Story:Member OG 9

The archive of Member OG 9.

Author: Golem

If you don't wanna read much, just skip down to the final two paragraphs.

Last time, the gang started out in an underground cave near GORE's home after receiving a distress call through PL-0TT from Princess Lila (who was intending to contact the recently killed Bat-ear Mirawk!). In the cave, they uncovered a plot to do something to the world with the Cheese Star involving Lila's Pearls of Mystery, the same pearls GORE for some reason found in that cave. Yami also realized he had been toting Hades' soul since MOG6.

Using the Volksmonkey to board the Cheese Star up in outer space, the Members ran into a few of the OG Vets' souls, who were tired of staying with Rhyk. The Cheese Star was soon blown out of the sky, thanks to Fred putting up his dukes with Koopa Xtreme, who had betrayed Lupus and sought to use the Cheese Star for his own will. This was not before Rhyk was destroyed and turned into Syphnity, the topaz of knowledge, and not before Yami started to turn into cheese from the Cheese Star's air--and then came the Cheese Star Mk II.

Down came the Cheese Star Mk II, an attempt by Lupus to put a serious dent on Earth. However, Dark Cloak had other things in mind, and exercised power over a pocket of darkness he had installed by a minion, sending everything but the cheapanium core to S-Space, where it could not harm the Earth pertaining to MOGs, which is in R-Space. Thankfully, none of the gang was left in S-Space by this move--except Knock, who was immediately forgotten.

Koopa, upon meeting Lupus on the Earth by Yoshi's Island (now flooded by a wave caused by the cheapanium core), hopped right back to his master's side. They ran off to Lupus' palace in the Alps while Lupus let loose an army of Tim Allen robots and some mysterious beings called incorporals, who were apparently encased in cheddarnite. Just when it looked like the world had been completely ravaged by Lupus, he snatched the Pearls of Mystery and FINALLY put his plot into action.

Lupus used the pearls to power a device that somehow had the power to grant an incredible wish of his--to make the world flat. However, granting a wish caused disruption among the different spaces--something having to do with the relationship between R-Space and S-Space--and everything just heaped together. Dark Cloak's Dark Dimension (AKA S-Space) was now one with the universe of the OGers, and Introbulus' boss (who was in Q-Space) now walked on the Earth. The OGers held off the forces of Lupus, and thought they destroyed Eerie.

Long story short--our heroes botched it MOG5 style, Lupus used the precious Pearls of Mystery to make the world flat, unwittingly letting the control freak from Q-Space, Eerie, into our plane of existence, where he grabbed some artifact of immense power. Not only that, but with Dark Cloak's S-Space being one with our heroes' dimension, he's up to full power. Unfortunately for the OGers, the story ended a few pages short, leaving Lupus, Dark Cloak, and Eerie free to roam the Earth as loose ends. I'd say it's going to be a long day for the OGers. Unfortunately, it isn't. They've only got 15 posts to get the job done this OG. ...Make that 14 posts.

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Yami Yoshi (the dinosaur leader), GORE-ILLA (the cyborg gorilla with AMNESIA), SwordMaster (Defender of Cheesecake), Fusion (the armored godmodder), Lord Kantii of the Crows(a man who looks like a crow (or crow that looks like a man?)) and Chizu (the token femle and group healer) are gathered for a cheesecake dinner in Yami's Yoshi Island pad. The rest of the dozens of OGers are either, dead, missing, or busy elsewhere. The six OGers are about to dig into their cheesecakes when... something happens.*

Yami: Hey, does anyone hear some-

*A love cruise ship drives through the wall of the room.*

SwordMaster: Didn't see that one coming.

*Suddenly the mysterious Crap Villain leaps out of a wondow of the love cruise, swipes all of Yami Yoshi's cheesecake, then breaks one of his lamps and leaps back onto the ship.*

Yami: HE STOLE MY CHEESECAKE!!! AFTER HIM!!!

*All the OGers sigh and leap onto the lovce cruise ship as it drives through Yoshi's Island and finally reaches the ocean again.*

Fusion: Well I don't see him anywhere.

Yami: I don't care! Let's split up and search this ship for that Crap Villain! YAAARGH!!!

*Yami dashes off into a random hallway. The other OGers make sure Yami is gone, then make begin lounging on the deck. The ship continues smashing through islands and glaciers but somehow not breaking.*

Chizu: (laying in a beach chair) What's the captain doing?!

Captain: (in the beach chair next to her) On my break. By the way, welcome to our love cruise around the world. By the way, that'll be three thousand dollars per person.

Author: Golem

~Yami busts into yet another room.~

Yami Yoshi: AH-HAH!

~Yami, to his surprise, finds that the cheesecake is actually in this one. Along with a floating Ghost Guy (ghostly Shy Guy) who has a large sickle in his grasp.~

Yami Yoshi: Hand over the cheesecake!

Ghost Guy: Go ahead.

~Yami Yoshi dashes at the cheecake, which is on a table in the middle of the room. As he gets closer, it's overcome with green, and when he picks it up, it is a pile of mold.~

Yami Yoshi: Yulgh!! What have you done?!

Ghost Guy: ~whiny voice~ I don't have to tell you anything other than that my name is Grim Reaper. Mr. Grim Reaper to you.

Yami Yoshi: I want answers! That was my cheesecake!!

~Grim Reaper remains silent. Yami Yoshi lobs a Dark Egg at him, and he dodges. Yami Yoshi throws another Dark Egg while holding a Mummification Egg, and throws the Dark Egg at Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper dodges the Dark Egg, allowing for Yami to pin him with a Mummification Egg right when he dodges. Bandages consume Grim Reaper, and he drops his sickle.~

Yami Yoshi: Now... um... to make him talk somehow...

