Story:GMOG Sidequest: ENGLAND???

This is the archive of GMOG Sidequest: ENGLAND???.

Author: Golem

~We join some Gamehikers (Party Goers?) at the Restaurant in the Middle of the Universe...~

Luigi: ~looking at his cell phone~ Ohh no... Masa has made a horrible mistake. He's selling Gamehiker to Satan.

SteveT: Satan is getting ripped off.

Golem: What can we do?

Luigi: We have to DESTROY ENGLAND.

GORE-ILLA: That sounds like a job for BATMAN! ~flexes robotic muscles, whips cape around~

Fred: sniff

SteveT: The system
is down
The system
is down

Luigi: Before we go, it looks like we're missing someone...

Sapphire: I'm not going to be a token female, if that's what you're thinking.

~Luigi grabs a Sapphire plushie from behind the bar.~

Luigi: There we go. Now, it's OFF TO ENGLAND!

SteveT: We'll need to pack some heat.

Golem: I've got three suitcases.

Luigi: That's a start. What's in them?

Golem: ~shrugs~

Author: Masamune

~Meanwhile, in Scotland~

Satan: *appears in a trenchcoat looking like a SPY* So you want to give your site up.

Masamune: *dressed in rags* I can't do it anymore, the site keeps asploding. I don't have the POWER to keep it up anymore.

Satan: This will cost your soul.

Masamune: I know.

Satan: And the members.

Masamune: You mean their personal info?

Satan: Even their bloodtype.

Masamune: I'll get right on it.

~Meanwhiles~

Luigi: We'll have to get a wagon train to get there.

Golem: But this isn't Oregon Goers.

Luigi: Or is it?

Fred: I'm in that OG.

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

Golem: We need a woman's advice. ~pulls string on the back of the Sapphire plushie~

Sapphire plushie: . . .

Golem: Well that was stupid.

Masamune: You guys could totally get a flying wagon train.

~All scream and turn to Masamune.~

Luigi: You did this!

Masamune: Yeah, but I'm replacing the forums. With BETTER forums! I mean, look at all this pointlessly additional stuff you can put down. Like, oh... bloodtypes.

Fred: I sux everyone's blood.

GORE: No I did, I'm Vampire Batman.

Fred: SHUT UP!

Golem: We'll never surrender our bloodtypes!

Masamune: Then I have no choice but to CUT YOU ALL!

~Masamune charges at them. Luigi and Golem run to the side while GORE and Fred continue fighting. SteveT ignores everyone. Masamune spears the Sapphire plushie.~

Golem/Luigi: NOOOOOO!

Masamune: Token females are pointless anyway.

Author: GORE-ILLA

Golem: Where'd Masa go?

Luigi: With these new forums he's now revisiting his old host, he said.

*Elsewhere Masa pins a man to the ground while torching his house wildly.*

Masamune: Justice is balance. You burned down my house and left me for dead. Consider us even.

Guy: Who are you?

Masamune: ...Wrong house. Oh well, your survivors will probably get health benefits or something.

*Elsewhere, GORE and Fred continue their battle. GORE kicks Fred into a stable, but Fred rides out on a fire-breathing horse.*

Fred: There's nothing to fear but undercooked lasagna! (is tasered by GORE) Oh my nipples!

*Golem cradles the broken Sapphire doll.*

Golem: (pulls string) Come on, speak to me... please...

Sapphire Doll: I... l-l-lo-lov- I'm bored. (explodes)

*Golem stuffs the doll into his face and weeps bitterly. Suddenly a time machine drops down and Future Vorpal jumps out.*

SteveT: I was wondering where you were Vorpal. Burritos again?

Future Vorpal: Stop! I hail from the distant future, and I am here to prevent the distant future I came from to prevent!

*Another time machine appears, and Even Futurer Vorpal steps out and shoots Future Vorpal dead.*

Futurer Vorpal: I had to kill him, because while he tried to prevent the future he came from he would accidentally wind up causing it.

*Fred runs past, followed by GORE who rides past atop a giant whale with rockets on its back, swinging around a mace and shouting a battle cry.*

SteveT: Then how the hell are you still alive?

