Lemony Fresh Cleaning Co. 2: The Revenge

Ran from December 08, 2002 to February 01, 2003 (unfinished).

Series in The Life and Adventures of Miyamoto

1 - 2 - 3 - Dr. Wily - Lemony Fresh 1 - Lemony Fresh 2

Lemonjello

The year is 2045. Lemony Fresh Cleaning Company is now much, much more than a Guam based cleaning company. It nows ons many of the world's major industries. It's president, Luigi Mario, is the most powerful man in the world. But...Luigi is not satisfied. Despite owning almost every country on Earth, Luigi has not yet killed Mario. Desptie Mario's IQ of -456, he has survived over 2,576 assination attempts by Luigi. We begin our story in Luigi's monstorous HQ in Guam...

Luigi: Gaspar...I am dieing...yet I have not accomplished my one goal in life...to kill the man who has brought me so much pain and suffering...Mario! *Luigi slams his fist down on his desk*

Gaspar: Sir, I know of one we may be able to kill Mario.

Luigi: What is it?

Gaspar: one of our first cleaning fluids, Lemony Pinely Fresh No. 53 was extremely deadly. It destroyed any organic matter which it came into conatact with. If we could capture Mario, lock him in a room, and flood the room with...

Luigi: No! I'm tired of all of these subtle attempts on Mario's life. Ready my airship Gaspar, we're going to the Mushroom Kingdom. Bring any and all Lemony Pinely Fresh No. 53 in my HQ with you.

Gaspar: um, what are we doing sir?

Luigi: Destroying the entire Mushroom Kingdom!

Meanwhile, at the Mushroom Kingdom...

Toad; What a great day for a tea party! Don't you agre, Toad2?

Toad2: Why, yes.

Luigi's airship is seen overhead

Toad: What is that?

Toad2: Who cares? *sips some tea out of his cup*

Luigi's airship then released several impact release capsules full of No. 53 cleaning fluid.

Toad2: [insert long, horrible screams of pain here]

Toad: AAAARRGHHH!!! THIS IS THE WORST PAIN EVER!!! EVERY SINGLE NERVE ENDING IN MY BODY IS SCREAMING OUT IN AGONY!! YYYYYEEEEEAAAAGGGRRRGGHH!

Luigi: Execellent. Soon, the Mushroom Kingdom will be a vast wasteland...devoid of any life at all! [insert long, evil laugh here]

To be continued...

Fred In Bed

(meanwhile at chuckie cheeses...)

Mario: Mamma-mia! This pizza is-a pure a-grease! I can't believe I-a got stuck in-a the slide too! I should-a really get going-a back to mushroom kingdom!

Chuckie: You can never leave!!!

Mario: Oh, shut-a-up(throws fireball and leaves!)

Chukie: He always does that! I must have his sole! But first, I'm going to have a little nap (falls down)

(elsewhere)

Drew Carey: I award each of you 5674.(-9456) points!

Colin Mockery: But, but, THAT'S not possible!

Jackie Chan: Get out of my movie!

Colin: No. Comeon Ryan, let's get out of here!

Drew Carey: You cannot! You sold yourselves to myself and Lemony fresh ltd.!

Ryan Stiles: You're right! Well, we can get rid of you! TIME WARP! (Drew warps back in time)

(in the past)

Drew: Whose line is it anyway?

Napolean: Ohn hon hon! An english speaker! Il va fall on moi! Oh non! He weighs like 345 pounds! AIDE MOI! (dies)

(present)

Colin: Okay, let's go destroy that company!

Ryan: But it rules the world! And it's owned by my hero, Luigi!

Colin: Why is he your hero?

Ryan: 'Cause he's tall. Oh, whatever. Let's go kill him.

END OF POST!

Lupus

*Soon, the Mushroom Kingdom is a vast wasteland... devoid of any life at all*

Luigi: I feel great, Gaspar! I think I'm going to have a rest before I blow up... AMERICA!!! BWAHAHAHA!!

Gaspar: Bwahahahaha.

Luigi: Put some effort into it man. *heads into his airship, and into his room*

Ryan: I think that's Luigi.

Colin: No, that's Mario.

Wayne: You sure? He looks kinda like the Princess to me.

Greg Proops: Mama mia, mama mia, it's a papa Luigi's pizza, it's Italian, like spaghetti or the leaning tower of Piza!

Luigi: You fools! You won't leave this room alive!

*Ryan, Colin, Wayne and Greg leave the room alive*

TEN HOURS LATER

Colin: Our first plan has failed. BUT, we shall not be stopped until the streets of the world run free with Luigi's blood.

Wayne: You sure he has that much?

Ryan: SHH!!

Greg: Hmm?

Ryan: May I be the first to say this doesn't make any sense?

Colin: No, I'll have those honours. This doesn't make any sense.

Ryan: I already said that.

Colin: Nuhhuh you big poopy head.

Ryan: You take that back, you... stupid... person!!

*at that very moment, the evil lair of Colin is gassed by mix 53*

Luigi: I do hope that was a good lair.

Gaspar: I'm pretty sure it was an evil lair, sir.

Luigi: Nooo! What have I done! I killed innocent people! I can't live with myself! *throws himself over deck, and plummets into a huge forest. He gets up from the dirt, as Gaspar appears next to him* Hmmm... this place will be good for a new Lemony Fresh Warehouse.

Lemonjello

Luigi: Wait...there already is a warehouse. Odd. Gaspar, tell me why this is here.

