Story:GMOG Sidequest: FRANCE???
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
*We join the Gamehikers (Wiki Goers?) in the Restaurant at the Middle of the Universe.*
Masamune: Alright, ladies! Listen up, and listen good! We need to find the source of this mysterious Fire Emblem artwork- the Nintendo's mythical French press site!
GORE: We'd have to turn France upside down!
Masamune: That's right, pack your bags, it's road trip time!
Fred: Ooh, let's make this Oregon Goers 3: The Chocolatey Filling!
Masamune: No. Fred here, being Canadian and this eight-fifths French, will be our natural guide.
Luiigii: If this is between GMOGs 8 and 9, shouldn't I be dang nasty evil?
GORE: No.
Luiigii: But-
GORE: It's easily explained.
Luiigii: How-
Vorpal: I don't even pretend to be a staff member anymore. ...Hang on, it has been said that a Golem will lead us!
Sapphire: He's been eaten by college. (grabs a Golem plushie from behind bar and pulls the string)
Golem Plushie: ~teehee~ Hark!
Fred: Follow me, frog children! (runs into vacuum of space)
Author: Masamune[edit]
Le Diable: *dressed in a sissy beret and a striped red shirt with tight black pants... and a trenchcoat* Ah, I see. You want those Fire Emblem arts... it will cost you.
French Dude: Anything! I have no sense of personal possession!
Le Diable: Very well. You will bring me... A SHRUBBERY! *poofs into smoke*
French Dude: What! Was that a Monty Python reference.
~A Super Mario Galaxy art floats by~
French Dude: Ah. An art to upload to mine fine site!
Crazy Watermarker Man: NOT SO FAST! *leaps on image and defaces it with a site logo*
French Dude: WHAT!? WHAT IS THIS!? RUINED! *throws it in the air and cries* WHY! WHY NICOLAS SARKOZY!?
~in France Heaven~
Nicolas Sarkozy: I don't much care for you.
~back in France~
French Dude: Alas! I will have to find a way to stop this Watermarker...
~Meanwhile, at the US Airport~
Airport Lady: So... you want to fly on Robot Ninja Cowboy Airlines.
Masamune: Right. That's what I said.
Airport Lady: Sir. You do realize that counts as a Kwest reference and has a 30% upcharge on it, right?
Masamune: Lady. See my pal here?
GORE: *furiously snarls as he carefully tries to pull the background off a Fire Emblem magazine scan*
Airport Lady: Um.
Masamune: I could tell him that there's an artwork of Sanaki in your SPLEEN.
Airport Lady: *swallows* O-okay... no upcharge. Eheh.
~Later, on the plane~
Robot Cowboy Ninjas: *blow eachother away with shuriken-firing six-shooter arm cannons*
Sapphire: You have to love the atmosphere.
Golem Plushie: ~tee hee~
Luiigii: You should've let me threatened the airport lady. I have less regard for life than GORE does.
Masamune: *rolls up newspaper* Are we going to do this? Are we going to have to do this fifty bazillion feet in the air? ARE WE?
Luiigii: *glares... and then looks down* No...
Masamune: Alright. Good.
Fred: Let's play some tunes! *pulls the brake cord on the plane that makes it stop. Yes, just like on a train*
Everyone: FRED!!!!!
Fred: Oh wait, was that a bad thing.
Vorpal: *pauses* ... *looks out window* .... *looks at Fred* Yes. That was a bad thing. A very bad thing.
Author: Director[edit]
*A man fighting in a fighter jet is shooting at a pizza box*
???: TAKE THAT AND THAT AND Oh FRUCKS
*The Pizza box rams him and he begins to fall*
???: CURSE YOU RED BARON!!!!!!!!!!
*He crashes in an open field next to a barnyard*
???: What happened? That movie sequence did not-
Napoleon: Hey is that an Eggplant?
???: Why yes I am.
Napoleon: Care to overthrow the house with me and my animal friends?
Director: Isnt this a book?
Napoleon: No.
Director: Doesnt it take place in Eng-
Napoleon: No.
Director: Sounds like a plan.
*Meanwhile on the airplane*
Snakes: Dude we're on a plane.
Snake 2: Duuuuude
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
Snake 1: Shoutimu!
*The Snakes toss off their cardboard boxes, pull out machine guns and begin blasting wildly around the already rapidly-falling plane. Somehow only the bulletproof OGers are hit by bullets.*
GORE: This is surprisingly painful, like getting candy corn tossed at you.