Futurer Vorpal: (opens mouth to speak and explodes)

*The other Gamehikers look over to see Vorpal gaping at the scene near the restroom.*

Masamune: This post be dedicated to the memory of Mattbeard, yarr.

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

Luigi: There's no time for this crap! Any second now Masamune's going to find out that we have personal files locked in Golem's basement. We need to get there first and erase all of our information!

SteveT: I am revealed! ~attacks Sapphire plushie~

Golem: NOOOOOOO!

Vorpal: So you were the villain who villainized us all along!

Luigi: No, it's still Masamune.

Vorpal: But...

Luigi: It's. Still. Masamune.

SteveT: I hate you. Therefore I'll kill you.

~Luigi and SteveT start an epic duel OMG.~

Luigi: Go! Erase the files! I'll hold him off!

Golem: NOOOOOOOO! I won't leave you!

Luigi: Do it for Sapphire!

Golem: Oh, sure.

~Vorpal and Golem race to Golem's house.~

SteveT: Move. I want to kill them.

Luigi: None shall pass. Bring on your thousands, one at a time or all at once. I don't give a d**n.

SteveT: What thousands?

Luigi: Shut up I'm reading. Uh huh... uh huh... Okay, now we have to dance.

SteveT: Just this once.

~Luigi and SteveT riverdance.~

Luigi: You're amazing!

SteveT: I invented River Dance. Tell anyone and I'll kill you.

Luigi: We should probably fight now. We've been waiting for this since that deathmatch *I* won.

SteveT: Rigged.

~Luigi and SteveT lunge at each other.~

Author: Vorpal

*A different Future Vorpal drops from the sky in a very different looking time machine, effectivelly delaying Luigi and SteveT's fight*

Different Future Vorpal: I come from a different future that was created when my previous future selves inadvertently changed the future.

Golem: So... are you gonna try to stop that future from happening, too?

Different Future Vorpal: No, it's a paradise! I just came by to say thanks! *zaps back to the future*

Luigi: What were we doing?

SteveT: Dueling to the death... or thereabouts.

Luigi: Oh! Quite right!

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

~Golem and Vorpal race to Golem's house while Masamune does likewise.~

Golem: We're not fast enough!

Vorpal: Well no wonder. Masamune is obviously riding a vintage motorcycle while we are riding on those automated wheelchairs they show in commercials between daytime television.

Golem: Hooray for rental stores!

Vorpal: No.

~Golem takes his scarf and ties it between two trees that are in Masamune's path. Masamune runs into the scarf and goes flying, landing in the road forty feet away and conveniently in front of Golem and Vorpal, who run over him. As they run over him, however, he slashes their tires.~

Vorpal: Hey, these weren't cheap!

Masamune: Neither is plastic surgery! Or a server!

Golem: Can we go to England yet?

Vorpal: No. You have to burn down your house to get rid of those files while I hold off Masamune much like how Luigi is "holding off" Steve, even though we all know Steve can and will use Luigi as an oilrag.

~Golem nods and runs into his house.~

Golem: Family! Run fleeing from this OG so as to make it look like I cared enough to warn you to leave which I did!

Golem's Family: ~runs fleeing from the OG~

~Golem sets his house on fire, then sniffles as he stands outside and watches.~

Author: Masamune

~Later after Masamune gets bored of the last scene~

Masamune: Please! Satan double-crossed me!

~Elsewhere~

Satan AKA FRYGUY!?: Ahahaha! Nintendo Database is a success!!!

~Backwhere~

Server Guy: Your ENCYCLOPEDIA and FORUMS are vile filth of this earth! Reduce your site to just the gallery! After all, that's all people come for.

King Bowser: Wow. That female from that game is hawt. Or something.

Pokencyclopedia: Stop commenting stupid stuff! DIE!

Server Guy: See?

Masamune: No! I can't accept that! I won't live my life editting stupid comments and adding pictures for all of eternity!

Server Guy: YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!

Masamune: NOOOOOO! *throws server through window* THE LINE MUST BE DRAWN HERE!

~Masamune marches away~

Golem: Wow, that house is burning pretty awesome.

Luigi: Hey Masamune is back.

Masamune: *is marching with a look of DETERMINATION*

Vorpal: Halt! We won't let you end Gamehiker!

