Story:IT
Author: Director
It lived at Moondo lake, at least thats how the story goes.
My brother, Nintendofreak , and I wanted to prove this age old myth to all my school mates. They'd say...
Student: Director, you're such a nerd!
or...
Generic student B: Nintendofreak hows IT going!
Well we'd show them, and off to Moondo lake we went! Little did we know that IT wanted to kill all who saw him.
*Moondo lake, at night *
Director: Ok, lets split up, Nintendofreak, you go to the campgrouns, and I'll explore the waterfall!
Nintendofreak: Lets prove this!
* They split up*
Author: Director
* Later*
Nintendofreak: IT wasn't in the campground!
Director: IT wasn't in the waterfall!
* IT comes out of the lake*
Director: Ahh, run!
Nintendofreak: Eek!
* They run away*
IT: Your soulssssssss are mine!
Author: NintendoFreak
NintendoFreak: I thought our souls were our souls?
IT: No! They are mine now!
NintendoFreak: But 10 seconds ago you said your souls are mine, now our souls are mine now? Make up your mind!
IT: Agh! Too many dumb questions! IT can't take IT! IT must retreat! Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop-wha-whoop!
*IT runs back into the lake*
Director: Well that was strange, what do you sopose IT is?
NintendoFreak: A taco my good sir!
Author: Fred
(About fourty-five minutes later...)
NF: I'm tired. Why are we looking for this guy, again?
Director: To prove ourselfs as REAL MEN.
NF: But you're an Eggplant.
Director: reel men
(They come across an old man, rocking in a chair by his shack)
NF: We're kinda lost. Maybe we should ask for directions?
Director: REAL MEN don't ask for directions.
NF: We just went over this; as it turns out we are fake men.
Old man: What's all that holler?
NF: Eep!
Director: If I had pants or an ass I would crap my pants.
NF: You're... you're old man Cat! Where are we?
Director: What do you know about IT?
(The Old man twitches fiercely at the mention of IT, and arises from his seat)
Old man Cat: Don't go near Moondo lake, I'm warnin' ya kids...
NF: We already went near it.
Director: We saw IT but not IT by Stephen King.
Old man Cat: Beware the caves. You seek trouble, but you do nooooot know that trouble_seeks_you. (closeup with lighting)
NF: Turn that flashlight off, old man.
Old man Cat: veeeeeerrryyy wellllll. But know this: There are other things, very possibly worse than IT in those caves. A young whippersnapper like yourself was lost there once, five years ago.
Director: We're not exactly children, old man.
NF: so is the kid IT
Old man Cat: No, no... the child was on a tour group. I was the only one who came back. That's a really bad cliche, too. No, IT has been around longer than any of us can think of... ITs just that IT's never been so active before. The dangers are too much, I can't let you go.
NF: We're going to go regardless of what you say.
Director: Just so you know. What are the other dangers besides IT? Bats? Cave Squirrels?
Old man Cat: Well then... There is at least one group of punks like you hanging out there. They came over the mexican border with some big guns and occasionally attack the town at night. There's bears and wolves in the cave, and it's also the site of a collapsed fortess of a long destroyed civilization of gold... A civilization destroyed by greed and ending with spirits full of regret and hatred and streets of Rage.
Director: You're making all this junk up. ...Right?
Old man Cat: Of course I am. I'm a senile old guy. Go and have yourselves a great time! (falls asleep)
NF: We will!
Director:Uh, NintendoFreak, what if he's right? What if there is that kind of stuff down there?
NF: He's a crazy old man. Why would he give tours of the caves if he knew IT was around? Come on.
Director: Well, at least I've got my megaphone.
(The two continue along the path until they meet a short police officer with short red hair and thick sunglasses (at night, no less). The man cares a .45 colt and a quadruple-barrelled shotgun. He stands in front of a roadblock)
Officer Livid: What are you kids doing here?
Director: I'm an eggplant, jerk! Racist!
NF: shut up Director ok Officer we've got to get past
Livid: You want to screw with me? (cocks shotgun) I swear you take one more step towards the cave and I'll blow your fraking brains out.
(NF attempts to take another step but it's like an RPG and there's an invisible wall just kidding he is just too much of a pussy ha ha pussy etc)
Livid: If you want to go in, you're going to have to talk to the mayor. ( IT'S LIKE A QUEST AND YOU'LL NEVER FIND YOUR SANCTUARY OR FIGHT MONDO MOLE WITHOUT DOING IT)
NF: Aw, man! We were going to do this tonight!