Masamune: Golem, quick, we need your insight.
Golem Doll: Little Sampson is awesome.
Vorpal: Yes! The Little Sampson maneuver!
*Sapphire wheels out a food cart and knocks over all the Snakes with it. The Gamehikers then collect all of the Snakes' little gyro devices and fly off from the falling plane with them.*
Fred: All according to plan!
GORE: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds...
*A French spirit suddenly appears.*
French Spirit: I am the Ghost of France Past and I've come for exposition. The reason the artworks are so hard to find is because they've been hit by France-Space bombs. The France-Space Bombs teleport artwork to France-Space, to be processed by the French Prime Minister.
Luiigii: I want to be evil again now! I just want to!
Author: Fred[edit]
Masamune: Stop wanting to be evil. And we're not interested in your religion. (ghost disappears.)
Vorpal: I think he might have had something to say. Wait, why am I the most balanced character in this story?
GORE: Where do you guys want to land? I could sure go for some bread and water and nothing else.
Sapphire: Let's ask the Golem doll. It's the only way to decide this without stupidity.
Fred: It's a bomb don't do it
Golem doll: I think it'd be nice if you stopped pulling there. ~teehee~
Fred: Nice he said Nice we're going to Nice Brice de Nice is a movie set in Nice
Luigi: I don't want to go to a nice place I want to go to a dark evil place
Fred: It's not nice it's Nice you grammarphone
Luigi: Excuse me
Masamune: No one pronounces my name right, either.
Fred:Nice. Like niece. Your niece. Who's address I have.
Vorpal: We're at vorproximately vorpal vorpals above the vorpalsphere.
GORE: What's that in Masamunes?
Sapphire: If you haven't noticed, we've been doing a lot of falling and not a lot of gliding. And we're headed towards some mountains.
Fred: THIS IS WHERE JESUS WAS BORN I KNOW WHERE WE ARE THIS WAY
(Eventually they all make it to Niece I mean Nice. It's full of beaches and water and extremely expensive property. It's also hot seriously holy crap.)
Fred: HERE WE ARE IN NIECE. (holds up a hot dog) THIS FOREIGN TECHNOLOGY READS MINDS
Vorpal: Where's the capital? The ghost said-
Fred: The Capital's at the North side of the country DUH we're at the south side slumass
GORE: Let's just enjoy this.
Masamune: No! We've got to get those Fire Emblem pictures!
(Suddenly french soldiers with machine guns walk into the city and music starts playing up and squares appear on the ground)
French soldiers: There they are! Those are the Gamehikers! Le Diable has taken over the capital! Long live Le Diable and his huge black dragon, L'hyperion!
GORE: This seems oddly familiar.
Vorpal: Wait, I speak some japanese! Maybe I can communicate with them!
Fred: Good thinking, japanese-franco cooking is its own style! YOU RAPPIN' - SOLID
Author: Nintendofreak[edit]
*Meanwhile in some bar at someplace at sometime in France*
Bartender: Kid! You're not old enough to drink!
Nintendofreak: I am old enough to know how old enough I am
Bartender: Are you old enough to win the fight?
Nintendofreak: The fight is old enough to know that it's old
Bartender: Does the fight's old age make it old enough?
Nintendofreak: The fight's old age is not wether it's old enough in the grand scheme of things
Bartender: Well this conversation makes alot of sence
Nintendofreak: Hold that thought! My spider sences are tingling!
Bartender: Eww
Tingle: RUPEEEEEEES!!!
Nintendofreak: He's right! I have to go to Nice and be an enemy of the Gamehikers!
Bartender: Nice isn't that nice
Nintendofreak: Isn't it Neice?
Bartender: Well then Neice is more like Nephew
Nintendofreak: Dont be stupid! Nephew is in Japan
Bartender: What does ramen noodles have to do with this?
Nintendofreak: They eat raw fish!
Bartender: Racist
Nintendofreak: I'm not racist! In fact I'm raceracist!
*The capital*
Le Diable: Come to me!
Black Chevalier: What?
Le Diable: I need you to go and do some sort of job for me or something
Black Chevalier: Well I heard that the Gamehikers where at Nice Beach
Le Diable: It's pronounced Neice
Black Chevalier: Whatever, I'll go find the Gamehikers and kill some people to raise my badassery level
Le Diable: But you need level 78 badassery to kill a Gamehiker!
