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Author: Yoshiyami
OOC: All right…this is THE FINAL attempt to revitalize the VGF Member OG Series. The events that will occur in this OG will occur after the events of VGF Member OG 4 and Christmas Member OG.
The Planet Krad, The Most Powerful Villains Period HQ…
*Several hundred villains of different shapes and sizes congregate inside a stadium-style seating arena. A lone podium is positioned in the center of the room surrounded by three small tables in which Lord Chaos, Pharaoh Qwirtzok, and King Bob take seat at. A shadowy figure approaches the podium, his body shrouded in the darkness, and clears his throat…*
Shadowy Figure: So…does anyone here know why we are having this meeting?
*Silence*
Shadowy Figure: We are here to discuss the VGF Six. This clan has been triumphant in defeating Dark Jim, Shade, Evil, and most recently, Lord Chaos’ “Anti-OGers”. These defeats have formed nasty stigma on our image and have stood in our way of universe domination…
Shade: My Lord, their strength has massively increased in such a short period of time. They have become too powerful!
Shadowy Figure: Or have YOU become too weak? Our organization has been successful in terrorizing the galaxy for several thousand years. It is preposterous that these OGers have surpassed our immense power.
Dark Force: What do you want us to do then?
Shadowy Figure: …prepare the Apocalypse for take-off. We will be departing for Earth in 2 hours. Meeting adjourned.
*Several murmurs and discussions are heard amongst the villains as they depart from the room*
Villain 1: We’re going to Earth? W00t! I’m packing my sunglasses and my suntan lotion!
Villain 2: What do you think the Master is planning on doing?
Villain 1: Who cares? It’s about time we’ve left this cold ball of dust! I’m going on vacation!
*The last few villains exit the room*
Chaos: The Apocalypse?
Qwirtzok: What are we planning to do?
Shadowy Figure: It is a rare occasion when I have to step in. This is only the sixth time in the past 100000 years in which our villains have had a difficult time defeating the enemy. I am going to observe these OGers for myself. You three will stay here and guard the headquarters.
Chaos: Be careful my Lord!
Shadowy Figure: Do not worry about me. Everyone who has stood in Emperor Akujin’s way…has faced complete and utter…destruction.
Meanwhile on Earth…
*GORE-ILLA meditates on a small rock beneath a waterfall in the Idej Forest. Suddenly, his eyes jerk wide open and slips into the pond*
PL-0TT: Lost your concentration GORE?
GORE: It’s not that. Ever since I’ve discovered my Jedi powers, I’ve sensed this great evil presence somewhere in our universe…
PL-0TT: Can you describe this “evil”?
GORE: It’s more powerful than any evil we've ever faced. And just now, I’ve sensed it moving towards us…advancing through space like a dark fog that will consume and destroy everything when it reaches us…
PL-0TT: What should we do?
GORE: Send an e-mail to the other OGers. We’re going to all meet at Yami Yoshi’s house. We have no time to waste!
*GORE climbs into his Jedi Starfighter and flies toward Yoshi’s Island…*
Author: Introbulus
(Meanwhile, in an empty Universe...)
Introbulus: (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...)
Jim: Intro. wake up. We've got work to do.
Introbulus: (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...)
Jim: Intro., don't make me use the fairy again...
Introbulus: (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...)
Jim: Alright, but remember, you asked for it!
(Jim takes out a small bottle with a glowing orb inside. He releases the cork...)
Orb: HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT! WAKE UP! HEY! LISTEN! WAKE UP! WATCH OUT! LISTEN!
Introbulus: GAH! Pi^2 is NOT a function of the X-axis! Huh? Where am I? This isn't Calculus!
Jim: You're awake. The "Something Bad" alarm just went off, so you'd better get up outta that bed, 'cause we're going on another quest!
Introbulus: Again? But we just got back from that whole "dragon" thing!
Jim: Yeah, I know. But this one's pretty serious from the readout.
Introbulus: Fine, fine. I'll pack a suitcase. Where are we going this time?
Jim: Back to the OG Universe.
Introbulus: Isn't this our fifth adventure over there?
Jim: No, it's our sixth.
Introbulus: Fifth!
Jim: Sixth!
Introbulus: FIFTH!
Phil: SEVENTH AND LAST!
Jim: Phil? What are you doing here?
Introbulus: Capturing you.
