front door's peephole, but can't see anything. He leans his head towards the door in hopes of hearing any other voices. After all, it might be a bunch of robbers.)

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

(Whoever was at the door was knocking so hard that it forced Wayne to hold his ear in pain, he finally mustered up enough courage to open the door. Standing in his dim lighted doorway was a man in a shaggy gray dress suit. He had a 5 o'clock shadow and and a loose blue tie, which was stained with what appears to be coffee.)

Wayne: H-Hello?

(The man reaches into his coat and pulls out a 45m pistol and aims it right between Wayne's eyes. Wayne froze up and backed away, but the man walked in after him, still holding the gun.)

Man: You are Wayne Shoeleft, the Lawyer?

Wayne: Y-Yeah, I am...who are you?

(The man scratched his chin for a second with his free hand and asked another question instead.)

Man: Got any coffee?

Wayne: (Coffee? Is this guy gonna rob me or what!?) Y-yeah, come into the kitchen.

Man: DON'T move a muscle until I tell you to, understand? You weren't going to try and call the cops now were you?

Wayne: C-Cops? As in the T.V. show? No, never saw it, heh heh...(Nice, Shoeleft.)

Man: "Call the T.V. show"? Geez, do I make you THAT nervous?

Wayne: (Should I be honest with this guy? Strike that, ANY man with a gun?) Uh, yes?

Man: Hmm, yeah I suppose that makes sense.

Wayne: (Yes, I suppose it DOES.) So, want me to get the coffee or what?

(The man quickly sidestepped over to the side window, not facing his back towards Wayne and looked out the window.)

Man: Yeah! Two cream, three sugars please.

Wayne: (What's with the politeness all of a sudden?)

(Wayne brewed up some coffee and poured some for him too, after all, it didn't look like he was going to sleep tonight anyways. The man already took a seat, still pointing his gun at Wayne. He then sat down across from him and passed him his coffee. A couple of minutes passed before the man spoke again.)

Man: I hear you're the best defense lawyer in the area.

Wayne: (This is weird, if he just wanted to rob me, why bother asking for my name?) Why, you want me for a case?

Man: Eh, not really, just making small talk.

Wayne: ...

Man: Oh come on, you didn't find that just a LITTLE funny?

Wayne: Who are you?

(The man put his gun back into his coat and took a quick sip of coffee.)

Man: My name...is Bruce.

Wayne: Bruce!? (Can it be...?)

Bruce: Yes, Bruce...Shoeleft.

Wayne: WHAT!? Y-you mean my brother, Bruce!?

Bruce: That's right.

Wayne: (He dissapeared almost 10 years ago. Come to think of it, it was this day, the 20th, that he dissapeared.) I remember now, you suddenly vanished without a trace, mom and dad were devastated...

Bruce: *Sigh* I think you're giving them too much credit.

Wayne: Where have you been all this time!?

(Bruce scratched the back of his head for a moment and looked back at Wayne.)

Bruce: Oh you know, AROUND.

Wayne: ...

Bruce: But anyways, I know you're thinking it, so just come out and ask why.

Wayne: Alright then, so then just WHY DID YOU PULL A GUN OUT ON ME!?

Bruce: Haha, there you go! Well for one thing, I wanted to make sure it was you without a ruckus. For a second there, I thought I messed up the directions to your house using the ones that I got from Map Quest.

Wayne: ...

Bruce: Also I didn't think you would believe me if I said I was your brother, but I guess you really were that Gullible! Har har!

Wayne: ... (No, I just didn't want to argue with a man who had a loaded gun in his possession. But still, I can tell it's him, just by his personality. It may have been 10 years, but I can't forget someone like my brother.)

Wayne: So anyway-

Bruce: Wait, there's another reason.

Wayne: Huh? (Another reason?)

Bruce: The Police are after me.

Wayne: THE PO-LEECE!? (That means Dad is...)

Bruce: Our father, Edgar Shoeleft, is personally leading the investigation.

Wayne: URK! (But why would he...?)

Bruce: And no, I don't know why he would.

Wayne: (Why am I getting the impression he's hiding something!?)

Wayne: So, you came here to hide then?

Bruce: Bingo.

Wayne: Bruce, I know you're smarter than this. Dad is bound to check this place sooner if not later.

Bruce: Don't worry, I'd have to be good at hiding if I've evaded the Police this long! Haha!

Wayne: This long!? (Just how long has he been running away?)

Bruce: So anyways Wayne, got any clean clothes for a filthy hobo to change into?

Wayne: Yeah, check my upstairs closet. I'm pretty sure we're the same size, we always were.

Bruce: Hah, so true!

