Revision as of 21:44, 14 December 2007

Part 1

Author: Yami Yoshi

*At Yami Yoshi's house on Yoshi's Island*

Yami Yoshi: Boy am I hungry for some food! Let's see what's inside the refrigerator!

*Yami Yoshi opens the refrigerator*

Yami Yoshi: Gasp! Someone stole all of my cheesecake!

*Yami Yoshi observes the scene of the crime and sees fingerprints on the fridge handle*

Yami Yoshi: Those prints can only belong to one person...that person is...

Author: Vorpal

Mysterious (gotta wiggle yer fingers when ye say it) Voice: ...GOLEM!!!

Yami Yoshi: Who said that?

Vorpal: *steps out from the shadows wearing an trench coat and matching hat* I did.

Yami Yoshi: Wha- How did you get in my house?

Vorpal: I shimmied up the gutter and broke into your attic window, but that's not important...

Yami Yoshi: The back door was unlocked...

Vorpal: What?!? It was?!? I mean- I said it wasn't important. *pulls out large magnifying glass and tweezer and picks up brown thread* An Unmistakeable thread from Golem's trademark scarf! He stole your cheesecakes!

*music comes from nowhere as lightning crashes* Dun dun duuuuun!

Yami Yoshi: Well, I guess I can get more cheesecake.

Vorpal: No! NO YOU MUSTN'T! Golem has taken your cheesecake, you must AVENGE the lost sacredness of your lucious food... *drools*

Yami Yoshi: I'm guessing you have no money for food, huh?

Vorpal: ....

Yami Yoshi: Fine, I'm saving up for a new game anyways. So, where do we start looking for Golem?

Vorpal: We'll have to start at my place... to the Vorpomobile!

*A large V flashes the screen and they're both suddenly standing in front of an old broken down blue truck, at least from the 1950s*

Yami Yoshi: That's it?

Vorpal: Of course! What, you were expecting some futuristic technology?

Yami Yoshi: In a word, yes.

Vorpal: Shall we take YOUR car then?

Yami Yoshi: ... fine, whatever. We'll take the Fossile-Mobile. Let's just get started, okay?

Author: Golem

Golem: Take my car. ~wearing a large bookbag~

Vorpal: You don't have a car.

Yami: Golem!! It is time to avenge my... ~rolls his eyes~ It's time to do battle. Is that good enough?

Rhyk: I'm Golem.

Golem: No, I'm Golem!

Rhyk: Shut up, Rhyk.

StuMan: I cameo!

Yami: So how do we do this? Team battle...?

Golem: Wait, what are you battling me for again?

Yami: Stolen cheesecake.

Golem: Oh, right. ~hands Yami some money~

Yami: What?! You just deflated the OG!!

Golem: ~looks around, takes money back~

StuMan: ~leaves~

~Rhyk speeds forth and grabs Vorpal's leg and pulls it up, landing Vorpal on his back. Vorpal counters by spinning himself around and kicking Rhyk in the feet twice, and effectively tripping him up, too. Golem, in the meantime, has fled, with Yami soon after him.~

Author: Yami Yoshi

Yami Yoshi: Vorpal!

Golem: Heh heh heh...that's my cyborg clone Rhyk. I have programmed him to be the ultimate warrior in the universe. You don't even stand a chance against him with your current strength...

Yami Yoshi: Why the hell do you want my cheesecake?

Golem: My intent for stealing your cheesecake is incomprehensible for a low intelligent life form like you.

Yami Yoshi: ...what?

Golem: Exactly.

Yami Yoshi: Don't try to pull your scientific shatmuck on me! Dark Egg!

*Yami Yoshi materializes a Black Yoshi Egg in his hand and hurls the explosive egg at Golem*

Golem: Woah!

*Golem sidesteps and narrowly avoids the fiery explosion radius*

Golem: Hmm...your strength seems to have exceeded my original prediction. It's time for plan B...

Yami Yoshi: ...what?

Author: Golem

Golem: Plastic surgery! ~Golem whips around his heavy bookbag right into Yami; and Yami, not expecting the bookbag to be so manueverable, is slammed by it. Golem continues fleeing.~

Yami: ~picking himself up off of the ground~ What's up with that kid...? ~runs after~

~Soon after, Golem is running on a sidewalk beside plenty of stores. He stops at Canadian Dude's Party Store and dashes inside.~

Golem: Canadian Dude! They're onto us!

Canadian Dude: Woot's that, eh?

Golem: You know.... they're on to us.

Yami Yoshi: *bursts through door* Give me my cheesecakes!!!

~Meanwhile~

*Vorpal swings his sword downwards toward Rhyk, but Rhyk claps and holds the blade just inches from his face*

Rhyk: Face it, Vorpal, you are no match for my superior strength!

Vorpal: Not... if I... can help it!

*Vorpal kicks Rhyk, causing him to let goe of the sword. Taking Rhyk's moment of vulnerability, Vorpal swings around with his sword about to strike Rhyk at the side when...*

-----COMMERCIAL BREAK-----

Author: Masamune

*... Masamune bursts in*

Masamune: Oww! Argh, that wall... *rubs head* That'll leave a shiner.

Rhyk: There was a door there...

Masamune: Yeah, but it was glass.

Everyone: .....

Vorpal: *sucker punches Rhyk and runs*

Rhyk: Argh! Get back here! *shoots lasers from his nose at Vorpal*

Masamune: Noooo....! Vooooorrpaaaaalll....!!!

*everything goes slow motion*

Vorpal: Blaaaaaaaaarghh!!!! *yells something unintelligible as laser flies towards him*

Masamune: I'll save yooooooou!!!!

French Dude: *munch munch*

Rhyk: GYYYAAAAAAH!!!!!

Masamune: *pushes French Dude into the laser*

French Dude: AIIIEEEEE!!!!!!

*French dude fries and everything goes back to normal*

Masamune: *jumps through window* Hurry! This way!

Vorpal: Are you nuts! *lasers fires through his hair* Right. That way. *jumps and they both land inside a boat with wheels* This is your getaway car!?

Masamune: Getaway -boat-. The S.S. Swordefeller... Beta. *puts sails up and turns on a fan*

Vorpal: Oh great, that'll get us moving. Should I row?

Masamune: Just wait. *turns fan from Medium, to High, to FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS KIDS! and they take off at lightning speed down the road*

Author: GORE-ILLA

Rhyk: *watches from window* Curses. *hits his digital watch and a picture of Golem appears on it* Houston. We have a problem.

Golem: Just hold them off for a little while, Canadian Dude's working on reinforcements!

Canadian Dude: Operation Giant Operational Robotic Evil-Ion Lithium Laser Attacker, AKA GORE-ILLA, is more or less finished. Preferably less.

GORE: No I'm not, you finished me an hour ago.

Golem: Good, then help Rhyk! ...And get me a soda while you're up.

GORE: Aye. *Dashes through wall on a path of destruction and nearing the nearest river*

*Yami Yoshi races through the Canadian woods in hot pursuit of Golem. After sprinting for about an hour, Yami Yoshi slows his pace to a run...then a jog...then a walk...then a crawl...*

Yami Yoshi: *pant*...dang...lost him...better take a break now...

*Yami Yoshi crawls over to a nearby river and sticks his tongue into the crystal clear stream swallows a juicy silver salmon*

Yami Yoshi: Woo...I feel a little better now...Time to continue my pursuit!

*Suddenly, a faint crashing noise is heard and several trees in the distance collapse like dominoes*

Yami Yoshi: What the hell was that?

*Yami Yoshi squints toward the direction of the destruction. A massive mechanical monkey charges toward him at an amazing velocity knocking over all trees adjacent to the super sonic simian. The cyborg chimp suddenly stops a few feet short of the opposite riverbank*

GORE: Initiating area scan for enemy.

*GORE's eye morphs into a camera lens-like object and flashes a red laser over Yami Yoshi's body*

GORE: Organism identified as Yami Yoshi. Enemy detected. Initiate combat mode.

*A hatch on GORE's chest opens and fires a barrage of missiles at Yami Yoshi*

Yami Yoshi: Yikes! Egg Shield!

*A transparent Yoshi Egg surrounds Yami Yoshi's body and dissipates the missiles*

Yami Yoshi: I have no idea who the hell you are, but I'm taking you down! Dark Egg!

*Yami Yoshi hurls a Dark Egg which explodes and welds a hole through GORE's face*

GORE: *face restores Terminator-style* Initiate Level 2 Combat Level...

Yami Yoshi: Aw shatmuck...

*Rockets emerge from GORE's feet and propel him straight towards Yami Yoshi as he extends his right arm, hitting him with it as he passes by. Yami tumbles over backward and into the drink. GORE grabs YY by the neck and holds him underwater. Yami, desperate for air, forms a Dark Egg in a right hand and stuffs it into GORE's face. It explodes on contact and temporarily blinds him. GORE releases his grip on Yami and attempts to clean his eyes with his hands while Yami leaps into the air and kicks GORE in the chest with all his might. GORE stumbles back a bit into a tree bark and YY reaches with his tongue, grabbing the rtree's heaviest branch, which lies coincidentally lies right above GORE's head, and pulls on it until it falls off and smashes on GORE's head. GORE slumps over.*

Yami: Now that was easy.

GORE: Initiate Level 3 Combat Level!

Yami: Crap.

*GORE snaps the branch into two splintery halves and wields both of them like swords, slashing them randomly at the open air in hopes of slicing up Yami. Yami now seems bent on retreating with his life and kicks his leg, fluttering though the air Yoshi's Island style to the other side of the river. GORE, however, clears the river in one hop an continuous approaching Yami, swinging the wood like a madman. Yami tosses dark eggs like mad in an attempt to stun GORE again, but all of them harmlessly shatter as they are struck by GORE's branch halves. GORE then lifts up one of the branch halves and flings it at Yami as if it were a javelin, but Yam once again summons his Egg Shield. The force of the toss shatters the shield, but Yami receives no physical harm and lifts up the dropped half of th branch, which is still in working condition after the throw.*

Yami: Time to put an end to this.

GORE: I am in agreement with your wishes.

*GORE and Yami leap towards each other like in so many Japanese animes, each wielding one of the tree branches. Who will survive? I'll let some other writer to take care of that.*

Author: Yami Yoshi

Yami Yoshi: Suck my stick!

*Yami Yoshi and GORE swing their sticks simultaneously at each other. GORE's gargantuan gorilla strength helps him snap Yami Yoshi's stick in half*

Yami Yoshi: No!

*GORE uses his free hand and smashes his fist into Yami Yoshi's oversized nose. Yami Yoshi twirls through the air leaving a trail of blood and smacks into a tree. GORE rocket thrusts toward the ground and points his tree branch inches (or centimeters in Canada) away from Yami Yoshi's throat*

Yami Yoshi: *wipes the blood off his nose* Erg...@#%$...

GORE: Enemy's health status critical. Preparing for final attack.

Yami Yoshi: Dang...I...can't...die yet...what did my old master tell me about this...

*FLASHBACK 8 YEARS*

Yoshi's Island...

Yami Yoshi: Dark Egg!

*A 7 year old Yami Yoshi hurls a Dark Egg in front of an elderly black Yoshi, which releases a tiny set of fireworks in the sky*

Yami Yoshi: Master Yoshi! Master Yoshi! Was that good?

Master Yoshi: Hrrmm...TERRIBLE!!!

Yami Yoshi: *falling over* WHAT YOU SAY?!

Master Yoshi: Your Dark Egg explosions are pathetic! You get an F!

Yami Yoshi: *sobbing* NOOOOO!!! BUT WHY!!!???

Master Yoshi: All you do all day is eat cheesecake and play video games...THESE ARE NOT THE QUALITIES OF THE NEXT GENERATION YOSHI WARRIOR!!! Fifty laps around the island!

Yami Yoshi: *sweatdrop* Grr...

*After 10 hours, Yami Yoshi finally finishes his exercise around the island and night has fallen. Suddenly, the night's silence is shattered by a thunderous explosion followed by a mushroom cloud*

Yami Yoshi: Wow! What was that?

Master Yoshi: That...was the Nuclear Egg: the ultimate Yoshi Egg of destruction. It has the potential power to destroy an entire city. However, it can be deadly if used unwisely...

Yami Yoshi: Ooh! Ooh! Can I make a Nuclear Egg? Can I? Can I?

Master Yoshi: NO! A Nuclear Egg requires a lot of your energy to produce. Even if you could, a Yoshi would only use it as a last resort. It is extremely dangerous!

Yami Yoshi: Hmm...one day, I'm going to make a Nuclear Egg and use it to fight evil! *motion of throwing an egg* BOOOOOOM!!! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!

Master Yoshi: .......HOW DARE YOU MAKE SUCH A FOOLISH STATEMENT!!! FIFTY MORE LAPS AROUND THE ISLAND!!!

Yami Yoshi: *sighs*

*END FLASHBACK*

Yami Yoshi: Well, I guess this can be considered last resort then...I just hope it works...NUCLEAR EGG!

*A massive Black Yoshi Egg materializes in Yami Yoshi's hand with a radioactive symbol infringed on the surface*

Yami Yoshi: All right you simian shatmucker...THIS IS IT!!! NUCLEAR EGG!!!

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Yami Yoshi flings the Nuclear Egg at GORE, who swings his stick like a baseball bat. It strikes the Nuclear Egg and sends it flying into the far distance to only to finally land later in the story when everyone's forgotten about it to serve an important person. Or it got sucked into a jet engine and shredded, whatever.*

Yami Yoshi: Hey, I was using that!

GORE: Initiate Level 4 Combat Level.

Yami Yoshi: Stop that.

Author: Masamune

*Yami Yoshi goes head-first at GORE, leading with his branch. However, GORE manages to partially duck. That is, he doesn't completely avoid Yami, and in fact, his head fits right into Yami's wide open mouth. Following his yoshi instincts, Yami Yoshi swallows GORE and turns him into an egg. Thinking quickly, as soon as he reaches the ground, Yami kicks the egg into the river without cracking it.*

Yami: Now, on to... where am I going, anyway?

