Member OG 5B Page 2
| Pages in the Member OG 5B Archive |
| 1 - 2 |
Author: Fred[edit]
Cal looks out the window again, wondering if it ever really happened.
Cal: Man, I need Private psychiatry.
Pvt. Psychiatry: Here you are sir.
Cal: What? What's going on? Man, was it something I ate?
Pvt. Cook: Your last meal waz, what we in ze cooking bizz call a "laxative breakfast".
Cal: Ok, that was just disgusting, and if you don't get out of here, I'll have to call the bloody police.
Pvt. Thought: No, I'm afraid that ist impossble. We are under strict orders of commander Diskun of the TWIFATIT army to bring in or detain anyone that has anything to do with the ones known as the VGFers.
Cal: This is impossible! You can't do this to us!
Rocky: Now that it's over just give me somethin to drink!
Cal: No! You're all crazy! You'll never take me alive!
(Cal throws a jar full of jars at the assailants, and then a chair with no legs. They retailiate with their "Slippery glue" launchers, but it is too late, as Cal have jumped out of the second story of his house. Cal's fall is broken by a low-flying crow, and he lands on the ground, slightly shaken.
He quickly got up and noticed something on the ground. This may have seemed like no time to pick something up, especially a rubber band, but then again it was a rubber band, and without a rubber band, living life isn't really living it, is it?)
(Meanwhile, at an undisclosed area in Iceland II)
DarkMario: Man, my toe is really itchy. This is almost... UNREAL.
???: Make no mistake, it is full of toast.
DarkMario: Who goes there? Who dares fill the scenery of my home with the shrubs and bushes pretaining to such things?
??? the second: We've been watching your movements, and we are none too pleased. You must end this, or a cure for lobsters will be found.
DarkMario: Discontinue such tomfoolery without the tom, but instead a harry. I know you're just Fred and GreatLuigi, from TWIFATIT.
Fred: Oh, alright, but I can and will do a somersault on your bacon.
GreatLuigi: This operation is evil, but not evil in our favour. We can help you make this operation... Cliche evil.
DarkMario: I see where this is going. You either want to eat me and replace Bob Saget, OR you are going to start changing things here and funding me.
Fred: MAYBE YOU SHOULKD MARRY IT
GreatLuigi: No, Fred, shutup for a second. 'Twas your second suggestion that we came for, and it shall benifeit us all. Now for the cliche evil laugh.
Muahhahaa. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
(fade to black)
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
*Some time later, GreatLuigi and Fred are inspecting the soldiers while Dark Mario watches.*
Fred: *points* You there! Show me your sword!
Soldier: Yessir! *Draws a long and deadly sword*
Fred: *slaps sword out of Soldier's hand with a spatula.* YOU'RE FIRED!
Soldier: But I did nothing!
GreatLuigi: Talking back to Sir Frederick or I equals the death penalty. And a free toaster with every can of Sprite.
Soldier: Really? *is shot*
*Near the end of the line...*
GORE-ILLA: Those guys look familiar somehow.
Golem: Well you kinda battled them to the death three years ago.
GORE: Oh, THEM! Aw crap, I need to hide!
Vorpal: Yeah, we can also enter your body so you can use out powers.
Ditto: And I'm the one you need right now, lad.
*Ditto's ghost flies into GORE's body. An outline of a cube resembling Guieseppie appears which GORE punches. GORE grabs the doll it produces and a second later he becomes a tall, bulky human with spiky brown hair and eyes. His entire body is gorilla-like and he has a scar on his left cheek.*
GORE: Watch out, they're coming this way!
*Fred and GreatLuigi walk over.*
Fred: Your eyes are filled with familiarity.
GreatLuigi: Wasn't he a musical performer at the TWIFATIT Rally of '87.
Fred: My toe says "Ask again later".
GORE-ILLA: Why yes I am the person or persons you speak of, unless you have a grudge against him, her, it, or they. If so I must tell you that I am someone/thing else.
GreatLuigi: I like your style. Promotion!
Author: Fred[edit]
Quickly GORE is premoted to the title of Vice Taste testing lackey. He rises through the ranks, and defends the ship from the Fremch. Eventually Hornblower -
Never you mind what was typed, just read on from here.
Quickly GORE is premoted to the title of Vice Taste testing lackey. He would of called his mother, she would have been proud, but he probably didn't have one, so let's not get into that.
(in the Extra-large Janitor's closet of EVIL plotting of sorts)
Fred: I trust not how amish this new-and-improved detergent of a lackey is. Mayhap premoting him was a stroodle of a noodle idea, eh?
