Gamehiker Member OG 4 Page 4

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Mario Jr.

Rhyk: So... where too?

MJ: Why are you asking me for?

Rhak: Well it's your sister we're lookuing for right. Also, thta question wasn't directed to anyone specifically.

MJ: Oh. Well, let's ask the Goomba. [Hey you! Do you have any idea where my sister was taken?]

Slort: [I'm pretending you can't speak Goombeli right now.]

MJ: Fine. Be that way.

Slort: [You know, we wouldn't be in this pointless subplot if you were just straight with your sister.]

MJ: I have my reasons.

Slort: [Well, why can't you just tell us then? It's about time you tell us who this Laura girl is why she claims to be your sister.]

MJ: She's not my sister! My sister died protecting us... That girl you guys ran ito the forest. She's not my sister. She may look, smell, and even think she's my sister. But no. She's something much darker. Something that should have never been created. And now she's free again the world is grave danger...

Lupus: Aren't you being a little too melodramatic.

MJ: Yeah, you're probably right.

Fred: And stop pretending you know Goombeli. We know you're talking to yourself.

MJ: But I can speak Goombeli.

Slort: [No you can't.]

Fred: See!

MJ: But how did you what he said if only Luigi and Splog can understand what he says?

Rhyk: Hey, isn't the world supposed to be in "grave danger" or something ?

MJ: Oh yeah! This way. *walks off screen*

Fred: Does he even know where he's going?

Lupus: I'm too afraid to ask...

Dodo: I had absolutely no lines in this post!

(Meanwhile, back inside the fortress, Marin creeps cautiously though the shadows, holding up her mallet, reading to whack anything that jumped at her... then she sees something... no someone... walking towards her in the darkness. It wasn't until this figure stepped into the light that she noticed a female copy of herself absolutely nude. Thinking it was Laura she readied her mallet but another naked copy appeared from the shadows along with her. And another. And another. Till the room was filled with naked clones, staring at her accusingly. She iss too paralyzed with fear to make a run for it. Then they all raise their arms and pointed at her, their blood red lips mothing the word "clone.")

Marin: no....

(Marin suddenly drops to her knees sobbing.)

Marin: It can't be true....

(When she looked up, the clones were all gone but she was not quite alone. A bright flash of lightning reveals a man standing by the only exit out of the room. In theat brief moment she sees his face, he looked like MJ but his yellow eyes were fills with such hatred that sent shivers up her spine.)

Marin: I've seen you before.... haven't I?

???: Technically we've never met but yes. I was the one who killed Laura the first time raound. Somehow her memories must've tranfered over to you when you were created.

Marin: What's all this about?

???: Right now is not the time. It's too soon for me to appear in the OG scene. Soon things will be clearer in GHMOG V.

Marin: *sniffle* Everyone's alway told me "Later" or "Soon." When is "Soon" going to be "Now", huh? I'm tired of being left in the dark. I feel like there's just one big conspiracy around me and nobody's wanting to give me answers!

???: What kind of answers are you looking for? Isn't it enough that you are right here, right now? Why does everyone always have to rack their brains looking for their purpose in the great design. I say screw the rest and take destiny in your own hands.

Marin: ... What do you want from me?

???: I want only what you want. To kill Laura and put an end to this clone nonesense once and for all.

Marin: I don't want to kill her. I just want some answers to my questions.

???: If you kill her now their will be no more questions. You will be MJ's one and only sister and no one will ever be the wiser.

Marin: But I can't kill her... I've never killed anyone in my life.

???: You are weak... But I'll give you the strength you need to finish the job.

(Out of the darkness the stranger tosses her a golden sword. When she picks it up it glows white like the moon, almost illuminating the room completely.)

Marin: Wait... this is my brother's sword. How did you--?

(But when she looked up, the stranger was no where in sight.)

SteveT

~That Heaven-Type Place~

~Luigi of the Stars, Masa, Lady in Red, and Golem step out of The S.S. Swordfeller~

Golem: Here we are: The Parking Lot of the Gods, just outside of the Restaurant of the Gods, which is home of the Cheesecake of the—

Luigi: Gods, yes. I get it. They live here. Oooh, Gumball Machine of the Gods, anyone got a quarter?

Masa (aside): This new Luigi of the Pipes is even more of a hobo than the old one.

Luigi: I thought I told you to call me Luigi of the Stars.

Masa: And I told you it’s not gonna happen.

Luigi: Whatever. Let’s get inside.

~They enter, and see that the gods are locked in a divine, epic debate.~

One: Two, you’re godmoding.

Two: No, you are.

Three: Who gave us these names? I mean…seriously. Numbers?

One: Yeah, and who even approved this heaven-type place setting? It’s totally shallow and cliché.

Three: But we are the gods! If these things are happening, then there must be a higher power.

Two: …who is totally godmoding.

One: But we’re the most powerful beings in the universe!

Two: There One goes again…

Three: Then this other god must be from outside our universe.

All Three: Stare angrily (and angstily) at us through the monitor

~Back in the doorway~

Lady in Red: Tortilla the Hun must be here already

Luigi of the Stars: Then we must move quickly. To the kitchen!

~Luigi puts on a bib and pulls a fork from his pocket~

Golem: Luigi, we’re not here to eat

Luigi: Shut up, I haven’t had a single cracker in my entire life

Masa: Someone give this guy a cracker…and a bath…and a girlfriend. I don’t want him to ever have another line like that.

Luigi: I haven’t been so offended in my entire life.

Masamune

~in the KITCHEN (of doom)~

Masamune: Tortilla? Are you there?

Tortilla: ~on the other side~ I'm here Mune.

Masamune: Cook it! Throw it in the oven!

Tortilla: .... hm...

Masamune: What are you waiting for!? Let it bake!

Tortilla: Okay. *puts Cheesecake of the Gods Insta-Mix into a bowl, mixes it, pours in in a pan and puts in oven*

Golem: Somehow I don't think telling him to commit a dastardly act was such a good idea.

Masamune: I see your point.

Tortilla: Finished!

Luigi: Get him!

~Everyone except Lady in Red rush at him, but are stopped by his lightning-speed reflexes that wraps them all in tortillas~

Tortilla: I shall feast on their flesh... heh heh, actually not.

Lady in Red: I will kill you if you touch them.

Tortilla: Do no come between a Hun and his prey.

~They engage in battle. Tortilla whips out his giant rolling pin and starts swinging it at Lady in Red. She's doing alright, but is eventually hit by it~

Lady in Red: Ow.

Tortilla: You fool! No woman can kill me!

Lady in Red: *pulls off mask to reveal herself as Sapphire* I am no- what?

Tortilla: Yeah. Only a guy can do it. It's in the contract.

Sapphire: Oh...

Luigi: *Force levitates his laser sword to stab Tortilla in the back*

Tortilla: Oh.

Sapphire: Ha! *stabs him in the face*

Tortilla: *for no real reason at all, he starts deflating and shrinking into himself. He then pops*

Luigi: The Cheesecake is saved!

????: Not so fast!

Masamune: I know that voice!

Magikoopa: *jumps down* And you should know that I always win! Usually! Mostly! At least in the beginning! *grabs Cheesecake of the Gods* I knew that Hun would fail, now I'll use this and then Giovanni will reward me with hot anime babes!

Golem: Sounds like a plan.

Magikoopa: Yeah. *grabs Cheesecake and run*

Luigi: Well this is a pickle and no mistake.

~a huge door-shaped rift in space opens up~

One: Hey! Whose in my kitchen!?

