Difference between revisions of "LaAoM Series 1"
m (→Lupus) |
m (→Inferno Dragon) |
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| Line 4,249: | Line 4,249: | ||
Cell: pathetic, you don't deserve to live. | Cell: pathetic, you don't deserve to live. | ||
| − | Bowser got up and his eyes were glowing white. in a flash of blinding light he was biger, had demon-like horns, green spikes replacing the shell, spikes at the end of his longer tail, sharper claws, and more mennacing eyes. | + | Bowser got up and his eyes were glowing white. in a flash of blinding light he was biger, had demon-like horns, green spikes replacing the shell, spikes at the end of his longer tail, sharper claws, and more mennacing eyes. <br> |
| − | |||
he had transformed into Giga Bowser!!! | he had transformed into Giga Bowser!!! | ||
| Line 4,257: | Line 4,256: | ||
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ||
| − | Miyamoto: I got a portable version of the machine that should work now. Mario, did you restore Peach? | + | Miyamoto: I got a portable version of the machine that should work now. Mario, did you restore Peach?<br> |
| − | + | Mario: of corse-a.<br> | |
| − | Mario: of corse-a. | ||
| − | |||
Miyamoto: good, lets try this again. | Miyamoto: good, lets try this again. | ||
| Line 4,271: | Line 4,268: | ||
here's a very breif discription of each for future refference. | here's a very breif discription of each for future refference. | ||
| − | Giga Mario= super saiyan, wearing his uniform from the origional dokey kong. | + | Giga Mario= super saiyan, wearing his uniform from the origional dokey kong.<br> |
| − | + | Giga Luigi= spikey black hair, red outfit.<br> | |
| − | Giga Luigi= spikey black hair, red outfit. | + | Giga Peach= red hair, white dress, and purple streaks under her eyes.<br> |
| − | + | Giga Samus= spiked, golden armor with a tall spike sticking from the middle of the helmet and a red visor.<br> | |
| − | Giga Peach= red hair, white dress, and purple streaks under her eyes. | + | Giga Link= Oni link <br> |
| − | + | Giga Zelda= Sheik in a gold outfit and bigger muscles.<br> | |
| − | Giga Samus= spiked, golden armor with a tall spike sticking from the middle of the helmet and a red visor. | + | Giga Gannondorf= Gannon<br> |
| − | + | Giga Mewtwo= black tail, red eyes, and a spike growing from his forehead.<br> | |
| − | Giga Link= Oni link | ||
| − | |||
| − | Giga Zelda= Sheik in a gold outfit and bigger muscles. | ||
| − | |||
| − | Giga Gannondorf= Gannon | ||
| − | |||
| − | Giga Mewtwo= black tail, red eyes, and a spike growing from his forehead. | ||
| − | |||
Giga Yoshi= looks like a red dragon. | Giga Yoshi= looks like a red dragon. | ||
Miyamoto: that's enough of you for now, I'll get the rest later. the next match is starting and Goku is up. | Miyamoto: that's enough of you for now, I'll get the rest later. the next match is starting and Goku is up. | ||
| − | next fight... | + | next fight...<br> |
| − | |||
Giga Mario Vs. Goku | Giga Mario Vs. Goku | ||
Revision as of 02:37, 10 April 2007
Ran from December 06, 2001 to January 29, 2002.
It gets better, I promise.
| Series in The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto |
| 1 - 2 - 3 - Dr. Wily - Lemony Fresh 1 - Lemony Fresh 2 |
Mario500
This will be the ongoing story of Shigeru Miyamoto's daily life, with many twists and turns.
(Our story begins at Nintendo Co. Ltd. Shigeru is on his way to work until a strange man stops him near by.)
???: Hey Shiggy, how are the new games for Gamecube doing?
Miyamoto: Sorry, can't tell you. The game plans are compleatly top secret.
???: Oh come on Shiggy, tell your best friend about the games.
Miyamoto: I don't even know you, so leave now.
(Shigeru enters the Nintendo building)
???: You'll be sorry, Shigeru Miyamoto!!!!!!!
To be continued...
Lupus
Shiggy enters the building, walks down a few corridors to the offices, and enters one.
Shiggy: So, how's work on Super Ultra Dooper Mario Bloodshed Gun Bang Bang Violence Sex Sex Sex Pornographic Gut Eating Blood Sucking Vampire NC-17 going, Guy?
Guy: Actually we changed it to Super Mario Sunshine.
Shiggy: SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE?? But this game is supposed to be the ultimate creation of Nintendo! And we can't have it with such a woosy name as Super Mario Sunshine!
Guy: Sorry, but the fact is that Super Ultra Dooper Mario Bloodshed Gun Bang Bang Violence Sex Sex Sex Pornographic Gut Eating Blood Sucking Vampire NC-17 wouldn't fit on the box. We had to shorten it. And anyway, look on the bright side... uh... whoops, there is no bright side.
Shiggy: Darn!
Shiggy steps out and walks down the corridor, coming to another office. he peeks in.
Shiggy: So, how's work coming on Gario, Guigi and their rivals Pario and Parguigi going, Worker?
Worker: Bad. I can't get an original idea for Gario's moustache, and Parguigi's laugh sounds just like every other evil character's.
Shiggy: Hmm..
Worker leans closer.
Worker: Truth is, we just mixed Waluigi's, Bowser's and Wario's together. But they won't know that.
Shiggy nods and walks over to another office. he looks in to see two people working on plots.
Shiggy: How's the plot going for the new game?
Dude: Perfect. Here, listen to this. One day, Princess Peach is kidnapped, right, by Bowser. Then Mario gos to rescue her. We've decided to leave Luigi out for reasons they we cannot explain (basically because we have no reasons). Anyway, Mario travels through a few cliched worlds, and faces Bowser. And then Mario defeats Bowser and rescues the Princess. Perfect, huh?
Shiggy: Nice and original, that's how I like it. keep up the good work.
Shiggy leaves, and then heads towards his own office, ready to do some work.
Kolorado
Shigeru relaxes until he realizes somthing.
Shigeru: Time for another audition!!
He types up a message and a minute later every Anime and Game charitor under the sun lines up outside his office.
Shigeru: Fist person in!
Meowth: That's me!
Shigeru: A Pokémon!?
Meowth: Ya we all heard, you've got like all of them outside your office.
Shigeru: Hmmmm ALL POKéMON AND THEIR TRAINERS ARE EXCEPTED!!
Pokémon: YAY!!
They all leave, leaving him with the weirdo's.
Shigeru: Next!
The most popular 7 bad guys walk/roll in.
Koopalings: Hi Shigeru!
Shigeru: THE KOOPALINGS!?
Larry: Well everyone that was drawn under the sun came here. And so we came too.
Ludwig: And you haven't used us in a game for ages!
Iggy and Lemmy: Yeah!
Wendy: My beauty wasted!
Roy: Your beauty what about my power!?
Morton: We have a million reasons why.
Shigeru: Hmmm we need some badguys.... You are actually hired!!
Koopalings: ....YAY!!!
3 hours later.....
Shigeru: *groans* Next....
A strange looking girl walks in.
Shigeru: Name...?
???: Misty Briefs.
Shigeru: ...... OH MY GOD!!!
Misty: Relax I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna FIGHT!!
Shigeru: A-are you as bad as your father?
Misty: No. I am like 10 times nicer.
Shigeru: Well since this is a new game... you're hired!
Misty: Yeah!!
Mario 500
(The strange man comes near Miyamoto's office)
???: Shigeru is going to pay for not letting me see Nintendo's new games.
(Leaves a small package near the office)
???: Ah ha, that you take care of him!
Miyamoto: Ahh, I wonder who left me this gift.
(Miyamoto opens it and it turns out to be a strange vortex.)
Miyamoto: What the...
(The vortex sucks up everything in sight.)
Meowth: Help!!! I came for an audition, not to get sucked into something!
All Koopalings: Help!!!
(Everyone, including the whold building gets sucked in, except Miyamoto and the strange man)
???: Now you'll never stop me, ahahaahahah!
Miyamoto: This is inhuman! Who are you?
Willy Higinbotham: I am, Willy Higinbotham! Now my plan to take over all video game companies and prove that I'm the true inventor of video games.
(Willy get sucked down vortex.)
To be continued...
Bodacious
Miyamoto starts to get sucked into the vortex but just before he gets sucked in Hiroshi Yamauchi grabs him and shuts the package.
Miyamoto: Oh man,thanks Yamauchi I almost got sucked into some kind of alternate dimension there.
Yamauchi: I didn't come here to chit chat sonny. I've made an official business decision.
Miyamoto(thinking to himself): Oh ****, I might have been better off in the vortex.
Yamauchi: I've decided to recall all of the gamecubes and change them into cartridge format.
*Miyamoto's jaw drops*
Yamauchi: Of course changing all the games into cartridge format will take some time, so we probably won't be able to re-release the gamecube until late 2004.
*Miyamoto's eyes start to water*
Yamauchi: Being in cartridge format we'll lose all our third party support, as if they mattered.
*Miyamoto falls down and starts going into convulsions*
Suddenly the package opens back up and a hand grabs Miyamoto and pulls him into the vortex.
Miyamoto wakes up an hour later chained up to metal table. Willy Higinbotham walks up to Miyamoto.
Willy: Well well, look who decided to wake up and join the party.
Miyamoto: Do you expect me to talk?!
Willy: Huh, what are you talking about?
Miyamoto: I don't know.
Willy: I've had enough of your silliness, Miyamoto. I wan't to introduce you to my creation.
Miyamoto: What did you attach ROB to a toaster again?
Then an evil looking version of Miyamoto with a w on his tie walks in.
????: Nice to meet you Miyamoto, I AM WIYAMOTO!!!
To be continued...
Lupus
Miyamoto: Hey! You copied my name! or was it just a coincidence that he looks and sounds exactly like me?
Willy: You fool! This bot has the power to take over the world, just like my other bot, Alama Bin Largeden!
Miyamoto: Who?
Willy: Nevermind! Goodbye, Mr. Miyamoto! *sets laser so it goes slowly between his legs*
Miyamoto: Noooooooo!!!!
*Wakes up. He'd fallen asleep at his desk*
Miyamoto: Oh, it was just a dream!
*Someone rushes in. It's Mario.*
Mario: Mama mia! We have-a two bosses-a!
Miyamoto: What do you mean, two bosses?
*Wiyamoto walks into the room*
Wiyamoto: Well, good evening, Mr. Miyamoto!
Miyamoto: Get out of my office, now!
Wiyamoto: I am setting up my own game company, called Win-Ten-Dough. It will your death in the gaming industry!
Miyamoto: How do you intend to survive without a character as charming and loyal as Mario?
Wiyamoto: I have created the ultimate character! Wario!
Miyamoto: That's already been done.
Wiyamoto: *softly* Really? Oh well *back to screaming* I shall call him Wiyario!
Miyamoto: Oh no! Do you have any idea on what you've done?
Wiyamoto: Nothing yet. But soon! I shall rule the world with my characters by my side! Wiyario, Woshi, Wowser, Wink, Welda, Woad! Plus, many many more! Wha ha ha ha ha ha!!
Miyamoto: What's your obsession with "W"?
Wiyamoto: Faulty wire.
Miyamoto: Oh. Willy musn't be a very good engineer.
Wiyamoto: You can say that again.
Bodacious
Miyamoto: Willy musn't be a very good engineer.
Wiyamoto: That was a figure of speech M-PANTS! But I'll tell you what isn't a figure of speech, THIS GUN!
*Wiyamoto pulls out gun*
Just then Hiroshi Yamauchi walks in.
Yamauchi: What in the hell is going on in here.
Wiyamoto: Haha I'm going to capture you and force you to run the business side of my company.
*5 years later in the office on the 75th floor of the Wintendo builing*
Yamauchi: And that is the end of my 7 hour presentation of why we should wait 2 more years to release the Wamecube so that we can release the games in the over-expensive Super VHS format.
*Wiyamoto sticks his head out the window and pukes*
Wiyamoto: Don't you get it you retard?! Were finished. Over the past 5 years Nintendo Has already released the Gamecube2 and is already at work on the super secret project Ultra-Dolphin512. And because of lack of interference from YOU They own the market! Hell Nintendo owns the world, Stanley the bugman is now STANLEY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, the entire continent of Austrailia was used to make the NintendoWorld theme park, and all the Mcdonalds' in the world have been turned into Neglected Charachter Burgers. It's all over!
Yamauchi: But we still have money right?
Wiyamoto: WRONG! We spent all our money on this fancy building, and trying to make the Wamecube to YOUR approval.
Suddenly a mysterious figure walks into the room.
????: Heh heh heee... It's just as I planned.
The figure walks into the light revealing himself to be none other than... WILLY HIGINBOTHAM!!!
To be continued...
Lupus
Yamauchi: Just as you planned?
Wiyamoto: JUST AS YOU PLANNED???
Willy: Yes. I wanted you to bankrupt. Why? I do not know. I never will. I just thought it sounded good. But anyway, you're both fired. You'll be moving out of your offices tomorrow morning, and getting replaced by my two ultimate robots to date.
Wiyamoto: No! You cannot replace me, Robot 784 Project B Jesepococococol Version 2: Codename Wiyamoto! Who is this robot??
*Another robot walks into the room, covered in a cloak so no one could see his face*
Willy: Say hello to Robot 784 Project B Jesepococococol Version 3: Codename The Knight Who Says Ekky Ekky Ekky Fatang Fatang! *Another robot walks in.* Robot 784 Project B Jesepococococol Version 4: Codename Wats
*Will pulls off the cloaks, revealling a freaky guy, who's taller than everyone, and another who has really huge hair, just like Cats.*
Wats: How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
Wiyamoto: What you say??
Wats: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha!! Die! *shoots laser at Wiyamoto and Yamauchi. They both die.
Willy: You did well Knight. Now, we must do our ultimate goal! COMPLETE GAMING WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHA HA HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! First, we must create Wony, and Weena!
Wats: Ha ha ha ha!
Knight: Don't you think Weena has an unfortunate name?
Willy: I must change Sega's name somehow! Are you opposing my plans?
Knight: Uh, no, but-
Willy: Wats! Kill him!
Wats: Ha ha ha ha!
*Shoots beam at Knight, who dies*
Willy: Now, we must take over Sony! You walk in there! What do you say to them?
Wats: All your base are belong to us.
Willy: Good. Then we go to Sega and we get their president. What do you say?
Wats: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Willy: Great! Then, at the feast tonight, I will make an announcement to my other bots about world domination. When I introduce you, you say?
Wats: How are you gentlemen?
Willy: Perfect! I see my destiny layed out in front of me! Bwa ha ha ha!
Wats: Ha ha ha ha!
Bodacious
*That night at the feast*
WILLY: Attention robots!
WATS: All your base are belong to us!
WILLY: Not now, Wats.
WILLY: As you can all see I have the presidents of all the major video game companies chained to metal tables, including my old friend Wiyamoto.
ThePresidents: Let us go!
Wiyamoto: You'll never get away with this Willy Higinbotham!
WILLY: Oh, I'm soooo sorrry Wiyamoto, but I'm afraid I already have!
Robots: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
TheOtherPresidents: Let us go!
WILLY: I don't think so... NO! But what I will do is let you alll watch my vhs copy of the life and adventures of Miyamoto.
Willy pops the tape in the vcr, and the presidents couldn't be more confused, especially Wiyamoto. A gigantic screen comes down from the ceiling, showing the movie.
(Movie)???: Hey Shiggy, how are the new games for Gamecube doing?
(Movie)Miyamoto: Sorry, can't tell you. The game plans are compleatly top secret.
(Movie)???: Oh come on Shiggy, tell your...
Willy: It continues on like this for a while, let me fast forward it.
*Fast Forward*
(Movie)Tenchi Mario Jr: Ignores the OG.
(Movie)Mario500: I know you must be kidding. Somebody...
*Fast Forward*
(Movie)Guy: Dooper Mario Bloodshed Gun Bang Bang Violence Sex Sex...
*Fast Forward*
(Movie)Wiyamoto: Don't you get it you retard?!
Willy: Ok here comes the important part.
(Movie)Wiyamoto: Were finished. Over the past 5 years Nintendo Has already released the Gamecube2 and is already at work on the super secret project Ultra-Dolphin512. And because of lack of interference from YOU They own the market! Hell Nintendo owns the world, Stanley the bugman is now STANLEY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, the entire continent of Austrailia was used to make the NintendoWorld theme park, and all the Mcdonalds' in the world have been turned into Neglected Charachter Burgers. It's all over!
(Movie)Yamauchi: But we still have money right?
(Movie)Wiyamoto: WRONG! We spent all our money on this fancy building, and trying to make the Wamecube to YOUR approval.
(Movie)Suddenly a mysterious figure walks into the room.
(Movie)????: Heh heh heee... It's just as I planned.
(Movie)The figure walks into the light revealing himself to be none other than... WILLY HIGINBOTHAM!!!
*pause*
WILLY: Now the question you must all be asking yourselves right now is why would he do that? BE HIM MAD?!! Nay! Well here is your answer!
*WILLY takes off his mask revealing himself to be none other than Miyamoto!!! With an M!!!*
Wiyamoto: But.. but.. but.. you were pulled into the vortex!!! How!!!
Miyamoto: Actually that was just a dream I had.
Wiyamoto: HOLY ****!!! This is just like one of those surprise endings like Sixth Sense or Fight Club. for if you all remember after the dream sequence, Miyamoto and WILLY were not ever in the same place together, not even once!
TheOtherPresidents: HOLY ****!! THAT IS WEIRD!!!
Wiyamoto: So, it looks like you only created me to get Yamauchi out of your way so Nintendo could actually make good business decisions and ultimately rule the market! As a side effect leaving you as the supreme ruler of the Earth, but I'm sure that's a sacrifice your willing to make, isn't that right Miyamoto!!!