(They move out of the ranger's sight and hearing ranges, and most importantly his effective firing range to talk)
Director: We can't go back now, can we?
NF: I'm not sure. Convincing the mayor to let us in sounds hard, and I'm not a fan of hard work.
Director: Yeah, but I know that guy's just looking for an excuse to shoot someone in the head with those cannons.
NF: We could just go back and say he was too dangerous.
Director: Yeah, but do you really want everyone saying those things about us? Hmm...
Author: Director
Director: I got it, you can dress up as the Mayor!
Nintendofreak: Brilliant!
* Cuts to Nintendofreak dressed as mayor talking to officer Livid*
Livid: Mayor! I didn't know you was here!
Mayor Nintendofreak: Let these boys through!
Livid: .............................................. Fine ( grumble grumble)
* Director and Nintendofreak walk into the cave*
Livid: I'll get the next uns that come this way..... hey stop!
* A giant hand comes out of the lake and grabs Livid*
Livid: Ahh! You won't get me IT!
* Livid shoots IT, but IT eats him*
Author: Fred
(Livid's screams echo in the moonlight or would but it's a new moon so you can't see it so no echoing either)
NF: Huh
Director: What... What was that?
NF: probably just IT
Director: There was a gunshot and everything!
NF: yeah well your mom's a gunshot and everything
Director: I know but I'm kind of scared.
NF: Why are you scared?
Director: Because I didn't suffer massive brain damage as a child.
NF: Oh right that well it's not too late now
Director: I'm fine thanks.
NF: This is a huge cave... how do we get in?
Director: There's an opening up there, on that ledge.
NF: It's way too high. Even if I gave you a boost... It's not climbable, either.
Director: Oh, well, we tried.
NF: shut up okay listen, we'll climb that pine tree and jump over from the top.
Director: This is a really bad idea why are we even trying to find IT in here we could just see it at the lake again.
NF: Because we hardly saw any of IT. This is its lair, and at the bottom maybe its been hoarding treasure. And cereal bars.
Director: Cereal bars? HOT DAMN!
(They climb the tree and jump to the ledge, narrowly being able to pull themselves up)
Director: whew! Oh, oh, oh no.
NF: No way, what is it? Oh, for the love of
Director: There were stairs on the other side of the ledge.
(The director and NF stand in front of a huge arch, patterned with menacing-looking masks and gargoyles)
Voice: stayyyyyy ouuuutttttttt
NF: Nah c'mon lets go.
(As they enter the cave, something follows them. A little ways in, a pitfall opens in front of them, and those who followed them reveal themselves)
NF: oh man what you startled me so much I nearly changed my name to Mariorox
Director: Don't look now, but... well, actually, look now. I need someone to scream with!
(Their two persuers are gargoyles. One is a small, dog-like demon thing with three mouths full of sharp teeth, and the other is a hulking form with four enormous bat wings, with no mouth or even face.)
Director: AAAAHAHHH!!!
NF: Okay, fine, they're gargoyles no big deal
Director: Whaddya mean, no big deal? Run!
NF: We can't run, look at those pits. C'mon, we can take 'em!
Director: Listen I just think that two completely unarmed guys aren't going to do much against re-animated stone monsters!
NF: If we dont deal with these chumps we'll never get to IT.
Director: You're right! I need my cereal-bar goodness! En guarde!
NF: What does that even mean
Director: It's eggplantian for shut up and dodge
(The director faces the huge thing and it totally misses with a couple punches)
Director: Why am I fighting the big guy?
NF: Because you're a smaller target!
(The lumbering stone monster moves towards The Director)
Director: ack ack ack I'm gonna get squished! My eggplanty goodness will be all over the floor!
NF: Guide him to the edge and then get out of the way!
Director: Easier done than said! Whoops, well, actually, hm. Ack!
(NF meanwhile deals with the smaller and significantly more dextrous opponent. The creature keeps swiping at him, and he keeps moving back. He's stuck against the wall, and the creature lunges with both sets of claws, but NF grabs the arms. Unfortunately it appears that it has at least two other sets of claws and slashes NF on the leg, procuring some blood)
NF: THAT DOES IT well not IT so I guess it
(NF goes under the thing's legs and hefts it onto his shoulder, and then runs with it and stops suddenly. The creature flies from his grip into the wall, and its head cracks.)
