Member OG 7 Page 3

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Author: Yami Yoshi

~Yami Yoshi stares up at the enormous pink blob of fat with an expression of utter repulsion.~

Yami Yoshi: Pssh…gross…I’m supposed to fight this pink piece of ****?

Flog: Grrrrr…you make fun of Flog! Flog crush you!

~Flog curls his body into a ball and rolls towards Yami Yoshi.~

Yami Yoshi: Dark Omelet!

~Yami Yoshi hurls a barrage of Dark Eggs at Flog which bounce uselessly off of Flog’s rubbery skin.~

Flog: RURRGH!! FLOG MAKE PANCAKE OUT OF YOU AND EAT YOU!!

~Flog continues rolling towards Yami Yoshi...~

Author: GORE-ILLA

*...Yami Yoshi realizes that he can't roll to the side since Flog's width leaves no room on the mat to either side. And jumping over the tower of fat would be impossible, and Yami cursed himself for leaving the house without a blue shell. Attacking it didn't seem to wrok either. So Yami did the only thing he could do.*

Flog: PANCAKE PANCAKE PANCAKE!!!!

Yami Yoshi: Shut your gargantuan mouth already, you... that's it!

*Yami Yoshi realized taht if this plan failed, there would be no chance to retry. His aim had to be perfect. So he bent his knees and sprung from the ground, straight at Flog.*

Flog: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?

*Yami Yoshi flies right into Flog's open mouth just in time. Flog then stops as he reaches the edge of the mat and clamps his mouth shut before preparing to swallow.*

Yami Yoshi: DARK OMELET!!!

*Flog explodes from the inside, showering the room with pig organs, digested food and a lot of ham.*

Yami Yoshi: You may be an inpenitrable blob of cholesterol on the outside, but on the inside you're just a fragile piniata waiting to be snapped open! ...Man I'm drunk.

Ref: Da dino wins!

*The ref tackles Yami Yoshi and forces him into the glass room. Through the transperentness he sees the remaining OGers and even Yamina mouthing congratulations or giving thumbs-up.*

Saru: Beh. You losers won't last long.

Yami Yoshi: Hey! At least I have friends, you crazed fire-monkey-man!

Saru: I don't need "friends" in this dimension. All I have is myself. I don't need fools hanging around me and making sappy speeches. That "friendship" didn't help GORE at all.

Yami: Shut up now! We're not splitting apart anytime soon! The OG Six will be around forever!

Saru: That's the same thing the Party Goers said. Every group, all good things must come to an end. You'll find that out the hard way. You OGers will slowly drift away from each other or more simply be blown away. Friends get in the way. Friends are misplaced trust. Can I be any more Kaibaish?

Yami Yoshi: You jerk...

*Yami Yoshi winds up his fist to punch Saru only to find that Kantii has already slapped him.*

Kantii: You live without honor. You will not be missed when you lose in the tournament and disappear. The same cannot be said about poor GORE.

Saru: Enough of this, you idealistic turkey! I just can't wait to set your feathers on fire. I'm going to mediate in that corner now.

*Saru starts to walk away.*

Saru: The stubborn ones are always the ones blown apart...

Author: AaronGuy

~Meanwhile~

Ref: The next match is Culex versus ..~squints down at the card~ Verne?

Man in Green: Verde! Mister Verde!

Ref: Oh. Of course. Well, you two are next.

Culex: ~nods~ All right then.

Ref: Begin!

Culex: Flames of Atremis! ~throws three balls of fire at Verde~

Verde: Projectiles? Please. ~Holds up one of his gloved hands~

Fire Balls: ~are attracted to the hand, but dissipate into blue smoke when they come in contact with it~

Culex: What in the..?

Verde: Barrier Glove. Made it myself. Like it?

Culex: Hmph. Nice toy, but I have some tricks up my sleeve too. Sword of Orion! ~forms the sword in his hand~ Prepare to.. URGH! ~slumps down~

Verde: ~watches, slightly amused~

Culex: No... How could I still be so weak? It's been a long time since I've been cut off from Varunia...

Verde: If you're done... Exploding Stars! ~Throws several shurikens at Culex, which explode on contact~

AaronGuy: Oh no...

Culex: ~out~

Ref: Wow. Er, Verde wins. Take this one away.

Guards: ~Drag Culex away~

AaronGuy: No... NO! CULEX!

~Down in the basement~

Guard 1: All right, let's extract this guys soul. ~place Culex on a table~

Guard 2: Right. Geez, this always gives me the creeps... ~pushes a button~

~Culex's body spasms, then lays still. A white OG soul rises from his body. However, it looks very different. The soul seems shrivled, and dim, but there are three red veinlike lines running across the soul, pulsating red and glowing brightly- the three connections to Akujin's realm~

Guard 2: What the hell? This one doesn't look right.

Guard 1: Hey, a souls a soul. Besides, it's the body we want, right? ~pushes another button~

Culex's Body: ~gets whisked away into a room~

Guard 2: Guess so. Let's extract this one's energy.

