Gamehiker Member OG 5 Page 4

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Author: Luigi of the Pipes

~At the gas station~

Clerk: I cameo!

Vorpal: Shut up and pump our gas.

Clerk: The sign clearly says that you must pump it yourself, jerk.

Masamune: Rebe's been captured by that fool EVIL Scientist Dude. We must hurry to her rescue!

Luigi: What about Ashley?

~Some random playground~

Ashley: Whee!!! ~is pushed on the swings by Lupus and Fred~ You guys are the best!

Lupus: We try.

Fred: I had two red rocks. Then I ate one, so I only had one left...

~At the gas station~

Masamune: That random scene change just proved that she's fine. Let's go.

GM: How are we supposed to find this "EVIL" Scientist Dude anyway?

Vorpal: Well, apparently he's stolen the Doomhikers Underground Lair. All we have to do...

~The Gamehikers look expectantly at the ex-Doomhikers.~

GORE: Some things must stay secret, even if our super-cool club is gone.

Vorpal: ~throttles GORE~

Sapphire: Pssh. It's in Boston.

All: ~gasp~ Rocketsville III!

Sapphire: Whatever.

~DA DA DA DA DA DA DA ROCKETSVILLE III, Doomhikers Underground Lair~

MJ: Dudes, there's two entrances.

GORE: Yeah.

Golem: Y'know, I don't remember which one we always used.

Rhyk: Agreed. My memory provides no insight.

MJ: Easy, easy fellers. I know exactly which door to take.

All: ???

MJ: ~pulls out his sword~ Whichever one leads you to Hell.

All: ~gasp~

Masamune: MJ! What the--

MJ: Oh, don't play dumb. I knew about Wario Jr., and I know that EVIL Scientist Dude put him out of commission, plot inconsistencies or not. Anybody who gets rid of my evil twin is a friend of mine. ~swings his sword across the doors~ Might as well go out with a bang, eh?

Luigi: You bastard.

MJ: Call me what you like, but it won't change the fact that you're about to get your asses served.

~MJ pulls out a red Starman and holds it up for a moment. A pair of shining wings come out of his back. The group charges him, but he holds up the Star Sword and a blinding light flashes forth, blinding and stuff. While they're recovering, MJ runs around and cuts them repeatedly, throwing in a few fiery attacks.~

Masamune: Don't hold back!

~The group attacks in unison, but their strikes bounce off of MJ's invincible body. He throws them away with a wave of fire, then floats up and drops down at Luigi, sword first. All of a sudden, the music stops, as does MJ's flashing wings. Luigi holds up his lightsaber; MJ twists away, but not far enough and impales himself on it.~

MJ: Gyeeeaaaaah!

~The others gather around him.~

Kuria: Hang on, MJ.

MJ: ~coughs~ Guess I should have stayed home after all, eh? Oh well... I've been wanting to die, ever since Marin... ~wheeze~

GM: MJ!

MJ: X_X

~They stand up and turn to the doors.~

Masamune: Blast. He was SUPPOSED to tell us which was the right one in his dying breath.

Vorpal: Let's split up. I'll take Kuria, Sapphire, GORE, GM, and Luigi.

Masamune: Wh-what?! But that leaves me with what's-his-face--

Don Miguel: Hey!

Masamune: Other-what's-his-face--

Cobrax: Excuse.

Masamune: Scrawny boy--

Golem: ~teeh--~ Oh...

Masamune: Scrawny robot--

Rhyk: Beep.

Masamune: And Yami. ~shudders~ I don't even get any women.

Vorpal: DIBBSIES!

Masamune: Aww...

~Vorpal's group runs through the left door before Masamune can complain further. The first room they enter is full of robotic GORE-ILLA clones.~

GORE: No...

Vorpal: Oh man. Makes you feel pretty unoriginal. Let's just sneak for the door and--

~GORE runs over, screaming in primal rage, and punches the nearest GORE clone. The eyes of the other GORE clones turn red and face him.~

Vorpal: RUN!

~They run through the door, Luigi and GORE taking up the rear. A GORE clone catches up just as they reach it.~

Luigi: We won't make it! ~throws his robe open~ Flame on! ~bursts into flames~

GORE: It's CLOBBERIN' time! ~smashes his fists together~

~They beat up the clone. Luigi jumps through the door and waves for GORE, but GORE punches the nearby columns and collapses the ceiling in front of the door. Luigi peers through.~

Luigi: GORE!

GORE: GO!

Luigi: Don't die!

GORE: Great... ~turns to the clones~ You shall not pass!

~Luigi catches up to the group, trying to cross a bridged chasm. A Caykzor hangs above the chasm, throwing cake at anyone who tries to cross.~

Sapphire: Can't we just go AROUND the chasm?

Vorpal: You know what. Shut up.

