Gamehiker Member OG 7 Page 3

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Author: GORE-ILLA

*After the brutal onslaught, all the OGers are chained to giant anvils.*

Guiseppie: We'll keep you all up there until you learn your lesson!

Bio Guiseppie: Except for Dark Ditto... (at his command, a horde of sidekicks start shoving Dark Ditto's anvil towards the nearby harbor)

Donkey Congo: Wait, no! This is our prey! You cannot interfere with the hunt! (nods to Luigi, who produces a laser sword and starts cutting everyone loose while Lupus and Golem wait to beat them with lead pipes)

Guiseppie: Hey... if you bad guyz weren't causing all this trouble, there would be no need for heroes OR sidekicks. We'd all be equal! (everyone gasps)

Donkey Congo: Oh, so it's like that! Fine then, the hunt is on!

*The villains and the sidekicks rush towards each other like in the opening theme song of many a 90's cartoon, but instead of exploding and leaving behind a logo they just start beating the crap out of each other. Of course there are hundreds of more sidekicks, but the sidekicks are inexperienced and unsure of how to face bad guys without their heroes, and so they are slowly losing.*

Masamune: (cuts Dark Ditto free)

Dark Ditto: What are you waiting for? Let's crush those sidekicks!

Lady in Red: (still chained, along with GORE, Marin, GM and Tiffa) Hey what about us?

SteveT: Er, no time!

Vorpal: Sorry Tiffa!

*The four of them rush in and help the others beat the sidekicks up. Dark Ditto starts wrestling both Guiseppies. Masamune chases Dodo, plucking feathers with his sword. Lupus starts eating Fred. Golem uses one of those manhole lids he's so proud of to pummel Rhyk. Luigi uses the Force to slam his Goombas into each other. Vorpal focuses his attacks on those guys he can't remember. Lynel runs as fast as he can while Steve approaches with an axe. And Donkey Congo stays on the sidelines, setting traps that the various other sidekicks fall for.*

Tiffa: Dammit, how can we get down from here?!

GORE: Oh great, don't tell me we're the only five protagonists left in this story.

GM: Aren't there any sidekicks that might help us?

GORE: Hm... I dunno. Maybe that Sapphire, but she always was a bad seed.

Lady in Red: Take that back! I'M Sapphire, and I'm definitely no sidekick!

Marin: What are you talking about?

Lady in Red: Fine, I'll show you! (changes back into Sapphire) I am NOT a sidekick!

Guiseppie: (flutters away from Dark Ditto momentarily) Oh man, one of our sidekicks must have been tied up by accident! I'll set you loose Sapphire.

Sapphire: (is untied) Thank you. (kicks Guiseppie, who starts spitting up coins) AND I'M NO SIDEKICK!

*Sapphire turns back to Lady in Red and frees the others, then they rush off to face a great decision- whether to help their former sidekicks or their enemies who one were friends?*

Author: Masamune

~Meanwhile, on a peaceful secluded planet~

Rghrty: Life is great, I think I'll fall asleep.

Aeiou: The third planet in the Sol system is emanating radioactive ways of awesome yet confusing battling.

Rghrty: So?

Aeiou: Considering our planet has no noteworthy history to speak of and we all are just basically humans without ears, the planet is going to blow up.

Rghrty: Sounds like a sucky planet.

Aeiou: I meant our planet.

Rghrty: Oh.

~planet explodes~

~Meanwhile~

Luigi: I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if a pointlessly created planet was needlessly eliminated.

Splog: Needless this. *bites Luigi's head*

Luigi: Ow.

Masamune: *ties up a sack with Dodo in it* What side are we on again?

Steve: I don't remember. What sides are there?

Vorpal: At least four. Maybe ten.

Masamune: Hey narrator, could you give us info on what sides there are?

Narrator: Oh fine. You three are technically with the OGers, but plan to doublecross them.

Vorpal: A good plan, that.

Narrator: Multiple sidekicks led by both Guiseppes. The remaining five OGers who are not you three. And the B.A.D.G.U.Y.Z. led by Donkey Kongo.

Steve: Is that all?

Narrator: Also Straw Man, who currently believes he is St. Peter.

Straw Man: *shakes fist* One day I'll out narrate you! [/Holiday Special Foreshadowing]

Vorpal: I think we all know what's going to happen at this point.

Steve: *checks wristwatch, which even suits of armor wear, because they're awfully trendy* Deus ex machina.

~a portal appears out of nowhere~

GORE: A portal from nowhere! *gets shot in the head by Donkey Kongo* Ow, hey.

~from out of the portal comes a giant Victorian Thirty-Gunner Frigate that has a giant blimp-like balloon thing on top instead of sails which skids on to the ground. Suddenly a crew of angelic zombie ninja pirate dwelves (dwarf/elf hybrids) jump off from either side~

Golem: That's impossible, such creatures could not exist!

Cap'n Sensei: Surrender puny whatever this dimension is-people!

Roy: I believe I should explain. Ninjas and pirates, dwarves and elves, and angels and zombies are like total opposites. You can't put just one combo together, much less all three at the same time. It totally messes up everything.

Cap'n Sensei: Yes, well. *shoots Roy*

Roy: ARGH! *falls over*

Cap'n Sensei: Minions, attaaaaack!

Steve: Well damn, they were a minute late.

Author: GORE-ILLA

((Gamehiker Member OG 7 Pages}}