(Phil tosses a small metallic orb at Jim. Like a miniature Metal Kirby, it sucks him in at high-speed, leaving nothing behind)
Introbulus: No! You feind! I'll crush you to a fine powder! I'll grind your brain into meatloaf! I'll...
Phil: What's that over there?
Introbulus: (turns) Where?
Phil: INDESTRUCTABLE BURLAP SACK!
Introbulus: Huh? AHH!!!
(Introbulus is caught in a burlap sack labled "Indestructable, do not try using scissors)
Phil: Excellent! Mission accomplished! Now to report back to Apocalypse!
Author: GORE-ILLA
*The Jedi Starfighter rockets through the sky, over the Atlantic Ocean. GORE is riding in the cockpit whiel PL is in a side socket*
PL: Sir, five ships of unknown origin have appeared on radar.
GORE: Commence evasion tactics.
*The Starfighter swerves to the side and lowers its altitude. Five pod-like ships comet from the clouds and jet after the Starfighter at incredible velocity. The Starfighter does not move and is bombarded with laserfire. GORE finally rockets upwards and loops behind the ships, blasting two of them apart with his own lasers before the other three pull away and retreat.*
GORE: They're heading for Yoshi's Island! C'mon PL, we have to find out what those guys are up to! Ugh- *clutches head* PL... check the radar...
PL: Sir... I think you should check this out...
*The Apocalypse descends from the sky slowly. Several "charging" noises are heard emitting from some giant cannons along the deadly ship.*
Author: Yami Yoshi
Yoshi’s Island, Yami Yoshi’s House…
Yami Yoshi: Hurry up and download damnit! I want my Miya Shiyo wallpaper TODAY!
Pharaoh: What the hell are you doing?!
Yami Yoshi: Ack!
*Yami Yoshi quickly clicks the “_” button on the corner of the Internet Explorer window*
Yami Yoshi: *sweatdrop* Er…you just caught me signing off…to…water the flowers!
*Yami Yoshi dashes outside and slams the front door*
Pharaoh: Wait a second…we don’t have any flowers! GET BACK HERE!
Computer Speaker: You have one new egg-mail message.
Pharaoh: Huh?
*A Yoshi Egg pops up in the Internet Explorer window. The Pharaoh clicks on the Yoshi Egg, which cracks open revealing the “egg-mail” message*
Pharaoh: JohnMean@aol.com…it’s GORE-ILLA! *reading* [I]Hey Yami Yoshi, this is GORE-ILLA. The other OGers and I will be appearing at your house shortly. We have an important topic to discuss. See you soon, GORE [I] Hey Yami Yoshi! It’s an e-mail from GORE!
*Yami Yoshi cautiously peeks his head through the door*
Yami Yoshi: GORE-ILLA? Whoa…haven’t heard from him since he discovered he was a Jedi. Pfft…what a nerd(note by editor: cool person)…what does the message say?
Pharaoh: It says that he and the other OGers will be meeting here shortly to discuss something important.
Yami Yoshi: Wonder what that could be…
Computer Speaker: Your downloading of the Miya Shiyo wallpaper is complete.
Yami Yoshi: *gulp* Better go back to…watering the flowers! ^_^;
Author: GORE-ILLA
*The Apocalypse's Big-Ass Cannons continue charging energy.*
GORE: PL! We don't have a second to spare, so follow my instructions carefully...
*The cannons fire even Bigger-Ass Lasers at the Jedi Starfighter, dissolving it in seconds. However, GORE is seen floating safely towards the island. PL is strapped to his back, hanging from a large parachute.*
GORE: And I hadn't finished paying for it, yet, too...
PL: I'm sure you'll get another one if we ever get to Coruscant.
GORE: Yeah, I guess I'll have to put my plans on hold until these guys are dealt with.
*GORE lands on the lawn outside Yami Yoshi's lawn, while PL hops off GORE and reverts to his normal shape. GORE reaches up to knock on the door, which suddenly swings open and slams into him as Yami Yoshi runs out.*
Yami Yoshi: TIME FOR SOME FLOWER-WATERING! *pulls a Miya Shiro Manga or whatever it is out of his pocket and grins greedily.*
GORE: Ahem...
Yami: *hides book as he turns around* Oh, hi GORE!
Author: Introbulus
(Meanwhile, aboard the Apocalypse...)
