Club Member OG Page 1
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Author: Mariorocks[edit]
*In the underground confines of a building with a fairly large sign that reads: "NOT KNIGHT CLUB BASE!" a medium hight man clad in silver armor runs rampent throughout the hallways into a large room*
Director: LORD CRUSADER!!!!
*SteveT, a very tall........Living suit of armor quickly wakes up from a nap on his severly over-sized sleeping chair and trips over his foot rest*
SteveT half awake: Uh......What do you........Want?
Director: The Saracens are on the move! We should fallow them!
SteveT: Go tell Mario-*yawns*-Rocks, he's the tactical guy
Director: YES SIR LORD CRUSADER!
*Director quickly zips through the hallways at break-neck speed and slams head-on into a man wearing a Samurai suit*
Mikado: Watch where your going! You could've scuffed my armor! I just got it cleaned!
Director: Oh uh.........Sorry....Hey, did I tell you how valuable you are too us and how devistated we would be without you?
Mikado: Oh, you're just sucking up too me
Director: I know, i'm sorry
Mikado: I didn't say stop! Anyway, what's the hurry?
*A knight in red and black armor appears from behind Director*
Mariorocks: The Saracens are on the move
Director: IIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!! DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!!!!
Mikado: I could've done better, his sneaking technique is pathetic at best. Where are the Saracens going anyway?
Director whispering to himself: Dirty, dirty, Saracens, I'll kill them all one day....
Mariorocks: We don't know yet, but we should see what they're up too. Director go get Fred
Director: Awsome! We're going on an adventure!
Mariorocks: I didn't say that
Director: Well we are going to places unknown to finish a quest to be really nosey about our enemies, in otherwords, an adventure!
Mariorocks: ....
Mikado: I can see this is going to be another generic adventure, I guess I'll come along because you all would probably die without me
Author: Director[edit]
Director: The more the merrier! Now to find Fred
*zips through halls to room full of beds*
Director:Hey Fred!!!
Fred: Wuh
Director: were going to fight the Saracens, wannah come?
Fred: wuzzit
Director: Great! Meet you in the court yard!
Fred: What was that blurry silver thing talking about? Oh well, might as well go to the courtyard.
at the courtyard
SteveT: Rollcall!
Director: Here!
Mikado: Here, and with a fresh new copy of the art of war!
Fred: You guys woke me up for this!
Mario Rocks: Here, check out this new armor I got, it has a sword built into my arm!
SteveT: K............................ umm Director what are you doing?
Director: I'm Sharpening my Sword.
SteveT: That's a sword *Shocked*
*proceeds to look in awe at Director's Gigantic sword*
SteveT: OK, Director be careful with that, lets go!
* The knights leave through the gate to find information on the wherabouts of the Saracens*
Author: Mariorocks[edit]
*Meanwhile in the Navada desert the Saracens are on a drive in the Vorp-mobile*
Luiigii: I told ou we should've asked for directions!
Vorpal: Don't make me turn this thing around!
Luiigii: Go ahead! We're lost anyway! I knew you should've given me the map!
Kester: How hard is it to find a fast food resturant anyway?!
Vorpal: Apperantly it's REALLY hard
Kester: Hey look it's a McQuizmo's!
*Kester points to a large, very evil looking resturant*
Luiigii: Why are there always strange buildings in the desert?
Kester: Because nobody can come up with a good plot using author characters!
*Vorpal drives up to a large plastic scottish man's head*
Scott-15h: Welcome to McQuizmo's, may I take your order? OF DEATH!
Kester: Ok.........Either that's the worst prank on earth, or something really bad is about to ha-*The resturant transforms into a giant robot with drill arms and a megaphone comes out of the Scottish head*
???: Haha! You fell right into my trap! Now you will perish at the hands of the Mole Guy Club!
*The scottish head opens up to reveal Masamune wearing a Mole Guy outfit*
Masamune: Mole Guy club wins! Thanks for playing! Drive safely! Hahaha!
*The giant drill-bot gets ready to crush the Vorp-mobile when a rocket-propelled chariot smashes into the drill-bots foot toppling it over*
Director: I think it was a left back there!
Mariorocks: Don't make me turn this thing around!