Miyamoto: Yes, and I'm sorry, but...
*turns on the laser*
Miyamoto: Your services will no longer be required!!!!
Robots: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!
To be continued...
Lupus
Miyamoto: Mwah ha ha ha ha ha! The gaming universe is mine! All mine!
????: Not yet, Miyamoto!
Miyamoto: What? Who are you?
????: I am... ????!
Miyamoto: So your name is ?????
????: No, just ????
Miyamoto: That's what I said. I had to put the question mark on the end. I was asking a question.
????: Oh, OK. ENOUGH BABLING! HAND OVER THE PRINCESS!
Miyamoto: What Princess?
????: Uh... this is the set for Shrek 2: ????'s Attack, correct?
Miyamoto: No. This is the set for The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto. Here, take a free DVD copy. It has groovy special features, like a Making Of, and a really cool trivia game!
????: Why thank you, and farewell.
Miyamoto: Now, where were we. Oh yes, I was laughing my head off. Wha ha hah hah ha! *looks around* Wha ha ha ha ha!! *looks around again, then checks his watch* Wha ha hah ha! *checks his watch again.* Darn, he's late.
Superman: Never fear, my brothers! I will defeat Miyamoto and free you all!
Miyamoto: Oh no! it's Superman! *whispers* You're late. *loud again* Wats, attack!
Wats: How are you gentlemen?
Superman: Kung pow! *chops Wat's head off with a karate chop*
Wats: Alllllll base belong... *fizz*
Miyamoto: You shall pay! Weach! Waisy! Walline! Go get him!
Weach: Superman, I have baked a cake for you. Please come to the castle.
Waisy: Thank you Superman. Oh Superman. *changes into random bug*
Walline: Help! Help!
Weach, Waisy and Walline attack Superman, but Superman destroys them all.
Miyamoto: I'm afraid you'll have to face my ultimate robots! Android 18! Android 17! Cell!
Cell: I must absorb Superman to become Perfect Cell!
Superman: Oh no!
TO BE CONTINUED
Bodacious
Superman: I will destroy all of you, because I am truly...
Superman pulls off his mask revealing himself to be an evil robot clone of Bill Cosby named...
Wozby: WOZBY!!! I am Miyamoto's ultimate creation, and you are the one who will be absorbed Cell!!! To make ME more powerful!!!
Cell: How could you betray us Miyamoto?!
Miyamoto: Very easy I'm afraid, you see I programmed you to be extra gullible.
Cell: But why would you do this to us? Your own creations!!!
Miyamoto: Well betrayel makes for a good storyline, and if this movie does well I'll be able to make a video game adaption. You see, if the movie and the game sell well then I'll have enough money to build a cosmic death ray, and with that Nintendo, which is run by me, will rule the world!!!
Miyamoto: Wozby... start sucking!!!
To be Continued...
Kolorado
Meanwhile at Nintendo HQ in the meeting room....
Misty: Miyamoto is a hour late, again!!
Ash: Maybe he is buying pizza again.
Meowth: Unlikly, since pizza is hard to come by in Japan, plus don't you remember what happened last time he brought us pizza?
Brock: Good point.
Jessie: I will not tolerate this! We are here to disscuss Paper Pokeball Z 2: Universal Quest.
James: Yeah! I have better things to do then wait around.
Pikachu: Hey! Maybe he's at Wintendo.
Togepi: If he is, lets go over there and make him get back here!
Everyone: YA!!!
Lupus
Miyamoto: Actually, let's not.
Ash: Huh? Miyamoto? Where did you come from.
Miyamoto: Well, actually I'm not meant to be here according to the script. But I just want to tell you to stay here. I'll be over as soon as I finish my evil Will Wozby plan!
Misty: Alright.
Miyamoto: Instant Transmition!
Brock: Uh... I think you've been watching too much Dragonball Z.
Miyamoto: Oh yeah. I'll just be going now.
Director: CUT CUT CUT! You stuffed it all up!
Miyamoto: Kameyameya!
*kills Director*
Miyamoto: Good.
**
Meanwhile...
Miyamoto: Hold on, this isn't meanwhile! I can't be in both places at once!
Director: Well, the people who are watching will think it's meanwhile.
Miyamoto: Didn't I kill you?
Director: No. I am Waul Wicartney. You killed the other Director, Wuybrush Weepwood, who was just standing in for me while I had a short coffee break.
Miyamoto: Ok *turns to people* Wozby! Start sucking!
Wozby: Right on! *absorbs Androids and Cell*
Miyamoto: Great. Now I'm late for my other appointment.
**
Later...
Miyamoto: I am FINALLY here to discuss plans over Paper Pokeball Z 2: Universal Quest. Now, we must create two new Pokemon so it'll sell millions, alright?
Togepi: Why only two?
Miyamoto: Because, stupid! Every time we create a new Pokemon game, we decrease the ammount of new Pokemon! Now, we must create those two new Pokemon. I have some great ideas. First of all, we make a Pokemon called Digimon. We just clone, I dunno, that cactus look alike from Digimon and call it our own. That'll really get the complaints rolling in!
Pikachu: Why'd you want complaints rolling in?
Miyamoto: Because the plot for this story would be better. Bare with me, alright. The second one is called Invisible. See, with this ingenious idea, we won't even have to make sprites! We'll just make it white! And it's attacks can be all "Invisible Ray" which does damage for no apparent reason. Ok...
James: Uh, but first, we'll have to give it a better name. All the other Pokemon are play on words. Hell, even me and Jessie's names are a play on Jesse James.
Miyamoto: Ok, we jitch the v. V is a crappy letter. And I like the sound of W (ha ha, who couldn't see that coming) So we call it Inwisible! Ta da! Profits, profits profits, here we come!
TO BE CONTINUED...
*Next time on The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto:*
Miyamoto: Shut that damn camera off, you imbecile!
*Stay tuned!*
FUNKY CREDIT THEME SONG, WITH LYRICS:
He was just a man
A man with a goal
A goal to make his own show
But then came a day
When he got his wish
And now there's this show which you knoww!!
The Life and Adventures
of Miyamoto
He has so much fun
Dissing the camera man and the
director
His story is real dumb!
The Life and Adventures
of Miyamoto
He bags people and creates clones
But when you see him
off Camera
he's got no friends and alone
Miyamoto is actually cooler than I say he is
But the Miyamoto portrayed in this show is just enough to diss
Miyamoto
is a genius
Because he knows how to do his work
But then again
He made Mario
A stupid overall-wearing dork
The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto!!!!
Bodacious
Miyamoto: Cut!!!
Waul Wcartney: Hey only I can yell cut, I'm the director.
Miyamoto: Shut that damn camera off, you imbecile!
Waul Wcartney: What?!
Miyamoto: Who the hell is responsible for that theme song?!!
Waul Wcartney: Oh you like it, that was written by my new girlfriend Wokko Wonno.
Miyamoto: NO I DON'T LIKE IT! WOZBY!!!
Wozby: Yes sir.
Miyamoto: Absorb this director now, and his little girlfriend too!
Wozby absorbs the both of them.
Miyamoto: Ok cut and print that's the movie. Send one million copies to the theatres around the world. Send one copy to that one developer that's Nintendo's Bitcch, what were they called again?! Oh yeah, Rare, and tell them to start production on the Life and adventures of Miyamoto video game.
Wozby: Yes sir.
Miyamoto: Now I must wait for the money to roll in so I can afford to build a cosmic death ray and finish my plan to take over the world. I better call the boss and tell him the news. Wesse, Wames get in here.
Team Wocket: Yes sir.
Miyamoto: turn on the interdimensional videophone.
Wesse: Uh before I do that sir can I get a quick name change, it just sounds so much like wussy.
Miyamoto: Silence girl! You will do as your told, just for that insolence I'm changing your name to ***** !!!
Wames: We've made contact sir.
The big screen comes down, and on it is a guy who looks remarkably like Dennis Hopper.
Miyamoto: Good evening president Koopa.
Koopa: Are you finished with the movie yet?
Miyamoto: Yes sir, all we have to do now is wait. When the money comes in, I will build the cosmic death ray and take over the planet. After that, I'll use the cosmic death ray to rip open the dimensional barier so that you can come through and take all the planet's resources.
Koopa: I hope for your sake this movie does better than the one where you filmed all the stuff that I did.
To be continued...
*Next time on The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto:*
Wozby: There was a malfuction when I absorbed Jim Carrey.
Miyamoto: What kind of malfunction?
Wozby: I am now...
Jozby: JOZBY!!!
*Stay Tuned!*
Kolorado
Meanwhile.....
Wisty: Miyamoto has gone insane....
Wikachu: You mean this whole "W" thing?
Wisty: Exactly....
Wsh: I know, now no one can pronouce my name!!
Wogepi: This is really stupid.... Lets just change our names back.
****: Good idea!
Wames: Yeah!!
15 minutes later.....
Misty: There now this is better.
Ash: You said it.
Miyamoto: YOU CHANGED YOUR NAMES!!!!
Jessie: No one would like us anymore with the whole "W" thing. Plus you can't fire us our video games are selling like crazy.
Misty: Ya. Same with the movies. Super Misty, Super Misty 2, Super Misty 3, and Paper Pokeball Z.
Miyamoto: Lets just work on Universal Quest now...
Everyone: OK!
Miyamoto: We need some good team members and good planets to visit..... Well?
Misty: We can go to Irk and get the Allmighty Tallest to join our team. Plus Everyone loves Invader ZIM.
Miyamoto: Good idea!!
Ash: Plus we can kill Digimon now. Because I got an idea!
Miyamoto: Lets hear it.
Misty: 1: We use their stupid catus thing. 2: Everyone complains. 3: We move in and distroy the fans and Digimon, plus their new season is just a ripoff of Pokemon!!
Miyamoto: I love the way you think!! And to think I started to use you guys for Super Smash Bros. Melee 2....
Lupus
Miyamoto: I love the way you think!! And to think I started to use you guys for Super Smash Bros. Melee 2.... Now, where's Wozby, my absorbing little friend?
Wozby: Uh, right here sir.
Miyamoto: Have you done what was asked and absorbed the cast of The Mask?
Wozby: Uh... There was a malfuction when I absorbed Jim Carrey.
Miyamoto: What kind of malfunction?
Wozby: I am now...
Jozby: JOZBY!!!
Miyamoto: You've gotta be kidding me!
Jozby: Sir, I am now Dumb and Dumber than I was before.
Miyamoto: Great.
Jozby: I'm gonna go out and absorb everyone now! SOMEBODY STOP ME!!
Miyamoto: Wait, is there a way to reverse the damage that was done?
Jozby: Yes, you must give me ten million dollars.
Miyamoto: OK *hands over the cash*
Jozby: *silently* La-hoo za-her.
Miyamoto: You say something? And why aren't you changing back?
Jozby: Actually, there is one more thing I must do to become Wozby again.
Miyamoto: Yes...
Jozby: I must absorb Wl Wore.
Miyamoto: Al Gore?
Jozby: No, Wl Wore.
Miyamoto: But I haven't created a clone of Al Gore yet!
Jozby: No, there is someone else. Someone out there who is building robots to match your own... his name is... Woctor Willy!
Miyamoto: No! Not my clone of Dr. Willy!
Jozby: I'm afraid so. Remember when Woctor Willy escaped and moved to Pakistan? Well he started his own robot company and started to build robots to fight them against your Wega Wan. Now he's building robots to kill you and take over the world! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!
Miyamoto: How do you know all this? And why did you just laugh stupidly?
Jozby: Can't you see?
Miyamoto: Oh no, not another disguise.
Jozby: Yes! I am Woctor Willy
Miyamoto: *gasp*
Jozby: Wait! You didn't let me finish my sentence. I am Woctor Willy's Servant!
Miyamoto: But I trusted you, Jozby!
Jozby: Trust can be- uh... wrong. Prepare to die, Miyamoto!
Miyamoto: Please! Have mercy!
Jozby: Evil Black Ray of Turkish Delight!
Miyamoto: What?
Jozby: Evil Black Ray of Turkish Delight. It's my move.
Miyamoto: Oh.
Jozby: Evil Black Ray of Turkish Delight! Evil Black Ray of Turkish Delight! Evil Black Ray of Turkish Delight!
Miyamoto: Argh!!! *dies*
Jozby: Wa ha ha ha ha ha! I have finally defeated my arch nemisis, Woctor Willy. Yes, that's right kids, I am... *takes off Bill Cozby/Jim Carey mask to reveal WW's Servent Mask, but takes that off to reveal...* Miyamoto!! Oh, I hear you ask, who was this person that I just killed? Well let's take a looky see!
*Takes off the Miyamoto on the ground's mask, revealing...*
Jozby/Miyamoto: The Circus Master Lucy Pines!
Scooby Doo: Woo woo!
Miyamoto: Where did you come from?
Scooby Doo: Whoops. I thought that was my cue. Sorry *leaves set*
Miyamoto: Bwa ha ha ha ha!!
*Next time, on the Life and Adventures...*
Miyamoto: No! Don't force the next person to post in this topic to say something! Leave them alone!
*Sorry, boss. Well, you'll just have to see.*
FUNKY CREDIT THEME SONG, WITH LYRICS:
He was just a man
A man with a-
Miyamoto: No! I told you to ditch that theme song didn't I? Geezus!
*Sorry, boss.*
PLEASE STAND BY WHILE THE MUSICIANS WRITES ANOTHER THEME SONG...
*Ok*
Miyamoto is so cool
Miyamoto's not a tool
Miyamoto is no fool
Miyamoto: Shut up! Geeze, just cut to black!
*OK* CLICK.
Bodacious
Koopa: No that's not a good idea!!!
Miyamoto: Oh **** I left the viewscreen on.
Koopa: Don't mess with the digimon, just sit there and wait for the money, then build the cosmic death ray, take over the planet, and rip a dimensional hole so I can take your planets resources.
Suddenly Wozby returns, but there is something different about him.
Miyamoto: Ah good, did you distribute the movies like I asked you to?
Wozby: Yeah but...
Miyamoto: But what?
Wozby: Well I though it would be a good idea to absorb more people to increase my power level.
Miyamoto: So?
Wozby: There was a malfuction when I absorbed Jim Carrey.
Miyamoto: What kind of malfunction?
Wozby: I am now...
Jozby: JOZBY!!!
Eddie Murphy: Wooh that's a big A$$!!!
Miyamoto: What are you doing here?!
Eddie Murphy: I'm gonna play Kazooie in the new Banjo Kazooie movie. Do you want to know what my catch phrase is gonna be?
Jozby: You know what it should be, ALLLLRIGHTY THENNNNNIIIII COULD GO FOR SOMETHING JELLO!!!
Everyone just stares at Jozby for a second.
Miyamoto: Please for the love of God don't ever do that again Jozby!
Jozby: What? You mean ALLLLRIGHTY THENNNNNIIIII COULD GO FOR SOMETHING JELLO!!!
Miyamoto: YES THAT! I BEG OF YOU STOP THAT DEVILRY!!!
Eddie Murphy: Wooh that's a big A$$!!!
Miyamoto: What?!
Eddie: That's Kazooie's catch phrase, now if you'll excuse me I need to practice. Wooh that's a big A$$!!!
Koopa: Ha Haaa, I'll tell you something. In the Life and adventures of Miyamoto anything can happen... AND USUALLY DOES!
Miyamoto: Sombody turn off the damn viewscreen!
To be continued...
*Next time on The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto:*
Miyamoto: Off to home depot, we have to buy parts for the cosmic deathray. Quick, where's the money?
George Bailey: I gave it to uncle Billy.
Miyamoto: Uncle Billy, you fool!!!
*Stay Tuned!*
Bodacious
Miyamoto pauses the movie.
Miyamoto: Well everybody you have seen the two scenes, one by the director Lupus the Turk, and the other by the director Bodacious. Now it's time for you to vote on which scene will be how the movie progresses, and which director shall be the weakest link.
Lupus
Bob: Excuse me, Miyamoto, you have no idea of what you have just said. Miyamoto: Yeah. I said-
Bob: I'm a lawyer. You've been sued by The Weakest Link for $34.57 and if you don't pay up now, you'll get bagged by that host person, whatever her name is.
Miyamoto: Woah, I'm scared.
Bob: *evil voice* You will be, Miyamoto. You will be.
Miyamoto: So what can I do about this misunderstanding then?
Bob: Well, we'll just say that both of the posts happened, in parallel universes. Then a vortex opened up and they got merged into one.
Miyamoto: Not a bad idea. OK, on the count of 3. 1, 2, 3...
**
Miyamoto: Somebody turn off the damn viewscreen!
Miyamoto: Bwa ha ha ha ha!!
Miyamoto: Eh?
Miyamoto: What are you doing here? You're me!
Miyamoto: I'm not you. I'm here, not there.
Miyamoto: Geeze, this is just one of those stupid scenes that are so cliched, right?
Miyamoto: Darn that Bob guy!
Miyamoto: I have an idea! Let's merge and continue on!
Miyamoto: Alright!
Miyamoto and Miyamoto: MERGE!!!!
*they merge, and appear in Nintendo HQ*
Miyamoto: Off to home depot, we have to buy parts for the cosmic deathray. Quick, where's the money?
George Bailey: I gave it to uncle Billy.
Miyamoto: Uncle Billy, you fool!!!
George Bailey: Uh, this scene makes no sense.
Miyamoto: None of this darn story makes sense. Get to work on your super Cologne!
*Wozby walks in, followed by Jozby*
Wozby: Uh, sir
Jozby: Uh, sir
Miyamoto: Aren't you the same person? What are you doing split?
Jozby: Because in Lupus's post, Wozby came back.
Wozby: While in Bodacious's post, Jozby still exists...
Wozby and Jozby: We think.
