Nichibutsu Inc. Ltd Page 7
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Ditto McCloaker[edit]
*Meanwhile, in a meeting of game company CEOs...*
Ditto: ...and, it's like... I keep making these decisions... but it's like it's not me making them. Like it's somebody else. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yamauchi: I think so. You find you have made decisions you didn't even realize you'd made.
Ditto: Precisely.
Yamauchi: I know just what you mean. I don't know it happens...
*Shigeru Miyamoto walks by munching on an apple*
Yamauchi: Well... do you trust these decisions? Have they been bad ones?
Ditto: ...Hm... well... a little odd... but not life-threatening. They've been alright, I guess. Sure, I guess I trust 'em.
Yamauchi: Well, then, it doesn't sound like you have much of a problem. I mean, you're still the head. It's not like you can't go back or flip flop or be deistically arbitrary whenever you wish.
Ditto: This is true. Thanks! I feel a lot better!
Yamauchi: Now, I believe you owe me $130,000 for club dues.
Ditto: Well, I guess everyone's at MY company's getting pay cuts!
*they both share a hearty laugh*
~Back at Nichibutsu HQ~
Ditto: That's right... all I have to do is assert myself. In fact, it's about time I rolled up my sleeves and got into the creativity department. Yeah! I've got some brilliant ideas! Time for some executive decisions...
*walks into the storyboard department with Saph, Elzie, and Yoshiman*
Ditto: Yoshiman, you're being transferred.
Yoshiman: Whaaaa-?!
Elzie and Saph: 
Ditto: We think you're talents will be best allocated to Vorpalion. I feel like it'd be a good move to work with Vorpal.
Yoshiman: But, why...?!
Ditto: Well, for starters, this is the Storyboard Department, not R & D. They're just in charge of writing storylines for gameplay oriented games. RPGs and the like will be handled by Vorpalion division. Nichibutsu will focus on other stuff. You're still one of our boys as far as programming and tech stuff goes.
Yoshiman: Hm... that sounds like a brilliant idea! You ARE a great CEO!
Ditto: Why, thank you!
*Yoshiman leaves the room, and then stops*
Yoshiman: That's strange... why did I say that? Oh well. Still a good idea. *goes to Vorpalion*
Saph and Elzie: So, what will our company make?
Ditto: Any new ideas submitted by the creative team.
Saph and Elzie: Who are...?
Ditto: Everyone here!
Saph and Elzie: Hm... so you might have just... kept Yoshiman and Vorpal here.
Ditto: Eh, it's good to let them feel independant. There's still a lot of give and take between our parent company and theirs. It's a name only division.
Saph and Elzie: Great!
Ditto: Oh, and there's a new addition to this company's creative team.
Saph and Elzie: Who?
*Ditto takes off his executive coat, rolls up his shirtsleeves, and pins on an employee pin*
Everyone: *gasp*
Yoshiman[edit]
Hey, if you didn't want us making desicions for you, you coulda told us, 'Prez.
Vorpal: Yes! And little fishies too!
Yoshiman: What are you talking about?
Vorpal: None of your business!
Yoshiman: I just got another transfer. Isn't that great?
Vorpal: *Bored* To where?
Yoshiman: Oh, your department.
Vorpal: 
Can he do that to a second party company?!?
Yoshiman: I don't know. Hey, let's go over my Game Ideas!
Vorpal: Hmm. *Looks at 'Fool of Fighters' paper* Hey! This is mine!
Yoshiman: Technically it's both ours. I incorporated most of the characters.
Vorpal: I hope you're not planning on making 'Mario Kart World Cup' in as your own idea. . .
Yoshiman: Well, I was the only one who wrote it up. . .
Vorpal: But I was the one who thought of the little nifty intro sound that says 'Welcome back to Mario Kart!'.
Yoshiman: I wrote up all the characters, course basics, and secrets in the game.
Vorpal: I helped with the characters!
Yoshiman: You wanted Link and Kirby as secret characters.
Vorpal: That'd be cool! Just think of it. . .
Yoshiman: 
Vorpal: Alright. . . yeesh. . .
Yoshiman: Then there's YOUR Ideas. . .
Vorpal: But we can't get 'Captain N' as a game until we secure rights to many many NES games!
Yoshiman: And then there's MY Ideas. . .
Vorpal: Pu-leeze. Imperial Reign? Where'd you get a stupid RPG title like that?
Yoshiman: IT's not stupid! And I already have the ideas for a sequel!
Vorpal: What's it called?
Yoshiman: Imperial Reign II.