Introbulus: Guhh...huuuu...huh? Whuu...eh? Huh? Gah! Where am I!?!
???: Long time no see, Introbulus.
Introbulus: What? You again!?! (Tonk!)
???: Hehehe...I love that trap. Can't get out of this one, can you?
Introbulus: You fiend! Let me out of this plastic ball!
???: And have an unsanitary beast like you running around the ship? No, I think I'll keep you in there. Oh, and you can forget about breaking those ropes, they're that super-indestructable kind that you have to actually untie to get out of. Not that cheap-0 Hudini stuff. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have very important business to attend to.
(??? walks out the door with his cape flowing behind him. He slams it shut.)
Introbulus: (Sigh...)
(Tonk!)
Introbulus: Gotta find Jim...
(Tonk!)
Introbulus: Gotta warn the others...
(TONK!)
Introbulus: Gotta get...OUT!
( TONK! POP! )
Suddenly, the plastic ball that encased Introbulus pops out of it's holding stand and begins to roll down the stairs leading up to it.
(Bip! Bop! Bop! Bap! Bip! BipBipBipbipbipbipbipbipbip)
Introbulus: Okay, now to find Jim.
(Tonk!)
(Soon afterwards, down on Earth...)
Yami Yoshi: So when do you suppose the other VGFers will start showing up?
Gore: I'd say in about...now.
Yami Yoshi: Huh?
Gore-Illa points behind Yami Yoshi to an exceedinly tall figure with a psychotic misdemeanor expression and a suit of armor, along with a free-floating ball of pure evil energy wrapped in an outer shell of magical fabric.
YY: Oh, hey Jim, hey Intro!
Introbulus (?): Hey, what's up?
Jim (?): Good to see you again.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Author: Yami Yoshi
The Apocalypse…
*Introbulus (still tied up) hops up to a damaged security door which leads to the main prison sector corridor*
Introbulus: Weird…did Jim do this?
*Introbulus hops through the wreckage and bumps into a familiar black cloak…*
Jim: Introbulus! It’s you! How did you escape?
Introbulus: The prison door was already destroyed by the time I reached it. Jim: Seriously? Mine was too! What do you think happened?
Introbulus: That’s what I’d like to know.
Voice: Heh, heh, heh…looks like you two rats have managed to wriggle free from your trap.
*A silver mask hovers a few feet in front of them*
Jim: It’s Shade!
Shade: It looks like I’ve caught you just in time. Did you really think you could escape from the MPVP undetected? I would expect more from the “super-smart” warrior, Introbulus.
*A shadowy human-like body materializes from the flipside of the mask*
Shade: Emperor Akujin has ordered your immediate execution.
Introbulus: What?!
Jim: Then we’ll just defeat you first then!
Shade: Ha ha ha…do you two really think you two stand a chance against me?
Jim: We’ve defeated you once before and we’ll do it again!
Shade: Yes, but it took all six of you OGers stand up against my immense power. Even then it was a close battle. Now it’s just you two against me and your friend seems to be a little…handicapped…heh heh…
Introbulus: …
Shade: SHADE BLADE!
*A sword composed of shadow and darkness materializes in Shade’s hand*
Jim: Don’t worry Introbulus! I’ll protect you!
Shade: Fine…if that’s what you want, I’ll kill you both together!
*Shade clutches the handle of the Shade Blade and charges toward Introbulus and Jim*
Jim: Get down!
*Jim presses his cloak-ish body on top of Introbulus and bends his body backwards just as the Shade Blade swishes the air above them The sword tears through Dark Jim’s body but also severs the ropes binding Introbulus*
Introbulus: Jim!
Jim: *pant* Don’t worry…I’m all right…
*Introbulus slips the ropes off his body*
Introbulus: This should even the odds a bit.
Shade: Ha ha…do you really think so? This time I won’t miss!
*Shade charges back toward Introbulus and Jim*
Jim: Jim Beam!
Introbulus: Ultimate Prod!
*A golden beam of light emits from the hem of Jim’s hood and a psychedelic rainbow beam fires from Introbulus’ index finger. The two powerful beams vaporize the Shade Blade and blast Shade 20 feet down the corridor. Shade slowly stands back up and clutches a large hole in his chest*
Shade: *pant* So…you two CAN fight…heh heh…I’m just getting started…
*Darkness flows from Shade’s hand and fills in the hole in his chest*
Shade: This where the battle REALLY begins…let’s see if you stand up against me now…
Yoshi’s Island…
GORE: Whoa…did you feel that?
