Story:Holiday Goers: Bane of Turkey's Existence
The archive of Holiday Goers: Bane of Turkey's Existence.
Narrator: After Halloween has gone and past, the OG people, their teeth nearly rotted from all the candy. And half-dead from the the Halloween related OGs, decide to take a well deserved break... however first they must prepare the food for their grand dinner.
Turkey: *yawn*
Narrator: So begins the first monthly Holiday Goers, A Thanksgiving OG!
Turkey: THANKSGIVING!? *runs*
Narrator: Will the OG members get their well deserved break, or will the usual happen and someone try and take over the world. Only fate and the turkey knows...
- Turkey runs to WWF HQ*
Turkey: Help!!! People are trying to...
- The Rock puts his hand in front of Turkey*
The Rock: Finally, the Rock HAS come back to the OG board.
Turkey: Uh, as I was saying. People are trying to eat me.
The Rock: Do you smell what the...
Turkey: Shut up with your stupid talking. Can you help me stop the VGF members from eating me?
The Rock: The Rock accepts your help. But first, let me ask you a question. What is your name?
- no response*
The Rock: Well... Who's trying to eat you?
Turkey: I already said...
The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO'S TRYING TO EAT YOU!
Narrator: Hey, quit the caps lock!!!
Vince McMahon: Man, this is stupid! Let's go back to the positive image the old school WWF of the 80s and really early 90s. no more middle fingers! Rock, you're fired. Hulk Hogan, you're hired. but only if you wear the yellow outfit.
And so, the WWF became cool again.
Meanwhile, back where the OG is SUPPOSED TO TAKE PLACE...
MagiKoopa: [looks at self] Dang it! I'm alive again.
Masamune: That's odd. When did you come in contact with Peppermint ice cream?
MagiKoopa: Good question.
Golem: Ooh, I know! Let's each invite a guest and have a huge Thanksgiving feast!
Masamune: Where'll we get the food?
MagiKoopa: Each person/thing can bring a dish.
Dude: How many guests can we bring?
Golem: As many that can each bring enough of their dish for everyone. And no, Koopa, you can't invite all of the Sailor Scouts.
MagiKoopa: [groans]
Masamune: BWAHAHA! Wait 'til you hear my evil plan
Dodo: Taking over the world again?
Masamune: No, I'm not going to and suprise everyone BWAHAHAHA! I'm going to bring Pineapple Ham to dinner!
Dodo: ... you are evil...
A few minutes later....
Masamune: AUGH!!
Dodo: *flaps in* What's wrong!?
Masamune: The ham... its smiling at me! How can I cook the poor pig?
Dodo: You must... it is your destiny!
Masamune: It's scary! Make it go away!
Magikoopa: Um.. can I invite Ryoko instead?
Golem: As long as it's Sapphire.
Magikoopa: [mutters to himself] I'll bring Bomberman and Meowth then, all right?
Golem: *shrug* I guess that will do.
Elsewhere...
Sapphire: [to herself] This looks to be a dull holiday. What havoc can one reak during thanksgiving? And more importantly, who will be doing the cooking?
[canned laughter]
Sapphire: What.. you expected it would be me?
[Canned laughter]
Sapphire: Pikachu, stop that!
She turns around to realize it's not Pikachu at all, it's..
...The turkey, whom after escaping from the clutches of it's cooker, Magikoopa, has come to prey on innocent feasters with canned laughter and nonsense antics.
Saphire: *suspenseful music* *walks up to the door*
Audience: Don't go in there! NOOOO!!!
Saphire: *turns the knob, slowly pulls the door open* AIIIEEEE!!!
Turkey: *canned laughter* Behold! The Pokedance!
Saphire: *covers her ears, closes her eyes shakes her head violently while screaming in horror*
Magikoopa: *opens oven* Hmmm... where did that turkey go?
MagiKoopa: Ah, well. time to make a phone call. [dials 23 digits]
[ring.... ring... click!]
Tenchi: Hello? Masaki residence.
MagiKoopa: Hey! Is Ryoko there?
Tenchi: Yeah, hang on a second.
A few shouts are exchanged between the main and top floor, and the phone changes hands.
Ryoko: Yeah?
MagiKoopa: [Golem's voice] Hey, Ryoko! Can you come over for Thanksgiving dinner?
Ryoko: Aww, you're such a cutie! I'd love to go, but I've got plans to spend some time with Tenchi, if ya know what I mean.
Another voice can be heard in the background.
Ayeka: And just what do you think you're doing? Tenchi is not yours to use as you please.
Ryoko: Aw, put a sock in it.
The two start fighting, and Koopa hears a few energy blasts exchanged. One hits Tenchi's phone, disintergrating it.
[shoooooommmmm--- BLA(click!)]
MagiKoopa: oh, well. I guess I could call around some more. I did say I'd invite Bomberman and Meowth.
A couple more phone calls are made.
Giovanni: No, Jessie and James's Meowth can't take a break! They're still trying to--- they've got plans.
Bomberman: Sorry, Koopa, I'm gonna be on Planet Bomber as one of Princess Millian's bodyguards.
MagiKoopa: Well, now what?
Koopa's Farfetch'd offers some advice.
Birdo: What else, stupid? The next plane for Crystal Tokyo leaves the Rocketsville airport in 45 minutes. You can teleport there.
MagiKoopa: What'll I do there?
Birdo: Duh! Pick a Sailor Scout to invite.
Magikoopa: I think I'll call them first, to make sure...
Birdo: Suit youself.
He makes a few more phone calls.
Sailor Moon: Oh hello MagiKoopa! I'm sorry, but I can't spend thanksgiving with you. You see, Darien and I...