Vorpal:
Masamune[edit]
Masa: Well... this is the most boring thing I've done... *looks at all the advertisements he's coem up for the system itself* Now if I had some GAMES to work with...
*he flips on his computer again*
Masa: Hmm... lessee...
*he begins laying out several different ideas that he had stored in the back of his mind*
Masa: Hmm... I know! I'll make a game called Lord Blade! Hmm... now for a plot and gameplay... *pulls some paper from the printer and begins scribbling stuff down* Hmm... a magic sword... hehehe... I'll call it the Masamura, very obscure of me, hehehe... Now, what kind of sword? Katana... long sword, short sword, broad sword, cutlass, sabre.... blast, sure is a lot to choose from...
*he tries drawing the guy with every single sword*
Masa: Wow, I don't think he could walk with those on him! Hmm! I know! *draws a simple hilt of a sword* Ha! It can change into any sword! Brilliant! Now if I could incorporate Sword-Chucks into it... *thinks* I need a plot for it... I could send it to Elzie and Saph but... *glances about* I'll get in trouble if Ditto finds out I was independantly working on games! *looks up at he camera watching him* Crud.... umm... well, I'll pretend he didn't see that. I'll keep this as a secret game for now... then disguise it as a third party game! Ha! Brilliant of me!
Masa: Hmmm... Nichi, it's what's for dinner! Nah.... Nichi makes it possible... *tosses it away* I should have went in another department, or at least had someone to keep me company.
Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
Luigi: Well, what'll we do?
Lupus: I dunno. It's obvious Ditto has no hope for us.
Luigi: Yeah... *sniffle* and I didn't get to do my interview... I had so many good questions...
Lupus: Like...?
Luigi: Hmm... what is your favorite food? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck? Why did the chicken cross the road?
Lupus: 
Luigi: Sheesh, I'm kidding.
Lupus: Sure you are...
Luigi: All right man, let's get working. No way am I gonna be fired by DITTO!
Lupus: Go ahead then.
Luigi: Hmm.... *walks to the trash can* Where'd that get put at...?
Lupus: 
Luigi: Aha! *pulls out the minidisc from Nintendo*
Lupus: Ugh... not that "Banzai Masters" crud again.
Luigi: Come on, it has promise.
Lupus: Nuh uh.
Luigi: Yuh huh.
Lupus: Nuh uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh!!
Luigi: Well, I like it. Have fun with "Jumpman".
*Luigi starts to walk where the computer WOULD be, except...*
Luigi: Darn you Ditto! How can I get info off this disc after he took the computer?!
Lupus: Stinks to be you.
Luigi: *sigh* If only I had a photographic memory...
Vorpal[edit]
Vorpal: Well, at least I have someone to talk to. It was hard coming up with funny and interesting things to do by myself.
Yoshiman: You mean you TRY to make a fool of yourself even when other people aren't watching.
Vorpal: Uh . . .
Phone rings.
Vorpal: *to himself* Wooh! Saved by the bell!
Vorpal picks up the phone.
Vorpal: Moshi Moshi! Hai! Hai! Hai! Hai! Hai? Hai-hai! Bye!
Yoshiman: Who was it?
Vorpal: Don't know, they kept saying "hi."
Yoshiman: Then why'd you reply with "hai?"
Vorpal: What are you talking about?
Yoshiman: Nevermind.
Vorpal: Okay, now let's take a look at these games we got.
Yoshiman: Third Moon Online
Vorpal: Fool of Fighters
Yoshiman: Imperial Reign
Vorpal: and Vorpal's Super Mega Fantastic Adventure!
Yoshiman: Hey! You just made that up right now!
Vorpal: Did not! Look: I got the credits almost done!
Yoshiman: Isn't that supposed to come las-
Vorpal: Executive Producer- Vorpal, Director- Vorpal, Music Director- Vorpal, Art Design Team- Vorpal, Vorpal, and Vorpal, Special Thanks to- Me, Myself and I. . . And players like you! What do you think?
Yoshiman: Uh-
Vorpal: And I have the ending music! *plays badly on keyboard and sings* You'll beee in my heart! Oh, you'll be iiin my hea-
Yoshiman: Oh, would you learn a new chord! That seems to be all you play!
Vorpal: Do not!
Yoshiman: Oh? What else do you play?
Vorpal: Well, I um, . . . I um, can play chopsticks! *starts playing chopsticks*
Yoshiman: STOP! PLEASE!
Lupus[edit]
Lupus: We really need to get our stuff back.