Masamune: Ah! The other nuissances are here! Now I can kill 3.....4........7 birds with one stone! Hehehehahahaha!
*Masamune snaps his fingers, Yami, Lupus and GORE jump out from the drill-bot*
Author: Director[edit]
Masamune: With the help of my three Mole guy henchme-
GORE, Yami, and Lupus: Did you just call us henchmen?
Masamune: Errrrrrr..... No, i was going to say henchme co leaders
Gore, Yami, and Lupus: Oh, ok then.
Masamune: As I was saying, My henchme Co leaders and I are going to use our ultimate weapon, which will assure you will never return!
*a huge laser appears on the chest of the scottish head robbot*
Masamune: This is my warp device, which will send you far FAR away
The Knight club: Not if we stop you!
The Saracen: No we are going to stop him!
*As the two clubs squabble the beam fires*
Masamune; The beam will send you the Knight Club to the Tibetan alps, and you the Saracen Club to the carribean!
Everyone in the Saracen and Knight clubs: Nooooooooo!!!!!
Masamune: Too late!
*the beam transports the clubs to the locations stated early*
Masamune: Muhahahahaha!
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
*Several hours later, at a mysterious shrine, the four members of the Mole Guy Club, concealed within cloaks, meet beneath a giant golden statue of the Mole Guy.*
Masamune: When shall we four meet again? In thunder, lightning or in rain?
Lupus: When the hurly-burly's done, when the battle's lost and won.
GORE: That will be ere the set of Sun.
Yami: And thrice the brinded cat hath mewed.
Masamune: Great, Yami! Great! You always have to throw us off!
Yami: Hey, I'm in this for the money.
Masamune: Whatever. Let us perform the ritual.
*Masamune, GORE, Yami and Lupus all extend their hands, revealing rings with avatars of the Mole Guy imprinted on them.*
Masamune: Serious!
GORE: Winking!
Yami: Mischievous!
Lupus: Surprised!
*Energy beams fire from the four rings and combine to form a vaguely mole-like man.*
Mole Guy: With your powers combined, I am Captain Mole Guy!
Masamune: Alright, my loyal demigod. Smite the filth that has polluted our forums! Destroy the Knights, and crush the Saracens, with your obnoxiously-great powers!
Mole Guy: Hey, I don't like to toot my own horn... but hey, consider them dead.
*Mole Guy flies off while the Mole Guy Club members raise their arms in triumph.*
Author: Director[edit]
The Carribean, and the Story of the Saracens
Vorpal: where are we?
Kester: well, the mole guys said they were sending us to the carribean.....
Luigi: Now well never be the dominant faction. :'(
Vorpal: Not so fast, they sent the knights to the Himalayas , so we still have a chance, but first we have to make our way way back to the Navada desert and defeat the Mole guys!
Luigi: Let's get moving
*The Saracens make their way north and run into a strange group of islanders*
Big chief Kameha: You look yummy in tummy. Me Big chief Kameha, who you?
Vorpal: Were, uh, did you say yummy in tummy?
Big chief Kameha: Yea, we cannibal islanders, you look like meat that had beeen tenderized!
Author: Ditto McCloaker[edit]
The Himalayas, the Knights Club story
Director: oh, great, were in the himilays, but we're not gonna freeze to death here will we Lord Crudaser?
SteveT: Shaddap. *shivers*
Nintendofreak: Lord Mikado, why are you packing that snow up like that?
Mikado: I happen to be making a snow fortress.
Director: Why?
Mikado: Third chapter in my book, in the section for battles where one side occupies a well-fortified and superior fortress and one does not.
Director: What's the rule?
Mikado: Endeavor to be one inside.
SteveT: That makes sense.
Nintendofreak: But we're not in a battle!
Mikado: You can't build a base once you're IN battle.
Director: But the enemy is thousands of miles away!
Mikado: Which is to our advantage. They'll have thousands of miles to cross to get to us, whereas we've already arrived at the battlefield early. They'll arrive weary and battered, while we'll be rested and have considerable preparations.
Nintendofreak: But- that's not- I mean- *frustrated* THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LINE UP ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF A FIELD, WAIT FOR A SIGNAL, AND THEN RUN SCREAMING AND SWINGING WEAPONS TOWARDS EACH OTHER!