Miyamoto: CUT CUT CUT! We need a lawyer here. Let's sue Bob for every penny he's got!
Director Lupus: I have just the man for the job. Wesus Whrist!
Miyamoto: Ah, my Jesus Christ clone. Thank you for recovering him from the factory.
Wesus: You called?
**
Later that day, in a Court Room...
**
NEXT TIME ON L+A OF MIYAMOTO...
Bob: I accuse this man of being a cheater and a liar! He stole my computer!
Miyamoto: Wha?
Colonel Sanders: I don't give a kentucky fried crap whether or not he stole your computer. COURT ADJOURNED!!
STAY TUNED!!!!
Bodacious
Wesus: Ladies and gentlemen of the Jury, the issue here is not did my client Mr.Miyamoto commit the crime. The true issue here is, is Miyamoto a Black Man. And he is, he is a BLACK MAN! HE IS A BLACK MAN!!!
Colonel Sanders: Wesus.
Wesus: A BLACK
Colonel Sanders: Wesus!
Wesus: MAN!!!!!
Colonel Sanders: WESUS!!!
Wesus: What?
Colonel Sanders: This is a claims court not a criminal court.
Wesus: Sorry.
Bob: Your honor...
Colonel Sanders: What do you want?
Bob: I accuse this man of being a cheater and a liar! He stole my computer!
Miyamoto: Wha?
Colonel Sanders: I don't give a kentucky fried crap whether or not he stole your computer. COURT ADJOURNED!!
Wesus: Well what's the verdict?
Colonel Sanders: Miyamoto owes Bob 100 Billion dollars. Now give him the money.
Miyamoto: I don't have any cash with me.
Colonel Sanders: Then give him your credit card.
Miyamoto walks over and hands his credit card to a laughing Bob.
George Bailey: Now we'll never be able to build the cosmic death ray, boss.
Bob: But I will!
Bob rips off his mask revealing that he is truly Woctor Wily.
Woctor Wily: The only difference is, it will be I who rules the land, not you. And I will never let Koopa come into this dimension and tkae all the planets resources. HAHAHA I Win!!!
Miyamoto: No! This can't be! The movie can't end this way! It just can't!!!
Uncle Billy, Wozby, Jozby, and a crowd run into the courtroom. Uncle Billy dumps a basketful of money out onto the table –– the money overflows and falls all over.
UNCLE BILLY: Isn't it wonderful?
The rest of the crowd all greet Miyamoto with greetings and smiles. Each one comes forward with money. In their pockets, in shoe boxes, in coffee pots. Money pours onto the table –– pennies, dimes, quarters, dollar bills –– small money, but lots of it. Mrs. Bailey and Mrs. Hatch push toward Miyamoto. More people come in. The place becomes a bedlam. Shouts of "Gangway –– gangway" as a new bunch comes in and pours out its money. Wozby and Jozby stand next to Miyamoto, watching him. Miyamoto stands there overcome and speechless. As he sees the familiar faces, he gives them sick grins. Tears course down his face. His lips frame their names as he greets them.
UNCLE BILLY (emotionally at the breaking point): Wozby and Jozby did it, Miyamoto! Wozby and Jozby did it! They told a few people you were in trouble and they scattered all over town collecting money. They didn't ask any questions –– just said: "If Miyamoto is in trouble –– count on me." You never saw anything like it.
Tom comes in, digging in his purse as he comes.
TOM: What is this, Miyamoto? Another run on the bank?
Charlie adds his money to the pile.
CHARLIE: Here you are, Miyamoto. Merry Christmas.
Ernie is trying to get some system into the chaos.
ERNIE: The line forms on the right.
Mr. Martini comes in bearing a mixing bowl overflowing with cash.
ERNIE: Mr. Martini! Merry Christmas! Step right up here.
Martini dumps his money on the table.
MARTINI: I busted the juke-box*, too! [*editor's note: I feel compelled to point out that this word is pronounced "juke-a-box" in the film itself. To me, the movie would lose a little something without that charming, superfluous "a"!]
Mr. Gower enters with a large glass jar jammed full of notes.
ERNIE: Mr. Gower!
GOWER (to Miyamoto): I made the rounds of my charge accounts.
Violet Bick arrives, and takes out the money Miyamoto had given her for her trip to New York.
Miyamoto: Violet Bick!
VIOLET: I'm not going to go, Miyamoto. I changed my mind.
Annie, the colored maid, enters, digging money out of a long black stocking.
ANNIE: I've been saving this money for a divorce, if ever I get a husband.
Mr. Partridge, the high school principal, is the next donor.
PARTRIDGE: There you are, Miyamoto. I got the faculty all up out of bed.(hands his watch to Wesus) And here's something for you to play with.
MAN (giving money): I wouldn't have a roof over my head if it wasn't for you, Miyamoto.
Ernie is reading a telegram he has just received.
ERNIE: Just a minute. Quiet, everybody. Quiet –– quiet. Now, this is from London. (reading): Mr. Gower cables you need cash. Stop. My office instructed to advance you up to twenty-five thousand dollars. Stop. Hee-haw and Merry Christmas. Sam Wainwright. The crowd breaks into a cheer as Ernie drops the telegram on top of the pile of money on the table.
Jozby (calling out): Mr. Martini. How about some Jello?
As various Wats bring out a bowl full of Jello, Wozby sits down at the piano and strikes a chord. She starts playing "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing," and the entire crowd joins in the singing. We see a SERIES OF SHOTS of the various groups singing the hymn, and some people are still coming in and dropping their money on the table. Carter, the bank examiner, makes a donation. In the midst of this scene, Harry, in Naval uniform, enters, accompanied by Bert, the cop.
HARRY: Hello, Miyamoto, how are you?
Miyamot: Harry . . . Harry . . .
HARRY (as he sees the money): Jozby –– looks like I got here too late.
BERT: Jozby, I got him here from the airport as quickly as I could. The fool flew all the way up here in a blizzard.
Mrs. Bailey enters scene.
MRS. BAILEY: Harry, how about your banquet in New York?
HARRY: Oh, I left right in the middle of it as soon as I got Wozby and Jozby's telegram.
Ernie hands Harry a cup of Jello.
HARRY (cont'd): Good idea, Ernie. A toast . . . to my big brother, Miyamoto. The richest man in town!
Once more the crowd breaks into cheering and applause. Wozby at the piano and Bert on his accordion start playing "Auld Lang syne," and everyone joins in.
At this moment, perhaps because of the jostling of some of the people on the other side of the tree, a little silver bell on the Christmas tree swings to and fro with a silvery tinkle. Wesus points to the bell.
Wesus: Look, Miyamoto. Teacher says, every time a bell rings a cosmic death ray has been built.
All the singing and happiness suddenly stops. Everyone looks around to find Woctor Wily, but he is nowhere to be found.
Miyamoto: FUKK!!! While all this happiness was going on, Woctor Wily was busy using my credit card to buy cosmic death ray supplies from home depot. And now, he's finished building it.
The crowd then becomes angry and turns toward Colonel Sanders.
Ernie: It's all the judges fault. He awarded Woctor Wily the credit card, let's lynch him.
The crowd pulls out Colonel Sanders from behind his stand and beats him to death.
Miyamoto: Well, we better hurry to home depot so we can build our own cosmic death ray.
Right then Koopa walks in to the courtroom.
Koopa: That won't be neccesary.
Miyamoto: Koopa how did you get here?
Koopa: Well, I made my own movie called Crustaceous Playground, collected the profits, went to home depot to buy parts, and built my own cosmic death ray, and now I'm giving it to you.
Miyamoto: Oh no Koopa, you've worked hard for that cosmic death ray it belongs to you.
Koopa: Please, it's the least I can do. Without your planet's resources my planet would have been doomed, plus seeing everybody come to help you in your time of need has moved me. So now I too shall help you out.
Crowd cheers.
Miyamoto: I'm the king of the world.
Wesus: God bless us, every one.
Wanta: Merry Wristmas to all and to all a good night.
Eddie Murphy: Wooh that's a big A$$!!!
Wario: Until next time everybody...
Everyone: Do the Wario!!!
THE END
Lupus
*screeeeeeeech*
Miyamoto: Hold on! It's not supposed to end like that! It needs more explosions! More stunts! More babes wearing nothing but a piece of string! Noone will ever buy it! You're fired!
Lupus: Uh... who's fired?
Miyamoto: Every director! I'm taking the role as director now!
Lupus: Uh, ok, bye.
Miyamoto: Now... let's start from scene 1 again...
***
(Our story begins at Nintendo Co. Ltd. Shigeru is on his way to work until a strange man stops him near by.)
???: Hey Shiggy, how are the new games for Gamecube doing?
Miyamoto: HOLD ON! We already know who this person is! Can't we just reveal his name instead of putting ??? ?
Bob Dole: You're the director.
Miyamoto: Oh yeah.
Wiyamoto: Hey Shiggy, how are the new games for Gamecube doing?
Miyamoto: Sorry, can't tell you. The game plans are compleatly top secret.
Wiyamoto: Oh come on Shiggy, tell your best friend about the games.
Miyamoto: I don't even know you (well, actually I do, but it's in the script), so leave now.
(Shigeru enters the Nintendo building)
Wiyamoto: You'll be sorry, Shigeru Miyamoto!!!!!!!
Miyamoto: No I won't, because I know I win in the end *pulls down eye and pokes tongue out*
Wiyamoto: RPG battle! Now!!
Miyamoto: 1/1 HP
Wiyamoto: 1/1 HP
Miyamoto uses Daddo Brothers summon.
Wiyamoto takes 89347`982470`8 damage. Dies.
Wiyamoto: No! This can't be! I'm... dying!
Miyamoto: Ahahahahahahahaha!!
Bob Dole: Now why'd you go and do that. Now we have no enemy.
Miyamoto: Yeah we do. Woctor Wily.
Bob Dole: But he only appears about halfway through. See, you skinny dorkus!
Miyamoto: Don't call me a skinny dorkus! RPG BATTLE!!
Miyamoto: 1/1 HP
Bob Dole: 77000/77000 HP
Bob Dole uses Yell stupid insults
Miyamoto reflects the shot
Miyamoto uses I am Woman, Hear Me Roar
Bob Dole takes 77000 damage, dies
Miyamoto: Ha ha ha ha ha! Now to continue on with the story.
Miyamoto enters the building, walks down a few corridors to the offices, and enters one.
Miyamoto: So, how's work on Super Ultra Dooper Mario Bloodshed Gun Bang Bang Violence Sex Sex Sex Pornographic Gut Eating Blood Sucking Vampire NC-17 going, Guy?
Guy: Actually we changed it to Super Mario Sunshine.
Miyamoto: SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE?? But this game is supposed to be the ultimate creation of Nintendo! And we can't have it with such a woosy name as Super Mario Sunshine!
Guy: Sorry, but the fact is that Super Ultra Dooper Mario Bloodshed Gun Bang Bang Violence Sex Sex Sex Pornographic Gut Eating Blood Sucking Vampire NC-17 wouldn't fit on the box. We had to shorten it. And anyway, look on the bright side... uh... whoops, there is no bright side.
Miyamoto: I have the strangest feeling of de ja vu ever.
Walks down the corridor, but falls into a vortex, leading to another dimsension...
Miyamoto: Where am I?
Ash: Look! I found a Miyamoto! I'm gonna catch it! *pulls back baseball cap stupidly and throws a ball at Miyamoto's forehead*
Miyamoto: Ow! You stupid brat! I'll kill you!
Ash: Look Pikachu! It talks too!
Miyamoto: Godamn I talk you idiot! Now come here so I can break your neck.
Ash: Pikachu! Go!
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
Next time on L+A of Miyamoto: **
Miyamoto: So you're saying I'm in the world of Pokemon?
Prof. Oak: Look at me! I can speak and breathe without moving!
Miyamoto: I don't care.
Team Rocket: Ha ha ha! Now it's time for our theme song which takes so freaking long but who cares, we need to waste space coz we've got nothing to fill it up with.
*** STAY TUNED!!!
Bodacious
Miyamoto woke up a couple hours later inside a very crammed space.
Miyamoto: Oh no, don't tell me I'm in a god damn Pokeball. How can this happen, this isn't in the script.
????: But also this one started out diferently didn't it Miyamoto?
Miyamoto: What? Who said that?
????: In the original script it wasn't Wiyamoto who asked you about the games was it?
Miyamoto: No it was...
Suddenly the ball opens up and Miyamoto rolls out looking at his captor who is...
Miyamoto: Professor Oak.
Prof. Oak: No actually it was the infamous Willy Higinbotam, remember?
Miyamoto: Oh yeah.
Prof. Oak: But that was the old script, this is the new one.
Miyamoto: But I fired all the other directors! I'm writing this one!
Prof. Oak: Wrong my friend, Yamauchi is.
Miyamoto: YAMAUCHI!!! I thought my wats destroyed him?
Prof. Oak: They did... in the old script. This is Yamauchi's script, and he thinks that a Pokemon movie would be a lot more profitable than your life story.
Miyamoto: So you're saying I'm in the world of Pokemon?
Prof. Oak: Look at me! I can speak and breathe without moving!
Miyamoto: I don't care.
Team Rocket: Ha ha ha! Now it's time for our theme song which takes so freaking long but who cares, we need to waste space coz we've got nothing to fill it up with.
Miyamoto: I've had enough of this movie already.
Ash: Wooh that's a big A$$!!!
Miyamoto: Wait a minute, I know that voice. Listen Eddie whatever it is Yamauchi's paying you, I'll double it. Just get me outto this damm pokemon movie.
Ash: Hold out your hands.
In Miyamoto's right hand Ash drops a red pill.
Ash: This is your last chance. After this, there is no going back.
In his left, a blue pill.
Ash: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and you believe your a pokemon. You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
Miyamoto: Huh?
Ash: Remember that all I am offering is the truth. Nothing more.
Miyamoto opens his mouth and swallows the red pill.
Ash: I imagine you know sonething about virtual reality.
Miyamoto sits and Misty begins gently fixing white electrode disks to his head, arns, and the back of his neck.
Miyamoto: I am a game designer you know.
Ash: Tell me about it.
Miyamoto: Essentially, it's a hardware system that uses an apparatus; headgear, gloves and whatever to make you feel that you are in a computer program.
Ash: If the virtual reality apparatus, as you called it, was wired to all of your senses and controlled them completely, would you be able to tell the difference between the virtual world and the real world?
Miyamoto: You might not, no.
Ash: No, you wouldn't. The pill you took is part of a trace program. It's going to make things feel a bit strange.
Miyamoto suddenly finds himself Floating in a womb-red amnion. His body spasms, fighting against the thick gelatin. Metal tubes, surreal versions of hospital tubes, obscure his face. Other lines like IVs are connected to limbs and cover his genitals. He is struggling desperately now. Air bubbles into the Jell-O but does not break the surface. Pressing up, the surface distends, stretching like a red rubber coccon. Unable to breathe, he fights wildly to stand, clawing at the thinning elastic shroud until it ruptures, a hole widening around his mouth as he sucks for air. Tearing himself free, he emerges from the cell. He is bald and naked, his body slick with gelatin. Dizzy, nauseous, he waits for his vision to focus. He is standing in an oval capsule of clear alloy filled with red gelatin, the surface of which has solidified like curdled milk. The IVs in his arms are plugged into outlets that appear to be grafted to his flesh. He feels the weight of another cable and reaches to the back of his head where he finds an enormous coaxial plugged and locked into the base of his skull. He tries to pull it out but it would be easier to pull off a finger. To either side he sees other tube-shaped pods filled with red gelatin; beneath the wax-like surface, pale and motionless, he sees other human beings. Fanning out in a circle, there are more. All connected to a center core, each capsule like a red, dimly glowing petal attached to a black metal stem. Above him, level after, level, the stem rises seemingly forever. He moves to the foot of the capsule and looks out. the image assaults his mind. Towers of glowing petals spiral up to incomprehensible heights, disappearing down into a dim murk like an underwater abyss. His sight is blurred and warped, exaggerating the intensity of the vision. The sound of the PLANT is like the sound of the ocean heard from inside the belly of Leviathan. Below Miyamoto, a petal detaches from the stem, bearing away the body of an old man like an automated barge even as a new pod rises up and plugs itself into the empty space. Inside the new capsule, its surface more translucent and pinkish in color, Miyamoto sees a small baby. From above, a machine drops directly in front of Miyamoto. He swallows his scream as it seems to stare at him. It is almost insect-like in its design; beautiful housings of alloyed metal covering organic-like systems of hard and soft polymers. A black particle beam washes over Neo, he reacts in pain as the scanner seems to expose the nervous system wired to the coaxial cable at his cerebral cortex. At the back of the neck, the cable lock spins and opens, disengaging. The cable pulls itself free, a long clear plastic needle and cerebrum-chip slides from the anterior of Neols skull with an ooze of blood and spinal fluid. The other connective hoses snap free and snake away as The back of the unit opens and a tremendous vacuum, like an airplane door opening, sucks the gelatin and then Miyamoto into a black hole.
To be continued...
Lemonjello
As Miyamoto comes out of the black hole, he finds himself in his bed. He gets up and sees all that money he got from those people at the court.
Miyamoto:The money!!! Now I can build the cosmic deathray!!! NOW I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!! Wozby! Get the car ready! We're going to Home Depot!!!
Meanwhile...
Miyamoto:...and get that Auto-Aimer 5000, Wozby!
Wozby:Got it.
Miyamoto:(looks at his Cosmic Deathray list)I think I have it all.
Wozby:All your base are belong to us.
Miyamoto:Isn't Wats' line?
Wozby takes off a mask to reveal....WILLY HINGBOTTOM???!!!!!????
Miyamoto:Wha??!!!???? You said all your base are belong to us and you're not Wats and Wozby is really Willy Hingbottom???