Director: Okay, Now what?
NF: En guarde!
Director: Right!
(NF jumps and plants both feet into the behemoth as it leans over to crush The Director in its limited range of motion. It is of course right at the pit, and the creature falls - but the wings break off as it falls, forming a bridge.)
Director: That was really easy.
NF: Yeah gargoyles are a little less intelligent to use than youd think huh
(30 minutes of walking in pitch black later)
NF: I'm getting hungry.
Director: Well, what are you staring at me for?
NF: You're an eggplant, I can't help it.
Director: Do you even like eggplant?
NF:...no.
Author: Director
Director: Well good, because I may look tasty, but I taste terrible!
Nintendofreak: Yes well- woah!
* They fall down a pit they didn't see because it was so dark*
Director: Where are we?
Nintendofreak: Huh, were in it's layer!
Director: How can you tell?
Nintendofreak: Theres bodys everywher
Director: Ah, well lets hide so IT won't kill us.
Nintendofreak: Ah, good plan!
* It enters the room, chewing on Livids leg*
* Direcor speaks to Nintendofreak while whispering*
Director: It's IT!
Nintendofreak: Yes! Take a photo!
Director: But-
Nintendofreak: Take a photo!
IT: Hahy, Graaaaaagghh hyannnnna!
Director: It saw the flash, run!
Author: NintendoFreak
NintendoFreak: Can you fly?
Director: WHAT?!
NintendoFreak: Well you have a cape..........Caped people can fly can't they?
Director: I don't think this is the best time to talk about that!
IT: RAWR-de-de-doop!
NintendoFreak: Do you mind?! We're having a conversation here!
*It stops yelling and sits on a large chair and sips some tea*
IT: Oh, dear I do apologize kind sir, please continue, would you like a crumpet old bean before I eat you alive?
NintendoFreak: Yea, thanks. Anyway, How are we brothers too? You're and Eggplant, and I don't even know wth I am!
Director: You're a clone
NintendoFreak: Exactly my point! It just would'nt work! And nobody adopts anymore! It's crazy!
IT: Oh pardon me old bean, but may I eat you now? There's only 5 minutes left till' tea time and I do like to stay on schedule
NintendoFreak and Director: Sure
*IT starts rawring and tearing up his couch*
IT: raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawr! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
NintendoFreak: Quick Director use your megaphone!
Director: Okily Dokily!
*Director screams into his megaphone which scares IT away*
Director: Well that was close!
NintendoFreak: How are you holding that megaphone without fingurs?
Director: ...
Author: Director
Director: I have Eggplant powers?
Nintendofreak: Good enough, so how do we get outta here?
Director: We have to find OUT.
Nintendofreak: Another monster?!?!
Director: Yup!
Nintendofreak: Hey it's IT again!
IT: Grrrrrr, old beans, would you mind if I ate you, you made me go deaf, so the Megaphone wont work anymore!
Director: Grab my cape!
Nintendofreak: Why?
Director: I'm going to try flying!
Nintendofrwak: It wont work.....
Director: Yeah.... how about we drive that car over there?
Nintendofreak: Sounds like a plan!
* They drive off leaving IT behind*
IT: Oh well...........
Director: Hey theres OUT!
Nintendofreak: Thats a turtle..... holding a key. Sweatdrop
Director: Yep thats OUT!
Author: NintendoFreak
NintendoFreak: is there an up too?
Director: Yea, it's that ladder over there
NintendoFreak: Up and out eh? Not the greatest pun.......
Director: Weren't we doing something?
NintendoFreak: Nope, can't say I remember
Director: Oh, ok then. Let's go home
*Back at Director and NintendoFreak's home*
Director: Wait! We were looking for it!
*Back at Moondo Lake*
NintendoFreak: Now how will we find IT?!
Director: Simple, we go sek the wise and powerful THAT!
Author: SOAP
*nearby*
Soap: I'm on a quest to do IT.
Soap's Sister: Ew! Leave me out of this then.
Soap: Not THIS, IT. IT is act of doing IT. IT's all that's there is in life. That's why they call IT, IT. now to find a hot girl to do IT with and I'll be the MAN.
Soap's Sister: I'm pretty sure the IT we're looking for is a thing not a an action.
Soap: No, THING is something else too. That's at the other camp ten miles down. To the girl's camp!