Sailor Mercury: I have to do a lot of studying...
Magikoopa sighs. The next few calls go down the same length until finally Koopa gets Sailor Mars on the phone.. or so he thinks.
Sailor Mars: Sure! I'd be delighted to come.
Magikoopa: Well finally... [sighs in relief]
Birdo: (shrugs) You doubted me?
MagiKoopa: On to more important business. Like... what are we going to do about the food?
Sapphire: [Hangs up phone] Good thing I called the Sailor Scouts beforehand and my good friend Sailor Mars was able to help me out. [smiles at her new outfit] Now this ought to be interesting.
Meanwhile in the Masa residence....
Masamune: I decided to invite a Sailor Scout!
Dodo: Who?
Masamune: Behold, Sailor Man!
Sailor Man: Heh heh heh, Well blow me down!
Masamune: Behold a true Sailor... Whose secret identity is Popeye, but dont let anyone know!
Dodo: Excuse me... but the 'Sailor Man' is attempting to turn me into Thanksgivings Main course....
Masamune: STOP! Or no spinach for Thanksgiving!
Sailor Man: What!? Fine, Heh heh, no Dodo for dinner...
Somewhere in the southwest.
Taurus: Hey Groove, aren't we invited to some dinner?
Groove: Dinner? Oh, the turkey kind. Yeah, I'm tired of the desert, we need to live in the city.
Taurus: Can we pick up that Game Boy on the way?
Groove: Yes.
They drive the car to the Thanksgiving dinner; Meanwhile...
Birdo: Don't you watch the TV show, stupid?
MagiKoopa: Hey now! I don't appreciate--
Birdo: Sure, sure. Anyway, Lita (Sailor Jupiter's alter-ego) is a really good cook.
MagiKoopa: So, you're saying we invite her instead?
Birdo: No! I'm saying we invite her too.
MagiKoopa: Good idea! I almost forgot to call her.
A few minutes later...
Lita: [on the phone with Koopa] Wow! Sure, I'd love to come with ya!
MagiKoopa: Sailor Mars said she'll meet us when she gets off her plane at the Rocketsville Airport.
Lita: Okay, I'll meet you at the Crystal Tokyo airport to leave in 3 hours. Bye! [click]
Birdo: Success! Now, let's go, Koopa! uh... Koopa?
MagiKoopa: ... [drooling]
Birdo: Let's hope, for the sake of cleanliness in the story, that you're drooling over the thought of Lita's good cooking.
MagiKoopa: Works for me. To the airport!
Masamune: BEHOLD! A masterpeice! *opens stove*
Dodo: Ahh.. that's not the ham... it's boar...
Masamune: Bacon-bits didn't wanna get cooked...
- little pig runs around on the floor*
Dodo: You are supposed to kill it, then cook it.
Masamune: Kill it?
- canned laughter*
Dodo: What was that?
- canned laughter*
Masamune: Is that you Sailor Man?
- canned laughter*
Dodo: It's coming from the closet.... *both walk cautiously to the closet*
Audience: NOOOO! Don't do it!!!
Masamune: *slowly turns knob and pulls open*
Turkey: *pops out* Ahh! Nyuk nyuk nyuk! *tries to poke Dodo and Masamune in the eyes*
Masamune: AAAAAAAAAAA---
Dodo: ----AAAAAAAAAA-----
Masamune and Dodo: *gasp, gasp, gasp* ---AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
Turkey: *runs off to Golem's house*
<Page 2>
~At that moment, a form appears in the doorway... He steps into the light. He's wearing a plaid shirt, lumberjack pants, deer-trackin' boots, and a deer-huntin' cap that says "Assault rifles... Not just for Irresponsible Hunters Anymore!" In his hand is a hugh-jass blunderbuss (a gun where the mouth of the barrel is ridiculously wide).
Ditto: ...Heard ya'll we're havin' trouble with a ferocious woild tuh-key...
- waves the blunderbuss. Everyone flinches*
I'll land yer tuh-key fer ya... and Oi'll clean 'im fer free...
Dodo: Good! Here's a knife. *hands him a little knife*
Ditto: *chuckles* That's not a knoife... *Whips out a hugh-jass machete with niches carved in the handle* Now, this... is a knoife...
Dodo: What did you say you're name was agian?
Ditto: Dunditto... My friends coll me... "Turkey Dunditto!" Oi kin wrastle a full-grown man-eating tuh-key to the ground in foive minutes. Eat ya aloive, 'e will, given half a chance, 'ya know...
Masamune: Y'know, if I wasn't so terrified of ya, I'd pat ya on the back.
Meanwhile, on the way to Crystal Toyko to pick Lita up and return to Rocketsville to travel to (whereever the story takes place)...
Obvious Guy: Would've been a lot cheaper just to send Lita over here.
MagiKoopa: Shut the heck up! I wish we didn't get seated next to this guy from that Blind Date TV show!
Birdo: Be quiet. We're in first class on Air Nippon. Just sit back, read the paper, have some tea and relax.
MagiKoopa: Aahhh... [starts reading paper] eh? Hey, Birdo, check this out.
Koopa points out an article in the paper. Birdo begins reading it.
Birdo: Says here the Amazoness Quartet tried to steal some more people's dreams in Tokyo this week. good thing the Sailor Scouts stopped 'em!
MagiKoopa: I've got an idea.
Birdo: Heck no, Koopa. even you know that they're pawns of the Dark Moon. and don't you give me that "but, they're so cute!" crap.
Koopa gives Birdo his best sad eyes.
Birdo: Don't give me that look!
MagiKoopa: :sad :
Birdo: ....fine. but that's it for the guests we're bringing back with us. do you even know how much airplane tickets will cost?!
