Gamehiker Member OG 4 Page 2

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Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

Dark Ditto: I shall deal with this hobo personally. Long have I watched him from the shadows, secretly directing his life toward evil. Now he has cast it off like snakeskin. This simply won't do.

Don Cornmuffin: How do you plan to stop him, my son?

Dark Ditto: If he could be turned... again... he could be a powerful ally. And I can do this.

~Dark Ditto transforms into Murasame.~

Roy: Right... since he didn't, y'know, help kill Murasame in the last story.

Dark Ditto: Good point. I could hardly be associated with such bad tastes in writing anyway.

~Dark Ditto transforms into Ashley.~

Dark Ditto: We all know that he cherishes his daughter, despite the fact that she hasn't even been born yet. I shall use her to bring him to our side.

***

SteveT: I'm just so sick of this, y'know? My first official villainous act on my own, and everyone thinks it wasn't me. And now I'm a minion. AGAIN! I'm not sure if I can really feel pain, being heartless, but this is about as close as it gets.

~SteveT looks down at the shattered heart fragments in his hand.~

TeevC: I understand. I'll help you.

SteveT: You will?

TeevC: No! You broke my heart! ~sobs~

SteveT: . . .

***

~Luigi runs away from the volcano with Kermit the Frog riding on his back.~

Kermit the Frog: Focus your mind! Be wary of the Dark Side!

Luigi: Do I really need this?

Kermit the Frog: I guess not. ~hops away~

Author: SOAP

Marin: Not so fast there, buddy!

(Marin clobbers Masa at the back of his head with her mallet.)

Masa: Ow! What was that far?

Marin: Where the hell is my brother?

Masa: I dunno! We lost him after the third post.

(Marin whacks him again.)

Masa: Hey! Quit that!

Marin: That's for leaving my brother behind. *hits him again* And that's for giving me crappy one-liners and making me out be some pms-driven pscho-chick! And futher more---

Narrator: And so, Masa began whipped by MJ's sister---

Marin: You want some of this too!? *waves her mallet franticly*

Narrator: Erm... no Ma'am...

[Meanwhile, back at page one still...]

Andi: Do your friends leave you behind like this all the time?

MJ: Pretty much.

Andi: We should stop for directions.

MJ: You should go back to the hellmouth you crawled from and let me find my friends.

Andi: Yeah right! And by the way, we passed that tree five time already. Admit it, we're lost.

MJ: We are not lost... I'll show you.

(MJ walks off the righthand side of the screen and magically wides up on the leftside).

MJ: Okay, we're lost.

Andi: MJ, you are the King of Cliches. (Rolling Eyes)

[Back to Masa and Marin]

Marin: --and another thing! Cheesecake of the Gods? What kind of half-assed name is that? And I'm cold! And my feet hurt! And just like that I forgot what I was angry about.

Masa: Good. Can we go to the past now.

Marin: Yes.

Author: GORE-ILLA

*GORE, Dodo and Rhyk drop from the sky, crushing Marin.*

GORE: Wow, that had to be our longest fall yet.

Rhyk: About a whole page. Nowhere near the time Tuxedo Max's fall in Rocketsville is, but it's still a start.

Dodo: So what's going on here?

GORE: I'm not sure. I'm half-asleep now so I'll walk around and kill things.

Dodo: Have fun.

Rhyk: Wait there's that other robot guy, whatsizface... Steve! This is the OG where he's good, right?

GORE: No, there is no OG where he's good. he's probably here to inflict some sort of pain on us.

Rhyk: So we have to fight him.

GORE: Yes. This time we take him toget- NO NO NO!!!

Rhyk: Uh... what's wrong?

GORE: I almost went into the Dooku battle rom Episode III. That wouldn't be good since that's the same battle I used bin my last post.

Rhyk: Also that's a sword fight, and we don't really have swords.

GORE: Right! Exactly what I was thinking! We need a good physical combat scene. DBZ would work perfectly if I could remember any good fights that would have helped. But I can't.

Rhyk: That's rough. How about something from a martial arts movie? We could go Karate Kid or something on them.

GORE: Haven't really watched any, at least recently. I'm running out of ideas here.

Rhyk: Well if you really can't think of any copyrighted media objects to parody, why not just write an original fight scene?

GORE: Really? Alright, I guess so...

Rhyk: Hey, where'd Steve go?

*GORE and Rhyk look over to see Dodo finishing off Steve.*

Dodo: Yeah, walk away! Walk away! Bitch.

GORE: Aw, you ruined all the fun.

Masa: I'm here too.

Author: Masamune

GORE: No you're not.

Masamune: Oh. *leaves*

~somewhere else?~

Vorpal: Done yet?

Masamune: Yes...

Marin: GOOD.

Slort: [Had to leave us with psyho lady...]

Marin: I heard that.

Slort: [Did not, none of you did. You don't even speak Goombelli!]

Masamune: Then why put it in brackets.

Slort: [Well...] Ignay ugum goola.

Vorpal: Haha, ugum...

Slort: [I hate you.]

Masamune: We still have to stop Count Dittof.

Vorpal: Well... I dunno, he tried to kill us...