Kuria: I have a left over Pie Arrow. If I shoot it at the Caykzor, you guys can run across while it's squirming in pain.

Vorpal: That's my woman!

~Kuria fires the Pie Arrow at the Caykzor. Vorpal, GM, Sapphire, and Luigi run across. Kuria starts to run across, but the Caykzor drops suddenly and smashes the bridge. Kuria barely grabs the edge. Luigi, the only one to notice, turns.~

Luigi: Oh crap! Hang on, I'll try to pull you over!

Kuria: No! You have to save your strength! You're going to need it all if you want to defeat EVIL Scientist Dude.

Luigi: I can't leave you hanging! Vorpal will kill me!

Kuria: Do you remember that first time we met? And I fell out of the tree?

Luigi: No.

Kuria: I survived that. I'll survive this. Now fly, you fool!

~Luigi reluctantly turns. Kuria grins feebly and lets go of the ledge, falling into oblivion.~

Kuria: Tell Vorpal...

~Luigi catches up to the group again, but finds that only Sapphire is left.~

Luigi: Where did everyone--?

Sapphire: Through that door. But it closed when I tried to go through.

Luigi: Oh.

Sapphire: There's a computer here. Maybe I can hack into the system and open the doors. ~starts hacking~

Luigi: I didn't know you knew about computers.

Sapphire: Pssh.

~The door slides open. Luigi runs through, then turns around to see that the floor around Sapphire has collapsed.~

Luigi: Hey! Turn into Lady in Red and fly over!

Sapphire: There's no breeze.

Luigi: Then I'll--

Sapphire: No. You need to go and save Rebe.

Luigi: Wh--

Sapphire: I've seen that you care about her. If anyone needs to save her before Masamune, it's you. Now go.

Luigi: Thanks...

~leaves~

Sapphire: Boys... ~sighs as the floor beneath her falls~

~Luigi catches up to the group again (he has a knack for it) and finds them next to a closed door.~

Vorpal: There's only one way in. I'm the biggest, but somehow the only one who can fit through.

GM: Wh--?

Vorpal: It's Vorpal-sized.

~Vorpal slips into the hole that leads to the next room. He walks over to the computer, tries to open the door, then grunts and shoves his sword through the terminal. The ceiling in front of the next door starts sliding down.~

Vorpal: NO! ~shoves his sword between the ceiling and floor, holding it up, then is grabbed from behind and absorbed by a Caykzor~ Who bakes all these?!

~Luigi and GM run in the now-open door. GM slides under the ceiling and goes to the next door, but Luigi notices Vorpal's face sticking out of the Caykzor.~

Luigi: Vorpal! Hang on, I'll...

Vorpal: Don't worry about me. This isn't the first time I've been absorbed by one of these. In fact, I've been rather hungry lately... ~sinks into the Caykzor~

Luigi: Damn! ~runs and slides under the ceiling just as the Vorpal sword collapses, then catches up with GM~

GM: Isn't it kind of odd that we've been losing group members ever since we came in here?

Luigi: I expected it.

GM: I wonder who'll be next... ~eyes Luigi~

~A wall of energy appears in front of them, blocking passage. Another one appears behind, then to each side.~

Luigi: Both of us, I guess.

GM: We're gonna DIE!

Luigi: No! I've seen this type of energy field before. ~walks over to the forward energy field and draws his lightsaber~ If we concentrate our attacks on one spot, it'll open long enough for us to go through.

GM: Yeah, but--

Luigi: What?

GM: Nevermind... ~pulls out Omnipotence~ Ready?

Luigi: Yeah.

~GM fires repeatedly into a single spot on the field, then Luigi shoves his lightsaber into that spot, opening a hole. He slips through the hole, then turns and sees GM crash into the energy field.~

GM: I tried to tell you. I'm not fast enough to get through.

Luigi: Oh.

GM: But that's okay. I honestly didn't want to go anyway. You guys have been nothing but big jerks to me ever since I decided to HELP you. I heard you laughing about my movie behind my--

Luigi: We never!

GM: JUST GO!

~Luigi turns and runs, grumbling.~

GM: Take care...

~Luigi enters the next room and sees a long bridge, with arrow launchers on either side.~

Luigi: Crap. I'll have to run fast.

~Luigi runs past the arrows and across the bridge, but is shot by a hidden arrow launcher right in front of him, groans, and collapses. He picks himself a moment later and pulls the arrow out, along with Rebe's locket which he somehow got when you didn't see it.~

Luigi: Huh. You saved me too...

