Harvest Goers '07 Page 1

page one baby

Author: Golem

OoC: This is going to take place in a timeline completely unrelated to any other story. It would be far too hard to try to place it in the Neutral Timeline, and holy cow it could never work in Good or Bad. Plus, I don't know any other stories in general that it could be in the same timeline with.

~A news reporter stands in front of an open field an hour or so before sunset. The cameras focuses on her. 3... 2... 1...~

Reporter: Thanks, Stan. I'm standing in western Nothing. The view behind me is picturesque, as you can see--but soon, that will no longer be the case. The government has recently sold this land to--

~Rhykette, the robotic person, zooms into view--next to the reporter--with her jet feet.~

Rhykette: --me!

Reporter: ?? No, but--

Rhykette: If I don't make good use of ALL of this land within a year, the government will sell it to construction companies, and they'll build malls and all sorts of crap on it. That's right, we need farmers for this land. Come out to my office at 1010 Plain Road, that's in western Nothing, you can MapQuest it. We'll set'cha up with some good land.

Reporter: Um. You heard it, folks? Apparently this woman,...

Rhykette: Rhykette's the name.

Reporter: Rhykette needs your help farming this land in order to convince the government not to sell it to construction companies. Back to you, Stan!

Author: Director

• People all over the world were watching this news cast*

Director: Farming! That means theyll need a bar tender! Hot Diggity!

Chibi: Farming is fun

• More watched, but these were the first two to respond to the call*

Rhykette: Wait, I'm not done yet

Reporter: I said back to you stan

• A helicopter comes and retrieves the reporter*

Rhykette: Will any one come now?

Director: Heya!

Rhykette: Do I know you?

Director: Well I'm definetely not Killerman if thats what youre thinking!

Rhykette: Ok............

Director: Im here about the farming-

Rhykette: you want to farm!

Director: Errrr no. I want to open up a bar!

Rhykette: Oh..... ok then, you can have the piece of land by the river

Director: Shweet, see ya later!

• Director leaves to open his bar*

Rhykette: Now who will come for farming?

Chibi: Hiya

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

~Luiigii of the Pipes stands at the helm of an ancient, landbound pirate ship, a strong wind whipping his hair and robe as he gazes out upon acres of wheat--wheat that reaches all the way to the horizon. He turns and jumps over the side, delicately landing amidst the stalks so as not to damage any of them. Glancing up at the ship's flag, which displays a foreboding skull in the shape of his own head, he then turns and runs through the field. As he runs, he pulls up stalk after stalk and places them in a tattered blue backpack he wears. Before he has even finished one row, it is six o' clock. Luiigii falls to his knees in the midst of the wheat, gasping.~

Luiigii: There has to be... a faster way... to do this...

Author Chibi Tohru-Chan

Rhykette: So you want to farm?

Chibi: You bet!

Rhykette: Ok. Go talk to the mayor. You can have that run down but quaint farm over there.

Chibi: Hooray!

• Chibi rushes to the run down farm and notices the mayor lounging by the mailbox.*

Mayor Flutter: Oh…hey there! I’m Mayor Flutter. I even have the funny top hat and bow tie to prove I’m the mayor of a deserted town! Yessiree, I know everything about this town…except for why it’s failing…and why there’s only like five people in it… Well this is pretty much all you get: a one-room “house”, a barn, and a mailbox. Oh and a dog house if you have a dog.

Chibi: I do! He’s over there!

• Flutter looks at a huge dog that’s the same size as Chibi*

Flutter: Are you sure that’s a dog?! It’s like a small bear! But speaking of animals the barn comes with a cow. A nice farm cow. You wouldn’t want some other kind of cow for your farm after all.

Chibi: Eeee cow! *goes and hugs it*

Flutter: Riiight….and you have some seeds to get you started on growing crops. Seeds require lots of work. Watering, umm growing, something else…maybe. Anyway just raise some animals, grow crops, make friends, get married…

Chibi: M-mmarried?! But I’m too young!

Flutter: Oh there’s no law about age around here.

Chibi: Eep! I’m still too young!

Flutter: Oh well, just follow those things and this town will be doing well in no time! I’m the mayor after all! I know best! Ignore the fact that the town is crumbling after my years of governing. Bye now!

• Chibi gets over the shock of being ordered to get married & happily goes to plant crops. A cat comes & brushes up against her, purring*

Chibi: Oooh look! A kitty! *hugs it*

• Director pops up & snatches the kitty out of Chibi’s hands*

Chibi:

Director: (talking to the cat) No! You’re supposed to hate her! She uses too many smilies! Bad kitty!

• the cat scratches Director and runs off*

• • • At Luigi’s sea of wheat farm

Mysterious voice: So…you want a faster way to harvest wheat huh?

• Luigi tries to dig himself out of the maze of wheat to see who’s talking to him*

Luigi: Eavesdropper! And yeah. What’s your idea? And why do you look so weird?

Evil Scientist Dude: I’m not a mad scientist! Ignore the freaky glasses and lab coat! Uhh I mean…right, my idea! Hehe. You need a tractor! Which I have cleverly invented!

Luigi: You didn’t invent that! It’s been around forever!

Evil Scientist Dude: I invented it for this town!

Luigi: Oh ok. Wait a second. We can’t have tractors. There’s no electronic devices in this town but TV and lights!

• Mayor Flutter pops up*

Flutter: That’s because we have to protect the environment! No harmful fuel! …Ohh…this wheat is so soft…and cozy….ZZZZZZ *Mayor Flutter falls asleep in the sea of wheat. Evil scientist Dude and Luigi stare at him for a minute, then resume talking*

Evil Scientist Dude: Anyway, my tractor runs on alternative fuel. Magical Mushrooms!! Muwahahaha!

Luigi: Uh huh. Now I know you’re crazy.

Evil Scientist Dude: I may be crazy but the Magical Mushrooms exist and can fuel anything! They belong to the Harvest Sprites. That’s how their tree house glows all the time-the mushrooms are the source. You just need to go and get them! Good luck!

• he slinks off into the field of wheat*

Flutter: Oww! You stepped on me!

Evil Scientist Dude: Opps. Sorry. Hehe.

Luigi: Hmm well if it’ll harvest my wheat faster, it’s worth a shot! To the Harvest Sprites!

~At Director’s Bar~

Chibi: Phew! I’m tired after all that planting!

Director: Welcome to my Bar! I’m not Killerman…really. Ignore the crossed out sign on the door.

Chibi: Ummm…sure. Can I get something to drink please?

Director: Well I’ve got beer, and wine, and…

Chibi: Uhh do you have anything without alcohol? I’m underage.

Director: Nonsense. Everyone can drink here!

Chibi: Isn’t there any concept of age here?

• Flutter pops up again*

Flutter: Nope. Because no one ever ages….EVER. There’s a time warp! Yeah that’s it! Plus the only laws in this town are to keep the environment safe and do your best! Oooh shiny beer glass! I want some!

Chibi: Ah…Well don’t you have anything without alcohol?

Director: Nope.

Chibi: Wait, milk is on your menu-what about that?

Director: All our drinks have alcohol in them.

Chibi: Even the milk?

Director: Especially the milk.

Chibi. ...What about water?

Director: Oh yeah that stuff. Yeah I guess that’s fine. If you’re boring and ignore the fact that you’re in a bar and should be drinking.

Chibi: I’ll take that then! Oh what’s this? *takes piece of paper out of crack in table* Hey a recipe for fruit juice! Yay!