MagiKoopa: Not as much as you think... if you bought 'em offseason.
MagiKoopa shows off 7 plane tickets, priced at 500 bucks each.
Birdo: So, how do you plan to get them to fly w/you?
MagiKoopa: good question. let's read s'more. Hey! Flight attendant! More peppermint tea!
Koopa and Birdo browse the paper quickly. several minutes later....
MagiKoopa: I don't see anything. I give up.
Birdo: Hold it! [unfolds the page]
Birdo points to the undiscovered bottom half of the front page. They read together.
Birdo and Koopa: "Amazoness Quartet turned good!"
Birdo and Koopa scan the article. Its writer has interviewed the Amazoness Quartet, and they've recently given up their dream-revealing cue balls (and the immortality with them) for good.
MagiKoopa: How 'bout that? Now even they've got dreams.
Birdo: hmm..... I'm still a bit skeptical, but go ahead.
MagiKoopa: See? Now that the Amazoness Quartet is good again, Thanksgiving will be a blast!
Birdo: yeah, until they try to steal our dreams.
MagiKoopa: I was just gettin' to that! If anything goes wrong, we'll have Sailor Mars for backup.
Or will they?
Masamune: Sailor Scouts... Turkey Hunters.. what next?
Dodo: Do you really want to know?
Masamune: *frown* I guess so...
Dodo: I invited all my favorite Anime girls...
Masamune: Being...?
Dodo: The pretty ones.
Masamune: That says a lot. They're actually coming?
Dodo: Of course! They're in love with me!
Masamune: But you're a...
Dodo: They love a man with emotions and brains
Masamune: But you're a bird...
Dodo: *shrugs* They overlook things like that.
Masamune: *mumbles and walks back over to his cooked boar and begins slicing pineapples*
Ditto: 'Ey! Can Oi get an assistant ta carry my video camera whoile Oi'm out 'untin' the woild tuh-key?
Saph: Why can't Guisseppie do it?
Ditto: 'E doesn't 'ave any arms. *leans in closer and whispers* Besoides, 'e thinks the plan is insaine.
Guisseppie: No, I said you were insane.
On Air Nippon flight 374 from Tokyo to Rocketsville...
ParaPara: ParaPara thinks cooking is such a chore. why do we have to cook something to eat what everyone else is having?
MagiKoopa: well, y'see--- [gets cut off by Lita]
Lita: Cooking isn't supposed to be a chore. Once you become good at it, it's lots of fun to cook for other people! And anyway, Thanksgiving is about sharing. Notice the giving part in its name? We all cook to give thanks to each other during the holiday.
CereCere: why cook in the first place? I could just have someone at the grocery store cook something and then pick it up.
Koopa turns red for some unknown reason.
MagiKoopa: ah.... heh, heh... I'll be right back. [runs to the bathroom and flushes his store-bought cranberry sauce]
Lita: It's not about just cooking something. it's about the care and effort you invest, as well as the self-satisfaction of knowing that you don't need to rely on your grocer to make great food.
Birdo [to Koopa]: looks like someone's about ready to dethrone the Iron Chef himself.
[author's note: You'd have to watch the Iron Chef on the Food Network (I think that's the name of the channel...) to know about this reference. or... just forget about it.- Koopa]
MagiKoopa: a'ight, a'ight. let's just remain calm. Lita, you can cook a dish for everyone. Amazoness Quartet, or whatever you go by now, it's up to you whether you wanna cook something or order it from the store.
The Amazoness Quartet all give Koopa a blank stare.
MagiKoopa: [sighs] here's 20 dollars for each of you to buy something.
Birdo: A drooling Koopa and his money are soon parted.
Koopa grabs his Farfetch'd by the neck and hoists him up so their eyes meet.
MagiKoopa: What was that?
Birdo: I said... I forgot what time it was when we departed.
MagiKoopa: That's what I thought. [drops Birdo]
Birdo gasps momentarily, but promptly resumes drinking his tea.
Sailor Man: Heh heh heh! I cooked a Spinach Caserole! *smells it* Whew! Well blow me down!
Dodo: Ughhh... it blew me down *runs to the bathroom*
Masamune: By the by Dodo, what are you going to be cooking?
Dodo: BLLLEECHHH!!!! Huh, me? I plan to cook a very fancy... *looks down* Its hard to cook faced by these sorts of things... BLLEEECCHHH!!!!
Masamune: . . . . I see...
Cat: Dodo? Did you say animé girls? ~drools~
Saph: Uh-oh... he's in that mood again. Here, take Cat.
Cat: Nononononono!!! ~gets shoved out the door~
Ditto: Awlright niow. Set it to...
--Later, we join the Turkey Dunditto and his reluctant assistant Cat out in the forest... It is silent, save for the sound of a few insects...--
Cat: Insects...? *smacks his leg*
-A hand smacks over Cat's face-
Ditto: SSSh! You don't wonna make a sound. Once the woild tuh-key hears ya... you're as good as DEAD.
-Cat comes out, carrying all kinds of heavy equipment on his back~
Cat: Why do I have to carry everyth-
Ditto: SSH! *looks through his binoculars, down at the ground* Holey moley! Look at the soize o' them tracks! Wooo! That un must be the soize of a house! And he's here somewhere...!
Cat: Why do you keep speaking like an annoying Austrailian Wildlife Show Host?
Guisseppie: Because he's nuts, thats why.
Ditto: *turns to the camera* So, here we are, hour 3, looking for the rare and daingerous woild can-laughter tuh-key. This is a very daingerous bird. Luckily, Oi've been trackin' woild tuh-keys through the Infront since Oi wos a lil' nippa.