~The sickle disappears as a new ghost guy appears behind Yami Yoshi, holding the sickle. Suspicious of the disappearing sickle, Yami Yoshi gets close to the ground just as the new ghost guy swings the sickle, making the swing too high to hit Yami. Oddly enough, the bandaged ghost guy remains on the floor.~

Yami Yoshi: Grim Reaper?!

New Ghost Guy: That's mee-ee.

~Grim Reaper takes another swing, but Yami Yoshi activates his egg shield. Grim Reaper is close enough that he is caught midway in the forming egg shield, and it forms around him, causing him severe pain. Yami lets up the egg shield as soon as it hurts Grim Reaper, who falls. Yami grabs the sickle right away.~

Yami Yoshi: Alright, I've got your cut thing... and you won't get it back unless you tell me what's up.

~The Grim Reaper is silent for a few. Figuring he can't do a thing without the sickle, he decides to spill some beans.~

Grim Reaper: Well, my boss Eerie sent me on a mission to kill all cheesecakes. We're doing well so far, only an hour or so and the world will be wiped clean of cheesecakes.

Yami Yoshi: Why?!

Grim Reaper: With your cheesiness, you're as good as Lupus' ally now. More importantly, you'll need cheesecake to continue living, as vampires require blood.

~Yami Yoshi's eyes widen and Grim Reaper sees his chance. He zooms by and snatches the sickle before Yami Yoshi can react.~

Author: Fred

(MAKO-While, with Chizu AND THE GANG)

Captain: Avast, ye cannot pay that price, so now ye must pay THE PRICE!

Chizu: The price?

Captain: SEVEN PINTS OF BLOOD. Per head, plus shipping and handling, yar.

Chizu: Well, it just so happens I carry 40 litres of blood with me, everywhere I go. Here you go.

Captain: Arr, I not be able to use your damned witchcraft metric system! You're fired!

Kantii: No, mr. Spacely, no-

Captain: Keep that up, and the same will go for ye too.

Chizu: Erm, I'm not employed.

Captain: And ye do such fine work, too. You're hired, as the deck-swabber. Kantii, Ye shall be the cook. So that's I can kiss yer.

Kantii: Thanks, Cap'n!

(Screen goes red, close up on the Captain's face)

Captain: If ye ever call me by that title again, ye 'll be walking DER PLANK, jaa?

Kantii: I can swim. And, to a limited extent, fly.

Captain: Lllliar.

Fusion: I will be captain, I have every-

(The Captain pulls a switch, and Fusion's pants fall down, making him cry)

Captain: Arr, I've been saving that one ever since what ye did to me fath'r. Which was use his bank to transact money.

(M.A.S.H.-While, in the BRIG)

YY: I don't love you.

Grim Reaper: Then let's begin.

YY: No, I'm really not keen on working for Lupus. Or doing anything that benefits him. I just kind of like cheesecake. And a little, means a lot.

Grim Reaper: Oh. Well then, I'll be the token comedic relief that dies repeatively.

YY: I'm tired of you already.

(MALT-while)

Swordmaster: 'Scuze me, sah, but I need to ask you some questions.

Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: Speak, child, and I shall answer.

Swordmaster: No, maybe I don't feel like talking to you. Hey, is that Micheal Jackson?

(GORE walks up to the cloaked figure sitting down in a uncomfortable position, and sits down. He pulls out cards, and then realises he was trying to pull out a notebook, and does. He begins to write the date but repeatively breaks the pencils and pens he brings, and instead uses his eye-laser to write)

Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: I, child, am a fortune teller.

(GORE flips backwards, lands on his head, and holds his fingers up in a cross shape)

GORE: I don't wanna remember MOG1! Don't wanna Don't wanna Don't wannna!

Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: Well, I was going to help you and not randomly attack you, but if you insist...

GORE: Ah yes, forgot my manners. I am...

Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: You cannot undo what you have just done. Unless the writer uses CTRL-Z, but there's a low possibility of that. Anyways...

GORE: TELL ME WHERE CRAP VILLAIN'S BASE IS!

Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: That was an usual outburst.

GORE: Well, I remembered we were on a tight time budget. As well, I remembered that I still have splinters of that wooden arm, ouch. And that I still need an arm. In fact, I keep falling over. I do.

Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: I'm happy for you. However, it's not a matter of Where crap Villain's base is... it's WHEN.

GORE: No, I'm pretty sure it's where.

Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: Quiet, you damn kid. Your past will be revealed in the next OG, because we have nowhere else to throw it. No, the path to Crap Villain's base of OPERATIONS because it's water on the knees will be revealed in post 14. And he'll die of natural causes on post 15.

GORE: Don't bloody spoil it for us.

Cloaked figure sitting down in uncomfortable position: I was kidding about the last bit. However, I am around to spoil it for you, using my predictions, kinda like Life and Adventures of Miyamoto, except less restricted. The next post will be akin to a sitcom... the post after it shall involve giant pez dispensing-cockaroaches. And this post... THIS post, shall involve a bad Titanic parody, without the water scene, and mostly the sinking part.

GORE: Maybe you shouldn't talk so mu-ahhhh

(The ship runs into a gigantic nose in the water, and sinks, taking everyone UNDER THE SEA)

YY: Why's everything so cold, and pressurized, all of a sudden?

Grim Reaper: Stop it, the suspence is killing me! Literally! AHAHAH!

YY: I am hating you ever so much.

Author: AaronGuy

*To the theme of 'Love Boat'*

O-GEEES... SO TIRED AND TRUUUUUUE COME A- LOOOONG...
NOTHING BE-TTER TO DOOO...

CHEEEEEESE...
WHEN YOU BE-COME BOOOORED LET IT GOOOOOO...
AND IT WILL GROW MOLD FOR YOOOUUU!

THE CHEEEEEEEEESE CAAAAAAAAAAKE!
SOON WILL BE TAKEN AND ON THE RUUUUUN THE CHEEEESE CAAAAAKE...
PROMISES PLOT HOLES FOR EV-REY-OOOONE!
SET YOUR COURSE FOR ADVENTURE YOUR MIND OFF OF YAMI'S PAAAAAAAANTS...

