Story:Member OG 9
The archive of Member OG 9.
Author: Golem
If you don't wanna read much, just skip down to the final two paragraphs.
Last time, the gang started out in an underground cave near GORE's home after receiving a distress call through PL-0TT from Princess Lila (who was intending to contact the recently killed Bat-ear Mirawk!). In the cave, they uncovered a plot to do something to the world with the Cheese Star involving Lila's Pearls of Mystery, the same pearls GORE for some reason found in that cave. Yami also realized he had been toting Hades' soul since MOG6.
Using the Volksmonkey to board the Cheese Star up in outer space, the Members ran into a few of the OG Vets' souls, who were tired of staying with Rhyk. The Cheese Star was soon blown out of the sky, thanks to Fred putting up his dukes with Koopa Xtreme, who had betrayed Lupus and sought to use the Cheese Star for his own will. This was not before Rhyk was destroyed and turned into Syphnity, the topaz of knowledge, and not before Yami started to turn into cheese from the Cheese Star's air--and then came the Cheese Star Mk II.
Down came the Cheese Star Mk II, an attempt by Lupus to put a serious dent on Earth. However, Dark Cloak had other things in mind, and exercised power over a pocket of darkness he had installed by a minion, sending everything but the cheapanium core to S-Space, where it could not harm the Earth pertaining to MOGs, which is in R-Space. Thankfully, none of the gang was left in S-Space by this move--except Knock, who was immediately forgotten.
Koopa, upon meeting Lupus on the Earth by Yoshi's Island (now flooded by a wave caused by the cheapanium core), hopped right back to his master's side. They ran off to Lupus' palace in the Alps while Lupus let loose an army of Tim Allen robots and some mysterious beings called incorporals, who were apparently encased in cheddarnite. Just when it looked like the world had been completely ravaged by Lupus, he snatched the Pearls of Mystery and FINALLY put his plot into action.
Lupus used the pearls to power a device that somehow had the power to grant an incredible wish of his--to make the world flat. However, granting a wish caused disruption among the different spaces--something having to do with the relationship between R-Space and S-Space--and everything just heaped together. Dark Cloak's Dark Dimension (AKA S-Space) was now one with the universe of the OGers, and Introbulus' boss (who was in Q-Space) now walked on the Earth. The OGers held off the forces of Lupus, and thought they destroyed Eerie.
Long story short--our heroes botched it MOG5 style, Lupus used the precious Pearls of Mystery to make the world flat, unwittingly letting the control freak from Q-Space, Eerie, into our plane of existence, where he grabbed some artifact of immense power. Not only that, but with Dark Cloak's S-Space being one with our heroes' dimension, he's up to full power. Unfortunately for the OGers, the story ended a few pages short, leaving Lupus, Dark Cloak, and Eerie free to roam the Earth as loose ends. I'd say it's going to be a long day for the OGers. Unfortunately, it isn't. They've only got 15 posts to get the job done this OG. ...Make that 14 posts.
Author: GORE-ILLA
- Yami Yoshi (the dinosaur leader), GORE-ILLA (the cyborg gorilla with AMNESIA), SwordMaster (Defender of Cheesecake), Fusion (the armored godmodder), Lord Kantii of the Crows(a man who looks like a crow (or crow that looks like a man?)) and Chizu (the token femle and group healer) are gathered for a cheesecake dinner in Yami's Yoshi Island pad. The rest of the dozens of OGers are either, dead, missing, or busy elsewhere. The six OGers are about to dig into their cheesecakes when... something happens.*
Yami: Hey, does anyone hear some-
- A love cruise ship drives through the wall of the room.*
SwordMaster: Didn't see that one coming.
- Suddenly the mysterious Crap Villain leaps out of a wondow of the love cruise, swipes all of Yami Yoshi's cheesecake, then breaks one of his lamps and leaps back onto the ship.*
Yami: HE STOLE MY CHEESECAKE!!! AFTER HIM!!!
