Member OG 8 Page 5

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Author: Luigi of the Pipes

Vorpal: Waitaminute. Where's Masamune's body?

Luigi: Apparently he's too cool to have his soul completely taken away. Lupus only got a part of it.

Vorpal: This was a fun interlude.

~The OGers and Ihsoy tensely stare at each other.~

Ihsoy: Tick... tock... tick... tock...

SSG: Can we just shoot her?

Sapphire: NO.

Kantii: Hey, I don't want to have her trapped in me forever, but getting out of here with one body is better than none.

Sapphire: NO.

Luigi: Okay... just get me and Vorpal into our bodies, then. We can handle this (if we really try).

Ihsoy: Uh uh. Come closer to these bodies, and the children get it. ~pokes one with an umbrella~ You wouldn't want that, would you? ~pokes another~ Get the point?

Luigi: Can I just move closer to Yoshiman's? He owes me five dollars, and I want to get it now before he comes back.

Ihsoy: NO.

Legion: How about that one? ~points to Flutter~ I suspect he owes everyone five dollars.

Luigi: That goes without question, but...

Ihsoy: NO.

Luigi: Well, what about...

~As Legion/Luigi distracts Ihsoy with mindless banter, Kuria sneaks over to Vorpal's body.~

Kuria: Now how do I dislodge you, or whatever?

Vorpal: You have to kiss me. Passionately, if you really try.

Kuria: Oh fine...

~Kiss.~

Kuria: Nothing happened.

Vorpal's body: For you, maybe. ~pats his torso~ Yes!

~Ihsoy turns on him suddenly.~

Ihsoy: Dammit! I hate it when this happens.

~As Ihsoy is distracted by Vorpal, Legion floats over to Luigi's body.~

Luigi: No no! I have a better idea!

~Legion shrugs and hovers over to Yoshiman's body, then coughs Luigi into his hands and sticks him in Yoshiman's mouth.~

Kuria: You said we had to kiss!

Vorpal: Lucky guess.

Luigiman: Reinforcements time. So let's see... ~concentrates~

~Mr. Predict, Fuzzball, and Wrange Tirk appear.~

Mr. Predict: Great. I was hoping I was wrong.

Ihsoy: This has obviously begun deteriorating beyond my control. ~runs over and presses buttons on the children's escape pods.~ Fusion Kids, distract these fools!

~The four children open their eyes and step forward.~

Author: Golem

~As the Fusion Kids walk out of the pods, Ihsoy slams a large red button at the end of a row of escape pods. In a few seconds, every single escape pod is released from the Cheese Star into space, where they hurtle towards Earth.

Elsewhere, in the engine room...~

Koopa Xtreme: ~reading messages on a backlit watch~ Good... Vlad will arrive here with the Cheesetrooper supply just before oxygen runs out, I won't have to worry about compensating him any more, and the Lupus clones are safely stored in cheddarnite, where they don't need oxygen. ~straps on a breathing mask attached by tube to a backpack with oxygen containers in it~ Time to make sure those clones are secure...

Author: Yami

~Yami Yoshi steps out of Knock/the gnome’s wardrobe and pulls off his right shoe. His right foot has completely converted into yellow cheese.~

Yami Yoshi: ~stomps right foot~ Augh!! Why is this happening to me?!

Knock: Perhaps excessive exposure to the atmosphere of the Cheese Star causes one to turn into cheese.

Yami Yoshi: Then how come none of the other OGers have been turning into cheese?

Knock: Well, you ARE one of the more…uh…naked OGers… Anyways, I’m sure Chizu knows a spell that will reverse the effects of cheesifying.

Yami Yoshi: ~sarcastically~ Yeah, that would be great, except we haven’t really been getting much closer to the OGers since the last page...Are you sure there aren’t any other wooden doors on the Cheese Star?

Knock: Well, there’s a wooden door to the janitor’s closet, but it’s locked, and I can’t open locked doors unless I have the key.

Yami Yoshi: Wait a second…

~Yami Yoshi walks over to the cheesified gnome and pries the baseball bat-sized key out from his frozen hands.~

Yami Yoshi: Do you think this key will work?

Knock: I don’t know, but I suppose there’s no harm in trying. Go ahead! Shove it into my keyhole!

Yami Yoshi: …excuse me?

Knock: ~rolls eyes~ …the keyhole below my knob.

Yami Yoshi: …excuse me?

Knock: ……just give me the damn key!