Luigi: But how? You know for a fact that Ditto won’t let us use electricity. He’s the tightest boss I know!
Lupus: You said it.
Ditto: *appears in doorway* Who is the tightest boss you know?
Luigi: The weather’s pretty good today, isn’t it?
Ditto: WHO is the tightest boss you know?
Luigi: Uh… you. Please don’t fire me! I’ll do anything! Pretty please!
Ditto: Never fear, Luigi. For today I am in a happy mood. In fact, I’ll give you back your electricity…
Lupus: You serious?
Ditto: If you get back to work, and give me a character idea that I LIKE by the end of the day.
Luigi: Suits us fine. Hurry up Lupus! You slacker!
Lupus: Wha?
Ditto: I’ll leave you two to your work… *disappears out the door*
Luigi: Now, let’s work together on this one!
Lupus: A few seconds ago you were totally disagreeing with me!
Luigi: You must have something lodged in your head because, as far as I know, I did nothing of the kind! Now, let’s hurry up.
Lupus: Fine, fine.
Luigi: Now... lessee... CopGuy, nope. Brainman and his sidekick Jon Rice, nope. Abdul Bong, perhaps?
Lupus: Abdul Bong?
Luigi: Yeah. He's this super cool character I created.
Lupus: Uh, let's just go with my ideas.
Luigi: What? Inflato the Pocupine? That's way too... how do you say it? ...stupid?
Lupus: But he's cool! He can use his needles to hurt people!
Luigi: Why don't we create a character who doesn't hurt anybody. Maybe we'll create yet another Tetris clone. They won't need weapons there, huh?
Lupus: OK, hm... ok, what about Tetriso, this walking talking Tetris piece who introduces you to a game?
Luigi: Tetriso? So you just add an O to the end of a word and call it a character?
Lupus: Alright, if you want original names, what about Spakkyboopchuck, the wize old wizard who... um... conjures up Tetris pieces and makes them fall? He should be evil!
Luigi: Spakkyboopchuck? Sounds more like a Pokemon than a wizard.
Lupus: Pokemon! That gives me another idea! We could make a game were you collect thingos called Spakkyboopchucks. There should be one called Lupus, the strongest of them all.
Luigi: How nice. 
Lupus: Well, you come up with something then!
Luigi: I did! Abdul Bong!
Lupus: *sigh* It's gonna be a long time until we get our electricity back...
Ditto McCloaker[edit]
Ditto: *on phone* What do you MEAN we can't use Jumpman?!
...uh huh...
...uh huh...
...but I thought...
...no, you said...
...yeah, that's true...
...yeah, that sounds right...
...but I...
...but I...
...yeah, but I...
...but you-
...yeah, but you-
...true...
*hangs up*
Ditto: o.o
Batsu: Is there a problem, McCloaker-san?
Ditto: Hm.. indeed there is. Apparently those papers we signed weren't iron-clad.
Batsu: Hm... the ones written up by... him.
Ditto: Yes... get Fuzzball.
*Batsu summons their crack(ed) janitor, Fuzzball*
Fuzzball: Problem, boss?
Ditto: Uh huh. That contract we signed with Nintendo over Jumpman is faulty. Apparently, our lawyer wrote it up improperly, and it wasn't totally valid with respect to rights. The one written by our company lawyer... the one you reccommended.
Fuzzball: Oh, my cousin Scuzzball!
Ditto: Uh huh. In fact, I had them fax me a copy... if I'm not mistaken, that's crayon.
Fuzzball: *looks it over* Yes, but don't worry. It was black.
Ditto: ... Fuzzball, I'm concerned about your cousin's qualifications. Where did he go to law school?
Fuzzball: Greasy Steve's Upstairs Legal School of Minnesota.
Ditto: o.o Um... Fuzzy... I doubt that's an accredited law school.
Fuzzball: Man, you got that right.
Ditto: o.o But... I thought you said he was one of the best! You told me this guy practically lives at his office!
Fuzzball: That's what I meant. He lives at his office.
Ditto: O.O
OoC: I wasn't mad about the everybody's use of me, Yoshiman. I was making a joke.
Yoshiman[edit]
Ditto: Now we need a different lawyer to renegotiate the contract. . . if at all possible.
Fuzzball: Oh, oh! How about my other cousin Furball?
Ditto: Batsu, stuff Fuzzball in the closet.
Fuzzball: HEY WAIT, DON'T *Gets jammed in the 2' 2' closet.*
Lupus[edit]
Lupus: La dee da, la la dee dee!