~Suddenly, the soul shakes violently. Two of the red lines strike out, piercing the two guards. They are dead before they reach the ground. The soul then flies in an erratic circle towards the nearest intact body...~

Blonde Guy: Ugh... What happened? The last thing I remember is getting hit by those stars, and... and... and why is my voice different? ~looks down~ AGH! And why do I LOOK different?! ~thinks~ I don't know why, but they changed my body for some reason. Now I must be weaker than ever. But why? I should at least have been able to use a spell. Unless... Those three Akujin shadows I absorbed. They must be feeding off my soul, like tapeworms. If I can expel them, I should be just fine. ~checks himself over~ But I can't do it in a human body. Opening up a human chest is messy. I wonder what this human was called, anyhow?

~The Blonde Guy, obviously Culex, looks down on his jacket. In silver letters, he sees the insignia 'Space H'.

Culex: Space... Harold? What an odd name. Well, before I do anything else, I should see about finding GORE. Or, what's left of him... I fear the worst...

Author: Golem

~A gorilla's fist hits Harold in the back. Harold turns around and sees GORE, with four guards running after him. The gorilla is gone as soon as he came, and the guards whiz past Harold. He chases the guards and calls to GORE.~

Harold: GORE!

GORE: Yeah?!

Harold: Just making sure!

~Harold's fist lights up a bit before it slams into the backmost guard's head. The guard continues running, unphazed. Soon guards are on Harold's tail as well. In the winners' room, Verde observes those still fighting.~

Verde: You are the ones they call the OGers, right?

Yami: That would be me. Saru is a dork and Kantii is a newb.

Verde: I see. Tell me, had you thought before placing the western hemisphere back on the map?

Yami: Huh?

Verde: I thought so.

~GORE runs up to the glass from the outside and punches it with his metallic fist and falls back, not a single crack left in the wall. The four guards rush up to him.~

Author: GORE-ILLA

*SwordMaster, on his way to his mat, stops when he sees one of the fighters.*

SwordMaster: Can it be... Bat-Ear Mirawk?

*The man standing at the mat has the head of the bat and is facing off with a black night.*

Referee: Undefeated Master Swordsman Bat-Ear Mirawk against the Black Knight. Now... start!

SwordMaster: I can't believe it! Is this for real?

Bat-Ear: You are not worthy of my time, mechanical beast. So I use my weakest blade on you.

*Bat-Ear reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rubber sword from a McDonald's kid's meal which is only several centimeters long. The Black Knight swings a spiked ball-and-chain and sword around threateningly as it approaches Bat-Ear. Bat-Ear dashes past Black Knight with indeterminable speed. The armor then stands still for a few seconds before it falls apart into a heap of junk.*

SwordMaster: Impossible...

Bat-Ear: This is simple. Why pay for a new toaster when I can get it for free from cutting these sticks of butter?

*A guard gathers the Black Knight's remains and slowly walks away. SwordMaster breaks out of his trance and rushes back to his mat in time for his battle.*

Shade: Remember ME??!!!

SwordMaster: (mumbling) Thinks he's all fancy with his freakish face and rubber sword... I'll show him who's a real swordmaster...

Shade: Um, hello! It's me, your opponent, Shade, waiting to kill you and avenge the MPVP! You could barely beat me four OGs ago.

SwordMaster: Yeah, then Introbulus pwned you twice in MOG4 and then again in MOG5. Then we all opened a can of whoop-ass on you in MOG6, even though you had that fancy transparency trick.

Shade: Too bad I traded that in to buy these nifty sneakers...

Referee: SwordMaster Vs. Shade! Fig- SwordMaster wins!

*Shade is carried away on a stretcher. SwordMaster walks past a group of guards dog-piling GORE-ILLA while Harold tries to hold them off. SwordMaster walks up to Bat-Ear Mirawk.*

SwordMaster: So! What do you think?

Bat-Ear: Huh? Oh, you're that man with the misdenoming name who beat that Shade man like a fly beating a gnat.

SwordMaster: It's cooler than you with your rubber swords!

Bat-Ear: I don't like wasting the effort of my Eight-Sword Style!

SwordMaster: Eight-Sword Style??!!!!

Bat-Ear: I guess I can show you...

*In the background, GORE-ILLA and Harold's faces are pressed against the glass by the increasing amounts of guards while Bat-Ear pulls out eight extremely cool-looking swords- holding two in his hands, two with his feet, one in his mouth, two with his ears and one with his nose. Don't ask how.*

Yami Yoshi: Hey SwordMaster, GORE's in trouble!

SwordMaster: This is my companion- Yami Yoshi the world savior, perfect partner to the world's greatest swordfighter.

Bat-Ear: Yes? And what is your dream?

Yami Yoshi: To be king of the pirates!

Bat-Ear: Shut up. I don't like you. Now I have to go count my teeth.

SwordMaster: We sure showed him!

Yami Yoshi: Huh?

*In the background, the guards drag away GORE and Harold. Harold, however, is able to break fee and makes a mad dash across the room.*

Author: Yami Yoshi

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