Meanwhile in space…

~The Spearhead (Vlad’s silver, sleek, and spear-shaped ship) pulls into the Cheese Star’s landing bay with the latest batch of Cheesetroopers (and GORE) on board. Vlad jumps out of the Spearhead’s cockpit and lands in front of a robot that looks exactly like Tim Allen.~

Tim Allen Robot: Welcome to the Cheese Star MK II. Please state your business, sir.

Vlad: …MK II?! What are you talking about?!

Author: Golem

~Elsewhere, Yami Yoshi and Knock have used the key, but find themselves in the room that they were just in.~

Yami Yoshi: Heyy, what gives?!

~The only difference is that now a Tim Allen robot lays on top of the bed. After hearing Yami Yoshi, though, it gets up and turns its head to Yami and Knock.~

Tim Allen Robot: Welcome to the Cheese Star MK II. Please state your business, sir(s) and/or madam(s).

~Before Yami and Knock can reply, the robot charges past them to the wardrobe. Yami throws a Dark Egg just as the robot opens the door to the wardrobe. The robot stands behind the door, and the wardrobe--like a fierce wind--pulls the Dark Egg in. This force starts pulling Yami and Knock in, as well as various pieces of furniture about the room. Yami and Knock can't see anything in the wardrobe but a black abyss.

The suction becomes so great that Yami and Knock are pulled off of their feet towards the door. Yami grabs hold of Knock and places him under his feet, then bends so that Knock horizontally blocks the doorway and Yami stands on Knock parallel to the ground (for the suction of the wardrobe is greater than downward gravity at this point). The Tim Allen robot tries to close the real wardrobe door, making Knock lose his precarious balance over the doorway. Yami headbutts the door, sending it back and squishing the Tim Allen robot against the wall. At this point, Tim Allen robots start flooding into the room, all with cheese laser rifles ready to shoot Yami. At first he thinks it might be a good idea to succumb to the doorway, but when the first shot is fired, he instinctively puts his right foot in the way of the laser. The cheese laser hits Yami's foot, and Yami remains unharmed. In fact, he feels raw power run through him.~

Yami Yoshi: Well well, maybe this cheese foot isn't so bad after all!

OOC: Lupus' new Cheese Star was described as not having anything but Tim Allen 'bots and the obvious laser weaponry, correct? (Yes, I know this post contradicts that.)

Author: Fred

(Koopa Xtreme walks into the cheddernite chamber when a tied off-bag-like net made of barbed wire containing the still-regenerating but horribly deformed Wesus lands before him. Fred walks out of the darkness, and then goes back in and jogs out. Then skips out. Then crab-walks out.)

Koopa Xtreme: You're too late Fred. Begun, the clone war has. So now like Mace is gonna take out an entire Clone army in one episode, it'd be sweet we should sit down and watch is sometime. Or maybe I'll just do this!

Fred: Holy Addams Family Apples!

Koopa Xtreme: Wait, I forgot what I was going to do. It wasn't pulling a knife...

Fred: How about that gun in your jockstrap?

Koopa Xtreme: Yeah! Hey, thanks!

Fred: No problem.

(Koopa Xtreme pulls the gun on Fred, who whistles, and then checks his arm for a watch which is not there, and then lies down)

Koopa Xtreme: DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS

Fred: Yeah, fight the Xtreme, Koopa, I know you're still in there and that you can take over and be mindlessly loyal again and etc.

Koopa Xtreme: NO NEVAR. I was so tired of Lupus. So tired of being told to fix the Ski Lift.

Fred: But... you never did, you Eco-Nazi. Prepare for chopped liver, served fresh within you so you know what's on your platter!

Koopa Xtreme: Can I at least have a monologu-

(Fred swings at K-X or KX-2 or something I don't know STOP STARING AT ME, and thrusts. Koopa Xtreme moves backwards a square and uses TOMAHAWKMAN V CHIP which does like 130 damage in a two by three square area. However, Fred is working on the metric system and the exchange rate is ludicrous so Koopa's attack is a failed one.)

Fred: And now, mr. Bond, you die.

(Koopa shoots Fred, who staggers. Then again. Then again. Then again. Koopa then remembers his training from Resident evil and goes halfway up a flight of stairs, still firing.)

Fred: Oh, oh, this is just perfect. Take this!

(Fred banks a green shell off the staircase's railing and it latches onto Koopa Xtreme. Fred fires another one at him and he plummets off. Then the ceiling shakes and lowers a bit)

Koopa Xtreme: You fool! You've set off the Bust-A-Move reference security system! Now look what you've done.

Fred: I'm really sorry.

Koopa Xtreme: Sorry's not going to cut it. Yar!