Gaspar: Sir, with all due respect, I don't know a #@*$ thing about thos warehouse.

Luigi: Then we must go inside the warehouse...of...DOOM!!!

Gaspar: Yeah. Sure.

Narrator: And so Luigi and his brave assistant Gaspar advanced upon the warehouse...of...DOOM!!!

Gaspar: It's just a $%&@ warehouse. Nothing special about it.

Luigi: OMFG!!! THSI SI TEH WAREHOUSZE WHERRE I FUONDED LEMONY FRESH CLAENING CO!!!!!11

Gaspar: *scans the building with his tricorder* Captain, it appears that this building is inhabited by several humanoid life forms. Shall we attempt to go in?

Luigi: Spoooock...um, okay. Sure. Set your phasers to Cheese!

Narrator: And so opened the rusty doors of the warehouse...of...DOOM!!!

???: Why hello, Mister Luigi. How are things today?

Luigi: Well, they've been good. I committed genocide on the Mushroom Kingdom. Then I drank some iced tea. That scene wasn't used in the OG because Kermit the frog set it on fire. So, how are things going for you?

???: Fine, I guess.

Gaspar: Aren't we supposed to ask ??? who he/she/it really is?

Luigi: No, now be quiet.

Narrator: And so Luigi and Gaspar spent several days with ??? in his warehouse. They played Tennis For Two most of the day, but they also played some Pong on ???'s Atari. But, one rainy day, everything went horribly wrong...

Gaspar: ???, who are you?

???: Well, I'm really...QUINA!!!

Gaspar: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!111

Luigi: AAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!1

Narrator: And then Quina took Luigi and Gaspar away in his/her spaceship...of...DOOM! to the planet Shiggy VI, where Quina sold Luigi and Gaspar to the Mary Kay medical experiment team...

Lupus

Mary Kay: Now we must perform... TUNNELOZAP on Gaspar!

Gaspar: What? Noo!

Mary Kay: Medics, go!

Medics: Medic, medic medic!

Mary Kay: Medics, use your Tail Whip to slice Gaspar's stomach open!

Gaspar: Argh!

Medics: *has no PP for this attack*

Mary Kay: Noooo!!!! And I lost the recipt! I'll have to go and buy some more *walks away*

Guard: Gaspar, Luigi! You stay in this cell while Mary Kay is out.

Luigi: We have to escape!

Guard: I take NO bribes.

Gaspar: Please?

Guard: OK. Here's the deal. When MK and the Medics get back, I'll distract them with my eel collection and set of silver staplers while you escape.

Gaspar: How do we escape?

Guard: Silence! They're coming back.

Mary Kay: Guard! I need you to let them out!

Guard: But wait! First I must show you my eels and silver staplers!

Mary Kay: Oh... OK, then.

Gaspar: Here's our chance!

Luigi: I got it all under control! *takes out spoon and starts to dig and eat the cheese floor*

Guard: And this is Semsqueel, he likes to eat money.

Mary Kay: Fascinating.

*10 hours later*

Luigi: Phew, we're finally out!

*back in the medical centre*

Guard: And finally, this is John the Stapler. I use him to staple together tax returns.

Mary Kay: Well, its been interesting! But now I must use the Tail Whip on Gaspar! *heas over to the cell* WHATTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!?

Guard: What is it?

Mary Kay: Someone has dug a hole through my cheese floor! Gaspar and Luigi could escape!!

Guard: They have.

Mary Kay:: WHATTTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!

*meanwhile, ten miles away*

Luigi: Phew, we escaped.

Gaspar: But how do we get off this evil, evil planet?

TO BE CONTINUED...

Lemonjello

Luigi: We go through this plothole! *Luigi and Gaspar jump into the plothole and enter the city of Tokyo which Luigi once dominated*

Luigi: Strange...I see none of my huge corporate billboards sending subliminal messages into consumer's minds.

???: That is because I, Waluigi, have taken over your empire while you were at the planet of Mary Kay!

Luigi: Waluigi...? Hmmm...didn't we meet at law school or something?

Waluigi: No! I'm your evil clone that has on numerous occasions, tried to kill you in the most brutal and inhumane ways possible!

Luigi: Sorry, still can't remember you.

Waluigi: Guards! Seize Gaspar and Luigi at once!

Luigi and Gaspar are dragged off to Lemony Fresh death camps.

To be continued...

Lupus

Waluigi: Lemony Fresh is now the Guamish Mafia, and I am in control! Bwahahaha! I just said this line because it's informative.

Luigi: You'll never get away with this!

Waluigi: Yes, I will! *gets away with it*

Gaspar: Out of the frying pan and into the fire!

Luigi: Don't use that expression, as it doesn't accurately display what trouble we are in. It should be... "out of the Mary Kay planet and into the Lemony Fresh death camps".

Waluigi: Silence them, guards!

*the guards put black tape over Luigi and Gaspar's mouths*

Luigi: Mouf beam! *shoots a white beam out of his mouth, splitting the black tape and killing Waluigi*

Guards: What?!? What happened?

???: Guards! My sidekick Waluigi has been killed, but you still work for me! Do not let your guard down!

*Too late. Gaspar and Luigi murder the guards somehow*

???: Look behind you! A three headed monkey! *they do so, and ??? runs away*

Luigi: Drats! We're still in the prison camp of the Guamish Mafia, and we didn't get ???!