Luigi: Crap.

Mario Jr.

(Back at Laura's Fortress, after wandering aimlessly the dark corridors for what seemed like an eternity, Marin eventually finds herself on the rooftop where rain was pouring in large torrents of water, obstructing her vision. However, she finally makes out a figure in a large dark cloak standing on the roofs edge. She squinted for a while, shielding her eyes from the rain with her sword, she was it was Laura.)

Laura: It didn't have to come to this... I would have left you and MJ be. But you had to come to Earth--to the past--and ruin everything. But now you're here and you've proven to be a bigger adversary than I had expected. Don't disappoint me.

(Laura whips around dramatically, revealing her face, which was cracked and falling off, exposing her true ugliness underneath. Marin gasped in horror and almost loses her footing on the steep roofside.)

Laura: Heh heh heh. Does my face displease you? Or are you stricken with awe by my beauty?

Marin: You're... you're not even human!

Laura: Well, when you're dead for almost a year, it kinda takes a toll on your looks. But I'm very much human. And so much more!

(Laura forms a large ball of green fire in her left hand and shoots it at Marin, who blocks it with her sword, reflecting it right back at Laura who duck just in time gives a taunting cackle.)

Laura: You're going have to do better than that, clone!

Marin: Augh! I'm not a clone! I'm my own person, dammit!

(Without even thinking, Marin hurled a bunch of pink fireballs at Laura, knocking her off the roof.)

Marin: Whoa...

(Marin looks at her hand which tiny wisps of pink smoke still emanated from it.)

Marin: Since when could I do that?

(Suddenly Laura floats back up and hover above the rooftop. By now her mask had fallen off completely and it was plain to see the monster truly was.)

Laura: Hmmph! Enough of these childish games! I should have destroyed you when I had the chance. A mistake will surely rectify right here and now!

(Laura spins around in a whirlwind of green fire, shedding her cloak and armor and revealing her fiery wings.)

Marin: It can't be...

Laura: Oh, but it is.

(Laura swoops down and grabs Marin the collar. She then swings Marin into a nearby tower. As Marin falls to the ground, Laura catches her hurls her back again. Once sky high, Laura flies over and kicks Marin back unto the roof. Marin then starts to slide off the roof. She tries desparately to grab for a handhold but the roof was too steep and it's surface too wet with rain. As she slid off she grabs unto the roof's edge and holds on to dear life. That's when Laura comes and steps on her hands with her boot. Marin screamed in agony as Laura pressed down harder, moving her foot about.)

Laura: You can't beat me. I am the Phoenix Reborn. That is something I have and have alone. It is the one part of me that cannot be emulated.)

(Laura pulls Marin back unto the roof and slams her face into the shingling. She then did it again, and again, until blood came pouring out of Marin's mouth and her teeth fell out.)

Marin: Please... have mercy.

Laura: Mercy? Mercy!? Did MJ have mercy on me when he left me for dead in the forest? Did he have mercy for me when he replaced me with a shoddy copy? Did anyone have mercy on me when I got so easily cast aside to make room for an idiot like you? Don't talk about mercy! You don't even know the meaning of the word...

~*~

(Meanwhile up in the sky, MJ and the others were inside an airship....)

Fred: How did we get this thing again?

Rhyl: It's a plot hole. Who cares?

Lupus: It seems there's a big storm approaching.

MJ: Then it's inside the storm we must go.

Fred: Why's that?

MJ: Because in my experience, the bad guys always hide away in big storms like this. It's supposed to be all spooky-ish or whatever.

Slort: [That's the dumbest thing I ever heard...]

MJ: Hey! Do you want me to throw you off the ship?

Luiigii of the Pipes

Yami Yoshi: This boat is so nice. Being out in the middle of nowhere on the sea...

Lionel: Where no one can hear you scream.

Manstraw: And water is thicker than blood.

Yami Yoshi: And the crew is just so awesome.

GORE: Y-yeah...

Sir Steven: Yeah, by the way...

~Sir Steven knocks Yami Yoshi and GORE out, then throws them overboard. Rebe starts to scream, but Lionel pinches her neck and she passes out. Lionel sets her to the side, then looks at Manstraw, who pulls something out of storage.~

Sir Steven: What is that you're getting?

Manstraw: It's the emblem from the uniform of a grunt of Giovanni.

Lionel: Who's Giovanni?

Manstraw: The man who runs Team Rocket, the sworn enemy of peace and hope and all that crap. ~throws the emblem roughly where Sir Steven threw Yami Yoshi and GORE~ Once the rest of the OGers find the emblem, the design will make Masamune suspect that Team Rocket killed them and abducted his girlfriend. When they find her body dead on the front step of the GORE-ILLIGAN Isle branch of Team Rocket Headquarters, their suspicions will be totally confirmed.

Lionel: You never said anything about killing anyone.

Manstraw: We were hired to KILL the OGers and keep Team Rocket in check! It's a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.

Lionel: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl without her author's approval. RPing has made me soft.

Manstraw: Am I going mad, or did the word "THINK" escape your lips? YOU ARE NOT ON THIS RIDE FOR YOUR BRAINS, YOU HIPPOPOTAMIC LAND MASS!

Sir Steven: I agree with Manstraw.

Manstraw: OH! THE ANGSTY HERO HAS SPOKEN! NO ONE AGREES WITH ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. I WILL KILL HER, AND REMEMBER THIS, NEVER FORGET THIS: WHEN I FOUND YOU, YOU WERE SO HEARTLESS, YOU COULDN'T BUY VALENTINE'S CANDY! ~whirls on Lionel~ AND YOU! FRIENDLESS, BRAINLESS, HELPLESS, HOPELESS! DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOU BACK TO WHERE YOU WERE, UNEMPLOYED, IN HYRULE!!! ~storms away~

Lionel: Do you have to type in all caps? I think there's a rule about that.

Sir Steven: That Manstraw, he can fuss.

Lionel: Fuss, fuss...I think he like to scream... at us.

Sir Steven: Probably he means no harm.

Lionel: He's really very short on... charm.

Sir Steven: Dude, stop it. I hate rhymes.

Lionel: Yes, yes, some of the time.

Sir Steven: Enough of that!

Manstraw: Hey, Lionel, are there rocks ahead?

Lionel: If there are, we all be dead!

Sir Steven: No more rhymes now, I mean it!

Lionel: Anybody want a peanut?

Sir Steven: THAT'S IT!! ~huge brawl between Sir Steven, Manstraw, and Lionel, etc.~

***

Manstraw: We'll reach the isle by dawn. ~looks at Sir Steven, who is looking behind the boat~ Why are you doing that?

Sir Steven: Are you sure nobody's follow us?

Manstraw: That would be inconceivable.

Rebe: Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, my boyfriend will see you all hanged.

Manstraw: Of all the necks on this boat, woman, the one you should be worrying about is your own. ~looks at Sir Steven again, who's looking back... again~ Stop doing that! We can all relax, it's almost over.

Sir Steven: You are sure nobody's follow us?

Manstraw: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Team Rocket knows what we've done, and none of the OGers could've gotten here so fast... Out of curiosity, why do you ask?

Sir Steven: No reason. Suddenly, I just happen to look behind us and something is there.

~Manstraw and Lionel run to the back of the boat, slightly shocked. There is a wave of sorts approaching them.~

Manstraw: Probably some crazy kids out for a pleasure cruise on their water speeders at night... through caykzor-infested waters.