*Meanwhile, in some forest...*

Masamune: According to the S.S. Swordfeller's scanner, there should be a fast food restaurant right... HERE!

*The boat, heading for the ground while tipped down, collides with Yami at the front, scooping him up into the Swordfeller.*

Masamune: Great Scott! We have a McDonalds on the boat!!

Author: Lupus

Lupus: Ah, what a delightful day to be walking conveniently towards a portal that will undoubtedly take me into the firing range of Yami Yoshi's all-destroying attack.

*portal runs away*

Lupus: Now that I get to live I suppose I'll... BUILD A BUILDING! IN SURROUND SOUND!

*twenty years later which is irrelevant to any other time on the rest of the earth, in Lupus' brand new DRUG DEALING INC. skyscraper*

Lupus: There must have been some reason why I did this... Wait, no there wasn't.

Inspector: Sir Lupus? I have reason to believe this drug dealing enterprise is merely a front for a pet store.

Lupus: Why I never!

Inspector: You never what?

Lupus: I forgot.

Inspector: Well, if you have no further things to say I'll have to shut it all down and make yet further unnecessary advancements in the plot!

Lupus: What's a plot?

*two days later, which is again no period of time over where Yami Yoshi is, Lupus and his grand army of nobodies stand outside the skyscraper, which has been turned into nothing at all*

Lupus: This is it guys! Time to attack! WATERGUNS NOW!

*the world explodes and everything reverts back to nothing*

Inspector: You never what?

Inspector Clone: I didn't say anything.

Lupus: Ah, what a delightful day to be walking conveniently towards a portal that will undoubtedly take me into the firing range of Yami Yoshi's all-destroying attack.

*falls into portal and gets hit full blast by Yami Yoshi's Nuclear Egg*

ALTERNATE ENDING FOR LIKE MINDED CONVENTIONALISTS!

Scientist: Now this is what would have happened if Lupus had taken Golem's post into consideration instead of Yami Yoshi's!

Lupus: *on the couch* Man I could just play Final Fantasy VIII for ages...

*ice age, stone age, tech age pass*

Lupus: *on the couch with an extremely long grey beard* Man I could just Final Fantasy MMIV for ages...

Qwirtzok: Will everyone stop injecting 'u's into my name! It's W!! W!!! ...Wait, that's the other Member OG. *detonates time bomb*

Part 2

*The S.S. Swordefeller crashes into the side of Canadian Dude' store.*

Masamune: Store ashore!

*Masamune, Vorpal, and Yami Yoshi flip over the rail of the boat and kick down the door.*

Yami Yoshi: Golem has stolen my cheesecake! He must die!

Golem: Aha! But you forget my secret weapon!!!

Canadian Dude: I thooght the monkey was yer secret weapon, eh?

Golem: Well, he wasn't very secret, considering how he walked up to Yami Yoshi and tried to beat him up and everything.

Yami Yoshi: Golem! Prepare to die!

*Vorpal and Masamune pose.*

Vorpal: I suddenly realized how irrelevant we are.

Masamune: Pah! They only want us to THINK we're irrelevant, so that we walk away and get distracted by... Ooh! Scones!

Golem: Now for the secret weapon!!! *pulls out Slort*

Slort: Yo.

Yami Yoshi: Uh, hi.

Slort: Epik ma toogle nah.

Yami Yoshi: Uh...

Slort: Koopick noopick choopick!

Yami Yoshi: Well, you see...

Slort: KABBSA NO KURIBAN!

Yami Yoshi: Okay, you're not even saying anything! You're just...

*Slort headbutts Yami Yoshi, sending him flying back to the river. He crashes into GORE's egg, breaking it open.*

GORE: Hello.

Yami Yoshi: D'oh!

Lupus: It is a strange world where the word @#%$ is censored! I am offended by this nonsense! It is my language and biggotry against it is plainly racism!

Koopa: I have a new car. With a CD player.

Lupus: And what's more I have never in my life witnessed such a blatant disregard for someone's post! Except in VGF Members OG number 1! And several other places

Koopa: But really you don't care that much do you.

Lupus: Not at all! This way I get to extend my intro to encompass...

MORE RANDOM EVENTS!!!!!!!1111I MEAEN EXCLAMATION MAREK NOET TEH ONES

Lupus: Of course I could also just find GORE and tell him to stop pretending he's a bad guy.

Bad Idea Guy: That's a bad idea! A very bad idea!

Lupus: You're right. This calls for DVD marathons.

*now for something completely different, in a castle on a dark hill... well, maybe a toolshed in a slighty dampened bump out in the backyard of some middleton house BORINGVILLE*

Dark Figure: Mwahaha. Now finally my plan that is undecided as just yet but is undoubtedly very evil will unhatch itself! I am unbeatable! But now I must get some sidekicks and some super powers!

???: Not so fast! I am here to stop your evil plan before it begins! By use of tongs coated with strawberry jam and jetpack ignition fluid!

Dark Figure: No! Who are you?

???: Hello, my name is Inigo Montaya... You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Dark Figure: You'll never kill me alive!

Inigo: Mwahaha. *does so* Now I have all I need to take over the world myself! Mwahaha! Did anyone realize this scene was pointless as the Dark Figure could have been me anyway? It doesn't really matter who the evil guy is! *is squashed by a elephant falling from another dimension*

*in that other dimension*

Even Eviler Guy: Mwahaha! Now no one can stop me taking over the world with the evilest mwahaha in the world! And this dimension! And any other unforseen dimensions! *is squashed by a elephant falling from another dimension*

*in that other dimension*

Evilest Guy: Bwahaha! Wait, I mean Mwahaha! Time to put my DESTROY EVERYTHING FOR NO APPARENT REASON PLAN INTO ACTION! But first I need the most evil soul on Earth for my machine... Yes, that's right! It's NOT LUPUS!

Lupus: Wha...? When the heck do I get a proper place in this OG?

Evilest Guy: NEVER! MWAHAHAHAHA! *is squashed by an elephant falling from another dimension*

*in that other dimension*

Lupus: Mwahaha. Now my evil plan will really begin. After I come up with an evil plan, of course!

Canadian Dude: Shut up aboot it!!

Lupus: Eh, wot?

~pan out to reveal that Lupus was standing in front of Canadian Dude's Party Store~

Slort: What was up with that, anyway?

Everyone: ~stares at Slort~

Slort: I mean, slingy sha pawihaw!

GORE: Time to meet your maker, Yami!!

~GORE stomps forth towards Yami, who is inching away. Vorpal and Masa take notice and start throwing scones at GORE, which does nothing, so they give up. Slort starts talking, but seriously, without a translator, he might as well try to shrug. Canadian Dude and Golem sit on top of the store in director's chairs, waiting for the scene to end. They fight over who gets to put on the mustache. It's this thing that looks like a real mustache, and when you take off this strip of paper on the back, it reveals tape, which you can apply to just above your lip and below your nose. If you didn't know what I meant by "the mustache" up there.~

Yami: Well, I hope I don't screw it up this time... NUCLEAR EGG!!

Canadian Dude: I bet you two pet rocks that the Nuclear Egg is going to be as devalued as the peso in ten minutes.

Golem: You're on!!

~Yami Yoshi throws the Nuclear Egg at GORE, and just as it is about to reach him, Lupus throws a cheesecake with "Yami Yoshi" written on it at the Nuclear Egg. The cake takes the brunt of the hit, and grows to the size of a hammerhead shark.~

Cake: Gwar har har!! Hey, what are all those fireworks?

Slort: :trolS

Vorpal: Great. Now we've got to settle our differences to defeat the mutant cheesecake!!

Cheesecake: No, I'm taking Lupus' side.

Lupus: I don't have a side. At least, I don't think I have one.

Cheesecake: I'll take Yami's side, then.

Masa: Awww, geez!!

GORE: Don't worry, cheesecake is nothing!! I can take care of that thing and still have time for scones. ~rolls up sleeves that aren't there~

Vorpal, Masa: ~shifty eyes~

~GORE charges at the cake, which sits there. Passing this off as the cake's inability to move because of its lack of muscles, GORE jumps and punches with all his might. Unfortunately, his fist goes right into it without damaging it, and he drops to the ground. GORE then tries to get up and run away, but the cake slowly pulls him in.~

Yami: Hah! Where's your secret weapon NOW?!

Slort: ~jumps up and down~

Meanwhile at the White House...

*President George W. Bush sits at his desk in the Oval Office in front of several TV cameras*

Camera Guy: Mr. President...we're on the air in 5...4...3...2...1...

President Bush: Good afternoon America. I have recently received some shocking reports of the use of NU-CU-LER weapons in Canada. The Prime Minister of Canada has 48 hours to flee, before he faces military retaliation...

Meanwhile at the Prime Minister's shack in Canada...

*The Prime Minister of Canada lies on red silk sofa sipping on a glass of Chateau de Chucklehuck watching the news broadcast on TV*

TV: ...NU-CU-LER weapons in Canada. The Prime Minister of Canada has 48 hours to flee, before he faces military retaliation...

Prime Minister: Vhat?! Vhat?! Zee presi-dent of Amereeca eez an eediout! Vee do not 'ave such wea-pohnz! Eet eez time to prepare zee Canadian ar-may! Vee shall vin this vor! VAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Narrator: Has Yami Yoshi started a war between the U.S. and Canada with his Nuclear Egg? Will President Bush eat his brocolli? And French Fries...ARE THEY REALLY FRENCH? All of this...next time...only in...GAMEHIKER MEMBER OG!

*cue accordian French music*

Vorpal: mmm... I like scones....

Masamune: You know... we seem to be at the brink of nuclear annihilation...

Vorpal: Wait? When did George W. Bush become President? I thought he was President of Mexico, and locked up in North Korea!!!

Masamune: Wrong OG...

Vorpal: Oh...... right...

*silence*

Vorpal: I miss being President...

Masamune: Don't you get it?!? In this OG you never were!

Vorpal: Oh........ right...

*silence*

Vorpal: I wish I was President...

Masamune: RRG!

Vorpal: What's that stand for?

Masa: No, it was a grunt. "Urg," not "ar-ar-jee."

~Soon, propellers from government-owned flying subs are heard overhead. One stops directly over top of the group.~

Megaphone: PAUSE RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!

Yami: What is it?

Canadian Dude: Wot the... an OG having a consequence on the society outside of the immediate vicinity of the OGers?!

Golem: I doubt anyone even noticed that Team Rocket had an island. Or is it Team Rocket Omega?

~Meanwhile, on said island~

Intern: Tag! You're it!

Meowth: This is Scrabble, idiot.

~Back to our normally scheduled programming~

Everyone but Golem: No inside jokes.

Guy who came down from flying sub while Golem was segueing to TR's island (AKA That Guy): Explain it to me! I mean, we're here to confiscate the nuclear bomb you have. And since this is a perfect world where nukes have absolutely no blast radius or radiation hazard, I'll be airlifting it to... somewhere better via the flying sub. ~latches various stuff onto the cheesecake in preparing to lift it with the sub~

Golem: But GORE's still--~mouth is covered by Canadian Dude's hand~

*GORE continues to get sucked into the moster cheese cake, he's now only has one arm and his head still out in the open*

GORE: Uh... some help here? Anybody?

~meanwhile, on the Canadian flying sub~

That Guy: We can inform the President that there is no longer a nuclear threat.

Radio Operator: Wow... that killed that part of the plot really fast...

That Guy: Yeah... almost too fast...

~back to Canadian Dude's storefront~

Yami: So... are any of you guys going to help GORE?

Golem & Canadian Dude: *shrug*

Vorpal: Wait a second... that cheesecake with Yami's name on it came from Lupus... that means that it wasn't Golem who stole the cheesecakes...

Lupus: ¬_¬ *starts to slowly edge away*

Vorpal: *dons Sherlock Holmes hat* But why, Golem? Why didn't you say you didn't take it?

Golem: Well... I did... Lupus stole them from me...

GORE: Guys!!?! *head gets sucked it*

Masamune: So....

Lupus: *runs*

*GORE's hand gets sucked in the entire way. A few second later, the Cheesecake starts to rumble. Eyes and mouth pop out of it's side*

Caykzor: I am Caykzor!! I must devour you all so that I may obtain my ultimate form and take over the known universe!

Golem: Wait? What happened to GORE?

Caykzor: HE IS NO MORE!!!!

Vorpal: You're lying, aren't you?

Caykzor: -_-;

Yami Yoshi: Dark Egg Barrage!!!

*All the eggs bounce off Caykzor's skin and shatter uselessly as they hit the floor. A French-Canadian Chef and his Apprentice, who were passing by, run over and beat Yami with egg rollers.*

French-Canadian Chef: VAT?? VAT ARE YOU DOING??? YOU IDIOT!!!

French-Canadian Apprentice: HOW DARE YOU HURT AN INNOCANT CAKE!!!

Yami Yoshi: CAN YOU STOP PUMMELLING ME??? IT HURTS ALOT!!

*French-Canadian Apprentice turns around and sees Caykzor twitch. He taps the Chef's shoulder.*

French-Canadian Chef: VAT??? VAT DO YOU VANT???

French-Canadian Apprentice: ZE CAKE!! SHE IS MOVIN!!!

*French-Canadian Chef looks at Caykzor, who is now still and silent. Chef slaps Apprentice on the cheek.*

French-Canadian Chef: CAKES DO NOT MOVE, IDIOT!

Vorpal: *Draws Vorpal Sword* Alright Frenchies, it's bout time I attempted to do something.

*Vorp swings his sword at French-Canadian Apprentice, who jumps to the side and bowls over Chef in the process. In the process, F-CA sees Caykzor yawning and taps F-CC's shoulder.*

F-CC: VAT??? VAT IS IT NOW??

F-CA: ZE CAKE, IT IS MOVING AGAIN!!!

F-CC: I TELL YOU, CAKES DO NOT MOVE!!!

F-CA: PLEASE!!! LOOK FOR YOURZELF!!

F-CC: VINE, ZEN!!

*F-CC turns around and sees the cake leaning forward towards him. Caykzor licks his lips.*

F-CC: AHHH!!!!! ZE CAKE, IT IS MOVING (is pulled into Caykzor's mouth with his tongue and swallowed alive.