- All the OGers sigh and leap onto the lovce cruise ship as it drives through Yoshi's Island and finally reaches the ocean again.*
Fusion: Well I don't see him anywhere.
Yami: I don't care! Let's split up and search this ship for that Crap Villain! YAAARGH!!!
- Yami dashes off into a random hallway. The other OGers make sure Yami is gone, then make begin lounging on the deck. The ship continues smashing through islands and glaciers but somehow not breaking.*
Chizu: (laying in a beach chair) What's the captain doing?!
Captain: (in the beach chair next to her) On my break. By the way, welcome to our love cruise around the world. By the way, that'll be three thousand dollars per person.
Author: Golem
~Yami busts into yet another room.~
Yami Yoshi: AH-HAH!
~Yami, to his surprise, finds that the cheesecake is actually in this one. Along with a floating Ghost Guy (ghostly Shy Guy) who has a large sickle in his grasp.~
Yami Yoshi: Hand over the cheesecake!
Ghost Guy: Go ahead.
~Yami Yoshi dashes at the cheecake, which is on a table in the middle of the room. As he gets closer, it's overcome with green, and when he picks it up, it is a pile of mold.~
Yami Yoshi: Yulgh!! What have you done?!
Ghost Guy: ~whiny voice~ I don't have to tell you anything other than that my name is Grim Reaper. Mr. Grim Reaper to you.
Yami Yoshi: I want answers! That was my cheesecake!!
~Grim Reaper remains silent. Yami Yoshi lobs a Dark Egg at him, and he dodges. Yami Yoshi throws another Dark Egg while holding a Mummification Egg, and throws the Dark Egg at Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper dodges the Dark Egg, allowing for Yami to pin him with a Mummification Egg right when he dodges. Bandages consume Grim Reaper, and he drops his sickle.~
Yami Yoshi: Now... um... to make him talk somehow...
~The sickle disappears as a new ghost guy appears behind Yami Yoshi, holding the sickle. Suspicious of the disappearing sickle, Yami Yoshi gets close to the ground just as the new ghost guy swings the sickle, making the swing too high to hit Yami. Oddly enough, the bandaged ghost guy remains on the floor.~
Yami Yoshi: Grim Reaper?!
New Ghost Guy: That's mee-ee.
~Grim Reaper takes another swing, but Yami Yoshi activates his egg shield. Grim Reaper is close enough that he is caught midway in the forming egg shield, and it forms around him, causing him severe pain. Yami lets up the egg shield as soon as it hurts Grim Reaper, who falls. Yami grabs the sickle right away.~
Yami Yoshi: Alright, I've got your cut thing... and you won't get it back unless you tell me what's up.
~The Grim Reaper is silent for a few. Figuring he can't do a thing without the sickle, he decides to spill some beans.~
Grim Reaper: Well, my boss Eerie sent me on a mission to kill all cheesecakes. We're doing well so far, only an hour or so and the world will be wiped clean of cheesecakes.
Yami Yoshi: Why?!
Grim Reaper: With your cheesiness, you're as good as Lupus' ally now. More importantly, you'll need cheesecake to continue living, as vampires require blood.
~Yami Yoshi's eyes widen and Grim Reaper sees his chance. He zooms by and snatches the sickle before Yami Yoshi can react.~
Author: Fred
(MAKO-While, with Chizu AND THE GANG)
Captain: Avast, ye cannot pay that price, so now ye must pay THE PRICE!
Chizu: The price?
Captain: SEVEN PINTS OF BLOOD. Per head, plus shipping and handling, yar.
Chizu: Well, it just so happens I carry 40 litres of blood with me, everywhere I go. Here you go.
Captain: Arr, I not be able to use your damned witchcraft metric system! You're fired!
Kantii: No, mr. Spacely, no-
Captain: Keep that up, and the same will go for ye too.
Chizu: Erm, I'm not employed.
Captain: And ye do such fine work, too. You're hired, as the deck-swabber. Kantii, Ye shall be the cook. So that's I can kiss yer.
Kantii: Thanks, Cap'n!