Mikado: You'll thank me when we enter battle with a fortress to fight from.
SteveT: I think Mikado's got the right idea about this sort of thing. Relax.
Mikado: Yeah. Hey, we're gonna need supplies. I hereby appoint you two Quartermasters. Go get provisions.
Nintendofreak: Nuh-uh, Lord Crusader's the only one who can appoint us Quartermasters.
SteveT: You're Quartermasters. Go get food.
Director: That's more like it.
Nintendofreak: I see a town over that snowy ridge, let's go down there and hunt for food.
SteveT: Might be criminals in that town, take some protection.
Director: It's okay, I'm carrying my mace. *takes out an iron-spiked mace* *makes a toothy grin*
Mikado: Okay, off you go.
~They leave~
SteveT: You think there's any danger?
Mikado: Nah. It's too cold out for them to set fire to anything.
Author: Director[edit]
The Himalayas, the knight club story part two
The Yeti, the village, and a snow fortress
Mariorocks: God, we've been walking for HOURS, and the village doesn't get any closer!
Director: Wasn't your name just NintendoFreak?
Mariorocks: I like to switch it up.
*Meanwhile a gigantic brown furred beast approached*
Mariorocks: Hey whats that?
Director: Whats what?
*the Yeti had dissapeared*
Mariorocks: Just my imagination I guess.....
*after hours of walking Marirocks and Director reached the village*
Director and Mariorocks: FINALLY!!!
Village master zong: Why do you come to my humble village?
Director: we need food for the Knights club! We are building a snow fortress and-
Village master Zong: Enough! To recieve food, you must find the Yeti, and escape it's layer with one of the icicles from it! The Yeti is a good entity, but it will do anything to defend nature, and it views your presence as a desecration of nature.
Mariorocks: Can we defeat it?
Village master Zong: No! The Yeti is a god of nature, you just have to escape with the icicle, it's layer is in a cave on the peak of Mount Everest.
Director and Mariorocks: We can do it, don't worry Master Zong!
Village master Zong: Trust me, I won't....
Author: Mariorocks[edit]
*Knight story part three*
NintendoFreak: Great.......MORE WALKING!!
Director: Stop changing your name! It's getting anoying!
Mariorocks: Fine, I'll stick with Mariorocks. How much further do you think it is anyway?
Director: We're nearly a half of an eighth way there
NintendoFreak: If I have to walk that far i rather chew my own foot off!
Director: Didn't you just agree to stop switching names?!
Mariorocks: Oh don't be silly Big D, i would say nothing of the sort, you're just hearing things
*Loud shreeking sound that can be heard for miles*
Director: W-W-WH-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
NintendoFreak: What the hell was what?
Director now shaking: I H-HEARD SOMETHING SC-SCREAM!!!
Mariorocks: See, I told you, you're hearing things
Author: Fred[edit]
(Mariorocks and Director (I'm not typing in "The Director" every time, that's just ridiculous in fact I'm shortening Mariorocks to MR) climb the 27 degree angle and sort of treacherous slope to the Yeti's lair atop the himalayas...)
MR: This is a fierce 27 degree slope!
Director: I'll say!
Yeti: No, you won't! You won't say anything ever again!
Director: Hey, you're supposed to be some mindless nature god!
MR: Yeah, what are you doing talking?
Yeti: SHUT UP
MR: ...ok
(MR and Director dodge to their left as the creature lunges, keeping himself steady on the slope with his other hand while swinging at them. They are gradually moved towards a small cropping up of snow that acts as a wall or at least kind of a a hill but they're totally cornered)
Director: We'd never make it if we jumped!
MR: I love you
Director: really
MR: No but do you feel better about dying
Director: Yes, actually. Wait, we still have the mace!
MR: Gimme that, I'll attach it to the grappling hook!
Yeti: There's no way out (digs claws into the hill-side closer and closer)
MR: YARGH
(MR flings the grappling mace while the Yeti is in transit from one hand to another and strikes his clawed hand that's firmly planted into the snowy, 27 degree angled hump. The Yeti howls in pain and fear as he slides extremely gradually into the chasm which they they can still see until he goes over a small snowbank and behind it their vision is cut off)
Director: Man that was close we were nearly horribly inconvenienced!