GL: Well crown me queen of cumberland, we'll kill all of them, including Dark_Mario whence we get the chance that is carved from the blood of one thousand chocolate milkshakes, but wrenching such a piece of toast is impossible.
Jim Carrey: Smile! You're on Camdon Camera!
Fred: GASP! Mike Tyson is destroying The Price Is Right and that guy is a spy!
GreatLuigi: And you know how we cook pastrami and deal with spies, right?
Fred: Are these thoughts and that flaming trashcan connected in any way, shape or form? Please say yes. Jimmy's life depends on this.
GreatLuigi: No. Jimmy can live. We're talking about the pressure cooker here.
Jim Carrey: Rr-ee-he-healy?
(quickly Jim is roasted, but GORE onlooks the event as it unfolds)
GORE: This is all their evil scheme! I must think of a way to stop them. But how?
(GORE is knocked out of the way by some of Dark_Mario's elite baby skinning Tennis Players)
GORE: Eh?
Dark_Mario: (over loudspeakers) Attention! This is the alarm force central station... er, who wrote that down? Ah, here we go. It has come to my attention that Fred and GreatLuigi conspire against me in order to take over TWIFATIT. Please throw them in the nearest vat of boiling acid.
GL: But our plans were flawless. This stands not on my floor but the chair or perhaps higher.
Fred: Perhaps my paintings were with ALL te colours of the wind.
GL: In any case, escaping is the first order.
Fred: I was up first: It was a hamburger. And yet let me be the first to congradulate your teeth loss.
(Fred grabs the first of the soldiers and tosses him at the other soldiers. They all move out of the way, but the man flies into a giant boomerang which uses his force to cut a huge gap in the ranks. GreatLuigi pulls up his sleeve, showing the Devil's Scepter, which was attached to his arm in a gruesome way. GL lets loose the cord it is attached to and blasts it against the wall, putting an impassible, painful to touch rope barrier in front of the army, impeading it greatly. Fred tosses an industrial-sized bottle of cleaning detergent into the fray, crushing many of the troops. Needless to say, Fred and GreatLuigi escaped, and as soon as GL was for enough in front of them, he retracted the Devil's scepter to use another day. During all this, GORE had transformed himself into a man in a duck suit so that he could blend in with the army uniforms. GORE looked around himself and saw that Dark_Mario had planned this all along, and was planning to rid himself of TWIFATIT altogether, and take it's resources. Dark_Mario was planning to use the Russian Mailmen to transport the thousands of TWIFATIT assasins he had originally been supplied with to every person's doorstep, and eventually rule the world like so. He was able to easily frame GL and Fred, as they were planning to knock him off obviously, and Dark_Mario convinced everyone that they were against TWIFATIT in such a decsion, although it was their original, secret orders. If you didn't get that, Dark_Mario was supposed to die, but he made it look to the people working under the people that wanted him dead that he was not supposed to be dead. My brain and also my water fountain hurts.)
GORE: Man, I need a way to stop this evil plan. If there was some way to get in contact with the VGF six via the Toaster-oven-supercomputer, then I could probably shut this thing down. As it is, Dark_Mario could rule the world any minute now.
DM: (loudspeaker) GORE-ILLA must make his way to the head office or you will all be shot, one by one.
GORE: Uh oh.
(Meanwhile)
Evil Scientist Dude: Curse that GORE! He'll rue the day he ever started making decsicions for himself, now that my "ground-breaking" reseach is complete. MON-KILL!
MON-KILL: What is it, you filthy fleshbag.
Evil Scientist Dude: YOOOOOURE FIRED!
MON-KILL: No Mr. Scientist dude please no Mr-
ESD: I was kidding.
MON-KILL: Of course. My George Jetson impression is improving though, you must admit.
ESD: Stop that. Anyways, I have completed the Seismic amplifier, or the earthquake machine. It should give us the edge against GORE and any major city we come across.
Mousse: The Edge 1.02?
Bullwinkle: No! Please! I'll go back to law school! JUST NOT THAT!
(also meanwhile, on the outskirts of Iceland II)
Fred: Just once I'd like KCF for the meal I don't actually eat.
GL: I feel the same on the outside, but my pizza filling goes too deep otherwise. Man, we need some serious revenge against this Dark_Mario stooge.
Fred: It's ok, I had paint thinner for lunch, and it's possible to invade using TEH JEFFERY'S TUBE
GL: Ok, sure, Tuesday sound fine by my people, so I'm fine with meat loaf, but who did that one guy remind you of?
Fred: Jerry Springer? Rodney king? Oh, that bald guy must have been Mr. Clean, too. He could have a bloody movie.