Masamune: *holds up a disc* BEHOLD. All of the content of Gamehiker, CONTAINED in this disc. I might transfer it into a new server. On the other hand I might BREAK IT INTO PIECES. Wanna come after me?

Steve: Will my book still get a link?

Masamune: No site, no link.

Steve: Fine then.

Author: Golem

Luigi: Alright, Masa, what do you want us to do to keep you from breaking that disc?

Masamune: You must give me what Satan was going to give me: my own late night talk show.

~Meanwhile, behind a nearby tree...~

Mariorocks: You hear dat, boss? Sounds poifect!

Donkeyman: Perfect indeed... this is a surefire way to get revenge on Masamune for what he did to my family for generations!!

~Back with the others...~

Vorpal: ~stifling chuckles~ You... you want a late night talk show?

~Donkeyman walks into the conversation.~

Donkeyman: ...Did I hear someone ask for a late night talk show?

Masamune: Yeah.

Golem: You gonna give him one?

Donkeyman: Precisely. I am the president of UPN, and we are looking for a hot new face for our late night lineup. Our piratey friend here looks like he can do the job and more than that.

Vorpal: UPN?! ~stifling more chuckles~

Masamune: I'll take it. I'll turn the whole station upside down into something good!!

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Masamune holds a board meeting with Golem, Vorpal, Luigi and Steve T, his only remaining friends, regarding the late-night talk show.*

Vorpal: ...I mean, just think of it! You could be Space Ghost, Steve would be Zorak, Luigi could be Moltar, Golem would be Brak, and I'd be... I'd be... I dunno, Birdman.

Masamune: I already now what I'm doing for the talk show. In fact, this meeting is only being held for insurance purposes.

*Soon, the talk show is filmed.*

Masamune: Hey-ho compadres, and welcome to the Hitchhiker's Guide to Cowboys. And I'm your host, Masamune!

*Everyone cheers and fires their pistols into the air. Several lights fall down from the ceiling and shatter.*

Narrator: Elsewhere...

*Donkeyman is in the bathroom of his penthouse suite, wearing his bathrobe as he washes his face. Some clobbering noises are heard from outside.*

Donkeyman: Mariorocks, quit that infernal racket! (noises continue) Mariorocks! That's it, I'm coming out there.

*Donkeyman walks into the doorway leading from his bathroom to his bedroom, and he sees Mariorocks bound and gagged on the bed.*

Donkeyman: What... what is this?

Fred: (imitating Marirocks) Why coitenly! (smacks Donkeyman into the opposite wall with his mallet)

Donkeyman: Do you know who I am? I'm the king of UPN!

*GORE-ILLA emerges from the shadows and grabs Donkeyman by the neck.*

GORE-ILLA: You accursed swine. What schemes are you up to this time? What do you have to gain from Masamune's late-night cowboy talk show?

Donkeyman: I am a LEGITITMATE businessman! I don't appreciate being handled in such a manner! (kicks him back) You see, eh... GORE...ILLA, I own UPN. My technology built it, my will and the King of Queens keeps it going, and two-thirds of its people work for me whether they know it or not. You can't frighten me with your Batman impersonations.

GORE: I'll be watching you, Donkeyman.

*GORE leaps dramatically from the balcony and jets away. A few minutes later GORE returns, grabs Fred, drags him out to the balcony and jets away again.*

Fred: Was that man my father

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

~Commercial Break~

~Vorpal, Golem, Luigi, and SteveT meet in the men's room.~

Vorpal: Holy crap guys. We should definitely find a way to stop this infernal show from ever showing.

SteveT: ~reading contracts~ Curse Masa and his evil penchant for contracts. No matter what we try to do to stop the show, he can sue us for it.

~Ditto staggers in from the audience. Or maybe Dark Ditto. Let's pretend it's the original Ditto totally not dead yeah?~

Ditto: This show is awesome! Masa finally got that pirate crap out of his system and went to the REAL heroes of the world.

All: Sweatdrop

Vorpal: Well, we could make baseless threats on Donkeyman's life, but GORE and Fred beat us to it.

~GORE and Fred stagger in.~

GORE: I'm very drunk. ~pukes on some very rare painting that shouldn't be hanging there anyway~ Fred, hold my ears.