~At the wave, Yami Yoshi is riding on GORE's back, who's swimming quickly through the water.~

Yami Yoshi: Almost caught up, buddy! Be the water! Swim that water!

GORE: Grr...

~Rebe dives overboard and starts swimming away.~

Manstraw: Wha-wh-Go in! Get after her!

Sir Steven: I'm wearing 500 pound armor.

Lionel: I only dog paddle.

Manstraw: DYEEAAHHHHHH!! VEER LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!

~A loud shrieking fills the air. Rebe stops.~

Manstraw: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND IS, WOMAN? THOSE ARE THE REMAINS OF THE CAYKZORS. IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, JUST WAIT! THEY ALWAYS GROW LOUDER WHEN THEY'RE ABOUT TO FEED ON HUMAN FLESH. IF YOU SWIM BACK NOW, I PROMISE, NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU. I DOUBT YOU'LL GET SUCH AN OFFER FROM THE CAYKZORS.

~Rebe feels frosting on her arm. She turns and sees a Caykzor charging at her, but at the last second, Lionel swoops in and eats it. He grabs Rebe and pulls her back onto the boat.~

Manstraw: Put her down, just put her down.

Sir Steven: ~points at the wave~ I think they're getting closer.

Manstraw: THEY'RE NO CONCERN OF OURS. SAIL ON! ~to Rebe~ I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?

Rebe: Only compared to some.

Manstraw: ~glare~

Masamune

~The airship lands in front of Marin and Laura~

Marin: MJ? You came after me?

Laura: . . .

MJ: Yeah I-

Dodo: Actually we did, we pulled the proverbial long straw of the batch.

Rhyk: We didn't want to do it, really.

Slort: [I couldn't care less.]

Marin: Gee thanks.

Laura: *realizes she may not be able to win...* How dare you intrude.

~Suddenly MJ is shot by an electric pulse from behind and falls~

Lupus: Ha! Man, this moment was so predictable.

Dodo: SEE! SEE? I told you releasing them was stupid and pointless. But did you listen? *gets volted*

Slort: [I said that too.]

Rhyk: Shut up. *gets volted* Hey, watch it. *falls over*

Slort: *gets volted* [Ow.]

Laura: Oh uh, good job.

Lupus: Whatever, this plot sucks.

Fred: Needs more syrup.

Lupus: What? I mean, let's get this wrapped up. I should totally be in a plot containing more me being evil and not being a lackey.

Laura: I hate interruptions like this.

~Elsewhere~

Sir Steven: Look! he is right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same fuel type that we are.

Manstraw: Whatever the fuel is, they're too late. See? GORE-LIGAN'S ISLAND! Hurry up. Move that thing and that other thing. Move it!

Lionel: Bah.

Manstraw: We're safe. Only Lionel is strong enough to go our way.

Sir Steven: We don't have a 'our way'. It's just a small cliff that you can just go around.

Manstraw: Don't ruin this for me.

~after docking at the island, they all climb on Lionel's back who casually walks up the stairs~

Sir Steven: See? They're following, and much faster. Seriously, why do we have to ride Lionel?

Manstraw: Inconceivable! Faster, Lionel!

Lionel: I thought I was going faster.

Manstraw: You were supposed to be this speedster! A legendary animal that threw knives at people. And yet he gains.

Lionel: Well I'm carrying a person and a 500 pound suit of armor. He's only got a yoshi.

Manstraw: I do not accept excuses. I'm just going to have to find another Zelda monster.

Lionel: Okay.

Manstraw: Did I make it clear your job is on the line?

~they get to the stop of the stairs. Manstraw rolls a boulder down the stairs. GORE and Yami swing away from it, but the stairs are destroyed. They start climbing~

Lionel: They got very good arms.

Manstraw: They didn't fall!? Inconceivable.

Sir Steven: That line is so cliched.

Manstraw: Fine, stay here and finish them.

Sir Steven: I'm going to duel them right handed.

Manstraw: You are righthanded.

Sir Steven: Well yeah, I'm not about to get myself killed from arrogance.

SteveT

~Sir Steven peers down the staircase~

Sir Steven: Hello there

GORE: *grunts*

Sir Steven: I don't suppose you could speed things up

Yami: If you want to speed things up so much, you could find an elevator or or just come down here or find some other helpful thing to do

Sir Steven: I could do that, but I don't think you would accept my help, since I"m only waiting up here so that I can kill you

Yami: That does put a damper in our relationship. I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.

~Sir Steven waits, swinging his axe around in the air. Eventually, GORE and Yami reach the top of the staircase. They both take a moment to catch their breath.~

Sir Steven: Before we fight, do you mind showing me your butts?

GORE and Yami: WHA?

Sir Steven: You see, I was once minorly annoyed by an ape with a ball and chain attached to his butt

~Before Sir Steven finishes the sentence, Yami's shorts have finished fluttering to the shoreline~

Sir Steven: Dude...you're...not an ape.

Yami: WRONG YOSHI!

Sir Steven: I think this parody is sufficiently dead. I'd hate to kill you, too.

GORE: It is dead indeed. I'd hate to die.

~Sir Steven swings his axe at GORE, whose mighty cyborg fists assault his armor. A duel breaks out with, umm...is...too cool for words to describe....yeah. So there's no point in even trying. Anyway, Yami spends the whole time ummm....oh crap, I got him confused with Yoshiman....he does something.~

~ The fight was spectacular, by the way. I'm not sure if I mentioned that. In the end, Sir Steven was disarmed and on his knees.~

Sir Steven: Do it quickly

GORE: I know that before Dark Ditto's maple, you were a magical suit of armor. You belong in a museum, not a tomb. I'd sooner destroy a stain glassed window.

~GORE punches Sir Steven in the head, and Sir Steven falls unconcious~

~Back in the Kitchen of DOOM~

ONE: I said, who is stealing food from my kitchen?

Masa: We're here to ensure that the Cheesecake of the Gods does not fall into the hands of evil. Since none of us are in any way affliliated with evil, disrepute, or mischief, I think it's best if we just take it and be on our way.

Luigi of the Stars: Yes....stealing food from my kitchen...that is what they used to call me...Well, I am stealing food from the Kitchen of the Gods, now.

ONE: THIEVES!

Mario Jr.

Laura: Raaargh! Enough of this! *volts everyone* I will have no more hindrances...

(Marin starts crawling towards where her brother fell.)

Marin: Brother...

MJ: ...

Marin: Brother, get up...

(Laura notices Marin's movement and lands in front of her.)

Laura: Now... you will die!

(Laura grabs Marin by the neck and holds her up into the air. Marin struggles to get free but could not break free of Laura's powerful grip.)

Laura: There can only be one!

(Suddenly Marin jams the Star Sword into Laura's stomach and Laura instantly drops Marin and doubles over in pain. As Laura cowers away howling Marin gets up and yanks the sword out of Laura spilling black blood everywhere.)

Marin: You're right. There can only be one.

Laura: Please... have mercy.

Marin: Gee, I thought I didn't know the meaning of the word? Hmm. Oh well. *hold up sword*

Laura: Wait! We can be sisters! You. Me. MJ. We can like triplets. Wouldn't that be fun?

Marin: Well, I always wanted a sister.

(While Marin was temporarily distracted in thought, Laura seized to opportunity to knock Marin to the ground.)

Laura: Hee hee hee! I guess MJ forgot to clone you a brain! I can't believe you feel for that sob story!

Marin: Well, at least I'm not a cookie-cutter princess turned cookie-cutter villain. How many times has that good girl gone bad been done?

