Luiigii of the Pipes

Luiigii of the Pipes
Real Name	Lucas Dude
Aliases	Lucas Hanimar, Luigi of the Pipes, Luiigii of the Stars, Ovenaccident, Luigi of the Jerks, Luigi/Lucas Harripittis, LuigiRok (esp. in early Mariorocks OGs), Luigi of the Roks, Lumei/Loomy (legally distinct names)
Species	Hobo
Birth Year	1982
Occupation	A what?
Origin	Canada
Creator	Luiigii of the Pipes
Debut	MMEDDP3
Relatives	Farmer Jon: Father/Adoptive Uncle ESD: Uncle/Adoptive Father GORE(s): Cousin/Adoptive Brother Rebe Jade: Wife Lucas: Adoptive Son Becky: Adoptive Daughter Ashley: Daughter Dodo: Grandson (GT) Luigi: Great-Grandson (GT)

Luiigii of the Pipes hates you.

Background (v12.0)

As a down-and-out farmer in a world that had largely modernized, Jonathan Dude sought long and hard (that's what she said) for ways to retain his extreme rural methods without having to join an Amish community (as they didn't agree with his purifying). Moving into Canada, he discovered a land secluded within a forest and took it as his own. The fields, though crawling with strange and disturbing mushroom creatures, were difficult to grow, though. Thus he called for a goddess of harvest, who offered to help him in exchange for pleasures of the flesh. Nine months later there was a baby on his doorstep. And he'd had the worst harvest yet.

DNA testing would have proven that the boy was his, but Farmer Jon didn't believe in such things and instead kept him in hopes that a farmhand would turn things around for him. When, at the age of three, Lucas still wasn't able to push a plow, Jon gave up and returned to the United States without him. Unable to take care of himself, Lucas was eventually found by Slort Goomboy. Hearing the 'shroom jabber the word "Hanimar", he assumed it was his own name. When it became clear that there was a communications problem, Slort gave Lucas a transfusion of his Goombeli blood, allowing him to understand Slort's gibberish language, as well as the power to control heat, to generate fire, and increased physical and mental abilities (i.e. telekinesis and telepathy).

Slort gave Lucas a basic education over the next several years as they continued to live in the Forest of the Pipes. He also changed his name to Luiigii of the Pipes because he liked it better. When Luiigii was fourteen, he came upon (the not quite yet EVIL) EVIL Scientist Dude, who had discovered the forest and set up a laboratory there. In the laboratory, ESD had created duplicates of Pokemon, which had gotten loose and became a part of everyday society in the world for at most a year. Luiigii helped him study the Pokemon (meeting Rebe Jade in the process) and was offered apprenticeship, which he accepted. Luiigii learned a considerable bit more from EVIL Scientist Dude. He also received a collection of Star Wars novels which, since his Goombeli abilities allowed him to mimic the Force, persuaded him to think that he was a Jedi and build a laser sword with scrap material. Slort did not care for ESD however and left.

When Luiigii turned eighteen, he left the Forest of the Pipes and entered society. Rather than waste time with a job, he used his survival skills to live on the streets, prompting his appearance as a hobo. Society did not impress Luiigii; rather, it sparked a hatred of humanity in general within him. He frequented the Koopa Bar & Grille, where the proprietor, Jagger, introduced him to Mario Jr., who claimed to be his cousin (possibly confusing him for Luigi Jr.).

Luiigii was also introduced to the bar's waitress, Deijii Brinn. Unlike the rest of humanity, Luiigii fell completely in love with her; they were married within a year. Unfortunately, this was around the same time that the Party Crashers crossed over from Anti-Space. With them came Loogi, who, not having joined the Party Crashers, had nothing better to do than find and humiliate Luiigii in every possible way. He kidnapped Deijii and took her to some bridge. Luiigii and Loogi clashed. During the battle, Deijii fell; Luiigii caught her with his telekinesis, but stopped her too fast and snapped her neck. Enraged, he used his telekinesis to grab Loogi's intestines and pull them up his digestive tract, then swore to never use it again.

Luiigii gave up on his public life, wishing to return to the Forest of the Pipes. Slort conveniently returned with a considerable sum of money he had earned over the past ten years, which they used to convert EVIL Scientist Dude's now abandoned laboratory into their own private town. They stayed there until Luiigii received a letter of application from DigiPen in 2001.

Timeline History

Good Timeline

Luiigii attended DigiPen, but was stuck into the Wyseguise (sidekick) group rather than Plungerheads. He bore through his lessons and graduated, then promptly returned to his life as a hobo.

Luiigii chanced upon Murasame one day and took up his offer to become a minion as they tried to destroy the Gamehikers. Murasame was highly influencial, leading Luiigii to be evil even after he had "died." However, constant failure, severe injury, and rejection by Slort caused Luiigii to rethink his villainous ways. He rebelled against the recently returned Murasame and aided in taking him out permanently, joining the Gamehikers in the process.