(Koopa Xtreme XTREMELY gets on a tron Cycle and traps Fred, who digs under using only his nose. Fred crushes the bike with his hammer and then PUNCHES A STATUE AND IT BREAKS (INSERT GIGEFS BOWSER ROARERS HEER_) and holds up Koopa Xtreme by the shell.)

Fred: This is the end! Wait, I really shouldn't have shouted that.

Koopa Xtreme: Yeah, you know what happens when you do that. The hero, which is me, always pulls out something at the last minute and kills the villain who says that before striking.

Fred: What am I to do? Should I mess up the clones for a Sixth Day reference? Should I run, should I hide, should I not escape your love?

Koopa Xtreme: Run away, and NEVER come back.

Fred: I've decided. MASH THE BUTTONS!

(Fred Spazzes out, smashing the panels and rocking the Cheese star. Suddenly, primary power comes back on, but the Cheese star spins. The Star Ship Enter-for-a-Prize warps in beside it but it smashed into pieces. Tides on earth go nuts. Aaron and Culex's ship, just coming into orbit, is thrown towards the cheese Star MKII.)

Koopa Xtreme: Computer! Override manual controls and-

(A laser beam flies over the Cheese Star, from the Cheese Star MKII. Obviously the spinning fooled it)

Koopa Xtreme: Oh, for the love of... Ram the enemy ship!

(suddenly, unexplained leftover cheesetroopers in sailor suits line up behind him, dancing in a line)

CheeseSailors: He's going to ram it! You know he's gonna RAAAaaammm it! He's gotta-

(Fred dispatches them)

Koopa Xtreme: Ah yes, you. You know, you could join me and have more paste than your could possibly imagine.

Fred: I'd never join you! It's not what the government wants, and so it can't be right!

Koopa Xtreme: I AM THE SENATE.

Fred: K. Now-

(Koopa Xtreme grabs the hammer, and bends it over his knee, making it inoperable. Fred prepares his fists but he's not sure whether barley is truly the best or if he should use more salt or what. Koopa Xtreme throws a mean left, grabs Fred, turns him upside down and SLAMS him into a convienently located fisher-price Basketball net. Fred answers straight back with a birdie, or just punches KX across the room. Koopa XTRA-TREME grabs him by the legs and throws him into a mine. Fred gets up, scorched. He tries to open the Autobot matrix but of course that'd never work.)

Koopa Xtreme: This post is really long. Now, take this. And keep it, as a gift from me to you.

Fred: Aw, shucks, th-

(Koopa Xtreme uses his GADGET COPTER to partially maim Fred, cutting him everywhere)

Koopa Xtreme: And now, you can share Wesus's bag (If you really tried)! Wuahahahahaa. Okay, that was boring. Now, RAMMING SPEED. And find out where that slacker Vlad is. I know the 4002347 highway is busy this time of millenium but come on.

Computer: Whatever you say, Handsome.

Koopa Xtreme: That's not what you're supposed to call me (If you really try).

Computer: Sigh, alright, Master Handsome+1.

(MAYOwhile)

Vorpal: Pfft. You just lost your Aces in the hole. Now, it's time for an overly large amount of pain, suffering, and all that jazz.

Mr. T: You're on the jazz! (If you really try)

Kuria: You really like that body, don't you?

Vorpal: I've missed you so.

Luigi: Okay, so we're fighting children. I can do this, I can justif-

(Beams fly everywhere. Fire flares, invisible forces trip the OGers up, and not so invisible forces in one of the kids beats the OGers up. Legion is thrown into Kuria, and the wall, denting it heavily. In fact, it is so dented it is classifiable as a fossil. Luigi attempts to use the force to counteract them but his hands freeze, and then he is kneed in the stomach by someone he could never see coming, and flew into the rooftop. Psychokenisis turns Vorpal into a human bowling ball, with the rest of the OGers as the pins. Kantii's half-cremated. The children giggle as they throw people three times their sizes around like Rag Dolls)

Ishoy: Didn't even need to get my hands dirty. Children, clean up this mess you've made, and then we can go to the ship's ice cream bar in the VOLATILE DANGER ROOM.

Fusion Kids: Yay!

Legion: What in the name of...

Ishoy: I'm sorry, I don't have much respect for people who aren't very good with children. Fuahahah!

(MARINEwhile)

Youma Ganon: I'm getting sick of looking for this Repus person. Half the people I've asked point to dumpsters and garbage trucks, the rest snicker. I WANT ANSWERS AND I AM AN ANGRY CRIPPLE. Ugh... I need those pills again. (Youma pulls out a packet labelled FUNSHINE DAISY PILLS, and consumes about twenty. He then proceeds to notice the logo on the dumpster, belonging to Repus the Turk garbage disposal. HE FOLLOWS THE TRAIL with those clues and he finally finds the culprit himself. At the top of a two-story company. Repus is an old man, who looks like Lupus, with a graying moustache.)