~Luigi looks for a door, but finds none. A sword is stuck in the wall, however, so he pulls it out. The door magically appears.~

Luigi: Fancy that. ~enters~

~Through the door, Luigi comes upon a most marvelous sight. EVIL Scientist Dude's Chocolate Factory. Only not. Instead, it's a small room with only the time machine in the center and a note. He picks it up.~

Luigi: "Dear Good Guys. I sent the girl back to the time that this OG started. I'm talking to you, hobo guy. If you want her, you'll go back in time. Hugs and Kisses, EVIL Scientist Dude." Crap. ~checks calender~ Double crap. My birthday was yesterday. Well, if it means saving Rebe... ~steps into the time machine and goes back to the start of the OG~

EVIL Scientist Dude: ~sneaks out from behind his hiding place~ MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The hobo will die! And I... WILL RULE... THE WORLD!

~A bullet flies past his ear.~

GM: Not so fast!

~EVIL Scientist Dude turns to see Vorpal's and Masamune's group facing him, sans Masamune himself.~

Vorpal: We got past your pathetic little traps, EVIL Scientist Dude, if only because we're not this author's characters so he can't kill us off!

EVIL Scientist Dude: But... how?

Masamune: ~walks in~ You'll never guess who helped us.

~MJ limps in.~

EVIL Scientist Dude: What?! They were supposed to kill you!

MJ: I changed my mind. Extra lives, baby.

EVIL Scientist Dude: This... SHALL NOT... BE TOLERATED!

~The room shakes as EVIL Scientist Dude sinks beneath the floor. He comes back up riding in a giant mechanical suit shaped like a monkey, with dozens of mechanical tentacles and noxious fumes seeping out of vents on its body.~

EVIL Scientist Dude: Now you face... the Island Beast! THE GIANT MAPINGUARI!

Author: Mario Jr.

MJ: Uh no. *wanders off*

EVIL Scientist Dude: Whaa...? You can't just leave!

MJ: Oh yeah! Bite me. *flees*

EVIL Scientist Dude: Son of a--

(Tiffa and Marin walk in.)

Tiffa: *sniffs air* MJ was just here.

Marin: Would you make up your mind already? Are you after MJ or Cobrax?

Tiffa: Well Cobrax doesn't give off a scent... oddly enough.

Marin: THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S A MACHINE!

Tiffa: A sex machine is more like it! (grins)

Marin: Cobrax propbably doesn't even have the equipment to even--

EVIL Scientist Dude: SILENCE! What are you two doing wandering about my lair?

Marin: Um, we were just leaving...

Tiffa: Have you seen MJ? He's about yea high, kind stocky looking, wears a red tench and hat.

Marin: Tiffa!

EVIL Scientist Dude: So you two are associated with MJ? *clears throat* Now you face... the Island Beast! THE GIANT MAPINGUARI!

Marin: Ah, crap.

TIffa: *takes out staff* Bring it!

Author: Masamune

~One Week Ago~

Luigi (Week Future): Rebe! REBE! Where are you!?

~people all stare~

Luigi: REBE! *runs in front of a car and gets hit and dies*

~the person inside the car gets out~

Luigi (Year Future): Oh God, I just killed myself! Nooo! *runs out in front of another car*

~the person comes out of that car~

Luigi (Present): Oh my.

~Later...~

Luigi: Sir?

Policeman: Do you have a twin, sir?

Luigi: Not in this OG.

Policeman: A brother who looks really similar? Maybe someone you know who would dress up like you?

Luigi: Not in this OG... why?

Policeman: Step out of the car, please.

~Luigi gets out. The policeman leads him over to the victim.~

Luigi: Wait...

Policeman: Anyone you know?

Luigi: That's me.

Policeman: It would seem, except for the possibility. ~calls his chief and explains~ Sir, this is going to seriously bog down the system. We're going to run some DNA tests and figure out who this is.

Luigi: It's me.

Policeman: We'll need to keep you at the station.

Luigi: Oh.

~Hours later~

Scientist: It's impossible. The tests claim that both of these men are Mr. Lucas Hanimar.

Holistic Detective: I couldn't wrap my head around it, so I've called in an expert.

Young Boy: He'd need a bloody time machine.

Holistic Detective: There you have it.

Scientist: I hate to admit it...

Holistic Detective: So guy goes back in time and gets killed by himself. Pretty sad way to go. We should tell him how much time he's got left.

Scientist: Couldn't he just not go back in time and prevent it?

Holistic Detective: Oh, he'll go back in time. You can't change the past... or the future. How much time does he got?

Scientist: . . . one year.

~Luigi walks away glumly~

Scientist: He bought it.

Holistic Detective: Good, now pay me. I don't like making up crap.

Luigi (Week Future): But the me from 51 weeks in the future died, even if you saved me.

Scientist: Well yeah, it's still too early in the OG to explain that.

Luigi (Week Future): Okay... *leaves*

~At a nearby race track, still in the past~

Rebe (Week past): I'm putting a hundred on Lucky Joe.