Laura: Yeah. Well. Who cares? You're dead anyways.

(Laura forms a giant ball of energy with her hands. Marin form a similar one with her hands over her head. That's when MJ starts stirring where he lays.)

MJ: No... stop fighting... must... save my sister...

(MJ gets up to intervene but gets caught in the crossfire as the two energy blasts collided causing a great explosion. When the light dimmed, MJ's limp body fall to ground.)

Laura/Marin: MJ!

(Marin runs over to her brother's side. He is badly scorched but seems still breath, though very faintly.)

Laura: You've killed him!

Marin: We both did. But he's not beyond saving yet...

MJ: Mare, I...

Marin: save your strength MJ. We'll get you some help.

MJ: There's something I have to tell you... You're not really...

Marin: You don't have to tell me anything. I know who I really am. I knew it right when Laura said you had left her for dead. It knew it wasn't true. I know what really happened that fateful night. How you tried to save me but I refused. My body is new but my memory is the same. You see, your sister's memory, her love for you still lives in me. We are one and the same. We always have been.

Laura: Don't listen to her! She's a liar! I'm the original! She's the fake!

Marin: Do you remember when you used to get scared in the big lonely castle at night. How you would come into my room and sneak into my bed.

MJ: Yes... You used to sing me a lullaby to calm me down. I love you forever. I love you for always... As long as I'm living...

(MJ tried to finish the song but he was too weak and fell back asleep. Marin cradle his head in her arms ad finishes the lullaby for him.)

Marin: I love you forever... I love you for always... As long as I'm living.... My brother you'll be.

(A single tear trickles down her cheek and falls on MJ's forehead, causing his body to glow with a strange, pink light all over. His eyelids slowly lifted open and he miraculously he was completely revived.)

MJ: Marin! You saved me!

Laura: No... No! Only I have the Power of the Phoenix! I! Me! Princess Laura of the Mushroom Kingdom!

(In her rage, Laura pulls out her black sword and was about to strike when out of nowhere, a ton of syrup falls from the heavens and pushes Laura right unto the pole of one of the fortresses many towers.)

Fred: Hell yeah! That's what I'm talking about!

Marin: *smiles* Let's get the hell out of here and back to the main plot.

Lupus: That's if Masa and them still saved some of the fun stuff for us.

Marin: Probably not but at least there's always leftover cake.

MJ: Cake? Now I'm hungry.

Everyone: Oh MJ!

MJ: No seriously. The title of the OG specifically said there'd be cheesecake. I'm suing for false advertisement.

*minutes later*

(As MJ and the others head back in their airship, MJ takes her sister aside.)

MJ: Listen, Mare. Are you sure you're okay? That battle must've taken a lot outta you.

Marin: I'm fine. We've been through worse stuff before. A part of me feels sorry for that... thing. It must have been very lonely to know nothing but hatred and suffering. Another part of me wonders if I'm not all that different.

MJ: You are different. You know what true love is. That's something that can't be duplicated.

Marin: Yeah. You're probably right.

Rhyk: Hey MJ! I found some cake in the freezer here! You better get it before we eat all!

MJ: Yeah! Cake! *runs off*

(Marin still lingers behind, staring blankly at the stars. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, echoed the voice of the stranger from the fortress.)

???: You disappoint me Marin. I gave you a chance for ultimate power and you chose Love. When you see me again, I will make sue you will live to regret this.

~*~

(Somewhere, off in Heaven.)

3896: Hey, dumbass! You just knocked over a vat of syrup!

6785: Uhhh... Do you think anyone down there will notice.

3896: Probbly not. Carry on!

Luiigii of the Pipes

Golem: Lady in Red? You're... Sapphire?

Sapphire: What?

Golem: ~shock and betrayal~

Sapphire: Oh great.

Golem: That's it! ~pulls out phone~ Divorce town, population not me!

One: ~charges~

Luigi: Some other time, you dorks! ~whips out twin laser sword blades~

Masamune: Be ready... for anything. ~draws his sword~

~Sapphire takes off her golden bracelets, which double in size and grow razor sharp edges where she's not holding them. Golem picks up a stick and wraps his scarf around one end in a kind-of ball shape.~

Luigi: Let's go!

~Luigi charges at One, and they meet halfway across the kitchen. One uppercuts Luigi and sends him flying backwards, but Luigi flips in midair and lands on his feet, running forward again. Masamune joins him and they start hacking away at One, Luigi adding in a flurry of sword stabs, an elbow to the solar plexus, and a slash that knocks One to the ground with a shockwave in the shape of a growling Goomba. Sapphire throws one of her bracelets at One and runs forward, intent on bludgeoning him with the other. Golem stands back and kinda waves his scarf around.~

~They continue like this for some time.~

Luigi: Here we go!

~Luigi hits One, and then everyone else hits One at the exact same time. One screams and falls over. They hit him some more, but he gets up slightly invincible and sends Luigi flying again; this time Luigi lands on his back.~

Luigi: Masamune! I am dangerously low on vitality! You must regenerate me somehow!

~Masamune sighs and runs away from One, then points his finger at Luigi.~

Masamune: Don't over--

~One throws a chair at Masamune and knocks him down.~

Masamune: Aren't we clever?

Golem: This is pathetic!

Sapphire: ~gets sent flying~ Aaaaah.

~Note that Golem is the only one still standing at the moment. One starts to stalk toward him.~

Golem: W-wait! Um... BRAIN CANCER!

~Golem points his cell phone at One's head. One screams and falls over, clutching his temples. Golem runs at One, makes a very disturbing grunt, and hits him with his scarf-stick. One cries out in agony and disappears in a flash of white.~

Golem: Yes! The amazing final blow was mine!

Luigi: Somehow this doesn't seem fair.

Golem: Our weapons are love!

Sapphire: Justice, and...

Masamune: ~sigh~ ...hope...

Two (outside the door): Dammit, One! You are not approved to eat my-- ~enters~ Oh. THREE!!!

Luigi: Great. Here we go again.

Masamune: Give them no quarter! ~charges~

Masamune

~Meanwhile, at GORE-ligan's island~

Codtrooper: Sir, we have received reports.

Dark Ditto: Yes?

Codtrooper: Agents Laura and Tortilla have been eliminated, Agents Fred and Lupus have not reported.

Dark Ditto: *angrily* And the Cheesecake!?

Magikoopa: Right here. *walks in*

Dark Ditto: FINALLY!

Magikoopa: Ah ah, what makes you think I'm going to give it to you.

Dark Ditto: *smiles pleasantly* You will. *in a instant he shifts into a shadow, engulfs Magikoopa before he can react, and returns to his original form with the cake in hand* Pleasure doing business with you.

Magikoopa: Well.... what about the pikachu?

Dark Ditto: All in good time. *takes a bite into the Cheesecake* ABSOLUTE POWER!!!! *grows wings* Ahahahahahaha!

Magikoopa: Oh.

~ELSEWHERE!~

GORE: Time to die Manstraw!

Manstraw: Never!

~there is suddenly an earthquake~

Yami: What was that!?

Manstraw: It is complete...

~ANOTHER ELSEWHERE~

MJ: Okay, let's get back on the airship. They'll probably need backup at Dark Ditto's hideout.

Marin: Sounds like a plan.

~there is an earthquake~

Marin: What is that!?

Lupus: Our chance.

Fred: Right. *they two attack MJ, Marin, and the sidekicks. And then tie them up*

Lupus: Let's get 'em on the airship and visit the boss.

