Gamehiker Member OG 4 Page 3

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Author: SteveT

~At the Museum~

Liger: Well, it's good to be home. Hey look, we have a message on our machine.

Straw Man: It's from my mom.

SteveT: 02BU, play message

02BU: You have TWO new messages and one old message.

Straw Man: Yes, we know.

02BU: *displays an old woman with a sack over her head* Hi Straw Man. I just wanted to call to tell you that it's my birthday and you forgot it and I hate you and I just wrote you out of my will.

Straw Man: *sniff* That means my hamster died...

Liger and SteveT: *exchange confused expressions*

02BU: eND message message two
*Displays hologram of Dark Ditto*
Good evening, SteveT. We have a new assignment for you. Come to GORE-Illigan island as fast as you can. Oh, and Dark Juno is involved, so you may as well get the flashback over with before you leave. Ta-ta.

End MESSAGE MessaGE 3 no hologram

Help me, SteveT. You're my only hope...TO DESTROY THE FESTIVITY ATTENDERS. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. LONG LIVE MARUSAME!

Liger: *Hits the stop button* I'll get the flashback bombinator...

Straw Man: Those don't exist in this OG

Liger: *Throws Bombinator at SteveT

Flashback- "THE PAST!"

Dark Juno: Our plan is going perfectly to..umm..plan!

SteveT: Indeed. Soon all the world will know that RPGs are better.

Dark Juno: Oh, that reminds me. In your character submission, you mentioned that you weren't born so much as construction. I think you should elaborate more on how you felt about that and how it affected your development, specifically how it led to your involvement with Hrunting. Further, whatever happened to TeevC? How did you attain the power of being made of steel? I also think you should further develop the whole Festivity Attender thing. As they are, they seem like they're just copies of the Party Goers.

SteveT: I'm not revising anything.

Dark Juno: Well, then, I'm afraid I have to reject your character. You're no longer in this story.

SteveT: What?

Dark Juno: Learn. to. read. moron. You. can't. post. in. this. RP. any. more. you. ass. GOD!

Straw Man: Anymore is two words...

Dark Juno: I never approved Straw Man either.

SteveT and Straw Man: *go poof*

End Flashback

SteveT: *opens bombinator and pulls out a character submission that has been ripped in half* So that's that story.

Straw Man: I'm still mad about that myself.

Liger: I'll get the keys...

Author: Mario Jr.

Marin: Wait! Evil geniuses? This crap is getting too serious for me. I'm outtie.

MJ: Wait! We need you!

Marin: Why?

MJ/Masa: Because you're good with the mallet/Because you're nice to look at.

MJ/Marin: (Angry faces)

Masa: Uh... We'll go with the mallet thing.

Marin: *sigh* Oh alright. I'll stick around. But I swear if Masa points that damn pen at me again I'm breaking his arm.

Masa: So you remember everything then? Damn, I need to get my money back.

Slort: (I guess this means we're not married anymore...)

Marin: I have no idea what you just said but I agree.

Vorpal: But if didn't work on Marin, then what about that girl in the forest?

MJ: What girl?

Marin: Oh yeah! That reminds me! Who the hell is Laura Mario and why does she's claim to be the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom.

MJ: Um yeah, well, hey! Don't we have an evil genius to look for?

Marin: You're right. We better get going or we'll be late--what do you take me for MJ!? I want answers and I want them now! ...huh?

(Marin realizes MJ and the others had already out the door.)

Marin: Hey! Wait for me guys!

(Back in the forest, Laura and the cutthroats are still stumbling around like minless idiots.)

Laura: Waitaminute! Everyone.. We have been decieved! There is nothing wrong with us.

(The Cutthroats suddenly snap back to normal, wondering what had just happened. Just then, a samurai riding on a Boshi comes riding in. He takes off his helmet to reveal his his long red hair tied in ponytail and his jade-green eyes.)

Laura: Lord Luigi Jr.! *bows* You have come at last from the Kingdom of New York.

Luigi Jr.: Um... yeah. Something like that.

Author: Mario Jr.

(Inside of the highest tower of dark, dreary fortress, Laura had already shed her clunky black armor and was now standing at the balcony dressed in a delicate white gown that subtly emphasized her womanly curves. Just then, LJ steps in, holding his helmet underneath his arm.)

LJ: So what’s up, Cuz?

Laura: Shshhh! Speak in character. We’re role-players, remember?

LJ: Oh, alright. What be you… wanting… uh?

Laura: … Okay, just talk in your regular voice.

LJ: Cool. Anyways, what were talking about again?

Laura: I called you here because I found some meddlers in the forest. That clone of MJ’s was among them.

LJ: This is so not cool. If MJ finds out you’re still alive he’ll come over here and totally mess up everything we’ve worked so hard to create.

Laura: Yes, MJ will only get in the way the building of our kingdom.

LJ: That too.

Laura: I just spoke with Lord Ditto and he wants us to get rid of the girl. He promises he will reward us handsomely if we are successful.

LJ: Then we can use the money to finally get married!

Laura: … I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.

LJ: Okay.

Laura: Anyways, I obviously can’t go after her myself. She already knows who I am and the OGers will be expecting me to come after her, especially MJ. That’s why I need you to deliver her this mushroom for me.