F-CA: ZEE?? ZEE?? I TOLD YOU IT MOVES!!! *while he's yelling, is swallowed alive as well.*

Caykzor: Now can someone fight me?

Masa: Yeah, do your thing, Splog! Splog?

*Elsewhere, in an American interrogation room...*

*Splog is tied to a chair in a dark room, urrounded by American soldiers.*

News Reporter: American forces have captured this man, who is believed to be one of the Candian Prime Minister's top terrorists! This is live from the interrogation of this murderer!

American Soldier: So where's the Canadian Prime Minister hiding? !4002 ni hsuB etoV

Splog: *Confused grunts*

~Back at the ranch...~

~Vorpal slashes his sword at the cheesecake, but all it does is get stuck. Vorpal tries to get it out, but the sword gets pulled in farther and farther. Vorpal tries harder and harder, because this is his good sword. However, in the process of pulling back, his foot gets stuck in the cheesecake...! At this moment, he realizes the trouble he's in, and turns around, trying to pull one foot out and go forward with the other. Yami Yoshi runs to Vorpal's assistance while Masa clears the S.S. Swordfeller from the wreckage and starts it up. As Vorpal's torso starts to go in, Yami realizes the danger he's in... his feet are almost in the cheesecake, too!! Then the Swordfeller comes by from nowhere, with Masa in it. As it slows down, facing away from the cake, Masa yells to Yami and Yami takes a hold of it. Masa then turns the fan on to max. Both Yami and Vorpal shed tears from the power, but Vorpal is still getting sucked in. It's up to his neck when Yami lets go of Vorpal and the Swordfeller is off. Within seconds, Masa stops it and reverses. At this point, the cheesecake finally gives way from all the weakening the Swordfeller did to it. Vorpal falls on his chest and rolls face-upward, and then lays there, looking at his body covered in cheesecake.~

NTCooN (good ol' Narrator That Came out of Nowhere): This is the Cheesecake Armor! It, uh... does special stuff!

Masa: ~hops out of the S.S. Swordfeller with Yami~ It's time to fight food... with food!

Vorpal: Exactly! ~produces a traditional white with red stripes lollipop from pocket, holds it in sword stance, and the edible part lengthens to the length of a real sword~

Vorpal: It's sharp, and it's sweet, too! *licks lollipop sword, but accidently slices tongue* O_O ACK!!! *quickly ties up tounge with a cloth*

Caykzor: With the power of the Vorpal Sword, I can now transform into my next form!

*Masamune, Vorpal and Yami stand in awe as Caykzor grows legs and arms, and demon-like horns*

Caykzor: Cower before the ultimate might of CAYKZOR!!!! *Starts running toward the three*

Yami: Well, guys... this is it...

Masamune: Yeah... make sure you don't get stuck in him, got it?

Yami: Got it!

Masamune: Vorpal? ..... Vorpal? *turns to find Vorpal not there*

Vorpal: *running away* I value /my/ life!

*Masamune and Yami turn around*

Masamune: You skunk! *Caykzor stomps on Masamune, absorbing him*

Yami: Ack!!! *tries to run away, but is also stomped, being absorbed*

Vorpal: *runs into a corner* O_o No way out!!! *turns around to the advancing Caykzor* What am I gonna do?

Dodo: I would suggest cowering in fear.

Vorpal: o_O Where'd you come from!?

Dodo: The stork presumably.

Vorpal: ... whatever. There's no way I can defeat this thing.

18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)~Inside Caykzor18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)~~

Masamune: This sucks.

Yami: Being absorbed tends to be that way...

Masamune: No. "Gamehiker Member OG"? What's up with that? I mean, the story is nice and incoherent. But the name isn't catchy. We should be like... The Ocassion Arrivers or something.

Yami: Nah. Too cliched.

18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)~Outside18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)~~

Dodo: You could try eating it.

Vorpal: ... what!?

Snifit 1: Go for it!

Snifit 2: Yeah! Eat!

Snifit 3: CAMEO!

Vorpal: The heck!? Why does this all seem familiar....

Dodo: Just do it. You have to.

Vorpal: HELLO. Did you happen to forget MY FRIENDS ARE IN THERE? And my sword is too. I can't just EAT IT.

Dodo: *offers a carton of milk* You can wash it down with this.

Vorpal: Perfect. Fine. *grabs fork* I'll eat the darn thing... >_<

*Vorpal dashes towards Caykzor wielding his fork. Caykzor swings at Vorp, but he leaps over him and in the process plucks off Caykzor's right pinky finger, which he then quicky eats as Caykzor bashes his head forward in an attempt to absorb Vorpal through his forehead while he's airborne. Luckiley, Vorpal plants the fork in Caykzor's forehead and sinks his legs into it for support. He then yanks hard on the fork, pulling a giant chunk of Cyakzor's forehead free, including the part which imprisioned Vorpal's legs. He then dropped to the floor and ate through the giant chunk to free himself while Caykzor licked his wounds.*

Vorpal: That's a good appetizer, but I think it's time to finish my meal!

Caykzor: Then you should stop playing with your food before it plays with you!

*Cayzkzor forms a spear-like piece of absorbant cheesecake from seemingly nowhere and charges towards Vorpal.*

*Vorpal jumps over Caykzor's spear and sticks the fork in Caykzor's back, the same way he did his forehead, with his feet, driving the fork further into Caykzor's cakey flesh*

Caykzor: Not this time, FOOL!

*The fork start to rumble, and Vorpal is thrown off onto Caykzor's back, with his feet slowly being absorbed*

Vorpal: Ack! my feet are stuck *tries to pull them out, but is absorbed faster* Ah! Ah! Okay... okay... I'll just pull out my feet with my hands *sticks arms into Caykzor* Okay... not panicking... just going to pull my arms out with my face! *throws head into Caykzor, and is fully absorbed*

*fork is also absorbed*

~In Caykzor~

Masamune: *smacks Vorpal* "Pull my arms out with my face!"

Vorpal: Hey- HEY!!! I seemed like a good idea at the time!

*Dodo appears*

Masamune: Nice of you to join us...

~Outside~

Caykzor: Now for the SCRAWNY ONE!!!!

Golem: *sunning himself* Wha- ... oh! OH! I'm back in the story...

Caykzor: Bow before the great CAYKZOR!!! *with Vorpal and Dodo absorbed Caykzor's eye and forehead reform, and a tail sprouts out*

Golem: freaky...

Caykzor: *roars*

Golem: How ironic... that the cheesecake that I stole is now my greatest enemy.

Lupus: I don't get it...

Golem: I thought you ran away!

Lupus: Well... this is becoming a more and more pathetic story... I think we're the only ones left to save the day...

Golem: Do we want to save the day, though? I mean... Yami was trying to kill me... and you stole the his cheesecake from me!

Lupus: I've got a weakness for Cheesecake.

Slort: Umpi mugi ladidoo!

*Golem, Lupus, and Slort jump toward a rampaging Caykzor, and the screen flashes into a pencil sketch of them and Japanese pop music starts playing*

Anime Narrator: Will Golem, Lupus and Slort save their friends? Join us next time for another exciting episode of Gamehikers Members OG!

*Golem, Lupus, and Slort are jumping at the charging Caykzor. At the same time a strange girl approaches Canadian Dude’s store, she sees Canadian Dude inside and goes to find out what’s going on as the trio makes their first attack.*

~Inside the store~

Girl: What’s going on out there?!

Canadian Dude: Oooh, just an average fight between guys and a mutant cheesecake.

Girl: Oh.

Girl: Wait…that thing used to be food?!

Canadian Dude: Yeah that’s basically it.

Canadian Dude: I don’t think I’ve seen you before…who are you?

Girl: I am Kuria, and I am going to help.

*With that she runs out to join the trio already fighting Caykzor.*

~Outside~

*Golem and Lupus start to attack Caykzor, Golem taking to punching him repeatedly in the face and Lupus taking to kicking him in the legs. Slort resorts to biting Caykzor’s tale and holding on for his life. With all of this going on no one notices Kuria coming towards them and Caykzor, simultaneously drawing her bow magically in her left hand and pulling an arrow from her quiver with her right.*

Kuria: From the heart of Pie, I striketh thee! *fires arrow*

Caykzor: Nooo... not pie...! *the arrow burns a hole through him, but he isn't quite defeated*

Golem: *snaps finger* Of course. Pie is his weakeness... oh. Wow, a new girl.

Lupus: Pie? Mmm...

Kuria: Yes. That was my Pie Arrow. It only seemed right.

Caykzor: Uhmm... guys. I ain't dead.

Golem: Oh! Right! *they all go back to trying to kill him*

Kuria: Wait. I just told you his weakspot... pie... and you're gonna do the same thing over?

Golem: Of... *gets sucked in*

Lupus: Course... *gets sucked in*

Slort: Uhna Gamam uuga! *scampers besides Kuria*

Kuria: *sigh* This is going to be a loooong day...

Part 3

Slort: Smella bah goo zap!

Kuria: I... I really don't know what you're saying... you.. you... whatever you are...

Slort: SPAGGGAAA!!!!

Kuria: You know... you kinda look like you're from that video game, Super Mario Bros.

Caykzor: Do not think that because you are a girl that I will go easy on you!?

Kuria: Oh! Right! Cake thing...

Caykzor: I am no mere "cake thing"!!! I am the king of all cakes!!! And you shall bow before my might!!! Behold! My new form!!!

*A blinding light flashes, and a booming voice bellows out*

Caykzor: Fear me! For cheesecake is greater than flesh and blood!!!

Kuria: *trying to focus her eyes* This can't be good...

*The light begins to fade to show Caykzor's new form*

Caykzor: Bow before the mighty CAYKZOR!!!

Kuria: you're... uhm... my size now... isn't that a step down?

Caykzor: You fool! My may have shrunk, but I'm much more powerful in this form than the previous!

Kuria: Sounds like some dumb DBZ villain rip-off! *shoots another Pie Arrow*

Caykzor: *Pie Arrow deflects* HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I have grown even more powerful than your pies!!! What will you do now?

Kuria: Not good...

~Inside Caykzor~

Vorpal: Does it feel more confined in here to you guys, or is it just me?

Masamune: Would whoever it is that's got their foot in my face, please move it!!!

GORE: That's your foot, Masamune!

Masamune: Oh... right...

Yami: Wait... I've seen this episode before! They just get the cheesecake to absorb too much, and the cheesecake eventually explodes!

Masa: Where's our air supply coming from, anyway...?

Golem: Anyone up for Mario Kart: Super Circuit? ~produces four GBAs~

~Back outside...~

~As Kuria readies another arrow, swiftly dodging the cheescake, she cannot aim so that it will not hurt anyone inside the cheesecake. As she ponders what to do next, the cheescake seems to start floating. Kuria looks up and sees that the cheesecake is being airlifted by the US government's flying sub. Cue tense guitar music. Kuria then aims her arrow at the chains binding the cheesecake and connecting it to the ship, but as it strikes, the arrow falls to the wayside.~

Rhyk: Follow me. I know where they're headed.

Kuria: And you would be...?

Rhyk: No time to explain, but I am in this for those above.

Mysterious (wiggle finger) Voice: Release them.

~Vorpal, Masamune, Yami, Golem, GORE, Lupus, amd Dodo are ejected from Caykzor, who is lookings sort of ill~

Masamune: o_O *puts pants back on*

Everyone: Whew.

Mysterious Voice: I bet you are wondering why you're here.

Vorpal: Not particularily.

Mysterious Voice: Well I'll tell- wait. You're not? At all?

Yami: Not really.

Golem: Yeah.

Mysterious Voice: Well uhm... I made cookies?

Everyone: Yay! *they get cookies and wait expectantly*

Mysterious Voice: Good... now it is time to reveal myself... *pulls off cloak and voice warper*

Everyone: Sapphire!?

Masamune: Wait a second. Sapphire can't be in this OG.

Sapphire: Yes I can! This is my sub!

Masamune: True. But you have to be introduced by your writer. Note: Your writer doesn't do fun stuff anymore.

Sapphire: B-but!

Vorpal: *shakes head*

Sapphire: Golem, tell them!

Golem: Sorry Saph. No can do.

Sapphire: *pouts*

Masamune: Hey. Don't cry to us. Blame your writer. In the meantime we need someone else.

~Sapphire walks away sadly and a new Mysterious Figure steps up~

Everyone: *gaspses*

*Mysterious figure is none other than. . . Yoshiman!*

Yoshiman: *Kinda whimpy voice* Fear me!

Golem: Sapphire was better.

Yoshiman: I have milk to go with the cookies!

Everybody: Yay!

*And they ate cookies*

Vorpal: So why are we here?

Yoshiman: Umm. . . I'm kinda rough on the details. Did it have something to do with DBZ?

Yami: Almost.

Yoshiman: Cheesecake?

Sapphire: Yes!

Everyone else: Go away!

*Sapphire pouts and leaves again*

Yoshiman: Cheesecake and almost DBZ, eh? I remember that. . .

Vorpal: Is this whole milk?

Yoshiman: Yeah.

Vorpal: Good, cause whole is much better than 2%. . .

Masamune: Tsk, Vorpal, he was about to tell us why we're here.

Vorpal: Right.

Yoshiman: Sorry, lost my train of thought.

GORE: So what released us...?

Vorpal: No interrupting!!

Yoshiman: Oh, right, now I remember. We're here to witness the union of this lovely gravel... oh, wait, I mean... Golem was going to use the cheesecake to power a new device!

Golem: How do you know about this?!

Yoshiman: Old Golem has made a device which would allow Golem to travel between his different selves as he pleased! That is, Lesser Golem, Greater Golem, and Cat.

Golem: Hey!! Stoppit!! This reminds me of the time...

~flashback~

Flutter: ~hops out of chimney, bounces off o' WW~

WW: ~falls off roof~

Golem: O.o;

WW: ~falling~ Oh, cool!

Golem: ~peers off ledge~

WW: ~falls on mat~

Masa: Hey, that's my mat! I'm going to sue someone for this! ~throws nugget o' joy~ Whoever this hits will get sued by me!

