Gamehiker Member OG 5 Page 4

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Author: Luigi of the Pipes

~At the gas station~

Clerk: I cameo!

Vorpal: Shut up and pump our gas.

Clerk: The sign clearly says that you must pump it yourself, jerk.

Masamune: Rebe's been captured by that fool EVIL Scientist Dude. We must hurry to her rescue!

Luigi: What about Ashley?

~Some random playground~

Ashley: Whee!!! ~is pushed on the swings by Lupus and Fred~ You guys are the best!

Lupus: We try.

Fred: I had two red rocks. Then I ate one, so I only had one left...

~At the gas station~

Masamune: That random scene change just proved that she's fine. Let's go.

GM: How are we supposed to find this "EVIL" Scientist Dude anyway?

Vorpal: Well, apparently he's stolen the Doomhikers Underground Lair. All we have to do...

~The Gamehikers look expectantly at the ex-Doomhikers.~

GORE: Some things must stay secret, even if our super-cool club is gone.

Vorpal: ~throttles GORE~

Sapphire: Pssh. It's in Boston.

All: ~gasp~ Rocketsville III!

Sapphire: Whatever.

~DA DA DA DA DA DA DA ROCKETSVILLE III, Doomhikers Underground Lair~

MJ: Dudes, there's two entrances.

GORE: Yeah.

Golem: Y'know, I don't remember which one we always used.

Rhyk: Agreed. My memory provides no insight.

MJ: Easy, easy fellers. I know exactly which door to take.

All: ???

MJ: ~pulls out his sword~ Whichever one leads you to Hell.

All: ~gasp~

Masamune: MJ! What the--

MJ: Oh, don't play dumb. I knew about Wario Jr., and I know that EVIL Scientist Dude put him out of commission, plot inconsistencies or not. Anybody who gets rid of my evil twin is a friend of mine. ~swings his sword across the doors~ Might as well go out with a bang, eh?

Luigi: You bastard.

MJ: Call me what you like, but it won't change the fact that you're about to get your asses served.

~MJ pulls out a red Starman and holds it up for a moment. A pair of shining wings come out of his back. The group charges him, but he holds up the Star Sword and a blinding light flashes forth, blinding and stuff. While they're recovering, MJ runs around and cuts them repeatedly, throwing in a few fiery attacks.~

Masamune: Don't hold back!

~The group attacks in unison, but their strikes bounce off of MJ's invincible body. He throws them away with a wave of fire, then floats up and drops down at Luigi, sword first. All of a sudden, the music stops, as does MJ's flashing wings. Luigi holds up his lightsaber; MJ twists away, but not far enough and impales himself on it.~

MJ: Gyeeeaaaaah!

~The others gather around him.~

Kuria: Hang on, MJ.

MJ: ~coughs~ Guess I should have stayed home after all, eh? Oh well... I've been wanting to die, ever since Marin... ~wheeze~

GM: MJ!

MJ: X_X

~They stand up and turn to the doors.~

Masamune: Blast. He was SUPPOSED to tell us which was the right one in his dying breath.

Vorpal: Let's split up. I'll take Kuria, Sapphire, GORE, GM, and Luigi.

Masamune: Wh-what?! But that leaves me with what's-his-face--

Don Miguel: Hey!

Masamune: Other-what's-his-face--

Cobrax: Excuse.

Masamune: Scrawny boy--

Golem: ~teeh--~ Oh...

Masamune: Scrawny robot--

Rhyk: Beep.

Masamune: And Yami. ~shudders~ I don't even get any women.

Vorpal: DIBBSIES!

Masamune: Aww...

~Vorpal's group runs through the left door before Masamune can complain further. The first room they enter is full of robotic GORE-ILLA clones.~

GORE: No...

Vorpal: Oh man. Makes you feel pretty unoriginal. Let's just sneak for the door and--

~GORE runs over, screaming in primal rage, and punches the nearest GORE clone. The eyes of the other GORE clones turn red and face him.~

Vorpal: RUN!

~They run through the door, Luigi and GORE taking up the rear. A GORE clone catches up just as they reach it.~

Luigi: We won't make it! ~throws his robe open~ Flame on! ~bursts into flames~

GORE: It's CLOBBERIN' time! ~smashes his fists together~

~They beat up the clone. Luigi jumps through the door and waves for GORE, but GORE punches the nearby columns and collapses the ceiling in front of the door. Luigi peers through.~

Luigi: GORE!

GORE: GO!

Luigi: Don't die!

GORE: Great... ~turns to the clones~ You shall not pass!

~Luigi catches up to the group, trying to cross a bridged chasm. A Caykzor hangs above the chasm, throwing cake at anyone who tries to cross.~

Sapphire: Can't we just go AROUND the chasm?

Vorpal: You know what. Shut up.

Kuria: I have a left over Pie Arrow. If I shoot it at the Caykzor, you guys can run across while it's squirming in pain.

Vorpal: That's my woman!

~Kuria fires the Pie Arrow at the Caykzor. Vorpal, GM, Sapphire, and Luigi run across. Kuria starts to run across, but the Caykzor drops suddenly and smashes the bridge. Kuria barely grabs the edge. Luigi, the only one to notice, turns.~

Luigi: Oh crap! Hang on, I'll try to pull you over!

Kuria: No! You have to save your strength! You're going to need it all if you want to defeat EVIL Scientist Dude.

Luigi: I can't leave you hanging! Vorpal will kill me!

Kuria: Do you remember that first time we met? And I fell out of the tree?

Luigi: No.