Repus: Oh no, he's found me! AIEEE!

(Repus jumps out the window, injuring himself slightly. He then takes his no name cyanide pill and jumps into the street, getting run over. He actually survives this whole thing and is taken to hospital where he will live the rest of his pained, miserable life. Youma takes the Wallet in which he carried all his ID, deeds to property, passports, money, savings, and etc. and it has a huge card in it that says "Not related to Lupus the Turk in any way. Don't mix it up.")

Youma: That's the fifth time this bloody weekend.

Author: Tyler

~back at the Cheese Star Mk II~

(Yami Yoshi feels empowered and decides to test it. Another laser is fired and he instinctively blocks it again. Yet another sensation goes through his body.)

Yami Yoshi: Why does it make me feel this way?

Knock:Mmph Mm Hmm...

Yami Yoshi: What's that? (He picks up his other foot)

Knock: I said, You're on my face.

Yami Yoshi: Oh. Sorry.

(While Yami Yoshi and Knock were distracted, a Timbot rams them into the abyss. Yami, Knock, and the Timbot all plummet out of sight into the abyss.)

Yami:~awakes to an unfamiliar cave system~ Where am I? ~He looks down at the shattered Timbot and Knock, who is still unconscious.~

Voice coming from nowhere: This is the Zone of the Wessiah. Designed and named by Wesus Whrist...

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

~The Cheese Star rams into the Cheese Star MK II, shaking everything.~

Koopa Xtreme: Again!

Sir Sur: You don't even know what's in that thing.

Koopa Xtreme: That's what we're going to find out!

~The Cheese Star rams into the Cheese Star MK II again. During the shaking, Syphnity, the topaz of knowledge, rolls off of Koopa Xtreme's desk and down a random hall.~

~On the other side of the Cheese Star, the Fusion Kids are momentarily thrown off by the shaking.~

Luigiman: ~stuck to the ceiling~ Do something!

Mr. Predict: Like what?

Luigiman: Use force!

Fuzzball: YES!

Ihsoy: Betty! Get them!

~One of the Fusion Kids runs apart from the others at an immense speed. Just as she's about to attack, Mr. Predict sticks out his foot and attempts to trip her. She barely jumps it and spin kicks in mid-air, but Mr. Predict ducks under and uses a rising uppercut, which Betty leans away from and catches Mr. Predict's arms between her still-airborne legs. She flips Mr. Predict over her head, but Mr. Predict braces himself and whirls Betty over his head instead. Now replay that in super fast forward over and over.~

~As this is happening, Fuzzball and another Fusion Kid are playing hot potato with a ginormous bomb, and the last two Fusion Kids are hurling spells and beams at Wrange Tirk, but they are reflected off of his stylish armor and/or get knocked back by his crazed sword swings. Luigiman drops from the ceiling and takes off Yoshiman's red shorts.~

Fusion Kids: AUGH OUR VIRGIN EYES! ~pass out~

Ihsoy: I still win, OGers! Your air supply should be gone any minute now! And there's no escape without escape pods!

Chizu: Yes, but... won't your air be gone too?

Ihsoy: Perhaps. But so what if Sapphire's body dies? I can still manipulate it like this.

Sapphire: You BASTARD!

~Kantii lunges at Ihsoy, but he whips out a parasol and smacks him across the face mid-lunge.~

Ihsoy: Let that be a lesson to you all! Never mess with--

~Lila smashes through the wall riding in a tank-shaped PL-0TT, which coincidentally also runs over Ihsoy.~

Lila: Ah, my would-be rescuers. This feels so good right now.

Sapphire: ~throws Kantii's arms up~ NOOOOOOOO!

Vorpal: Wait! We can still save it! ~runs over to Sapphire's body and feels for a pulse~

Luigiman: Mr. Predict! Use your mind powerz to force Ihsoy out!

Mr. Predict: What? I'm a psychic, not a telepath.

Luigiman: You did it in GMOG!

Mr. Predict: Sweatdrop Fine. ~walks over to Sapphire's body~ Ahem...
Get the hell out of Sapphire
Get the hell out of Sapphire
Get the hell out of Sapphire

~Ihsoy pops out of Sapphire's body just as various klaxons and cheese-colored lights begin to go off.~

Disembodied Voice: Countdown: Sixty seconds until air is used up.

Ihsoy: Tootles!