Golem: ~looking at Flutter~ What were you doing in the chi--~gets hit by nugget o' joy~ OW! ~loses balance, falls off o' roof onto mat~

Masa: ~looking at Golem~ I challenge YOU to a duel!

Golem: Eh?

Masa: Not really. I'll just sue you.

Golem: Oh. Hey, wait...

Flutter: I hate nuggets of joy. ~tosses nugget of joy off of roof~

Golem: ~gets hit in the head by falling nugget of joy~

...Later...

Masa is his own lawyer and is suing Golem. The judge is Ditto. There are five members of the jury, NBA All-Star Cal Ripken, a golf ball, and three seats.

~flashforward~

Masa: What?! This is nothing like that time.

Yoshiman: That reminds me of the time...

~flashback~ Vorpal: Learn the force, you must!

Yoshiman Skywalker: Forget that, I have to save... ~looks down at script~ ...my friends!

Slort-D2: Beep beep boop.

Masa: ~randomly pops into frame~ Yoshiman, I am your editor!

~flashforward~

Vorpal: That wasn't us!! ...Was it?

Masa: Wait, what timeline i sthis anyway?

GORE: I believe we are in the Good Future, considering the appearance of Old Golem and the fact that me and YY have yet to appear in any other OG taking place in this timeline except for Party Goers IX in which Yami is drawn from VGF to what might be this land, but that can be explained if you think that the person who contacted him was actually Old Golem in disguise who sought Yami's cheesecake, or it could take place in another timeline.

Yoshiman: ...What?

GORE: Sorry, I haven't said anything in a while.

Yoshiman: Okay, Golem, remind me why we're here?

Golem?: Well I plan to force you all to post in VGF Member OG 5 at VGF. All the "veteran" VGFMOG writers with the exceptions of Golem, Lupus, Fred, and you guys who've- never posted in a VGFMOG but will when I'm done with you have posted in it!

Vorpal: GORE, stop trying to imitate Golem.

Golem?: (takes off his "costume", which is actually just a paper plate mask with a crayon drawing on it and a scarf that's not even brown) @#%$!

Golem: Okay, now can you try to foil my evil plan or something? I desire attention!

Yami Yoshi: why should we? You're a shrimpy senior citizen dressed as a someteen-year old boy? What can you do?

*Golem takes off his scarf and ties one end to the right wall of the ship and the other end to the left wall of the ship. He then leans back against the outstretched center of the scarf as if it is a slingshot.*

Golem: I'll... (leans back further) ...show... (leans back even farther) ...you all.... (lenas back as far as hecan so he touches the back of the ship) ....what an old, yet evil, man can do!! (Golem let's go and the scarf propells him forward.) GOLEM MISSILE!!!

*Golem flies across the ship, grabbing each of the OGers as he passes them until they fly into the control room and smash the control panel into pieces, causing the ship's engine explodes as it quickly falls towards the Earth.*

Golem: Urgh... (speaks into a tape recorder) Note to self: Next time, use Golem Missile from the OTHER side of the ship.

Rhyk: ~busts into the sub... through a door~ Golem, we must use plan A immediately if we hope to reach our goal! I mean plan B!

Golem: Try again!

Rhyk: Alright, plan C!

Golem: Correctamundo! Adieu, ladies and gents!

~Golem wards off everyone by swinging around his heavy backpack as Rhyk runs out of the sub. Golem chases after Rhyk, who lifts off the ground with his jet feet, grabs Golem, and then speeds off into the sky.~

Masa: Is he going for more cheesecake?

Yami: My cheesecake stash!! He's heading for my cheesecake stash!!

*Kuria watches as the sub starts to fly away but then, an explosion rocks the front of the sub, and it starts to fall toward the earth*

Kuria: What did I get myself into?

Slort: Baga bo ganna!

Kuria: Those guys may need help! Let's go!

*Kuria's bow dematerializes into her hand in a brilliant aura of purple that lingers slightly on her hand until it fades away, she then starts running toward the impending crashsite*

Slort: Tact wolly! *trying to keep up with Kuria*

Kuria: Oh! Okay, come on little guy *picks up Slort and runs off again*

Golem

Yoshiman: We'regonnadiewe'regonnadiewe'regonnaDIIIIIIEEE!!!!

Vorpal: You don't make such a great villain.

Yoshiman: shut up...

Caykzor: I may have lost my size and powers, but I will still destroy you all!

Yami: Mmm... cheesecake *grabs Caykzor*

Caykzor: You can't do this to me! I'm the great CAY- *is eaten*

Masamune: Uh... the sub's still crashing!!!

Everyone: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! *sub crashes*

GolemLaterGolem

Kuria: Woah... is anyone here? Anyone hurt?

GORE: By a strange twist in fate, we're all okay, but the sub was utterly and completely destroyed.

Masamune: Who.. are you?

Kuria: My name's Kuria Eiren

Yami: Who cares!?!?! Golem's going for my cheesecake stash!!!

Kuria: What's the deal with you guys and cheeseca-

GORE: I WILL HAVE TO FORBID YOU FROM STOPPING GOLEM!!!!

Yami: What? Why?

GORE: I'm on his side remember?

Yami: I thought sides were eliminated when he *points to Yoshiman* came in as the bad guy!

Yoshiman: Oh, don't mind me! I'll let you kill each other off, and then complete my evil plans... I guess...

GORE: Excellent!

Masamune: Okay. Role call, who is on who's side?

Yami: Well. I got you and Vorpal...

Dodo: I'm on Masa's side, I guess...

Yami: .. and Dodo. >.>

GORE: I still have Slort!

Slort: Uuha ruu! *steps besides Kuria*

GORE: B-but... all of our plans... how could you?

Slort: Gruuba.

GORE: ... Fine!

Lupus: You all suck.

Vorpal: Right, Lupus is on his own side. Yoshiman too. What about you Kuria?

Kuria: Uhmm... who are the good guys? o_O

Everyone: We are/I am!

Kuria: Greeaat...

Yami: Anyways GORE, we outnumber you four to one!

GORE: ... those aren't good odds, are they?

Yami: Not at all.

GORE: ... ok LOOK. I'm getting a transmission. I have to rejoin Golem and Rhyk.... RIGHT THIS SECOND. *takes off*

Yami: *waits until he's gone* WHOA. He's gone. MAN, I thought we were TOAST.

Yoshiman: Drat, now I have to wait to invoke my evil scheme. D'argh!

Lupus: I want to steal more cheesecake.

Kuria: Uh... I guess we're teaming up then?

Yami: Yes. We shall call ourselves... The Gamehiker Members!

Masamune: What kind of wimpy name is that?

Yami: Sorry. It sounded good when I thought of it.

*suddenly a mysterious cloaked figure appears that isn't so mysterious and is attemptng to eat his cloak. His name? His name is Fred."

Fred: It is cold but I am hungry as well. I am off to destroy Hanson or somesuch, but I can't take in so much Ritz Bitz!

*Suddenly, a army of ninja attack him, except not really, I was kidding, it's boring and lonely being the asterisk guy and my phone number is-*

(stop that, you're fired. Golem runs up to Fred with Ryhk following him and notices the giant hammer he is holding)

Golem: Wait a tick. Hello sir, who you be intrested in being an evil lackey for a mastermind?

Fred: Well, It's sorta my calling. Where is said evil villain?

Golem: Bah, it's me! Don't you people bother to read everything any more?

Fred: I know the letters L, 7, and comma!

Ryhk: I am sensing incredibly low levels of intelligence and sense in this organism. I also don't sound like Spock. I really hope not.

Fred: Baaaaaaaaam!

Golem: Sure. Regardless, you must be rear guard for the attack that the one known as Yami Yoshi will inflict upon us. A good plan for you would be to hit them, as in, very hard. Do you understand?

Fred: I said, what's cooler than being cool?

Ryhk: This course of action may be fruitless.

Golem: Stop that, you are a clone of me and are like me

Fred: Who's the boss? OMG COSTELLO

Golem: First order - no talking when I'm around, this may mean your life, now hurry up, we've wasted enough time already.

Ryhk: Why am I not on meatshield duty this time?

Golem: You need to carry the cheesecake.

Fred: 40 Watts of LITRES! BE THERE!

Ryhk: also, something looked weird about GORE before we left.

Golem: Eh, it'll work out.

Ryhk: He seems to have gained a personality. His matrix doing that was basically out of the question and is highly illogical- ****, I hate this writer so much.

Golem: So much the better? Look, we're almost there, hurry up, I'm missing my soaps.

Fred: Anchovies approtcheth. Action? Y/N

Ryhk: Sir, running seems appropriate for this event.

(meanwhile, GORE runs from the gang and meets up with Fred, who promptly smashes him on the head because of a misunderstanding. Fred brandishes his hammer and clobbers Yami Yoshi in the stomach. Fred punches the suprised YY in the face and imbosses YY in the wall. Vorpal Catches up and brings out his blade while GORE tries to figure out what's going on. Vorpal ducks Fred's swing and stabs him in the arm. Fred pulls the blade out, seemingly not too badly hurt but with his mouth open, sharp teeth glistening as he smiles and laughs like a maniac, on the floor, but not dancing like he's never danced before. Fred picks Voorpal up and tosses him at Yami Yoshi (very hard, in case you needed to know) and then tosses a waffle at the ground that explodes and stops Dodo in his tracks. GORE runs to Golem at this point, figuring that's all that's important. Fred brandishes his shoe, and advances on Masamune. The stench of said shoe is potent enough to kill a zebra, and Masamune backs away because of the stench. Yami Yoshi gets up and tosses a dark egg at Fred's shoe, knocking it away. Fred quickly turns three times and lies down, asleep)

Yami Yoshi: What.

Vorpal: We should trash this guy.

(and trash they did, many beatings were given and Fred was tossed in a sewer to be proclaimed dead. Unfortunatly, nobody knew Fred was in the Canadian army, and when it followed "our" heroes, it found Fred, and he was wecked with a stick till he came to, spitting out grammy awards)

Fred: Arr, I'm Cristopher Reeves! Yar!

(Golem and Ryhk approch the final safe with GORE and prepare for it's opening. Yami and the gang make a run for the housewhile dodging traffic, and Lupus, well, who KNOWS I may or may not but you'll have to pay taxes before you get my fruit of knowledgeable fruit selling abilities.)

*Yami, Masa, Vorpal, Dodo, Kuria and Splog rush towards the cheesecake safe. They see no one outside.*

Kuria: Hey, where're the bad guys?

*The safe slowly opens and reveals GORE-ILLA, who is wearing a black cloak. He immediately tosses off the cloak and ignites a red, double-bladed laser sword.*

Vorpal: (turns to Masa) May this be the hour we draw swords together.

Masa: Sure, why not?

*Masa and Vorp draw their legendary swords and immediatley begind dueling GORE, the fight dragging on towards a bottomless pit which is located in the middle of the giant safe for no reason.*

Yami Yoshi: Hey! (siganls to Dodo, Kuria and Splog) What about us?

Golem: Oh yeah! Rhyk, perform Manuever Alpha Beta Zeta Omega Sky Dragon Assault Barrage Phase Quatra Prime!

Rhyk: (pushes them into the safe)

Golem: (seals the safe) Haha! Now that the safe can no longer be opened from the inside, we've accomplished our goal while losing only one member who was bound to eventually convert to the heroes' side, and we get away with all the boxes of cheesecake- wit, where'd our loot go?

*Elsewhere...*

Lupus: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAAA!!!!...1. Now that I'm done laughing, I wonder who stole that cheecake horde and why I didn't?

*Back in the sewers*

Fred: I seem to have found a large collection of boxes labeled "Yami Yoshi's Cheesecake", eh? These boxes could fetch a hefty price on the black market, but first I think I'll empty these boxes into the sewer system without any second thought or reason.

Canadian army: ~in unison~ Fred, I don't think that would be a wise decision.

Fred: Hey, who's the ozocerite here, you guys or me?

Canadian army: Anchovies approtcheth. Action? Y/N

Fred: Fred: Anchovies approtcheth. Action? Y/N

Canadian army: N/Y ?noitcA .htehctorppa seivohcnA

Sewer: We're gonna be here for a while...

Cheesecakes: Take us somewhere special, sewer! We want to see... the world.

Sewer: Whut3v3r.

~Elsewhere...~

Yami: How do we get out of here?!

Masa: I'mgonnadieI'mgonnadieI'mgonnadie! ~in an informative tone~ I'll be a Masasicle.

Vorpal: Wait, let's think this through logically. Arab Dude will eventually find me... and he hates my guts and will inevitably...

Safe: HELP!!!

Kuria: Hello? Anybody here? I need some cheesecake...

Vorpal: Didyoumakesuretoleavethedooropendidyou!!

~CLICK~

Yami: But Kuria, you were already in here.

Kuria: Would you accept "I forgot"?

Dodo: Waitaminute, isn't Kuria immune from the story's zaniness?

Golem: Oh, karp, this is a story, isn't it? Oop, I'd better get back to that whole plot thing! ~zips out of scene into this next scene~

Rhyk: I'm sensing some cheesecake underneath us. Sewers.

Golem: Let's find a manhole, quick!

Annoying Guy: No duh, Sherlock.

~Meanwhile, Rhyk has drilled to the sewer using a giant drill that comes out of his cap.~

*Rhyk's drill drills through the earth at an incredible velocity while Golem is being dragged by his scarf, on end of which is wrapped around Rhyk's foot and the other end in Golem's hand.*Rhyk then enters the sewers, pauses in midair, and floats above the sewer water with his jet boots in a dramatic fasion. At least it would've been dramatic except that as he he floated above the water, Golem had fallen into the drink with a heavy splash.*

Rhyk: Wait, where's the cheesecake?

Fred: Aye, some military-looking guys carted it away, eh? Then they was attacked by some Irish Dude who claimed the cheesecake belonged to some "League of Stereotypical Foreign Dudes", eh? And he carried them away in his bagpipes/sleeping back/sack for holding cheesecake and was beamed up to somewhere. ...Eh?