Yami Yoshi: Feel what?
GORE: My mind sensed a great power surge to the west…there seems to be a battle going on.
Yami Yoshi: Yeah! A battle! Let’s go!
Jim (?): *to self* The battle must have started. Hopefully they’ll cause a diversion and we’ll be able to sneak in and take on the big guy himself. Those bastards will pay the ultimate price for betraying me…
Author: Introbulus
Part 7: Phil Shows Up! (And Spoils the Fun)
Yami Yoshi: Come on! I've got a brand new speed boat on the other side of the island that can take us there in under five minutes!
(YY, Gore, Jim(?), and Intro.(?) make their way to the other side of the island. When they arrive, they encounter a lanky green goblin-like creature, standing in their way)
Gore: Who's this?
Yami Yoshi: Say, aren't you that "Phil" fellow from not-too-long ago? The one that was obsessed with socks?
Phil the Gnome: You fools! That was just a diversion from my grand master scheme! I'm working with the MPVP now! It's up to me to make sure you pesky OGers don't slow us down!
Introbulus (?): (wink) Stand down, Phil! Let us pass through!
Phil: No! I'm done talking to you! Face my Clorox magic!
Phil sprinkles some magic powder onto the beach sand. Almost instantly, the spots flash multiple colors. Sand-made monsters begin to form. A golem, a serpent, manticore, a dragon, and a re-dead all made of sand rise from the ground.
Phil: My desert warriors can take care of you! Nyahahahaha!
Phil tosses a pair of boxer shorts behind him, and a trans-space portal forms. He jumps in, and it quickly closes behind him.
Jim (?): I'll stop them! INFERNO!
Fire engulfs the sand creatures, but they are not harmed by the fire, and their limbs go ablaze with flaming fury.
Gore: Jim! How could you?
Jim(?): Oops! Eh...sorry.
(Meanwhile...)
Shade: All right, fools! Prepare to feel the full wrath of Shade! You may have stood a chance with those OGers, but now you're worthless!
Jim: Not quite! If you'd taken a course in energy fusions, you'd know that polar opposites bring both fighter's power to the third power of themselves when combined!
Introbulus: ...What?
Jim: (Sigh) We fuse, NOW!
Introbulus: Oh, right!
Shade: What are you talking about? What are you doing!?!
Introbulus: Power of the Infinite!
Jim: Knowledge of the All-Knowing!
Jim and Introbulus: COMBINE! EXPAND!
(FASHING NOISE!)
Jimtrobulus: We are now Jimtrobulus, omnipotence and omniscience are at our disposal!
Shade: ...Your name sucks.
Jimtrobulus: We get that a lot.
Shade: No matter, all this means is that I can take you out in one fell swoop!
Jimtrobulus: Wrong! We shall be taking you out! Omni-Buster!
(KERZAP!)
Shade dodges the powerful blast.
Shade: Ha! Did you think I would fall for such a cheap...?
Jimtrobulus: Power Punch!
(POW!)
Shade: GAH!
(Thump!)
Jimtrobulus: (Seperate)
Introbulus: Good job, Jim. Now get us out of here!
Jim: Right! (Teleports the two of them away)
Meanwhile, Shade does one of those cool "levitate to stand position" thingies.
Shade: You think you can defeat me so...easily? Where did they go! Blast! Those cowards!
(A second or two later...)
(THUMP!)
Jim: OW! What the...?
Introbulus: Hrm...it seems that this spaceship is equipped with an anti-teleportation system. I guess I'll just have to PUNCH my way out!
Jim: NO! You idiot! You'll be sucked out into space, I and I won't be able to find you for weeks!
Introbulus: Okay then, I guess our only other option is to search the ship's interior for the power generators and shut those off.
Jim: Damn...I just KNEW this was going to be more difficult than I thought...
Author: Gamechamp
Meanwhile, a shadowy figure is watching all of this on a special screen...
???: Hmm... everyone seems to be tangled up in thier own little adventure things... so, now is the time to strike the OGers and destroy them! For I am the great, almighty-
Pizza guy: Gamechamp! Stop watching that television thing on your wrist and start taking orders!