Fred: I'm am not very not not not very much not nearly so not much drunk. ~throws up on GORE~

Vorpal: Guys, do you mind not blatantly ripping off Family Guy in front of us?

SteveT: What we really need is some imposters to be on the show for us so that Masa doesn't suspect us when we do sabotage said show.

Golem: I've been unusually quiet for the last five minutes. This might be depression because I forgot to take my GBA out of my house before I burned it down. But it's probably 'cause I was devising a plan.

Luigi: I've been unusually quiet because I like to be. In fact, watch this. . . .

~Sapphire walks in (the men's room?!) carrying the mutilated Sapphire plushie.~

Sapphire: Dammit guys, can you go through one OG without horrendously insulting me?

Golem: Hmm...

~HOLY BATMAN FLIP SCREENS, BATMAN!~

~Zoom in on Sapphire dressed like Luigi, complete with fake beard. Pan over to Fred in a (pint-size) suit of armor, GORE wearing Golem's hat and scarf, and Ditto looking like a much too civilized Vorpal. You can imagine what the others look like, then.~

Sapphire: Come on. Put me in the suit of armor, at least.

Golem: No, you're perfect.

Sapphire: . . .

Golem: See, that's what I'm talking about.

Luigi: I don't see it.

Golem: Try not talking.

Luigi: . . . OH! I get it!

Vorpal: Cowboy haters away!

~Vorpal, Golem, Luigi, and Steve smash through a window. Unfortunately for them, it's a 42nd story window.~

Author: Fred

(Fortunately for them, the 42th story ever written was about soft landings and soft pillows on the ground for those who were defenestrated, ever. More importantly, putting the plan into action. Cut to the next day, on Masa`s show, GORE, Fred, Sapphire and Ditto stagger in staggerishly onto stage wearing their ridiculous costumes)

Masa: Guys, good, you`re all here. Luigi, you`re wearing a bit too much makeup but that`s to be expected. It`s MY BIG DAY.

Ditto: Aren`t we all-

Masa: MINE. Golem, you`re weatherman.

GORE: Affirmative, flesh-being. Whoops. I meant, I-

Masa: We know what you meant and that`s why I don`t pay you but instead force you to do work for me. Luigi, you can be co-anchor because you`re a girl and it`s good to be balanced like that and make fun of you during the majority of the screentime.

Sapphire:... (Why am I doing this, again)

Masa: Vorpal, Voooorpal. You`re doing Kowboy`s Korner. It`s got K`s because it`s what the kids want and also one of our sponsors is a white supremist group.

Ditto: Splendid. I`ll teach the children all about the heroes of the West.

Masa: Vorpal? Is something wron-

Fred: Lactose PEZ-rizzle, my liege.

Masa: Right. You. Steve, since creative writing isn`t exactly something that happened in the old west unless you were religious or something, you can do the absoloutely necessary cooking portion of the show.

Fred: Sure, and fer only Megapixels more you dine a beady miakshakes.

Masa: Good man.

(In the crowd, wearing totally unsuspicious cowls and face masks, the original supporters of Masa`s show prepare to sabotage the stage)

Golem: Okay, let`s move move move!

SteveT: I refuse to take your fleshy, pathetic orders. I will give them.

Golem: Then, what do you suggest?

SteveT: I will take my time to suggest what you will do and you will do it if you wish to see your next party, bithday or otherwise.

Vorpal: Wait a second-

Luigi: Can`t we collectively beat you?

SteveT: Sure, if you`d like to lose a few limbs in the process. Let`s move move move!

(grumbling, everyone moves to their places and sabotages what they need to/ strangles a cameraman with a scarf silently in front of a live studio audience. They then return to their seats, but the seats fly down into the floor, far below ground level, and they are all caught in a dark room surrounded by a million UPN stormtroopers)

Donkeyman: And so you`ve fallen into my trap.

Luigi: What, you wanted us to kill your cameramen?

Donkeyman: No, not really, but it was necessary to have you do it in order to bind you in the rules of your terms of service. It`s amazing what you can do with size ½ font and really light grey text.

Vorpal: I thought that was just a line to seperate the last section from the next! And there`s never a number six!

