Sonic the Hedgehog Fanventure Page 1
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Author: Golem
Golem was on his way home. He and his friends had completed Super Mario 64--for real. Plus, Princessi was stopped.
Golem looked at his watch. Still March 28, 2002.
He got spat out of the black hole that brought him to the Mushroom World.
Golem: Oof! Herm... ~looks around~ RealGTX? Flutter?
And I have that Green Hill Zone music stuck in my head...
~A few seconds later, Golem sees a blue object zoom by. Almost immediately after that, he felt a tap on his shoulder.~
Thing Behind Golem: ~in a voice sounding to belong to a kid~ Hey, who're you?
Golem: My name's Golem... ~turns around~ ...Wh-- ~sees that the thing behind him is Miles~
~Meanwhile, in Narrating Office...~
Narrator: ~giving NTCooN stern eye~
Narrator That Came out o' Nowhere: Sorry, it was a slip!
Narrator: ~gives NTCooN sterner eye~
NTCooN: I mean, I did it on purpose!
Narrator: :)
Miles: So... you look like a... something... like Robotnik. ~does double take~ Like Robotnik?!
Golem: No, no! You don't get it! Ah--well--
Miles: ~has zoomed off to tell Sonic~
Golem: Well. It could be worse. At least I'm not hanging out with anyone in a Robotnik costume... Like that one time...
~sigh~
Might as well start searching for one o' Miyamoto's keys...
Erm--oh... I guess that'd be Naka's keys, if they exist.
Author: Wonder Wario
WW:~falls on Golem~ YAY!
Author: Golem
Golem: What're you doing here?
~Sonic (with Tails at his side) races to Golem, sees Wonder Wario~
Sonic: You're right, Tails! It's the Fat Man himself!
Golem, WW: ???
Sonic: Nice disguise, Egghead, but the mustache and blubber give you away!
Author: Timnis
Timnis digs himself back up to land with is shovel.
Timnis: Where am I?
He looks around and sees Golem, WW, Sonic, and Tails.
Timnis: Say, I must have dug through to here.
He puts his shovel over his shoulder, and walks over to where the others are.
Timnis: Hey, what's happening here?
Author: Wonder Wario
Sonic: Alright Eggman! What are you up to this time?!
WW: Is there cake here?
Tails: What are you talking about?
WW:... See ya Golem, I'm gonna go eat stuff!
Author: Golem
Golem: You don't care about where we are or how we--
Sonic: ~has slid in front of WW~ I've got you now! No Egg Walker, no 'bots, nothin'!
WW: You're funny. Say, what do you have to eat around here...? ~looks around~
Sonic: ~thinking~ He's pulling something...
Timnis: So do we just watch, or...?
Golem: I was kinda hoping they had some cake.
Timnis: -_-; C'mon, we'd better get Wonder Wario before this gets heated up. ~walks over to WW and whispers something in his ear~
WW: Ooh! ~follows Timnis cheerfully and bouncily~
Golem: We run now, right?
Timnis: Now or never! ~all three start running~
Sonic: Hold it! Hold it!
Timnis: Just keep going...
Golem: Grab all the rings you can! They make you faster!
Timnis: There aren't any rings...!
WW: ~looking back~ They're gaining on us!
~All three look back as a spring shoots up from the ground and sets itself in front of them, shooting them backwards~
Timnis: Anyone notice we're running the wrong way?!
Author: Timnis
WW: It's the spring!
Golem: Well we have to do something!
WW: Eat them?
Timnis: No, if we can fake them out, maybe we can get around them!
Golem: But we have to slow down!
Author: Golem
Golem: This will take a lot of concentration... To fake out...
Timnis: You don't know what it means to fake out, do you?
Golem: No...
Author: Timnis
Timnis: Do you know what it means to juke someone out?
Golem:.... No.
Timnis: Juking someone out is a term that sort of means to get past or around someone.
Author: Golem
Golem: How do you propo--
~Timnis, Golem, and WW had already collided with Sonic and Tails~
Tails: ~reeling~ Anyone get the liscense plate on that bus...?
Timnis: ~is picking up the rings that Sonic and Tails dropped~ THIS is juking! C'mon, we have a bus to catch! ~hands Golem and WW seven rings apiece~
Golem, WW: We do?
Timnis: ~holds up his seven rings, which flash a brilliant light~ Let's just go!
~The three zoomed off before Sonic and Tails got back up.~
Author: Timnis
WW: So, where's the bus?
Timnis: There was none. We just had to escape.
Golem: Now we have to hide, until we can get out of this place.
Author: Golem
Timnis: Think about what you just said.
Golem: Eh?
Timnis: The Sonic games are about hi-speed action!
Golem: ...And blast processing! You're right!
WW: Where would we run to?
Golem: There's always a point A to point B...
Timnis: We know our point A, but not B. Hmmm...
WW: Why can't we just hop in that hole you dug here through?
Timnis: Because I never got home. Came right here from SMB Fanventure 64...
Meanwhile...
Dr. Eggman: ~looking at someone tied to a chair~ Hah... Once Sonic gets word that I've captured you, he's sure to zoom down here... Little does he suspect that I have the same traps I've used in previous games so many times before!
Someone Tied to a Chair: You'll never get away with this, Dr. Eggman!
Dr. Eggman: Oh, but I don't intend to... You'll see! Just wait 'till Sonic hears that I have the Entertainment Software Rating Board captured!!