Luigi: Whatcha want to do today? I'm sick of work.
Lupus: 25/7 workdays aren't that fun, but they pay heaps. I wonder where Ditto gets that extra hour from.
Luigi: Actually, if I'm not madly mistaken, Ditto hasn't paid us at ALL.
Lupus: ... Uh... I'm sure all the money goes into the company's production. You know. Ditto wouldn't keep money from us.
*Suddenly, there is a loud noise coming from Ditto's office down the hall*
Ditto: Money! Money! Now I can buy that new Gamecube game I've been wanting! Hell, I can buy six hundred copies! Yipee!!
*back in L and L's room*
Luigi: You sure, hey?
Lupus: *changing subject* We should really get to work on Jumpman now. We haven't developed him very much.
*knock knock*
Luigi: Come in!
*Saph appears*
Saph: I couldn't help overhearing you two talk about Jumpman.
Lupus: *whispering to himself* I bet you could.
Saph: Well, I have news. The contract between Nintendo and Nichibutsu was a dud. We can no longer make Jumpman.
Lupus: Great! Just when I'd finished adding his new Spring Loaded Gatling Gun and Portable Racetrack to his sprite!
Saph: What?
Lupus: Nevermind.
Saph: Well, that's great. I expect you've got some work for us?
Luigi: Uh... that's the thing... we put all our effort into Jumpman, you see, and...
Saph: Alright, alright. I get the picture. Just make sure you have something to show us VERY SOON. *she leaves*
Lupus: Oh, man. Why are we always the last to know about these things?
Luigi: Ditto makes announcements over the tele-thingo. He probably "forgot" to tell us.
Lupus: I can't wait until we get our electricity returned.
Ditto McCloaker[edit]
*Ditto, sweating, cradles his phone, and then drums his fingers on the arm of his chair until...*
Ditto: ...That does it.
Batsu: Pardon?
Ditto: We've no choice. I'm going to accept their offer.
Batsu: The offer...?
Ditto: Yes... We had all our hopes pinned on this Jumpman game... we need that character. I'm settling with Nintendo out of court for the rights.
Batsu: ...But sir, does this not mean...?
Ditto: That's right. We're flat broke.
Batsu: ...
*Ditto rises from his chair and marches down to the offices*
Ditto: That's it. Everyone... EMERGENCY MEETING!
*every head peeks fearfully out of their door*
~Later, in the Conference Room~
Ditto: Okay, everyone. I just got off the phone with Nintendo. The Jumpman project is a go. However, this also means that our company has come to the limits of it's startup captital. All the government business loans are going into this. We have no choice. We must have this game completed and have it and the system ready for release IMMEDIATELY. The time for fiddle-faddle is now over. Now... I will go by departments, and see what we have...
*turns to Luigi and Lupus*
Ditto: I'll start with you two. First and foremost... WHAT DO WE HAVE?
Lupus[edit]
Luigi: Well, we got a jumpman with a portable racetrack.
Ditto: You think that's gonna capture the eye of everyone? We need originality!
Lupus: A portable racetrack has been done before?
Ditto: Yes! In... um... Super Racers 64!
Luigi: I don't remember Super Racers 64.
Lupus: Is this just a way of saying a portable racetrack is a bad idea?
Ditto: I... I guess so...
Yoshiman[edit]
Ditto: Yoshiman and Vorpal, what do YOU have in your seconed party company?
Yoshiman: We already have five games and are working on a sixth.
Ditto: Ah. How far along are you?
Vorpal: Past done.
Ditto: O.O I just sent Yoshiman over there five hours ago!!!
Yoshiman: I had to have time to read the C++ Manual! Give me a break!
Ditto: Er, yes, that's very good.
Yoshiman: But we're gonna need to redesign the controller.
Ditto: Don't tell me. . .
Yoshiman: The glove won't fit four or six fingered hands, and we can't design that many buttons on seperate types of controllers.
Ditto: *Sigh* When will they be done?
Yoshiman: I was finishing them up right now.
Ditto: *Slaps face*
Yoshiman: New controller style. Fits from three to eight fingers.
Ditto: Yoshiman. . . WHY-
Vorpal: Hey! I need to tell you my game about me!
Ditto: Huh?
Vorpal: It starts out with this music: (Plays badly on Casio) Babe. . . come in from the cold, and put that coat to rest. . . take a deep breath, and do what you do. . . best, uh something. . . something. . . and fate did arrange for us to meet- I KNOW WHEN YOU DO THAT HOCUS POCUS TO ME. . . THE WAY THAT YOU TOUCH YOU GOT THE POWER TO HEAL. . . IT'S ALMOST UNREAL! IT'S ALMOST-
Ditto: OW! THAT'S ENOUGH! My ears. . .