Clerk: Lucky Joe never wins, why with the odds against him... you could walk out with a million dollars somehow I won't bother to explain.

Rebe: I guess that makes me a millionaire.

~Luigi runs in~

Luigi: What's this? *pulls out a betting ticket*

Rebe: An honest bet.

Luigi: *pulls out SPORTS SECTION OF LAST WEEK* Rebe! Do you know what you're doing! You could alter the space time continuum, causing drastic changes and causing a paradox!

Rebe: Hey, I just wanted to make a little extra money.

Luigi: I did NOT *rips up sports section* go through time so you could abuse it!

Rebe: It's not like I didn't have a week to kill. What are YOU planning to do until we catch up with time.

Luigi: *whips out Carbonite Gun* Got this off Wario Jr. I'll set it for a week, but first let's infiltrate the Doomhiker base. ~they both leave~

Canadian Dude: *pulls ripped up Sports section from trash* This could come in handy. *dun dun DUN*

~one week later, back in Doomhiker Base~

EVIL Scientist Dude: Hahaha... Mapinguari, what a name...

Masamune: You won't get away with this!

EVIL Scientist Dude: Why?

Masamune: Well the last four villains in the last GMOGs didn't.

EVIL Scientist Dude: ... shut up! *a tentacle lashes out at Golem*

~Masamune and Vorpal run out with their sword and start chopping tentacles off~

Don Miguel: Quickly! Into the mines!

GM: What mines?

Don Miguel: *shrugs* It felt vaguely appropriate for the scene.

Tiffa: *is being thrown around the tentacles* I think... I'm... getting motion sickness.

Masamune: Eww.

EVIL Scientist Dude: You can't stop me!

GORE: Wanna bet! *jumps up and starts beating on the window that covers EVIL Scientist Dude*

EVIL Scientist Dude: Think again, I developed this machine to be invincible. Nothing any of you can do can have an effect.

~But just then~

Luigi: *walks out from a high ledge* Not so fast. *pauses* .... hey, who turned out the lights.

Rebe: It is kinda dark.

Masamune: The lights ARE on *dodges tentacle*.

Luigi: Crap! We have Carbonite Sickness, we'll be blind for the rest of this scene!

Rebe: Way to go genius. I picked this over a million dollars.

~suddenly a tentacle grabs Rebe~

Luigi: Nooooooo!!!!

~suddenly a mental image of Slort appears~

Slort: [Use the Force, Luigi. Stretch out with your feelings, your eyes can deceive you.]

Luigi: I'm blind, I can't read brackets.

Slort: *sighs* Ugno Igba Agba. *vanishes*

Luigi: OH. OH YEAH! *wraps a bandana around his eyes pointlessly and gets in tune with the Force*

~a tentacle heads towards Luigi, he deftly dodges it and hits it with his lightsaber~

Masamune: Yeah, real impressive. But that won't work.

~a mental image of Kermit appears~

Kermit: Luigi. It's not how big your problem is. It's how big what's inside that counts. C'mon guys, let's sing it to 'em.

Muppets: You can overcome anything...
When you use the FORCE TO KICK BUTT.
I mean, you can overcome anything...
When you're with your friends-

Luigi: I uh, get the point. ~the muppets vanish~

EVIL Scientist Dude: How can a blind guy be so hard to hit!?

~Luigi stretches out his hand and the Giant Mapinguari begins to rise in the air~

Marin: Hey! I didn't get any action scenes yet!

EVIL Scientist Dude: No! Wait! Listen, Luigi. We can be partners. I build the machines, you guard them. We split the money. Come on!

Luigi: If you'll do the honors, GORE.

~GORE-ILLA winds up his fist DK style and punches the Giant Mapinguari into the sky~

EVIL Scientist Dude: THIS ISN'T THE END OF ME! *vanishes into the sky with a little sparkle*

Luigi: Well I guess this OG is about over.

Masamune: They just get shorter and shorter.

Zambi: GMOG sucks. I mean, urgh, brainsssss....

~nobody gasps~

Vorpal: I get dibs on the ending.

????: I'll take dibs, actually.

GORE: (Great, another villain. How predictable)

~the figure steps out~

Alphie: I will protect... my father. *takes fighting pose*

Masamune: Haha, a little kid. I'll make short work of this. *walks up casually to the kid*

Alphie: Resistance is futile. *grabs Masamune by the arm and swings him across the room*

Masamune: Ow... Masamune take... a little nap... *passes out*

Vorpal: Can you see yet, Luigi?

Luigi: Probably, but this is more dramatic having the bandana over my eyes. Before we fight, come here Rebe. *pulls Zambi in for kiss*

Zambi: o_o

Rebe: Luigi, umm. That wasn't...

Luigi: What?