Luiigii went with the Gamehikers to investigate Luigi 64's death in Boston after that. He teamed up with the SteveTrio at the time, then went off to fight Don Cornmuffin alone and failed. He is taken in by Dark Ditto, who tries to make him a villain again, even bringing Ashley back from the future. When Luiigii refuses, Dark Ditto goes to kill Ashley and Luiigii takes the hit.

Luiigii reappears in Canada, having been reborn as Luiigii of the Stars. As Luiigii of the Stars, he was willing to use his telekinesis again, but no one would address him as such and he went back to Luiigii of the Pipes by the end. He goes with Masamune and co. to the Heaven-Type Place to stop Tortilla the Hun from baking the Cheesecake of the Gods, but it is made anyway and Dark Ditto eats it, destroying the world (that is to say, GORE-LIGAN'S Island). Luiigii is found in a cave being held by the SteveTrio, but the Gamehikers beat them and Luiigii flees. He faces off with Masamune in an unseen battle and decides to rejoin the group for their final stand. As Ditto's Domain collapses after Dark Ditto's loss, Luiigii decides to stay behind and get reincarnated again, but Slort drags him away.

Some time later, Luiigii accidently kills his future self (with a car), who had traveled back in time one month. Mortality getting the best of him, Luiigii tried to lure Rebe away from Masamune so that he wouldn't die alone. EVIL Scientist Dude kidnapped Rebe and pretended to send her back in time (actually just hiding her and leaving the time machine open), which prompted Luiigii going back in time and getting killed by himself. After some SUPER AWKWARD time travel management, Cobrax disguises himself as Luiigii and gets hit instead, sparing Luiigii's life.

Luiigii decided to randomly angst about Yami's death and inadvertedly brought him back to life, though now Yami desired only to end the Good Timeline. Luiigii was recruited by Farmer Jon to stop him (and got to wear Masamune's hat). When Jon died, Luiigii was recruited by the GCPA along with GORE-ILLA. When Donkeyman shang-haiied the GCPA, Luiigii and GORE-ILLA ditched them in favor of service on the Flying Arabdude. Luiigii was kidnapped by SteveT and changed his mind about the party ship, planning to destroy it along with his old tormentor. After the ship crashed, Luiigii and GORE-ILLA were re-recruited by the GCPA, but only lasted long enough to be shot out of torpedo ports at the Cayken. They ended up on the Flying Monkey locked in battle with ESD and Yami respectively. Luiigii was shot repeatedly by ESD and crippled, then offered an opportunity to help wipe out the Good Timeline. Luiigii did so by killing Golem, who was then used to power a Timeline Bombinator. As the timeline disintegrated around them, Luiigii boarded the Flying Canadiandude as it made its way to the Bad Timeline.

In the Bad Timeline, Luiigii is protected from the other Gamehikers (angry at him for killing Golem) by SteveT, who decides to form a new SteveTrio with him. Meanwhile, the Bad Timeline Luiigii (hence referred to as Luigi) escapes from Lupus's Cheese Star and stumbles upon the Gamehikers. Luigi and Luiigii later engaged each other in an epic battle which ended when Luiigii killing Luigi, just as they made the shift to the Neutral Timeline. There Luiigii was knocked out by Inspector Luigi and captured.

Afterwards the Good Timeline was restored and reset prior to Luiigii's killing of Golem. This time after killing Farmer Jon, he tried to kill EVIL Scientist Dude as well and took over the Flying Monkey. In Gamehiker Member OG IX (I don't feel like counting the exclamation points and question marks right now), he then kidnapped Loogi to serve as his right-hand man in his villainous campaign, which involved traveling into Anti-Space and gathering an army of everyone's evil counterparts.

Luiigii married Rebe Jade some time later and started a family, including twin children Becky and Lucas, and Ashley. Aside from Ashley marrying Masamune, they lived content in the Forest of the Pipes until earth was destroyed in 2065, taking them with it.

To note, in 2030 Straw Man's fiddling with the timeline resulted in Luiigii's ancestor, Lugius Caesar, taking control of Rome back in the early 1700s. This in turn made Luiigii into Emperor Lugius Caesar XIII, the ruler of Rome in the current time period. Like most other humans, he was transformed into a croman so that Straw Man could intimidate him into submission. He is still married to Rebe, though they never adopt their first two children and Ashley has run from a life of imperialism.

Lugius was tasked by Straw Man to kill Santa CLAWS/GRIN-CHEE, but sacrificed himself in the attempt (and STILL didn't kill him). Rebe took over the empire after his death, with help from Sapphire.

Bad Timeline

En route to DigiPen, Luiigii was involved in a traffic accident that took his life. He met the Party Goers in Heaven and helped them reunite Guisseppie's parts, then returned with them to earth and continued his life as a fellow Party Goer. He married Rebe shortly after.

Luiigii's soul was stolen by Lupus along with the rest of the Party Goers, but he managed to escape around 2008 and started his family, until he was recaptured. When the Party Goers returned to their bodies in 2018, Luiigii returned and worked himself back into the family he had lost, but at great cost.

Some time later, Luiigii had a vision of his daughter getting together with Masamune. The thought drove him to insanity, which caused a freak transformation into a goomba. He impersonated Slort and followed Ashley around, trying to remove her from Masamune's company.