(Laura opens up her hand to reveal a Poison Mushroom)

Laura: One bite of this and she’ll fall into a deep coma and the OGers will become ensnared in an endless cycle of pointless subplots trying to figure out how to wake her up, thus giving Ditto plenty time to continue his plans as well as giving us time to finish rebuilding the Mushroom Kingdom.

LJ: Sounds kinda dangerous. Are you sure she won’t be harmed? She seemed kinda nice.

Laura: She’ll be fine. Not that she matters anyways since I’m the original.

LJ: Right.

(LJ takes the mushroom and steps out the door. But then he remembers something and pops his head back in.)

LJ: One more thing: Does it count as incest if she’s your clone?

Laura: …

LJ: Just asking.

Laura: Get the hell out of my room.

LJ: Right. *leaves*

Laura: What’s wrong with the males in our family?

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

~The OGers, however, are busy digging through a mountain.~

Masamune: Nope. No evil geniuses here. A rather conspicuous access to some sort of water transportation system, though. And these odd barrels. Can't seem to pry them open.

Vorpal: Yami Yoshi. Use a Dark Egg to blast that barrel open.

Yami Yoshi: I really don't think you should write like that. Only our authors should post with us.

Vorpal: ???

Rebe: While he's on the subject, I've been studying your character for some time, Vorpal. You really should decide whether your real name is Stryke or Hamilton. And how exactly does your sword start on fire? It seems like something you shouldn't JUST be able to do.

Vorpal: Um...

Masamune: Huh. What's with them?

GORE: They've been like that ever since we rescued them from Lupus's clutches.

Masamune: Curious...

~The lights suddenly go off.~

Rhyk: It's Lupus and Fred. I can see them.

Lupus: Crap!

~Lupus and Fred drop to the ground.~

Lupus: Seems as if you've come across our little operation.

Vorpal: What operation?

Lupus: Not telling.

~Marin runs forward and grabs Lupus by the lapels.~

Marin: You're gonna tell. I hate suspense.

Lupus: Fine, pushy! Those barrels are full of maple syrup, just like the stuff I was flooding my office with. I've been slipping it into this convenient water supply from here.

MJ: What's so special about this maple syrup?

Lupus: It turns people into RPers. GOOD RPers.

All: ~horror~

Marin: You're obviously not smart enough to do this yourself. Who's in charge here?

Lupus: What do you mean I'm not-- ~takes a second look at Marin's expression~ I mean... I was hired by a man named Dark Juno.

All: ~gasp~

Marin: How do we stop it?

MJ: Why should we stop it?

All: ~glare~

MJ: Sorry.

Lupus: You can't stop it. I've coupled this waterway with my new Evaporation Ray and Fred's Rain-Making Dance. In just a matter of hours, this stuff will rain down on the entire world. Those who stay inside will be infected later by the equally poisoned water supplies. ~evil grin~ The OGs... and the OGers... are no more.

~Marin slams Lupus against a wall, then turns and does the same to Fred.~

Lupus: Dr. Lupus is not in his office right now... ~faints~

Vorpal: We need a cure. We need it now. Everyone grab a barrel.

GORE: Where are we taking them?

Vorpal: To an old friend of yours...

GORE: I hate it when you do that.

~SteveT, Straw Man, and Lynel are flying the Led Zeppelin to GORE-ILLIGAN's Isle. Several Codtroopers drop from the zeppelin's ceiling and knock out Straw Man and Lynel.~

SteveT: ~swivels his chair around~ Well.

Luigi_64: Sup?

SteveT: You can't be Luigi_64. I saw you die.

~Luigi_64 transforms into Dark Ditto.~

Dark Ditto: You're right. I feel disgusting just having transformed into him in the first place. You OGers never did figure out who killed him, did you?

SteveT: ME!

Dark Ditto: I'm offering you one last chance to resubmit your character form to the Legends of the Alliance, Steve. You really don't want to be around for what's coming next.

SteveT: What? How did you... ~click~ There never really was a Dark Juno. Or at least, the real Dark Juno wouldn't be caught dead in an OG.

Dark Ditto: Very good.

SteveT: I will not be caught up in your RPing schemes, Ditto. I have seen firsthand the evils of RPGs from you yourself. Even I couldn't encourage that.

Dark Ditto: Well. If that's your decision. I suppose you already know that the balloon of a zeppelin contains highly explosive gasses.

SteveT: You'll kill yourself too.

Dark Ditto: ~shrug~ Too late, anyway.

~KER-SPLOSION!~

~The bridge is now covered in flames.~

SteveT: My ride...

~SteveT lunges at Dark Ditto with his axe. Dark Ditto catches the axe in his hands, yanks it away from Steve, and breaks the shaft over his leg. Steve resorts to punches and kicks and the like, but Dark Ditto manages to dodge them all and remains unharmed. A flaming beam falls out of nowhere and crushes Steve.~

SteveT: Agh... Will you have the strength to destroy me?

Dark Ditto: I don't have to kill you, but I don't have to save you either.

~Dark Ditto transforms into a bat and glides away. A minute later, the Led Zeppelin crashes. Straw Man and Lynel drag SteveT out just as it explodes.~

SteveT: I failed... the OGs will be no more.

Lynel: Why do we fall, Steve?

Straw Man: So we can fly.

SteveT: You haven't given up on me.

Straw Man/Lynel: Always/Never.

SteveT: Huh.

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

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