~Ihsoy's spirit floats down an escape pod shaft and into space. Mr. Predict, Fuzzball, and Wrange Tirk also disappear, because they're not really important at the moment.~

Legion: PL-0TT! Get us--

PL-0TT: NOT MASTER GORE!

Legion: Damnit!

SSG: According to this computer terminal, there's still one unlaunched escape pod! Wait... nevermind. It seems to be on a collision course with some other large cheese-based object...

~In the escape pod~

Koopa Xtreme: RAM IT!

Sir Sur: Oh dear...

~In the Cheese Star~

Luigiman: Well... when I find and reinhabit my real body, I'll be sure to tell everyone how brave you were and stuff. And, um, tell Yoshiman I'm sorry if you see him, I guess.

Kuria: There's gotta be some way off this thing!

Legion: There is no way...

Vorpal: Where there's a will, there's a way!

SSG: I never wrote a will!

Disembodied Voice: Thirty seconds until the air is used up.

Kantii: Help...

???: There is a way.

~Rhyk enters, carrying Syphnity.~

Rhyk: I hope you're all happy. He turned me into a topaz. A TOPAZ.

Vorpal: So how are you...?

Rhyk: A convenient holographic projection that I probably technically can't do.

Legion: So how do we...?

Rhyk: The way is right there. ~points at Chizu~

SSG: Chizu's butt is the way?

Chizu: ~slaps SSG~ Perv!

Rhyk: NO! Chizu! A little while ago, you picked up a pen with a bunch of rubber bands wrapped around it, right?

Vorpal/Sapphire/Luigiman: ~sharp intake~

Chizu: Sure, it's... ~pulls out the pen~

Rhyk: The TASTS! Click it!

~Chizu shrugs and clicks the pen. It jumps out of her hands and turns into a newsstand.~

Rhyk: Everyone in!

~Everyone climbs into the newsstand, reluctantly dragging the Fusion Kids in with them.~

Rhyk: Vorpal. Sapphire. Luigi. Do any of you remember how to run this thing?

Vorpal/Sapphire/Luigiman: ~shrug~

Rhyk: Bah. Fine. Let me walk you through it.

Disembodied Voice: Ten seconds until the air is used up. Nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... three... two... one...

~The Cheese Star implodes on itself. As the cheese clears, the TASTS alone remains floating in space...~

Author: Yami

Meanwhile in the Zone of the Wessiah…

Yami Yoshi: ~sniffing the air~ Hmm…this place smells…familiar…

Voice Coming From Behind Yami Yoshi: I believe this is your third time here…Yami Yoshi…..

Yami Yoshi: ~jumps~ Ack!

~Yami Yoshi spins around and sees the Dark Cloak hovering in front of a stalagmite.~

Dark Cloak: And it will also be…YOUR LAST!!! OOGA BOOGA!!! OGUMA BOGUMA!!!

Yami Yoshi: I AIN’T AFRAID OF NO GHOST!!!

Meanwhile in the Cheese Star MK II Control Room…

Guy: The Cheese Star is gone! Earth will be safe!

Lupus: If by “safe”, you mean “DANGEROUSLY CHEESY”, then yes, you are correct.

Guy: I don’t.

Lupus: Then…CHEESE RAY!

Author: Tyler

~back in the Zone of the Wessiah~

Dark Cloak: In order to assure that you will never leave here alive, you must pass a test. ~he reaches into Yami's pocket and pulls out a DS. He somehow manages to take out the battery and destroy it.~ You must get to the end of the Zone and retrieve a new battery.

Yami: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Author: Golem

Dark Cloak: The first part of this test is the ducking contest.

Yami Yoshi: ~shrugs~ Okay.

~Yami Yoshi lowers his whole body to the ground as a spinning razor blade gently swipes by where Yami's head would be, if Yami were still standing. Yami gets up.~

Dark Cloak: Hmm... you have proved yourself worthy... for the spelling bee of death!!

~Lights flash on before Yami Yoshi, showing a dusty floor in front of him with letters carved into it.~

Dark Cloak: The second challenge is the name of Wesus. Only in the footsteps of Wesus will he proceed.

Pharoah: The Name of Wesus...

Yami Yoshi: No Pharoah. Try not to talk, I'm busy here.
The Name of Wesus... Wehovah! Alright, let's begin with V.

~Yami Yoshi leaps onto the V, and it gives way. He falls through the floor and sees what seems to be a bottomless pit below him. However, there are also poles sticking up from the pit, poles that hold the floor up in certain spots. Yami wraps his tongue around a nearby one, then swings to the next one, and the next, until he finally whips himself back up above the floor and onto the end of the letter floor, on solid ground.~

Yami Yoshi: But in the Latin alphabet, "Wehovah" begins with a "V"! There's no "W" in Latin!