Donkeyman: Number six is not entirely null and void, gentlemen, and you`ve brought it into play quite well. For, any attempt to sabotage the show will be punishable by horrible unnecessary death, or terrible enslaving!

Golem: I`m pretty sure there`s an amendant somewhere tha-

Donkeyman: I am the King of UPN, and soon television! I hold the congress in my front pocket along with my vibrator phone! The ultimate consequence for your actions is that you`re going to go back up there, fix the damage you did, and then use the cameras to shoot the footage for the show you hate so much to be a sucess!

Luigi: Your plot seems needlessly complex.

Donkeyman: That`s because it is! The sole purpose of this is to destroy you all, and bring you to complete and utter misery! You do-gooders sicken me with your parties and your servers and hurting you makes me feel really big, okay? Besides, UPN doesn`t like you either.

SteveT: Well, I don`t know about anyone else, but I`m not interested in not killing Donkeyman brutally, now. I mean, you`re all next, but Donkeyman first.

Donkeyman: Oh, I think not, Steve, for I know the one significant weakness the vast majority of you possess. Release it!

(A huge electromagnet comes out of the wall, taking the vorpal sword, Luigi`s lightsabers, and steve with it, and Golem`s wristwatch or something.)

Golem: Hey, that cost money I think.

(The electromagnet releases everything, and steveT flies to the ground in a clatter.)

SteveT: You`re immeasurably dead.

Donkeyman: I think not. I have money, and magnets, and stormtroopers, and limited edition Movie Mewtwo cards, and UPN, and all that villain jazz. Now work for me. Bring glory and power to UPN and myself by making yourselves miserable and terrified. Oh, and don`t think your other plan hasn`t gone unnoticed. It was hard, but after twenty six consecutive hours of close video inspection, I found that Golem`s scarf is always black, whereas the fake Golem`s is undeniably grey.

Golem: You monster! You`ll never get away with this!

Donkeyman: But I already have. And regardless of whether Masamune`s show is a hit or a failure, I can use it as a springboard to the top! Even higher, anyways. It was a brilliant move to pretend to have my guard down for GORE and the other one.

Vorpal: They`re not bound by the contract, though!

Donkeyman: But if they try anything, because of you, it`s all charged to Masa`s account. In fact, all failings of Masa`s show are owed to me as well as anyone else involved, meaning that I can suck Masa`s money as far as I want into the negatives, simply because he agreed to it! MarioRocks, take them away.

Mariorocks: why coitenly, nyuk nyuk nyuk (ties a cable around them and drags them off)

SteveT: You`re all dead, you hear me? Dead!

Donkeyman: My insurance company covers acts of SteveT, though they`d never be able to afford the payout. That`s why you`ll never kill me - too many owe me favours. Huahahahaha!

(Luigi tries to wriggle out of the ropes)

Mariorocks: Oh, a wise guy, eh? (hits Luigi over the head)

(five minutes from this time, They`re all working the cameras and equipment, humbled and defeated with laser scope lights on the back of their heads "just in case". Unbeknowst to Masa, his show is about to set the stage of a conflict maybe who knows)

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Masamune runs through the hallways of my mind.*

Masamune: Who am I? What am I? Ashley hasn't been born yet.

*Masamune opens a door and sees the Donkeyman there. Then he wakes up in bed, heavily sweating.*

Masamune: Rrrr... (notices window is open and goes to close it) Wait... you?

GORE: You're playing with fire by trusting the Donkeyman.

Fred: I should be a turtle.

GORE: Let's go, Fred. He's had his warning.

Masamune: Hey, he took all my suntan lotion!

*Elsewhere, in the Master Control Room of UPN, Donkeyman surveys his puppets as they walk around.*

Donkeyman: (turns to the wall) You may come from your hiding places, Mrs. Blue and Mr. McCloaker.

*Two guards transform back to their original forms of Ditto and Sapphire.*

Donkeyman: Now may you tell me what you are doing here?

Sapphire: Trying to learn more of your evil scheme!

Donkeyman: It's quite simple, Mrs. Blue. Do you not know of UPN's upcoming merger with the WB, to become the CW?

Ditto: I have heard of it.

Donkeyman: Yes, it is the ratings from Masamune's show that makes it possible. Check out our new line-up for the CW, effective later this month.