Black Chevalier: Yes, but I have cheats!
Le Diable: Thank William Shatner for IGN!
Author: Masamune[edit]
Vorpal: Okay guys. I talked to the soldiers.
Masamune: And?
Vorpal: Well. My Japanese is a little rusty... but one of the soldiers said something along the lines of, "You idiot! This if France! Why are you speaking Japanese? We know English, for God's sake!"
GORE: But what does it all mean?
Fred: Perhaps... it is an invitation.
Sapphire: I dunno. Let's just-
Vorpal: Don't pull that string! We're sick of-
Sapphire: *pulls string*
Vorpal: Damn you woman.
Golem Plushie: Sonic '06 has wonderful load times.
Vorpal: Lies! LIES! I'll destroy it! ~pulls out sword~
WarioFan #??: NOOOOOO!!!! *jumps out of Anti-Space and in the path of Vorpal's sword and is killed*
Vorpal: Oh. Well let that be a lesson.
Masamune: Well clearly these French soldiers are probably going to kill us. Let's surrender.
~the Gamehikers walk towards the French soldiers with their hands up~
French Commander: Oh god! They're raising their hands menacingly to make themselves look larger!
French Soldier: I am scared!
French Commander: So am I!
French Soldier: What do we do!?
French Commander: ... *straightens hat* We handle this like Frenchmen.
French Soldier: Yes. Yes of course.
~The French Commander walks up to the OGers~
Masamune: We just wanted to-
French Commander: Sirs. *falls on knees* WE SURRENDER! DON'T KILL US! TAKE OUR LAND! OUR WOMEN! OUR ART AND CULTURE! JUST SPARE US!!!!
Vorpal: According to my Japanese-to-English dictionary... I have no idea what he just said.
GORE: I think they're surrendering.
Vorpal: Samurai never surrender. Because Japan is awesome.
Sapphire: This isn't Japan!
Golem Plushie: ~tee hee~
Masamune: I say we accept. I could do with some French Women.
Vorpal: Sure.
Luiigii: Okay. Well since the writer just remembered I'm in the group, I'll accept their surrender. ~takes the French Commander's sword~
French Commander: Sir! I give you the lives of my men to command!
Luiigii: Goodie. *turns to the Gamehikers* KILL THE FOREIGN DOGS!
French Army: YAAAAAAR!!! (WE'RE PRETENDING TO BE PIRATES!!!!)
Vorpal: Shall we start running and screaming for our lives?
Masamune: Let's.
~The Gamehikers take off running down the beach~
Author: Luiigii of the Pipes[edit]
Luiigii: For all the times I failed at Fire Emblem... for all the times EVEN A SINGLE PERSON DIED! The first chapter! I couldn't beat the first chapter! And I was in the first chapter! How did I get there? Why was I a tactician? I don't understand! Since when do I wear green robes and no hat?! And why didn't I make out with Lyn? I so would have done that! Maybe! I don't know! I never got the chance because I don't even remember BEING THERE! Intelligent Systems must have wiped my memory or something! No more! No More Fire Emblems! ~waves sword insanely~
Ex-Commander: No one's here.
Luiigii: You are. ~beheads him~ Wait a minute! That's it! I'll invent French Emblem! Where you kill Frenchmen! And command Frenchmen! Who cares which you're doing when? Even I can get motivated to beat a game like that! And none of my people will die because the French will just run away! Or BE French, so who cares anyway! Yes! YES! YESSSSS! ~starts carving a giant grid in the ground with the sword~
Le Diable: ~watching from a pair of magic French doors~ Le frick. Where are Nintendofreak and Black Chevalier? I'd hate to take care of this nut myself.
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
*A magical symbol appears on the floor behind Le Diable as Black Chevalier appears, garbed in his dark and menacing armor.*
Black Chevalier: Right here, le master.
Le Diable: (jumps) Ah! How did you get there so quickly?
Black Chevalier: I warped here using my magnifique powder.
Le Diable: Ah yes, I forgot about that warping powder of your's. Well what are you waiting for? Take care of that mad hobo who has commandeered our forces!
Black Chevalier: Co-ertainly. I have a plan.