Pharoah: Who said this was Latin?!

Dark Cloak: GAaaAaH! You cheated! ~aherm~ Please excuse that outburst... Very well... the last one you will never conquer: the path of flood. Only in the leap from the lion's head will he prove his worth.

~Lights again flicker on in front of Yami Yoshi. He finds that his toes were on the edge of a cliff, and that at the bottom is a ferocious lion. He looks across, and sees that he is 20 meters away from the other side of the pit.~

Yami Yoshi: There's no way I'll cross it with my flutter jump... unless...

~Yami gets out a bag of stale cheesecake crumbs and throws it out before him. They fall into the pit. The lion takes no notice.~

Yami: Well. I'm stumped.

Hades: Remember how I reached Koopa on the other Cheese Star?

Yami: Kinda... like... this?

~Yami shoots fire out of his hands. He shoots a continuous stream, propelling himself through the air until he reaches the other side.~

Yami Yoshi: Oh yeah! Yami Yoshi got through Wehova Zone Act 1!!

~Yami looks down to the pit. The lion is still on the ferocious side of behaviors.~

Yami Yoshi: Man. What a dumb trick.

Author: Yami

OOC: lmao

Sorry, but your post was brilliant, Golem.

Author: Fred

(In the Cheese Star MK II control room...)

Guy: But no! I trusted you! As well, that wasn't the scheme you told me of!

Lupus: Well, maybe I've had a change of plans.

Guy: Maybe? You told me you had a dashing, Lex Luthor-ish scheme. From what I've heard of you... this is far too straightfoward.

Lupus: Okay, you got me. BUT WE GOT YOU ON TAPE! YOU TOTALLY FELL FOR IT MAN!

Guy: What?

Lithium Debater: You're on "You destroyed my Planet??!!11"!

Guy: OH, oh.

Lupus: Here's the real plan. The Cheese Star MKII is just a backup. The Mega decaoxide turbine cheese laser Omega TO THE MAX actually is used to create a material, known as Cheddernite. It's rather harmful to most beings, as the energy it radiates transforms them into cheese. However, most of earth's power plants, whether they realise it or not, is running on it. The entire world economy is based on it. Without it, the generators that keep the world's darkest secret, the incorperals, caged and locked in. Here is what I propose. I use my OVERSEAS ROADTRIP EMERGENCY FUNDS to buy all of the Cheddernite on the planet, stockpiling it in my storehouses, guarded by unecessary terrors of science and/or bastardizations of human beings, aliens, gene splicing, what have you, THE USUAL. I will be left with ten dollars, fifteen cents small change American, thanks to me owning all of it. I refuse to give any back, and the people are forced to ask from a neighbouring Alien Planet to give it to them, who I am supplying, at ludicrous costs and shipping fees, causing the average earth-dwelling human being to be approximately $6,000,000,000 American in debt. After buying the majority of the world for about a nickel, I will have everyone and anyone as my loyal army, and I will be free once again to wake up sleeping demons and put forth another original, ludicrous scheme to become a God or whatnot.

Guy: Super.

GORE: Not if I have anythign to say about it!

Guy: What, it won't be super?

GORE: Naw, naw... I came in a little late. Darn you, Guy.

Guy: Well, that is my name (LAUGHTRACK)

Lupus: Ted Danson Robots... DEAL A MEAL with him.

(GORE throws the machines that surround him IN SURROUND SOUND into each other, and plows through them easily, shrugging off their attempts to pin him like that one instance in Disney's the lion king with the hyenas, you know the one. They proceed to not be such dumbasses and arm their stereotyped repeating blasters made of Egg Beaters and blast GORE until he is charred and can fight no more.)

GORE: But... how...?

Lupus: It was easy, finding out how you got here using the clues. The blues clues. Vlad, reveal yourself but not in that skimpy clothing.

Vlad: ...

GORE: But no! I trusted you!

Vlad: And it was a good thing, too! (throws Vladarang at Lupus, which is shot out of the air by Lithium Debater. GORE rises up again, picking up a table and basically clearing the room of any more robots. Robots for everyone. Guy's legs turn into bedsprings and his hands into unicycles. Lupus grabs a briecase and tries to figure out the combination while giggling to himself. Lithium Debater stands on his head to awaken his chi. Vlad pulls out his spear. Yami Yoshi busts through the roof)

Lupus: You! How'd you get in here? letsee... four... twenty... SIXTY NINE! Hey, that actually worked. (Lupus pulls a SUPER SOAKER XP TWO BILLION from the briefcase, pointing it right at Guy.) I'll do it, I sware!