Guisseppie:
Ditto: A woild tuh-key, once enraged, poses a serious threat. It may charge. It's capable of peckin' your oi's out. It's important to get the jump on one first, otherwoise, It'll eat you and everyone you care about.
Cat: *whispering to Guisseppie* Well, if it goes for me, HE'S in no danger...
Ditto: But o' course, the voracious tuh-key isn't the only dainger in the forest. You also have to watch out for snakes.
Cat: Snakes???
Guisseppie: *deadpan into the camera* Just remember, snakes are just as afraid of us as we are of Ditto.
- There is a rustling in the bushes. A black form darts several feet ahead of the group. Ominous "Jurassic Park" music begins playing*
Ditto: *whispering* There 'e is! Our quarry! Let's get in for a closer look...!
- They advance onto a little bush*
Ditto: ...Now, to do moi clever, subtle turkey ruse, so gain it's trust and respect...
- Suddenly begins to jump around noisily making ungodly noises*
Guisseppie: :sweat : Turn back now, kid.
Ditto: Now Oi've gained it's respict... *creeps up on bush* GOTCHA!
- He leaps into the bushes. Out of the bush emerges a loud cacophony of gobbles and screams. Feathers come flying out, and there is a bit of canned laughter*
Ditto: AHHHHH!!!! *comes out with the turkey clinging ot his face, a la Mr. Bean* IT'S GOT ME! IT'S GOT ME! GETITOFF-GETITOFF-GETITOOOOOFF!
- rolls on the ground, wrestling with the tiny turkey... and losing. Finally, in a flurry of feathers and canned laughter the turkey scurries off into the brush, leaving Ditto laying on the ground with scratchmarks all over him*
Ditto: *dazed* Blimey! SEEE! SEEE?! I TOLD YOU IT WAS DANGEROUS!
Cat: I'll get the disinfectant.
Ditto: IT ALMOST KILLED ME! IT'S A MAN-EATER OI TELLS YA! A MAN-EATAH!
Cat: Yes, yes, I know.
Ditto: It pecked me bum.
Narrator: Meanwhile, back in the simple Suburbian life of Masamune, Dodo and their house guest, Sailor Man.
Masamune: That intro... it was scary
- canned laughter*
Masamune: Not again!
- canned laughter*
Masamune: ARRGGH!!!!
- turkey leaps out of broom closet and begins poking Masa's eyes*
Ditto: *arrives on the scene just in time* It's da toikey! *leaps on Masa and the turkey, and begins punching violently. Meanwhile the turkey sneaks away into Dude's car parked outside*
Masamune: *currently getting beaten to a pulp* Get this crazy Aussie off of me!
Dodo and Cat: *pull's Ditto off*
Ditto: Sorry mate, I gots a score to settle with that boid.
Cat: *sighs* It went out the front door
Narrator: *rewinds scene back to begining* This was the original showing from a camera, now let us see a full re-enactment...
Narrator: *draws a circle around a chubby man who is probably supposed to be Masamune* Here we see Masamune, who is currently dressing his cooked boar with pineapples...
- another circle is drawn in the shadows* Over here is the turkey, who just escaped from the back of Magikoopa's unmowed lot, otherwise known as the great "Below There"
Masamune: That... umm.. *looks off in no particular direction* Intro scared me...
- chuckle*
Masamune: Not again!
Narrator: *draws a circle around the broom closet, showing a common gerbil dressed in a pathetic turkey outfit leaping at Masamune*
- fake turkey starts poking Masamune's eyes*
Narrator: The rest of the story you know... if you have any information on this Turkey, call America's Most wanted Fouls.
Koopa watches the scene with Ditto & the turkey from his window seat. He's got a pair of really, really, really good binoculars.
MagiKoopa: [sigh] I could be down there protecting the world from devestation.
Birdo: Quiet, you. We'll be back home soon enough.
MagiKoopa: Hey, any of you have the time?
ParaPara: ParaPara's watch says its tomorrow o'clock.
MagiKoopa: okaaaay.... anybody know how long we've been in the air? it's a 17-hour flight.
CereCere: I think about 40 minutes.
MagiKoopa: it's gonna be a long flight...
Lita: Cheer up! The plane's high enough so we can use our video games and computers.
MagiKoopa: and?
Lita: Let's play Super Mario Bros. Deluxe!
Air Guy on speaker: Once again, we ask that you refrain from using your video games and computer devices until we reach 700,000 feet. Once we reach this altitude, the oxygen engine will turn on. At this point, you will be able to use your electronic devices.
MagiKoopa, Birdo, and Lita: [sigh...]
JunJun: Hey, Koopa, what's the "wave?" I've heard of people doing it at sports events before.
MagiKoopa: glad you asked.
Dude: Hey, where are my car keys?
Dodo: ~looks out window~ I think the turkey's got it...
Cat: Look... it's driving off in Dude's car?!
Ditto: De woild tuh-key is known foah draving cahs into hoises.
Masamune: Pfft! Yeah right!
Dude: Lame!
~They watch as the turkey bulldozes Cat's house across the street~
Koopa's got everybody in his row of the plane doing The Wave now! He uses a spell to create a microphone for Birdo, who flies up to the front of their section.
Birdo: Everybody from this seat over [motions a wing from the middle toward his left] say "Left Side!" when I point to you! Everyone from this side over [motions to the right] say "Right Side!" we're gonna see who's on the coolest side! ok? ok!
Koopa's Farfetch'd begins pointing to each side. at first, only a few people outside his own row participate. the crowd grows with each shout.
Left side: left side.
Right side: right side.
Left side: Left side!
Right: Right Side!
Left: LEFT SIDE!