Gamechamp: OK!
The pizza guy leaves.
Gamechamp looks around, the place is closed.
Gamechamp: You know, there's no point in having a casier here if it's closed, so why am I still working? I mean, Yellow, you're in charge of preparing the toppings and stuff, and you're playing arcade games!
Yellow: Hey! It's not something you really need to do while the place is closed!
Gamechamp:... that doesn't really make sense. Anyway, with the OGers on thier little battle against these evil guys... let's get ready... ROLL CALL!!!
Green: I am green, the mechanic expert, and I do good with using the weapons I make, too!
Yellow: I am Yellow! I like to use my fists to do the talking!
Black: I am black! I can sneek on anyone from the dark,and attack with my double swords!
Blue: I am Blue! If you want me to operate a truck,tank,spaceship,anything! I can garuntee that I'll use that and make use of the firepower,as long as it has firepower!
Gamechamp: And I am Red! The leader of the Robot team! Just call me Gamechamp!
All:And we are the robot team!!!
Gamechamp: Now, let's get going to defeat the OGers!
Blue: Yeah!
They leave, and seeing that Introbulus and Jim would probably be the weakest on account of being just 2 people, put on jetpacks and fly off into the sky towards the Apocalypse...
Author: Legion
"I'm singing in the rain..."
"Shut up."
"Just singing in the rain!"
"Shut."
"What a glorious feeling..."
"I'm warning you."
"I'm happy again..."
"Right that's it."
"I laughing at clou[BLAM!]
"Have you shut up yet?"
"...Ow."
"Good."
The lights came up on a huge room, carved out of pure obsidian and laced with strands of glittering emerlads and sapphires. At one end of the room lay a stupidly large obsidian throne, occupied by a very pissed off Black Shyguy, breathing hard as smoke rose from the barrels of the shotgun he held, its tail waving to keep him suspended above the floor.
On the other side of the room lay a shattered heap of bones and blood, which slowly dragged itself upright to reveal itself as a Grey Shyguy, a small Sergeant's cap perched upon its head. Behind the Sergeant lay the remains of a small umbrella and a garden hose.
"What have I told you about singing those songs?" chided the Black Shyguy angrily, reloading the shotgun for effect. The Sergeant struggled upright an made to wipe the blood away from a ragged tear in the side of its torso.
"I remember now Sir. You said 'Any heathen that singeth the cursed songs I have written on this parchment, apart from the original artists, shall meet a horrible fate.'"
"And what did you meet Sergeant?"
"A horrible fate Sir?"
"That's right," said Legion, tucking the shotgun behind his throne once more. "Anyway, another OG has started. Ready the armies, we're going to invade Turkmenistan."
"Why Sir?"
"Because it's small, undefended, no-one knows where it is, and its position in the international community is only slightly higher than that of an athsmatic ant carrying some heavy shopping."
"Now that's not very nice Sir."
"I know. Now, gather the armies and wait for my signal."
As the Sergeant left, the lights dimmed, plunging the room into darkness once more.
"Oh, and Sergeant?"
"Yes Sir?"
"Plug the lights back in on your way out, will you?"
Author: Yoshiyami
Yoshi’s Island…
Yami Yoshi: Damnit, where’d that green bastard go?
*A loud hissing noise is heard as GORE slices the serpent clean in half with his lightsaber and its body disintegrates back into sand. GORE uses his Force powers to deflect the dragon’s fireballs which rip through its sandy body. The Pharaoh battles the manticore as it whips its scorpion toward him*
Pharaoh: Mummification Egg!
*Several mummy bandages materialize out of thin air and magically wrap themselves around the manticore’s tail and disable it. Then the Pharaoh hurls a pair of Dark Eggs at the manticore bursting its body into a storm of sand*
Yami Yoshi: I think everyone’s got everything under control.
GORE: Yami Yoshi! Behind you!
Yami Yoshi: Huh?
*Yami Yoshi turns around and sees the sand Re-Dead limping slowly toward him. The Re-Dead lets out a shrill scream and paralyzes Yami Yoshi’s body. The Re-Dead limps closer and closer…*
Pharaoh: Idiot! Get out of the way!
Yami Yoshi: …damn…can’t…move…
*The Re-Dead opens its mouth and reaches its hands toward Yami Yoshi. A putrid rotten smell flows through Yami Yoshi’s nostrils*
Pharaoh: Dark Egg!