Willy:Yes!!! It's been my evil plan all along!!! Wiyamoto! Destroy him!!!
RPG battle
Wiyamoto HP 1/1
Miyamoto HP %/@
Miyamoto uses I demand a recount.
Wiyamoto blows up.
Willy:#%#^*%^$!!!!!! Now I need use my ultimate attack...Emember the Alamo!!!!
Miyamto:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Willy:YES!!!!! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Willy reveals himself to be none other than...HIROSHI YAMAUCHI???!!!!????!!!
Yamauchi:Now I will be the one who gets Nintendo Power interviews!!!! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
A time portal opens up and Jozby, Wozby, and Wega Wan W step out.
Yamaichi:Why are you three here?
Wega Wan W:We must prevwent Miyamoto's death!
Yamauchi:It is too late for that!
Wozby:NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Jozby:We must kill you now! EVIL BLACK RAY OF TURKISH DELEIGHT!!!
Wozby:EVIL BLACK RAY OF TURKISH DELEIGHT!!!
Wega wan W: W Buster!
Yamauchi:AIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Wozby: We killed him!
Jozby runs over to Miyamoto.
Miyamoto:I am (cough) afraid my time has come...
Wega Wan W:NOOOOOO!!!! You can't die!!!
Miyamoto blows up.
Wozby,Jozby ansd Wega Wan W:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Jozby:Have you realized that people are say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! way too often?
Wozby:Yes.
Waptain Wirk and Wpock beam down.
Wpock:We can resurrect Miyamoto...
To be continued...
Lupus
Wega Wan W: How?
Wirk: Well, I just take my mask off! *does so*
Wozby: Miyamoto!
Miyamoto: Yes, it is me, and I've come to kill... Willy! *rips off Wega Wan's mask, revealing Mario. Rips it off again revealing Willy*
Willy: No! You figured me out! But, I must show you the truth! *rips off Wozby's mask, revealing...*
Miyamoto: Wenny Wicormick! If my name isn't Miyamoto...
Wenny: But it isn't! *rips off Miyamoto's mask, revealing Jozby, then rips off the other Jozby's mask revealing Wel Wibson.*
Wenny, Jozby, Wel, Willy: Well where's Miyamoto then?
Wpock: Uh, guys, I have something to tell you... *takes off mask, revealing Wpock* Uh, whoops *takes off mask, revealing Wpock again, and again, and again, until finally he takes it off revealing Wiyamoto*
Wiyamoto: Now! Have a look at this... the real Miyamoto is the one DYING on the floor right there! *points*
Wiyamoto, Wenny, Jozby, Wel and Willy all look at Miyamoto on the floor.
Jozby: Geeze, there's too many masks in this movie!
Scooby Doo: Woo woo!
Wel: Uh... he's back.
Scooby Doo: Whoops, sorry. Wrong set again *disapears*
***
NEXT TIME ON L+A OF MIYAMOTO!!!
Scooby Doo: Where the hell is Set 4232??
Wel: Down the hall and to the right. *Scooby disappears* Now, everyone, what to do with Bill Clinton here...
Scooby Doo: Finally! Room 4232!!
Wel: Uh, this is just the room you left.
Scooby: Woo woo??
STAY TUNED!!!!!
Lemonjello
Bill Clinton arrives
Bill:I shall rule the world!!!
Scooby Doo arrives.
Scooby Doo: Where the heck is Set 4232??
Wel: Down the hall and to the right. *Scooby disappears* Now, everyone, what to do with Bill Clinton here...
Scooby Doo: Finally! Room 4232!!
Wel: Uh, this is just the room you left.
Scooby: Woo woo??
Scooby takes oof his mask to revael...Woctor Wily????
Wel:Woctor Wily??? I thought you were building your Cosmic deathray.
Woctor Wily:I was, but I need a Auto-Aimer 5000.
Jozby:Miyamoto got the last one! Your plans rule the world are foiled!
Woctor Wily:Give me that Auto-Aimer 5000!
Jozby:No.
Woctor Wily:Give me it!
Jozby:No.
Woctor Wily:Give me it!
Jozby:No.
While Woctor Wily and Jozby argue, Wiyamoto kidnaps Miyamoto.
Jozby:Where is Miyamoto?
Wel:Wiyamoto kidnapped him.
Wel takes off his mask to reveal...Wiroshi Wamauchi???
Wamauchi:I am Miyamoto's ultimate creation!!! I can travel through time and change histrory!!!!
Jozby takes off his mask to reveal...MIYAMOTO??!!!???
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Wamauchi:I'm going to prevent the creation of cheese!!!
Miyamoto:NOOOO!!!! Without cheese Nintendo wouldn't exist!!!
Wamachi jumps in a time portal.
Bodacious
Miyamoto feels as if someone is grabbing his hair and pulling his head back. Miyamoto suddenly finds himself sitting in a chair in front of a desk with a red box with a stand on it. Miyamoto turns around to regain his composure and sees eddie murphy right behind him.
Eddie Murphy: It's ok. Just relax, the events you have been witnessing are not real. You were hooked up to your own device that you have been working on for Nintendo called the Virual Boy. Yamauchi had you locked up down here, but that red pill you took let us find you.
Miyamoto: But I wasn't captured and hooked up to any machine. I've never even heard of a Virtual Boy.
Eddie Murphy: That's understandable, sometimes the reality of the Virtual Boy is so convincing you start to forget elements of your real life. After a while things should start coming back to you though. We can't sit around and chit chat while we're waiting though. we have to stop Yamauchi, he's about to do something terrible.
Miyamoto and Eddie Murphy enter Yamauchi's lair.
Yamauchi: Good evening gentlemen. I would like you to meet my creation Wamauchi. Wamauchi can break the thresholds of time and space. Tell them what your going to do first Wamauchi.
Wamauchi:I'm going to prevent the creation of cheese!!!
Miyamoto:NOOOO!!!! Without cheese Nintendo wouldn't exist!!!
Wamauchi jumps in a time portal.
Eddie Murphy: I'm confused, what does cheese have to do with Nintendo?
Miyamoto: Are you kidding! Back in the days of Doki Doki Panic Mouser used to LIVE on cheese. Without cheese no Mouser, no Doki Doki Panic, no Nintendo.
Eddie Murphy: That's kind of stretching it, don't you think?
Miyamoto: Maybe so, but I'd hate to think of a world without cheese. However, we don't need to worry about that right now, let's focus on killing Yamauchi right now.
Yamauchi: I'm afraid you won't be able to kill me. You see, I plan on killing.
Miyamoto starts to walk toward Yamauchi.
Miyamoto: Well it will be hard to carry out those plans when your dead from me killing you.
Miyamoto moves with elegant ease into a classical offensive position. The fearsome Yamauchi takes a defensive stance. *BANG!* Yamuchi falls over dead while Miyamoto remains still. Miyamoto turns around and sees Eddie Murphy holding a smoking gun.
Eddie Murphy: We didn't have time for a long drawn out fight scene, we have to jump through Wamauchi's portal before it closes.
Miyamoto and Eddie Murphy run for the portal and jump in.
To be continued...
*next time on Life and Adventures of Miyamoto*
Miyamoto: Are you sure you don't want to have sex?
Peach: I'm 87 percent sure.
Miyamoto: What if I told you I was Shigeru Miyamoto?
Peach: Well, I guess in that far fetched scenario I could take it down to 83 percent sure.
*stay tuned*
Lupus
Miyamoto: Where are we?
Murphy: Taking into consideration the temperature, wind direction, population, and energy I'm sensing, I'd say outside the film studio.
Miyamoto: Couldn't we have just walked.
Murphy: Maybe. But it makes the movie more interesting.
Miyamoto: Now, where's Wamauchi gone?
Wamauchi: Ha ha ha ha! I am over here!
Murphy: Wouldn't you have run off? You know, waiting for us is really stupid.
Wamauchi: Oh, but you see, I have a little present for you!
Wamauchi throws little capsule, which sucks up Miyamoto and Murphy. They're stuck.
Wamauchi: Ha ha ha ha ha! Now, I can take over the world, with my CHEESE RAY!!! Bwahahahahahahaha!
*takes over world. Two years later*
Wamauchi: Darn it. I wish I hadn't killed everyone on earth. Now I'm bored.
Miyamoto: We can help if you let us free.
Wamauchi: Fine! *releases them* Now, what do you plan to do?
Miyamoto: Start the population again! First, I have to find a woman-
Wamauchi: Oh, but you can't. I've killed every single female in the world.
Miyamoto: Well, have you still got Mario World 3 Prototype on Disk?
Wamauchi: Yeah...
Miyamoto: Perfect! Prepare to let me and Murphy go in!
Wamauchi: OK.
Miyamoto and Eddie are sucked into the Disk.
**
Peach: Oh Mario! Save me!
Miyamoto: I'll save you! Bowser! Prepare to meet your doom!
Bowser: Bwa ha ha- *sword is stuck in Bowser's chest. Bowser dies.*
Peach: This isn't right... oh well, I'll have to give my hero something in return. What would you like? Lots and lots of gold?
Miyamoto: Sex.
Peach: WHAT? Sorry, my first time's reserved for Mario.
Miyamoto: Pretty please?
Peach: I said no! Now go away!
*a minute silence*
Miyamoto: Are you sure you don't want to have sex?
Peach: I'm 87 percent sure.
Miyamoto: What if I told you I was Shigeru Miyamoto?
Peach: Well, I guess in that far fetched scenario I could take it down to 83 percent sure.
Miyamoto: Great! So lets get started.
Peach: I'm sorry. You'll need proof of you being Miyamoto.
Miyamoto: Oh no! I forgot my wallet!
*NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL Z- UH, L+A OF MIYAMOTO*
Miyamoto: You sure Ben Affleck Island is the place I lost my wallet?
Blinky Bill: Sure I'm sure. Wait! What's the sound?
Ben Affleck: WARK WARK!!!
*STAY TUNED!!!*
Lemonjello
Miyamoto :D ang! Where is my wallet?
Blinky Bill appears for no reason.
Blinky Bill:Your wallet is at Ben Affleck Island.
Miyamoto: You sure Ben Affleck Island is the place I lost my wallet?
Blinky Bill: Sure I'm sure. Wait! What's the sound?
Ben Affleck: WARK WARK!!!
Peach takes off her mask to reveal...WILLY HIGINBOTHAM????!!!!!!??????!!!!!!?????
Willy:Yes!!!! My master plan is complete!!! And you, Miyamoto, helped me complete the most important part of my evil plan of evilness!!!
Miyamoto:What important part?
Willy:The part about destroying the earth's population!!!
Willy takes off his mask to reveal...Wispy Woods????!!!!!!??????!!!!!!?????
Wispy:Yes!!! Now I, Wispy Woods, will be the final boss of Kirby games games instead of a lowly first boss.
Wispy Woods takes off his mask to reveal...Wiyamoto?????!!!!!?????!!!!????
Wiyamoto:Now I shall have my revenge!!!!!
Wiyamoto takes off his mask to reveal...TEAM ROCKET????!!!!!!??????!!!!????
Jesse:Jesse!
James:James!
Miyamoto :D O NOT SAY YOUR MOTTO!!!!!
Meowth:Fine! I'll just capture you so we can take to the boss!
James:Bob Dole, go!
Bob Dole :D ole dole..bob?
Jesse:Willy Higinbotham, go!
Willy:Botham? Higin! Willy!!!
James:Bob Dole, use your smokescreen!
Bob Dole :D OLE!!!!
Bob Dole uses smokescreen.
Wamauchi:AAAA!!!! My eyes!!!
Meowth:Now I can snag Miyamotochu!
Miyamoto:Miyamotochu???
Eddie:NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Team Rocket grabs Miyamoto and puts him into a cage and jumps into their balloon.
Meanwhile at Team Rocket HQ...
Meowth:Boss, he have Miyamotochu!
The boss comes out of shadows and reveals himself to be...WILLY HIGINBOTHAM????!!!!!!!????!!!????
Willy:Now I shall prove to the world that I am the true inventor of video games!!!
To be continued...
Next time on the on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Willy:Miyamotochu, use I Am Woman, Hear me Roar!!!
Miyamoto:No!
Willy:#^%*%^%$!!!!!
Lupus
Ash: Wait! You stole my Miyamotochu! You will pay! Go Queen Amidala!
Amidala: Ami-ami!!
Ash: Amidadalalalalala! Use your poison fish fingers attack!
Amidala obeys, and attacks Willy.
Willy: How dare you! Go, Miyamotochu!
Miyamoto: Uh... Miya-moto?
Willy: Miyamotochu, use I Am Woman, Hear me Roar!!!
Miyamoto: No!
Willy: #^%*%^%$!!!!!
Miyamoto: Saying random symbols isn't gonna get you anywhere!
Ash: Everybody! Let's do the Pokerap!
Everbody: *singing, doing a stupid dance* Bob Dole, Jessie James, Amidala, Booby, Ben Affleck, Shlop on Stick, Smith-**** , Spiny Prick, Oobledude, Miyamotochu, Bilbo Baggins, Benny Doyledo, Nikky Webster, Tamogochi, Joel and Bodacious!
Ash: There's is quite a lot of them, or more you see My ultimate goal is to get into bed with Misty!
Everbody: Today's song is sung! Now you must buy all the figurines, and action figures, and cards, and expecially the new Pokemon game, Paper Pokeball Z 2: Universal Quest!!!
NEXT TIME ON POKEMON *crossed out* L+A OF MIYAMOTO...
Miyamoto: I'm a little toilet, short and stout
Willy: Jason! JASON!? Where've you gone?! I need you!!!
STAY TUNED!!!
Lemonjello
Ash:Give me my Miyamotochu!
Willy:NO!!!!
Ash:Poke'mon battle!
Willy:Bilbo Baggins, go!
Ash:Shrek, go!
Bilbo:Baggins!!!
Shrek:Shrek? Shrek???
Willy:Shrek, kill Ash!!!
Shrek:Shrek!!!!
Shrek starts to eat Ash.
Ash:AIEEEEE!!!!! Now I need to take off my mask for no reason!!
Bilbo:Baggins?
Ash takes off his mask to reveal...Woctor Wily???
Wily:Now I shall destroy you so I can become the only villain in this movie!!!
Willy:Never!!!
Miyamoto:Wozby,Jozby, go!
Jozby:I need to absorb....
Wozby:...Willy and Woctor Wily!
Miyamoto:Don't absorb them yet! I need to take them to Nintendo HQ so I can show them my evil plan!
Wozby and Jozby:Of course!
Miyamoto:Now go capture them!
After capturing Woctor Wily and Willy Higinbotham...
Miyamoto:Good evening gentlemen! I shall now show you how you were doomed from the start!
Puts a Life and Adventures of Miyamoto DVD into a DVD player. Then he fast forwards awhile and presses play.
(movie)Bilbo:Baggins?
(movie)Ash takes off his mask to reveal...Woctor Wily???
(movie)Wily:Now I shall destroy you so I can become the only villain in this movie!!!
(movie)Willy:Never!!!
Miyamoto preses fast forward.
Miyamoto:Now this is the important part...
(movie)Bill Cosby enters Nintendo HQ.
(movie)Cosby:Where is Wozby? I must stop him from firing the Cosmic Deathray!!!
Willy:This hasn't happened yet!
Miyamoto:Actually, Cosby entered a few seconds before it was on the movie.
Wily:But you don't have a Cosmic Deathray!
Miyamoto:I got one from eBay.
Wily:Dangit!!!
Meanwhile...
Cosby:Wozby, don't fire the Cosmic Deathray!
Wozby:I must obey Miyamoto's orders!
Cosby:Join me, Wozby! Together we shall rule the galaxy!!!
Wozby:Ummmm...
Cosby:Wozby, I am your father!!!!
Wozby:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Jozby comes in the Cosmic Deathray room and absorbs Cosby.
Jozby:Yum!
Wozby:You killed Cosby!!!
Jozby:So?
Wozby throws Jozby at Miyamoto's W Machine, which makes it start to work. Then Wirby comes out.
Wirby:Buy Wirby's Wreamland 9!
Weach comes out.
Weach:Please come to the castle Mario. I;ve baked a cake for you!
Warth Wader comes out.
Warth Wader:Wuke, I am your father!!!
The W Machine continues like this until it starts to catch fire. Then Wagus comes out.
Wagus:WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Weach:PleaseWWWWWWCWWWWOWWWWWME TOWWWWWWWWWW THEWWWWWWWWWWWWWCASWWWWWWTLEWWWWWWAGUSWWWWIVEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....(Weach's head blows up.)Please come to....*fizz*
Wozby:NOOOOO!!! All of the W characters are malfunctioning!
Jozby:Thats means we'll blow up!
Wozby:We must complete Miyamoto's final command!
Wozby & Jozby:To the Cosmic Deathray!!!!
Wozby and Jozby run to the Cosmic Deathray and pull the trigger. Then bothe of their heads explode. Then Miyamoto comes in and sees Wozby and Jozby's headless bodies.
Miyamoto:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Miyamoto starts sobbing madly.
Miyamoto:Why? Why??? Why did they have to go????
Miyamoto goes insane.
Miyamoto: I'm a little toilet, short and stout
Willy: Jason! JASON!? Where've you gone?! I need you!!!
Wagus:How'd you get in here and who is Jason?
Willy:My ultimate creattion!
Wagus:The black wind howls...
Wagus' head explodes.
Woctor Wily gets behind Willy shoots him with a lser gun.
Wily:Yes!!! Now Nintendo and the Cosmic Deathray are MINE!!!!! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
??? enters.
???:Good evening gentlemen! All your base are belong to us!!! You are on the way to destruction make your time!
Wily:What you say?
??? reveals himself to be...Colenel Sanders???
Wily:What you say?
Sanders:Stop that.
Wily:What you say?
Sanders:Stop that!