Right: RIGHT SIDE!
Coincidentally, 2 members of the Amazoness Quartet are on each side. Koopa's in the middle seat between 'em.
Parapara: Left side! [sticks tongue out at right side]
Junjun: Right side! [bops Parapara on the head]
Cerecere: Left side! [pulls Koopa over toward her]
VesVes: Right side! [starts pulling Koopa back]
Magikoopa: OW! left side! AAACK! right side...
they take turns pulling Koopa back and fourth.
Magikoopa: no wonder that guy was so anxious to swap seats with me...
Masamune: *sigh* If only life were as simple as back then...
Dodo: ???
Masamune: Nothing... But Thanksgiving doesn't seem the same anymore, Cat and Ditto are on a safari for Turkey, Magikoopa is travelling, Dude is staring off in space and Saphire is attemtping to cook something at home... Why can't thanksgiving be the same as it used to be?
meanwhile,
Sapphire: [sits drumming fingerrs on table] There has to be something I can do until Raye calls me back. Sheesh. The things I have to do for attention.. sigh.
Pikachu: You revel in it.
Sapphire: Hey! You actually talked without using that pikachu language. About time!
Pikachu: I was taking classes while I was noticably left out of the loop. Now I can show that Meowth! Muahaha..
Sapphire: :sweat : You need to work on that laugh ...
<Page 3>
Somewhere in the area where Dude's car and the house collided...
???: Father... are you alright?
Father: Uuugghh...
???: That turkey... it did it, didn't it?
Father: Ssooonnn...
???: I will avenge you father... *sniff* That Turkey wont get away with this! *runs off*
Father: Glluugg... gotta find some Pepto Bismo.....
Birdo: [thinking] my Farfetch'd Sense is tingling!
Birdo grabs Koopa's wand and flies into the bathroom. flushing the toilet, he hops inside as the water drains and flies out of the plane.
Magikoopa: Huh. What was Birdo in such a hurry about?
Suddenly, an ostrich flies into the jet intake; the engine explodes, sending the plane on a quick descent toward the sea. Everyone panics. the captain tells them not to, but regardless, they panic anyway.
Magikoopa: My wand would be nice about now!
--Meanwhile--
- "Turkey" Dunditto stands at the top of a cliff*
Turkey Dunditto {Dittous Stupidus Couldn't-Catch-A-Coldius)
- He picks up a slingshot and a bomb. He looks down the cliff and sees a cloud of dust approaching. The screen freezes momentarily allowing us to see the Turkey*
Turkey {Thanksgivingus Fraidy-Catus)
Tureky: Beep be- uh... Gobble gobble! *zips down the road*
- Dunditto puts the bomb in the slingshot and aims. As the turkey runs underneath, he fires down. However, it misses and bounces off the road. It riccochets into the arm of a cactus and goes flying back over Ditto's head. It rolls on top of a cliff hanging over Ditto's head.*
Bomb: BOOOOOOOMMMM!
- Ditto takes out a tiny little umbrella as the rock falls down on his head. Cat walks up*
Cat: Well?
Ditto: *sigh* ...Maybe we should just bring crescent rolls...
Turkey: Gobble gobble! *zip!*
Cat: Maybe we should go for a different turkey perhaps? Maybe a DEAD one?
Ditto: Now; that takes oil the foin oit o' it!
Masamune: IT IS ALIVE! IT IS ALIVE!!!
Dodo: What's alive?
Masamune: Err... it is cooked! IT IS COOKED! Behold, my Roast Beast! And the Baked Boar!
Dodo: Ooh, I have finished my salad as well as my fountain drink station, which is more advanced and offers refills on all drinks...
Sailor Man: Heh heh, I finished my Spinach Casserole!
Masamune: Hmm... *calls up some people* GWAH! Noone has cooked anything! Quick, we must cook MORE! MORE I TELL YOU MORE! WAHAHAHAHA!
Dodo: He is always like this on the holidays...
Air Nippon flight 374 continues falling toward the ocean.
Lita: What should we do?
Magikoopa: We go down with the best of 'em, kid.
Koopa stands up, puts a hand to his heart, and begins singing.
Magikoopa: Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us... (holding tears back) all we ask is that you let us serve it your way... have it... yooouuurrr... waay... have it your way...
Parapara: Look out the window! Your bird can fly. But that fox next to him is cheating with a plane!
Koopa and co. look out the window. sure enough, Birdo is flying outside. Right behind him is Miles "Tails" Prower flying in the famous biplane, the Tornado.
Tails: [inaudible]
Magikoopa: Birdo! Teleport the 6 of us out!
Cerecere, Vesves, Junjun, Parapara, and Lita: No! Don't! [furiously shaking heads 'no']
But Birdo obeys Koopa's orders and uses his wand to teleport them outside, where they land safely on the Tornado. Koopa uses his claws to his advantage by forcing a grip onto the wings. Lita grabs on to his free hand, and the Amazoness Quartet get their balance and eventually stand up.
Tails: Be careful! I just had the wings de-holed last week.
Magikoopa: How in the heck do you girls stand up on a moving plane?!
Vesves: You don't work in the circus as long as we have and not learn anything useful.
The Air Nippon flight makes a final spiral before landing face up on the water. Inflatable rafts pop out, and everybody hops on them.
Lita: Well, Koopa, looks like we were safe either way.
Magikoopa: Are you kiddin' me? Do you have any idea how many Game Boy Color games I've got with me?!
Tails: Birdo says you're headed for a town called Rocketsville. I can get you guys there by the end of the day.
Magikoopa: great. as if a 17-hour flight with Vesves wasn't bad enough. [gets kicked]
Birdo: Hey, Tails! Why don'cha join us for Thanksgiving dinner?