*Luiigii and the Frenchmen are still chasing the Gamehikers along the beach of Nice. Suddenly the Black Chevalier warps in in front of Luiigii.*
Luiigii: Halt, men! That must be Batta the Beast. We must undergo a obligatory conversation sequence before we kill him.
Black Chevalier: There is no need for us to battle. I can see it in your eyes. They burn with the flames of a gamer. And like all gamers, you must like to behold the accompanying artwork, do you not?
Luiigii: They're like my Topanga.
Black Chevalier: Heh heh... so tell me, mad hobo gamer, what would you do for any artwork you want?
Luiigii: ...What are you saying?
Black Chevalier: Fight for me, and I can give you any video game artwork you want. Only after the other hikers are thoroughly dead.
Luiigii: Forget it! There's no video game artwork you can give me that will make me throw away my newly found combination of independence, evil and pure insanity!
Black Chevalier: Really? Not even... Mother 3?
*Luiigii twinges.*
Black Chevalier: We have it all in our files (holds up a laptop) Here are the low-res preview images. Lucas. Old Pokey. Kumatora. ...Claus.
*Luiigii begins shaking spasticay.*
Luiigii: Errr... fine! Fine! I'll do it! I was going to kill them anyway! Now this time, I get payment! Now, would you mind getting out of my way? You were kind of getting in the way of the people I was trying to kill.
Black Chevalier: Very well. I shall aid you. For you are essential to France's future.
*Luiigii and Black Chevalier rush side by side, shouting while followed by the legion of Frenchmen. They soon approach the Gamehikers, whom had grown bored after they noticed no one was pursuing them any longer and began to bury Vorpal in the sand.*
Fred: I'll take it to go with a side of chimichungas, Cory Matthews.
Masamune: The fuzz! Cheez it!
Sapphire: But I just finished setting up for perfectly symmetrical tanning!
Vorpal: Guys? Don't forget me!
*GORE reaches into the ground and uproots a giant block of sand with Vorpal's head sticking out. After Sapphire scoops up the Golem doll, they all begin to run.*
Masamune: We have gotten nowhere in the last few posts!
Vorpal: Well we did get some more enemies. ...Although that would seem more like we've taken a few steps backwards...
Author: Luiigii of the Pipes[edit]
~The Gamehikers are suddenly stopped as the Black Chevalier warps right in front of them.~
GORE: Hey that's not cool, man! The Black Knight never--
Black Chevalier: Silence yourself if you wish to live.
Vorpal: ~strapped to GORE's back~ What's going on? Turn around, you woolly oaf! I can't see!
Black Chevalier: Hmm. I wish to speak with the be-shaded one alone. Drop him and you can continue your merry chase scene with my new associate.
Masamune: Never! I have a sword too! We will not leave our own to--
Black Chevalier: ~hands Masamune a file with screen captures from the ending of F-Zero GX~
Masamune: Have fun Vorp! ~runs~
Vorpal: You suck! YOU suck! This whole court sucks!
~Black Chevalier approaches Vorpal and cuts him free from the sand cube as the others flee.~
Black Chevalier: Now let us do battle as only gods may do.
Vorpal: Back off sister. You can't touch this. Or I might just have to break it down!
Black Chevalier: ...That song was from the 90s.
Vorpal: How dare you! ~charges the Black Chevalier~
Black Chevalier: ~repels Vorpal~ Pathetic. I expected better. After all... ~removes his helmet~ I am your father.
~Vorpal is appalled to see that the Black Chevalier is indeed wearing shades just like himself.~
Vorpal: No...that's not true... That's IMPOSSIBLE! I can't have French roots!
Black Chevalier: Search your language options, on sait que pour être vrai.
Vorpal: NOOOOOOOOO! (French for "no")
Author: Fred[edit]
Chevalier Noir: Oui, c'ést la vérite... mon fils.
Vorpal: Subtitles, please?
Chevalier Noir: Saches-tu la langue secrete des Francs?
Vorpal: No, I don't know Frank's secret language-OH MY GOD I SPEAK FRENCH
GORE: That skill takes up like 10 points get Wrath man
Chevalier Noir: Gasp! Un Laguz!
Yoshiman: 'Sup
(Awesome music plays as Yoshiman jumps way past le Chevalier Noir and hits him in the back for no damage)
Chevalier Noir: This amour... je veut dire armour, est blessed by le Goddess since I don't know le forme féminin for Seigneur.