Golem: (splashing about) I've... suddenly lost all memory of knowning how to swim! Help! (sinks until he realizes that the water is less then ankle-deep)

Rhyk: Yah, whatever. We should see what's up with those furriners who done took our cheesecake, y'hear?

Golem: Rhyk...? Why'd you suddenly adapt a Western accent?

Rhyk: Uhhh....

*Rhyk quickly activates his jet boots at full speed, rocketing through the tunnel he created, and Golem, who just realized he's still hanging onto the scarf, is yanked up with him at amazing velocity.*

*Golem held on for dear life as he and Rhyk went through a narrow tube*

Golem: You're absoloutely mad! I nearly lost my GBASP!

Rhyk: Aye, drilling a hole with ye head c'n do that to a feller. Ahoy, skipper, look for land, I see birds and that is is a sign, I promise ye!

*Golem skids down the scarf a little, and sweats madly while looking for a way off, or maybe to make Rhyk speak normally again.*

Golem: Uh, Aye cap'n. Land ho and all that sort. The point is, stop, uh, matey.

Rhyk: What'choo call my muther? I'd just as soon throw you as stop you, sucka! Maybe dere's a way to have both! But easy on the chains!

*Rhyk stops suddenly, which makes Golem continue moving until he stops rather suddenly, 3 feet within the wall of the sewer*

Rhyk: Ahhh. Now 't find me sum milk. Don't mess with me 'foo!

(Of course, as soon as he says that, the Canadian Soldiers that had taken the cheesecake all jump at him at the same time, guns ablazing. One fires rapid-bananas at Rhyk, who gets one horribly wedged in his ear, but dodges the rest as he fends off a man with a gigantic spike on the end of his rifle made of pencil shavings. Rhyk grabs his neck, knees him, and throws him at a man attempting to state the laws of physics in reverse order, killing the two of them. He then overturns a table and fires his gun, which he continuously misses with and then ends up throwing at a man trying to kill him with a rather large hat. The man's mouth lost all his teeth to his stomach. Another man whipped Rhyk from behind with a pair of lederhosen, but rhyk grabbed it and wrapped it around his hand. The rest of the soldiers all fell silent and then went back into the depths of the sewers to play strip poker.)

Golem: Urgh, I did not just see all that. Regardless, I must press on, and ow, now it's all over my, leg, whatever it is. Rhyk! Curses! Rhyk! Ryhk.

(Rhyk approches him with spinning clown shoes balanced on his head)

Rhyk: I live to serve the Death of the Zerg!

Golem: Oh no, I have no competent minions now.

(All of a sudden, a giant lobster breaks out of the wall, and snaps at Golem)

Rhyk: NOT ZERG. LIFEFORM DESERVES LIFE.

Golem: I'm most certainly done for. Oh wait, cliche entrance time!

(Fred and GORE just sort of amble in)

Golem: You didn't destroy any walls on your way in. I have a reputation to uphold.

GORE: We've been trying that, but we kept getting the wrong room. We smelt seafood, and that's the only reason we're here.

Fred: Quazi-Frodo, You get and ring 'dem cottonbells!

Golem: Okay. Look, we have a guest. Entertain him.

GORE: Gotcha.

Fred: I do tricks, sing songs, and I even wear gloves! I'll entertain YOUR kids for one MAGIC night! Inquire at neverland ranch!

Golem: Just go, I have Rhyk to worry about, who's more important than you two put together.

(Fred dodges a giant lobster claw as GORE is caught, but Fred tosses his hammer and smashes open then claw, giving GORE enough time to smash the crustatean's brains out with his BARE HANDS just like megatron)

GORE: You with the brackets! We didn't need that last quip!

(Um, sorry? What's a quip?)

GORE: Gah!

(Instantly, Yami Yoshi breaks in with his "crew". That should hold 'em.)

GORE: Why you... What do you think you're doing here?

Yami Yoshi: I could probably ask you the same thing.

Masamune: hand over the cheesecake, we don't want to beat it out of you that badly.

Vorpal: Yeah, yes I think we do.

Fred: BBC 1! BBC -325.(+34) to the power of heart! GO PLANET!

GORE: Wait a second... How did you guys get out?

YY: It's elementary, good chap. We focused all our power into one strike, and when that didn't work we called a pizza guy and he let us out.

Fred: Take it to the FRIDGE!

Kuria: I'm still not clear as to why I'm here, but I've as they say gone with the wind.

Vorpal: Okay, but we're going to be having an awesomely coordinated fight scene in here. as soon as I hit the Fred dummy's neck, blood spurts EVERYWHERE.

GORE: Yeah. About that...

GORE's Hand: ...We can't use the blood-filled Fred dummy any more.

Vorpal: Wha--?! Why not?!

Fred Dummy: Because... I'm possessed! GOOOOOOSHHHHHHH!

GORE's Index Finger: No, you're not. ~shows Fred Dummy something on the script~

Fred Dummy: Right. ~becomes lifeless again~

GORE: We can't use it because it's made of cheesecake. It's a cherry cheesecake, to be specific, thus the "blood."

Yami: But... my cheesecake never has cherry in it. Just whose cheesecake could it be, then...?!

Masa: There's only one logical conclusion:

404 PAGE NOT FOUND

Golem: Wow, Masamune! That pretty much draws the story to a close, then!

THE END

Kuria: But the cheesecakes are getting away!!

Yami: Do you know where they're headed?!

Kuria: We can find that out easily... ~whips out a dirty gym sock from a pants/skirt (who knows which it is?? I certainly wouldn't dare to bother to look that up) pocket~ This is a cheesecake tracker. Just our luck, it has to be embedded in cherry cheesecake to work.

GORE: It ONLY works inside cherry cheesecake?

Kuria: Well, okay, it only works inside Fred dummies. And the sock will definetely ignore the fact that the Fred dummy is a cheesecake itself. While I install the sock, why don't you help yourself to a fighting sequence?

Part 4

~GORE whistles and suddenly out marches three beefy men rippling with muscles and standing at a good three foot tall each. They are all dressed in green~

Fred: When did we get them?

GORE: The guy with the tildes gave them to me, unlike Mr. Brackets.

(Grrr....)

Masamune: Oh wow, I'm really scared.

Leprechaun: *grabs Masamune by his collar and brings him down to his eye level* What was that!?

Masamune: o_o I meant... WHOA! You guys look tough!

Leprechaun: That's what I thought girly. *lets go*

Masamune: *turns to Yami* Okay, thanks to the process of eliminating side characters, it's down to you, Vorpal, Kuria, Lupus, and I. The rest of our allies mysteriously fell into a plot hole.

~Meanwhile~

Dodo: Aiiiieeeee!

Slort: UGNOOOOO!!!

Dodo: You seriously can't be screaming in another language.

Slort: Ugno.

Dodo: *sigh*

~Elsewhere~

Yami: So it's five against five...

Lupus: I'm pacifict, I don't believe in fighting.

Yami: You blew up Canada three times this month alone.

Lupus: My -minions- blew up Canada. Do I look like a minion?

Yami: Fine, four on five...

Vorpal: Wait, you can split into two people, Masamune. Remember?

Masamune: No I can't.

Vorpal: Uh, yes. You can. You do it all the time.

Masamune: Eh heh... no.

Vorpal: I remember clearly in Party Goers 17-

Masamune: You're mistaken.

Vorpal: Fine! FINE! Whatever. In Two Towers they had like 100 men against 10,000 orcs, we can handle this.

Yami: There were elves too.

Vorpal: Not in the book!

Lupus: And they had a dwarf.

Vorpal: So?

Masamune: Stands to reason. We don't got a dwarf.

Vorpal: There's only five of them!

Masamune: And there's only four of us NON-DWARVES.

Vorpal: I don't believe this!

Yami: Maybe we could hire a dwarf.

Vorpal: *through teeth* We're not hiring a dwarf.

Kuria: Hey umm, the bad guys are kind of getting impatient.

Mysterious Voice: Well I'm not a side character.

Masamune: Huh, where did you come from?

MV: I have my ways.

Lupus: Interesting. I think.

Yami: Maybe it's a dwarf!

MV: No.. you're mistaken. I'm here to lend my services, if the price is right.

Kuria: Well.. we are about to enter some battle of epic porportions. We -could- use the extra help..

Vorpal: What, we aren't hiring anybody!

Masamune: I'll sign your contract if you sign mine.

MV: I'm not that stupid.

Masamune: *snaps fingers* Darn. Well then who are you and what do you want?

Yami: Yeah, before the bad guys try to hire him.

Vorpal: We aren't hiring! I can handle this! I'm... SUPERMAN!

[Nothing happens]

MV: ...

Kuria: Uh.. so as we were saying, what's the offer? ^_^

MV: First of all, I'm not a 'him'. *glares at Yami, then looks back to Masamune* Now before I lend my services, you my friend owe me an apology.

Masamune: What?

*flashback*

Mysterious Voice: Good... now it is time to reveal myself... *pulls off cloak and voice warper*

Everyone: Sapphire!?

Masamune: Wait a second. Sapphire can't be in this OG.

Sapphire: Yes I can! This is my sub!

Masamune: True. But you have to be introduced by your writer. Note: Your writer doesn't do fun stuff anymore.

Sapphire: B-but!

Vorpal: *shakes head*

Masamune: ..Wait. You're...

MV: *takes off disguise to reveal..*

All: The Lady in Red?

Masamune: Still not Sapph, so it doesn't count.

Lady in Red: Do you want my help or not? *dons a dramatic pose* The enemy approaches!

Lupus: I'll just sit back here and watch as you all get killed.

Kuria: ...

Vorpal: ....Errrr....

Yami: What were we about to do again?

Narrator: Looks like I came back from vacation just in time to announce the matchups! We have...

Yami Yoshi Vs. Leprechaun 1! Vorpal Vs. Leprechaun 2! Masamune Vs. Leprechaun 3! Kuria Vs. GORE-ILLA! Lady In Red Vs. Fred!

Narrator: (ctd) With that out of the way, I ring a gong behind me and annouce, "Let's get reasy to rumble!" All the fights then begin- whit, what's up with GORE and Fred? They're just standing around.

Kuria: Hello?

Fred: I can't hit girls, I forgot how to.

GORE: I'm not allowed to, and besides, Vorpal would kill me.

Lady In Red: Then let's wrap this up quickly!

Narrator: So-

Censor Man: -Lady In Red and Kuria take advantage of the guys' weaknesses and pummel them before stuffing them into a mailbox! That's two battles down off the bat!

Narrator: You again? I thought you died!

Censor man: Yeah, well I didn't! Thanks for getting rid of my car brakes anyway!

Narrator: That's it, add one more fight to the match-ups!

~Yami narrowed his eyes at L1~

Yami: You got a name, punk?

L1: That I do, lad. They call me Misfortune.

Yami: I though leprechauns are lucky.

Misfortune: And I thoughts yoshis only said 'yoshi'.

Yami: That's a lie! Okay, Missy! It's on, I'm taking you d-

Misfortune: *socks him in the nose*

Yami: Ooooow!!! What was that for!?

Misfortune: Calling me missy.

Yami: >_< Man, you bad guys always take everything too far... I think my nose is bleeding!

Misfortune: I didn't hit it that hard.

Yami: *tries to breathe through nostrils* I canftt breaff!

Misfortune: ...

Yami: I needf a medicff!

Misfortune: Jeez, I barely flicked it!

Yami: I fink it'ff brokenff!

Misfortune: I'm sorry, jeez!

Yami: *sniffs in agony* Owwwfff....

Narrator: Matchup numero dos! It's Vorpal Vs...

(Vorpal quickly cuts the leprecaun in half)

Narrator: Fine, match number three and a bit, Masamune Vs THELEPRECAUN - ok, there, you can kill him.

Leprecaun: Aye, they all be after me -

(Masamune bashes him in the face and throws his sword into the air, spinning. the air lands blade down on the man's heart)

Narrator: Next up is... What the heck. Nobody is left. Oh wait, Yami Yoshi.

Misfortune: I'ma cut you up so bad, ye wish I 'ad'unt cut you up so bad.

Yami: Um, aye lass?

Misfortune: YE CANNAE CALL ME LASS SIRE

Yami: No, wait, we've certainly done this joke before.

Misfortune: Aye, 'tis too bad. Now, ye gotta get crushed.

Yami: Yeah. About that -

(Before Yami can reply, the Leprechaun picks him up by the legs and punches him, as in, really, REALLY hard. YY spins vertically for about five seconds, and then is slammed into the ground. He looks up, hazy, and spots the man's bottom. YY rolls left and through the blur equal to that of a Rosie O'donnell show, YY manages to kick the man in the stomach and stumble backwards, quickly. The man leaps, but Yami rolls right, and the man flies into a pipe, which he is stuck in. Yami Yoshi throws his trademark "Dark egg", which vaporizes the man in a terrible, painful manner)

Lady In Red: Okay, if you're done.

(While she speaks, a mail box tries to jump away slowly)

LIR: No. No you don't. You're the hostages, you tell us things.

GORE: Okay, but my liver is sort of stuck in my kidney and er... aren't I a robot?

Fred: Oxygen tastes like everything EXCEPT Cd key generation!

Narrator: Oh, yeah. I should probably beat up that censor guy. What a FOOL wait, what did I?

Censor man: You cannot beat me. BLEEP OUT!

Narrator: Bleep! BLEEP! (Censored)eep!

Censor Man: Now I RULE!

Kuria: Should we um, uh,

Yami: Question them?

Vorpal: Cut them?

Masamune: Strip search? What?

LIR: Regardless of what we end up doing, we might as well agree to dispose of them.

Fred: HA! YOU FOOLS! I CALL THE ENTIRE LAKERS TEAM SO THAT WE MAY ESCAPE!

Vorpal: Cut them?

Narrator: BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Censor Man" Augh! What're you doing? Let go!

Director: I sigh and hand the script to the Narrator Newbie woith instructions to continue the story.

Narrator Newbie: W-who, me? Alright... so Censor Man has just been chokeslammed on the ground by Narrator, but Censor Man fights back by whacking him in the face with a folded chair-

Director: "NOT THAT PART, YOU IDIOT!" I shout in anger from my director's chair as I wave a mug of coffee bearing the Gamehiker Member OG logo about. "You need to progress the story!"