Wily:What you say?
Sanders:STOP THAT!!!!!
Woctor Wily takes off his mask to reveal...Wonic the Wedgehog???
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Sanders:Ray of Kentucky Fried Chicken!!!
Wonic:Miyamoto, save me!!!!!!!
Miyamoto:WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Lupus
Jason Fandelli: Oh no! The instant graemlins are taking over paris!
King Glokenspiel: I should've never given them that bible.
Gerald Cameron: I learnt to eat pie in school!
Sanders: Ray of Kentucky Fried Chicken!!!
Wonic: Miyamoto, save me!!!!!!!
Miyamoto: WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I am strong! Strong! I am invincible! Invincible! I am woman!
Everyone: HE IS WOMAN!!!!!
Wince Warth: What's going on here! My name is Shirley. I eat the shoes that make the children cry! BOING!!!!
Wichael Wackson: Ah ah ah ah stayin' alive. Stayin' alive.
NEXT TIME ON L+A OF MIYAMOTO...
Miyamoto: Now listen up! This is getting way out of control! Peter Rabbit owned a station and he bit his leg wax off!
Skippy the Bush Kangaroo: The hair on my head is dead.
Wagomorph Wetzer: Ten things I hate about you. 1. I like STAR WARS EPISODE *&(98607863280489^*)(%^7203!!! 2. POPSICKLE!!!
STAY TUNED!!!!!
Lemonjello
Miyamoto regains his sanity.
Miyamoto:I need to make a new ultimate creation so I can have a new minion!
Miyamoto pushes a few random buttons on the W machine and someone comes out.
Wagomorph Wetzer:IFHGFJHAMGFDJHGWAGOMORPHHFHDKJHDWETZER!!!
Miyamoto:What did you say?
Wagomorph:I summon Skippy the Bush Kangaroo!!!
Skippy:Why am I here?
Miyamoto: Now listen up! This is getting way out of control! Peter Rabbit owned a station and he bit his leg wax off!
Skippy the Bush Kangaroo: The hair on my head is dead.
Wagomorph Wetzer: Ten things I hate about you. 1. I like STAR WARS EPISODE *&(98607863280489^*)(%^7203!!! 2. POPSICKLE!!!
Miyamoto:I'm suurounde by idiots!!!
Wagomorph Wetzer:Way whe Worce we with wou!
Miyamoto:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Wagus:Whe wlack wind wowls...
Weach:Wlease wome wo whe wastle Wario, W've waked w wake wor wou!
Wirby:Wuy Wirby's Wreamland W!
Miyamoto:What is happening? I am very confused!
Captain Olimar comes out of a time portal, grabs Miyamoto, then goes back in. When they come out they are standing in the Super Star Destroyer Executor.
Olimar:Good morning, Mr. Miyamoto. I came to save you from a terrible death. You now are in the future. Nintendo no longer exists here. In this reality Willy Higinbotham rules the galaxy with his Cosmic Deathray.
Miyamoto pulls off his mask to reveal...WILLY HIGINBOTHAM?????
Willy:How dare you defy me and bring Miyamoto here!!!
Olimar:All your Miyamoto are belong to us!
Olimar takes off his mask to reveal...COSBY????
Cosby:I shall avenge my uncle's death!!!
Willy:No you won't! Super Evil Attack of...
Miyamoto wakes up.
Miyamoto:That was weird.
Wats:All your weird are belong to us!!!
RPG Battle!!!
Wats 545664564355475/545664564355475 HP
Miyamoto:1/1 HP
Wats uses That attack.
Miyamoto is burned to a crisp.
Ghost of Miyamoto:Wats, you fool!!!
Wats takes off his mask to reveal...Eddie Murphy???
Eddie:Yes!!! My destiny is fufilled!!!
Ghost of Miyamoto:Why did you kill me???
Eddie:A flashback scene would explain this better...
*Flashback noises*
Eddie:Dangit!!! That Yamauhi stole my super top secret plans for the Eddie Murphy Console of Doom!!!
Meanwhile...
Yamauchi:Yes!!! Now all I have to do is rename Eddie's console and sell it for millions of dollars!!!
Eddie:NOOOO!!!! I will kill you Yamauchi!!!
Yamauchi:Evil Black Ray of Evil!!!
The attack makes Eddie go to America, for no reason.
50 years later...
Eddie is at Yanmauchi's Evil Fortress.
Eddie:Revenge will be mine!!!
Meanwhile, after fighting Yamauchi's countless mnions...
Yamauchi:Eddie, you shall be eaten by rabid wolverines!!!
Eddie throws a piece of bacon at Yamauchi, who dies for no reason.
*End flasback*
Miyamoto:That had no point.
Eddie:It had a point!!! It explained why I need to destroy every Nintedo employee so I can have my revenge!!!
Ash comes in.
Ash:It's a Miyamotochu and a Eddiemurphytwo!!! Poke'balls, go!
Pikachu:Pika!
Eddie and Miyamoto wake up inside a very cramped space.
Miyamoto:Darn!!! I've been caught again!
Ash:Lets see what Dexter knows about them...
Dexter: Miyamotochu. The game designer Poke'mon. This Poke'mon has no special abilties whatsoever.
Ash:Cool!
Dexter:Eddiemurphytwo. No other information known.
Ash:Cool!
Officer Jenny appears out of nowhere.
Jenny:Ash, you're under arrest!
Ash:Poke'ball, go!
Dexter:It is illegal to keep humans in Poke'balls.
Ash takes off his mask to reaveal...Wrofessor Wak???
Proffesser Oak:NOOOOO!!!! I can't have a W clone!!!
Wrofesser Wak:Gwahahahahahahaha!!!! I shall rule the world!!!*Opens up a time portal* Now I shall prevent Nintendo from hiring Miyamoto!!!
Oak:So?
Wrofesser Wak:Then I can make weird characters like Wagomorph Wetzer!!!
Oak:I don't care.
Wak jumps in the time portal anyway.
Oak takes off his mask to reveal...a headless body???
Headless body:All your mask are belong to us!!!
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Wak:Wagomorph Wetzer, eat them all!!!
Wagomorph Wetzer:WWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
Adimaral Ackbar:Enemy ships in sector 47!!!
Wamauchi:I don't want to be eaten!!!
Bodacious
When wack went through the portal he didn't know it but he actually landed in "The Crazy Dimension".
Wak: I will now build Wagomorph Wetzer.
2 hours later...
Wak:Wagomorph Wetzer, eat them all!!!
Wagomorph Wetzer:WWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
Adimaral Ackbar:Enemy ships in sector 47!!!
Wamauchi:I don't want to be eaten!!!
Suddenly Mario500 walks on to the scene.
Mario500: Ok now this has gone way too far, this isn't anything like I intended this OG to be. I'm goin to destroy you fools that have been making silly posts.
Mario500 pulls out a cosmic death ray.
Mario500: No I don't! That "cosmic death ray" thing is just the kind of silliness I'm trying to do away with. If you can't think of cool weapons for me I'll narrate for myself.
Bodacious: Ok fine, let's here your cool weapon name.
Mario500: Mario500 pulls out the "Blade of Lion's eye".
Bodacious chuckles to himself.
Mario500: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!! IT'S A COOL NAME!!! IT IS!!!
Bodacious starts laughing harder.
Mario500 uses the Blade of Lion's eye to slice off Bodacious' head.
Lupus the Turk and Lemonjello Setzer run in.
Lupus the Turk: Mario500, by the wrath of Linda Mcartney's padio furniture I swear Bodacious' death will be avenged.
Lemonjello Setzer: I too swear on the teeth of many kingdoms which have been lost through the different universes over the passage of time.
Mario500: STOP IT!!! STOP SAYING SILLY THINGS!!! THIS IS A SERIOUS OG, NOT ONE OF YOUR CRAZY PLAYGROUNDS.
Suddenly a mysterious figure walks in through the shadows.
????: Hmmm a battle, It's hardly a challenge but I'll join anyway.
The mysterious figure steps out of the shadows revealing himself to be L IS REAL?!!!
L IS REAL: Yes I will truly enjoy destroying these three fools, even as there will not be any challenge whatsoever for me I will enjoy the kill. I only hope these fools don't know me from previous battles, so I don't have to chase after all three of them when they run away at first sight of me. Hopefully they will be foolish enough to think that they have a slight fraction of the merest possibility of giving me a scratch. Although, I will never get to see their complete humiliation, because once enough time has passed for them to realize the error of their ways they will have already been completely destroyed down to their very last molecule by me. It's kind of sad that I never even get to experience the slightest amount of challenge, but that's a sacrifice I'm...
Movie starts fastforwarding. Two executives Jack and Bob for new line cinema are sitting on a couch in front of a tv. Jack is holding the remote. Movie keeps fast forwarding and the picture isn't changing from L IS REAL standing there talking.
Jack: What the hell kind of movie is this?!
Bob: It's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen. Are you sure Miyamoto actually wants us to distribute this.
Jack: I'm afraid so.
Bob: Maybe we should edit it a little bit.
Jack(in an extremely over-sarcastic voice): YA THINK SO?! I KINDA LIKE THE 2 HOUR SHOT OF THE RAVING LUNATIC!!!
Movie keeps fast forwarding and the picture isn't changing from L IS REAL standing there talking.
Jack: Jesus Christ!!!
To be continued...
*Next time on L+AofM*
Eddie Murphy: Wooh that's a big A$$!!!
*Stay Tuned*
Lemonjello
L is Real:Blablablablabladestroy those 3blablablablablabla....
Lemonjello Setzer:I swear by the omnipotoent wrath of lemon jello, that I will make L is Real shut up!!!
Lemonjello Setzer duct tapes L is Real's mouth shut.
L is Real:MMMMM!!!GJHFKJTKHDJ!!!!!
Mario500:I shall now restore order to my OG...
Mario500 starts to chargehis sword.
Lupus the Turk:Eddie Murphy Summon!!!
Mario500:Not another crazy attack!
Eddie Murphy: Wooh that's a big...
Censor comes in.
Censor:I will not tolerate obscene language in this OG!!! I will NOT tolerate it!!! Do you know that...
Lemonjello Setzer duct tapes Censor's mouth shut.
Mario500:Blocking of Strange Attacks Attack!!!
Lemonjello Setzer:AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Lupus the Turk:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Lemonjello Setzer:NOOOOOO!!! My weird attacks are nullifyed!
Lupus the Turk:I can't use my Eddie Murphy Summon!
Mario500:now I can finish you off!!!
Lemonjello Setzer pulls out a Bob-omb and throws it at Mario500.
Mario500:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Mario500 blasts off like Team Rocket.
Wak:Wagomorph Wetzer, absorb them!!!
Wagomorph Wetzer:Your bacon is my command!!!WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Lupus the Turk and Lemonjello Setzer are absorbed.
Wagomorph Wetzer:I am now.....LEMONJELLO THE TURK!!!!!
Wak:OK....now go wreak havoc!!!!
Lemonjello the Turk:Yes, sir!!! WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Meanwhile, 5 miles away at Willy Higinbotham mansion...
Willy:Yes! Now that I have stolen Miyamoto's top secret blueprints for Wozby and some other misselaneous w characters...I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!!!!
Willy goes to his kitchen and starts to make something in a huge cauldron.
Willy:Now all I have to do is add one more anchovie and the new Wozby will be complete...
Lemonjello the Turk teleports into the kitchen.
Lemonjello the Turk:Must destroy!!!WWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
Willy:Go away!!!
Lemonjello the Turk:NO!!!
Willy:Then I will make my minion destroy you!!!
Willy puts an anchovie into cauldron. Then Wozby comes out.
Wozby:I must destroy Cosby!!!
Willy:No, you must destroy Lemonjello the Turk!!!
Wozby:That does not compute!!!WWWWWWWW!!!
Wozby opens up a huge gate and the gate starts to suck in everthing within a 50 mile radius.
Wozby:No I can fufill my destiny!!!
Willy:YOU FOOL!!!
Censor:I will not tolerate insults because of thei...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Censor is sucked in.
Lemonjello the Turk:The black wind howls?
Everyone is sucked in.
Hours later...
Willy:Where am I...
Lemonjello the Turk:My sensors indicate we are dircetly on top of a Emporer Bulblax.
Willy:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
The Emporer Bulblax wakes up.
Willy:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Wozby:The odds of survival are 112433743407532650 to 1.
Willy:I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!
Suddenly, everthing turns white.
Willy:What happened?
Lemonjello the Turk:We are now located in Shiger Miyamoto's brain.
Willy:Now I can steal all of his ideas!
Lemonjello the Turk:That is unadvisable, Willy, for Miyamoto is dreaming. I believe he is now going to dream about Mario and Luigi killing him.
Willy:Miyamoto is a messed up man.
Lemonjello Setzer:I shall create a protective bubble so we will be invureble and invisable during this dream.
Miyamoto's dream.
Miyamoto is working in his office whe, sudennly, Mario and Luigi come into his office with grenade launchers.
Luigi:This is for making us star in Edutainment games!!!
Mario:Destroy!!!!
They fire their rocket launchers.
Miyamoto:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Miyamoto wakes up, and everbody that was in his mind come out.
Miyamoto:What the heck?
James Bond:Bond...James Bond.
Miyamoto:Why are you here?
Bond:To kill you Miyamoto, you're the one who was really behind Goldeneye. Trevlyan was only a pawn in your scheme.
Bond takes out a grenade and throws it at Miyamoto.
Miyamoto:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Bond takes off his mask to reveal...MIYAMOTO?????
Wozby:Wait, If you're Miyamoto, then you is that guy on the floor?
Miyamoto:Take off his mask.
Wozby takes off that guy on floor's mask to reveal........WOCTOR WILY????
Miyamoto:Now that Wily is dead, only one person stans between me and world domination, and that person is.....WILLY HIGINBOTHAM!!!!!
Miyamoto throws a grenade at Willy, who dies.
Miyamoto:Now I shall rule the world!!!(insert evil laugh here.)
Hiroshi Yamauchi teleports in.
Yamauchi:Miyamoto, you're fired!!! You've missed work for 12 years straight!!!!
Miyamoto throws a grenade at Yamauchi.
Miyamoto:Now I shall rule the video gaming industry!!!(insert evil laugh here.) And all of you*looks at the other people* shall be my new employees!!!
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Miyamoto:Work harder!!! I need Super Pikmin Bros Apoclypse done by tonight!!!
Guy:Yes, Great Master of my life.
Miyamoto:(insert evil laigh here.)
Lupus
Suddenly, the Mask Man from Zelda appears.
Mask Man: I'm sick of selling masks to you people so you can just chuck them on the floor! During this OG I've made seventeen hundred Miyamoto masks, and sixteen hundred and ninty nine of them have ended up on the floor!
Miyamoto: That must mean there's an imposter. It is I! *Takes off mask to reveal... THE MASK MAN???????*
Mask Man: Ha ha ha! It is I!
Lupus: If that's you, who is the other Mask Man?
Mask Man: Why, the mask man of course!
*Suddenly, Miyamoto appears*
Miyamoto: Hm... let's summon some characters to do my dirty work... *Final Fantasy 2 characters appear* Ah, Frionel, Maria, Guy and Leonhart. DO MY WORK!!!
Frionel: Ok.
Miyamoto: *ten seconds later* Work harder!!! I need Super Pikmin Bros Apoclypse done by tonight!!!
Guy: Yes, Great Master of my life.
Miyamoto: (insert evil laigh here.)
Mario500: This is rediculous! This is proposterous! Everyone knows Final Fantasy 2's characters aren't real!
Fred: Deathray!
Miyamoto: Where'd you come from?
Fred: I was here all the time. In the disguise of... *takes off mask to reveal... FRED THE SPANYARD????*
NEXT TIME ON L+AofM
Fred: I refuse to pose naked for Jefferson Ford!
Kylie Minogue: Shut up and eat some more Slim Tablets.
STAY TUNED!!
Bodacious
Miyamoto: Fred you've gained too much weight to be an employee here, do somthing about it.
Kylie Minogue walks in.
Kylie Minogue: I have just the solution for you. These new slim tablets will make you lose weight in no time, so start eating.
Fred: Are there any side effects?
Kylie Minogue: Come on fred, less talk more eat.
Fred starts eating the slim tablets.
2 hours later...
Kylie Minogue: Keep eating.
All of a sudden Jefferson ford walks in.
Jefferson Ford: Zamu!!!
Miyamoto runs of to Jefferson Ford.
Miyamoto: Excuse me Mr.Ford, it's always been a dream of mine ever since I was 1 year old to see you do the Jefferson Ford dance.
Jefferson Ford: Well I might be able to hook you up if that skinny guy poses naked for me.
Fred: I refuse to pose naked for Jefferson Ford!
Kylie Minogue: Shut up and eat some more Slim Tablets.
Meanwhile on the set of Growing Pains...
Alan Thicke: Hahaha my army of kittens will now take over the world.
Kirk Cameron: You don't understand me! YOU NEVER HAVE!!!
Kirk Cameron storms off.
Alan Thicke(with a smile): Was it something I said?
Then Alan Thicke does the Alan Thicke dance.
2 hours later...
Alan Thicke is still doing the Alan Thicke dance.
Mario500: Oh man, this is the worst post yet!
Alan Thicke: Where did you come from?
Mario500: I!!!!!!
To be continued...
*next time*
Mario500: I!!!!!!
*stay tuned*
Lupus
Alan: Planet I?
Mario500: I!!!!!!
Alan: I'll just be going over here... *edges away, sounds of running footsteps, a car door slamming, and a car taking off*
Mario500: Now, time to get this story back to the way it was before!
*meanwhile, in Mike Patton's evil lab of doom...*
Mike: Ha ha ha ha! Finally I have completed my project... the world's first TURBO ORANGE!! With my new Turbo Orange in hand, I can take over South East Asia!