(Screen goes red, close up on the Captain's face)
Captain: If ye ever call me by that title again, ye 'll be walking DER PLANK, jaa?
Kantii: I can swim. And, to a limited extent, fly.
Captain: Lllliar.
Fusion: I will be captain, I have every-
(The Captain pulls a switch, and Fusion's pants fall down, making him cry)
Captain: Arr, I've been saving that one ever since what ye did to me fath'r. Which was use his bank to transact money.
(M.A.S.H.-While, in the BRIG)
YY: I don't love you.
Grim Reaper: Then let's begin.
YY: No, I'm really not keen on working for Lupus. Or doing anything that benefits him. I just kind of like cheesecake. And a little, means a lot.
Grim Reaper: Oh. Well then, I'll be the token comedic relief that dies repeatively.
YY: I'm tired of you already.
(MALT-while)
Swordmaster: 'Scuze me, sah, but I need to ask you some questions.
Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: Speak, child, and I shall answer.
Swordmaster: No, maybe I don't feel like talking to you. Hey, is that Micheal Jackson?
(GORE walks up to the cloaked figure sitting down in a uncomfortable position, and sits down. He pulls out cards, and then realises he was trying to pull out a notebook, and does. He begins to write the date but repeatively breaks the pencils and pens he brings, and instead uses his eye-laser to write)
Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: I, child, am a fortune teller.
(GORE flips backwards, lands on his head, and holds his fingers up in a cross shape)
GORE: I don't wanna remember MOG1! Don't wanna Don't wanna Don't wannna!
Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: Well, I was going to help you and not randomly attack you, but if you insist...
GORE: Ah yes, forgot my manners. I am...
Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: You cannot undo what you have just done. Unless the writer uses CTRL-Z, but there's a low possibility of that. Anyways...
GORE: TELL ME WHERE CRAP VILLAIN'S BASE IS!
Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: That was an usual outburst.
GORE: Well, I remembered we were on a tight time budget. As well, I remembered that I still have splinters of that wooden arm, ouch. And that I still need an arm. In fact, I keep falling over. I do.
Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: I'm happy for you. However, it's not a matter of Where crap Villain's base is... it's WHEN.
GORE: No, I'm pretty sure it's where.
Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: Quiet, you damn kid. Your past will be revealed in the next OG, because we have nowhere else to throw it. No, the path to Crap Villain's base of OPERATIONS because it's water on the knees will be revealed in post 14. And he'll die of natural causes on post 15.
GORE: Don't bloody spoil it for us.
Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: I was kidding about the last bit. However, I am around to spoil it for you, using my predictions, kinda like Life and Adventures of Miyamoto, except less restricted. The next post will be akin to a sitcom... the post after it shall involve giant pez dispensing-cockaroaches. And this post... THIS post, shall involve a bad Titanic parody, without the water scene, and mostly the sinking part.
GORE: Maybe you shouldn't talk so mu-ahhhh
(The ship runs into a gigantic nose in the water, and sinks, taking everyone UNDER THE SEA)
YY: Why's everything so cold, and pressurized, all of a sudden?
Grim Reaper: Stop it, the suspence is killing me! Literally! AHAHAH!
YY: I am hating you ever so much.
Author: AaronGuy
- To the theme of 'Love Boat'*
O-GEEES... SO TIRED AND TRUUUUUUE COME A-
LOOOONG... NOTHING BE-TTER TO DOOO...
CHEEEEEESE... WHEN YOU BE-COME BOOOORED LET IT GOOOOOO... AND IT
WILL GROW MOLD FOR YOOOUUU!
THE CHEEEEEEEEESE CAAAAAAAAAAKE! SOON WILL BE TAKEN AND ON THE RUUUUUN THE
CHEEEESE CAAAAAKE... PROMISES PLOT HOLES FOR EV-REY-OOOONE! SET YOUR COURSE FOR ADVENTURE YOUR MIND OFF OF YAMI'S
PAAAAAAAANTS...
CHEEEEEEESE.... WON'T HURT ANY MORE.. UN-N-LESS... YOU ARE STAN-DING NEAR GOOOOORE!