Narrator Newbie: Alright, so Yoshiman faces off with Lucky...

Correct-o: DING Incorrect. You must be a total idioty to confuse Yami Yoshi with YoshiMan, considering the fact that they have completely differant skin colors. Also note the lack of Yoshiman's trademark red shorts and perhaps you will be thinking on a pre-kindergarten level. Need I get started on "Misfortune" being referred to as "Lucky"?

Narrator Newbie: Whatever. So then Yami Yoshi and the leprechaun start fighting or something, but according to this, in the story's ending-

Director: "DA**IT!" I shout aloud before turning to Censor Man as he was trapped in a headlock and shouting, "Hey, you're only supposed to censor onstage!" Then, returning my attention to Narrator Newbie, I continued, "You can't flip to the end of the script or reveal SPOILERS!" Narrator Newbie then ran off crying while I snatched the script back and annouced, "Can't ANYONE read this script?"

Seto Kaiba: I can read an Egyptian God Card!

*Seto is sucked down a hole, thus allowing me the job.*

(That's it **, I've had enough of your meddling!)

*BRING IT ON!*

[I also jump in and start beating them all. Who's only good for BBCode tags now, ma?]

Director: "...Alright, will someone just take the script?" I ordered and not a second later (it was 8799) a bulky, green-clothed man swiped it out of my hands. "And just who are you?"

Irish Dude: Why I be your new Narrator! But first I just need to edit a few little things with permanent marker... Heh heh heh...

Masamune: *without emotion* Oh no. I think we have been defeated. I surrender.

Yami: *emotionless* Me too.

Misfortune: Aye, we are the victors!

Gore: We..... won?

Lupus: Hey! Mune, Vorp, Yami! Whaddya doing!?

Yami: There is no point, we will be defeated.

Fred: Booya!

Lady in Red: *emotionless* I surrender too.

Lupus: Someone has messed with the plot. Which can only mean... *rubs an eraser against the wall* A plot hole! *grabs his zombie-like companions and drags them through.

GolemMeanwhileGolem

Irish Dude: Curse that Lupus! I forgot to rewrite him. Oh well, no matter. *rips off mask*

Golem: I'll have my revenge, soon enough! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Golem: But first, I shall see how long it takes for a golden nugget to melt in the microwave.

~Golem produces golden nugget from a huge Yoda Pez dispenser nearby and sets off for Yami's sewerly cheesecake.

Meanwhile, in Trippy Plot Hole Zone v3.0, Lupus and company float amidst Kool-Aid flavored stripes...~

Masamune: ~nagging tone~ Where are we?

Lupus: I've brought you to the place.

Waiter 1: Would you like some wine with that, sir? We have--

Waiter 2: ~shoves Waiter 1~ I'm better than him! Don't listen to him! He spouts lies and pink bunnies!!!

Waiter 1: Do NOT! ~coughs, a purple bunny comes out of mouth~ I was here first, so go away!!

Lupus: Quick, to the Random Goodyear Blimp of Solitude!

~Everyone, save the waiters, gleefully hops inside a passing Goodyear Blimp~

Lupus: Now, I can ask... what have they done to you?!

Lady in Red: It's these new-fangled Tomagotchis!!

Yami Yoshi: ~looking at Tomagotchi~ AAAHHHH!!!!

~Yami Yoshi jams his thumb down on "feed" button in rapid succession. Everyone gets behind Yami Yoshi and watches, mouths gaping open.~

Vorpal: You can do it!

~Kuria stands at the front of the sub, guiding it through invisible highways using a steering wheel.~

Lupus: Gasp! You remain untouched by the Tomagotchi spell?

Kuria: If we take this next exit, we can arrive at the runaway cheesecake stash AND meet Golem before he manages to stick a golden nugget in the microwave!

~Suddenly, honking is heard from behind. It's Waiter 1, and he's in a hummer--!~

Waiter 1: GWAR HAR HAR!! ~pulls hummer up next to Goodyear blimp, knocks it off the invisible road and drives into the exit~

Kuria: ...

Lupus: This is the part where I--

~Just then, Waiter 2 pulls up beside the blimp in a bicycle.~

Waiter 2: No peoples at the size of Fred. Peoples of this size will cause tunnel collapse for no reason. If you can beat ME in a race, I'll let you exit the Trippy Plot Hole Zone v3.0!

Lupus: But, good sir, I plot hole'D us into this place, I can very well manage to plot hole us out!

Kuria: Shut up! You're on, Waiter 2!!

Fred: Oh, dear I happen'd to step in the tunnel!

Speilburg: No, I need something with more, motivation!

Fred: LAND LOCK TRIP LIPSTICK TRICK WICK BURNT ON

Speilburg: You're Fired.

Waiter (-7): There's no time to waste! We must wait 5 years, quickly, before we run out of time!

Lupus: I use Rasp!

Waiter (-7): No you don't. You activate my CURRY DISH retaliation aphod impersonator!

Golem: Oh, yes, this golden nugget will - Dang, out of MP. KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE

Over There: Terribly sorry sah.

Golem: No, you're not. And another thing-

(suddenly the christmas ham appears)

Christmas Ham: Attack, my grammerless frisbees!

Frisbees: YES WE WILL AND JUST DI D LOOK I DID IT MA

Golem: This really, really needs to stop.

Gigantic ghost clam: Are you sure? It could all be yours! For the low low-

John Cleese: You there! Stop it, Stop it I say! This is getting awfully silly and-ahhhhhgh (JCleese spontaneously combusts)

Paper cup: Avast at ye, Rocket Robin hood! Your futuristic toothpicks have defeated my Jehovah's witness pamphlet distributors once again! Dang you I say!

Waiter 2: Sure. READY SET GO THEN COLLECT 200$

Kuria: Okay. Fine.

Lupus: I say he cheated and REFUND'D ME TAXES

Yami Yoshi: Um, what's going on. Are there any windows in this thing?

Lupus: That's the beauty of it. You can't see out from in but you can see in from out.

Masamune: Well, I'm afraid there's only one way to win this then, right Vorpal?

Vorpal: Um, I can't possibly be thinking what you are thinking. That's not even slightly in question.

Masamune: we're going to kill Waiters 1 and 2 and 17 and blue version.

Vorpal: Ah. Actually, now that you say it, that's what I had thought of.

(The two swordsmen slice open the one way door and quickly lock up the spokes on their opponent's bike. It gives out but turns into a washing machine and fires gravy at Masamune, knocking him back into the blimp. Vorpal slices the machine in half and it transforms into a camel spinning on it's head, which is much faster.)

Masamune: This does reek.

Vorpal: There's only one way to win this.

(Lupus instantly erects a wall made of Smores behind the blimp, trapping the waiters, as Yami Yoshi Calls Fred's beeper. (the number was on his shoe) and quickly Fred steps into the tunnel which gives out and crushes the two waiters, who were going to destroy the wall with housecoat in a can)

Kuria: We did it!

Waiter (-7): arr, that ye did. But you'll never escape alive!

Waiter (blue version): they did. look there.

(a note was left on a chair in a pear tree saying they had escaped.)

Waiter (-7): Arr, that they did. nobody listens to me, not even to me songs of the sea.

Golem: What? Where, where am I? Where are they? All I know is that, I had the cheesecake! Muahahahahahha! cough, gack, urk. That's really hard on the tonsils.

Narrator: BLEEP BLEEP BLE-upid Censor Man... wait.. I'm back? *cough* Anyway, after an exciting race between the Random Goodyear Blimp of Solitude and Waiter 2 on a bicycle, the Gamehiker Members' Blimp was sucked through a rift in the Trippy Plot Hole Zone v3.0 landing back in the sewer, still littered with Canadian troops.

(The Gamehiker Members fall through the rift without the blimp, into the sewer water)

Kuria: Ewww...

Vorpal: I miss that Tamogatchi

Masamune: *sniff* yeah....

Kuria: What was with you guys and that Tamogatchi?

Everyone: *shrugs*

Yami Yoshi: How come you didn't?

Kuria: That's what I'd like to know...

*dramatic music*

Vorpal: Sooooo.... cheesecake?

Canadian soldier: Now wait right there, eh? *pointing gun at group* I'm under strict orders to guard these here sewers with my life, eh? Can't let none of you have the cheesecake, eh?

Masamune: What's one little Canadian soldier gonna do against us?

*Canadian soldier shoots Lupus in the leg*

Lupus: AAAAUGH! Ow ow ow ow! Hey... you shot me! YOU SHOT ME! ... I can't believe you just did that you SHOT ME!!! *gets shot in other leg* AAAACK!!! STOP DOING THAT!

CS: You're all coming with me, eh? Now put your hands in the air where I can see 'em, eh?

~Golem, Rhyk, and GORE walk up from behind the Canadian soldier.~

Golem: Where's your cheesecake NOW, Yami?! It's in my secret hideout below the Microwave Plant!! (Take the first door to your left, go all the way down the stairs, then jump on the second tile from the left and second tile from the top!) Now you're DEFENSELESS!

Yami: NOOO! Without my cheesecake, I am powerless!

Kuria: No you aren't!

CS: I _SAID_, all hands AND feet AND torsos in the air! Wait, what did I say?

Masa: So, Golem... what do you plan to do to us?!

Golem: Well, I... uhh... I hadn't really got this far in planning. ...Rhyk?

Rhyk: Well, we could go over our pig calls.

GORE: All right!! Count me in!!

Golem: Suuuuu-EE!

Rhyk: No, no, more like this: Bee, Eye, En Jee Oh!

Yami Yoshi: NOOO! I can feel my power being drained!

~Next time on The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto...~

Knuckles: Sonic! Maybe you can use your Light Speed Dash on the line of rings to cross the chasm!

Sonic: Okay! ~grabs one ring, falls to death~

18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)Golem 18:32, 7 April 2007 (MDT)

*The Gamehiker OGers cover their ears and make a mad dash for the microwave plant. However, their path is blocked by GORE-ILLA.*

GORE-ILLA: Stop right- oof!

*The OGers all punch GORE at the same time, knocking him out.*

Golem: Rhyk! Do something!

Rhyk: Well, we could go over our pig calls.

GORE: All right!! Count me in!!

Golem: Suuuuu-EE!

Rhyk: No, no, more like this: Bee, Eye, En Jee O-

Golem: Wait, we almost got stuck in a loop there! Now go and get those OGers!

Rhyk: Well, we could go over our pig calls.

GORE: All right!! Count me in!!

Golem: Okay, stop! Just... attack them!

Rhyk: Right.

*Rhyk jets off after the OGers.*

Golem: You too, GORE!

GORE: All right!! Count me in!!

Golem: Stop that.

*GORE jets after the otehr OGers.*

Lady in Red: I can talk, _remember_?

Yami: Ah, shatmuck, Rhyk is gaining on us! What do we do?

Rhyk: You were able to knock out GORE when you all punched him at once. Tra la la~!

Yami: Hmm, I'm going to try something... this just might work!

~Yami then proceeds to jump forward as fast as he can on one foot, then placing his other foot forward, and as it hits the ground, jumps with that foot, then placing the first foot forward.~

Yami: YES! It WORKED!

Vorpal: What did you do?

Yami: I invented running! Walking with ATTITUDE!

~A few seconds later, Rhyk and GORE catch up with the Gamehikers--that's what I'm calling them now--and tackle them in the air. However, their jets do not quit until they bust through a styrofoam wall into a bustling lobby, where they all land comfortably on couches.~

Masa: So THIS is what a microwave plant looks like. I thought it was going to be like Donald Trump's hair.

Styrofoam: Remember kids: I may not be biodegradable, but I sure as heck ruin the environment.

*Yami Yoshi, Masamune, Vorpal, Lady in Red, Lupus and Kuria all run from the sofa room as GORE and Rhyk awaken. The Gamehikers wind up in a huge factory filled with converyor belts and furnaces. Vorpal follows a conveyor belt carrying dead bodies. The dead bodies disappear into a machine, and microwaves come out the other side. Vorpal lifts the microwave and screams.*

Vorpal: IT'S PEOPLE! MICROWAVES ARE MADE OUT OF PEOPLE! THEY'RE MAKING OUR MICROWAVES OUT OF PEOPLE! NEXT THING THEY'LL BE BREEDING US LIKE CATTLE FOR MICROWAVES! YOU'VE GOTTA TELL THEM. YOU'VE GOTTA TELL THEM!

*Before Vorpal can continue ranting, Rhyk and GORE bust into the room. Yami Yoshi holds up a finished mocrowave which he has plugged into the wall.*

Yami Yoshi: Ha! Microwaves kill robots!

*Yami smashes the microwave door and turns it on. It emits glowing microwaves, but GORE and Rhyk put on shades. For some reason the microwaves bounces off the shades and hits Yami's eyes.*

Yami: AHHH I'M BLIND!!

*Yami stumbles around blindly until he falls onto the conveyor belt of dead people. Then he feels comfortable and falls asleep. Rhyk and GORE then fly towards Vorpal and Masamune. Lady in Red runs to Yami's aid, but her path is blocked by Golem.*

Golem: Long time no see, Saph.

*Lupus sees everyone distracted and slips away in search of the cheesecake horde. But Kuria spots and follows him.*

Golem: ~spots Kuria and Lupus~ Hey, Rhyk, a little help!

~Before Lady in Red can react, Vorpal is swung back-first into Lady in Red's torso, and they both slam up against the wall. Golem chases Kuria, but notices Yami Yoshi on the belt and stops, stuffs a golden nugget in his (Yami Yoshi's) mouth, and then continues the chase. Lupus looks behind him and sees Kuria and Golem, and stops and turns around, menacingly holding up a Febreeze spray bottle, his index finger on the hair trigger.~

Lupus: Now... nobody wants to get hurt... just let me get the cheesecake and leave.

Golem: No way!

~Golem reaches into his backpack and pulls out a Swiffer mop the size of a Buster Sword. Seconds later, Fred drops in from the ceiling.~

Fred: Corndog... uh, uh, BEE!