~In Heaven~

Masamune: *finishes off an angel* Blame your fate.

Golem: We can't keep fighting angels forever.

Masamune: I dunno, I've gained three levels.

Luigi: Yeah, but Masamune is a sucky healer. He almost never casts First Aid.

*more angels come*

Golem: We're going to die!!

Masamune: This is getting old. *kills another one*

Golem: Let's get 'em! *finishes one*

Sapphire: Wow Golem, you looked so cool!

Luigi: I'm starting to wonder about your tastes, Sapphire

Golem: What's that supposed to mean?

Masamune: *sees more angels* One right after another...

Angel: Hold it!

Two: What is it?

Angel: Something's coming. Something huge.

Two: It can't be....

*Dark Ditto flies in between the three Gods*

*Golem swings his weapon at him*

Dark Ditto: *wipes lip* Blood? You... vicious brat! Grrr... Aargh... I hate hate hate hate hate hate... hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE YOU!

Masamune: Do you hate him?

Dark Ditto: YES! Grrr... Gods... you were born only to fight. I implore you... show me your power!!

One: I don't want to.

Dark Ditto: I command you! Give me your power! Arrrgh! Curses!

Two: No!

Dark Ditto: Listen to me, or you'll regret it! Give me... POWER!

Luigi: Dark Ditto, stop it! If you drain the gods you'll destroy the very world you're trying to possess!

Dark Ditto: Shuddap!

Luigi: Are you nuts!?

Dark Ditto: Nuts...!? Hobo! Don't disturb me! I'm showing them the meaning of power!

Luigi: I don't think so, old friend. Your days are now over. Now relax... I'm simply going to put you to sleep with my bad arse Jedi powers...

~Luigi waves his hand to use the Force, but Dark Ditto only laughs~

Luigi: What's so funny!?

Dark Ditto: Yah! *throws a volley of magical spells at Luigi*

Luigi: N... noooo! Why isn't the Force working!? How are you doing this!?

Dark Ditto: How? Simple! I'm standing within the field of the Gods! Their strong field nullifies the Force! Or didn't you notice?

Everyone: Gaspses!

Dark Ditto: And now, Gods! You've shown me a sign! It is time you show this pathetic hobo your true power!

Luigi: No! Ditto! Don't do something stupid... Remember all those times we shared?

Dark Ditto: No. I command you, Gods! Show me your power!

Three: He's ate the Cheesecake, we can't control our powers!

Dark Ditto: *pulses with energy* Incredible... *he raises his hand, Three casts a beam of magic, but it misses Masamune* You're way off. Where are you aiming? Whoa! More to the right!

Masamune: *runs out of the way* I failed...

Dark Ditto: Run! Run! Or you'll be well done!

Sapphire: Snap out of it, Ditto. *watches him continue* Oh, that's really smart. *rolls eyes*

~Vorp-Man suddenly appears and attacks Dark Ditto*

Dark Ditto: Who're you? *gets hit again* Noooo!

Vorp-Man: Go! There are people counting on you!

Masamune: Okay, cya.

Vorp-Man: Don't worry about me! Run! I can't stop this chain reaction! I'll see you again. Count on it!

Dark Ditto: You can't escape me!!

~On the Swordefeller~

Masamune: The energy is spiking, we have to leave!

Golem: No! We have to wait for Vorp-Man!

Masamune: If we wait, there won't be nothing for Vorp-Man to return to!

Golem: No!

Masamune: *looks back at the brightly glowing heavenly place* I'm sorry. *powers up ship*

Luigi: There he is!

~Vorp-Man jumps on the ship~

Vorp-Man: Get out of here! NOW!

Masamune: Aye! *starts flying the ship away*

Sapphire: Hey... what's that behind us?

Masamune: Oh my....

Luigi: It's a shockwave! Brace for impact!

~the ship goes out of control and bursts into pieces in midair... the passengers are thrown into the ocean below~

Mario Jr.

(Back on the ship.)

Marin: You can't do this! I just saved your asses back there! You guys would be Demon Chow if it wasn't for me...

Fred: Ugh. Her voice is so grinding...

Lupus: I told you to tape their mouths shut.

Fred: I was in a hurry!

Marin: Hey, don't ignore me!

Fred: Oh fine! I'll put tape on her mouth.

(As Fred stoops down to tape her mouth, his arm suddenly lights up on fire. he starts dancing wildly tring to put it out and falls right off the ship. Marin sheds the burnt ropes and walks up to Lupus holding up her mallet menancingly.)

Lupus: Um, yeah. I get the point. *jumps off*

(Marin turns to MJ and frees him from his bondange.)

MJ: Whoa! Where did you learn to do that?

Marin: Let's just say I picked up a few things after I died. How about the others?

MJ: Still out cold.

Marin: Great. Any idea how to fly this thing?

MJ: No. But I used to play Nintendo alot. *takes the wheel*

Marin: That doesn't coun--WHOOOOAAAH!

(The airship begins to descend sharply, diving nose-first towards the ocean below.)

~*~

(Meanwhile, Masa and friends were floating on the ocean's surface on peices of flotsam. Luigi points wearily at the sky.)

Luigi: Hey look.... a shooting star...

Sapphire: In the middle of the day?

Masa: Um, guys, that's not a shooting star... THAT'S AN AIRSHIP!!!

Luiigii of the Pipes

~Kuria awakes and looks around. The setting looks remarkably similar to the Vorp-Cave... because it is the Vorp-Cave.~

Goombutler: Oh, you're awake.

Kuria: Goombutler... what?

Goombutler: You've been asleep for the last 500 years.

Kuria: What?!

Goombutler: I mean... 500 minutes. But a lot has changed in those past eight hours...

~Goombutler leads Kuria to the door of the Vorp-Cave... which is now floating in the middle of an ocean.~

Kuria: How'd we get here?

Goombutler: Security purposes. ~cough~

Kuria: Are you okay?

Goombutler: No... I've fallen sick. ~lays down~

Kuria: Well... I'll catch you some fish. Which will somehow completely cure you.

~Kuria finds a small landing on one end of the Vorp-Cave and uses her elf-like reflexes to snatch a fish out of the water. She takes it back to Goombutler and feeds him.~

Kuria: There you go ^_^

Goombutler: HACK! O.o ~dies~

Kuria: What? Oh... the fish was rotten. Oh well. ~steals the Vorp-Plane and flies away~

***

Kuria: Wow... the landscape is all different. ~picks Vorpal's goggles off of the passenger's seat.~ Hmm... Vorpal's goggles. He must still be alive somewhere. Oh dear, I'm out of fuel.

~Kuria crashlands in Boston. There is a brilliant flash and everything, which is already broken, breaks even more.~

Kuria: That flash was weird.

Rhyk: Ugh!

Kuria: Rhyk!

Rhyk: No time for small talk! If you haven't noticed, I'm holding up this building.

Kuria: Why?

Rhyk: There's people inside still!

Kuria: And why hasn't anyone else who's just standing here run in to save them?

Person: Hey, shut up, lady!

Kuria: Fine! I'll do it!

~Kuria runs to the door of the house, but moments before she reaches it, it collapses. Rhyk throws her to the ground and wraps his scarf around the both of them. He punches out of the debris after it has settled.~

Rhyk: You weren't fast enough! Oh well, I'll just follow you anyway.

Kuria: I don't even know where I'm going.

Rhyk: Let's follow that guy. He's obviously Golem.