IT'S CHEEEEEEEESE! Open Wide- IT'S CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!
- applause*
Narrator: MOG9 was filmed in front
of a live studio audience, but to remove all witnesses ninjas followed each and every one of them to their homes and killed
them in their sleep.
Yami: I never knew Love Boat was considered a sitcom.
Audience: *canned
laughter*
Grim Reaper: Pah! You kids and your MTV. I bet you never even watched an episode.
Yami: No, but
I HAVE tasted cheesecake, and I know what I like, and I like cheesecake, and since you ruined mine I'll have to kill you
dead.
Audience: *gasp*
Grim Reaper: Strong words, Yoshi. But just words. Besides, how do you kill
something that's already dead?
Yami: Post about it on an internet forum?
Audience: *canned
laughter*
Grim Reaper: Clever, but words will never hurt me.
Yami: Oh really? What if I happen to say DARK
OMELETTE?!
Grim Reaper: *waits for a moment* No, that didn't do any- *suddenly thrown backward by the explosion
made by Yami's attack*
Yami: How about THAT?
Grim Reaper: Hey, no fair! Those words were secretly energy
bombs in disguise!
Yami: Care for another?
Grim Reaper: Love to, but I think it's time for me to split.
- points to the floor, which is beginning to get covered with a rising amount of water* Luckily, ghosts like me can escape
no problem! *flys through the roof, except not, and bumps his head and falls down into the water*
Audience: *canned
laughter*
Yami: Oh no! The sudden drop in temperature, the popping of my ears, the water leaking in... this ship
has SUNK!
Audience: *gasps/screams*
Yami: I'd better go see if the others are okay! *runs out of the room,
steppin on Grim in the process*
- meanwhile, just inside the ship*
Chizu: Hurry! We need to find a way to
get out of here safely!
Kantii: It's a little late to get out safe considering we're all underwater now, I'd
really rather just find ANY way out.
Captain: Yar, ye be lucky dogs, ye be. I thought ahead and got me a sub-
marin'r in case of such a situation.
Fusion: Wait, you thought ahead just in case your ship happened to crash into
a giant nose?
Captain: First rule of being a boy scout, yar.
Fusion: Rrgh... well, where IS this submarine?
Captain: Yar, it be toward the back of the ship, just above the brig. But to get there, ye must pass through the
Sphinx doors.
Kantii: The what?
Captain: It be a security system I installed to makesure none of my mates
stole me sub.
Fusion: Wait, where ARE your shipmates? I don't see any other sailors here.
Captian: Yar,
they be part of the studio audience.
Audience: *uncomfortable silence*
Chizu: We're wasting time! Get us
to these Sphinx Doors, pronto!
Captain: Yar, we already be there. They be behind you.
Chizu: What are you-
Loud Voice 1: WE ARE THE KEEPERS OF THE SUBMARINE
Loud Voice 2: SOLVE OUR PUZZLE AND WE SHALL GRANT
PASSAGE
- Everyone except the Captain jumps in suprise, then turns around, noticing for the first time the two giant
golden doors behind them. Each has a engraved sphinx on their lower half, and a crystal eye that glows when the door
speaks. Door 1 has a green crystal, Door 2 a purple crystal*
Door 1: SOLVE OUR PUZZLE OR SUFFER THE
CONSEQUENCE
Kantii: What's the consequence?
Door 2: NO SUB FOR YOU
Kantii: *sighs* Obviously. So,
what's the puzzle?
Door 1: ONE OF US SPEAKS LIES. ONE OF US SPEAKS TRUTH
Door 2: FIGURE OUT WHICH IS WHICH
BY ASKING ONE AND ONLY ONE QUESTION
Chizu: What's two plus two?
Door 1: FOUR
Door 2: SEVENTY-
THREE
Chizu: *points at Door 1* He's telling the truth.
Door 1: CURSES
- the doors open wide,
revealing a narrow hallway*
Captain: Yar, it be this way! *runs down the hall, followed by the OGers.*
Audience: *Applause*