~A corndog with a bee on the end of it drops down from the ceiling and lands in Kuria's hand.~

Kuria: What?!

Bee: ~shrugs~

Part 5

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Golem, Lupus and Kuria all activate their weapons at once; the result is a nuclear blast which wipes out the entire Microwave Plant. When the dust settles, all that is seen is piles of rubble. Then Masamune crawls out.*

Masamune: I had the strangest dream taht a bee stung me and I switche dbodies with it... it almost feels like peering into another forum long gone...

Vorpal: (crawls out) Okay, who's still alive?

Yami Yoshi: (spits out gold nugget) I think I am.

Kuria: Ugh, all this radiation is getting to my head...

Fred: Luckiliy these jagged shards of metal broke my fall!

Lady in Red: It looks like the bad guys didn't make it!

*Golem, GORE and Rhyk leap out of the rubble and dash off.*

Lady in Red: At least that Lupus guy is (most likely) gone...

Yami Yoshi: Wait a second! Where'd my cheesecake go? They're durable enough to withstand a blast from the Death Star!

Masamune: Well those guys didn't have it.

Yami Yoshi: (narrows eyes) Come on, guys. We have a Turk to catch.

Author: Golem

Lupus: ~panting heavily~ Ski lift's out again... Let me help!

Yami Yoshi: ~un-narrows eyes quite heroicly~ Where are my cheesecakes?!

Lupus: Aboard the DEATH STAR!!

Kuria: How did you manage that?!

Lupus: That doesn't matter! For I and I alone will blast the Death Star with itself, thereby destroying Yami's cheesecake stash!

Yami Yoshi: Hah! That's where you're wrong! My cheesecakes are durable enough to withstand a blast from the Death Star!

Lupus: Hold on, you didn't let me finish! The cheesecakes will then be cast in all directions by the explosion and burn up in the atmosphere above earth, providing a cheesecakey goodness for all to enjoy in the sky!! Evil villain laugh!!

Vorpal: Exclamation points!!!

Masamune: Hey, look guys! There's the Death Star!

~Masamune points up into the sky at a hot air balloon carrying Yami's cheesecakes in a large bag strapped to the bottom of the... what do you call it?... the bottom of the part where you ride in a hot air balloon.~

Author: GORE-ILLA

Masamune: That doesn't look much like the Death Star.

Lupus: It's a compact. So my threat still stands!

Yami Yoshi: How are we gonna get up there in time?!

*A Flying Sub pulls up.*

Yoshiman: Need a ride?

Kuria: Sure- wait, you're that villain from before, aren't you?

Yoshiman: I am? I can't really remember.

Vorpal: Whatever, just drive us up to the Death Star.

Yoshiman: No prob!

*The Flying Sub takes off.*

Lady in Red: Um... you forgot us.

*The Flying Sub drives back*

Yoshiman: Oh, sorry. Now let's go!

*Yami Yoshi, Masamune, Vorpal, Lady in Red, Kuria and Fred all pile into the Flying Sub with Yoshiman and quickly arrive at the Death Star. Yami leaps into the hot-air balloon's basket and lunges for the cheesecake pile, only to discover that it's only a yellow tarp. And underneath is...*

Toad: Sorry, but the cheesecake is in another castle.

Lupus: (shouting up through cupped hands) Sorry, did I say Death Star? I meant my Floating Death Fortress! I should kinda get there before you get to the cheesecake!

*Lupus leaps onto a bicycle with sails attached to it and quickly peddles to the floating fortress. Yami rushes back to the Flying Submarine. The Sub arrives at the Death Fortress, and everyone rushes out except for Yoshiman, who leaves to work on his ship-in-a-bottle. They immediately chase Lupus, who had just arrived, through the corridors in some humorous fashion. But three other figures sneak out of the sub and slink in the shadows.*

Golem: We can't let them get away with that cheesecake! Right, cyborgs?

Rhyk/GORE: Yes sir!

*Soon the Gamehikers have cornered Lupus a huge antechamber where the cheesecake reserves are piled up. Lupus dives into the cheesecakes and swims through them.*

Lupus: Yes, yes, look at all the beautiful cheesecake! All mine!

Vorpal: Yami, what are you standing around for? This is our chance to clobber him!

Yami: Wait! I... remember something...

Flashback: *Yami Yoshi flings the Nuclear Egg at GORE, who swings his stick like a baseball bat. It strikes the Nuclear Egg and sends it flying into the far distance to only to finally land later in the story when everypne's forgotten about it to serve an important person. Or it got sucked into a jet engine and shredded, whatever.*

Yami: ...Nah! It definately got sucked into a jet engine. But if it didn't, my surprisingly accurate calculations predict that it would land right...

*A Nuclear Egg falls through the ceiling, and straight towards the cheescake pile.*

Yami: Crap.

Lupus: (looks up) Huh?

*The Nuclear Egg smashes into the pile and creates a massive super-explosion. When the dust settles, all that can be seen is a huge-ass Caykzor with Lupus's hair.*

Caykzor the Turk: Final battle time? Feels kinda early, though.

Author: Vorpal

Masamune: I guess that depends on whether we get bored with this story or not, and leave it for dead...

*Everyone stops and turns their head looking straight at you sitting at the computer*

Vorpal: Anyway... final battle or not, I say we take care of this cheesecake theif!

Yami/LiR/Kuria: Right!

*Masamune, Vorpal, Yami, Lady in Red and Kuria all assemble into a nifty fighting pose*

Fred: Oh, look at the interesting wallpaper... oh... right! *slowly walks into place with the other five and does a half-hearted wimpy looking pose*

Caykzor the Turk: Are you quite finished yet?

Vorpal: Just a sec...

CtT: What are you waiting for?

Vorpal: Some nifty colorful lines to appear behind us in some cheap anime-way

CtT: ~Glare~

*As those seven stand waiting for the final battle to begin, Golem, Rhyk and GORE make their way for the remaining un-NUKEd cheesecake*

~Several minutes later~

CtT: Look... I don't have the time fo-

Vorpal: >_< Just a little longer.....

CtT: ~sigh~

Author: Golem

Yami Yoshi: Alright, final battleness will come whether or not the lines of which Vorpal types can come and be our guest today on Regis and Kelly Rippa!!

~A red cheesecake levitates while spinning, then stops spinning and shoots right into Yami Yoshi's body. He runs around in three circles before dashing to Caykzor the Turk.

There, Vorpal and CtT glow slightly, both slapping the other, with a third of the cheesecakes along their side of the arena gone. Masamune shoots a bullet from his shoe straight through the top layer of an unsuspecting CtT immediately before Kuria shoots an arrow into the hole that the bullet made, leaving Lady in Red free to look at his back the wrong way, Introbulus to follow up with a punch and then leave while Masamune throws Fred's shoes, CtT throws a die-cast sculpture of one of those channel knobs from a really old TV, and dust bunnies watch. CtT stands still to hold Vorpal still, but his glow is fading. He then lets Vorpal follow through and shove him backwards, but CtT just pulls up his knees and slides under Vorpal. CtT runs towards where he saw the red soul before, but Yami Yoshi gets in his way with a Mummification Egg. CtT taps it aside with his hand while Vorpal hitts another punch to CtT's head, knocking him to the ground. It is from there that CtT gets a better view of the background, especially noting the fact that the red cheesecake is gone.~

Caykzor the Turk: You--you--insignificant...

~Suddenly, an icy chill fills the air, instantly freezing water in the air to the arena ground and to the OGers. Everyone stands intact, albeit very cold. Yami Yoshi is the exception, for he lies prostrate on the ground, the red cheesecake floating above him. CtT gets up and kicks Yami Yoshi in the stomach while everyone watches. Yami Yoshi does nothing. He checks Yami's heartbeat. Very slow and weak. Vorpal bolts for the red cheesecake, but CtT intercepts by throwing his entire body at Vorpal's torso. They both fall to the ground, and CtT gets up quicker, his foot on Vorpal's chest. The other OGers gather around the red cheesecake.~

Caykzor the Turk: REALLY BIG THING!!

~A fiery orange aura surrounds CtT and immediately explodes. At this moment, Vorpal and Kuria are beholding the red cheesecake in their hands as Masamune and Lady in Red hold Yami in their hands, looking at the red cheesecake as well. Fred is leaping into the group, his jaw miliseconds away from chomping down on the red cheesecake. The aura encases them, but they are all unharmed. Vorpal punches Fred in the fingernail, throwing him slightly off course and into Kuria, who does not budge and ends up supporting Fred as he falls. The aura recedes into Caykzor the Turk.~

CtT: The... the, um... something worked!!

Yami Yoshi: Like a charm. Now blow up.

Author: GORE-ILLA

Caykzor the Turk: That's not a nice thing to say! I'm not sure what's going on anyways. Oh, and do you think "Lupus the Caykzor" sounds better? I dunno. Now where was I? Ah yes, your impending doom.

*Caykzor stomps towards the Gamehikers. Vorpal looks towards Kuria a few times.*

Vorpal: Oh... what the heck!

*Vorpal grabs Kuria and passionately kisses her on the lips. Kuria stares at Vorpal and then kisses him back.*

Yami: Oh, get a room! Now where can I get some passionate love?

*Yami looks towards Lady in Red and, with a malicious grin on his face, leaps forward and kisses her on the lips. Lady in Red glares at Yami and pulls out an umbrella. She presses a button to make a blade extend from it. Yami slowly backs away and bumps into Masamune and Fred, who are also passionately kissing.*

Yami: Now that's just wrong.

*Another stomp snaps the Gamehikers out of their romances as they realize that Caykzor the Turk is finishing his needlessly long march.*

Masamune: How can we defeat this thing?!

Yami: I know! It's just food!

*Yami extends his tongue to grab Caykzor, but instead his tongue sticks to the cheesey flesh, and Caykzor then starts towing Yami in for absorption. Luckily all the others grab the dinosaur and pull until his tongue tears free.*

Yami: Yuck! The radiation poisoning really drained the flavor.

Lady in Red: Quit hogging all the lines.

Fred: Let's, uh, hit him!

*Caykzor is about to attack when he turns around to see Golem overseeing GORE and Rhyk as they attempt to use a pump to drain his cheese. The Turk reaches down and grabs them, and then he whips them up into the air above him.*

Golem & Rhyk: Looks like Team Golem's blasting off agaaaaaain!

GORE: MEOWTH!!!

*They disappear in a DING, but since Caykzor the Turk tossed them directly upward, they fall down the same way and land back in the chamber.*

Golem: Hey! Nice aim!

*Caykzor the Turk's tongue shoots out and wraps around Golem, then pulls him into his mouth and absorbs him to gain a mustache. Don't ask. GORE and Rhyk dash away in horror.*

Masamune: Hey! I just remembered, we have legendary swords!

Vorpal: Yeah, that might help.

Fred: Hey, what about this red cheesecake?

Yami: I think it's supposed to be some soul or something.

Caykzor the Turk: Who's next?

*Caykzor looks from person to person until he stops at Kuria, who is checking her quiver for more arrows and pie. He leaps across the room to her. Like all heavy creatures in video game and video game-based online stories, his landing causes vibrations that cuase Kuria to temporarily freeze and drop her quiver.*

Caykzor: This is for hurting me with your blasted pie!

*Caykzor lashes his tongue out, it wraps around Kuria and starts to pull her in like Golem before. However, Vorpal dashes across and slices through the cheese-tongue at the middle. Kuria drops to the ground, and the severed part of the tongue dissolves.*

Vorpal: Good ol' cliche romantic rescues! We should do this again sometime.

*Caykzor lifts his foot to stomp down on the unsuspecting Vorpal, but Kuria tackles him out of the way.*

Kuria: How about now?

Caykzor the Turk: Now that's just cheesey. Oh crap, I made a pun didn't I?

*GORE and Rhyk run up to the Gamehikers.*

GORE: Speakingf of cliche ideas-

Rhyk: I don't think Golem would like this.

GORE: Shut up! Speaking of cliche ideas, you know how sometimes heroes and villains are forced to work together to beat some bigger force?

Yami: (sighs) Sure, hop aboard.

GORE: Excellant! Now let's take down this pastry monster!

Yami: Y'know GORE, in another OG I could have called you friend.

GORE: Are you coming onto me?

Yami: Does EVERY line in this post have to be romantic?!

Fred: (hands Masa a paper with a number scrawled on it) Call me! (aside to Yami) He won't call.

Caykzor the Turk: That's it! Let's get this over with!

Author: Golem

GORE: Rhyk let's show that cake what-for!

Rhyk: Yes, Mr. Z/Xanatos. I mean, ~runs up to CtT and lunges right at it, getting sucked in almost instantly~

Everyone: O_o

GORE: Uhh, he meant to do that.

~GORE runs at Caykzor the Turk and jump into its massive body, also being devoured instantly. CtT now has a unibrow and two small beards.~

Yami: Oh shatmuck, GORE accidentally took my shoe with him.

Vorpal: Yami, wait!!

~Yami Yoshi follows GORE into CtT. Vorpal chases Yami and grabs his other shoe, but he cannot stop Yami from slipping into CtT--all that remains in Vorpal's hand is Yami's shoe. The creature gains long sideburns.~

Vorpal: ~looks to shoe~ Dangit,... well, now I gotta give Yami his shoe. ~plugs nostrils and leaps into CtT~

~CtT opens his mouth and sucks in air, pulling the note out of Masa's hand and sucking it into his mouth.~

Masa: Shoot!

~Masa chases the note right into CtT, giving it another sideburn. Fred chases Masa, but Lady in Red and Kuria hold him back.~

Fred: I put the wrong area code!

~Vorpal's face pops out of the front of CtT.~

Vorpal: Hey Kuria, look what I can do! ~touches tongue to just above the upper lip~ Oh, come on, I did it just a few seconds ago... I know I can get my tongue to touch my nose!!

Kuria: Vorpal! Get out of there!

~Fred takes advantage of this distraction to run. Kuria and Lady in Red hold fast onto Fred's hands at the last instant, though, and try to stop him. Instead, he drags them into the cake. CtT's entire body is covered in hair.~

Inside the cake...~

Golem: It's a bit cramped in here...