*Donkeyman tosses them a clipboard, which they quickly read through.*

Sapphire: Hey... Masamune's show isn't in this schedule!

Donkeyman: That's right. His show will be replaced by late-night reruns of The Batman. It will be the ultimate punishment, to give Masamune all he wanted and then take it away. Speaking of taking things away, I believe it is time for Mariorocks to show you to your dungeon. It is too bad that you are not also bound by my contract.

Ditto: You won't... actually I think you might get away with this. You're really clever.

Sapphire: I knew I should have taken up juggling.

Mariorocks: Why coitenly my master!

*Ditto and Sapphire are tied up and left in the Flying Nuclear Submarine. Ditto takes out a communicator.*

Ditto: (speaks through communicator) Did you hear Donkeyman's rant?

GORE: (over communicator) Crystal clear.

*GORE and Fred are about to board their hang-gliders, only to be shot down by Mariorocks, who is riding the Flying Nuclear Submarine.*

Mariorocks: yuk yuk yuk

*Soon all four of the non-crew members are held on the Flying Nuclear Submarine.*

Fred: Oy that didn't go well.

Ditto: Now what?

Sapphire: I'm reminded of a plan from the original Party Goers....

GORE: I'm fifty percent ear.

*Inside the UPN Command Center, everyone is preparing for Masa's latest talk show. Donkeyman enters.*

Masamune: Ah, Mr. Donkeyman sir! How does it go?

Donkeyman: I just want to see you in your happiness. This is your biggest show ever, after all.

*Donkeyman boards a floating chair and watches with a devious smile.*

*Vorpal, Steve, Luigi and Golem, still broken men all, rest on the balcony before the big show.*

Golem: (checks watch) Guys, we better get goin' to the talk show.

*Everyone nods and walks off except for Vorpal. Vorpal stays there for a while, enchanted by the Flying Nuclear Submarine which displays the message, "Eat at Donkeyman's... For The Rest of Your Life". Suddenly the message changes so that it instead shows Donkeyman's plan.*

Vorpal: What... can it be?

*Inside, the four prisoners have briefly overpowered Mariorocks to control the Flying Nuclear Submarine.*

Vorpal: I can't warn Masa without breaking my contract... (pulls out a mask and smirks) Luckily I know someone who can.

*Everyone gets to their places for the shooting of the big talk show.*

Masamune: (announced by Luigi on the drums) Yippty-yay hey my people! LIVE... from New West Angeleswood... IT'S SHERIFF MASAMUNE'S COWBOY HOUR! I'm Sheriff Masamune. Our first special guest is a close person friend of mine... GOLEM!

*Golem appears on stage and starts spinning plates while balancing them on sticks. Everyone claps and surrounds Golem in a circle. Golem pulls off some wild breakdancing moves without dropping the plates. Donkeyman eats popcorn, but the popcorn looks strangely like the souls of children.*

Donkeyman: Pride goeth before a fall... (guffaws, causing nuns througout the world to grip their hearts in pain)

Masamune: Next we have Steve with Wacky Pet Tricks-

Vorp-Man: (bursts into the studio) I OBJECT! I OBJECT!

Masamune: Vorp-Man, the original Mystery Man? Looks like we have a special guest star. Take a seat.

*Vorp-Man sits down at the coach next to Masamune's desk.*

Masamune: So Vorp-Man, what brings you to the wild west?

Vorp-Man: I'm here to warn you of danger.

Masamune: Why what's that, Vorp-Man?

Vorp-Man: (points up at Donkeyman) Your boss, THE DONKEYMAN! He only used your show to get WB to merge with UPN, and now he's gonna cancel your show after this episode so he can experience your tragedy.

Masamune: (looks hurt) Donkeyman... is this true?

*Donkeyman leaps down from his chair and walks up to Masamune.*

Donkeyman: Do you remember Sir Donkeyman of Brownshire?

Masamune: Yeah, I defeated him during the Middle Ages.

Donkeyman: He was my distant ancestor. What about Commodore Donkeyman?

Masamune: Beat him during the American Revolution.

Donkeyman: My grandfather. And Baron Donkeyman?

Masamune: I took that punk down during World War II.