GL: Sure. But he was GORE
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
Fred: You must be a fool and for that I slap you with my mind. The GORE whp is known to you as well as I is a gorilla man, yet the person you accuse of being so is no more then a gorilla-like man!
GL: that may be so, but do not let your artery decieve you as I can tell the resemblance and that is most remarkably like the gorilla. You must have been spoon-fed at the dancng acadamy if you do not realize the possibiility of a disguise being used.
Fred: If what you say is true and ny lemonade is not in fact pregnant, then what help does this brings us as Dark mario lies to our master and makes him dislike us as if we were a BAM! game.
GL: Perhaps that is so, but capturing this fabled GORE will do well to convince the master that we have not gone bacon and so we will capture him as he approaches Dark Mario's office which he has been summoned to just a few minutes a go.
Fred: That's bloody wicked, you codger you!
GL: Please refrain from using that vocabulary.
Fred: If the mongoose approves.
*Back with GORE..*
GORE: I need to be in true form to got to dark Mario's office - so Ditto...
Ditto's ghost: Fine, fine. *GORE turns back to normal as Ditto's ghost flies out of GORE's body.*
GORE: So what abilities do the rest of you have?
Golem's ghost: Most of my powers can't be used til we get the TASTS back. Aside from that I can... uhh... draw! And Vorpal can increase your swordfighting powers, Saph forgot her power, Elzie can turn you invisible for some reason, Masa can let you split into two entities, and LoTP can help you focus your Jedi powers.
GORE: Hmmm... I'm sure GL and Fred will try to set a trap, so I'll use Masa to split me in two! That way one of me can fight Fred and GL while the other sneaks past and meets with Dark Mario!
Elzie's ghost: Y'know, It'd be a lot easier for you to use my power to sneak past them, steal the TASTs from DarkMario's office, and be out of here before anyone notices.
GORE: I see no violance in that theory - which is why I choose Masa!
Masa's ghost: Oh, alright.
*Masa flies into GORE's body. A bright flash covers the room and GORE is seperated into two figures. The first looks exactly th same as the Jedi GORE we know... however, the other figure is the Cyborg GORE from the earlier OGs! For convience they will be called The Monkey and GORE, respectively.*
The Monkey: Great. So I'm going to meet Dark Mario.
GORE: Aaand that leaves me with the fight! Yes!
*Elsewhere, Cal peeks out of an alley to see if the pursuit had given up yet - only to find a lot of guns pointed at him. A squad of soldiers with bigass metal guns, tanks covered with advanced metal armor, and even metal helicopters flying above. No foreshadowing here.*
Cal: Oh great...
*But before the soldiers could say a word, they were sent flying to the side, as if something had grabbed their metal guns and dragged them to the side by it. The tanks and helicopters were torn apart by some invisble force. Cal looked up and saw a man floating high above the street. He was tall, with a blonde hair and a long, flowing cape. On his right hand was a metallic glove, which he waved around alot. It ppeared to have some connection withe the exploding metal. The footsoldiers had by now discarded their metal weaponry and replaced them with non-metal swords. Two figures dove into the crowd and began brutally fighting off the soldiers. One was a man who appeared to be very skilled with a sword. He chopped his way through the crowd. The second figure resembled the dinosaur Cal had seen earlier, but this one had claws, large wings, red hair, and brown eyes. He also had a "Rainbow Sword" and appeared to be more interested in shwoing off then fighting off villains. A red cloak appeared before him suddenly and wrapped around him as the boy screamed in fear. He felt a long jump in his stomach and when the cloak unwrapped him, Cal was in a large, empty metalli room. The cloack then disappeared and reappeared with the man who had been flying above the streets before disappearing again. Cal backed away in fear.*
Cal: W-who are you?
Figure: I am Introbulus. I can control metal with my Iron Gaunlet, and I'm part of a resitance group fighting an evil empire. The cloak who brought you here was my partner, Jim the Mage. And the other two figures you met down there were SwordMaster, the master of swords, and Black Skull Dragoshi, a fusion of a yoshi and some playing cards or something.
Cal: What's going on? I demand answers!
Introbulus: We're the remnants of a group called the VGF Six. We've been fighting Lupus the Turk and his TWIFATIT Empire for the last seventeen years. We've managed to releash his hold over Japan, but now he's after Americas. They'll be pretty gullible after spending all that time wiped off the face of the earth! Plus their atomic weapons and soldiers could help him regain Japan-
Cal: But why did you bring me here?
Introbulus: I'll explain that when the rest of my group returns. Jim should be back with them any second now.
*Jim warps in with SwordMaster, who is covered with sweat.*
SwordMaster: They've got BSD!
Introbulus: WHAT???