Rebe: Nothing.

Alphie: Surrender now. *advances*

Author: Vorpal

Alphie: *takes another step forward* Is there no Gamehiker brave enough to challenge me? I am impervious to all who oppose me!

Vorpal: Not so fast! *stands in a cool pose with cape fluttering about*

Alphie: You challenge me, Gamehiker?

Vorpal: Sure! *runs up and rams Alphie, sending him several steps back.... into the time gate!*

Alphie: Nooooo!

Vorpal: Well... that takes care of him.

Kuria: Uhm... Vorpal?

Vorpal: What is it, sweetie?

Kuria: That just sends him into the past a week ago! He could be back any minute!

Vorpal: Oh...

Everyone: *waits*

~Several hours later~

Luigi: Do you think he's coming back?

Masa: I dunno... I'm kinda confused, myself.

Sapphire: This certainly makes for an anti climatic ending...

~Back in the past~

Alphie: Stupid Gamehikers sending me into the past... well I'll show them! I'll show them all! Outta my way! *pushes Luigi (Year Future) out of the way then gets run over by a car*

Author: Mario Jr.

~Some time later, the police, an ambulence, and, for the hell of it, a squad of fire fighters pull up. A policeman walks up to the car. (The recently redubbed) Luigi of the Pipes rolls his window down and peers up, a painfully guilty expression on his face. The policeman shakes his head.~

Luigi (past self): Sir?

Policeman: It was a child.

Luigi (past self): I didn't see him coming. He came out of nowhere.

Policeman: I know. It happens.

Luigi: How old?

Policeman: Couldn't be a day older than 12, looks like.

Luigi (past self): Is he... okay?

Policeman: His body is severed in several places and his neck seems to be twisted completely around. There's no way he could've made it.

Luigi (past self): Can I... see him?

(The Policeman knods and Luigi steps out the car. The policeman was right. It was a gory mess. Something was eerily familar about the child. Something about his eyes reminded him of MJ and his filled with mixed feelings of disgust and sympathy for the poor child.)

Luigi (future week): Wait. It wasn't supposed to happen this way.

Luigi (future 51 weeks): You're telling me!

(Luigi from the future week did a double take and the two future Luigi's exchanged glances.)

Rebe: Okay that's interesting and all but we better go find a way back to the future.

(Suddenly, there came a strange crackling noise from the crash scene. Like the the all too eerily familar sound of bones snapping and rearranging themselves. The two Luigi's and Rebe turn around just in time to see the policeman get snapped in two by a newly rejuvenated Alphie. His eyes resonated with a golden light as the CaykForce coused through his veins, rapidly restoring his superhuman strength. Past Luigi started to back away quietly but Alphie caught him into his powerful hold a hold began to to strangle him. The police try to open fire but their bullets didn't seem to make a dent in the boy.)

Rebe: Are you guys crazy!? You'd shoot Luigi!

Luigi (future week): Um Rebe...

(Rebe turned around in time to see her beloved begin to fade away.

Rebe: Luigi! No!

(Past Luigi tries using his Jedi powers to break free but they didn't seem to be working on the boy. He tried set the boy on fire. He didn't even so much as simmer. He wasn't human! His eyes... He must have the power of the Cheesecake of the Gods within him! As Alphie swung back his arm a large razor fin emerged and his used it to cut through Luigi's chest, causing a simultaneous scream to echo from all three Luigi's. And he continued to hack away, gutting the Jedi out like a fish with the precision of a surgeon and the gung ho that you‘d expect from a child his age. When Alphie was done with him, he bashes Luigi's head open against the car and tossed him to the curb like a rag doll. And just like that Future Week Luigi vanishes completely but not mouthing out one final goodbye...)

Rebe: *tear-stricken* Luigi! NOOOOO!!!! Huh? Wait a minute? Why are you still here?

Luigi (Future 51 Weeks): I guess it takes a bit longer for the ripple effect to catch up with me. But I doubt I have much time either. Quick! I know how to stop this from happening.

Rebe: How?

Luigi (Future 51 Weeks): We have to stop MJ and his family from leaving earth. It was his own negleciance that set up a chain of tangent events that lead up to this tragedy. If we can convince them to stay, his son would have never been kidnapped and turned into that horrid creature!

Rebe: How do you know this?

Luigi: The first time around MJ didn't step through that Pipe. He stayed. He OGed with us. And he became a respectable OGer like the rest of us. But something went wrong. I crashed into my future self. I was so depressed and angsty for a week that when it came to MJ's short-notice departure, I guess I didn't talk him out of it like I should have. Hurry now! We must make posthaste. WE need to get to Yami's house and talk him out of it.

(Before Rebe had time to respond, she’s taken by hand and whisked away from the slaughtering that was going on behind them.)