Tails: That'd be great! But I've already got plans to spend the day with Sonic.
Cerecere: Well, that's one less dish we'll be eating.
The biplane speeds back toward America.
- Ditto and Cat wander into the grocery store Ditto works at*
Mr. Brooks (my manager): *looking at Ditto's blunderbuss* Hey, you can't bring that in here!
Ditto: *looks puzzled, then looks down at Cat* Oh, HIM. Don't worry, mate. 'E's saife. 'E won't take any candy or anythin'. We just caime to bag us a tuh-key. *pats Brooks on the back*
Mr. Brooks: ???
Cat: ~TeeHeeMeow~
Ditto: A toikey!
Mr. Brooks: Yes, they're on special to--
KAPOW KAPOW!!! ~Ditto shot the turkey.~
Cat: Think. If they're frozen and packaged neatly, I think the turkey's dead.
- everyone screams*
Ditto: It... uh... looked at me funny. No worries, eh?
Mr. Brooks: Oh my God! Someone get the Security Guard!!!
Ditto: Thanks, mate, but Oi kin carry this thing by meself. Oi don't even need a bag. C'moon Cet, let's get on to the Thainksgivin.'
Cat: I guess I'm bringing the fruitcake...
--Later--
Ditto: Well, I never got that crazy bird, but at least I got a turkey. I guess now I gotta bring someone...
Murasame: Gwahaha! Now what should I bring.... I am an established character now....
Snipes: Heehee, how about cranberry sssauce?
Krunk: HOW BOUT' PUDDIN'?
Murasame: No, for I shall bring.... PIE! GWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! My Pie shall be so great that those other normal pies will not stand a chance! Then those wretched OG members will be thankful for my pie and me!!!
Snipes: Heehee! How ssssinissssster!
Krunk: HOW EVIL!
Murasame: ... how hard, any of you know how to make pie?
Chef Torte: No problem! Ve are veptiles are ve not?
Assistant: Yes, we will create a pie!
Chef Torte: No! I vill creat, you vill only assist!
Assistant: Yeah... ok...
Murasame: Good! Good! Make the ultimate pie!!!
Cat: I know... I'LL MAKE A PUMPKIN-FLAVORED CAKE!!!
Ditto: --0 You know how to COOK?
Cat: The only way to get a girl is to do her jobs!
Luigi 64: I WISH I KNEW THAT SOONER!!!
Cat: Why are you here?
L64: I dunno... I'll go now.
The Tornado is sighted flying over the Californian shore as it makes its way to Rocketsville (formerly Cincinatti, Ohio in case you were wondering).
Tails: An ostrich? I didn't even know they could fly, much less fly into a jet intake!
The biplane begins heading down to the ground.
Magikoopa: Hey, what're you doing? Rocketsville is in Ohio!
Tails: We've gotta refuel. It'll just take a few minutes.
Lita: Hey, isn't there a Chinatown here?
Magikoopa: huh? I thought Chinatown was in Chicago.
Tails: No, there's one in California, too.
The plane lands at a gas station, where Tails prepares himself to pay an astonishing two bucks per gallon.
Magikoopa: I wonder if they have those delicious rolls here.
Vesves: Why don't we stay and look around a while? We've got time, right?
Tails: Oh, yeah! We can browse a while and still make it by the end of the day.
Birdo: Naw, forget that. Why don't we spend a night here?
Junjun: Where are ya gonna find a hotel with airplane parking?
all: [sweatdrop]
~suspiciously, across the street there's a hotel with plane parking...~
Magi: Why not take it?
Tails: Isn't it just a little TOO convenient?
Magi: Naw, I bet they don't even have room service that's half good.
Murasame: IT IS.... FINISHED!
Chef Torte: It iz a masterpeice! I love it, I love me, look, I vill kiss mezelf! *pulls his shell off and kisses it*
Assistant: Ahh... smells good!
Snipes: And look, it isss sso huge!
Krunk: VERY BIG! ME-LIKE!
Murasame: Now, we shall go for Thanksgiving!
Chef Torte: Oh, It iz so vunderful, I can not beleive it. It iz so vunderfuly magneveseent! Ahh... Such vunderful pie, so luscioz and warm. Iz smells good, so good, so vunderfully good!
~Everyone is sitting at the table in Masamune's place, except for Magi and crew.~
Cat: Where ARE they?
<Page 4>
It's late evening. Koopa, Birdo, Lita, Tails, and the Amazoness Quartet are taking a breather in a hotel room.
Lita: Wow! Yesterday was pretty wild, don't you think?
Birdo: Especially considering Koopa's still trying to get over his hangover.
Magikoopa: ZZZZZZZ...
Cerecere: Oh, well. His loss. At least you tagged along with us today.
Birdo: Heh, heh...
Parapara: [watching TV] Today is Wednesday, right?
Everyone nods, save for Koopa, sleeping even through Tenchi Universe.
Parapara: Parapara thinks Thanksgiving is soon, judging by the comercials.
The room gets dead silent. The TV is turned off. Everyone gets an uneasy feeling as Tails slowly and reluctantly checks his watch. Then, the moment of judgement hits.
All: AAAAACKK!!! THANKSGIVING IS TOMORROW!
Koopa: zzzzzzzz....
Everyone hastily packs their things and reloads the luggage in the Tornado. They're about to leave, when--
Parapara: Wait! Parapara ordered more room service before Tails found out what time it was.
Birdo: Hold on! We almost forgot Koopa!
The gang dashes back to the hotel room and waits. The room service arrives 20 minutes later, and Junjun finally kicks Koopa awake 15 minutes after that.
