Gamehiker Member OG 4 Page 1

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SteveT

~Deep in the shadows, the gods are locked in debate~

One: The OGs are no longer under our control.
Two: Too much has changed. We must begin again.
Three: It is the only way.
One: Then it is decided. We shall create a new OG.
Three: But by whose hand shall it be done?
One: Not it.
Two: Not it.
Three: Oh, fine...

~Blue letters rise to the surface of a dark pool~

Gamehiker Member OG IV: Cheesecake of the Gods

~Lightning flashes over a small diner in the desert~

~Darkness~

~A light turns on. All you see is a cheesecake on a shelf. A giant face comes into view~

Luigi_64: Yo, yo, yo, that's money! Cheesecake!

Arab Dude: Employees only!

Luigi_64: Nah, homes. It's cool. I'm just scoring some cheesecake, yo.

Arab Dude: Get out of my refrigerator! I serve the cheesecake around here.

Luigi_64: If it bugs you so much, I'll just take da cake and sit down, A.D.

Arab Dude: I'm charging double.

~Thunder sounds, and the lights go out~

~When power returns, Luigi_64 is sitting at a table, his face in the cheesecake. All the surrounding tables are filled with the Gamehikers~

Yami Yoshi: He's not breathing.

SteveT: Good.

Masamune: Oh darn...

SteveT: I was kind of worried for a second. He was still moving when I let go.

Luigi: At least he died young. Having two characters with the same first name gets rather burdensome.

SteveT: I killed him.

Vorpal: Who do you think killed him?

SteveT: I did.

Golem: It could have been any one of us.

SteveT: No, just me.

GORE: No one leaves until we find out.

SteveT: You already did.

MJ: But how will we figure this out.

SteveT: I just told you.

~The door to the diner flings open, and a flash of lightning reveals Straw Man, dressed like Sherlock Holmes~

Straw Man: I see we have a mystery on our hands.

Chibi Devil: You can say that again.

Straw Man: I see we have a mystery on our hands.

Chibi Devil: You can say that again.

Straw Man: I see we have a mystery on our hands.

Chibi Devil: You can say that again.

Straw Man: I see we have a mystery on our hands.

Chibi Devil: You can say that again.

Straw Man: I see...wait, you just told me to stop saying that.

Chibi Devil: No I didn't.

Straw Man: You can say that again

Chibi Devil: No I—what? Hey!

Straw Man: Now then, I shall examine the evidence. Who last spoke to Luigi_64?

Vorpal: I believe it was Arab Dude.

SteveT: I think I might have said something to him while I was killing him.

Straw Man: Well then, Arab Dude is our prime suspect.

~Straw Man examines Luigi_64 and the cheesecake~

Straw Man: I have it! See these footprints? The pattern of the crumbs? The fingerprints on the cake? It's so obvious!

Masamune: What is?

SteveT: That I killed him. Obvious because I told you I did.

Straw Man: Just a moment. ~Flips through Straw Man's Book of Citation~ Yes, I'm sure of it.

Golem: Well tell us already!

Straw Man: The killer is gone. You must travel to Boston...or as I call it, Rocketsville III. Many things are amiss in that city. I have a feeling you'll find your killer there.

~Lightning strikes one final time, and the storm blows away~

Luiigii of the Pipes

~In Boston there exists a man. His name is Tortilla the Hun. He has the power to cook any pseudo-Mexican food in ten seconds flat. But since this story is about cheesecake, he can cook that too. He also hosts his own TV show, which involves more knife-throwing and product-pushing than actual cooking. It's on right now in Arab Dude's diner.~

Tortilla: That's right, viewers. *I* killed Luigi_64 in cold cheesecake. Do not ask how I got from here to Las Vegas in such a short time, and how I got back in an even shorter time. And now, let's learn how to make the perfect burrito with anchovies and just a hint of candle wax...

Straw Man: Our first suspect!

SteveT: I hate you.

Masamune

Masamune: We'll take the Swordefeller!

Steve: I sold it.

Dodo: It's gone!

Masamune: Who could have done this!?

Steve: Me.

Masamune: When I find the man who did this, they shall rue the day...

Steve: Plenty of rueing over here.

Luigi: Fortunately I brought a Jedi Star Fighter.

Masamune: Really?

Luigi: No, but it would've been a good idea.

Vorpal: In that case, we'll take the Vorp-Mobile!

~A big V flashes across the screen~

Masamune: How did we get here?

Vorpal: Cheap special effects. Behold, you are in the Vorp Cave!

Narrator: The screen pans out to a huge chasm. Inside is a V-shaped Jet, a huge supercomputer, a big screen TV equipped with a wall of game slots for every game possible, a surround sound system surrounded by a cozy pad of sofas and chairs, a huge industrial size refridgerator, a private kitched and dinette, a swimming pool and spa, a golf course, two basketball courts, a padded room for fencing, a three level dungeon, a giant aquarium, and-

Marin: Okay! We get it, he has a lot of stuff. Sheesh.

Goombutler: *in snobby, british accent* Will you be going out with your friends, Master Hamilton?

Vorpal: Don't tell them my secret identity!

Goombutler: You went through half of GMOG as Hamilton.

Vorpal: Dammit!

Steve: Interesting. *writes that down*

Vorpal: Anyways. *walks over to a sleek purple car that is definitely not anything like the Wario Car* The Vorp Mobile!

Golem: We all won't fit in that.

Vorpal: Fine. We'll take the Vorp Tour Bus. *points to a big bus/RV that is also purple and black*

Fred: How exactly did you get all this?

Vorpal: When I stole the Vorpal sword back from Murasame, I snatched his credit card.

~Inside the Vorp Tour Bus, Vorpal is driving with GORE-ILLA stuffed in the passenger seat as 'co-pilot'~

GORE: On the road again... oh I can't want to get on the road again...

Vorpal: You're two OGs late for that.

GORE: Darn.

Mario Jr.

~As the tour bus is driving down the highway, a woman is seen at the side of the road exposing her leg.~

Vorpal: Whoa! What was that?

GORE: Temptation.

Vorpal: I think that girl was pregnant. We should go back and help her out.

~MJ jumps up from his seat~

MJ: No! That woman is nothing but trouble.

GORE: I take it you recognize that woman.

Marin/MJ: Yes/No.

Marin: :roll: That's MJ's wife. Princess Andromeda of the [color=violet]Coral Kingdom[/color].

MJ: Damn you!

GORE: You're married?

MJ: Unfortunately yes.

GORE: I feel sorry for your wife.

MJ: Well you know what!? You better start feeling sorry for yourselves if you let her on the bus.

Andi: Let who on the bus?

MJ: Vorpal!

Vorpal: Sorry. My good summaritan genes got the best of me. I couldn't help it.

Andi: MJ! I travel the world looking for your sorry deadbeat ass and you don't so much as give your wife a hello.

MJ: Sign the divorce papers and then we'll talk.

Andi: We're talking now.

MJ: Damn you, woman!

Masamune

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