Lomge: No I'm not. ~walks away~

***

~Lomge joins Don Cornmuffin and a group of Codtroopers who are going to raid Maryland. Kuria and Rhyk follow him to Golem's house, where they confront him again.~

Rhyk: Quit pretending, Golem. You didn't even try to disguise yourself.

Golem: You almost threw me off. I was going to beat these guys up after they tried to rob me.

Kuria: We'll help you.

Don Cornmuffin: I think not, my children. I'll kill you now, and all of these worthless Codtroopers with you.

Codtrooper: Despite what he just said, we are obliged to help kill you.

~Epic fight scene. Rhyk and Golem kill off the Codtroopers while Kuria, with her bow, takes on Don Cornmuffin, with a gun. Don Cornmuffin turns and shoots a Codtrooper, and in that moment, Kuria hits him with an arrow. He cries out and falls to his knees, then looks up at Roy, who's gaping at him. He catches his breath, stands back up, turns his gun on Kuria... and gets shot with another arrow. He stands a moment more... gets shot by another arrow, and falls.~

Don Cornmuffin: My death scene... was worse than Tortilla's... AVENGE ME!

Roy: No! ~tries to hit Kuria, gets picked up, and thrown away~

Rhyk: That was exciting.

Golem: Cool! Let's go!

Kuria: Where?

Golem: I have a few bucks... LAS VEGAS!

***

~A random casino in Las Vegas.~

Kuria: Oh! It's Sapphire... and a bunch of children...

Sapphire: Humph. These children are the only survivors of Las Vegas's destruction. Where else was I supposed to take them?

Golem: Hey baby. Let's--

~There is a loud shaking.~

Sapphire: Oh crap. They're back. ~runs outside~

~The others follow and see Sapphire fighting with Magikoopa and Bomberman. They verily pwns her, but the others scare them away.~

Sapphire: I've lost my touch. I'm so not going with you guys and staying with these children.

Rhyk: Fine. Be that way.

***

Golem: Have y'all seen that? ~points at a gigantic mountain that can be seen from every side of the planet and other galaxies~ That's the new Ditto Domain. We'll have to fly there if we want to take him out.

Rhyk: Why would we want to take him out? We'll be eliminated.

Masamune: I know how you could fly there...

~They turn to see Masamune sitting on a bench outside of a casino. He has six full bottles of rum on one side of him, and twenty empty bottles. And a half full one in his hand.~

Masamune: My ship...

Kuria: How would we fly there?

Masamune: My brother, mayherestinhell, had a ship like the Swordefeller... my ship...

Golem: So we'll just have to find his secret base and steal it?

Masamune: Well... I already did... ~pushes button on a remote~

~The Omnipotent rises out of the casino behind Masamune, shattering everything.~

Masamune: All *hic* aboard.

***

Rhyk: Are you really in any condition to fly this thing?

Masamune: I'm 600 years old. I know every hangover remedy in the book.

~Masamune crashes into a bird with a letter in its talons.~

Masamune: Oh.

Kuria: That bird was going to the Forest of the Pipes. We should take the letter there.

Golem: But why can't we just go take on Ditto right now? I mean, we have a ship and everything.

Rhyk: We are forced to go and collect all the rest of the OGers. It's just a fact.

~They fly to the Forest of the Pipes and find Ashley.~

Ashley: Look! Look! Luigi's sending me letters! He didn't die!

Masamune: Well... ah...

Ashley: I hope this bird can find its way back... ~sends a bird away with a letter~

Golem: Let's follow it.

~They follow the bird to Cincinatti, where they find Rebe writing letters as Luigi.~

Rebe: I couldn't let her down.

Golem: Luigi's not dead anyway.

Rebe: Oh. I'll just come with you, then.

***

~The group makes a detour to the Cincinatti Zoo.~

Rhyk: We don't have time for this...

Masamune: Shut up.

~They conveniently find Dodo flying around and lure him into joining them with scraps of paper and pencils.~

Dodo: Hey guys. I've learned so much from the animals around here.

Masamune: It's good to have you back.

Slort: [Hey.]

Kuria: Hey, it's Luigi's goomba. I think he's trying to tell us something.

Slort: [. . . Just follow me.]

***

~Slort leads them to a house far north of Cincinatti. Luigi lays dying inside the house from about a million wounds. Sir Steven, Manstraw, and Lionel stand around him, pondering.~

Sir Steven: All in favor of the Jedi pyre method, say aye. Aye.

Manstraw: Nose.

Lionel: I think we should put him in a dress first. Frilly pink one.

Rebe: Don't you lay a finger on him!

Sir Steven: Oh dear...

~Epic fight scene. The OGers seem to have won, when suddenly...~

SteveT: Hey... I'm back to my old self!

Straw Man: You mean I'm back to your old self.

Lynel: I liked being blue anyway.

~Another epic fight scene progresses and ends in exactly the same fashion.~

SteveT: You haven't heard the last of us, Festivity Attenders! ~shakes his fist at them and leaves with Straw Man and Lynel~

~The OGers take Luigi to the Forest of the Pipes and leave him with Ashley to recuperate.~

***

~The OGers head to Brooklyn.~

Random extra: So I heard there's a girl in the old Mario Bros. Plumbing Company who can make monsters pop out of pipes.

All: Gaspses.

~They find Marin, who is currently being attacked by Lupus and Fred.~

Lupus: Ultimate powah!

~Lupus and Fred place themselves back to back and turn around at random intervals in the fight.~

Rhyk: That was pointless.

~Marin sends them flying with a swing of her mallet.~

Fred: Master Lupus?

Lupus: Yes Fred?

Fred: Is the moon made of cheese?

Lupus: Yes Fred.

Fred: At least we have something to eat... ~picks up a moon rock and tries to eat it~

Marin: Ugh. So I guess I have to go with you to find my idiot brother now.

Golem: Yes.

***

~The OGers travel back to Cincinnati (just because) and discover the Cult of Ditto, with MJ as a new recruit.~

MJ: All... hail... Ditto...

Kuria: He's been brainwashed!

Marin: There's no brain to wash. ~smacks MJ on the head with her mallet~

MJ: All... hai-- OW! What'd you... oh, hey guys.

Marin: YOU IDIOT CHOSEN! ~starts beating up MJ for no real reason~

MJ: Let's go... quick!

***

Golem: I haven't given up on Sapphire, and now we have the force necessary to make her join us. Let's go.

~They fly back to Las Vegas.~

Sapphire: I told you, I'm not going to-- ~shaking~ Oh great...

~They run outside and discover that Bomberman and Magikoopa have fused to become Bomberkoopa, who easier to beat than Bomberman and Magikoopa were because Sapphire rediscovers her ability to transform into Lady in Red and pwns them.~

Lady in Red: Oh great, all the children watched us senselessly beat them up. Now I have to come along so I don't have to answer questions about death and crap.

Golem: Yay!

Masamune: Weren't you going to divorce her?

Golem: I changed my mind!

***

Kuria: We need to find Vorpal.

Rhyk: No.

Kuria: But I know where he's gone...

~They go to the White House.~

Vorpal: And as my first act in office, I'm commissioning every scientist in America to forget about the war with Ditto and find a cure for death, so that I ca--

Golem: Vorpal?

Vorpal: Ack! Wh-wh--

Golem: What are you doing?

Vorpal: I should rightfully be president! You all know it!

Masamune: WRONG OG!

Vorpal: You're one to talk!

Rebe: Why do you want to cure death?

Vorpal: So that... I can save Misty...

Kuria: Hmm...

