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Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

Dark Ditto: I shall deal with this hobo personally. Long have I watched him from the shadows, secretly directing his life toward evil. Now he has cast it off like snakeskin. This simply won't do.

Don Cornmuffin: How do you plan to stop him, my son?

Dark Ditto: If he could be turned... again... he could be a powerful ally. And I can do this.

~Dark Ditto transforms into Murasame.~

Roy: Right... since he didn't, y'know, help kill Murasame in the last story.

Dark Ditto: Good point. I could hardly be associated with such bad tastes in writing anyway.

~Dark Ditto transforms into Ashley.~

Dark Ditto: We all know that he cherishes his daughter, despite the fact that she hasn't even been born yet. I shall use her to bring him to our side.

***

SteveT: I'm just so sick of this, y'know? My first official villainous act on my own, and everyone thinks it wasn't me. And now I'm a minion. AGAIN! I'm not sure if I can really feel pain, being heartless, but this is about as close as it gets.

~SteveT looks down at the shattered heart fragments in his hand.~

TeevC: I understand. I'll help you.

SteveT: You will?

TeevC: No! You broke my heart! ~sobs~

SteveT: . . .

***

~Luigi runs away from the volcano with Kermit the Frog riding on his back.~

Kermit the Frog: Focus your mind! Be wary of the Dark Side!

Luigi: Do I really need this?

Kermit the Frog: I guess not. ~hops away~

Author: SOAP

Marin: Not so fast there, buddy!

(Marin clobbers Masa at the back of his head with her mallet.)

Masa: Ow! What was that far?

Marin: Where the hell is my brother?

Masa: I dunno! We lost him after the third post.

(Marin whacks him again.)

Masa: Hey! Quit that!

Marin: That's for leaving my brother behind. *hits him again* And that's for giving me crappy one-liners and making me out be some pms-driven pscho-chick! And futher more---

Narrator: And so, Masa began whipped by MJ's sister---

Marin: You want some of this too!? *waves her mallet franticly*

Narrator: Erm... no Ma'am...

[Meanwhile, back at page one still...]

Andi: Do your friends leave you behind like this all the time?

MJ: Pretty much.

Andi: We should stop for directions.

MJ: You should go back to the hellmouth you crawled from and let me find my friends.

Andi: Yeah right! And by the way, we passed that tree five time already. Admit it, we're lost.

MJ: We are not lost... I'll show you.

(MJ walks off the righthand side of the screen and magically wides up on the leftside).

MJ: Okay, we're lost.

Andi: MJ, you are the King of Cliches. (Rolling Eyes)

[Back to Masa and Marin]

Marin: --and another thing! Cheesecake of the Gods? What kind of half-assed name is that? And I'm cold! And my feet hurt! And just like that I forgot what I was angry about.

Masa: Good. Can we go to the past now.

Marin: Yes.

Author: GORE-ILLA

*GORE, Dodo and Rhyk drop from the sky, crushing Marin.*

GORE: Wow, that had to be our longest fall yet.

Rhyk: About a whole page. Nowhere near the time Tuxedo Max's fall in Rocketsville is, but it's still a start.

Dodo: So what's going on here?

GORE: I'm not sure. I'm half-asleep now so I'll walk around and kill things.

Dodo: Have fun.

Rhyk: Wait there's that other robot guy, whatsizface... Steve! This is the OG where he's good, right?

GORE: No, there is no OG where he's good. he's probably here to inflict some sort of pain on us.

Rhyk: So we have to fight him.

GORE: Yes. This time we take him toget- NO NO NO!!!

Rhyk: Uh... what's wrong?

GORE: I almost went into the Dooku battle rom Episode III. That wouldn't be good since that's the same battle I used bin my last post.

Rhyk: Also that's a sword fight, and we don't really have swords.

GORE: Right! Exactly what I was thinking! We need a good physical combat scene. DBZ would work perfectly if I could remember any good fights that would have helped. But I can't.