Jim: Its' true. The braggard got cocky. Private Parts knocked him out from behind and he was taken into the Twif-Jet.
Introbulus: then we have no choice but to leave this base and find a new one. They're likely to torture the truth out of him. We need to get to New York and find Pharoah. maybe we'll get there in time, unlike last time with the other two-
Cal: One more question... what happened to the rest of your team?
Introbulus: Our leader, Yami Yoshi, disappeared earlier today on his island. There have been reported explosions in that area, so we assume he'e been captured. Our second-in-command disappeared on Coruscant, where some people connected to Lupus have been seen at the time of his disappearance. Now all that's left is us... but Pharoah doesn't know about Lupus's plans - they're gonna trap him in a card-dueling tournament. Oh, and one more thing - that rubber band that you have... give it to me.
*Back in the Iceland II Base, GORE walks down the hall and is jumped by Fred and GL as planned. He's accompanied by the ghosts of Golem, Saph, and Elzie. The Monkey sneaks by the fight scene unnoticed escorted by Ditto, Vorpal, LoTP, and Masa(who only needs to be inside of GORE to unite or seperate him) He enters the office and walks up to dark Mario*
The Monkey: (gets down on one knee) you wish to see me, sir?
DarkMario: Of course. (presses red button desk. The windows and doors seal shut with blockers made of that stone that repels Jedi powers.) My master called asking for some friends... he believes you are aquanted with them? (he pulls out a supersized version of the poltegust and turns on a blinding light, exposing the PGer ghosts' hearts. DarkMario sucks away while the office is propelled by jet engines into the air and towards a certain cliched lair in America)
*Elsewhere, GORE witnesses the flying office while he fights off Fred and GL*
Fred: An interesting phenomina, as Dark Mario's office seems to be flying towards Master's new lair.
GL: More interesting is the specimen we fight. Did you not lose the metal parts you now sport?
Fred: I recall your earlier explanation on the theories of disguises and the monkeys at the typewriters.
GL: Very well. Continue battle.
GORE: This doesn't look good...
Author: Legion[edit]
"Sir? Sir!"
"Groan."
"What is it Sergeant?"
"The OG's started again sir."
"Cor blimey!"
SSG: Yep. Sooo, what now? Oh look, script format.
Legion: Yes, I'm feeling lazy today, and, oh my god, I've still got that hideous avatar. Well, I'll soon change that.
SSG: Whee. Fleetway Chaos.
Legion: Quite. It's better than that hideous black & white one. Ugh.
SSG: Sir? The OG?
Legion: What? Ah yes. Well, the Hutton Inquiry's over now, so I have nowhere to laugh at Blair now.
SSG: Should we stop talking to ourselves, create a setting, and get involved with the plot?
Legion: Eh. Maybe later.
Author: Golem[edit]
Cal: Uh... sure... ~hands over rubber band~
Jim: We should go back to where we were when Black Skull Dragoshi got kidnapped... hopefully, there will be a trail that we can follow, and these people are related with those who got Yami Yoshi.
Cal: Hold on! Did you say 17 years you've been fighting this guy?!
~And they were all whisked away, even Cal. At the scene...~
Cal: Why am I here?
SwordMaster: They'll just go after you again if we leave you there, so you have to come with us. Try not to get in the way...
~Later, Cal is staring up at the sky, full of boredom, when...~
Jim: Nothing, there's no traces left.
SwordMaster: I've reached the same conclusion.
Introbulus: Well, then... where do we go from here?
SwordMaster: ~after a few secons~ Where are you guys from?
Jim: We're not permitted to say...
Introbulus: We were sent from that place, to help you guys...
Jim: ~giving Introbulus mean glance~
SwordMaster: Well, well. We have grounds for a road trip, then.
Jim: What...?
SwordMaster: Yeah. We get The Powers That Send to tell us some more about our current situation!
Jim: Eh... why don't you just, uh, check the script again?
Introbulus: Alright! We're going home, Jim! *cheezy grin*
Jim: ~gives Introbulus an off-the-charts mean glance~ Intro... may I talk to you personally for a few minutes?
Author: Legion[edit]
Legion: OK, I'm getting bored of this void now. Let's involve ourselves in this sorry state of affairs that is the main plot.
SSG: Portal ready, cap'n!
Legion: Er... Right. Well, shall we be off then.
~The two Shyguys leap through the Swirling Vortex of Doomededness.~
Legion: So tell me Sergeant, when will we be arriving? Oh, ****. I forgot. This is a plothole after all.
~After an indeterminable amount of time, high above the planet's surface~
Legion: Remind me to kill you when this is done.
SSG: Will do.
Both: YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ~falls~