LaAoM Series 1
| Series in The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto |
| 1 - 2 - 3 - Dr. Wily - Lemony Fresh 1 - Lemony Fresh 2 |
Mario500
This will be the ongoing story of Shigeru Miyamoto's daily life, with many twists and turns. (Our story begins at Nintendo Co. Ltd. Shigeru is on his way to work until a strange man stops him near by.)
???: Hey Shiggy, how are the new games for Gamecube doing?
Miyamoto: Sorry, can't tell you. The game plans are compleatly top secret.
???: Oh come on Shiggy, tell your best friend about the games.
Miyamoto: I don't even know you, so leave now.
(Shigeru enters the Nintendo building)
???: You'll be sorry, Shigeru Miyamoto!!!!!!!
To be continued...
Lupus
Shiggy enters the building, walks down a few corridors to the offices, and enters one. Shiggy: So, how's work on Super Ultra Dooper Mario Bloodshed Gun Bang Bang Violence Sex Sex Sex Pornographic Gut Eating Blood Sucking Vampire NC-17 going, Guy?
Guy: Actually we changed it to Super Mario Sunshine.
Shiggy: SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE?? But this game is supposed to be the ultimate creation of Nintendo! And we can't have it with such a woosy name as Super Mario Sunshine!
Guy: Sorry, but the fact is that Super Ultra Dooper Mario Bloodshed Gun Bang Bang Violence Sex Sex Sex Pornographic Gut Eating Blood Sucking Vampire NC-17 wouldn't fit on the box. We had to shorten it. And anyway, look on the bright side... uh... whoops, there is no bright side.
Shiggy: Darn!
Shiggy steps out and walks down the corridor, coming to another office. he peeks in.
Shiggy: So, how's work coming on Gario, Guigi and their rivals Pario and Parguigi going, Worker?
Worker: Bad. I can't get an original idea for Gario's moustache, and Parguigi's laugh sounds just like every other evil character's.
Shiggy: Hmm..
Worker leans closer.
Worker: Truth is, we just mixed Waluigi's, Bowser's and Wario's together. But they won't know that.
Shiggy nods and walks over to another office. he looks in to see two people working on plots.
Shiggy: How's the plot going for the new game?
Dude: Perfect. Here, listen to this. One day, Princess Peach is kidnapped, right, by Bowser. Then Mario gos to rescue her. We've decided to leave Luigi out for reasons they we cannot explain (basically because we have no reasons). Anyway, Mario travels through a few cliched worlds, and faces Bowser. And then Mario defeats Bowser and rescues the Princess. Perfect, huh?
Shiggy: Nice and original, that's how I like it. keep up the good work.
Shiggy leaves, and then heads towards his own office, ready to do some work.
Kolorado
Shigeru relaxes until he realizes somthing. Shigeru: Time for another audition!!
He types up a message and a minute later every Anime and Game charitor under the sun lines up outside his office.
Shigeru: Fist person in!
Meowth: That's me!
Shigeru: A Pokémon!?
Meowth: Ya we all heard, you've got like all of them outside your office.
Shigeru: Hmmmm ALL POKéMON AND THEIR TRAINERS ARE EXCEPTED!!
Pokémon: YAY!!
They all leave, leaving him with the weirdo's.
Shigeru: Next!
The most popular 7 bad guys walk/roll in.
Koopalings: Hi Shigeru!
Shigeru: THE KOOPALINGS!?
Larry: Well everyone that was drawn under the sun came here. And so we came too.
Ludwig: And you haven't used us in a game for ages!
Iggy and Lemmy: Yeah!
Wendy: My beauty wasted!
Roy: Your beauty what about my power!?
Morton: We have a million reasons why.
Shigeru: Hmmm we need some badguys.... You are actually hired!!
Koopalings: ....YAY!!!
3 hours later.....
Shigeru: *groans* Next....
A strange looking girl walks in.
Shigeru: Name...?
???: Misty Briefs.
Shigeru: ...... OH MY GOD!!!
Misty: Relax I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna FIGHT!!
Shigeru: A-are you as bad as your father?
Misty: No. I am like 10 times nicer.
Shigeru: Well since this is a new game... you're hired!
Misty: Yeah!!
Mario 500
(The strange man comes near Miyamoto's office) ???: Shigeru is going to pay for not letting me see Nintendo's new games.
(Leaves a small package near the office)
???: Ah ha, that you take care of him!
Miyamoto: Ahh, I wonder who left me this gift.