Masamune: I suppose you might say everyone has a Count Dittof. For some people, shyness may be your Count Dittof. For others, lack of education may be an Count Dittof. But for us, Count Dittof is the actualy Count Dittof who wants to kill us.

Vorpal: That makess sense. I guess.

Marin: Does not.

Masamune: I think it's time.

Vorpal: But... we can't, not without Ditto...

Masamune: Marin will just have to do.

Marin: Bah.

Masamune: Suit up!

~Cue scene where they suit up but I'm not doing cuz I already did and the post was lost~

~The three are now in black jackets with black pants that have fancy white stitching in curly designs and such and matching black sombreros with the same sort of stitching. Slort has a sombrero too~

Masamune: Where there is injustice, you will find us.

Vorpal: Where there is suffering, we'll be there.

Marin: Um. Line?

Slort: [Wherever liberty...]

Marin: Oh, Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find...

All: THE THREE POINT FIVE COMPAÑEROS! *they make a stupid pose*

Vorpal: Man, that was good. We're on fire.

Marin: I did miss a line.

Masamune: Eh, the editors will get it. People will never notice.

Marin: Did Ditto really wear this? It's kinda tight on me...

~Vorpal and Masa snicker~

Marin: I hate you two.

Vorpal: We ride!

Marin: On what?

Vorpal: *hits a button on glove and suddenly three motorcycles drive up without riders. One has a basket. They're all black and purple with 'V's on the front* The Vorp-Cycles!

Masamune: Awesome!

Marin: Do I have to ride with Slort in the basket?

Slort: [Don't patronize me.]

Vorpal: Yes.

Marin: Was there always 3.5 members?

Masamune: Yeah... *sniffs* Giuseppe was the .5 before...

Author: SOAP

Andi: Why is it that you hate me so?

MJ: You tried to kill me!

<flash back>

(In MJ's bedroom, his wife steps in from the shawer and looks at her husband lovingly. Then a menacing smile creeps across her face and she takes out her mallet and hols it high above her head.)

Andi: Finallly! The Mushroom Crown is MINE!

MJ: *wakes up* Buh!? Andi...? What the hell are you doing here? I had a restraining order on you! You're not supposed to be within 500 feet of me.

Andi: *lowers mallet* Waffles? (Very Happy)

</end flashback>

Andi: What kind of BS is that? That never happened.

MJ: It was this morning... Um, what are you doing with that mallet?

Andi: *lowers mallet* Oh this? *laughs nervously* It's nothing...

MJ: Anyways. I think we should at least try a trial separation. Taking some time apart might do us some good.

Andi: Nope. We ain't having any of that.

MJ: But I need my space! You're driving me crazy!

Andi: Well, you can always kill yourself. I never said you didn't have options.

MJ: I can't believe I'm hearing this. You aren't the mermaid I married.

Andi: It's those stupid OGers! They've turned you against me. with their goody two-shoe morals and lies about a place in the story and being part of the bigger purpose. Come back to me the Role Playing world. You and I could be main characters again. And together we could rule the storyline abd bend the plot to our will.

MJ: Andi... you're going down a dark place I cannot follow...

Andi: If you're not with me.... then you are my enemy.

MJ: Andi... *sob* You're breaking my heart....

Andi: *strangles MJ*

MJ: Gah! *chokes* Andi! I can't... breathe.

Andi: Good!

(That's when THE THREE POINT FIVE COMPAÑEROS step in.)

Masa: Okay that's enough.

(Vorpal grabs Andi from behind and pulls her off of MJ.)

Andi: No! Let me do it! Let me do it! Everyone wants to!

(Masa slaps a pair of handcuffs on Andi.)

Andi: Huh?

Masa: You're under arrest for parodying a Star Wars movie without a license.

Marin: *elbows Masa*

Masa: Er, and trying to kill our friend MJ.

Andi: But I can't go to prison... My baby. *faints*

Vorpal: Dude! We should get her to the hospital!

MJ: She's faking it. Haven't you guys seen Chicago?

Vorpal: She looks pregnant.

MJ: She's just been packing on a few pounds.

Marin: Her water just broke!

MJ: Wait. She's really pregnant?

Masa: Oh for the luvva.... Now I'll never get on with the storyline. Hold up. I have an idea--

***

(The scene shifts, and Masa, Vorp, and Mare are back on the road again.)

Marin: Hey! We just left MJ behind again.

Masa: I never said it was a good idea.

Marin: But his wife is about to give birth!

Masa: They'll be fine. Mario's are very resourceful.

Marin: Well, I'm not going along with you guys until you turn around and go back.

(Masa turns around, puts on some shades, and holds up a strange pen-like device.)

Masa: Marin, lookie here!

Marin: Oooo... pretty pen.

*BRIGHT FLASH*

Masa: How was the zoo, Mare?

Marin: Red pandas are silly! Ha ha!

Vorpal: Hey! Where did you get that thing.

Masa: Funny story actually--

*BRIGHT FLASH*

Vorpal: What were we talking about again?

Masa: You owing me money.

Vorpal: Oh yeah! *hands him all his gold coins*

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

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