*The Pharaoh hurls a Dark Egg towards them. The Dark Egg explosion blasts both the Re-Dead and Yami Yoshi into the air*
GORE: Yami Yoshi!
Pharaoh: Don’t worry, I’ve Dark Egged him several times…he’ll be fine.
*Yami Yoshi lands with a “poof” behind a sand dune and immediately scrambles back up.
Yami Yoshi: Hey! I can move again!
GORE: Yami Yoshi! To your right!
*The decapitated Re-Dead limps toward Yami Yoshi and stretches its arms blindly outward*
Yami Yoshi: Dark Egg!
*Yami Yoshi hurls a Dark Egg at the Re-Dead. The Re-Dead’s body disintegrates back into sand as the explosion consumes its body*
Pharaoh: You’re welcome…idiot…
Yami Yoshi: *sarcastically* Yeah…hitting me with a Dark Egg…riiiight…
Pharaoh: What would YOU have done?
Yami Yoshi: Mashed the A button multiple times! Duh!
Pharaoh: …
GORE: …
Introbulus (?): …
Jim (?): …
Yami Yoshi: All right, the B button!
Pharaoh: …
GORE: …
Introbulus (?): …
Jim (?): …
Yami Yoshi: What is it, the Start button?
Pharaoh: …
GORE: …
Introbulus (?): …
Jim (?): …
Sand Golem: …
Yami Yoshi: Wait, what the hell is that?
Sand Golem: *gasp* My presence has been detected due to script reading and evident plot holes!
*Several billion grains of sand fly through the air and form a massive figure composed of sand*
GORE: Who or what are you? Identify yourself!
Sand Golem: I am the Sand Golem, created by Phil the Gnome All Rights Reserved ©. I am the ultimate sand golem composed entirely of sand! My powerful sand attacks will have you five buried deep in the sand! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Yami Yoshi: Bo-ring.
Pharaoh: Well duh. Don’t think you’d be called “Sand Golem” without being a…sand golem. And you used the word “sand” five times in the above paragraph.
Yami Yoshi: Six, if you count the word “Sand” behind the colon.
Sand Golem: Grr…ENOUGH! It’s time I put you OGers to the test! Let’s see if you’re really as powerful as the MPVP says you are!
DOOM!
To Be Continued…
Author: GORE-ILLA
Sand Golem: First you must answer my Super-Mystery Riddle! What is gold, like golden flakes, located both in desert and ocean?
Yami Yoshi, Pharoah, and GORE: (simultaneously) Sand?
Sand Golem: IMPOSSIBLE!! Now that your minds are weakened, watch in horror as you are sucked into my DEADLY QUICKSAND!!!
*Yami and Pharoah swallow blue shells immediately, flying into the air with GORE hanging from their legs while the quicksand harmlessly does nothing.*
Sand Golem: !!! You are truly mighty warriors!! For you I show my ultimate attack, where I harden the sand in my fist to very hardness and very cooly punch at you!!
*The yoshis easily fly above Sand Golem's fist as GORE tosses hid ignited lightsaber into Sand Golem's forehead.*
Sand Golem: Ack... Impossible.... You truly are a worthy opponant... (explodes)
*Yami and Pharoh set GORE down.*
Pharoah: Damn GORE, I don't think I've had so much exercise in several thousand years!
Yami Yoshi: And I think I lost some weight.
GORE: Sure, I'll be right back. I need to get my lightsaber. (runs off to the Sand Golem's smoking remains)
Pharoah: Hey, where'd Intribulus and Jim go?
Yami: (rubs chin) I wonder...
Pharoah: What, you think they're up to something?
Yami: Nah, I was thinking about what happened to the Taco Bell commercials with the little dog. I haven't seen it in a long time...
GORE: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!11
Pahroah and Yami: (simultaneously) The hell?
Author: Introbulus
Introbulus(?): Hey guys! The boat is all ready!
Yami Yoshi: Er...boat?
Jim (?): Yeah, did you guys forget why we came here in the first place?
Gore: Uh...
Yami: Of...course...not...
Pharoah: Hey! Where were you when we were fighting the sand monsters!?! We could've gotten killed, you know?
Introbulus (?): Nonsense! Those guys were peices of cake! Besides, someone had to ready the boat, right?