Junjun: Wake up, you moron! We're gonna miss Thanksgiving!
Magikoopa: zzzzzz.... [Koopa's snooze bubble pops, awakening him] wha? yaawwwnn...
Koopa stretches out in front of the panicked faces of his travelling mates.
Magikoopa: What? Did I drool? [wipes face]
Brido grabs Koopa and flies, following the others to Tails' plane. They hastily take off, speeding toward Masamune's place.
Tails: Y'know, none of us even cooked a dish yet. Can we possibly have something ready by tomorrow?
Magikoopa: Yeah, cooked. Heh, heh... can't get enough of that home-cooked junk. excuse me a moment. [tosses a covered bag of store-bought rolls off the plane]
Cerecere: I saw what was in there.
Magikoopa: shhh!
Birdo: Actually, this'll work out perfect. By the time we get to Masamune's pad, it'll be early tomorrow morning. If we sleep on the way over, that'll give us plenty of time to each fix a dish.
Parapara: Or buy one! [holds up her $20 bill from Koopa]
Lita: Does anyone else think Koopa's already had enough sleep? [pulls on Koopa's face and makes him stick his tongue out]
Magikoopa: Ow, ow! I suppose you're right. Well, actually, I dunno...
Koopa is promptly force-fed a 6-pack of Mountain Dew. He begins shaking, and his eyes quickly move from subject to subject.
Magikoopa: (quickly) I'm wired now! Good gravy! You can't handle a can or more if you're planning to go to sleep within a week. This one time, my pal Kamek drank 10 cans of the stuff! He was wired for a month! heheheheheheheheheheh...
Lita: He's on his way to becoming a regular VGF spammer.
Koopa takes over the controls of the Tornado for a while. The plane speeds even faster toward its destination.
Birdo: Heh, it'll be fun telling everyone about our time in California.
Vesves: Assuming Koopa doesn't tell them before we get there.
Murasame: *knock knock*
Inside House: ...
Murasame: *knock knock*
???: Who there?
Murasame: Achoo!
???: Achoo who?
Murasame: Achoo gonna get up and let me in?
???: Doh! *opens door*
Murasame: *opens arms wide* Masa!
Masamune: Mura! *they both embrace in a hug*
Murasame: Hows little bubby?
Masamune: Hey! ... fine *huffs*
Cat: Uhhh... Isn't he an enemy?
Rhyk: I believe he's related to Masa in some way...
Cat: How'd you get here?
Rhyk: I can't tell you that.
Murasame: Ahh! It's Bat and Dike!
Cat: Cat!
Rhyke: Rhyke! Jeez...
Masamune: So what did you bring?
Murasame: Ahh yes... TORTE! SNIPES! KRUNK! ASSISTANT! BRING IT IN!!!
Torte: . . . . vait a vecond! Ve cannot get in ze door!
Snipes: It's too little!
Krunk: AND THE CAKE IS TOO BIG!
Snipes: Shut up, fool!
Torte: Ve vill need to break ze door down, no?
Snipes: Yesss, marvelousss!
Krunk: FUN.
Torte: Ve are going to break ze door down!
Assistant: What if... we turn the pie sideways?
Torte: Vat are you insane? Zat is ze most ridicolo-- I gotz it! Vat if we turn ze pie zidewayz? Zen it will fit, non?
Assistant: G-r-e-a-t....
- they do so and roll it in the kitchen*
Torte: It iz my mazterpeize! Ze ultimate Pie!
Murasame: Thought I'd bring a little something *smirks*
Masamune, Golem, Rhyke, Cat, Dodo, and Sailor Man:
Ditto: *walks in* Crikey! That pie is a beauty!
Meanwhile...
Saphire: Great! JUST GREAT! My biscuits are too burnt to be even considered Nuclear! Now what'll I do?
TV: ... too burnt to be eaten? Like a Nuclear disaster? Then call Insta-Food, we'll bring a whole dinner or just a part of it for a pitch-in or a lost food product. You can rely... ON US! Call 1-800...
Saphire: *dials number* Yes? Yeah, of course, thats right. One of those will do nicely, wonderful, that much? Ok.. will do, G'bye!
~The people she called arrive.~
Saph: How'd you get here so fast?
Cook: We were listening in the other room.
~Meanwhile...~
Cat: C'mon, Rhyk, let's go fetch Magi.
Rhyk: EEP! ~gets pulled by the collar into the main room~
~Cat clicks out the TASTS and locates Magi. The TASTS lands inside the plane.~
Cat: C'mere!
Magi: CAN'T YOU SEE I'MMMMMMM FLLLLLLLYYYYIIING?! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Rhyk: Uhhh... okay.
~Cat gets in and starts up the TASTS. They land in a parking lot near Masa's place.(Plane and all).
Everyone hops out the plane and Cat clicks away the TASTS.~
Magi: OH NO I DIDN'T BRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNG ANYTHING WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPSSSSSSS!!!
At Spiffy Apartment #417, a few hours later...
Lita: This is gonna be the best turkey ever!
Birdo: I thought someone was already bringing a turkey.
Magikoopa: [still caffinated] Ah, well. The more (leftovers), the merrier! Leftovers are good. Then you don't have to cook anything for, like, a month! Unless you get sick of stuffing, then you can order a pizza or something. [continues rapidly rambling on]
Koopa is working furiously to create fresh dinner rolls from scratch. Lita's putting the finishing touches on a turkey [which Koopa will cast a spell on to cook super-fast in the oven], and Birdo's smashing cranberries with a sledgehammer into a delicious sauce.
Magikoopa: Any cranberries that don't make the dish, you're cleaning up, Birdo.
Lita: I wonder what's taking Raye so long. She should've called by now.