CHEEEEEEESE.... WON'T HURT ANY MORE..
UN-N-LESS... YOU ARE STAN-DING NEAR GOOOOORE!
IT'S CHEEEEEEEESE!
Open Wide- IT'S CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!

*applause*

Narrator: MOG9 was filmed in front of a live studio audience, but to remove all witnesses ninjas followed each and every one of them to their homes and killed them in their sleep.

Yami: I never knew Love Boat was considered a sitcom.

Audience: *canned laughter*

Grim Reaper: Pah! You kids and your MTV. I bet you never even watched an episode.

Yami: No, but I HAVE tasted cheesecake, and I know what I like, and I like cheesecake, and since you ruined mine I'll have to kill you dead.

Audience: *gasp*

Grim Reaper: Strong words, Yoshi. But just words. Besides, how do you kill something that's already dead?

Yami: Post about it on an internet forum?

Audience: *canned laughter*

Grim Reaper: Clever, but words will never hurt me.

Yami: Oh really? What if I happen to say DARK OMELETTE?!

Grim Reaper: *waits for a moment* No, that didn't do any- *suddenly thrown backward by the explosion made by Yami's attack*

Yami: How about THAT?

Grim Reaper: Hey, no fair! Those words were secretly energy bombs in disguise!

Yami: Care for another?

Grim Reaper: Love to, but I think it's time for me to split. *points to the floor, which is beginning to get covered with a rising amount of water* Luckily, ghosts like me can escape no problem! *flys through the roof, except not, and bumps his head and falls down into the water*

Audience: *canned laughter*

Yami: Oh no! The sudden drop in temperature, the popping of my ears, the water leaking in... this ship has SUNK!

Audience: *gasps/screams*

Yami: I'd better go see if the others are okay! *runs out of the room, steppin on Grim in the process*

*meanwhile, just inside the ship*

Chizu: Hurry! We need to find a way to get out of here safely!

Kantii: It's a little late to get out safe considering we're all underwater now, I'd really rather just find ANY way out.

Captain: Yar, ye be lucky dogs, ye be. I thought ahead and got me a sub-marin'r in case of such a situation.

Fusion: Wait, you thought ahead just in case your ship happened to crash into a giant nose?

Captain: First rule of being a boy scout, yar.

Fusion: Rrgh... well, where IS this submarine?

Captain: Yar, it be toward the back of the ship, just above the brig. But to get there, ye must pass through the Sphinx doors.

Kantii: The what?

Captain: It be a security system I installed to make sure none of my mates stole me sub.

Fusion: Wait, where ARE your shipmates? I don't see any other sailors here.

Captian: Yar, they be part of the studio audience.

Audience: *uncomfortable silence*

Chizu: We're wasting time! Get us to these Sphinx Doors, pronto!

Captain: Yar, we already be there. They be behind you.

Chizu: What are you-

Loud Voice 1: WE ARE THE KEEPERS OF THE SUBMARINE

Loud Voice 2: SOLVE OUR PUZZLE AND WE SHALL GRANT PASSAGE

*Everyone except the Captain jumps in suprise, then turns around, noticing for the first time the two giant golden doors behind them. Each has a engraved sphinx on their lower half, and a crystal eye that glows when the door speaks. Door 1 has a green crystal, Door 2 a purple crystal*

Door 1: SOLVE OUR PUZZLE OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCE

Kantii: What's the consequence?

Door 2: NO SUB FOR YOU

Kantii: *sighs* Obviously. So, what's the puzzle?

Door 1: ONE OF US SPEAKS LIES. ONE OF US SPEAKS TRUTH

Door 2: FIGURE OUT WHICH IS WHICH BY ASKING ONE AND ONLY ONE QUESTION

Chizu: What's two plus two?

Door 1: FOUR

Door 2: SEVENTY-THREE

Chizu: *points at Door 1* He's telling the truth.

Door 1: CURSES

*the doors open wide, revealing a narrow hallway*

Captain: Yar, it be this way! *runs down the hall, followed by the OGers.*

Audience: *Applause*

Author: Golem

~Yami Yoshi catches up with the others.~

Yami Yoshi: What's going on?

~Before he can be answered, a giant cherry Pez strikes Chizu in the chest, sending her to the ground. The OGers scan the area to find human-sized cockroaches crouching behind corners at the end of the hall (one on the left and one on the right).~

Captain: What the--this be impossible! The very cockroaches I invisioned to guard this place!

Yami: Outta the way!

~Everyone steps aside as Yami Yoshi zooms forth, rolling inside an egg shield. Pez shot at him merely bounces off, but at the end of the hall, a cockroach extends its arm and slices it at the egg, causing Yami Yoshi to drop his egg shield and slide under the arm. Fusion starts throwing tiny energy darts at the two cockroaches, which they deflect with metal scythes built into their arms.

GORE dashes forth and wrestles with the one on the left. By now Yami Yoshi has recovered and is dodging swipes from the one on the right. The others (minus Chizu) come forth to gang up on the cockroaches, but the cockroaches see this and dodge their way to the back of the room and through a circular door.~

Captain: They're on me sub!

~The OGers run onto the sub and find that it's brimming over with cockroaches. The cockroaches open their mouths to fire Pez, and the OGers duck out.~

Fusion: Holy @#$%, what do we do?

Chizu: Wait... Captain, you said you had been thinking about giant pez-dispensing cockroaches for the place, right?

Captain: Yes...

Chizu: It must be due to the recent collision with S-Space!

Fusion: ...What?

Chizu: Which means they're from the Dark Dimension...

Fusion: Easy! I'll just Holy 'em all!

~Fusion dashes in.~

Yami Yoshi: How the heck does that work, Chizu?