Pharoah: ...whatever. Let's just go.
(Everyone piles into the boat, with Yami Yoshi at the wheel)
Yami Yoshi: Everyone ready?
Everyone else: Hold on just one...
Yami: GO!
(Instantly, the boat takes off at breakneck speeds, causing all passangers to grab onto the side for dear life while being dragged along in the water.)
Gore: STOP THE BOAT!
Pharoah: LET US IN!
Introbulus (?): For the love of all that is good and decent, STOP!
(Suddenly, out of sight from land, the boat stops moving)
Pahroah Yoshi: (Whew!) Thanks for stopping, Yami!
Yami Yoshi: I didn't stop the boat!
Gore: Then what...?
Yami: We seem to have run into some engine trouble.
Pharoah: What kind of trouble?
Yami: (Points to the gas meter, which reads "Empty")
Pharoah: ...Great.
Yami: Could've sworn I filled that up this morning...
Gore: Well, at least things could be worse, right?
(Suddenly the boat springs a number of leaks in the hull)
Pharoah: ...You just HAD to say that, didn't you Gore?
Gore: But I...
Yami: Everyone grab a bucket and bail!
Pharoah: There are no buckets!
Yami: What!?! Who took the buckets!?!
(Meanwhile...)
Jim: Okay Intro, there's guards all around us, omnipotent supervillians, and probably a high-tech security system. So we're going to have to take these out as stealthily as...
(SMASH!)
(BANG!)
(CLATTER!)
(CRASH!)
(TEAR!)
(SHRED!)
(BASH!)
(BOOM!)
Introbulus: ...Did you say something, Jim?
Jim: ...Why do I even bother? You never learn. Well, that's one at least. Four to go...
Author: Yami Yoshi
*The speedboat gradually sinks into the ocean as water gushes in through the major leak in the center of the boat*
GORE: We’re going to sink if we don’t do something fast!
Pharaoh: How about we shove Yami Yoshi into one of the holes?
Yami Yoshi: How about I shove a Dark Egg in YOUR hole?!
GORE: Shut up! We don’t have any time for this…….wait a second…that’s it! Yami Yoshi! Come here for a second…
Yami Yoshi: Yeah?
*GORE grabs Yami Yoshi and shoves his tail into the hole. The water level decreases and the boat stops sinking*
Yami Yoshi: What the hell are you doing?!
GORE: Yami Yoshi, whatever you do, don’t move. We shouldn’t have any leakage trouble for the remainder of the trip.
Pharaoh: Ha ha ha!
Yami Yoshi: …
GORE: Now what are we going to do about the engine? Maybe Introbulus or Jim can help us out with that…
Yami Yoshi: Hey they’re gone! Those bastards abandoned us!
GORE: Once again, they’ve left us in a time of need…something seems suspicious…
*Suddenly, a “poof” of smoke is heard above the boat followed by a high-pitched cackling*
Phil: Nyeh heh heh heh heh heh! So…you three managed to survive the first round eh?
Pharaoh: It’s you! Dark Egg!
*The Pharaoh hurls a Dark Egg at Phil who merely sidesteps midair and avoids the
Phil: Nyeh heh heh heh heh! You bothersome germs must be exterminated! Perhaps some vitamin genocide will do the trick!
*Phil materializes a nuclear warhead between his hands*
GORE: Wha-what the hell is that?!?
Phil: Nyeh heh heh…hasta la pasta OGers! Gnome Nuke!
To Be Continued…
Author: Introbulus
Phil: BWAHAHAHA!!!! Say goodbye, OG squad! Your adventure ends here! Taste my sweet nuclear doom!
Yami Yoshi: Well...(gulp) this looks like the end...
Introbulus (?): Don't worry, some convoluted plot device will save us...
Phil: GNOME GNUKE!
(BLAMMO!)
Yami Yoshi: So much for that theoryyyyyyyyyyyy!
(Meanwhile...)
(Clickity clickity clack!)
Jim: Okay, this one's disabled. Now for the other three...
Introbulus: Hey Jim, are we going to go through every one of these generators in a cutscene?
Jim: Yeah, just until we've stalled for enough time...
(Back on Earth...)
Yami Yoshi: Ugh...my head...where am I?
(Yami Yoshi looks around to see a seabed of fish, octopus, and pink dancing starfish)
Yami Yoshi: ...Well this is new...