Guy:Um, Lupus?

GORE: Lupus, you aren't doing this right.

Lupus: Shut up, I'm pretty sure I have the right Guy. Oh, his name IS capitalized, sorry. (points the gun at YY)

Yami Yoshi: There you go, you always hold these things up.

Author: Golem

~Meanwhile, a newsstand floats through space...~

Kantii: Such a vessel was not meant for this many bodies, even if it really tried...

Rhyk: No, no, there's a back room, with plenty of room. ~points to a door~

SSG: There's just empty space behind the door!

Rhyk: ~under breath~ Noob. ~audible~ Since I'm... impaired, could someone else open it?

~Vorpal reaches over to the door and opens it as the non-Party Goers brace themselves. Inside is a brightly colored circular room; the walls are white and the floor is dark blue. Along the walls are computer panels and there is one big computer console in the middle. At the opposite end of the door is a hallway.~

Rhyk: See?

SSG: But how?! That's physically impossible!

Rhyk: Nevermind how. There's sleeping quarters for twelve down the hall. Just don't go in the very last door of the hall ~now typing at various computer consoles~ Anyway, give me a few minutes, and I can have us in the core of the new Cheese Star, because I'll be really trying.

Legion: Who's to say there isn't yet another Cheese Star?

Rhyk: ~stops typing~ We should be there. Now let's--

Chizu: Hold it, what about Yami Yoshi and GORE? We should be looking for them!

Rhyk: No, we've got to take out this Cheese Star while we can!

Legion: No one put you in charge! You're putting us in needless danger!

Rhyk: ~starts typing again~ No, no, it's just--~SSG hops onto the computer and pulls on Rhyk's arm~ Hey, you, get off--

~Suddenly, the room tips on its side. Everyone tumbles onto the walls, which have become floors by the nature of the tipping. Legion opens the door to the outside and finds that Tim Allen robots have turned the newsstand on its side. One Tim Allen 'bot stands at alone a distance talking into a two-way radio. He wears a Home Improvement cap, a sign that he is the leader of the Tim Allen robots.~

Lone Tim Allen robot: We've captured the TASTS, sir.

Author: Yami

GORE: Yami Yoshi! What are you doing here?!

Yami Yoshi: ~shrugs~ I dunno…plot hole?

GORE: Makes sense. Where are the others? Are they safe? Are they all right?

Yami Yoshi: I’m afraid they died…it seems in your cheese frenzy, you killed them.

GORE: I couldn’t have! They were alive! I felt them! They were alive! It’s impossible! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Yami Yoshi: Nah, just kidding. Man, I can’t believe the author just used a Star Wars reference! I thought he was above that!

Author 1: I COULDN’T HELP IT! I REALLY TRIED! I SWEAR!

Author: Fred

Lupus: No more time for talk, time for action! L team, ASSEMBLE (If you really try)!

Guy: My name doesn't start with-

Lupus: I SAID ASSEMBLE. Oh, bloody well, ROUND ONE, FIGHT

(Lithium points a shotgun at both Vlad and GORE. Vlad is able to roll out of the way, and GORE blocks the incoming grape-shot of gerbils, but it pierces his arm. Lithium debater pulls out a small device and presses is, making the shots he just fired explode. GORE tumbles back into the wall. Yami dodges Lupus's destructive fun water playtoy by jumping onto a table, but he is hit by two fists launched from Guy's toaster body. Mid-air, he quickly returns fire with a barrage of Eggs, tripping up Guy and Lithium. Vlad goes in for the kill on Guy but is hit by a suitcase full of syrup, compliments of Lupus. Guy makes his hand an electric drill, and impales Vlad's shoulder. Vlad screams in agony as he still swipes at Guy, who shifts his shape to escape the weapon. YY knees Lithium in the chin, sending him over the table and into the pantry. GORE grabs Guy and crushes him, but is sent into the wall from Lupus's watergun. Vlad throws his spear,sticking a mid-air Lithium's italian suit high up on the wall. Lithium fires at Yami, who forms an egg shield and deflects the vicious Gerbils elsewhere. Lupus flips the large table over onto Vlad, and proceeds to Yami. GORE subdues Guy and sticks him through a wall, then leaps at Lupus, who promptly ducks, making GORE stick himself into a wall. Yami knocks the weapons out of LD's hands with an egg, and is left with Lupus to deal with.)

Lupus: Why'd you have to go and do that, huh? Jeez?

YY: Well, I am kinda trying to... save the world a little, you know.

Lupus: Then you-a shall die.