Mario500: Rubbish! Rubbish I tell you! All of it!
Mike: Turbo Orange, attack!
*the turbo orange eats Mario500*
Mike: Now, all I need is for my Death Team to kill Miyamoto then I can rule the South East Asia district! DEATH TEAM! APPEAR!!
*Osama bin Laden, Woody Allen, Georgio Mari, Guido Hatzis, and Cell from Dragonball Z appear*
Mike: Death Team! Let's go and kill Miyamoto!
*ten hours later, they arrive at Nintendo's building*
Mike: Ha ha ha ha! Now, Miyamoto, we must sing our theme song! *one, two, three*
*cheesy music starts, and the Death Team and Mike sing badly*
Mike: La la la la! Death Team, yeah! Do your stuff Death Team. Death are so cool, yeah!
Osama bin Laden: I am Osama. I did your mama. You're getting dumber. Oh what a bumber. NUKE!
Woody Allen: I am Woody. I am a goody-goody. I'll tell my mum. She'll kick your bum. MAMA!
Georgio Mari: Oh Georgio! Way to go! Now, Miyamoto, you have to know, I've got lots to show! GEORGIO KICK!
Guido Hatzis: Mate I'll call youse up. I'll kickbox your smelly butt. Your face looks like a stupid mutt. Your stupid mouf I'd luv to shut. MATE!!
Cell: I am Cell. I can't be stuffed making my own theme because it's getting boring.
Mike: MAKE ONE YOU STUPID DORKFACE!!!
Cell: Ok... I am Cell. Go to hell. Ring my bell. Miyamoto smells.
Miyamoto: OH NO! EVERYONE! ABANDON BUILDING!!
Fred: What?
NEXT TIME ON LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF MIYAMOTO...
Mike: *singing* Knick knack paddywack jump in the sack in fact jerk the smack and crack Jack from the back.
Miyamoto: Hey, cool song!
STAY TUNED!!
Lemonjello
Miyamoto:We need to abandon the building thats what!
Fred:But we're surrounded!
Miyamoto:I'll never give up south-east Asia!
*Mike comes inside*
Mike: *singing* Knick knack paddywack jump in the sack in fact jerk the smack and crack Jack from the back.
Miyamoto: Hey, cool song! But I'll never give up south-east Asia!!!
Mike:Then maybe I can persuade ypu with some differnt methods...
*Miyamoto is captured by the Death Team and is taken to Mike's evil lab of doom*
Miyamoto:AUUUGHHHHH!!!!! ITS TERRIBLE!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!
Mike:But I haven't started torturing you yet.
Miyamoto:Oh yeah.
*Mike inserts a DVD labelled Full House on it*
Miyamoto:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Mike:I'll stop if you give me south-east Asia!
Miyamoto:Must...resist....
Hours of torture later...
Miyamoto:HA! I survived the entire DVD!
Mike:I have more toture methods...
*Mike starts to put a Teletubbies DVD in, but is stopped by Mega Man and Wega Wan*
MIke:What is the meaning of this????
Mega Man:We need Miyamoto so we can stop Dr. Wily from controlling Guam!
Wega Wan:If Wily controls Guam, we will all die horrible long painfull deaths.
Mike takes off his mask to reveal...WOCTOR WILY???
Admiral Ackbar:It's a trap!
Mega Man:Thats my line!
Wily:GWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Now I will rule Guam!!!!
*Woctor Wily jumps into his flying saucer thingy and escapes*
Wega Wan and Mega Man:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Meanwhile at Woctor Wily's secret base in Guam...
Wily:Now I can get promted by them!
Miyamoto:Who are the?
Wily:You shall soon find out...
*A gigantic door opens revealing them*
Cats:Good evening gentlemen. All your base are belong to us.
Willy Higinbotham:I shall prove that I am the true inventor of video games!
Wagus:The black wind howls...
Wiyamoto:Wintendo shall rule all other video game companies!
Bill Gates:I don't have any thing evil to say.
Willy:Good work, Woctor Wily. Now we can imprison Miyamoto, thus destroying Nintendo's hope for ever suceeding in 2002!!!
Wiyamoto:Woctor Wily, dispose of him!
Miyamoto:NOOOOOOO!!!
Cats:You have no chance to survive make your time!
Gates:X-Box is a juggernaut compared to Sony and Nintendo!
67 years later at Willy Higinbotham's video game company...
Gates:So we're doing good, right?
Willy:Wrong! Locating our HQ in Pakistan was a very, very, very bad idea.
Wiyamoto:Another mob is coming to building!
Willy:We need to evacuate!
Mob:DEATH TO WILLY HIGINBOTHAM!!!!
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Mob:Death to all!!!
Cats:We have no chance to survive make our time.
Wiyamoto:My spider sense is tingling!
Lupus
AND NOW, A VERY SPECIAL EXTRA SHORT EPISODE OF THE LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF MIYAMOTO...
Mob: Death to all!!!
Cats: We have no chance to survive make our time.
Wiyamoto: My spider sense is tingling! I can sense that Miyamoto is actually the leader of that mob!
Miyamoto: Ha ha! Very good, Wiyamoto...
Gates: Wait a second, I thought Miyamoto and Wiyamoto are the same person.
Miyamoto: We are.
Wiyamoto: It's just that I created a machine called the Copy-o-Tron.
Miyamoto: What do you mean? I MADE IT!
Wiyamoto: No, me!
NEXT TIME...
Miyamoto: No, me!
Wiyamoto: No, me!
Gates: No, me!
Wiyamoto and Miyamoto: Huh?
Gates: I had to stop that arguing somehow, didn't I?
Lemonjello
And now a very long episode of the Life and Adventures of Miyamoto...
Miyamoto: No, me!
Wiyamoto: No, me!
Gates: No, me!
Wiyamoto and Miyamoto: Huh?
Gates: I had to stop that arguing somehow, didn't I?
Willy:The mob has surrounded us!
Wiyamoto:The movie can't end like this!
The mob busts the door and enters the building.
Mob:WE WILL BURN WILLY HIGINBOTHAM AT THE STAKE!!!
Willy:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
The mob captures Willy and gets ready to burn him at the stake.
Mob:We will punish you for your crimes!
The mob lights the fire.
Gates:Miyamoto can't destroy Willy!
Miyamoto:GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Bill Gates takes off his mask to reveal...ADMIRAL ACKBAR????
Ackbar:Its a trap!!!!
Wiyamoto:What?
Ackbar:Red Leader, we need fighter support!!!
Miyamoto:Mob!!!
Mob:What?
Miyamoto:I found a better way to dispose of these people...
Later at Nintendo of America...
Miyamoto:I will now have my ultimate creation destroy you!!!
Miyamoto's ultimate creation appears...
Cloud Man:Merry Christmas!!!
Willy:AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!
Cloud Man:Aloha!
Wiyamoto:Is he defective?
Miyamoto:Yes.
Wiyamoto:How is he going to kill us?
Cloud Man:Lawyer is me.
Miyamoto:I'm sueing you for robing a Seven-Eleven.
Willy:Why would you sue us for that?
Miyamto:You'll get imprisoned for life and you'll get tortured. Then I can dominate the the video game industry.
Wiyamoto:What about Sony and Microsoft?
Miyamoto:I'm sueing all of them for robing Seven-Eleven.
Later at the trial...
Guy:This is Judge Wapner's Animal court! Today the plaitiff, Shigeru Miyamoto, is sueing Sony, Microsoft, and Willy Higinbotham for stealing a king size Skittles from 7-11!
Wapner:Cloud Man will call his first to the stand.
Cloud Man:Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
Shrek:Yes.
Cloud Man:Where were you on the night of the 13th?
Shrek:Watching Shrek 2:???'s Attack.
Cloud Man:Have or have you not played Mega Man 7?
Shrek:What's a Mega Man?
Wiyamoto:OBJECTION!!!
Wapner:Overuled!
Cloud Man:Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, PROOF that Mr. Higinbotham stole Skittles from 7-11!!!
Wiyamoto:That has nothing to do with anything! And we need a lawyer!
Wapner:Admiral Ackbar is your lawyer.
Ackbar:Its a trap!
Wapner:Shut up.
Ackbar:I call my first witness to the stand, Vicks and Wedge!
Jury:They're dead.
Ackbar:Dang.
Judge Wapner takes off his mask to reveal...TEAM ROCKET????
Ackbar:I'm gonna decapitate you if you say that motto.
James:The defendants are guilty.
*Guards take the defendants to a high scurity prison.*
Meowth:We're gonna capture Miyamoto for the boss.
Miyamoto:What boss?
James:We don't know his name.
Jessie:Tooth fairy, go!
Tooth fairy:Tooth??? Fairy!!!
James:Al Gore, go!!!
James:Al gore,Smoke screeen, now!!!
Al Gore:GORE!!!!
*Meowth puts Miyamoto in a cage.*
Ackbar:Commence attack on the Death Star!!!
Later at Team Rocket HQ...
The boss:I am pleased with your capture of Miyamoto...your reward is a McDonald's gift cetificate...now leave me....
Miyamoto:You'll never get away with this!!!
The boss:But I already have!!!
Miyamoto:Who are you anyway?
The boss steps out of the darkness to reveal............CRONO???????
Crono:GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Miyamoto:You...you....you....you....you talked!!!
Crono takes off his mask to reveal....BOB DOLE????
Dole:RPG battle!!!
Bob Dole 347932587836593574875736598793/347932587836593574875736598793 HP
Miyamoto:548/654
Bob Dole Uses Fallen One.
Miyamoto:Eats the attack.
Hiroshi Yamauchi appears.
Yamauchi 7457397493/7457397493
Yamauchi uses the Force.
It misses.
Miyamoto uses time portal to escape.
Miyamoto is transported to random time in the OG.
UNCLE BILLY (emotionally at the breaking point): Wozby and Jozby did it, Miyamoto! Wozby and Jozby did it! They told a few people you were in trouble and they scattered all over town collecting money. They didn't ask any questions –– just said: "If Miyamoto is in trouble –– count on me." You never saw anything like it.
Tom comes in, digging in his purse as he comes.
TOM: What is this, Miyamoto? Another run on the bank?
Charlie adds his money to the pile.
CHARLIE: Here you are, Miyamoto. Merry Christmas.
Charlie:Why did another Miyamoto come out of that time portal?
Tom:Because it's Christmas!
Uncle Billy:Merry Christmas, Miyamoto!
Tom:Bless them every one!
Uncle Billy:Have some jello Miyamoto!
Bob Dole and Yamauchi come into the court room.
Dole:DIE MIYAMOTO!!!
Yamauchi:I'm gonna rip you to pieces!
Uncle Billy:But its Christmas!
Dole:You're right. We can wait to kill Miyamoto.
Yamauchi:Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Everyone starts to sing Joy to the World. While the Watses bring out more jello.
Wozby:Isn't this a rehash of an older post?
Jozby:Yes, it is, but we aren't dead any more.
Miyamoto:I just need to go home so I can make the Cosmic Deathray.
Wozby:Alll you need to do is eat this red pill and say there's no place like Nintendo.
Miyamoto:*Swallows the pill* There's no place like Nintendo...There's no place like Nintendo... There's no place like Nintendo...
Miyamoto is sucked into a warp portal. As he warps home he sees glimpses of what has hppened in the past. Then he arrives at the End of Time.
Gaspar:I've been waiting for you Miyamoto.
Miyamoto:You have?
Gaspar:No, not really.
Miyamoto:Why am I here?
Gaspar:No reason.
Miyamoto:I want to go home and build my Cosmic Deathray.
Gaspar:That is not advisable. Japan is at war with Guam.
Miyamoto:I'm not afraid.
Gaspar:You will be, Miyamoto, you will be.
Miyamoto:Weirdo.*Jumps into a Japan 2002 time portal.*
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Wozby:Miyamoto, Nintendo HQ is being attacked by Guam fanatics!
Miyamoto:NOOOOOO, they're after my plans for Pikmin Bros 3!!!!
Lupus
Miyamoto: Ho hum, ho hum. What shall I do today, Wozby?
Wozby: Miyamoto, Nintendo HQ is being attacked by Guam fanatics!
Miyamoto: So?
Wozby: No no no! You're meant to say, "NOOOOOO, they're after my plans for Pikmin Bros 3!!!"
Miyamoto: Says who?
Wozby: Says the "Next Time" bit at the end of the previous episode.
Miyamoto: Ok, seeing that it's impossible if we try to avoid it, let's do it now.
Wozby: Ok. *cough* Ahem. *takes on a desperate voice* Miyamoto, Nintendo HQ is being attacked by Guam fanatics!
Miyamoto: NOOOOOO, they're after the plans for Pikmin Bros 3!!!!
Wozby: No, you did it wrong again. You're meant to say "they're after MY plans" Let's try again. Miyamoto, Nintendo HQ is being attacked by Guam fanatics!
Miyamoto:They're after MY plans
Wozby: What? No! You're meant to say the whole thing!
Miyamoto: But you told me only to say that one line!
Wozby: Do it properly! Alright, Miyamoto, Nintendo HQ is being attacked by Guam fanatics!
Miyamoto: NOOOOOO, they're after my plans for Pikmin Bros 3!!!
Wozby: Uh... I'm sure there was something wrong with that sentence, I just can't put my finger on it.
Miyamoto: Give me a break. I did it right this time!
Wozby: Maybe you're right... no, hold on! You forgot to put the fourth exclamation mark after Pikmin Bros 3!
Miyamoto: F*** it!
Wozby: OK, on the count of three... three. Miyamoto, Nintendo HQ is being attacked by Guam fanatics!
Miyamoto: NOOOOOO, they're after my plans for Pikmin Bros 3!!!!
Wozby: Perfect!
NEXT TIME ON L+A -
Miyamoto: Hold it! we haven't finished this episode yet! All we did was waste time trying to continue on from the previous post!
SORRY, MIYAMOTO
Miyamoto: It's alright. Now, to deal with those Guam-
NEXT TIME ON-
Miyamoto: Cut! Cut! Cut!
NEXT-
Miyamoto: Stop!
TIME-
Miyamoto: Please!
ON-
Miyamoto: I'm getting angry here!
L+A-
Miyamoto: Grrrr
OF-
Miyamoto: STOP IT, PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!
MIYAMOTO
Miyamoto: That's it! You're fired!
PLEASE BOSS, I'M JUST THE WORD OVER MAN!
Miyamoto: Get outta my sight!
SORRY... *footsteps, slamming door*
Miyamoto: Now to find a new Word Over Man.
Mariah Carey: I'll do it!
Miyamoto: You're hired.
COOL! NOW I GET TO SPEAK IN LOUD, BOLD LETTERS!
Miyamoto: Good for you. Now get on with it.
NEXT TIME ON MIYAMOTO...
Miyamoto: No, it's life and adventures of Miyamoto! Not this again!
OK. NEXT TIME ON LIFE AND ADVENTURES OF MIYAMOTO
Wozby: Oh no! Tiger Woods is excaping with our plans to build the ultimate fudge bar! Stop him!
Miyamoto: Yes sir!
Wozby: I love being captain...
Lemonjello
WOZBY IS THE CAPTAIN NOW.
Wozby:Yahoo!
Miyamoto:But I creayed Wozby!
TOO BAD.
Wozby: Oh no! Tiger Woods is excaping with our plans to build the ultimate fudge bar! Stop him!
Miyamoto: Yes sir!
Wozby: I love being captain...now go get Tiger Woods!
Miyamoto runs after Tiger Woods.
Tiger Woods:Why are you trying to foil my evil plans, Miyamoto?
Miyamoto:Wozby ordered me to.
Tiger:Oh.....I need to kill you now.*takes out a rocket launcher.* GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Miyamoto:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Tiger:Miyamoto, I am your uncle!!!!
Miyamoto:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Tiger:Join me and we shall rule the galaxy!!!
Miyamoto:NEVER!!!
Wozby:Whats all the yelling about?
Tiger:It is all about my evil plan to coquer you all with the ultimate fudge bar! Yes, that is why I, Tiger Woods, have stolen theses top secret blueprints of doom so I can build my own evil version of the ultimate fudge bar...
*fast forward.*
Tiger:...and furthermore I will also cede the Congo to Mars once I...
*fast forward.*
Tiger:...and that is why I have stolen the plans for the ultimate fudge bar.
*Miyamoto and Wozby are asleep.*
Tiger:Wake up you fools!
Miyamoto:I need coffee.
Wozby:Is it over yet?
Tiger:Idiots.*Gets into his helicopter and flies toward his lab of doom.*
Miyamoto:I promote myself to supreme lord of all W characters.
Wozby:Why?
Miyamoto:It's higher than captain. Now get inside Nintendo HQ and make me some coffee.
Wozby:Yes, sir.
Miyamoto:Hey! No one has taken off a mask and revealed someone else!
Wozby:Dangit! Now someone is going to come in and take off their mask!
Yamauchi appears out of nowhere.
Yamauchi:Ummm...guys...I need to tell you something...
Wozby:Just take off your mask. We already know you're going to Woctor Wily or willy Higinbotham ior some other freakish villain.
Yamauchi:Actually, I wsa going to tell Miyamoto he needs to get his Mario Gore Fest demo ready for E3.
Miyamoto:I never made that game.
Yamauchi:I know you didn't make it. Some Bill Gates said that we should use it and make it have 1 bit graphics.
Miyamoto:Then we'll be a laughing stock at the E3.
Yamauchi:I think Mr. Gates wants to help us.
Miyamoto:You fool! Bill Gates is the president of Microsoft!
Yamauchi:Fine! I'll give it to a more obediant employee! You can work on the Mario RPG/Zero Wing crossover.
Miyamoto:Yamauchi, you're fired!!!
Yamauchi:But I'm the boss!
Miyamoto:Wozby...absorb him!!!