Mr. Entertainment Software Rating Board/Someone Tied to a Chair: Shouldn't you have gone for Amy Rose?
Dr. Eggman: She's whiny. Besides, Mr. ESRB sounds so much more... Hmmm...
Author: Timnis
Sonic: Hey, Tails, look at these new Dreamcast games I got.
Tails: Cool! Any new abilities since the last one?
Sonic: I think so. Why don't you look at the back and see?
Tails: Hey, that's funny. Where's the ESRB logo?
Author: Golem
Sonic: Hold on a minute, something's fishy here!
Tails: I know, there haven't been any new Dreamcast games in years!
Sonic: That's it! No, wait, I mean, the ESRB rating is nowhere on the box!
Amy: ~runs in~ Mr. ESRB has been kidnapped!
Sonic: By who?!
Amy: Eggman!
Tails: Don't you mean YOU are?
Amy: ...I'm too whiny.
Sonic: Wha... Gee... what do we do now? "Too whiny"?
Author: Fire Mario
Tails: But why would Dr. Eggman want to Kidnap Mr. ESRB?
Sonic: Maybe his parents wouldn't let him get an M game?
Author: Timnis
Tails: But he's old.
Sonic: Well, you know parents.
Author: Fire Mario
Tails: Or maybe he's a 16 year old disguised as an evil man?
Author: Timnis
Sonic: But I've never seen his parents.
Tails: Well, maybe he ties them up in the closet.
Sonic: And if he was 16, he would probably be allowed to play M-rated games.
Author: Fire Mario
Tails: Technically, M means 17+.
Author: Timnis
Sonic: Then he must have strict parents who know about video games. Well, c'mon, tails, there's only one way to find out!
Author: Golem
Meanwhile...
Timnis: Look, a panel!
Golem: That means the end of this act!
Author: Wonder Wario
WW: End of the act?
Golem: Yeah.
WW: Will there be cake?
Author: Timnis
Golem: What would you do if I said no?
Author: Mercury Crusader
- elsewhere, in one of Mercury Crusader's classic VGF NC board story things...*
M.C.: "Alright. Time now for some relaxation."
Meowth: "What's on the tube?"
M.C.: "Alright! It's 'The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog'!"
James: "Ooh! This seems like a great-yet-poorly-animated show!"
Jesse: "And best of all, no work!"
M.C.: "There's only one thing that can be AS COOL as Scratch and Grounder."
Meowth: "That is?"
Hercule: "Me!"
M.C.: "Why, it's Hercule (or Mr. Satan to you DBZ fundamentalist dorks), the WORLD'S GREATEST FIGHTER!"
Hercule: "YEAH!" *strikes a pose*
All: "Hercule! Hercule!"
- we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming that doesn't have anything to do with whatever happened in this post*
Author: Wonder Wario
WW:~starts eating Golem~
Timnis: Aw crap...
Author: Timnis
Timnis: WW, there is cake.
Author: Golem
Wonder Wario starts running to the end of the act. Before he reaches the end, though, he flies upward due to a hidden spring. As he lands on a floating platform, Golem and Timnis follow.
Elsewhere, Robotnik is talking to a TV.
Eggman: Hah! It's you, Sonic! Just as I expected, with Tails and Knuckles, too! Are you wondering why ESRB hasn't rated your latest games? Let's just say I could make a pun about being tied up! ~steps aside to show ESRB tied to a chair~
Timnis: But why?!
Eggman: Guh-wheh? You're not Sonic! Why...
Golem: Spoke too soon!
Eggman: But that means...!
WW: Yeah, yeah. I want that cake. ~breaks TV, gets sent flying back and loses rings~ Woah, what was that?!...?!
Golem: You hit a Robotnik TV, which does as much damage to Sonic as a hit from a badnik!
Timnis: So what now?
WW: Cake, duh!
Timnis: But we have to save ESRB!
Golem: That's right! The media would rip up video games otherwise!
WW: You so sure? Besides, a little thing can end up screwing up their stupid scores!
Timnis: Urgh... That's true...!
Golem: We have to save ESRB!
Timnis: Tell you what: we'll decide once we rescue ESRB. We can either ask them to stop or to keep it up. Hopefully by then, we'll have reached an agreement.
WW: Good.
Golem: Sounds fair.
Timnis: ...That still doesn't answer my question: "So what now?"
Golem, WW: Uhhhh...
Timnis: I guess we're still going forward, then.
Author: Timnis
WW: But I want CAKE!!!
Golem: Now's not the time.
Timnis: I'll get some cake for us as soon as we rescue ESRB. Sound ok?
WW: Well, all right.
Author: Wonder Wario
WW: Wait, I changed my mind. I want cake now!
Author: Timnis
Golem: There is none, if you want cake, you'll have to wait till later.
WW: No, that's not fair! I want cake now!
Timnis: Hey WW, did you check all your pockets?
WW: ~reaches into back pocket~ Oh, cool! I remember this!
Author: Golem
Golem, Timnis: ~gasp!~
WW: What?
Golem: That's not cake!
Timnis: That's a Chaos Emerald!
WW: Dah dah dah!! ~does pose showing off Chaos Emerald, the scene of which is broken by a silhouette swooping past and stealing it, then standing under the shadow of a floating platform~
Golem, Timnis, WW: Hey!
Silhouette: ~steps out into light~ They call me Queen Rach. I believe this is mine...
Timnis: Not if we have anything to say about it!