Vorpal: Oh well. It'll never happen anyway. ~winks at Kuria and joins them~

***

Masamune: I know how to lure Luigi back into the group.

Golem: You mean we can't just ask him?

Masamune: Shut up.

~They find Luigi in a random slum.~

Luigi: I would like some quarters.

Masamune: You'll like this even more. ~holds out Luigi's lightsaber~

Luigi: Guh... I KNEW YOU STOLE IT!

Masamune: But you must face me first.

Luigi: Okay.

~They fight. Luigi loses.~

Masamune: Loser has to come along.

Luigi: Good. I was getting hungry.

***

~The OGers head next to GORE-ILLIGAN'S Isle.~

Golem: Yami!

Yami Yoshi: Golem, yoshi! Since you found me, I am inclined to come with you again!

Rhyk: Okay, let's go.

Yami Yoshi: Hang on, yoshi. I know someone else who can help us...

***

~They follow Yami Yoshi through a cave and discover GORE-ILLA, gone out of his mind. They knock some sense into him.~

Yami Yoshi: I'm your boss, yoshi. You have to come along.

GORE-ILLA: Fine.

***

Masamune: Okay, that's everyone. Now let's...

Golem: WAIT!

Masamune: What?

Golem: I think we should check out that giant ? Block over there.

Masamune: What? Why?

Golem: I have a good feeling about it...

~They fly over to the ? Block and are EATEN BY IT OMG!~

Masamune: -_-

Golem: Oh.

???: Hello.

~They all turn to discover a man/woman/it completely covered in green and yellow robes. All that is visible are a pair of glasses remarkably similar to Golem's.~

???: My name is... um... Ditto. No relation to Ditto. Please allow me to come with you.

Yami Yoshi: I don't think we should trust him. He lives in a giant ? Block.

GORE-ILLA: I agree. Men in masks cannot be trusted.

Golem: Too bad. He's coming.

Yami Yoshi/GORE-ILLA: Oh...

***

Masamune: Okay... NOW do we have everyone?

Kuria: Yes.

~Masamune swings the Omnipotent around and pours on speed.~

Masamune: Ditto's Domain... here we come!

Ditto McCloaker

*they all climb onto the Omnipotence and fly to Ditto's Domain*

Kuria: Why is the land around the domain all swirly? And why does the domain look like it's made of junk?

Masamune: When the world went Kerflooey, all the junk in the world swirled together from around the world to form the Domain.

Dark Ditto's Voice: Oh, for Cod's sakes. Just cuz I don't tidy up my apartment as often as I should. I'm BUSY. SHEEZ. *various pizza boxes and fast-food bags levitate up off the ground and go into the trash can*

Vorpal: DITTO!

Ditto: What?

Vorpal: Er, I mean, "Dark Ditto."

DD: Oh.

~Ditto suddenly materializes, lying lazily across a couch, eating potato chips~

DD: I knew you'd make it here, so I've arranged a little... ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU! AH HA HA HA HA!

*a BIG ARSE LASER ERUPTS from the TIP OF HIS GOD-LIKE FINGER AND STREAKS...

...across the living room and turns on the Gamecube*

Vorpal: Oh, awesome, Vs. Pacman!

Kuria: Sweetie, try to stay focused.

Sapphire: Ditto, you don't know what you're doing, stop!

Dark Ditto: *levitates her and dumps her upside down in the garbage*

Dark Ditto: Why do people cling to parties when they know they can't go on forever? Why do they hang streamers and banners when they'll only have to get taken down again?

Luigi: You missed the point.

Vorpal: Parties aren't about planning for the future. They're about celebrating life.

Kuria: And love!

Golem: And milkshakes!

Sapphire: *from garbage* Mfffmm mmfffm.

*everybody chimes in with some silly self-affirmation garbage*

Dark Ditto: *turns around thoughtfully, as though maybe he's missed something, and then turns around*

This is pathetic. You sound like plotlines from an old Squaresoft game! PREPARE YOURSELVES!

Narrator: ~Please Select Five Characters To Represent Your Entire Party~

Golem: Hm... I'll go, I guess, and... Vorpal... er, Masamune, and..

Kuria: No, I'll go with Sapphire and then we'll balance it out with Golem and...

Masamune: No, I'll go with Dodo and MJ and Gore-Illa...

MJ: Me and Marin and Gore and... no, no, wait, Golem and Saph, no wait.

Dark Ditto: Oh for COD'SSAKE. <Smithy>OVER HERE! NOW!</Smithy>

~OMG FINAL BATTLE~

Dark Ditto: *floats down from heaven dressed as a Roman God to the accompaniment of chanting, organ music, and a cool rumba beat*

Vorpal: Don't worry guys! This is an easy fight.

Dark Ditto: *opens up Final Fantasy 6 Strategy Guide* ULTIMA.

*blasts them all with a ton of special effects for five minutes*

Vorpal: WAITAMINUTE, you're not supposed to use that til near the end!

Dark Ditto: Ah, but you see, I'm Dark Ditto, not Kefka. I'm not stupid. I'm going to use my best moves up front, and often. Now then.... How do I do that one with all the wiggidy little angels?

*flips through the Final Fantasy 6 Strategy Guide*

Dark Ditto: Oh yeah, here we go. It's Up-Up-Down-Down-Left... Right... Left, and... got it.

FALLEN ONE.

*bunch of little cherubs flutter down from above and suddenly whip out GIGANTIC HAMMERS and proceed to WALLOP THE PARTY GOERS*

Dodo: If I had Hit Points, I'd swear they'd just been whittled down to 1.

Luigi: Yeah, weird feeling.

Dark Ditto: And now, to use my ultimate attack, that takes ten minutes of high-grade special effects. GONER!

*suddenly a little cherub flutters down from above and whacks Dark Ditto upside the head with a mallet*

Dark Ditto: Ow. (sad) That hurt. *slumps to his knees* Hey, what happened? I'm down to 1 HP!

Ditto: *steps forward* I ain't been Fallen One'd. YOU BEEN WEATHERWAXED!

Dark Ditto: *gaspses*

Ditto: Er, I mean... DITTOED! I MIMICKED your attack back on you! *whips out knife and advances towards him*

Dark Ditto: *skritches backwards across floor* Oh crap. Um... RETREAT! *vanishes*

Golem: Um, can the final boss "Retreat?"

Sapphire: *finally crawls out of garbage can* Let's escape! I can lead us out! *turns into the Lady In Red and takes off for the airship*

*as they're running out*

Dodo: Hey, where's Masamune and Vorpal?

Masamune

~in the heart of Dark Ditto's domain, Masamune and Vorpal have been cut off~

Vorpal: Great, now we're trapped.

Masamune: I told you to go left. LEFT. And you went right anyways.

Vorpal: Hey, the Vorp-Tracker said left.

Masamune: Vorp... tracker?

Vorpal: I mean, my intuition.

Masamune: You're Vorp-Man! ADMIT IT!

Vorpal: No! I mean... I didn't want my enemies to hurt you guys.

Masamune: Your stupid Vorp-TANK killed thousands of innocent lives that I barely even care about!

Vorpal: To save Kuria!

Masamune: Like how you DIDN'T save Misty?

Vorpal: How dare you.

Masamune: You didn't do a very good job saving her.

Vorpal: Wait... YOU DID IT!? That is NON NON NON Heinous, dude.

Masamune: Shut up, Vorp. You totally used heinous wrong, dude.

Vorpal: Bogus. You insult my grammar after you killed Misty? That's low, dude. Low.