Rhyk: What do we do now?

~Caykzor the Turk dissolves, and all that is left is melty cheesecake and much green hair.~

Kuria: ...What just happened?

Rhyk: We filled the cake so much that it couldn't hold itself together any more.

Lady in Red: Isn't that strategy of defeating this genre of creature a bit cliche by now?

Author: Vorpal

*Everyone stands up, still sticky and covered in green hair*

Masamune: What happened to Lupus?

Particularly Large Lump of Hair-Covered Cheesecake: cough cough!

*Lupus stands up, as messy as the rest*

Lupus: What happened?

Rhyk: You were absorbed by Caykzor and tried to kill us all.

Lupus: Oh, yes! That's right!

Yami: sniff

Kuria: Oh, what's wrong Yami?

Yami: Well... now I have no cheesecake.

Golem: Yeah, guess there's not much point to being enemies now... you know.... since there's no cheesecake anymore

Yami: Yeah... I guess... Friends?

Golem: Friends!

*Yami and Golem hug each other*

LiR: Hey, look! The sun's coming out!

*The sun comes out from behind the clouds and promptly dries all of the melted cheesecake rendering everyone incapable of movement*

Yami: Mmm... that was nice Golem, but... you can let go now...

Golem: I... I can't...

Yami: WHAT!?!?

Everyone: *end of syndicated television show episode laugh*

Yami: Shut up! You're all stuck too!

Everyone: Oh, yeah.....

*Fade to black.*

THE END

Starring In Order of Appearance
Yami Yoshi
Vorpal
Golem
Rhyk
Canadian Dude
Masamune
GORE-ILLA
Lupus
Slort
Caykzor
Dodo
Kuria Eiren
Yoshiman
Fred
Lady in Red

and featuring

Caykzor the Turk

~several hours later~

*Everyone is still stuck in their original positions, only night has fallen and crickets are chirping*

Vorpal: Hey! Who's up for a song?

Everyone: No Vorpal...

Vorpal: Oh, On the road agai-

Everyone: NO VORPAL!

Vorpal: *pouts*

*Scene fades out again*

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 =Part 1=
+==Author: Yami Yoshi==
 <nowiki>*</nowiki>At Yami Yoshi's house on Yoshi's Island<nowiki>*</nowiki>
@@ Line 14: / Line 16: @@
 Yami Yoshi: Those prints can only belong to one person...that person is...
+==Author: Vorpal==
 Mysterious (gotta wiggle yer fingers when ye say it) Voice: ...GOLEM!!!
@@ Line 54: / Line 58: @@
 Yami Yoshi: ... fine, whatever. We'll take the Fossile-Mobile. Let's just get started, okay?
+==Author: Golem==
 Golem: Take my car. ~wearing a large bookbag~
@@ Line 84: / Line 90: @@
 ~Rhyk speeds forth and grabs Vorpal's leg and pulls it up, landing Vorpal on his back. Vorpal counters by spinning himself around and kicking Rhyk in the feet twice, and effectively tripping him up, too. Golem, in the meantime, has fled, with Yami soon after him.~
+==Author: Yami Yoshi==
 Yami Yoshi: Vorpal!
@@ Line 89: / Line 97: @@
 Golem: Heh heh heh...that's my cyborg clone Rhyk. I have programmed him to be the ultimate warrior in the universe. You don't even stand a chance against him with your current strength...
-Yami Yoshi: Why the @#%$ do you want my cheesecake?
+Yami Yoshi: Why the hell do you want my cheesecake?
 Golem: My intent for stealing your cheesecake is incomprehensible for a low intelligent life form like you.
@@ Line 108: / Line 116: @@
 Yami Yoshi: ...what?
+==Author: Golem==
 Golem: Plastic surgery! ~Golem whips around his heavy bookbag right into Yami; and Yami, not expecting the bookbag to be so manueverable, is slammed by it. Golem continues fleeing.~
@@ Line 133: / Line 143: @@
 <nowiki>*</nowiki>Vorpal kicks Rhyk, causing him to let goe of the sword. Taking Rhyk's moment of vulnerability, Vorpal swings around with his sword about to strike Rhyk at the side when...<nowiki>*</nowiki>
------COMERCIAL BREAK-----
+<nowiki>-</nowiki>----COMMERCIAL BREAK-----
+==Author: Masamune==
 <nowiki>*</nowiki>... Masamune bursts in<nowiki>*</nowiki>
@@ Line 176: / Line 188: @@
 Masamune: Just wait. <nowiki>*</nowiki>turns fan from Medium, to High, to FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS KIDS! and they take off at lightning speed down the road<nowiki>*</nowiki>
+==Author: GORE-ILLA==
 Rhyk: <nowiki>*</nowiki>watches from window<nowiki>*</nowiki> Curses. <nowiki>*</nowiki>hits his digital watch and a picture of Golem appears on it<nowiki>*</nowiki> Houston. We have a problem.
@@ Line 181: / Line 195: @@
 Golem: Just hold them off for a little while, Canadian Dude's working on reinforcements!
-Canadian Dude: Operation Giant Operational Robotic Evil-Ion Lithium Laser Attacker, AKA GORE-ILLA, is more or less finished. Preferrablly less.
+Canadian Dude: Operation Giant Operational Robotic Evil-Ion Lithium Laser Attacker, AKA GORE-ILLA, is more or less finished. Preferably less.
 GORE: No I'm not, you finished me an hour ago.
@@ Line 199: / Line 213: @@
 <nowiki>*</nowiki>Suddenly, a faint crashing noise is heard and several trees in the distance collapse like dominoes<nowiki>*</nowiki>
-Yami Yoshi: What the @#%$ was that?
+Yami Yoshi: What the hell was that?
-<nowiki>*</nowiki>Yami Yoshi squints toward the direction of the destructiona. A massive mechanical monkey charges toward him at an amazing velocity knocking over all trees adjacent to the super sonic simian. The cyborg chimp suddenly stops a few feet short of the opposite riverbank<nowiki>*</nowiki>
+<nowiki>*</nowiki>Yami Yoshi squints toward the direction of the destruction. A massive mechanical monkey charges toward him at an amazing velocity knocking over all trees adjacent to the super sonic simian. The cyborg chimp suddenly stops a few feet short of the opposite riverbank<nowiki>*</nowiki>
 GORE: Initiating area scan for enemy.
@@ Line 215: / Line 229: @@
 <nowiki>*</nowiki>A transparent Yoshi Egg surrounds Yami Yoshi's body and dissipates the missiles<nowiki>*</nowiki>
-Yami Yoshi: I have no idea who the @#%$ you are, but I'm taking you down! Dark Egg!
+Yami Yoshi: I have no idea who the hell you are, but I'm taking you down! Dark Egg!
 <nowiki>*</nowiki>Yami Yoshi hurls a Dark Egg which explodes and welds a hole through GORE's face<nowiki>*</nowiki>
@@ Line 223: / Line 237: @@
 Yami Yoshi: Aw shatmuck...
-<nowiki>*</nowiki>Rockets emerge from GORE's feet and propel him straight towards Yami Yoshi as he extends his right arm, hitting him with it as he passes by. Yami tumbles over backward and into the drink. GORE grabs YY by the neck and holds him underwater. Yami, desperate for air, forms a Dark Egg in a right hand and stuffs it into GORE's face. It explodes on contact and temporarily blinds him. GORE releases his grip on Yami and attempts to clean his eyes with his hands while Yami leaps into the air and kicks GORE in the chest with all his might. GORE stumbles back a bit into a tree bark and YY reaches with his tongue, grabbing the rtree's heaviest branch, which lies coinciedentally lies right above GORE's head, and pulls on it until it falls off and smashes on GORE's head. GORE slumps over.<nowiki>*</nowiki>
+<nowiki>*</nowiki>Rockets emerge from GORE's feet and propel him straight towards Yami Yoshi as he extends his right arm, hitting him with it as he passes by. Yami tumbles over backward and into the drink. GORE grabs YY by the neck and holds him underwater. Yami, desperate for air, forms a Dark Egg in a right hand and stuffs it into GORE's face. It explodes on contact and temporarily blinds him. GORE releases his grip on Yami and attempts to clean his eyes with his hands while Yami leaps into the air and kicks GORE in the chest with all his might. GORE stumbles back a bit into a tree bark and YY reaches with his tongue, grabbing the rtree's heaviest branch, which lies coincidentally lies right above GORE's head, and pulls on it until it falls off and smashes on GORE's head. GORE slumps over.<nowiki>*</nowiki>
 Yami: Now that was easy.
@@ Line 231: / Line 245: @@
 Yami: Crap.
-<nowiki>*</nowiki>GORE snaps the branch into two splintery halves and wields both of them like swords, slashing them randomly at the open air in hopes of slicing up Yami. Yami now seems bent on retreating with his life and kicks his leg, flytterg though the air Yoshi's Island style to the other side of the river. GORE, however, clears the river in one hop an continus approaching Yami, swinging the wood like a madman. Yami tosses dark eggs like mad in an attemp to stun GORE again, but all of them harmlessly shatter as they are struck by GORE's branch halves. GORE then lifts up one of the branch halves and flings it at Yami as if it were a javelin, but Yam once again summons his Egg Shield. The force of the toss shatters the shield, but Yami recieves no physical harm and lifts up the dropped half of th branch, which is still in working condiion after the throw.<nowiki>*</nowiki>
+<nowiki>*</nowiki>GORE snaps the branch into two splintery halves and wields both of them like swords, slashing them randomly at the open air in hopes of slicing up Yami. Yami now seems bent on retreating with his life and kicks his leg, fluttering though the air Yoshi's Island style to the other side of the river. GORE, however, clears the river in one hop an continuous approaching Yami, swinging the wood like a madman. Yami tosses dark eggs like mad in an attempt to stun GORE again, but all of them harmlessly shatter as they are struck by GORE's branch halves. GORE then lifts up one of the branch halves and flings it at Yami as if it were a javelin, but Yam once again summons his Egg Shield. The force of the toss shatters the shield, but Yami receives no physical harm and lifts up the dropped half of th branch, which is still in working condition after the throw.<nowiki>*</nowiki>
 Yami: Time to put an end to this.
-GORE: I am in agreement ith your wishes.
+GORE: I am in agreement with your wishes.
 <nowiki>*</nowiki>GORE and Yami leap towards each other like in so many Japanese animes, each wielding one of the tree branches. Who will survive? I'll let some other writer to take care of that.<nowiki>*</nowiki>
+==Author: Yami Yoshi==
 Yami Yoshi: Suck my stick!
-<nowiki>*</nowiki>Yami Yoshi and GORE swing their sticks simontaneously at each other. GORE's gargantuan gorilla strength helps him snap Yami Yoshi's stick in half<nowiki>*</nowiki>
+<nowiki>*</nowiki>Yami Yoshi and GORE swing their sticks simultaneously at each other. GORE's gargantuan gorilla strength helps him snap Yami Yoshi's stick in half<nowiki>*</nowiki>
 Yami Yoshi: No!
@@ Line 275: / Line 291: @@
 Yami Yoshi: <nowiki>*</nowiki>sweatdrop<nowiki>*</nowiki> Grr...
-<nowiki>*</nowiki>After 10 hours, Yami Yoshi finally finishes his exercise around the island and night has fallen. Suddenly, the night's silence is shattered by a thundrous explosion followed by a mushroom cloud<nowiki>*</nowiki>
+<nowiki>*</nowiki>After 10 hours, Yami Yoshi finally finishes his exercise around the island and night has fallen. Suddenly, the night's silence is shattered by a thunderous explosion followed by a mushroom cloud<nowiki>*</nowiki>
 Yami Yoshi: Wow! What was that?
@@ Line 299: / Line 315: @@
 Yami Yoshi: All right you simian shatmucker...THIS IS IT!!! NUCLEAR EGG!!!
-<nowiki>*</nowiki>Yami Yoshi flings the Nuclear Egg at GORE, who swings his stick like a baseball bat. It strikes the Nuclear Egg and sends it flying into the far distance to only to finally land later in the story when everypne's forgotten about it to serve an important person. Or it got sucked into a jet engine and shredded, whatever.<nowiki>*</nowiki>
+==Author: GORE-ILLA==
+<nowiki>*</nowiki>Yami Yoshi flings the Nuclear Egg at GORE, who swings his stick like a baseball bat. It strikes the Nuclear Egg and sends it flying into the far distance to only to finally land later in the story when everyone's forgotten about it to serve an important person. Or it got sucked into a jet engine and shredded, whatever.<nowiki>*</nowiki>
 Yami Yoshi: Hey, I was using that!
@@ Line 306: / Line 324: @@
 Yami Yoshi: Stop that.
+==Author: Masamune==
 <nowiki>*</nowiki>Yami Yoshi goes head-first at GORE, leading with his branch. However, GORE manages to partially duck. That is, he doesn't completely avoid Yami, and in fact, his head fits right into Yami's wide open mouth. Following his yoshi instincts, Yami Yoshi swallows GORE and turns him into an egg. Thinking quickly, as soon as he reaches the ground, Yami kicks the egg into the river without cracking it.<nowiki>*</nowiki>
@@ Line 318: / Line 338: @@
 Masamune: Great Scott! We have a McDonalds on the boat!!
+==Author: Lupus==
 Lupus: Ah, what a delightful day to be walking conveniently towards a portal that will undoubtedly take me into the firing range of Yami Yoshi's all-destroying attack.

Difference between revisions of "Gamehiker Member OG Page 1"

Revision as of 21:44, 14 December 2007

Contents

Part 1

Author: Yami Yoshi

Author: Vorpal

Author: Golem

Author: Yami Yoshi

Author: Golem

Author: Masamune

Author: GORE-ILLA

Author: Yami Yoshi

Author: GORE-ILLA

Author: Masamune

Author: Lupus

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Author: GORE-ILLA

Author: Golem

Author: GORE-ILLA

Author: Vorpal

Author: Golem

Author: GORE-ILLA

Author: Golem

Author: Vorpal

Navigation menu

Search