(Lupus ignites his laser sword, which turns out to be one of those plastic pull-out sword things, and then throws it away and eats the wrapper. He then gives a FOUR HIT COMBO to Yami using his unique style of hitting people with fists. And feet. He does both. What a man. (swoon). You didn't see that. Anyways, Hades takes over and gives a half decent fire-based beating to Lupus who has little resistance because he's playing on NIGHTMARE DIFFICULTY which takes off like 30 points of it. He then picks up Lupus and threatens to throw him down the humoungous tube that's there that I indeed mentioned before.)

YY: I'm not going to let you hurt anyone else/ Stop interrupting my gaming sessions with save the world adventures!

Lupus: Wait... fire guy... Hades... Yes, you're Hades, the one that that Fool of a survivor was talking about! The Kradian! The red, communist of a Kradian!

Yami Hades: What, I don't know you. Yami's pretty hellbent on your demise, and I think I ought to conceed to his wishes, it is his body, after all. Plus, I don't like you either.

Lupus: Ah, but I always have a backup plan. (Lupus uses a kitchen electro-magnet to hit YY on the back of the head with PURE IRONY or just a breadbox. Lupus jumps out of his arms, points the watergun, filled with cheese at him, and laughs) MuahgaahahahwwaerererereRERERERER, ahem. Now, that I have you where I want you, Yami, I can destroy a planet. I had plans for earth, but this is more awesome. Tell me, do you know of New Krad?

Yami Hades: What?!

Lupus: It's Mars. The leftover and suvivor Kradians went there to start anew. And since you have their prince in you, I'm sure you'd be awfully opposed to seeing anything bad happen to them. On the other hand, Earth is the only other choice you have. I have the Pearls of Mystery, I can find that weird engine thing, take Mystery back again and start anew, and make a widely sucessful sitcom about it. And then the actors would never find work again, AHAHAHAHAHMEWWEMFWOWROOEOEOEOEOOEOEOEEOEEOEEeeeeee. Ahem.

YY: No... how... what...

Lupus: I'm letting you choose, Yami. Earth, or New Krad.

(Yami's mind)

Yami: I've always protected Earth.
Pharoh: We can't let either of them go, it's life lost either way!
Hades: My people have just rebegun! The Earth's had a good run!
Yami: Yeah, one that's not going to end on my watch!
Pharoh: There are more People on earth... but they'll be able to escape faster... Are you listening?
Hades: I cannot let them lose what they have left!

(Not in Yami's mind)

Lupus: Tick tock. Um, you alright? Well, I'm just going to flip this Panda. Heads, Mars goes. Tails, Earth goes. Urgh, this thing is six hundred pounds. Okay, I'll use the simulated Panda fli-

(A Round of gerbils coming from Vlad's stolen firearm pierces the window behind Lupus, the one also mentioned before)

Lupus: You know... that's space out there.

Vlad: Looks like I'm not the one who's nearest to it.

(The Vacuum pulls on Lupus, who pulls out a communicator)

Lupus: Tim Allen Bots, attack Earth and pick me up in a 1982 GMC custom van. Do it, or else I'm making you extras in the next Space Jam movie. And bring the rest of those losers with you. Ta ta, gentlemen, HA HA HA.

(Lupus jumps out the vacuum, while Yami comes to)

Yami: So... it didn't fire.

Vlad: No it didn't, come on.

(Guy awaits them as they return, ready to press a button labelled "Unecessarily painful and frightening re-entry which in 9 cases out of ten, especially if you have a broken window, will end up in fatality")

Yami: That's our ticket home. Press it.

Guy: You're the boss. (He does)

Vlad/Yami/Guy: Weee!

(MARACCA-while, in a nearby 1982 GMC custom van...)

Lupus: Now, swing by the first Cheese Star and board with the escape pod that isn't going anywhere there.

Tim Allen Robot: That'll be $9.15.

Lupus: It will not. NOW GO, OR THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES which I am not completely sure of the nature of. You know the ones. Anyways, I think I finally found something that works on Yami.

(MAUL-while)

SSG: This is still cramped. I feel like a lollypop in one of those plastic lollypop containers. YOU KNOW. (glares come from all directions at him) Or, maybe you don't.

(MAZE-while)

Youma Ganon: When Lupus returns, he's going to find a little suprise of equal horror to the one he gave me. I totally redecorated his house with the blood of like twenty virgins, and then put a whoopie cushion on his seat. Oh yeah, I found Repus... but it turns out it was his turkish dog. Which led me to his house where I WILL CONFRONT HIM AGAIN WITH MY TRANSFORMING ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR so long as the battery doesn't run out.