Masamune: Yeah, well, I saw you trip over Dodo once! He was UPSET FOR WEEKS.

Vorpal: It was an accident, dude!

Masamune: An accident where you TRIED TO FRICKIN KILL HIM! *unsheaths sword* Dude, you're going down.

Vorpal: Well you killed Misty first! Or second, maybe. *unsheaths his own sword* You'll pay for your crimes!

Masamune: You're just a puppet, one of 64 worthless clones.

Vorpal: Dude, that was just uncalled for.

Masamune: BRING IT!

~the two clash swords. Vorpal the spiky haired... villain? And Masamune the long haired prettyboy... villain? Okay...~

Vorpal: I trusted you!

Masamune: So that makes you ugly and stupid.

~more fighting~

Vorpal: That's it, I'm so using a summon on you. GOERS OF THE PARTY!

~several OGers who were not in this story appear. Metal Mario, King Luigi, Oddball Mario, Sgt. Flutter, and so forth all appear with swords. All of them run by Masamune and slash him. Then the last one comes, who is none other than Luigi 64, who finishes with one giant blow~

Masamune: Ow! Man, that hurt and was way too time consuming.

Vorpal: Oh boo hoo, now I feel really bad now.

Masamune: SOLAR FLARE!!!!

Narrator: One million years ago.

~a distant planet~

Butterfly: I think I'll flap my wings.

Nearby Person: ARGH! A BUTTERFLY~

Narrator: Days later, the other side of the world.

Another Person: Hurricane! Yargh!

Kid: *throws baseball in the air, but the hurricane sucks it up* Noooooo!!

Narrator: Thousands of years later, in the vastness of space.

~vastness of space~

Rock: I'm actually the baseball covered in space debris and hurtling through space at accelerated speeds. Actually I can't talk. Sorry.

Narrator: The Present!

~outside the solar system~

Rock: Oh man, I just got a summon. *sees planets ahead* Move it b*tches. ~proceeds to blow up all the Jovial planets VERY SLOWLY, goes past Earth, hits the sun, causes it to explode and engulf Earth~

~back in Dark Ditto's Domain~

Vorpal: That got hot, now I'm all sweaty. Way to blow up the universe, jerk.

Masamune: I don't have a shirt on now.

~Fangirls tackle him~

Masamune: Nooo! Save me Vorpal!

Vorpal: *looks at him, then at the exit, then at Masamune* We finish this in the sequel. *grabs Masamune and they flee*

Dodo: *sees them coming* There you guys are, come on!

~BIG ENDING ESCAPE SEQUENCE~

REBE
AS
REBE

Golem: Rebe, think you can handle that switch?

Rebe: I hate machines, but okay. *hits the switch with an LIGHTSABER*

Golem: You broke it!

Rebe: You just have to show technology who's boss!

MASAMUNE
AS
MASAMUNE THE PIRATE

~Masamune is with Kuria and Golem and there's more than one door~

Golem: We're going to die, way to go.

Masamune: Wait. *pulls out magic 8 ball* It says to ask another time.

~an explosion blocks off one of the doors~

Masamune: Let's go that way seeing as how it doesn't say 'death' all over it. Sometimes in life you just have to FEEL your way through a situation.

Kuria: That's just stupid.

Masamune: Murasame...I'm starting to sound just like you... dangit.

GOLEM
AS
GOLEM

RHYK
AS
RHYK

~the two are escaping when a bunch of pizza boxes fall on Golem~

Rhyk: I didn't turn my back on the party goers, jerk. I knew I'd be a better leader, but I let you ruin it. I trained hard, knowing I could take over one day. Now I know why I have these scrawny arms!

Golem: Is this the time to be monologuing? SAVE ME.

Rhyk: Fine. *pulls him out*

~another pizza box falls, but Golem catches it~

Golem: Where is Rhyk when you need him?

Rhyk: Right here.

Golem: Ladies first.

~Sapphire walks by, shrugs, and continues~

YAMI
AS
YAMI YOSHI

~Yami is falling off a cliff~

Yami: Heeeelp! Save me!

Golem: Fine, yeesh. *grabs him with scarf*

Yami: The face, watch the face! Oww.

GORE
AS
GORE-ILLA

Sapphire: It won't open! *pounds on door*

GORE: Darn.

Sapphire: Well?

GORE: *sighs and pounds the door slightly, opening it*

DITTO
AS
DITTO McCLOAKER

Sapphire: Both buttons have to be pressed simultaneously, which is kinda stupid.

Masamune: Ditto! Watch Sapphire and do exactly what she does!

Ditto: You don't own me. *does it anyways and the door opens*

Sapphire: Okay, let's go. *walks away*

Ditto: *walks the exact same way, but falls into a hole* Dangit.

DODO
AS
DODO THE RAVEN

Dodo: I found a shortcut.

Masamune: Okay.

Dodo: My ending scene sucks. *flies over the garbage and leaves everyone*

VORPAL
AS
VORPAL THE 64TH

KURIA
AS
KURIA EIREN

Masamune: Come on! This floor's about to break apart, yeesh.

Kuria: Vorpal! *she falls*

Vorpal: *catches her hand* I will not let go... ...I promise! You almost ate it trying to flirt with that pirate!

Kuria: That was Misty.

Vorpal: Oh yeah. >.> *pulls her up*

Masamune: Don't fall! Remember, you promised me you'd do your Maria act again!

Vorpal: *growls*

SAPPHIRE
AS
SAPPHIRE BLUE

Sapphie: Dad?

King Cobalt: Sapphire... we must part now. We royal types are being replaced by just capitalist empires. But if the royal part of you is attached very strongly to something or someone... You will probably be able to remain in this world as a rich snob of something...

Sapphire: I never did like you dad.

MARIN
AS
MARIN MARIO

~MJ and Marin are running down a conveyor belt~

Marin: MJ! Stop goofing around!!

MJ: Sorry sis...

Marin: If I hear even a peep out of you, I'm gonna mallet you.

MJ: No! Anything but that!

Marin: You know, one day we need to something normal for once.

MJ: Whatever.

LUIGI
AS
LUIGI OF THE PIPES- I mean STARS

Luigi: Slort! Get going.

Slort: [Huh?]

Luigi: Stay well... Splog, I'm gonna stop running, I'm gonna begin all over again.

Slort: [Oh shut up, you already came back to life once.] *drags him away*

Luigi: You ruined my scene!

MJ
AS
MARIO JR.

~MJ is having a hard time reaching a ladder~

MJ: Great, I'm too old... Oh well. *seconds pass* A Mario like me doesn't know defeat! *jumps and grabs the ladder* Gotcha!

NARRATOR
AS NARRATOR

Narrator: I don't think I get an ending scene.

OH

Ditto McCloaker

*they scramble out onto the airship*

Sapphire: *opens her umbrella and takes off ahead of them* FOLLOW ME!

Vorpal: Yay, everything turned out well. Go us.

Golem: Nothing else could possibly go wrong.

Masamune: Wow, it's good to have good Ditto back, eh?

*turns to Ditto and pulls off the hood, only to reveal... NOTHING. They crumple into a heap*

Masamune: ...He was right here.

Vorpal: That's impossible. We saw Ditto's grave with our own eyes. He's been dead for quite some time now.

*cold wind whips past*

Everyone: *shudders uncertainly*

Luigi: It says here that Terra loses her powers right around now-

*giant laser bolt shoots from out of Ditto's Domain and reduces Saph's umbrella to wires, and she plummets*

Dark Ditto: *far-away-sounding laughter*

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