(Miyamoto opens it and it turns out to be a strange vortex.)
Miyamoto: What the...
(The vortex sucks up everything in sight.)
Meowth: Help!!! I came for an audition, not to get sucked into something!
All Koopalings: Help!!!
(Everyone, including the whold building gets sucked in, except Miyamoto and the strange man)
???: Now you'll never stop me, ahahaahahah!
Miyamoto: This is inhuman! Who are you?
Willy Higinbotham: I am, Willy Higinbotham! Now my plan to take over all video game companies and prove that I'm the true inventor of video games.
(Willy get sucked down vortex.)
To be continued...
Bodacious
Miyamoto starts to get sucked into the vortex but just before he gets sucked in Hiroshi Yamauchi grabs him and shuts the package. Miyamoto: Oh man,thanks Yamauchi I almost got sucked into some kind of alternate dimension there.
Yamauchi: I didn't come here to chit chat sonny. I've made an official business decision.
Miyamoto(thinking to himself): Oh ****, I might have been better off in the vortex.
Yamauchi: I've decided to recall all of the gamecubes and change them into cartridge format.
- Miyamoto's jaw drops*
Yamauchi: Of course changing all the games into cartridge format will take some time, so we probably won't be able to re-release the gamecube until late 2004.
- Miyamoto's eyes start to water*
Yamauchi: Being in cartridge format we'll lose all our third party support, as if they mattered.
- Miyamoto falls down and starts going into convulsions*
Suddenly the package opens back up and a hand grabs Miyamoto and pulls him into the vortex. Miyamoto wakes up an hour later chained up to metal table. Willy Higinbotham walks up to Miyamoto.
Willy: Well well, look who decided to wake up and join the party.
Miyamoto: Do you expect me to talk?!
Willy: Huh, what are you talking about?
Miyamoto: I don't know.
Willy: I've had enough of your silliness, Miyamoto. I wan't to introduce you to my creation.
Miyamoto: What did you attach ROB to a toaster again?
Then an evil looking version of Miyamoto with a w on his tie walks in.
????: Nice to meet you Miyamoto, I AM WIYAMOTO!!!
To be continued...
Lupus
Miyamoto: Hey! You copied my name! or was it just a coincidence that he looks and sounds exactly like me? Willy: You fool! This bot has the power to take over the world, just like my other bot, Alama Bin Largeden!
Miyamoto: Who?
Willy: Nevermind! Goodbye, Mr. Miyamoto! *sets laser so it goes slowly between his legs*
Miyamoto: Noooooooo!!!!
- Wakes up. He'd fallen asleep at his desk*
Miyamoto: Oh, it was just a dream!
- Someone rushes in. It's Mario.*
Mario: Mama mia! We have-a two bosses-a!
Miyamoto: What do you mean, two bosses?
- Wiyamoto walks into the room*
Wiyamoto: Well, good evening, Mr. Miyamoto!
Miyamoto: Get out of my office, now!
Wiyamoto: I am setting up my own game company, called Win-Ten-Dough. It will your death in the gaming industry!
Miyamoto: How do you intend to survive without a character as charming and loyal as Mario?
Wiyamoto: I have created the ultimate character! Wario!
Miyamoto: That's already been done.
Wiyamoto: *softly* Really? Oh well *back to screaming* I shall call him Wiyario!
Miyamoto: Oh no! Do you have any idea on what you've done?
Wiyamoto: Nothing yet. But soon! I shall rule the world with my characters by my side! Wiyario, Woshi, Wowser, Wink, Welda, Woad! Plus, many many more! Wha ha ha ha ha ha!!
Miyamoto: What's your obsession with "W"?
Wiyamoto: Faulty wire.
Miyamoto: Oh. Willy musn't be a very good engineer.
Wiyamoto: You can say that again.
Bodacious
Miyamoto: Willy musn't be a very good engineer. Wiyamoto: That was a figure of speech M-PANTS! But I'll tell you what isn't a figure of speech, THIS GUN!
- Wiyamoto pulls out gun*
Just then Hiroshi Yamauchi walks in.
Yamauchi: What in the hell is going on in here.
Wiyamoto: Haha I'm going to capture you and force you to run the business side of my company.
- 5 years later in the office on the 75th floor of the Wintendo builing*
Yamauchi: And that is the end of my 7 hour presentation of why we should wait 2 more years to release the Wamecube so that we can release the games in the over-expensive Super VHS format.