Sephiran: I'm Sephiran guys look at me wahahahaha
Vorpal: Yeah.
(Vorpal moves a bunch of spaces to a glowing couple of squares, hits A, and chooses "run like a little girl".)
Author: Nintendofreak[edit]
*On a road that leads to nice*
Nintendofreak: I'ma barbie girl, in a barbie woooooooorld, made of plastic, it's fantast-*Is run over by motorcycle driven by Director*
Napoleon: I zink 'vou heet somevun'
Director: I don't speak your crazy Mexico language!
Napoleon: I amf not sveaking Svanish!
Director: Either way, you speak strange, stop that!
Nintendofreak slowly gets up: Ouch! Didn't anyone teach you how not to kill somebody?!
Director: I missed that lesson in common sence class
Nintendofreak: Say, yer' a dangerous hell raiser, huh?
Director planting a "kick me" sign on Napoleon: .....Maybe
Nintendofreak: We should join forces!
Director: Why? I already have this French guy with me
*Nintendofreak shoots Napoleon*
Director: Join forces it is!
Nintendofreak: So wad'ya wanna do, partner?
Director: Let's go to Nice and attack hobos!
Nintendofreak: Sounds like a plan!
*Director and Nintendofreak jump on the motorcycle*
Director: It's 3 miles to Nice, we got a full bag of chips, half an idea what we're doing, it's hot, and we're wearing sunglasses
Nintendofreak: Hit it!
*Director hits the gas and the two spead towards Nice to beat up hobos
Author: Kirby of Death[edit]
*Masamune is seen apart from the main group after running with the laptop he was bribed with*
Masamune: Now where'd everyone get to... *scratches the back of his head, but realizes that he's touching a cloth of some sort with something squishy behind it. He grabs hold of it and brings it to the front of him. The squishy clothed thing is none other than the beloved and well-liked by all Kirby of Death!*
KoD: *waves* Hi.
Masamune: Alright, who are you and why were you attached to the back of my head?
KoD: I'll answer those questions in order. 1. I'm the Kirby of Death. 2. I overheard you guys talking about going to France at the restaurant and decided to tag along via the back of your head.
Masamune: *brings KoD closer to his face while narrowing his eyes and then pulls him back while his eyes widen with astonishment* ...The ox dealer, of course! I knew you looked familiar. So, you've been there this whole trip?
KoD: Yup.
Masamune: Even on the plane?
KoD: Yes'r. I bought a ticket with everyone else.
*flashes back to airport scene with DELETED SCENE!*
~Meanwhile, at the US Airport~
Airport Lady: So... you want to fly on Robot Ninja Cowboy Airlines.
Masamune: Right. That's what I said.
Airport Lady: Sir. You do realize that counts as a Kwest reference and has a 30% upcharge on it, right?
Masamune: Lady. See my pal here?
GORE: *furiously snarls as he carefully tries to pull the background off a Fire Emblem magazine scan*
Airport Lady: Um.
Masamune: I could tell him that there's an artwork of Sanaki in your SPLEEN.
Airport Lady: *swallows* O-okay... no upcharge. Eheh.
*the rest of the scene is less refined and looks slightly grainy*
Airport Lady: Alright, so that's 8 tickets to France, then?
Masamune: 8? Are there 8 of us? Whatever, yeah, 8.
*One by one, they present their money and receive their ticket, even KoD while still attached to the back of Masamune's head, but went unnoticed for some reason*
*End Deleted Scene and return to the present... activate*
Masamune: Well, it wasn't due to portals, so I'll let it go.
KoD: Hooray.
Masamune: Now to find the others.
Last edit, I swear.
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
Masamune: Wait, there they are!
*Masamune and KoD turn around to see Vorpal running towards them like a little girl with GORE and Yoshiman in pursuit.*
Masamune: How the hell did you get here, Yoshiman?
Yoshiman: I have a timeshare here!
Sapphire: Fred and I are still here too. And Golem too.
Black Chevalier: I can vouch for that!
*The Black Chevalier drops down and impales the Golem Doll.*
Sapphire: Golem! (cradles Golem doll) Say something, please! (pulls string)
Golem Doll: Litt...le... Sam...son... (combusts)
Black Chevalier: That pathetic blasphemy is gone for good.
Sapphire: You monster!