_________________________

(Back in the future…)

MJ: Now, to find my son. If I was an experimented-on baby, where would I hide?

(MJ suddenly cringes when he felt a cold shaft brush up beside him.)

MJ: Gods! Haven't these people heard of of heater!?

???: Don't worry, MJ. I'll make it nice and hot for ya!

(MJ turns around only to find no one was there. He was scared, but in spite of himself, a sly smirk crept across his face.)

MJ: Wally?

(WJ steps out reluctantly from the shadows.)

WJ: Tch! I hate that name...

MJ: It IS you? What, did hell spit you back out? What the hell are you doing still alive?

WJ: We still have a score to settle, you and I.

MJ: I thought we settled it already. I won and you died.

WJ: Death is but a doorway. Even you know full well that not everything stays dead forever. You have your extra lives.... and your sister...

MJ: You leave her out of this! *whips out sword*

WJ: Oh? Going to kill me with your shiny little stick again? You and I both know you don't have it takes to wield that sword. You got lucky last time, Son of Mario!

(WJ lunges at MJ violently. MJ freaks out and holds up his sword in front of him as he looks away, eyes tight shut. When he hears a yucky squishing sound followed by a sudden gasp, he opens up his eyes to see WJ stare down at him, wide in disbelief. MJ looked down to see that sword had plunged deep into WJ’s chest all the way to the hilt.)

WJ: Son of a… *head droops*

MJ: *sighs* Finally…

WJ: *looks up* GOTCHA!

MJ: GAH! *jumps back* That should’ve killed you!

WJ: If that silly butter knife of yours didn’t kill me the first time, it’s not going to kill me now!

(WJ backhands MJ, sending him flying into a nearby cell.)

MJ: What do you want from me?

WJ: What do I want? WHAT DO I WANT!? All my life all I wanted was to be just like you. I admired you. Wealth. Fame. It just wasn’t enough for me. But you always seemed happy no matter what life gave you. You faced every obstacle in your way with smile on your face so bright you made the sun jealous. And all throughout the Mushroom World,, people were naturally drawn to you. Not because you were the Son of Mario. Because there was just something about you deep inside that made people want to be around you. And if I couldn’t have it then no one could!

(WJ picks MJ off the floor and pins him to against the wall.)

WJ: Don’t you get it Son of Mario? I want YOU.

MJ: Buh? Wait… huh?

(To MJ’s complete and utter shock, WJ forces himself onto him and caught the clueless MJ in a kiss. Then WJ jumped back a few steps, lest he be bitten by a now pissed off MJ. MJ didn’t even realized he had been been kissed until he realized he had the all-too familiar familiar feeling you get when you have someone’s else’s saliva in your mouth for the for the first time.)

MJ: …WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?

WJ: Was it as good for you as it was for me? I think I felt the earth move.

MJ: What the frak, Wally!? You’re supposed to be my bitter enemy, not ramming your tongue down my throat!

WJ: How dare you! I didn’t use tongue. But I can if you want.

MJ: *growls* You’re really starting to get on my nerves!

WJ: Oh, don’t be in such denial MJ. You know you want me. I am the darkness within you. I’m everything you’re too afraid to be. You can never get rid of me. Embrace me, MJ. IT is your detiny.

MJ: Hmmm.. How about… no. *walks away*

WJ: Oh c’mon!

MJ: What’s that weird light?

WJ: I dunno…

__________________________

Vorpal: Um were did Luigi and Rebe go?

Marin: They were here a second ago…

Tiffa: Ooo… pretty light!

Masa: What the hell IS that!?

__________________________

(Past MJ lies unconscious on the Yami’s lawn as future 51 weeks Luigi hovers over him, massaging his fist. The rest of the party guest gather around them in bewilderment.)

Rebe: That was your great plan?

Luigi: Yup.

Rebe: Who knew you could still pack a punch.

Luigi: Well, it was MJ and I felt no need to waste my JedI powers on him.

Rebe: I see. Do you think it’s enough to change the future?

Luigi: We’ll see. Look, he’s coming to.

MJ (Past): *groans* Weegie?

Luigi: Glad you’re back among the coherent. Don’t go to the Mushroom Kingdom.

MJ (Past): Er, okay?

(Future 1 Week Luigi appears out of nowhere.)

Rebe: It worked!

Luigi (Future 1 Week): That was interesting…

Rebe: Luigi! You’re back!

Luigi (Future 51 Weeks): Great. I guess it’s back to being road kill. *vanishes*

(Future 1 Week Luigi and Rebe vanish too, back to their original times)

MJ: Um, could someone tell me what the frak is going on!?

(MJ’s attention is suddenly turn to towards the sound of a baby crying.)

MJ: Urchin!

(MJ quickly gets off the grass and heads over to Andi who was cradling their newborn son.)