Kuria: I survived that. I'll survive this. Now fly, you fool!

~Luigi reluctantly turns. Kuria grins feebly and lets go of the ledge, falling into oblivion.~

Kuria: Tell Vorpal...

~Luigi catches up to the group again, but finds that only Sapphire is left.~

Luigi: Where did everyone--?

Sapphire: Through that door. But it closed when I tried to go through.

Luigi: Oh.

Sapphire: There's a computer here. Maybe I can hack into the system and open the doors. ~starts hacking~

Luigi: I didn't know you knew about computers.

Sapphire: Pssh.

~The door slides open. Luigi runs through, then turns around to see that the floor around Sapphire has collapsed.~

Luigi: Hey! Turn into Lady in Red and fly over!

Sapphire: There's no breeze.

Luigi: Then I'll--

Sapphire: No. You need to go and save Rebe.

Luigi: Wh--

Sapphire: I've seen that you care about her. If anyone needs to save her before Masamune, it's you. Now go.

Luigi: Thanks...

~leaves~

Sapphire: Boys... ~sighs as the floor beneath her falls~

~Luigi catches up to the group again (he has a knack for it) and finds them next to a closed door.~

Vorpal: There's only one way in. I'm the biggest, but somehow the only one who can fit through.

GM: Wh--?

Vorpal: It's Vorpal-sized.

~Vorpal slips into the hole that leads to the next room. He walks over to the computer, tries to open the door, then grunts and shoves his sword through the terminal. The ceiling in front of the next door starts sliding down.~

Vorpal: NO! ~shoves his sword between the ceiling and floor, holding it up, then is grabbed from behind and absorbed by a Caykzor~ Who bakes all these?!

~Luigi and GM run in the now-open door. GM slides under the ceiling and goes to the next door, but Luigi notices Vorpal's face sticking out of the Caykzor.~

Luigi: Vorpal! Hang on, I'll...

Vorpal: Don't worry about me. This isn't the first time I've been absorbed by one of these. In fact, I've been rather hungry lately... ~sinks into the Caykzor~

Luigi: Damn! ~runs and slides under the ceiling just as the Vorpal sword collapses, then catches up with GM~

GM: Isn't it kind of odd that we've been losing group members ever since we came in here?

Luigi: I expected it.

GM: I wonder who'll be next... ~eyes Luigi~

~A wall of energy appears in front of them, blocking passage. Another one appears behind, then to each side.~

Luigi: Both of us, I guess.

GM: We're gonna DIE!

Luigi: No! I've seen this type of energy field before. ~walks over to the forward energy field and draws his lightsaber~ If we concentrate our attacks on one spot, it'll open long enough for us to go through.

GM: Yeah, but--

Luigi: What?

GM: Nevermind... ~pulls out Omnipotence~ Ready?

Luigi: Yeah.

~GM fires repeatedly into a single spot on the field, then Luigi shoves his lightsaber into that spot, opening a hole. He slips through the hole, then turns and sees GM crash into the energy field.~

GM: I tried to tell you. I'm not fast enough to get through.

Luigi: Oh.

GM: But that's okay. I honestly didn't want to go anyway. You guys have been nothing but big jerks to me ever since I decided to HELP you. I heard you laughing about my movie behind my--

Luigi: We never!

GM: JUST GO!

~Luigi turns and runs, grumbling.~

GM: Take care...

~Luigi enters the next room and sees a long bridge, with arrow launchers on either side.~

Luigi: Crap. I'll have to run fast.

~Luigi runs past the arrows and across the bridge, but is shot by a hidden arrow launcher right in front of him, groans, and collapses. He picks himself a moment later and pulls the arrow out, along with Rebe's locket which he somehow got when you didn't see it.~

Luigi: Huh. You saved me too...

~Luigi looks for a door, but finds none. A sword is stuck in the wall, however, so he pulls it out. The door magically appears.~

Luigi: Fancy that. ~enters~

~Through the door, Luigi comes upon a most marvelous sight. EVIL Scientist Dude's Chocolate Factory. Only not. Instead, it's a small room with only the time machine in the center and a note. He picks it up.~

Luigi: "Dear Good Guys. I sent the girl back to the time that this OG started. I'm talking to you, hobo guy. If you want her, you'll go back in time. Hugs and Kisses, EVIL Scientist Dude." Crap. ~checks calender~ Double crap. My birthday was yesterday. Well, if it means saving Rebe... ~steps into the time machine and goes back to the start of the OG~

EVIL Scientist Dude: ~sneaks out from behind his hiding place~ MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The hobo will die! And I... WILL RULE... THE WORLD!

~A bullet flies past his ear.~

GM: Not so fast!

~EVIL Scientist Dude turns to see Vorpal's and Masamune's group facing him, sans Masamune himself.~

Vorpal: We got past your pathetic little traps, EVIL Scientist Dude, if only because we're not this author's characters so he can't kill us off!

EVIL Scientist Dude: But... how?

Masamune: ~walks in~ You'll never guess who helped us.

~MJ limps in.~

EVIL Scientist Dude: What?! They were supposed to kill you!

MJ: I changed my mind. Extra lives, baby.

EVIL Scientist Dude: This... SHALL NOT... BE TOLERATED!

~The room shakes as EVIL Scientist Dude sinks beneath the floor. He comes back up riding in a giant mechanical suit shaped like a monkey, with dozens of mechanical tentacles and noxious fumes seeping out of vents on its body.~

EVIL Scientist Dude: Now you face... the Island Beast! THE GIANT MAPINGUARI!

Author: Vorpal

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