*Sapphire leaps forward and begins assaulting Black Chevalier furiously with her umbrella. He initially deflects her blows with his sword, Mighty Baguette, but eventually she manages to pass his defenses and knock his helmet off.*
Vorpal: Watch out! He's my Daddy!
Sapphire: No, he's not! That man's... Golem! With sunglasses! And older somehow!
Golem: Curses! You found me out!
GORE: Cool, let's throw a party!
Golem: Shut up! (backhands GORE) I'm not quite the same as the Golem you remember. I am from... the future! This new body I've inhabited disguises my true age. But rest assured, I shall make sure that ridiculously complicated and morally vague plans to save everything does not fail! For that cause, you must all be taken care of.
Fred: You and what Salvation Army?
Golem: While I distracted you with that monologue, the rest of the army has surrounded you completely!
*They look around to see Luiigii and the French army have formed a circle around them.*
Luiigii: Can I kill them now?
Masamune: Alright, mateys! Survive for 8 turns and beat the boss!
Kirby of Death: Wait have I said anything yet.
Author: Director[edit]
???: Please... STOOP- *is punched in the face*
Director: hehe French people
Nintendofreak: Bad to the bone
Director: de ne ne ne
Nintendofreak: Lets rob the bank.
Director: Wicked cool.
*Director drops the bloody pulp that *was* the French guy, and they head to the bank*
Director: So new best friend, have you ever played charade.
Nintendofreak: Im the ten champ of charade.
Director: Wicked cool.
*Suddenly an army man marches into the town*
Lazi: HEIL LUIIGII!
Director: Hale Bob.
Lazi: Grogenstrudle du MARCENCHINE!
Nintendofreak: I'm not liking this guys tune.
Director: Sing me a song of the old world lazi.
*The lazi bops Director and Nintendofreak over the head and drags him to a flying baloon to take them to luiigiis castle prison.*
Author: Golem[edit]
Masamune: ~standing on a stage holding a microphone~ And now to continue our presentation, "The Very Best French Adventure: Featuring the Gamehikers."
GORE-ILLA: ~sipping coffee out of a mug while sitting in a plush chair~ This motif is fantastique.
Fred: WHAT MOTIF
GORE-ILLA: The motif.
Luiigii: ~sitting at a desk~ I concur. It's a French word, you know.
GORE-ILLA: STEP OFF, MAN
Lazi: I don't think this is where we left off.
Golem: That's right, we were about to face off in a game of Vs. Little Samson.
Kirby of Death: ~sitting on Sapphire's head~ ...do we have to?
~Sapphire gets up and starts to clear away the furniture, and the others help her. Let's set everything straight.
On one side: Luiigii and Golem, both clad in armor, as well as the French Army.
On the other: Masamune, Sapphire, Vorpal, GORE-ILLA, Fred, Kirby of Death.~
Golem: Oh. That espresso was delectable. Almost as delectable as this rare screen cap of Expresso in Donkey Kong 64 beta!! ~holds up the image~
GORE: Was there some sort of wordplay between espresso and Expresso there?
Vorpal: Well, he put so much distance between the two words, didn't put emphasis on either, and they aren't even pronounced the same way...
Masamune: That's what I thought at first, but the more you consider it, the two words match up a little too well for it to be just a coincidence.
Vorpal: Well, in that case, I'd say he needs to work on his wordplays. That one was too obscure.
GORE: I don't know about that. He did link the two by saying both were able to be delected.
Kirby of Death: ...maybe there was a reason he brought up the image.
~Luiigii stops himself while his sword is an inch away from Vorpal's face.~
Golem: Join Le Diable and us and you'll have all the images you desire.
GORE: What kind of images are we talk--
Golem: GAME-RELATED IMAGES purely game-related images that are perfectly fine for anyone of any age to view.
Masamune: You would say that... you Frenchman.
Vorpal: Why do you want us on Le Diable's side?
Golem: He traverses time and space to steal rare video game images in defiance of The Council, an organization that is morally apalling. It's a symbolic resistance; the other acts he takes against them are much more serious. The point is, The Council--
~GORE slugs Golem.~
Masamune: We could never join Le Diable's side.
Vorpal: Why not?
Masamune: Luiigii.
Vorpal: Oh yeah good point.
~Luiigii makes a wide horizontal swipe of his sword, releasing from it a wide energy beam that flies at the 'Hikers. Fred clamps down his jaws on the beam, halting it. The others jump over it and Fred lets it go. Masamune, Vorpal, and Fred take Luiigii while Sapphire, GORE, and Kirby of Death take Golem. Take, on, me, take, on, me, take, me, on, take, on, me, I'll be gone in a day or two.~
Fred: NICE PUNCH!