Chizu: According to Syphnity, if you thought about something, it became a part of S-Space, which had been turned by Dark Cloak into a dimension of darkness. Now that S-Space is in R-Space, the cockroaches from the captain's imagination are real.

Yami Yoshi: Well then, we can just think up a giant can of bug spray to kill them all, can't we?

Chizu: It doesn't work that way... it's only real if you thought of it BEFORE the R- and S-Space merge. And I'm not sure ALL of the S-Space imaginings will become real, either.

~The Cloaked Figure backs up against the wall with the OGers.~

Cloaked Figure: Going to abandon me, were you? No matter, you should know that in the next post you're going to need 50 cents...

~MARIO-while, Introbulus, Saru, and Cerulea are hiding in bushes outside of Eerie's makeshift SHACK OF DOOM in Indiana, USA, when Author 1 runs out, bruised and beaten. He's also clutching a brand new cheesecake in a clear plastic container. Introbulus pulls Author 1 into the bushes by his belt buckle.~

Introbulus: ~whisper~ One false move or scream and you're as good as fried and Ultimate Prodded...

Author 1: ~NOT whisper~ Get me outta here you two!! Eerie's gone nuts!!

Saru: Geez kid... you had to blow our cover...!

Author: Fred

(Fusion blasts the cockaroaches, whom are unaffected in the slightest)

Fusion: Damn, you really can't kill these things.

Swordmaster: Well then, we'll do this the old fashioned way!

Captain: Arr, T'id not be a good idea, lad, as I imagined 'em to be like hydras: You cut something off, and it be coming right back. Naw, ye got to beat them the only way I could.

Yami Yoshi: How's that? And this better be strange and video-game related.

Captain: It'd be at a game of EXTREME Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine. The critters can't stand losing at it.

GORE: But nobody brought a Sega genesis, or a game gear! We're FINNISHED.

Captain: Aye, but did ye bring fifty cents.

Fusion: I have every power I can mak-

YY: Not now, Fusion, we're not going to let you be useful.

Kantii: I have a quarter.

YY: Nobody else has a quarter, we just beat people up and take their food.

Chizu: I tied up and abducted rap "musician" Fifty Cent, and have carried his toenails wherever I've gone for the last two OGs.

Kantii: You are impressing me more and more, Chizu.

SM: Hands off! That's my pure and innocent girlfriend who has mutual respect and love for me as I do for her. Isn't that right, hellcat?

GORE: Let's keep this down before Author Eight makes reference to Censor Man.

Captain: I say good enough.

Chizu: I can explain the exact details in how I seperated his gold toenails from-

Captain: Damnit, wench, I said good enough. Now, there's a small slot...

GORE: Oh hell no, not there.

Captain: ... IN the creature's ear... Where you must insert the fifty cents.

Chizu: I love putting things into slots.

GORE: Damn it, stop changing your personality.

Kantii: Yeah, she really hasn't been the same since the worlds collided... or Lupus beat us up... Alright, who's been having the weird fantasies?

YY: Um.

Kantii: I wish.

GORE: No.

Fusion: Who is she, again?

SM: What? She's the purest, softest person I know. Shut up.

(Off camera, in a trailer)

Vlad: They're on to me...

(back with our... heroes)

GORE: (sings) Put the pieces into the slots, make the right selection, but be quick you're racing the clock! POP goes- (/singing)

YY: Sto-(Hit by Pez)

Kantii: Yeah, GORE, possibly be quiet.

GORE: Fine, fine. Jerks. Maybe I'll have to betray you after all... Muahah... Muahahh...

SM: What was that?

Chizu: You certainly have selective hearing. We all heard it, but I think we'll ignore it for the obvious reasons.

GORE: Maybe I SHOULD stop talking.

(GORE easily deflects pez, and flips the cockroaches over. Kantii resists the urge to kick their flailing behinds and pick up a coin from the pipes above. The captain cries due to animal cruelty)

Chizu: Okay, so can you actually play this game?

Captain: No. I knew I should have made it Bust-A-Move, or Sonic 2's racing minigame!

Fusion: I have every power in the universe, so why don't I-

YY: I already told you to be quiet. Can anyone play this game?

(everyone shakes their head)

GORE: Okay, so now that it's loaded, what do we do?

Fusion: We'll just press pause and walk away.

(Our heroes do, and the screens on the cockaroches's bellies short circuit and explode a while later, when the water comes flooding in.)

YY: Hey, this is like that time in MOG4 where we-

GORE: That's not important. What's important is that none of us can drive this thing, especially not the captain.

Captain: Arr, I knew I should have gone for a boating licence. When will I use an air brake? I want to blubber in me mama's arms again, yar.

Figure: Yon next post will have ties to the mafia. Yon post after yon post after yon next post will Be a parody of Scooby-Doo and Dragon Ball Z, at the same time.

SM: What about yon two posts from now?

Figure: I HAVE SPOKEN. For this post.

YY: What's that coming up? Is it:
A)Catnip
B)JAYRER_OP
C)Jesus
or D) Communist regimes?
YOU DECIDE

GORE: Stop that! It's obviously a space station.

Chizu: Underwater?

Kantii: Well, the water's in space.

Chizu: I think it's a submarine base.

Fusion: Well, aren't you special?

Captain: That she be, more than ye.

YY: It appears that we're nearing... AUSTRAILIA!

GORE: Damnit, Yami, I thought that was happening in MOG10!

YY: Yeah, my mistake. It appears that we're nearing... Midgar!

SM: No, we're not doing that either.

YY: I AM THE LEADER, WHEN I SAY WE'RE SOMEWHERE, WE'RE THERE!

Chizu: Are we There Yet, Ice Cube? (HILARIOUS MOVIE REFERENCE +1)

YY: You don't even have an author. Quiet, you. (C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER)

Author: Tyler

Chizu: So, where are we, really?

GORE: It appears that we've arrived at the shores of Sicily.