(Bruce runs upstairs and spots Wayne's room, then quickly runs back to the bathroom with a handful of clothes in his hand. Wayne can hear the shower turn on, so he finally decides to relax on his couch. It wasn't long at all until he fell asleep.)

Post 2

[December 20th - 7:14 AM - Wayne Shoeleft's House.]

(Wayne wakes up to the smell of breakfast in the kitchen, so he gets up and walks into the kitchen and takes a seat in the same chair that he sat in last night. Bruce was sitting across from him, his face covered in this newspaper, scanning all the articles. His COMPLETE BREAKFAST sat there untouched next to him.)

Wayne: Morning.

(Bruce didn't put the paper down, but still answered.)

Bruce: You have work today? You should eat something.

Wayne: Yeah, later maybe. What about you, doing something today?

Bruce: I can't do much besides sit here and hope Dad doesn't burst through that door before I'm finished reading. Which reminds me, he hasn't called you in a while has he?

Wayne: No, he hasn't actually. (I haven't even spoken to him since his trial.)

Bruce: I read about the time you defended him, you really beat down that Chad Bootright character, heh.

Wayne: Well, I can't take all the credit, Dr. Walr-

Bruce: Tell me in your honest opinion Wayne, did you think Dad was Guilty or not?

Wayne: Well, I didn't think he murdered that...guy.

Bruce: Reginald Vines.

Wayne: Right, that guy.

(Wayne helped himself to some breakfast while Bruce read on. About 20 minutes passed when Wayne finally finished eating and Bruce spoke out again.)

Bruce: It's getting late, you better get to work.

Wayne: Yeah, I suppose so. If I come home and see the place surrounded in cops, that's a sign you're in trouble right?

Bruce: Nothing gets past you, eh Wayne?

Wayne: ...Right, I'll see you later.

[December 20th - 8:28 AM - Shoeleft and Co. Law Offices]

Wayne: (I'm actually on time for work today, that's a first.)

(Wayne walks right past his secretary and into his office, then slams the door, giving her a hint that he should not be disturbed (again) today. After shoving all of his paperwork out of the window and onto a group of Nuns in the street below, Wayne gets comfortable in his seat and tries to fall asleep, but barely shuts his eyes when the door flies open. An older looking man with a mustache, a combed back haircut and glasses barged in. He was holding a briefcase in one hand and an umbrella in another. He walked up to Wayne and put his belongings on the floor, then extended his hand for Wayne to shake.)

Dresch: Kelvin Dresch, pleased to meet you.

Wayne: (Shaking hand) Um, Wayne Shoeleft, attorney at law. I assume you have a reason for seeing me today without first setting up an appointment?

Dresch: (Pressing his glasses to his head) Of course my good sir, I heard you were one of the best defense attorneys around.

Wayne: Right...(Should I really be THIS well known?) So, you have a proposition for a case?

Dresch: Indeed I do my good sir! I've been suspected of murder you see.

Wayne: I...see. And the victim?

Dresch: A man named Virgil McCoy, my friend who was on the Police Force. I was the last to see him before he was murdered, and pieces of his clothing were found at my house with his blood on them! But Mr. Shoeleft, you've got to believe me, I'm no killer, I take precautions so that I don't kill people!

Wayne: HMM, NO PSYCHE LOCKS, OK YOU CHECK OUT. Anyways, do you have any idea as to why pieces of McCoy's clothing were found at your house?

Dresch: (Starts shaking Wayne) It's all part of a sinister plot to bring my reputation crashing to the ground! Someone's framed me for murder, but I don't have any enemies, it doesn't make sense!

Wayne: (Brushing himself off) Well, I suppose you better tell me everything (And I mean EVERYTHING) in detail before we get started, alright?

Dresch: Ok, ok. Well, what happened was:

(It was late at night on December 16th, I walked Virgil home after we hit the bar. There was really nothing out of the ordinary on our walk home, he barely even talked. When we got to his house, I opened the door for him and he went inside, that's it.)

Wayne: That's...it? How did he die? What was he killed with? When was he found?

Dresch: Hmmm. The Police confirmed that he was killed by strangulation, and the marks on his throat seemed to match my hands. As for when he was found, I think his maid or whatever found him dead on his couch the next morning when she came in.

Wayne: When did you hear about it?

Dresch: When I was arrested, good sir.

Wayne: Well then, what about fingerprints?

Dresch: Absolutely none, except for on his doorknob, which I used to open his...well, door.

Wayne: Don't worry, I'll find some way to prove you're innocent!

Dresch: Hey, are you going to use your fisticuff axiom?

Wayne: ...What!?

Dresch: You know...that thing you always do, when you beat people up for Justice!

Wayne: (Oh...the Loophole.) If it must be, then fight I will!

Dresch: See you in court then, Mr. Shoeleft.