Andi: Oh, he’s fine MJ. He’s just fussing because he misses you. Isn’t that right my little Sea Urchin.

Urchin: *coos*

MJ: ^_^ Be at peace, Urchin. Daddy’s here.

Author: Vorpal

Narrator: The ripples of time changes come slowly at best, but this much has already happened do to the occurrences: Alphie no longer exists, but is now again baby Urchin, and is safe with mother Andi. Wario, Jr. did not get a chance to kidnap little urchin, because MJ did not leave for the Mushroom Kingdom. This turn of events, however, meant that there was no Alphie to push Future Luigi out of the way of Luigi's car, which means that once again, we're back to where we started. It is unclear, now that Urchin and Andi are back to normal, what or even if Wario, Jr did anything evil in place or creating Alphie.

~Former Doomhiker HQ, Present Time~

GORE: So we've been waiting for like four hours now... do you think it would be safe to say he's not coming back.

Vorpal: Yeah... I think we can officially call this OG over.

Sapphire: But we never saved Luigi from being killed by himself, and neither he nor Rebe have gotten together.

*Luigi and Rebe both give themselves awkward glances*

*Suddenly MJ appears in their midst, and all of them materialize into different positions in the large room*

Masamune: What just happened?

Luigi: Time ripple... and don't ask me how I knew that. Somebody had to know... A change in the past has altered the course of history. So all our actions have been different up to this point, thus the differences in our positions at this point in time.

Marin: So what's different now?

MJ: I'm with you guys again, and Urchin's alive... at least to the best of my knowledge.

Golem: But if we're still here, then that means that Wario, Jr. or EVIL Scientist Dude still did something to bring us all here.

WJ: Quite right, Gamehikers.

Narrator: Wario, Jr. stands before them, but not the same as he was before. He is bulkier, and has glowing eyes.

WJ: Since I could not kidnap Urchin, I was forced to use the Caykforce myself, with EVIL Scientist Dude watching over.

Rhyk: This still doesn't explain why Luigi from one year from now is in the past.

Rebe: Then there's only one solution to the whole dilemma, then.

Luigi: What... what are you talking about?

Narrator: But before Luigi could say anything more, Rebe had already reset the time portal and jumped through. Luigi runs after her, but the time gate is destroyed by a laser blast from EVIL Scientist Dude's new machine, which is a large robotic exterior, laced with all sorts of guns and lasers and rockets.

Luigi: Rebe... well *turning toward WJ and EVIL*... we kicked your butts last time... we can kick them again!

~The Future, 1 year into the future to be exact~

Rebe: Woah... time travel sickness...

Narrator: Rebe looks up to see the Doomhiker's HQ, now in ruins. she also sees Cobrax standing beside her.

Rebe: Why'd you follow me?

Cobrax: I saw EVIL aiming at the time gate, I made it in just before he shot, and surely destroyed the time gate. No one else is coming.

Rebe: ... and this time gate is our only way back.

Cobrax: Correct, unless the Luigi of this time period used some other means to travel back in time, himself.

Narrator: As luck would have it. a slightly older Luigi walks in.

Luigi: Rebe? But you're... you're...

Rebe: What?

Luigi: You went into the time gate... you never came back. I was going to use this time gate to go back and keep you from using the time gate.

Rebe: But don't you see, that would only lead you to your death.

Luigi: What? My death?

Rebe: You ran yourself over a year ago, don't you remember?

Luigi: *eyes widen* I did! I must have forgotten the moment you left my life.

Rebe: Oh, Luigi! *embraces Luigi*

Luigi: So what do we do? If I don't go back in time then none of this happens, right?

Cobrax: That's hard to say. It theoretically could solve all our problems, but it could also lead to even more devastating consequences in the time stream.

Rebe: What are you saying? Luigi has to get run over by himself?

Cobrax: Sadly, yes.

Rebe: No!

Cobrax: But I do have an idea.

~Back at the beginning of the OG~

Policeman: Anyone you know?

Luigi: That's me.

Policeman: It would seem, except for the possibility. ~calls his chief and explains~ Sir, this is going to seriously bog down the system. We're going to run some DNA tests and figure out who this is.

Luigi: It's me.

Policeman: We'll need to keep you at the station.

Luigi: Oh.

~Hours later~

Holistic Detective: So guy goes back in time and gets killed by himself. Pretty sad way to go. We should tell him how much time he's got left.

Scientist: Couldn't he just not go back in time and prevent it?

Holistic Detective: Oh, he'll go back in time. You can't change the past... or the future. How much time does he got?

Scientist: . . . one year.

~Present Time, once again~

Narrator: A battle ensues between the Gamehikers and suped-up WJ and Mecha-EVIL. GORE, Vorpal, Luigi, Golem, GM, Tiffa and Zambi take on EVIL, while Masamune, MJ, Marin, Kuria, Sapphire, Don and Rhyk take on WJ.