Soap's Sister: That's the boy's camp. The girl's camp is this way.
Soap: Right! I knew that...
Soap's Sister: Then why are you still headed towards the guys' camp?
Soap: Heh heh, I was just, I mean, SHUT UP!
*Soap reluctantly follows his sister towards the girl's camp. That's when the run into NintendoRreak and the Director.* Soap: By the hairy chest of Allah! My prayers have been answered! A couple of hot chicks I can do IT with! Soap Sister: I'm pretty sure those are guys not chicks. NintendoFreak: Gawd Soap! Can't we have one OG without you messsing things up? Soap: No. Soap Sister: You must be Soap's weird geeky friends. The Director: Hey! I find that offensive... We're not Soap's friends. Who are you by the way. Soap's Sister: I'm unfortunately related to waste of flesh over here. Soap: My charcater Marin is based off her! Isn't that cool! NintendoFreak: Marin is based of you, eh? Does that mean you're a slut in real life? Soa's Sister: Excuse me! <nowiki>*Soap kicks in NintendoFreak's face with her crippled leg until he starts to bleed profusely.*
Soap's Sister: I'm numb from the knee down so that hurt you more than it did me.
The Director: Yeah I can see how Marin is based off her now.
Author: Director
Nintendofreak: Ow Sad SOAP, IT is not the one you are looking for.
SOAP: Well then who am I looking for?
Director: The guy whos locked in your basement
SOAP: Oh yeah, I forgot about him
* SOAP and his sister leave*
Nintendofreak: Bout time...
* Director and Nintendofreak go find THAT*
Director: Where is THAT?
Nintendofreak: There he is!
Director: Where?
Nintendofreak: Over there, that creepy looking monster.
Director: Oh yeah...
* Director and Nintendofreak talk to THAT*
Director: Wheres IT?
THAT: Why do you wish to find my brother?
Author: SOAP
The Director: We're looking for him.
THAT: Well i guess that's a good enough reason. Look in the camp consuler's cabin. I believe I saw him going there.
The Director: Okay!
*They leave. Just then, the real THAT comes home from work.*
THAT: Brothers, I'm home!
THIS: Hellow Brother THAT.
THAT: THIS, I heard voices in here just a second ago. Did you have company?
THIS: No.
THAT: THIS, are you telling lies again? You always say the opposite of what's true.
THIS: Yes.
THAT: Okay now I'm confused. Oh well, as long as you don't tell anyone to go snooping around the camp consuler's cabin. Certian doom awaits anyone who goes there. Has IT been here?
THIS: No, he wasn't here just five minutes ago.
THAT: Riiiiight.
Author: Director
Nintendofreak: You know what, we should give up, we'll never find it...
Director: We can't give up! He has to be around here somewhere...
Nintendofreak: I know were at Moondo lake right?
Director: Yeah
Nintendofreak: well IT has to come if we drain the lake?
Director: Oh yeah, IT has to come because IT is the spirit of the lake!
Nintendofreak: Brilliant!
* They drain the lake*
Director: Where is IT
Nintendofreak:He should be arriving soon......... oh my-
* IT, OUT, UP, THIS, and every other monster that inhabits the lake*
Director: Take the photo!
Nintendofreak: Right!
*Nintendofreak snaps the photo*
Director: Yes!
All of the monsters: Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhghhgghhgghhghhghghggghhgghgg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Director: R-R-R-R-R-
Nintendofreak: What?
Director: RUN!!!
* They run out of Moondo Lake and board the Car that took them there and they drive off, with the monsters in hot pursuit*
Director: Can't this car go any faster!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Nintendofreak: Warp speedn Capn!
* They zoom away from the monsters, with the proof they needed, cut to the next day at school*
Director: Guess what?
Nintendofreak: Haha! You'll never guess!
Generic Student Gamma: What is it IT boys?
Director: We have proof.
GSG: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
* He sees the photo, and is stunned in disbelief*
GSG: HEY EVERYONE QUICK! THEY HAVE PROOF!
* Everyone sees*
Evryone: Wooooow... we...... we never knew.....
Director: Yep, we proved IT existed.
Everyone: What are you kidding, IT exists, we know that now, but whos that old man?
Nintendofreak: What old man?......... wait...... wait WHAT?!?!?!
* The old Man who they had met in the beginning of their journey was sitting there in that picture of all the monsters, with glowing red eyes, and an evil grin*
The End