Rhyk: That's rough. How about something from a martial arts movie? We could go Karate Kid or something on them.

GORE: Haven't really watched any, at least recently. I'm running out of ideas here.

Rhyk: Well if you really can't think of any copyrighted media objects to parody, why not just write an original fight scene?

GORE: Really? Alright, I guess so...

Rhyk: Hey, where'd Steve go?

*GORE and Rhyk look over to see Dodo finishing off Steve.*

Dodo: Yeah, walk away! Walk away! Bitch.

GORE: Aw, you ruined all the fun.

Masa: I'm here too.

Author: Masamune

GORE: No you're not.

Masamune: Oh. *leaves*

~somewhere else?~

Vorpal: Done yet?

Masamune: Yes...

Marin: GOOD.

Slort: [Had to leave us with psyho lady...]

Marin: I heard that.

Slort: [Did not, none of you did. You don't even speak Goombelli!]

Masamune: Then why put it in brackets.

Slort: [Well...] Ignay ugum goola.

Vorpal: Haha, ugum...

Slort: [I hate you.]

Masamune: We still have to stop Count Dittof.

Vorpal: Well... I dunno, he tried to kill us...

Masamune: I suppose you might say everyone has a Count Dittof. For some people, shyness may be your Count Dittof. For others, lack of education may be an Count Dittof. But for us, Count Dittof is the actualy Count Dittof who wants to kill us.

Vorpal: That makess sense. I guess.

Marin: Does not.

Masamune: I think it's time.

Vorpal: But... we can't, not without Ditto...

Masamune: Marin will just have to do.

Marin: Bah.

Masamune: Suit up!

~Cue scene where they suit up but I'm not doing cuz I already did and the post was lost~

~The three are now in black jackets with black pants that have fancy white stitching in curly designs and such and matching black sombreros with the same sort of stitching. Slort has a sombrero too~

Masamune: Where there is injustice, you will find us.

Vorpal: Where there is suffering, we'll be there.

Marin: Um. Line?

Slort: [Wherever liberty...]

Marin: Oh, Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find...

All: THE THREE POINT FIVE COMPAÑEROS! *they make a stupid pose*

Vorpal: Man, that was good. We're on fire.

Marin: I did miss a line.

Masamune: Eh, the editors will get it. People will never notice.

Marin: Did Ditto really wear this? It's kinda tight on me...

~Vorpal and Masa snicker~

Marin: I hate you two.

Vorpal: We ride!

Marin: On what?

Vorpal: *hits a button on glove and suddenly three motorcycles drive up without riders. One has a basket. They're all black and purple with 'V's on the front* The Vorp-Cycles!

Masamune: Awesome!

Marin: Do I have to ride with Slort in the basket?

Slort: [Don't patronize me.]

Vorpal: Yes.

Marin: Was there always 3.5 members?

Masamune: Yeah... *sniffs* Giuseppe was the .5 before...

Author: SOAP

Andi: Why is it that you hate me so?

MJ: You tried to kill me!

<flash back>

(In MJ's bedroom, his wife steps in from the shawer and looks at her husband lovingly. Then a menacing smile creeps across her face and she takes out her mallet and hols it high above her head.)

Andi: Finallly! The Mushroom Crown is MINE!

MJ: *wakes up* Buh!? Andi...? What the hell are you doing here? I had a restraining order on you! You're not supposed to be within 500 feet of me.

Andi: *lowers mallet* Waffles? (Very Happy)

</end flashback>

Andi: What kind of BS is that? That never happened.

MJ: It was this morning... Um, what are you doing with that mallet?

Andi: *lowers mallet* Oh this? *laughs nervously* It's nothing...

MJ: Anyways. I think we should at least try a trial separation. Taking some time apart might do us some good.

Andi: Nope. We ain't having any of that.

MJ: But I need my space! You're driving me crazy!

Andi: Well, you can always kill yourself. I never said you didn't have options.