MR: It could be next time, Director. We've got to be more careful.
Director: No I refuse
Author: Director[edit]
Director: Ok, He's gone, for now anyway.
Mariorocks: Let's get moving, we still have to retrieve the icicle.
Director:Right
* Director and Mariorocks continue to scale the mountain*
Director: Jeez are we there yet!
Mariorocks: No, we have a long way to- Oh god not again!
* The Yeti emerges from nowhere*
Director: Ah shacks, we got a live one!
* the Yeti hits Director knocking of a shingle of his armor*
Director: Damn it! I just got that armor :'(
Mariorocks: I'll launch my arm sword at him!
*The arm sword connects, and the Yeti runs off*
Director yes!
Mariorocks: Hey theres the peak!
*They enter the cave in the peak*
Director: what is that?!?
*A giant Yeti is seen in the mountain, each tooth is 15 feet longer than the knights*
Director: I thought the yeti was smaller than that!
Evil Master Zong: It is!
Director: Zong is that you?
Evil Master Zong: I'm the one who has done this, I have infused the Yeti with element X, which has made him Uber buff!
Director and Mariorocks: Why?
Evil master Zong: I work for the Mole guys.
Author: Mariorocks[edit]
Mariorocks: Damn you Mole Guy!!!!!!!
Zong: Muahahahaha! There is no escape!!!
Director: How will we get the icicle now?!
Mariorocks: Screw the icicles! The guy we were gathering them for is evil! I say we get the hell off of this mountain and do some good ol' fashioned pillaging like real knights do!
Director: You're right! For the Lord Cusador!
Mariorocks: For the hell of it!
*The two zip down the mountain*
Zong holding a walky-talky: They are heading to the target zone, they'll be there in about 3 hours
Guy on other side of walky-talky: Good, we'll meet you at base level then
*To be continued*
*Saracen story part 2*
Chief Kameha: You run now! We chase! Humba-humba!
Vorpal: You heard him! Move your asses!
*The three Saracens take off running and screaming as the cannibals chase them into the jungle*
Luiigii: What do we do?!
Kester: We should make for the coast! I heard that cannibals can't swim!
Vorpal: Why can't they swim?
Kester: It has something to do with never watched a hockey game or something
Luiigii: Did you just make that up?
Kester gasping: I am offended sir! Do you think I would make something up from thin air?!
Vorpal: You know what, screw it, we'll argue later! Get to the coast!
*The three make it to the coastline and find a strange pirate ship just off shore*
Vorpal: What luck! Hurry! Get it ready to sail!
*The three work frantically ready-ing the ship as the cannibals draw closer*
Luiigii: Oh this is not good! We have to work faster!
*The three work harder and faster until they olmost seem unnaturally fast until the ship is setting sail and they are safely out to sea, a handful of pirates are left on the beach yelling as the cannibals notice them and chase them into the jungle*
Author: Director[edit]
Sarcen story part 3
One ship to rule them all
Vorpal: Thank God we got off that island
Big chief Kameha: it no over!
Vorpal: WAH!!!
*Vorpal wakes up from a terrible nightmare*
Vorpal: Gotta lay off the Tobasco....
Luigi: What happened? I heard a scream and-
Vorpal: Save it Luigi, I just had a nightmare and-
Big chief Luigi: or are you still dreaming?
*Vorpal's arms start to melt*
Vorpal: whats going on!
Masamura: Your dreams are being eaten!, everyone you've ever hurt are coming to destroy you!
Voralion: Nooo, reality is falling apart!
Yami Dragoshi: BOOO!!!
Vorpal: Ah!
Misty: I'll kill you!
Vorpal: eek!
Donkey man citrus man: You shall suffer!
Vorpal: Hey, you're just a compilation of names!
Magilla the GORE-ILLA: Die scum!
*Luigi and Kester are watching Vorpal dream*
Kester: should we wake him?
Luigi: Nah
*meanwhile the Mole guys are speaking at their sacred shrine*
Masamune: This dream killer device is working perfectly!