Yamauchi:NOOOOOOOO!!!! I'LL NEVER DIE!!!*takes out a machete.* I SHALL KILL YOU ALL!!!!
Editor's note:The next scene has been censored due to its XXX violence.
Wozby:They don't taste good when they struggle.
Miyamoto:Now I am the emporer of Nintendo!!! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Wozby:Are you going to do something evil now?
Miyamoto:I'm going to create a death team so I can sabotage all of the Sony and Microsoft booths at E3.
Wozby:So what do I do?
Miyamoto:You go absorb Tiger Woods so you can become Perfect Wozby.
*Wozby flies to Tiger wood's fortress and comes back after about 5 minutes.*
Miyamoto:Why are you back so soon?
Wozby:I absorbed him.
Miyamoto:Good. Go work with Guy, Someone, and Noone on Pikmin War Corps.
Wozby:Yes, sir.
Miyamoto:I need to go make my death team...
Mike:You can't have a death team! I own the orginal death team!
Miyamoto:I don't care. Wozby, absorb him.
*Wozby absorbs Mike.*
Turbo Orange:You are not allowed to absorb Mike.
*Wozby absorbs the Turbo Orange.*
Wozby:I shouldn't absorb this many people...
Miyamoto:Why?
Wozby:I don't know. Look in my insruction manuel.
Miyamoto:I don't care if you explode. I always have my instant Wozby stuff and Phoenix Downs. Now get to work on the game demos!
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Miyamto, Wozby, and the daeth team arrive the E3 building.
Miyamoto:Wozby, you shave oof Bill Gates' hair when he's doing important. Death team, spill soda on all of the X-Boxes and PS2s, then destroy the games.
Mario 500
(Meanwhile, in some alternate world)
Mario: We've got to get out of this fright zone and find Miyamoto before it's too late.
Meowth: But Mario, we have been here for years and Willy Hinginbotham probably is done with his evil plans.
Mario: I really doubt that he has done it already, since he failed in court years ago proving he's the true inventor of video games.
Meowth: I suppose you're right!
Mario: Ok everyone, here's the plan.
Morton: Do we get to make cake?
Mario: No!
Iggy: Free King Dad from the Mushroom Prison?
Mario: NO!
Larry: Help me prove to all koopas that I can be as evil a King Dad?
Mario: For the last time, NO!!!
Koopalings: Sorry!
Mario: Here's the plan, we find the exit to this alternate dimension, then we find Ralph Baer to help us find Miyamoto and save the world from Higinbotham.
Meowth: Who the heck is Ralph Baer?
Mario: I'm shocked about this! If it wasn't for him, we would have never excisted.
Larry: So he's the true inventor of video games?
Mario: Yeah! Now let's get out of this place!
To be continued...
Next time of the L&As of Miyamoto...
Meowth: Wait til I get my hands on Higinbotham, I'm going to turn him to Pikachu Meat!
Mario: What do you mean?
Meowth: Well I'm going to um, um, never mind.
Lemonjello
Everyone comes out of the alternate dimension into the normal one.
Mario:Now we need to find Ralph Baer so we can find Miyamoto.
Meowth:Lets go ask that guy if he knows where Ralph Baer is.
Guy:Right over there.*points at a graveyard.*
Morton:Does Ralph Baer have cake?
Mario:No!
*The party walks to the graveyard.*
Ludwig;If my hypothesis is correct, Ralph Baer has been dead for 5 years.
Iggy:Why do you think that?
Ludwig:Look over there.*Points at a tombstone that says:Ralph Baer 1825-2002 Ralph Baer was killed by Willy Higinbotham on January 25th 2002.*
Meowth: Wait til I get my hands on Higinbotham, I'm going to turn him to Pikachu Meat!
Mario: What do you mean?
Meowth: Well I'm going to um, um, never mind.
Lemmy:Now what are going to do?
Ludwig:Take off our masks?
Wendy:Go home and play SSBM?
Morton:Eat cake?
Roy:Beat up Larry?
Larry:Get beaten up by Roy?
Iggy:Incorporate a strange plot twist?
Meowth:Steal Pikachu?
Mario:Save the Princess?
Lemmy:No no no no no no no no!!!!
Ludwig:What do we do then?
Lemmy:Miyamoto is rumored to be at E3. We can go there and take care of him.
Mario:How are we going to get there?
Lemmy:We walk.
4 weeks, 6 days, 21 hours, 45 minutes, and 3 seconds later...
Ludwig:We made it!
Wendy:Finally!
Mario how are we going to get in?
Lemmy:The vents.
Iggy:Are you crazy? The vents are full of rabid vermin!!!
Lemmy:Look at the frront entrance.
Iggy:*Looks at the front entrance, which guarded by tanks and the military police.* The vents are good.
Meanwhile, inside...
Miyamoto:Wozby, you shave off Bill Gates' hair when he's doing important. Death team, spill soda on all of the X-Boxes and PS2s, then destroy the games.
Wozby:Yes, sir.
*Wozby goes toward the main X-Box booth.*
Miyamoto:Death team, I want you to do your motto before you start ruining stuff.
Death team:Yes, sir.
Meanwhil in the vents...
Lemmy:We are now direcrtly above the janitor's closet.
Ludwig:And....
Lemmy:We wait for the janitor to comein so we can steal his janitor uniform.
Ludwig:He should be back soon...
Meanwhile with the janitor...
Janitor:This newfangled whatchamacallit is to slow!*Starts to beat it with a broom.*
Sony guy:AAAAAAA!!! You need to press the power button!!! I'm not letting you leave until you repair this!!!
Janitor:But it's smashed into a gazillion pieces!
Sony guy:Thats your fault!!!
Back with the Koopalings, Mario, and Meowth...
Lemmy:Any second now....
Back with the janitor...
Sony guy:You will fix this with a roll a Scotch tape...and I forbid you to return to the janitor's closet!
Meanwhile with the death team...
*The death team does an elaborate entry scene and says their motto.*
Al Gore:Al!
Jessie:Jessie!
Jozby:Jozby!
Gore:To protect Nintendo evil socks!
Jessie:To destroy the evil Microsoft!
Jozby:To bring destruction to Sony!
All:Death Team blast off at the speed of cheese!!!
Waluigi:Waluigi, thats quazi-mediocre!!!
*Thr Death Team goes around destroying stuff.*
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Miyamoto:Koopa Kids??? I thought you were stuck in a alternate dimension?
Death Team:Looks like we're blasting off again!!!
Wozby:You haven't been hurt yet.
Death Team:Oh, yeah.
Lupus
Janitor: Grr... some nerve that Sony Guy has! Not letting me return to the Janitor closet! Well, I'll show him! I'll go there right now!
Janitor walks into the closet.
Larry: Ta da!
Janitor: Ah! A talking turtle!
Morton: Big boom thingymagig!
Janitor: Stop it! You're ruining my janitor closet!
Koopalings: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Mario: Wait a second, wasn't our plan to steal this Janitor's uniform.
Janitor: But then I'll be naked! No fair!
Wendy: Boo hoo! Go have a cry!
BACK AT E3's MAIN ROOM
Microsoft Dude: Now, ladies and gentlemen, this is our latest invention, the P-Box!
He takes off the cloth covering, revealing a box.
Audience: Ooh, ahh!
Microsoft Dude: Of course, it's just a renamed X-Box, but it'll be good for $29384.234 dollars. Any takers!
Audience: Me! Me! No me!
Al Gore: Hoo ha ha ha ha! *spills cordial on the P-Box*
Microsoft Dude: No! The P-Box is ruined! NoOOOOOOODOOOOAS+dsak.
Mario500: Now, stop it, stop it all of you!
Al Gore: Hoo ha ha ha ha! *spills cordial on Mario500*
Suddenly, from the hallway the Koopalings come, a jacket over their backs.
Larry: *impersonating lower voice* Ahem. I am the janitor.
Miyamoto: No you're not. You're a bunch of koopalings under a jacket which you didn't even put on, just over the top of you.
Larry: I'm sorry, I do not understand you. *singing* I wash, wash, wash all day, day day. I'm the janitor! La la!
Miyamoto: Oh, so I guess you really are the janitor.
Larry: Yes. Now, you're in for a surprise!
The Koopa kids jump out of the jacket, shouting "Ta Da!"
Miyamoto: Koopa Kids??? I thought you were stuck in a alternate dimension?
Death Team: Looks like we're blasting off again!!!
Wozby: You haven't been hurt yet.
Death Team: Oh, yeah. Well, it's fun to blast off like a rocket.
Wozby: *sigh*
Miyamoto: Death Team! Attack the Koopalings!
Death Team: Yes sir!
The Death Team run towards the Koopa Kids.
Koopalings: Heya!
The two teams start to fight, while Miyamoto creeps slowly towards the E3 building's exit. he bumps into someone.
Bill Gates: Uh ah, Miyamoto. You'll have to get past me first.
P. Diddy: And me!
Bill Gates: You could say, we're the enemies at the "gates" HAHAHAHAHA
P. Diddy: Bwaehahshaahahahahehehehahah!
Miyamoto: Hilarious.
Bill Gates: P. Diddy, attack!
P. Diddy: Ok, boss. P. Diddy gun!
He shoots a blast of something at Miyamoto's face. Miyamoto doesn't even flinch.
Bill Gates: Why didn't it hurt you?
P. Diddy: It's chocolate sauce, boss.
Bill Gates: What? You mean your best attack is chocolate sauce?!?! Die! Bill Gates attack!
P. Diddy: Noo! *dies*
NEXT TIME ON L+A OF MIYAMOTO...
E3 Man: hello, and welcome to Planet Zenkafoid.
Death Team: Miyamoto, sir, the Koopalings have finished construction on the Cheese Ray and are preparing to attack!
Miyamoto: Unleash the Scottish Dancers!
Lemonjello
Gates:That attack!
*Gates dies instantly.*
Miyamoto:His own attack killed him? Strange.
*Miyamoto goes back to the Nintendo booth.*
E3 Man:We are now going to Planet Zenkafoid!
Miyamoto:What does that mean?
E3 Man: hello, and welcome to Planet Zenkafoid.
Death Team: Miyamoto, sir, the Koopalings have finished construction on the Cheese Ray and are preparing to attack!
Miyamoto: Unleash the Scottish Dancers!
Ackbar:Its a trap!
Wozby:How did you get in this OG?
Ackbar:Back door.
Scottish Dancers:Lock S-Foils in attack position.
*The Scottish Dancers fly into space.*
Ackbar:May the Force be with us.
*The Cheese Ray blows up the Scottish Dancers.*
C-3PO:We're doomed!
R2-D2:Bleep blip bloop!
Miyamoto:Brilliant! We can escape the OG before the Cheese Ray kills us all! We need to find a car.
Wozby:I have Wario's car keys.
Miyamoto:Normally I'd ask how, but we don't have time for that.
*Miyamoto, Wozby, and the Death Team steal Wario's car and head towards another OG.*
Miyamoto:What OG are we going to go to?
Wozby:Um, sir, I forgot to tell you that the Koopalings blew up all the other OGs.
Miyamoto:We're doomed!
C-3PO:Thats my line!
Wozby:Then there is only one thing left to do...we must ask The One Who Should Not Be Named.
Miyamoto:Who is?
Wozby:I can't say the name. It is too great to be spoken by me.
Miyamoto:Where is he than?
Wozby:Behind you.
*Miyamoto looks behind himself to see...ALFADOR????
Miyamoto:Who are you?
Alfador:Janus'(or Magus') cat.
Miyamoto:You need to save us from the Koopalings.
Alfdor:Go to Wyoming. You shall find your answer there.
*The party departs for Wyoming.*
Wozby:Alfador was right! There is a main power switch here.
*Wozby flips the switch into the off position.*
Aboard the Cheese Ray...
Ludwig:Life support systems failing...gasp...choke..die...
Ackbar:Its a trap!...ummm...I mean...we won...yea.
Waul Wcartney:Cut!
Miyamto:Is it over?
Wcarteney:Yep.
Wozby:Yahoo!
CREDITS
Miyamoto Himself
Wiyamoto Elvis
Willy Higinbotham Al Gore
Yamauchi Kefka
???? Shrek
Superman The Man
Woctor Wily A poor guy off the street
Wats Cats
Cats Wats
Koopalings Kangaroos
Wccartney:Wait a second...I forgot to put the film inthe camera!
Miyamto:Why you little...
To be continued...
Next Time on the L&A of Miyamto...
Wcartney:It was a mistake!!!
Wozby:A fatal mistake.*Lets rabid Lemming out of a cage.*
Wcartney:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Lupus
Miyamoto: You stupid fool! Mask Man: Now we'll have to go through another seven hundred and fifty million masks, you moron!
Wcartney: It was a mistake!!!
Wozby: A fatal mistake. *Lets rabid Lemming out of a cage.*
Wcartney: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! No!!!!! AGHHH!! *silence*
Miyamoto: You're not dead yet. The rabid lemming hasn't even moved.
*The rabid lemming still sits in it's cage, staring at Wcartney*
Miyamoto: Boo!!
*The lemming gets frightened, and eats Wcartney alive*
Miyamoto: Now, let's start from the beginning.
Mask Man: Oh no we don't! You don't know how many backs of pigs I had to use to make those masks! I decided to make my own... *takes off his mask to reveal... MASK MAN??!?!?!?!*
Miyamoto: Mask Man was really Mask Man in disguise!
Mask Man: That's right, fool, and here is my trusty sidekick!
Rabid Lemming: Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such VGF OGs as "The Birth and Death of Miyamoto" and "The Marriage and Devorce of Miyamoto".
Miyamoto: I don't remember those.
Mask Man: That's because I have made a clone of you to act like you!
Miyamoto: No!!
Mask Man: Yes! COME HERE, Miyamoto Project 2!
MP2: Yes sir.
Mask Man: Tell Miyamoto what he's in for.
MP2: All your base are belong to us.
Mask Man: Ha ha ha! It's true! I had Project 2 here announce to the press that you'll be giving up your throne as President of Nintendo to me!
Miyamoto: No! But I earned that spot when Yamauchi was absorbed!
Mask Man: Project 2, remind our prisoner again what we've just done.
MP2: All your base are belong to us.
Miyamoto: Why does he talk stupid?
Mask Man: Oh, I accidently spilt some coffee on him last night but... BACK TO THE IMPORTANT THINGS, you are now our prisoner, and we can do whatever we like to you!
Miyamoto: Like give me a pizza.
Mask Man: Huh?
Miyamoto: No anchovies.
Mask Man: SILENCE! I will not be talked to in such a way!
Miyamoto: Which way?
Mask Man: Die, Miyamoto! *stabs Miyamoto with a dagger* Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Finally, I have killed Mask Man! Whats that you say? I am Mask Man? Well, let me show you something. *takes off mask, revealing... MIYAMOTO?!??!?!?!??!?* Ha ha ha! *takes off the dead Miyamoto's mask to reveal... AL GORE??!?!?!?!?!?!* Darn it! It wasn't Mask Man!
Wozby: I don't understand!
Miyamoto: My arch nemisis Mask Man still lives. Knowing him, he's probably thinking up his most evil plan yet!
*At that exact moment, at Mask Man's house*
Mask Man: Thats strange. I was delivered pizza and I didn't even order it! Oh well. *bite* Mmm... no anchovies. Perfect.
*back at Nintendo HQ*
Jim Carey is stealing all Miyamoto's dope, and smoking it on the spot.
Jim Carey: Somebody stop me!
*Meanwhile, back at the ranch*
Person: Blob.
NEXT TIME ON L+A OF MIYAMOTO...
Squirel: Why isn't Conker back yet?
*Meanwhile, wherever Miyamoto is*
Miyamoto: Finally! My cheese ray is complete! Now I can finally play Cannon Wars!
*fires up his computer*
Conker: Stop, Miyamoto! I have a mission for you. It's from GOD!
Lemonjello
Miyamoto:We must stop Jim Carrey to save Christmas!
Wozby:Christmas is over, Miyamoto.
Miyamoto:So?
Wozby:You can't save it.
Miyamoto:I guess I'll build my cheese ray then.
Meanwhile with the squirrel...
Squirel: Why isn't Conker back yet?
*Meanwhile, wherever Miyamoto is*
Miyamoto: Finally! My cheese ray is complete! Now I can finally play Cannon Wars!
*fires up his computer*
Conker: Stop, Miyamoto! I have a mis....*Conker is eaten by a rabid Lemming.*
Miyamoto:I think he was going to say something important, but Cannon Wars is more important.
*Miyamoto keeps playing.*
Lemming:Miyamoto, I have a message from the great Willy Higinbotham! The great one says this:BGRDFHG YJFHBFGJ NGHJGFHGJYGFGBFJ!!!! XDJ,FHGDLF HGIFNYUDOP7T8P3TV IBSVEL97V B9RLL*^%BLV4 3T65????? That is what the great Higinbotham says. Now prepare yourself!
Miyamoto:For what?
Lemming:Did you listen to the great one?
Miyamoto:Yeah, all he said was random numbers, letters, and symbols.
Lemming:It means you must battle me, for I am...VLADIMIR THE LEMMING!!!
Miyamoto:You are very,very,very,strange.
Lemming:DIE MIYAMOTO!!!!*The Lemming swallows him whole.*
Miyamoto:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
As Miyamoto is swallowed he does not go to the Lemming's stomach, he travels through a large green pipe. When he comes out the other end he is in a black room. Nothing but pitch black. Soon he hears voices. Voices of Willy Higinbotham, Wiyamoto, Woctor Wily, and Yamauchi. At first the voices are distant. Then they sound closer. Closer. Closer. Closer until they are right next to Miyamoto.
Yamauchi:Miyamoto, your time has come.
Miyamoto:Time for what?
Yamauchi:You shall soon see.
*Yamauchi makes that thing that Darth Vader tortured Han Solo with in the Empire Strike Back apear.*
Miyamoto:Why are you going to torture me?