MJ: I can't believe I'm hearing this. You aren't the mermaid I married.

Andi: It's those stupid OGers! They've turned you against me. with their goody two-shoe morals and lies about a place in the story and being part of the bigger purpose. Come back to me the Role Playing world. You and I could be main characters again. And together we could rule the storyline abd bend the plot to our will.

MJ: Andi... you're going down a dark place I cannot follow...

Andi: If you're not with me.... then you are my enemy.

MJ: Andi... *sob* You're breaking my heart....

Andi: *strangles MJ*

MJ: Gah! *chokes* Andi! I can't... breathe.

Andi: Good!

(That's when THE THREE POINT FIVE COMPAÑEROS step in.)

Masa: Okay that's enough.

(Vorpal grabs Andi from behind and pulls her off of MJ.)

Andi: No! Let me do it! Let me do it! Everyone wants to!

(Masa slaps a pair of handcuffs on Andi.)

Andi: Huh?

Masa: You're under arrest for parodying a Star Wars movie without a license.

Marin: *elbows Masa*

Masa: Er, and trying to kill our friend MJ.

Andi: But I can't go to prison... My baby. *faints*

Vorpal: Dude! We should get her to the hospital!

MJ: She's faking it. Haven't you guys seen Chicago?

Vorpal: She looks pregnant.

MJ: She's just been packing on a few pounds.

Marin: Her water just broke!

MJ: Wait. She's really pregnant?

Masa: Oh for the luvva.... Now I'll never get on with the storyline. Hold up. I have an idea--

***

(The scene shifts, and Masa, Vorp, and Mare are back on the road again.)

Marin: Hey! We just left MJ behind again.

Masa: I never said it was a good idea.

Marin: But his wife is about to give birth!

Masa: They'll be fine. Mario's are very resourceful.

Marin: Well, I'm not going along with you guys until you turn around and go back.

(Masa turns around, puts on some shades, and holds up a strange pen-like device.)

Masa: Marin, lookie here!

Marin: Oooo... pretty pen.

*BRIGHT FLASH*

Masa: How was the zoo, Mare?

Marin: Red pandas are silly! Ha ha!

Vorpal: Hey! Where did you get that thing.

Masa: Funny story actually--

*BRIGHT FLASH*

Vorpal: What were we talking about again?

Masa: You owing me money.

Vorpal: Oh yeah! *hands him all his gold coins*

Author: SteveT

~Meanwhile, in GORE's Post~

Dodo: Steve...T. At least we meet.

SteveT: When did I get here?

Dodo: More like...when did your DOOM get here?

SteveT: So that's the game we're playing, eh?

Dodo: What else would it be? A game of talking only in questions? *pecks Steve*

Steve: Hey! *punches Dodo*

Dodo: *keeps pecking*

Steve: Screw this, I'm leaving.

Dodo: Yeah, walk away! Walk away! Bitch.

SteveT: Straw Man! Liger! Bring forth the Lead Zeppelin! I have been...dented. To Las Vegas!

Straw Man: They're not dents. They're beauty marks.

Masa *from the distance*: I'm here too

*The Lead Zeppelin arrives, and they board it. It takes off again in the direction of Las Vegas, home of Scott Smith.*

Liger: That bird's still behind us!

Steve: More power to the engines.

Scott: I'm giving you all she's got, Cap'n!

Straw Man: You're not even here.

Scott: Clearly I am.

Liger: No, I think Straw Man's right for once.

Straw Man: Am not.

Scott: *was never there*

*The Zeppellin shakes*

Straw Man: Hull breach everywhere! We're going down!

Liger: The bird's on board.

Steve: Keep the Zeppelin going. I'll take care of him. *Goes into the back of the ship*

~Minutes later~

*Dodo walks into a room, and sees three dented suits of armor identical to SteveT*

Dodo: I know you're here. *pecks the first armor*

First armor: *Doesn't move*

Dodo: Hmm, that must not be it. It didn't move. *pecks the second*

Second armor: *jumps*

Dodo: No noise, but I'll just assume I hit it. *pecks the third*

Third armor: *Doesn't move.*

Dodo: This is all very confusing.