SM: Is that even possibl-

GORE: I don't care. We're in Sicily.

YY: MMMM...Pasta.

GORE: Forget about your cravings, we need to find a way to get to the Crap Villain.

Mafiosa Man: That'll have to wait. You wise-guys are on our personal property. And it just so happens that a mysterious Crap person gave us pictures of you. He said to "take care" of you if you ever come around here. Looks like we win.

YY: Where? I don't see.

Mafiosa Man: Here. Diagonally. NOW GET OUT OF THE SUB.

Author: Golem

~Everyone gets out of the sub. The Mafiosa Man throws a punch at Yami Yoshi, and Yami Yoshi jumps into Fusion's arms.~

Fusion: ~trembling in fear~ Like, wow Yami! This guy means business!

Yami: Yeah!

SwordMaster (whispering to Yami Yoshi and Fusion): Just distract him while we set up a trap!

Fusion: No way!

Yami: Nuh-uh!

Chizu (whispering to Yami Yoshi and Fusion): Will you do it for a Yami Snack?

~Yami Yoshi and Fusion nod their heads as they smack their lips. Chizu reaches into her pocket and pulls out two bite-size morsels of cheesecakes, then throws them into the open mouths of Yami Yoshi and Fusion.~

Mafiosa Man: Alright! That's enough! Time to show you my true power!

~Mafiosa Man takes off his traditional mafia sports coat in a cinematic fashion and holds it by his right hand. While that happens, everyone but Yami Yoshi and Fusion runs away.~

Fusion: Let's go at him one at a time to give the others more time!
...With you going first!

Yami Yoshi: Fine!

~Yami Yoshi hurls a Dark Omelette at the Mafiosa Man. However, Mafiosa Man just waves his sports coat at the eggs, and they are all deflected. Yami Yoshi and Fusion dance in a cartoonish fashion in an attempt not to get hit by the rain of eggs.~

Mafiosa Man: As you can see, I am unstoppable! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Yami Yoshi: Grrr...

Fusion: Yami Yoshi, let me cast Temper!

Yami Yoshi: Right!

~Fusion casts Temper and Yami Yoshi throws another Dark Omelette, which is also deflected.~

Yami Yoshi: Man! This guy is good!

~Mafiosa Man dashes at Yami Yoshi and whips his suit jacket at Yami. Yami Yoshi jumps back, but the sleeve extends forth through the swing and slaps him to the ground. This sequence happens three more times.~

Fusion: Time for Temper 2!

Yami Yoshi: Dangit, start with Temper 2 next time!!

~Fusion casts Temper 2 on Yami Yoshi. Yami Yoshi throws a Dark Omelette at Mafiosa Man while running towards him, and when Mafiosa Man is deflecting the Dark Omelette, Yami Yoshi throws a Dark Egg through the barage straight at Mafiosa Man's unprotected torso. Mafiosa Man falls onto his back, but he instantly hits the ground with his coat, and he springs into a standing up position. Yami Yoshi, who has still been running, is grabbed by the Mafiosa Man and thrown into the air. While in the air, Yami Yoshi is again hit by the coat's sleeve, and comes crashing down to the ground yards away from Mafiosa Man.~

Yami Yoshi: Urgh...

Fusion: Alright! Time for Temper 3!

Yami Yoshi: @#$% START WITH THAT NEXT TIME.

~Fusion casts Temper 3 on Yami Yoshi. As Mafiosa Man closes in for the kill, Yami Yoshi pulls himself to his feet. Yami Yoshi hurls another Dark Omelette at Mafiosa Man, who tries to deflect with his sports coat. Instead, the sports coat bursts into flame, and Mafiosa Man is thrown back by the explosion. He lands in a poorly disguised pit.~

GORE-ILLA: Alright you guys! Time to unmask our villain!

~SwordMaster runs over and, as Mafiosa Man stands up in the pit, SwordMaster pulls at his hair. A mask comes off of the head, revealing...~

Fusion: Crap Villain?!

Crap Villain: And I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for you stupid kids and your yoshi!

SwordMaster: Actually, we're not kids any longer, since Lupus' 15 year owning of the world kinda made us grow 15 yea--

Crap Villain: But Eerie will still get away with his master plan! AHAHAHA! There's no way you can reach Indiana in time to stop him!

Fusion: Wait, how did you know he had a mask on?

Figure (off screen): You blew up the suit jacket?

~Everyone turns around to see the Figure.~

Figure: A means to deflect eggs would have had much use in the next post.

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Suddenly a lightning storm begins as time and space itself distorts, and Sicily is annihilated.

Yami Yoshi, Fusion, GORE, Chizu, Kantii and SwordMaster are swept into the air. Fortune Teller floats in front of them.*

Yami Yoshi: What's going on??!!

Figure: You've disrupted the time-space continuum!

Fusion: We did what you said...

Figure: No! Yon post after yon post after yon next post will Be a parody of Scooby-Doo and Dragon Ball Z, at the same time! That would make it this post, you fool!

Author 9: (slapped with cabbages until he cries) I'M SORRY

Figure: It was supposed to be about A)Catnip
B)JAYRER_OP
C)Jesus
or D) Communist regimes?
YOU DECIDE

GORE: Alright, we're sorry! What now?

Figure: You are forgiven.

...After this! (pegs them all with eggs and then flings them to Indiana.) The time-space continuum is safe again. Maybe I should have warned them that the next post would involve a mutated animal crimefighting team... WITH ATTITUDE.

*The OGers all land on the SHACK OF DOOM.*

Eerie: Oh, what the hell man? What the hell?

*Crap Villain dashes off with the cheesecakes Eerie hadn't yet destroyed.*

Fusion: Alright, let's get rid of this OG's only serious villain quickly.

Introbulus: Yo.

Saru: Why am I here?

Cerulea: Wow I'm finally back in this OG.