- Wiyamoto sticks his head out the window and pukes*
Wiyamoto: Don't you get it you retard?! Were finished. Over the past 5 years Nintendo Has already released the Gamecube2 and is already at work on the super secret project Ultra-Dolphin512. And because of lack of interference from YOU They own the market! Hell Nintendo owns the world, Stanley the bugman is now STANLEY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, the entire continent of Austrailia was used to make the NintendoWorld theme park, and all the Mcdonalds' in the world have been turned into Neglected Charachter Burgers. It's all over!
Yamauchi: But we still have money right?
Wiyamoto: WRONG! We spent all our money on this fancy building, and trying to make the Wamecube to YOUR approval.
Suddenly a mysterious figure walks into the room.
????: Heh heh heee... It's just as I planned.
The figure walks into the light revealing himself to be none other than... WILLY HIGINBOTHAM!!!
To be continued...
Lupus
Yamauchi: Just as you planned? Wiyamoto: JUST AS YOU PLANNED???
Willy: Yes. I wanted you to bankrupt. Why? I do not know. I never will. I just thought it sounded good. But anyway, you're both fired. You'll be moving out of your offices tomorrow morning, and getting replaced by my two ultimate robots to date.
Wiyamoto: No! You cannot replace me, Robot 784 Project B Jesepococococol Version 2: Codename Wiyamoto! Who is this robot??
- Another robot walks into the room, covered in a cloak so no one could see his face*
Willy: Say hello to Robot 784 Project B Jesepococococol Version 3: Codename The Knight Who Says Ekky Ekky Ekky Fatang Fatang! *Another robot walks in.* Robot 784 Project B Jesepococococol Version 4: Codename Wats
- Will pulls off the cloaks, revealling a freaky guy, who's taller than everyone, and another who has really huge hair, just like Cats.*
Wats: How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
Wiyamoto: What you say??
Wats: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha!! Die! *shoots laser at Wiyamoto and Yamauchi. They both die.
Willy: You did well Knight. Now, we must do our ultimate goal! COMPLETE GAMING WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHA HA HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!! First, we must create Wony, and Weena!
Wats: Ha ha ha ha!
Knight: Don't you think Weena has an unfortunate name?
Willy: I must change Sega's name somehow! Are you opposing my plans?
Knight: Uh, no, but-
Willy: Wats! Kill him!
Wats: Ha ha ha ha!
- Shoots beam at Knight, who dies*
Willy: Now, we must take over Sony! You walk in there! What do you say to them?
Wats: All your base are belong to us.
Willy: Good. Then we go to Sega and we get their president. What do you say?
Wats: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Willy: Great! Then, at the feast tonight, I will make an announcement to my other bots about world domination. When I introduce you, you say?
Wats: How are you gentlemen?
Willy: Perfect! I see my destiny layed out in front of me! Bwa ha ha ha!
Wats: Ha ha ha ha!
Bodacious
- That night at the feast*
WILLY: Attention robots!
WATS: All your base are belong to us!
WILLY: Not now, Wats.
WILLY: As you can all see I have the presidents of all the major video game companies chained to metal tables, including my old friend Wiyamoto.
ThePresidents: Let us go!
Wiyamoto: You'll never get away with this Willy Higinbotham!
WILLY: Oh, I'm soooo sorrry Wiyamoto, but I'm afraid I already have!
Robots: AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
TheOtherPresidents: Let us go!
WILLY: I don't think so... NO! But what I will do is let you alll watch my vhs copy of the life and adventures of Miyamoto.
Willy pops the tape in the vcr, and the presidents couldn't be more confused, especially Wiyamoto. A gigantic screen comes down from the ceiling, showing the movie.
(Movie)???: Hey Shiggy, how are the new games for Gamecube doing?
(Movie)Miyamoto: Sorry, can't tell you. The game plans are compleatly top secret.
(Movie)???: Oh come on Shiggy, tell your...
Willy: It continues on like this for a while, let me fast forward it.
- Fast Forward*
(Movie)Tenchi Mario Jr: Ignores the OG.
(Movie)Mario500: I know you must be kidding. Somebody...
- Fast Forward*
(Movie)Guy: Dooper Mario Bloodshed Gun Bang Bang Violence Sex Sex...
- Fast Forward*
(Movie)Wiyamoto: Don't you get it you retard?!
Willy: Ok here comes the important part.