GORE comes in with a punch as Vorpal and Luigi do an X-Strike together with their swords. Zambi hurls a rotten egg at Golem, who uses his scarf to catapult it toward EVIL. GM takes out Omnipotence fires, and Tiffa twirls her staff and strikes for the final blow. Septuple Tech, Great Strike! 999999 Damage!!!

Mecha-EVIL disappears in red flash. Masa steps on top of Don, and uses him for a boost to do a downward slash, Marin takes her hammer and Rhyk spins her around and then throws her into WJ. Sapphire transforms into Lady in Red and jabs with her parasol. Kuria shoots a light arrow. Don gets up, picks up a discarded broom, jabs as well, and MJ takes his sword and makes a final cut. Septuple Tech, Blades of Frenzy! 999999 Damage!!!

Suped-up WJ dissappears in red flash.

You gained 12893637848 EXP.
You gained 12 Tech Pts.
You gained 53 Happy Smile Pts.
You gained 25 Luck Pts.
You gained 50 bags of jold... I mean gold... 50 bag of golds
You gained 3 foodstamps

Masamune learned Sword Strike 3
Luigi learned Force Power 15
Lady in Red learned Transform 2
Don learned Sweep Attack

Vorpal: Well... that takes care of them.

Luigi: We should go into RPG mode more often... We kick butt a lot better on a turn-based system.

Masamune: Yes... but it also leads to RPG-cliched events happening.

Luigi: Like?

GM: The building is collapsing!

Luigi: Oh...

Narrator: The Gamehikers run out just as the building collapses.

GORE: Everyone all right?

Don: Yeah... excpet Cobrax isn't here.

Luigi: ... neither is Rebe...

Narrator: As the dust settles a lone female figure walks toward the Gamehikers.

Rebe: Luigi! *runs up and kisses him*

Luigi: Rebe, but you went into the time gate...

Rebe: I came back! I kept you from running yourself over!

Luigi: You did? But I didn't feel any time ripple... I still ran myself over.

Future Luigi: Or did you?

Everyone: *Double take* Wha-?!?

~Back in the past right after we cut off for the battle~

• Holistic Detective leaves to tell Luigi the bad news*

Future Luigi: *opens eyes*

Scientist: What the-?!? But you're dead!!!

Future Luigi: *pinches Scientist in neck sending him out cold* Not anymore.

~Back to the present~

Narrator: Future Luigi presses a button on a wrist band he's wearing and transforms back into Cobrax.

Cobrax: Rebe and I got Don from the future to develop a personal holographic imager, so that I could portray Future Luigi and make Luigi beleive he had run himself over, to avoid any more disturbances in the space-time continuum. I have been lying low up until now, so that no one would catch on.

Rebe: Uh-huh *squeezes Luigi*

Luigi: Man...

Rebe: What's wrong, sweetie?

Luigi: This means that I could die at any point

now...

THE END

Starring In Order of Appearance
Luigi
Yami Yoshi/Zambi Yoshi
Mario, Jr.
GORE-ILLA
Golem
Rhyk
Masamune
Vorpal
Ashley
Rebe
Andi
Marin
Giuseppe Mastari aka GM
Don Miguel
Tiffa
Fred
Lupus
Kaiser Bear IV
Sapphire/Lady in Red
Kuria Eiren
Kiffus
Cobrax
Wally "Wario, Jr."
Luigi, Jr.
EVIL Scientist Dude
Alphie

Featuring
Baby Sea Urchin

Guest-Starring...
Policeman
Scientist
Holistic Detective
Young Boy
Chris
Soldier Bear
Daniel Jackson
Samantha Carter
Jack O’Neil
Tel’C
Lawyer
Lord Emperor Hungary
Roy
Sarugerm
Hobo
Fortune Teller
Guide
Male Tourist
Female Actor
Background Singers
Arab Dude
Poochie
Jorge
Julio
Secretary
Wario
Clerk ... he cameos

No Poochies were harmed in the making of this OG.... well okay... maybe one....

Any resemblance to the characters or events of this OG is a darn shame.

--- --- --- ---

Fred: They... they forgot about us.

Lupus: I was used so little, I even forgot what we were doing with her. *points to Ashley*

Fred: So what should we do?

Lupus: I dunno... I don't just want to leave her here... you know... we might be charged with child neglect or something.

Fred: What's wrong with that? We're bad guys... we do bad stuff.

Lupus: Yeah, but... child neglect? Is that something you want on your record?

Fred: I guess not...

Lupus: I mean it would seem so insignificant beside everything else.

Fred: So what do we do?

Lupus: I guess we give her back until the next OG...

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