~Fred powers up with the spirits of nieces everywhere and uppercuts Luiigii. As he staggers back, Masamune and Vorpal swing at Luiigii with their swords. He dodges under their swings and jumps back up; as he lands, he creates a small quake that knocks Masa, Vorp, and Fred off their feet.~
Masa: When did you get so strong?
Luiigii: ~squinty eyes~ When I joined the forces of evil.
Vorp: HEAR THAT GOLEM THAT MAKES YOU EVIL
Golem: YEAH SCREW YOURSELF ~Golem doll explodes a little more~
~Fred brings down his mallet on Luiigii, but Luiigii grabs it and tosses it at Sapphire, who deflects it off of her parasol, then Luiigii grabs Fred and swings him into Vorp and Masa, who are unable to avoid the flying Canadian dude.~
French soldier: So,... what do you wanna do?
Another French soldier: I dunno, what do you wanna do?
French soldier: I dunno, what do you wanna do?
Luiigii: Oh, right. ATTACK THEM!
Another French soldier: He's not speaking french.
Luiigii: ~exasperated~ Oh, for--~holds up his sword~--ATTACK! ~the sword flashes a bright light~
~The sword gleams. The French soldiers nod to one another and quickly move in. However, when Luiigii lifted up his sword, the Kirby of Death was able to float by and grab it. He lands on the ground behind Golem.~
Masamune: Quick, Jed, say something!
KoD: Uh...
Gamehikers: ANYTHING NOW PLEASE
KoD: ~holds up the sword~ Uh, do the Macarena! ~the sword flashes a bright light~
~The French soldiers look to one another, shrug, and stop attacking the 'Hikers in order to do the Macarena. Golem tries to grab the sword from KoD, but he rolls away.~
Golem: Gah! We don't need the army anyway! SCARF!
~Golem backhands the air and out of his glove comes a long scarf that whips around Sapphire, GORE, and Fred, trapping them all in its grip. KoD lands on Golem's head and holds the sword up to say something, but Luiigii grabs KoD and rips the sword out of his grip. By this point Fred has chewed himself, Sapphire, and GORE out of the scarf.~
Luiigii: There.
GORE: There's only one way to stop this! Everyone get ready!
Luiigii: ~holds up the sword~ Attack! ~sword flashes~
~At this moment, the six protagonists assemble and punch forward at the sword at once with uncountable power that would make Goku keel over.~
Gamehikers: This attack is from everyone at Gamehiker to you. GAMEHIKE FIST!
~It made a direct hit, chipping the sword.
The French soldiers looked to one another.~
Some other French soldier: So, what do you wanna do?
The French soldier over there: I dunno, what do you wanna do?
Some other French soldier: I dunno, what do you wanna do?
Vorpal: You're done for, LUIIGII! Give yourself up!
Golem: Sleepytime Bomb!
~The chest of Golem's armor springs open and out flies a bomb with a snoozing anime character on it. Luiigii and Golem draw the visors on their armor helmets and the bomb explodes upon impact with Fred's nose, releasing a gas.~
Masa: No... the art...
~The 'Hikers and the French army soon lose consciousness as Luiigii and Golem make their getaway.
The Gamehikers wake up some time later...~
Masa: Damn. Luiigii got away, and we have no leads on the French artwork.
Le Diable: I'm right here. ~floats down~
Masa: Oh. Well still. Luiigii and Sunglasses Golem got away. Oh, before I forget, the last supernatural being I made a deal with had it in for me. You don't have any vendettas against me, do you?
Narrator: And that's the story of how the older, time travelling Golem came to be called S. Golem, so that you can differentiate him from plain ol' Golem, who's normal and supposed to be in this time. Also, plain ol' Golem does not appear in this story. OR DOES HE no he doesn't.
Le Diable: No. I just like shrubs. I never had anything against you, Luiigii just sort of went nuts with that French army.
Vorpal: Luiigii... do you think he'll ever be on the side of good again?
Kirby of Death: Maybe in Opposite Land!
~The Gamehikers have a good laugh at that while Nintendofreak and Director amble on up to them.~
Director: Oh... what did we drink last night?
THE END...