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

~The THREE POINT FIVE COMPAÑEROS ride up to Ashley, circle around her a few times, then park their V-cycles.~

Masamune: You. Chica. Weren't you rubbed out of this series by Murasame some time ago?

Ashley: No.

Vorpal: Have you seen this man? ~holds up a picture of Count Dittof~

Ashley: No.

Marin: Can you take this goomba? The smell is driving me crazy.

Slort: (demonic face)

Ashley: No.

Masamune: Okay. Carry on.

~The THREE POINT FIVE COMPAÑEROS ride away. Ashley grins evilly and transforms into Dark Ditto.~

Dark Ditto: Fools. Fools fools fools fools fools. You'd think they'd know better how to track the real McCloaker.

***

Luigi: I've failed to stop the cornmuffin syndicate. I must go into exile.

~Luigi looks over a giant swamp.~

Luigi: The summer home goes there. Pool goes there. I'll put the billiards on that side. I could open these trees up, get some sun... It'll be just like home.

Ashley: Luigi. Your blood is strong in me, for I am your daughter.

Luigi: ~turns and appraises Ashley~ You move like my daughter. You wear the trappings of my daughter. But you are not my daughter.

~Transform.~

Dark Ditto: Well spotted, my good fellow. You remember me, yes? Your old pal, Ditto?

Luigi: . . . No.

Dark Ditto: Come now. I've mentored you for years. I've scrutinized your every work. I've downloaded every piece you've ever done. ~holds up a fat floppy disc~ Have you ever seen a disc BULGE before?

Luigi: Sorry. I don't remember that.

Dark Ditto: Yes you do.

Luigi: Are you sure you're not confusing reality here?

Dark Ditto: Come with me.

~Dark Ditto takes Luigi back to his mansion in Rocketsville III.~

Dark Ditto: Lovely, isn't it? Ah, and here come my orphans.

~Little Flutter walks up holding an empty bowl.~

Flutter: Please sah. I want some 'ore.

Dark Ditto: You want some "'ore?"

Flutter: Yes sah.

Dark Ditto: All right! ~hands Flutter an oar~ There's your 'ore! BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA!

~Flutter kicks Dark Ditto in the shin and runs crying to his room, never to be seen again.~

Dark Ditto: Mangy little...

Little Elzie: Ahem.

~Elzie and Little Big Al step back to reveal a table with two plates of spaghetti.~

Elzie: Dinner is served.

~Dark Ditto walks up and glares into Elzie's face.~

Dark Ditto: Where... is the roast beef?

Elzie: Um... you didn't ask for roast beef.

Dark Ditto: Yes I did! To your room!

~Elzie kicks Dark Ditto in the shin and runs scoffing to her room, never to be seen again.~

Dark Ditto: Lousy little...

Big Al: You can't do that! We worked hard to--

~Dark Ditto slaps Big Al across the face.~

Dark Ditto: You saw it. The boy fell. Go to your room.

~Big Al kicks Dark Ditto in the shin and runs blubbering to his room, never to be seen again.~

Dark Ditto: Ugly little... WELL! Now then, dinner is served.

Luigi: I don't like spaghetti.

Dark Ditto: . . .

Author: SOAP

(Meanwhile, MJ was trying frantically to figure how to deliver the baby on his own.)

MJ: I must have something.... I can use...

(He looks inside his backpack and pulls out a plunger.)

Andi: What the hell are you going to do with that!?

MJ: How else am I going to get the baby out?

Andi: Keep that thing away from me! Take me to the water!

MJ: Why?

Andi: Our baby will die if it's born born outside the water.

MJ: Oh. Right.

(Mj looks around. Luckily they were near the ocean MJ picks Andi and carries her to the beach. He cuts across the sand, not paying to all the people looking at him like some madman.)