Koopa and Birdo: AAAAACK!! [point at each other] you were supposed to call HER! Hey, we both said the same thing. Jinx! Jinx! Jinx! Jinx! Jinx! rrrgh... double-infinity jinx times one-thousand plus one. hundred. BILLION!
Lita: GUYS! both of you shut up! somebody hurry up and give Raye a call!
Koopa and Birdo: ... [jaws open]
Magikoopa and his Farfetch'd both dash to the phone and pick up the reciever. After a minute of arguing over who should make the call, they both decide.
Koopa and Birdo: Whoever gets jinxed first doesn't get to make the call. jinx! jinx! jinx! triple-jinx! super-duper quadruple ultimate hyper jinx level---
Magikoopa: jinx!
Birdo: three? [shuts up]
Koopa dials up the place where Raye's staying. Meanwhile, at the local supermarket, the Amazoness Quartet meet up with what they're going to buy.
Cerecere: What did you all get?
Parapara: Casserole.
Vesves: Casserole.
Junjun: Casserole.
Cerecere: Darn it! So did I! This is the fourth time we got the same dish!
Vesves: We could just put it in one container and say we all worked hard to make the dish together.
Cerecere: To the checkout counter!
Cat: Don't we do anything?
Rhyk: Nope, we don't. I already did a turducken and it's staying hot in me. ~opens up stomach~
Cat: Yuck!
Rhyk: Don't worry, it's VERY sterile. ~shuts it
Ditto: Turducken?
Golem (or Cat, or, whatever): Turducken.
Ditto: Ah. Would you please pass the crescent rolls?
- Everyone looks around*
Ditto: Oh, my. Did someone forget the crescent rolls?
- everyone looks at each other*
Ditto: I said... *pulls out his blunderbuss and jumps on the table, waving it violently* DID SOMEONE FORGET THE FREAKIN' CRESCENT ROLLS?!?
Rhyk: *suddenly grabs a roll and shapes it like a crescent* H-Here you go.
Ditto: Oh! Good. *takes it, and calmly sits down* Ahhh, crescenty goodness...
Masamune: *walks in where everyone else is* ALRIGHT YE SWABS! GET YE REAR IN GEAR AND GIT IN HERE! WE'RE GONNA SAY WHAT WE'RE THANKFUL FOR!
Everyone: *cringes* We're right here ya know... oi...
Masamune: HEH, OK!
Dodo: *in the kitchen* Hey, get away!
Torte: Vool! Zat is not how you make cake!
Dodo: Oh? Well it's how I do it!
Torte: Fool! It wilz be terrible, YOU ARE IDIOT!
Dodo: You are a buffoon!
Torte: No more! I vill show you how make cake!
[pounding at the door]
Golem: Who is it?
Masamune: Hey, I get to say that!
Magikoopa: It's me!
Birdo: And me!
Lita: And me!
Masamune: Okay, okay, I get the idea! [answers]
Koopa and co. arrive just in time, each member with their dish in hand.
Birdo: Thank goodness we made it!
Magikoopa: Thank goodness my rolls didn't burn.
Lita: Thank goodness Birdo stopped attacking me when he thought I was cooking another Farfetch'd!
Cerecere, Vesves, Junjun, and Parapara: Thank goodness we all worked hard together to make this delicious casserole! [trying not to laugh]
everyone sits down, putting their dishes in the center of the table.
Birdo: [light bulb appears over head] well, I guess we said our thanks! how 'bout you guys?
everybody: [sweatdrop]
Around the table...
Dodo: I am thankful for my Master Masamune.
Masamune: I'm thankful for me too.
Snipes: I am thankful for my constant hissssing ssssound I make.
Krunk: I AM THANKFUL FOR MY CONSTANT SPEECH WITH CAPS ON.
Sailor Man: *chuckles* I am thankful for all these new apprentice Sailor Girls of mine! *The Sailor Scouts huddled around Popeye all giggle*
Murasame: I am thankful for NUTTIN!
Torte: I am zankful for all ze help I always rezeve making my mazterpeizes!
Assistant: *teardrop* Gee... you really do love me...
Torte: Fool! I not mean you, I mean cooking toolz!
Assistant: *sighs* I am thankful for my 'caring' teacher...
Cat: I'm thankful that I'm very attractive.
Rhyk: I'm glad I didn't get shut down when all that stuff fell on me in Party Goers 3.
Everyone: HUH?!
Cat: Heheh! I'm thankful for that too. Hey, where's Saph?
Guisseppie: I'm thankful that no lives were lost.
- Ditto shoots him an angry glance*
Ditto: I'm glad everything turned out well in the end, and that we could all be here with friends.
- smiles at Amy Anderson, sitting next to him*
Magi: *fuming slightly* I thought you had to study.
Amy: I did, but... My old friend Ditto called and told me and invited me...
Magi: Hey! Whattabout me?! Does the name "Rocketsville" ring a bell?!
Rhyk: *breaking in* Ditto, how do you two know each other?
Ditto: An International Vocabulary and Language Mechanics Exam I took at Crossroads Junior High. *shrugs* Mizuno and I got the same score, long story...
Magi: Mizuno?!
Ditto:
Masamune: Gee, I wonder whatever happened to that turkey...?
- Scene: A Hidden Lair*
~Behind a desk, we see a swivel chair, turned around, facing the window so we can't see the occupant. On the arm rests, however, we can see a pair of plucked wings, stroking a snoozing pig~
Voice: I'll get you next time, Holiday Goers... Next time... Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha...
Pig: Squeeeeeal! (hahahah!)
- The scene fades out, and the last thing we hear is the ominous sound of canned laughter...*