*Author 3 is beaten with sticks for a lousy post.*

Author: Golem

~While the OGers are still on the roof of the shack, two ghost guys come floating into the shack, one with a scythe in its mouth. They both carry one anthromorphic animal each; one with an anthromorphic llama (about three feet tall) and the other with an anthromorphic elephant (about six feet tall). Both anthromorphs are in police uniforms. The two ghost guys enter, and the OGers hop down.~

Yami Yoshi: Alright, time to kick some Eerie--

GORE: Shouldn't we go after Crap Villain?!

Yami Yoshi: Didn't you see? He's PROTECTING the cheesecakes from Eerie!

~Yami Yoshi flings open the door, and inside the two ghost guys are still holding the anthromorphs. Yami tries to run in, but GORE holds him back. The OGers hide beside the doorway as they listen in to Eerie's conversation.~

Eerie: Hand over the gem!!

Anthromorph Elephant: No can do, scum!

~The anthromorph llama swiftly swings its feet up and kicks the ghost guy away. Before the llama lands, though, Eerie grabs it.~

Eerie: Bad move...

~Then a Dark Egg pins Eerie, making him let go of the llama's head.~

GORE: Woah, good shot!!

Introbulus: What gem?!

Eerie: The Sophnito, which holds the power to give life! When Earth came back, Kargon wasn't given a soul, so that made him incredibly susceptible to Dark Cloak's possession. However...

~Eerie disappears into the ground and comes up nanoseconds later under Yami Yoshi, hitting him upwards and hard.~

Eerie: However, Cerulea found Kargon in time and took the Sophnito from him and entrusted it to these two police officers that, while they weren't exactly inconspicuous, were more inconspicuous than herself.

Yami: Thanks for the recap!

~GORE punches at Eerie, who dodges~

Eerie: That recap actually gave my Crap Villain enough time to dispose of the last cheesecakes.

~Eeries sinks into the ground again and resurfaces under the elephant (who has run outside), flies through his shirt, and comes out with the Sophnito gem, then positions himself high up in the sky.~

Eerie: And now you don't even have your two eternal backups, The Holy Plot Device ~Reverb~ and the Sophnito!

~Introbulus leans towards Yami Yoshi (while they both keep their eyes glued on Eerie) and whispers quickly.~

Introbulus: There's still the TASTS. Lupus has the TASTS. If we bring Syphnity to TASTS, Syphnity to TASTS, TASTS can reverse time, and we can fix this. JUST DON'T LOSE HOPE. We can stop the--

~Eerie shoots a laser at Introbulus. Introbulus blocks with his Iron Gauntlet, and it shatters.~

Eerie: Well, I was aiming for killing you... but that's pretty good in and of itself.

~Elsewhere, in Sicily, a ghost guy with a scythe appears right behind the cloaked figure and holds the sharpened end of the scythe up to where the cloaked figure's neck should be.~

Grim Reaper: What happens in the next post?!

Cloaked figure: I refuse to help Eerie...

Grim Reaper: You can't help the OGers if you're dead.

~Long pause. Grim Reaper quickly moves his scythe further, and the cloaked figure yells.~

Figure: ALRIGHT! A decoy Sophnito is present... one of the animal men has Sophnitu, the gem of love, and the other has Sophnito.

Author: Fred

(Suddenly (Susan), the Llama begins to fondle himself. The elephant kinda of stands around, and it doesn't take take a rocket scientist to figure out who's got a decoy, since the true Sophnito would give free will through it's healing anyways)

Eerie: Oh, for the love of. Llama?

Llama: I love you, man.

Eerie: I'm not really a man or a w- oh, bloody, throw that gem at the dinosaur if you love me.

Llama: I love them too.

Eerie: Well, love hurts, they say. Time for a chaotic happening!

(Eerie flings the Llama into the OGers, and fires a laser at the gem, turning it into a fine powder that covers the OGers, as Eerie kidney-shots the Elephant and takes the gem)

YY: Oh, bloody hell.

Fusion: Should I show you what "Every power in the universe" is worth "under the hood"?

YY: I should repeat myself.

GORE: Thankfully, my non-biotic systems which control most love-driven parts of my body cannot understand such things! IT'S UP TO ME TO SAVE THE DAY

(Gore tries to run out the door, but Introbulus and Saru, who are moving closer to him, box him in)

GORE: Or, we're all very screwed! Please, not literally.

(MOS EISLEY-while, Crap Villain stands waiting for Eerie)

Eerie: You have done well, my young apprentince. You will become a powerful-

Crap Villain: So, I'm a good Villain, now? Say it, and my curse (not a real curse) will be over!

Eerie: We are NOT villains! We are trying to make the world perfect! The OGers, S-Spacers, they're all impurities! You are redeeming your horrid self by doing this!

Crap Villain: So... this isn't... Villainy?

Eerie: No, weren't you listening to what I just said? You're a waste of time. Before your pointless death, you will have the satisfaction of doing something right for the universe!

Crap Villain: No... I just wanted to be BAD TO THE BONE!

Eerie: Well, you're the Crap Villain for a reason, I suppose...

Crap Villain: THEN IT SHALL BE. You, doer of good, will be my first true victim on my rise to fame, fortune, evil, and not living in my parents' basment! (Pulls out a whisk)

Eerie: No... how did you know my weakness? No... no... NO!!!

(Eerie's insubstantial body is obliterated by the whisk, leaving nothing behind, whatsoever. )

Crap Villain: Mabye you shouldn't have given yourself the power to resist only the things you had programmed into Q space's understanding, and instead remained vunerable to bullets. Jeez, I doubt he ever went to the bathroom, the toilets ould have killed him. And maybe he shouldn't have said it out loud like I am explicably right now. To myself. Stop it.

(MOUSSE-while, in the LOVE SHACK)

GORE: STOP! Let me out of this!

(The OGers continue to fondle each other while slow dancing)

YY: When I look into your eyes, Kantii, I feel something electric!