Surfer Dude 1: What's he doing with that chick?

Surfer Dude 2: I don't know, braw, but she looks pretty fat.

Surfer Girl: She's pregnant you dumbass!

(Once in the water, MJ gently lowers Andi down, completely submerging her body.)

Surfer Dude 3: Dude! He's trying to drown her!

Surfer Dude 4: Let's get him!

(MJ watches Andi transform magically tranform into a pink dolphin right before his eyes. He caresses her blubbery skin gently to try to get her to relax.)

MJ: It's going to be alright, Andi.

Surfer Dude 1: Hey you?

MJ: Huh?

Surfer Dude 1: What the hell you think you're doing!?

(The badly sunburned ttenager swing a punch at MJ but a seagull swoops down from out no where and pecks him.)

Surfer Dude 1: What the hell!?

(Another seagull appears and pcks him, this time leavingg a nasty gash on his forehead.)

Surfer Dude 1: Dude! This is so not cool!

(Soon there was a whole swarm of seagulls attacking the surfers and everyone ran off screaming.)

Surfer 2: This is so gnarly!

Surfer 3: Let's get out of here, braw!

(Once the beach was clear, the seagulls flew off, leaving MJ totally by himself. Eventually, the water's surface started to bubble up and Andi appeared back in her human form, carrying her newborn baby in her arms.)

MJ: It's a boy!

(Indeed it was. It was a human baby boy who resembled MJ only it had Andi's shimmering pink hair and almond shaped green eyes.)

Andi: His name will be click click clikity clik *high pitch squeling noises*

MJ: Wow. He's going have a hard time in first grade trying to spell that.

Andi: In your language it roughly translate to Sea Urchin.

MJ: That's better. But kids will still make fun of him.

Andi: Okay, let's get the hell out-of-here. If you don't catch up with Masa and the rest you'll be left out of the story again.

MJ: But... Our Role-Playing.

Andi: The RP world can wait. Your friends need you now. I'll will wait for you...

MJ: Thanks Andi... I didn't mean all those nasty things I said abut you.

Andi: And I didn't mean to try to kill repeatedly and try to stalk you half across the universe. It's just these hormones make me kinda crazy.

MJ: I guess love kinda makes us all abit loopy.

Andi: I will remain here by the beach until the end of the OG.

MJ: I promise to come back for you shortly.

(MJ gave his wife one final kiss before heading towards the land. As he reached roadside, he looked over his shoulder one last time two see two dolphins leapings across the ocean and into the sunset.)

Author: Fred_of_the_Bed

(SteveT jumps out at Dodo, grabbing his neck. Dodo thorws him over his back, and rushes SteveT. SteveT ACTIONABLY sticks out his arm and clobbers Dodo, who falls to the ground. As SteveT stands over Dodo, Dodo's life flashes before his eyes.)
(In a forest, Dodo is a child. He is picked up by an ape and raised, growing into maturity over the course of one vine swing. He then meets a Woman named Jane and falls in love.)

Dodo: Wait, that's not my past! I could never! NOOOOOO!

SteveT: That's already been done. And the reference to it already have being done is done. And said reference to the referencing it has probably been done already. Face it Dodo, you're old hat.

Dodo: Never! Unless it was a living, plumed hat.

SteveT: Which is what you are about to become! (Towers)

Dodo: (Legs spin in a circle, and he runs unusually fast as SteveT finally decides to swipe his arms at him, just missing a la Scooby-Doo) RODO-ROO!

SteveT: Dayumn. Oh well, he was trying to kill me, I think. No, on further speculation I was keeping him busy. Well, I'll murder him in good time.

(Cut to Lupus in torcher chamber)

Lupus: Talk. Can't stop till I get enough.

(An interrogation droid moves up to Lady In Red and she spits at Lupus)

Lupus: Hey, watch it. Save it for the spit-collecting droids that come in later. WHERE IS THE REBEL BASE.