Donkeyman: He was my father. You see Masamune you've caused my family many troubles and now I'm here to make us even. This will destroy you for as many generations as you have shamed my family. And as I am a legititmate businessman, there is nothing you can do to stop me. Now you will sit down and continue that talk show. I need that last episode for tax purposes.

Masamune: ...Alright.

*Masamune goes for his desk, but then he stares at Steve T and nods. Steve picks up the desk and tosses it straight through the wall. Golem and Luigi stretch out Golem's scarf, which Masa uses to propel himself into the Flying Nuclear Submarine. Mariorocks runs towards Masamune, but Masa kicks him. Mariorocks stumbles and falls from the Flying Nuclear Submarine.*

Mariorocks: Why coitenlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...

*Masamune quickly takes control of the Flying Nuclear Submarine and drives towards the UPN building.*

Donkeyman: No... my insurance doesn't cover Flying Nuclear Submarine crashes! I'll be ruined! I swear revenge on you all... ESPECIALLY YOU MASAMUNE! ...AND YOU TOO, VORP-MAN, WHOEVER YOU REALLY ARE! I'LL MAKE YOUR EXISTENCE A LIVING HELL!

*The Flying Nuclear Submarine crashes, destroying the UPN Command Center in a giant fireball. The OGers all manage to survive unharmed, and they search the wreckage for Donkeyman's body. They are in the first floor, the only floor that is still intact but unstable, only held together by a bunch of pillars.*

Vorp-Man: Anything?

SteveT: Nothing.

Masamune: Well dudes, I'd say that's pretty much a wrap.

Fred: Cowabunga?

GORE: Cowabunga.

Ditto: Yeah!

The Gamehikers: (put hands together) COWABUNGA! (Sapphire only sighs)

*At that moment a roar is heard as a hand rises from the wreckage. The Donkeyman rises, his business suit gone. He has become giant and muscular, and the radiation from the submarine has turned his hair white, but with some black in it.*

Golem: He's a Super Donkeyman!

Luigi: Great! Now what are we supposed to do?

*The Gamehikers all attempt to dodge the Super Donkeyman, who thrashes wildly about while accidentally breaking some pillars.*

Fred: She can't take much more, captain! Not with all the wreckage above!

Masamune: DONKEYMAN, YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO REASON! YOU'RE GONNA DESTROY US ALL!

Super Donkeyman: THEN SO BE IT! (slaps Masamune to the side)

Vorp-Man: (checks Masa) You okay?

*Super Donkeyman eats another pillar, and the entire room begins shaking.*

Golem: It's all coming down!

Luigi: Watch your head guys! Do a barrel roll!

Sapphire: We're pancakes!

Fred: A true OGers is a master of himself and his environment, and the National Geographic Channel. So don't forget, we're Gamehikers!

*The entire place collapses. Luckily the Gamehikers survive as they are washed to the nearby shore by an underwater river.*

Masamune: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Man, I love being a Gamehiker.

GORE: Too bad Donkeyman can't say that.

*Donkeyman's hand starts to rise from the wreckage...*

Luigi: Wha...?

Sapphire: It can't be...

*The hand slumps over.*

Vorp-Man: Nobody could have survived that.

Masamune: That's the end of the Donkeyman.

Fred: Actually the hand's just a glove.

*The OGers all walk off into the sunset.*

Masamune: I've lost my dream, but I don't feel so bad. Maybe it's because I humiliated a businessman in the meantime. Oh well.

THE END

Starring In Order of Appearance
Luigi of the Pipes
SteveT
Golem
GORE-ILLA
Fred
Sapphire
Satan/FryGuy
Masamune
Donkeyman
Mariorocks
Ditto McCloaker

And featuring...
Super Donkeyman
Vorp-Man

Guest-starring...
Sapphire plushie
Guy
Future Vorpal
Even Futurer Vorpal
Mattbeard
Different Future Vorpal
Golem's Family
Server Guy
King Bowser
Pokencyclopedia

*In a secluded alleyway, Vorp-Man unmasks himself and changes into his Vorpal clothes. He then runs off. The wall changes shape to reveal the Donkeyman.*

Donkeyman: Seeya soon... Vorpal...

TO BE FORESHADOWED