Kantii: I don't. I mean when I look into either of our eyes. I see pupils and feel kind of mechanic and empty.

GORE: Kantii! Did you resist as well?

Kantii: No, sugarplum! I in fact am simply being honest! It is honorable!

GORE: Dayumn. GO GO GORE WATER HOSE wait how did I get back onto this side of the world

(GORE sprays the Dust of the Gem from everyone, and punches both Saru and Introbulus in the noses)

GORE: We've got Eerie and a Crap Villain to stop!

Nasally Eerie's Voice: Wrong, you've only to deal with me!

YY: Yeah, we kind of know it's you, Crap Villain.

Crap Villain: Damn, intimidation was never my strength to play upon. Well, then, shall we dance?

Kantii: Of all sorts of offense to your pathetic self, if our life was some sort of RPG game, we'd be of maxing levels and then some, Kraw!

SwordMaster: Yeah. But, uh, come in here anyways so we can beat you up.

Chizu: We mean forgive and forget.

Crap Villain: I'm all around you.

GORE: No, you're really not. I can see you through the boarded-up doors.

Crap Villain: Or is that a hologram? Whooooo!111

Fusion: I am seriously creeped out, guys, where is he?

YY: I don't have radar powers or sensing or whatever to tell he's to our left right now.

Saru: Look, if he ever comes in here, I'll step THROUGH one of the walls, and the roof will land on him.

Crap Villain: Except I have a hostage! Yeah!

Chizu: This is embarassing.

Crap Villain: Don't come out or I... SHOOT AUTHOR ONE!

YY: What?

Crap Villain: Yes, I have a surveillance system set up in there. Come out of that house or dismantle it, and the lights go out in this guy's head. Hey, let go of the gun! What the, more authors? Noooo! Don't get cocky, you bas--ouch... I HAVE THEM BY THE ROPES- oof... guh...

GORE: If we walk out there, the people that made us die? Or, from the sounds of it, live?

Kantii: I have no author character. I think.

Chizu: Then come, Kantii!

Cerulea: I haven't said anything in a long while. Must mean I'm a boring character.

Author 9: Hey, don't say that!

Author 3: We're here to rescue you!

GORE: Wow, you sure are ugly.

Author 3: Quiet, you stinking ape.

Author 1: Quick, a bloody and bruised Crap Villain is getting away, though he's limping heavily!

(MILL-while, in Austrailia)

Author 2: Boring.

Lupus: sigh

(Back with us)

Crap Villain: Quick, deal with them, my minion!

Shade: Yes, master. Hi, I've got new upgrades and etc. and-

(The OGers, ignoring Shade completely, trample over him and confront Crap Villain as a huge group)

Crap Villain: Little do you know, I stole Eerie's powers!

YY: Shit, he's right. Time to choose battle order.

(Suddenly, the heavy backpack that was not spoken about that GORE(not OGRE like I almost spelled) was carrying pops open, and ??? comes out)

???: Put me in!

GORE: We brought him along, and not, say, Legion? It's like taking Umaro instead of Sabin!

YY: Oh, shutup, GORE. We'll put him in slot 16 anyways.

???: But... slot sixteen isn't used in the fight.

Introbulus: What a crying shame.

GORE: What the, why am I in the back row?

YY: What, you can shoot. The eye beam. Which you haven't used for like 8 OGs. You've got a metal arm, don't you have a gun or something?

Kantii: Quick, I need that materia, where's the All materia!

Saru: Left mine in my other pants pocket.

Fusion: Am I first?

YY: Yes, you're first. :</

Fusion: Am I at the top?

YY: No, you're at the freaking bottom. I'm considering switching you with ??? just because I want to see him get horribly maimed.

Introbulus: I... lost the gauntlet. Wow, I'm officialy useless. I mean I can hit stuff OKAY, but... Wait, what ever happened to Jim? Or Robobulus, my rival?

YY: Shh, those authors will hear us and we'll be up to our ears in recycled villains. Now, begin!

(The OGers strike a pose and quickly realise that Crap Villain has flown away, leaving behind a note)

Kantii: A note!

SwordMaster: No, really.

Chizu: Just in case YOU AT HOME can't read, it says that "he's gone to his base of operations, since he got bored and he left the tea on and invited company over and really thought it'd be over sooner".

Saru: This is the worst adventure ever. I really want to leave.

(MILK-while, with the Cloaked Figure)

Cloaked Figure: Aye, just follow your nose, you KNOW IT TO BE TRUE!

Grim Reaper: What?

Cloaked Figure: I see... Annoying Author Commentary within the next episode.

Grim Rapper: Not bad, not bad. Hey, that's not my name!

Grim Reaper: Gasp, my Shy-guy senses are tingling! My master's dead! He's all dead!

Cloaked Figure: I'm so sorry. Well, actually, no I'm not.

Grim Reaper: I only followed him because of when I rear-ended him while I was still alive and the bill came out to servitude until his undoing.

Cloaked Figure: I can't think of any way to end this. Oh, very well.

(Lupus, Author 2, Fred, Lithium, and Koopa play Xtreme Monopoly without any clothes)

Author: Golem

~MYOTISMON-while, with the OGers...~

GORE: How do we get to his fortress?

~Chizu flips the note over to reveal its other side.~

Chizu: Oh that was nice of him, he left a map. That Crap Villain, always thinking ahead. Let's see, we take Havisham Road down to Pip Boulevard...

Author 9: So at this point in this post, I was wondering how the OGers would get there without taking forever. And that's when I got the thought that they could steal a hummer.

Author 4: Naturally, Introbulus should drive it, since he's familiar with such vehicles through his use of the stationwagon.

Author 3: Hey, Chizu could drive it if she wanted to.

Author 1: Hah, she'd look funny driving a hummer.