Neutral Timeline

Luiigii ignored his invitation to DigiPen and instead forced himself into the Mega Mega Extreme Doki Doki Panik party in 2001 when Ditto McCloaker was looking for a temporary Vice-President. His official title remained in transition until the 9-11 attacks on the World Gaming Center, where Luiigii was fatally wounded and given Inspector Gadget-like gadgets. He unofficially took over operations in the FBI/CIA and became the first Secretary of Homeland Security. In the 2004 election, Luiigii ran against Vorpal after several failed attempts to become President by 'other methods.' He lost and was subsequently fired and chased to Iraq.

Variations

• Newcomer Luiigii

Luiigii's burning passion for Brawl!

Luiigii of the Pipes with alternate color scheme as presented in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

It's Luiigii of the Pipes! His main weapon is a board with a nail in it.

It is at times like these where I wish someone had a Get A Job Final Smash.

Official Taunts:
"Get back here you whore"
"I'm gonna hit you farther"
"Nice try bitch"

• CO Luiigii

Bull Goomba Army
Units: Infantry (including allies) earn an extra 500G when on cities through bumming.
Power: Sauteed Mushrooms - Luigi lights his units on fire. They lose 1 HP per turn, but offense goes up greatly. Fiery units become normal units again if HP drops below 5.
Super Power: Jedi Knights - Infantry and Mechs are equipped with lightsabers, raising attack and allowing them to deflect bullets (but not rounds).
Hit: Nothing, really
Miss: Cold weather
Luigi is probably Canada's sole defense, and sometimes slips himself into the ranks of his infantry. All of his units look like Goombas, but fight completely normal.

An officer in the Bull Goomba army, Luiigii commands several battalions of goombas and works alongside Fred and Naut, the latter of which is obviously just Luiigii in a helmet. He is known as CO Ovenaccident in the Japanese version.

He founds the Bull Goomba army during OG Wars after being awoken to the sound of CO Bomberman and CO Cortez battling. After forming an alliance with Bomberman to defeat Cortez, he and Fred then turn on Bomberman when they find out he's trying to take over their homeland of Canada. Fred questions why there are only two Bull Goomba COs, prompting Luiigii to disguise himself as Naut.

They then regroup at Niagara Falls to defeat the Mongol army, which intends to destroy all of Canada rather than capture it. The Bull Goomba headquarters is destroyed and Luiigii takes the role of HQ. Fearing the worst, he takes on the role of Naut again, though he misuses his CO Power and loses the battle. Before the Mongols and finish them, CO Kantii arrives and the surviving Bull Goombas escape.

• Professor Luiigii

Actually, Professor Luiigii from Gamehiker High University is pretty much the same as the normal Luiigii, except maybe more despondent overall. He teaches Pikminology and has the usual rivalry with Professor GORE.

• Luiigii Noskin

This version of Luiigii from The Party Goers tried to cut out his heart at a tender young age to grant himself immortality like in various mythologies. He accidently stabbed it instead. Fortunately, the knife he used is a direct reference to The Necromancer and he still lived on as a skeleton. He is quite wealthy and lives across the street from Bathhurst.

• Farmer Luiigii

In Harvest Goers '07, Luiigii is the owner of a farm that grows crops and animals used in the cooking of pizzas; he probably cuts out the middle man and makes the pizzas too (to correspond with the author's profession). Luiigii accidentally goes back in time on a time-traveling tractor; unable to return to the present, he goes insane and starts killing the inhabitants of Nothing in order to scare his future self away (reasoning, if he doesn't buy a farm, he never gets on the time-traveling tractor). Luiigii takes the alias of Martha after killing Farmer Jon's wife. He is then sacrificed to the Harvest Demon by a brain-washed Chibi, but his spirit is forced into the Harvest Goddess's body by Death.

In the sequel, Luiigii has stepped into the role of Harvest Goddess all too well, and exploits her powers to the fullest. Driving the town into wasteland despite Golem and Chibi's best efforts, Luiigii is ultimately confronted by Eightch, Thrakun, and the Farmy, though none are able to stop her. Death goes over Luiigii's head and summons Mother Nature and Father Time to deal with Luiigii; they chastise her for not taking advantage of her trip to the past or using her powers for good, though they also show pity for the events that led up to her insanity. In return, they erase Luiigii from existence and put Farmer Jon in his place. Luiigii is then given a second chance with no memory of what has transpired.

Quotes

"They'll never believe us. Guess we'll be sleepin' under the stars tonight, and tomorrow, and the day after that...."
-He really was meant to be a hobo from the beginning.

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*Luigi and Slort break into song. "Easy Street" from the musical "Annie", to be specific.*

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"Oh my god! I went insane and became a goomba! This was completely unexpected!"
-The OGers: Third Generation

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"Dammit! That hurts! Why did I ever have to parody Inigo Montoya!?"
-Luiigii after being stabbed in the chest, Gamehiker Member OG VIII: The Final Parody

See Also

• Louis of the Tubes, his Festivity Attenders counterpart
• Lugius Caesar, his counterpart on The Ennead
• Loogi, his Anti-Space counterpart