Yami Yoshi: Portugal. I'm sure of it.

Lupus: It obviously isn't, I know what we're doing a parody of. Anyways I will blow up alderaan IF YOU DO NOT TALK.

Yami Yoshi: You don't have the cobbles.

Lupus: Fred, charge the ANTI-COFFEE RAY.

Fred: No.

Lupus: YOU DARE DEFY ME?

Fred: It's just that... it doesn't exist. In this time and space, anyways. REGUARDINGLESS, we can execute the prisoners one after another.

Lupus: I just had a great idea! We can execute the prisoners one after another!

Fred: Well, er... Great idea sir!

Lupus: What, are you looking for a raise? Get out of here. And don't forget the upper-class shoe-fencing party at Rocketsville III tonight.

Fred: Do you think I could be payed in advance?

Lupus: mph... BWAHAHAHAHA! Yes you can.

(Lupus calls Masa on his phone)

Lupus: It's been awhile since we've talked, Masa.

Masa: You already got everything back from insurance, Lupus.

Lupus: I want the cheesecake back. All of it.

Masa: I don't need this conversation.

Lupus: I see, you're just going to hang up, enjoy your day, walk over to your V-Cycle and - (Masa walks to the V-cycle and it melts into cheese)

Masa: jigga what?

Lupus: I need Masa's eleven.

Masa: We're currently the THREE POINT FIVE COMPAÑEROS.

Lupus: Then I guess that'll have to do, huh punk? HUH, HUH! THAT'S RIGHT. DON'T MESS WITH THIS.

Masa: You didn't give me time to res-

Lupus: I SAID DON'T MESS WITH THIS.

(Lupus hangs up, cut to him in his room, with a list in his hand with five names. They are Yami Yoshi, Masamune, Murasame, Golem, and LOTP. A sixth name, John Cleese, has already been crossed off.)

Fred: Why did you specifically choose these people?

Lupus: Because.

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

~Golem smashes through a window into Lupus's tortuur chamber of doom, wearing all black.~

Golem: Doo doo... doo doo doo!

Yami Yoshi: Way to be subtle.

Lady in Red: Dearest! You have survived being shot!

Golem: Yeah. I don't think that was really very serious anyway.

~Golem proceeds to free (to keep track) Yami Yoshi, Lady in Red, Rebe, and Kuria.~

Yami Yoshi: Now that our female cast is active again, it will only be a matter of time before the OG is ours!

Golem: You know nothin' about OGs. Girls ruin them. Always.

~Glares.~

Golem: Is what everyone else says! Which is why we should go beat them up!

All: Yeah!

~They rush into Lupus's office.~

Fred: Oh no! Now they have the element of surprise! ~is overcome~

Lupus: Fools. To burst into my office means a sugary doom.

~Lupus grabs Fred and pounds a button on his desk. The room begins filling with delicious Canadian Maple Syrup. Lupus runs to the door... or would if his shoes weren't stuck.~

Lupus: Oh damn. And it would be completely illogical to take my shoes off and try to break for the door then, so I won't.

Yami: Oh shatmucker. We're stuck too.

Golem: This calls for us to put aside the differences that only recently returned and use teamwork to break out of--

~Kuria shoots Lupus in the shoulder with an arrow.~

Kuria: Way to distract him. Now I can finish him off.

Golem: What? I was serious!

Lupus: Your puny arrow does nothing against my bulletproof vest.

Fred: But it's bulletproof, not arrowproof.

Lupus: So true.

~Lupus collapses from his wound and sinks into the quickly rising maple syrup.~

Golem: Yami! You must eat us out of this mess!

Yami Yoshi: You can't eat maple syrup without pancakes and/or waffles and/or french toast. It's a rule.

Lady in Red: Never fear, boys.

~Lady in Red opens her umbrella and waits for a strong wind.~

Lady in Red: This worked so much better when I thought there was a strong wind...

Author: Luiigii of the Pipes

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