Author 7: I used to be Author 2. :\

~So anyway, the OGers run in a random direction until they come across a street, at which point they spot a hummer with seating for many many people. Introbulus, carrying around the shards of his Iron Gauntlet, uses them to jar open the doors. He then hops in the driver's seat.and jams a shard in the ignition. One turn of the shard, and the OGers are off.

In about a half-hour, that hummer screeches to a halt outside of a prim and proper country club. They all hop out, and GORE jumps through the glass doors, clearing the way for everyone else.

There are about 20 people in the country club, most around 40-60 years of age, all dressed in formal attire, and all aghast by the group of warriors crashing into their club.~

Author 1: ~mouth completely full with food~ Mahn, da foo' hee ith ~gulps the food down~ awesome.

GORE-ILLA: Alright, tell us where Crap Villain is or you all get it!

Saru: Uh, GORE, look out for--

~A golfball flying through the air at ridiculous speeds crashes into GORE's metallic arm and sends him into the floor and back a few feet. The OGers run out of the club through the back exit onto a golf course, where they confront Crap Villain, and are behind a semi-circle of six whisks.~

Author 5: Hey, Crap Villain used a whisk to defeat Eerie!

Saru: What?!

Yami Yoshi: It's worth a shot...

~Yami picks up a whisk and dashes at Crap Villain. Halfway there, Yami Yoshi realizes that the whisk is actually a beaver with a frothing mouth, and shakes it off furiously, stopping in his tracks.~

Yami Yoshi: WAH! What the SHATMUCK was that?!

Crap Villain: Just one of my MANY powers! Anything you see... may or may not be what is actually there! Because, you know, I'm creating illusions and stuff.

Author 1: How will the OGers defeat Crap Villain if they can't tell real from fake? Who's going to win that Xtreme Monopoly game?! Find out the answers to these questions and more next time on Members On-Going 9: One-Page Wonder!

Author 11: And now for a special message from Cloaked Figure...

~MAAAARRRRRRGH-while, in Sicily, Grim Reaper and Cloaked Figure sit together, watching TV.~

Cloaked Figure: Hah, this episode of Everybody Loves Raymond X is just like the next post, where Introbulus realizes that his Iron Gauntlet still kinda works, and can attract metal things such as whisks.

Grim Reaper: Ohhh yeah. I see the resemblence. Creepy.

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

Yami Yoshi: So we need to find the real whisk that Crap Villain used to kill Eerie.

Fusion: Why? I mean, what's so special about this whisk? I mean, is it imbued with Eerie's former glory? Does Crap Villain have the same weaknesses as Eerie did?

Yami Yoshi: Look, let's just get the freakin whisk, kill Crap Villain, and end this stupid...

Author 1: Yet wholly awesomer than GMOG...

Yami Yoshi: ...OG (if we really try).

Chizu: But what if the next whisk we grab is really a bomb? Or what if the whisk isn't even here?

Crap Villain: You've thought long enough! ~whips out golf club and fires a hail of Mach 10 speed golf balls at them~

~The OGers defend themselves in usual fashion. One golf ball hits Introbulus's pocket and knocks his Iron Gauntlet out of his pocket. A random paper clip flies toward it and attaches.~

Introbulus: Hey. My Iron Gauntlet can still attract metal.

Author 9: This is a complete rip-off of that one episode of Everybody Loves Raymond X.

Introbulus: All right. Let's find that whisk!

~Introbulus holds his Iron Gauntlet toward the remaining five whisks. Two of them fly toward him; Yami Yoshi catches one and GORE-ILLA catches the other.~

Yami Yoshi: Yeah, but... who has the right one?

GORE-ILLA: Only one way to find out!

~GORE-ILLA runs at Crap Villain, swinging his whisk. Crap Villain knocks him back with more golf balls, piercing him like bullets. Yami Yoshi approaches from the side, holding a plate.~

Yami Yoshi: Scrambled eggs?

Crap Villain: ~stops~ What? My favorite!

Yami Yoshi: Yes. I've decided to join you and be evil.

Author 1: NO!

Crap Villain: Offer accepted! ~takes the plate and starts eating~ Waitaminute, these eggs taste kind of... ~explodes~

Author 9: Muh. His death was worse than Eerie's.

Saru: So, wait. You prepared those eggs with that whisk?

Yami Yoshi: Yeah.

Saru: So you had the Eerie whisk. But where did you get the eggs?

Yami Yoshi: Well, no. I made those eggs out of a Dark Egg, despite the obvious impossibility.

Saru: So GORE-ILLA had the Eerie whisk all along...

~All look at GORE-ILLA, who is holding the whisk with a maniacal look.~

GORE-ILLA: ~bleeding profusely and very wobbly~ WhO wAnTs To DiE fIrSt?

All: ~chuckle heartily~ Oh, GORE. He would never kill us.

Author 14 or 15: ~waits for beating from other authors~

Author: Murasame

~in the midsts of all this chaos, something else was happening. And that was the Omnipotence landing. It's very important to remember that you italicize it, because if you don't then people will think it's just a regular omnipotence~

Murasame: *gets off and looks around* What. The. Hell.

Author 1: This wasn't expected!

Murasame: This makes me angry. *snaps fingers* Krunk! Snipes!

Krunk: BOSS?

Snipes: Yessss?

Murasame: I feel like randomly messing this story up. Call in your relatives.

~in mere moments there are all kinds of kremlings and lizalfos gathered~

GORE: ThIs Is UnExPeCtEd. WhY aM i tAlKiNg lIkE tHiS?

Saru: I don't get a line because Murasame never heard of me. *cries*

Fusion: Me too.

Murasame: Okay giant horde of creatures. PARTY!

Yami: *falls to knees in agony* Noooo! I hate parties! I hate! I hate! I hate!

Introbulus: *cough* And?

Yami: Oh and um. It's Lupus's fault or something. *shrugs*

Authors: Wait! But this is the last post on the page! You can't just end it like-

THE END