(Movie)Wiyamoto: Were finished. Over the past 5 years Nintendo Has already released the Gamecube2 and is already at work on the super secret project Ultra-Dolphin512. And because of lack of interference from YOU They own the market! Hell Nintendo owns the world, Stanley the bugman is now STANLEY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, the entire continent of Austrailia was used to make the NintendoWorld theme park, and all the Mcdonalds' in the world have been turned into Neglected Charachter Burgers. It's all over!
(Movie)Yamauchi: But we still have money right?
(Movie)Wiyamoto: WRONG! We spent all our money on this fancy building, and trying to make the Wamecube to YOUR approval.
(Movie)Suddenly a mysterious figure walks into the room.
(Movie)????: Heh heh heee... It's just as I planned.
(Movie)The figure walks into the light revealing himself to be none other than... WILLY HIGINBOTHAM!!!
- pause*
WILLY: Now the question you must all be asking yourselves right now is why would he do that? BE HIM MAD?!! Nay! Well here is your answer!
- WILLY takes off his mask revealing himself to be none other than Miyamoto!!! With an M!!!*
Wiyamoto: But.. but.. but.. you were pulled into the vortex!!! How!!!
Miyamoto: Actually that was just a dream I had.
Wiyamoto: HOLY ****!!! This is just like one of those surprise endings like Sixth Sense or Fight Club. for if you all remember after the dream sequence, Miyamoto and WILLY were not ever in the same place together, not even once!
TheOtherPresidents: HOLY ****!! THAT IS WEIRD!!!
Wiyamoto: So, it looks like you only created me to get Yamauchi out of your way so Nintendo could actually make good business decisions and ultimately rule the market! As a side effect leaving you as the supreme ruler of the Earth, but I'm sure that's a sacrifice your willing to make, isn't that right Miyamoto!!!
Miyamoto: Yes, and I'm sorry, but...
- turns on the laser*
Miyamoto: Your services will no longer be required!!!!
Robots: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!
To be continued...
Lupus
Miyamoto: Mwah ha ha ha ha ha! The gaming universe is mine! All mine! ????: Not yet, Miyamoto!
Miyamoto: What? Who are you?
????: I am... ????!
Miyamoto: So your name is ?????
????: No, just ????
Miyamoto: That's what I said. I had to put the question mark on the end. I was asking a question.
????: Oh, OK. ENOUGH BABLING! HAND OVER THE PRINCESS!
Miyamoto: What Princess?
????: Uh... this is the set for Shrek 2: ????'s Attack, correct?
Miyamoto: No. This is the set for The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto. Here, take a free DVD copy. It has groovy special features, like a Making Of, and a really cool trivia game!
????: Why thank you, and farewell.
Miyamoto: Now, where were we. Oh yes, I was laughing my head off. Wha ha hah hah ha! *looks around* Wha ha ha ha ha!! *looks around again, then checks his watch* Wha ha hah ha! *checks his watch again.* Darn, he's late.
Superman: Never fear, my brothers! I will defeat Miyamoto and free you all!
Miyamoto: Oh no! it's Superman! *whispers* You're late. *loud again* Wats, attack!
Wats: How are you gentlemen?
Superman: Kung pow! *chops Wat's head off with a karate chop*
Wats: Alllllll base belong... *fizz*
Miyamoto: You shall pay! Weach! Waisy! Walline! Go get him!
Weach: Superman, I have baked a cake for you. Please come to the castle.
Waisy: Thank you Superman. Oh Superman. *changes into random bug*
Walline: Help! Help!
Weach, Waisy and Walline attack Superman, but Superman destroys them all.
Miyamoto: I'm afraid you'll have to face my ultimate robots! Android 18! Android 17! Cell!
Cell: I must absorb Superman to become Perfect Cell!
Superman: Oh no!
TO BE CONTINUED
Bodacious
Superman: I will destroy all of you, because I am truly... Superman pulls off his mask revealing himself to be an evil robot clone of Bill Cosby named...
Wozby: WOZBY!!! I am Miyamoto's ultimate creation, and you are the one who will be absorbed Cell!!! To make ME more powerful!!!
Cell: How could you betray us Miyamoto?!
Miyamoto: Very easy I'm afraid, you see I programmed you to be extra gullible.
Cell: But why would you do this to us? Your own creations!!!
Miyamoto: Well betrayel makes for a good storyline, and if this movie does well I'll be able to make a video game adaption. You see, if the movie and the game sell well then I'll have enough money to build a cosmic death ray, and with that Nintendo, which is run by me, will rule the world!!!
Miyamoto: Wozby... start sucking!!!
To be Continued...