Gamehiker Member OG 5 Page 1
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Author: Luigi of the Pipes
LOVE STORY OMG!
~A pair of headlights race down a night-backed road, a barely visible car following. The camera flies into one of the headlights, permanently blinding all viewers/readers. It continues through the headlight and goes through every detailed part of the inside of the car for absolutely no reason except that it costs a lot and looks pretty, while showing a bunch of credits that no one really pays attention to. The camera exits out the tail pipe and turns to look further down the road. There is a brief moment when the headlights illuminate a man, then a loud thud. The car screeches to a halt. The man's body (completely in shadows) is somehow mutilated in such a way as to spell:
GAMEHIKER MEMBER OG V
HOBO MEETS GIRL
~Some time later, the police, an ambulance, and, for the hell of it, a squad of fire fighters pull up. A policeman walks up to the car. (The recently redubbed) Luigi of the Pipes rolls his window down and peers up, a painfully guilty expression on his face. The policeman does a double take.~
Luigi: Sir?
Policeman: Do you have a twin, sir?
Luigi: Not in this OG.
Policeman: A brother who looks really similar? Maybe someone you know who would dress up like you?
Luigi: Not in this OG... why?
Policeman: Step out of the car, please.
~Luigi gets out. The policeman leads him over to the victim.~
Luigi: Wait...
Policeman: Anyone you know?
Luigi: That's me.
Policeman: It would seem, except for the possibility. ~calls his chief and explains~ Sir, this is going to seriously bog down the system. We're going to run some DNA tests and figure out who this is.
Luigi: It's me.
Policeman: We'll need to keep you at the station.
Luigi: Oh.
~Hours later~
Scientist: It's impossible. The tests claim that both of these men are Mr. Lucas Hanimar.
Holistic Detective: I couldn't wrap my head around it, so I've called in an expert.
Young Boy: He'd need a bloody time machine.
Holistic Detective: There you have it.
Scientist: I hate to admit it...
Holistic Detective: So guy goes back in time and gets killed by himself. Pretty sad way to go. We should tell him how much time he's got left.
Scientist: Couldn't he just not go back in time and prevent it?
Holistic Detective: Oh, he'll go back in time. You can't change the past... or the future. How much time does he got?
Scientist: . . . one year.
~The next day~
~Luigi glumly walks up to Yami Yoshi's house, where Yami has recruited the OGers into helping him put up his new deck and pool. Yami stands on the ground with a giant megaphone, while MJ, GORE-ILLA, Golem, and Rhyk stand on the deck, about to jump into the empty pool.~
Yami: Now, guys. The deck isn't completely screwed down yet, so...
Golem: Yeah yeah. If it hasn't collapsed yet, it won't.
~A butterfly floats down and lands on the end of the deck. The support structure collapses, and the furthest board falls down. Their eyes go wide. Another board falls, and then another. Golem and Rhyk turn and run off the deck. MJ backs away quickly, then jumps back as the boards under him start to fall. GORE trips, lands on the boards that haven't quite collapsed, and then lays very still.~
Yami: Nice. Now I have to get a new deck. (angry)
MJ: Hang on, ugly ape guy! We'll pull you back!
Rhyk: Screw that! He has jets on his feet.
GORE: They're still not working. ~sweats intensely~
~MJ steps one board closer to GORE, hears a very loud creaking, and backs away again.~
Luigi: ~sigh~ I got him... ~uses Force powerz to lift GORE off the deck~
GORE: I'm suing.
Yami: Okay, good. Now if you could just put the deck back together and-- hey, where'd he go?
***
Masamune: At last, we can finish this.
Vorpal: FOR MISTY!
Masamune: FOR ME!
~Masamune and Vorpal finish the climactic battle from the last GMOG.~
Vorpal (crappy Japanese voice): But first... let us drink... Mountain Dew!
Masamune (crappy Japanese voice): Are you ready... for my six pack... of FURY!? ~chugs~
Vorpal: Flying two liter... HAI YAH! ~chugs as well~
Masamune: You have proven yourself... a worthy opponent. May we meet again!
Vorpal: Word!
Ashley: You guys are dumb.
***
~Rebe sits at a desk and pulls a locket out of her pocket. She flips it open to show a picture of a stout, bearded man and a tall, pointy eared woman. She looks at it a moment, then turns and starts writing on yon nearby paper.~
Rebe (on letter): Dear Mom and Dad,
Hope you are having fun at whatever that place is where crazy relationships like yours are welcome. Wish I was there, but know you wouldn't want me to be.
My crazy boyfriend has been flirting with other women again. I think he's forgotten that we were even dating... Well, were we even dating? Even I can't remember. I can't just leave him, though. He'd probably sell his soul for a really shiny penny... sorry, really shiny dime without me.
Well, hoping you write back with advice (and money, ha ha ha).
Love,
Rebe Jade.
Rebe: ~sigh~
---
OoC: I'm not allowed to start OGs anymore, I know.
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