Yamauchi:You know too much about Nintendo. We need to kill you now. If anyone found out about our illegal weapons smuggling, Nintendo would be history.
*Wiyamoto straps Miyaomto to the torture davice.*
Yamauchi:Wiyamoto shall be your replacement so noone will know that you died a slow, long, extremely painfull death.
*Yamauchi sets the torture device for slow, long, extremely painfull death.*
Willy:We should leave now.
Yamauchi:Yes, we shall.
*Everyone but Miyamoto teleport out. Then the Mask Man teleports in.*
Mask Man:GWAHAHAHAHA!!!! Mask Man, you shall die!!!!
*The Mask Man takkes off his mask to reveal...MIYAMOTO?????*
Miyamoto:Yes!!! Those fools thought the Mask Man was me!!! Now I shall exact my revenge on them!!! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Mask Man:Help...pain...hurt...
Miyamoto:I guess I can spare you, only if you beg on the streets for money and give me it.
Mask Man:Anything but that...
Miyamoto:I guess I'll leave you there then.*Teleports out.*
Mask Man:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Later at Miyamoto's evil lab of doom...
Miyamoto:Wozby, come here!
Wozby:What is it?
Miyamoto:I need you for my ultimate master plan to rule the world.
Wozby:Why do you need be?
Miyamoto:I'm building an enhanced absorber so you can absorb whole planets at a time.
10 years later, after finally finishing the planetry absorber...
Miyamoto:Now I shal rule planet with my new super-weapon! Commander fire the Absorber Ray at Earth!
Commander:Yes, sir!
*The Abosber Ray absorbs evrything on earth.*
Miyamoto:Now I shall repopulate the world with W characters! Commander, send down the W machines!
Commander;Yes, sir.
Miyamoto:I shall go down there myself to see the W characters.
Commander:Yes, sir(Do I get any other lines?).
*Miyamoto arrives on Earth.*
Miyamoto:The w machines are doing well.
A Wemming comes out.
Wemming:I have an urge to do something stupid.*Jumps off a cliff.*
Wagus comes out.
Wagus:The black wind howls.
Wroto Wan comes out.
Wroto Wan:Where's woctor Wily?
Wigma comes out.
Wigma:Kill humans!
Woctor Wight comes out.
Wr. Wight:Wega Wan, Wr. Wily is attacking the city!
Woctor Wily comes out.
Wily:GWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I knew that reprogramming Miyamoto's machine would allow me to clone myself!
Miyamoto:NOOOOOOO!!! Wily is back!!!
Wily:Now I shall turn your own W characters against you!!!*Presses a button on a control pad.* Now I shall dstroy you!!! W characters, attack!!!
Wroto Wan:KILL MIYAMOTO!!!
Wigma:KILL MIYAMOTO!!!
Wr. Wight:KILL MIYAMOTO!!!
Wagus:KILL MIYAMOTO!!!
*Suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, a time portal opens up and sucks Miyamoto in.*
Gaspar:Welcome, Miyamoto.
Miyamoto:Why am I here?
Gaspar:I need send you back to the beginning of this OG.
Miyamoto:Why?
Gaspar:The story is getting too complicated.
Miyamoto:Oh.
Gaspar:Now go in the 2002 time portal.
*Miyamoto goes into the time portal.*
(Our story begins at Nintendo Co. Ltd. Shigeru is on his way to work until a strange man stops him near by.)
???: Hey Shiggy, how are the new games for Gamecube doing?
Miyamoto: Sorry, can't tell you. The game plans are compleatly top secret.
???: Oh come on Shiggy, tell your best friend about the games.
Miyamoto: I don't even know you, so leave now.
(Shigeru enters the Nintendo building)
Flying Gerbil:Good morning, sir.
Miyamoto:What the heck?
*Gaspar appears out of nowhere.*
Gaspar:This OG can never be returned to normal. Sorry.
Miyamoto:Why is there a flying gerbil in my office?
Flying Gerbil:I'm the new president. Yamauchi died in a Swiss cheese experiment last week.
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Flying Gerbil:Miyamoto, you are now reasigned to the Flying Gerbil Go Kart game.
Miyamoto:You are a freak.
Flying Gerbil:Thank you.
Lupus
Miyamoto: I want my job back!!
Flying Gerbil: I'm sorry, but code 106687 says that you can't.
Miyamoto: It does not! Code 106687 is that you can't wear Rebok shoes.
Flying Gerbil: Not according to "Gef Yuri's New Rule Book of 2002".
Miyamoto: That's not even a real book!
Flying Gerbil: Get to work on Super Gerbil Brothers II.
Miyamoto: Damn stupid Gerbil.
Flying Gerbil: What you say???
Miyamoto: All your base are belong to us.
Flying Gerbil: Miyamoto, you are now reasigned to the Flying Gerbil Go Kart game.
Miyamoto: You are a freak.
Flying Gerbil: Thank you.
Miyamoto: I hope you know that no one will except you as the new President.
Flying Gerbil: Yes they will, after I shock them with the... *da da dunnnn* Gouda Cheese Ray the Third!
Miyamoto: You trully are a freak.
Flying Gerbil: Thank you.
Miyamoto: What's that smell?
Banana Man: It is I, Banana Man!
Flying Gerbil: You're late. Work on Flying Gerbil's Mansion was supposed to start half an hour ago.
Miyamoto: I'm surrounded by freaks.
*Suddenly, for no apparent reason, Miyamoto dies.*
THE END (again)
*credits role, and at the end...*
Miyamoto Bond will return in: The Cheese Ray of Doom!!
NEXT TIME ON L+A OF MIYAMOTO (crossed out) THE CHEESE RAY OF DOOM...
(Our story starts when Miyamoto is building his cheese ray)
Miyamoto: I am not building a cheese ray!
STAY TUNED...
Inferno Dragon
Miyamoto wakes up and sees that the TV in his office was on with DBZ playing on it.
Miyamoto: that's the last time I watch a DBZ marathon during work.
he shuts the TV off and spins around to face the door of his office when he heard a knock on the door.
Miyamoto got up to awnser the door and when he opened it he saw Goku and Vegeta standing there in their Super Saiyan forms.
Miyamoto: I must be dreaming again. come on shiggy, wake up. *slaps himself* Ouch! okay, this is not a dream.
Goku: hay Shiggy, we came by to ask you afew questions.
Vegeta: first of all why aren't we in smash brothers melee, hmm?
Miyamoto: well, I'll try and get you into SSB3.
Akira Toriyama walked into Miyamoto's office, he looked at Miyamoto.
Toriyama: heh, my Z fighters could easily beat your mascots any day.
Miyamoto: oh really? well, we'll just see about that. I challenge your Z fighters to a tourniment.
Toriyama: HAHAHA. all right, I accept. your charicters against my charicters.
Miyamoto: exactly, the winner gets the looser's charicters.
Toriyama: just tell me when we start the tourniment.
Miyamoto: one week from today, I have to get my charicters into shape.
Toriyama: good luck, you'll need it.
Toriyama leaves with Goku and Vegeta. Miyamoto realizes what he's done and panics. he runs out of his office screaming and rams right into Mario and Luigi.
Mario: hay shiggy, what's wrong?
Luigi: yeah, it looks like you've seen a ghost.
Shiggy: Toriyama just visited me and I challenged him to a smash tourniment. I need you guys to round up everyone and tell them to meet me in the research labs under the building.
LATER, AT THE LAB...
the fighters from super smash brothers Melee have gathered and wait for Shiggy to give them the anouncement.
Shiggy: as you probably know by now, I have challended Akira Toriyama and his charicters to a smash tourniment.
and scence his charicters can change into a more powerful form, I'm going to give each of you a Giga form like I gave bowser.
your Giga forms will reflect your personallity and you will become much stronger.
To be continued...
Lemonjello
Miyamoto:Step into this machine and you will be given the ability to transform into your Giga form. Peach boes into the machine.
Peach:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
*Peach is reduced to a pile of dust.*
Mario:I'm not going in there.
Miyamoto:Dangit! The macne broke and it'll take 345 years to repair.
Luigi:But we're already strong!
Mario:Yeah, watch this!*Mario attempts to break brick, but he breaks his hand.*
Miyamoto:We're screwed.
Bowser:We could cheat or bribe other characters to become your mascot!
Miyamoto:I guess you're right. Bowser, go bribe as many strong characters as you can.
Later...
*Bass, Zero, Sigma, Crazy Hand, Master Hand, Bowser, Andross, and a Met are assembled before Miyamoto.*
Miyamoto:Why is there a Met here?
Met:I have the power of a thousand wrathfull dragons.
Miyamoto:OK. As you all know, you have been assembled here to destroy the Z fighters. Any questions?
Met:Are we allowed to vaporize our opponnets?
Miyamoto:Sure.
Guy:The matches are starting.
Miyamoto:Get out there and make Toriyama weep!
Mascots:Yes, sir!
MATCH 1:MET VS. VEGETA.
Vegeta:Is this all Miyamoto could find?
Met:I am powerfull beyond imagination.
Vegeta:Ha! You fool! FINAL FLASH!!!
Met:Duck!*Met ducks and his helmet reflects Vegeta's blast.*
Vegeta:What the heck??? Why you little....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
*Vegeta is killed by the reflected blast.*
Guy:Met wins match one!!!!
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Goku:Ka...me...ha...
Met:X-Zone!
*Goku is sucked into the X-Zone.*
Guy:Met progreses to the final round!
Inferno Dragon
the met seemed confident that he had won, but vegeta appeared out of the smoak as a level 4 super saiyan.
Met: oh crap.
Vegeta fired off a Ki blast before the met could hide and the met and the met was no more.
Vegeta: Ha! bring me my next challenger!
Bowser Vs. Perfect Cell
Bowser: you don't look that strong to me, you won't last long.
Cell: ha, that's what you think you lizzard. now you'll die.
Cell blasts Bowser with several Ki blasts, Bowser is knocked to the ground and kicked several times.
Cell: pathetic, you don't deserve to live.
Bowser got up and his eyes were glowing white. in a flash of blinding light he was biger, had demon-like horns, green spikes replacing the shell, spikes at the end of his longer tail, sharper claws, and more mennacing eyes.
he had transformed into Giga Bowser!!!
Cell was afraid of this new form Bowser had taken, Cell tried to run but Giga Bowser swiped his tail and impailed him on the spikes. Giga Bowser then tossed cell into the air and shot off a beam of fire at cell from his mouth, Cell was engulfed by the beam and was incenerated. giga bowser let out a mighty roar to signafy his victory.
Miyamoto: I got a portable version of the machine that should work now. Mario, did you restore Peach?
Mario: of corse-a.
Miyamoto: good, lets try this again.
Miyamoto zaps Mario with the beam, Mario became thinner and more muscular his hair became gold and spikey, his eyes turned green, and his cloths changed from a red shirt and blue overalls to a blue shirt and red overalls.
Miyamoto: it worked! now for the others.
Miyamoto changed the others to their Giga forms.
here's a very breif discription of each for future refference.
Giga Mario= super saiyan, wearing his uniform from the origional dokey kong.
Giga Luigi= spikey black hair, red outfit.
Giga Peach= red hair, white dress, and purple streaks under her eyes.
Giga Samus= spiked, golden armor with a tall spike sticking from the middle of the helmet and a red visor.
Giga Link= Oni link
Giga Zelda= Sheik in a gold outfit and bigger muscles.
Giga Gannondorf= Gannon
Giga Mewtwo= black tail, red eyes, and a spike growing from his forehead.
Giga Yoshi= looks like a red dragon.
Miyamoto: that's enough of you for now, I'll get the rest later. the next match is starting and Goku is up.
next fight...
Giga Mario Vs. Goku
Mario500
(Suddenly, Mario and Meowth appear out of nowhere)
Mario: Quick Shigeru, get into our time machine.
Meowth: Yeah! We stoled it from those two weirdos that sent back here at the beginning.
Miyamoto: Where are we going?
Mario: We must go find Ralph Bear on the day he was mudered and foil Higinbotham's evil schemes.
Miyamoto: Alright, let the time traveling begin.
(Time machine transports)
Flying Gerbil: Hey, where did Shiggy go this time?
Gasper: Don't worry Gerbil, I have a feeling where Shigeru will make his next stop.
Flying Gerbil: Where?
Gasper: January 25th, 2002
Flying Gerbil: Oh!
To be continued...
Next time on L&As of Miyamoto...
Mario: Hey Larry, how did you koopalings make here without the time machine.
Larry: Um, Morton created a giant explosion due to his wedding cake and here we are, yeah that's right.
Mario: I believe you, only 6% of it probably is true.
Lupus
Larry: Aha! I've found you Mario!
Mario: Hey Larry, how did you koopalings make here without the time machine.
Larry: Um, Morton created a giant explosion due to his wedding cake and here we are, yeah that's right.
Mario: I believe you, only 6% of it probably is true. Rounded down to the nearest whole number that's 5%. haha, you lose.
Vegeta: Aha! I've found you Mario!
Mario: Hey Vegeta, how did you Z Fighters make here without the time machine.
Vegeta: Um, Goku created a giant explosion due to his wedding cake and here we are, yeah that's right.
Mario: Didn't we just do this?
Vegeta: IT'S ALL IN THE MIND.
Luigi: I'm hungry. Let's go get some pasta. On me.
Miyamoto: This story's getting mucked up. REWIND...
**
Met seemed confident that he had won, but Vegeta appeared out of the smoak as a level 4 super saiyan.
Met: oh crap.
Vegeta fired off a Beam of Jefferson Ford.
Met: Here's where I win!!
RPG Battle!
Met: 60/1 Vegeta: O/P
Met uses Bob-Omb buddy.
Vegeta takes E damage. Vegeta dies.
Met: Ha ha ha! I'm stronger than Paul Bradford!
Goku: Met, prepare to face my wrath!
Met: Face... your wrath...? Uh, could you refrase that?
Goku: Met, prepare to look at my domination.
Met: That's better.
Goku: Ka...me...ha...
Met: X-Zone!
*Goku is sucked into the X-Zone.*
Guy: Met progreses to the final round!
Met: Yehaa! I love this move.
Guy: Next battle, Met vs. Bulma.
Met: Oh no! Bulma is the most terrifying and strongest of all the DBZ characters!!! Agh!!
Bulma: Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Met: X-Zone!
*nothing happens*
Met: X-ZONE!
*again, nothing happens*
Met: X-ZONE GODAMN YOU!! Darn it, I'm outta MP!
Bulma: Here, take a Sensu Ether!
Met: Thanks. *takes it* Now, I'm ready to kick some-
Guy: KO! And Bulma has defeated Met while he was destracted by the Sensu Ether! What a clever d*ck she is.
Bulma: I prefer not to be called a d*ck.
Guy: Sorry.
NEXT TIME ON L+A OF MIYAMOTO...
Miyamoto: Now, time to build my Cheese Ray, for the eightieth millionth time.
Wozby: Uh, sir, I'm afraid there's yet another problem.
Miyamoto: What's that?
Wozby: David Copperfield just stole the Cheese Ray remote.
David Copperfield: Aha! I shall take over the world with stupid tricks and illusions to make your mind burst!
Mario500
(In a matter of instance, God appears)
God: Attenetion all creatures! I have noticed many things are un-organized here.
Miyamoto: Oh my God, you're God?
God: Yeah! Who else did you expect, Bill Gates?
(Everyone is silent)
God: Ok everyone, by the powers of my staff of OG, everything shall now run in a correct order.
(The staff shines so bright that nothing can be soon, until moments later)
Miyamoto: Um, where are we?
Mario: I think this is January 25, 2002.
Larry: Hey, there's someone on my back.
Meowth: It's me, now get me off or I'll scatch you with my claws.
Larry: Um, well got to go!
(Larry runs off)
Meowth: He'll be back, he's used to stuff like that.
Miyamoto: Come on everyone, no time to make plot changes. Ralph Baer is our only hope.
Everyone: Yeah!
To be continued
Next time on L&As of Miyamoto...
Larry: This house looks pretty creapy.
Miyamoto: Let me see the address.
(The address says, Baer Estate 226 Higinbotham Dr.)
Lemonjello
Everyone sets out toward the house, but only Larry, Miyamoto, and wozby get there alive.(Everyone else was killed by Mets.)
Larry: This house looks pretty creapy.
Miyamoto: Let me see the address.
(The address says, Baer Estate 226 Higinbotham Dr.)
Miyamoto:We need to get in there and save Ralph Baer.
Wozby:Is there a way in? The door is sealed shut.
Larry:I have explosives.
Miyamoto:Then go blow up the door.
*Larry blows up the door and everyone goes inside.*
Wozby:This place is really creepy.
Miyamoto:I wonder where Mr. Baer is?
Wozby:My sensors indicate that he is in the basement.
Larry:Since when do you have sensors?
Wozby:Since this OG became strange.
Larry:Oh.
*Everyone goes into the basement.*
Willy:No!!! I will murder Ralph Baer before you eat cheese!!!!
Ralph:HELP!!!!!
Willy:There is not enough time to kill him here...Met! Bulma! Distract them!
Met:Affirmitive.
Bulma:Yes, sir.
Willy:You will never catch me!!!!*Willy opens up a gate.*
Miyamoto:He escaped!
Met:We must...
Bulma:...destroy you.
Hours later after the battle I fell like writing...
Larry:Ow. I can't believe they were that strong.
Miyamoto:Baer is doomed if we don't find out how to open the gates.
Gaspar:I will help you for only $3545.12.
Miyamoto:Okay.
To be continued...
Next time on the L&A of Miyamoto...
Gaspar:The Flying Gerbil is a master of time travel.
Flying Gerbil:My calculations deduce that Higinbotham is in the 1990 AD time period. He went there so he could foil the SNES launch.