Vorpal: And then the first cutscene: EVERYBODY WAS Kung-fu fiiiightiiing!
Ditto: Where do you plan to get the money to legally put this music into the game?
Vorpal: Oh, I was going to do it illegally, then file a class action lawsuit to get ownership of all of them.
Ditto: You really believe that'll work?
Vorpal: Yup. My lawyer says so.
Fuzzball: I reccommended it.
Ditto: How'd you get out of the closet?
Scuzzball: Howdy.
Ditto: YOU!
Scuzzball: Gotta fly. *Runs*
Blaine[edit]
A tall man about six foot 1 and half inches entered the building he had a breif case in one had and a mulitool cane in the other with a ring on his right ring finger the stone chaged color with the light that whent though it. He wore a long white lab coat that was made seemingly out of pockets underthat was a white tank top. he also wore black carpenter pants with many pockets and black engineer boots that we polished till the spa4rkeled. he walked to the star well his shuolder lenth dark blue hare bounded a littel bit as he walked keeping this hair in place was a headbnd with a stone just like the one on the ring.Hi's emireld green eyes soarkledwithanitipation. He was soon at the top of the long stair well. He saw that the company that he was going to apply for a job was having a metting so he just leaned against the wall near the door. His name was Areo, yang Techon.
Ditto McCloaker[edit]
Ditto: *sigh* Well... that's five more games than we had to start with... back to our product. Saph? Elzie? What sort of story did you have to wrap around our Jumpman game?
((Editor's Note: Another post is supposed to be here, the next post is from Page 8 (and the only one from Page 8))
Ditto McCloaker[edit]
^ Th' debble? Oh well...
Ditto: Well? What is Jumpman trying to do in this game?
Elzie: Um... he's trying to rescue... um...
Saph: uh... a...
Elzie: Princes- *Saph slaps hand over her mouth*
Saph: ...A Prince! Yeah, that's it!
Ditto and Elzie: o.o?
Saph: Yeah. He's trying to rescue a prince... es. Yeah. Princes. That's it. He has to go through the world and save a bunch of princes.
Ditto: Um... that's... not bad. Not terribly original, but... many folk will respond well to the concept of rescuing males for once. And besides, a story really isn't all THAT important anyway... just something to tell why they're doing everything. It'll work!
Elzie and Saph: *whew*
Ditto: Now, that's pretty basic, so I want you to give me more details that will play into the game later on. Okay... and next, I want to hear from... Hoo boy... VORPAL.
...Hey, where is Vorpal?
~the Teleview screen comes on~
Vorpal: Hi, Ditto. I'll have to play it from... uh.. here.
Masamune: Hee hee. Vorpal's going to get it now...!
Ditto: *sigh* Okay, Vorpal. Let's hear what you... er... have.
Vorpal: Okay. *takes out 1983 Casio keyboard and begins to play badly*
Ditto: That sounds like you're banging it with a rubber chicken.
Vorpal: *turns around* Hm? Oh... uh... *throws away rubber chicken*
Ditto: -_-0 Batsu, fetch me mah firin' stick.
Batsu: Yes, McCloaker-san. *goes to fetch firing stick*
Vorpal: Um... uh... *plays keyboard with fingers, nervously, and even more poorly*
*various chuckles as Vorpal plays a few more notes, and then suddenly stops*
Vorpal: Oh, to heck with it.
~All of a sudden, Vorpal cracks his knuckles and begins to play a masterful variation of Beethoven's 'Fur Elise' on the Casio, only it sounds like Classical Piano, which amazes everyone in the conference room, not to mention sweeping them away in it's absolute beauty~
Vorpal: *finishes* Okay, that's what I had in mind for the 'Game Over' screen. Now, for the first stage, I thought I'd do a slightly updated version of the original Donkey Kong music...
~He stands up, and the camera pans out into the music department to reveal an enormous stage. Vorpal rips off his white shirt to reveal a formal black tux underneath. He undoes his hair, which poofs out all white and frizzy, and takes out a conductor's baton, and steps up to the pulpit. The curtain parts and a floodlight illuminates a 40-piece orchestra~
Vorpal: Okay, guys, just like we did five minutes ago...
*In the conference room, Goom and Ba, dressed as ushers, walk amongst the audience*
Goom: ~To Elzie and Saph~ Programme, ladies?