Gamehiker Member OG 9 Page 1
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Author: Luigi of the Pipes
~The redubbed Lead Zeppelin floats through the night sky, searching for parties to crash and people to kill. Mariorocks, AaronGuy, and Loogi pace the halls while, behind closed doors, SteveT cuts the head off of Albert the Large and laughs. Lynel snoozes in the cockpit while Straw Man watches another flying ship dock with this one and completely ignores its existence.
Loogi rounds a corner and walks a few steps down the new corridor, then leans against one of the wall panels and pulls out a cigarette. The panel spins around as he tries to light it, and when Loogi looks back up it’s into Luiigii’s face.~
Luiigii: Hello, Oogie.
Loogi: JACK!
Luiigii: Let’s start that over.
~Luiigii grabs Loogi by the throat and drags him through the panel, though Loogi’s flailing laser hook has enough time to carve into the wall these words:~
GAMEHIKER MEMBER OG 9
TRAITOR?!?!?!?!?!?!
<nowiki>***</nowiki>
~ESD’s lab~
~ESD and Masamune are busy putting the final touches on the Mobile Pirate-Operated Mother, when Rebe bursts in.~
Rebe: Okay, Masamune. What is the emergency?
Masamune: Crazy woman! You almost made me give her a third eye! ~delicately cuts holes in the synthetic skin on the MPOM~
Rebe: Emergency?
Masamune: There is no emergency. What is YOUR malfunction?
Rebe: I received a letter in Luiigii’s handwriting that is very clearly signed by you in purple crayon saying that there was an emergency at this lab.
Masamune: He’s probably tricking you into coming here. He’s evil like that.
Rebe: Is not!
Masamune: Tch. You should have seen him in the Bad Timeline. It’s a wonder he didn’t leave us all on the—
~ESD turns and points a welding torch at Masamune’s face.~
ESD: Can we get past references to that song PLEASE?! ~pets his hair sadly~
Rebe: I stubbornly refuse to believe you!
Masamune: Face it. He’s not worth your time anymore. You should just forget him and hook up with me again. I have a flying ship.
Rebe: Wh—huh, that is a good point…
Luiigii: Oh come ON.
~Luiigii drops from the ceiling and lands between Rebe and Masamune.~
ESD: YOU! I want my ship back!
Luiigii: ~stabs ESD~ Yes, well, I’ll be taking Rebe now. And, for good measure…
~Luiigii grabs Rebe and OMG the MPOM and runs out the door into the waiting Flying Monkey.~
Masamune: O.O MOMMY NOOOOO! ~runs outside but is too late~ MPOM! MPOOOOOOM! And...uh, Rebe.
~Masamune notices a book having fallen out of the Flying Monkey entitled “Guide to Anti-Space.”~
Masamune: Oh snap.
~Meanwhile, Luiigii walks to the helm of the Flying Monkey, where Loogi is nervously steering.~
Luiigii: We’re set to build our army, Mr. Loogi. Take us…to Anti-Space!
Author: The Director
Loogi: Aye Aye.
*The Ship begins to pick up speed, it then it reaches 88 miles per hour and shoots off into space*
Luiigii: No one will stop me, I will be the villain I could never pull off!
Rebe: Masamune was right, you are evil..
Luiigii: Evil dudes have goatees.
*Luiigii spontaneously grows a goatee*
Rebe: Not caring anymore!
*Meanwhile, Steve has taken has taken Donkeymans place as the president of UPN.*
Steve: Get me some water.
Mariorocks 40X: WHY COITENLY!
*Mariorcks 40x gets the water, Steve promptly throws it in his face*
Steve: AHAHHAHAHHAA.
Mariorocks: Sir I'm wondering what the-
*Steve hits him with an axe, he dies instantly*
Steve: Get me another one.
Secretary: Y-yes sir.
Steve: Hey call up that one Director.
Secretary: You mean The Director?
Steve: Sure, tell him we want to buy him out.
*Totally flips to Director Studios, to Director getting the phone call*
Director: Hello?
Steve: Yeah, Director?
Director: Whos this?
Steve: I'm the president of UPN, we would like to buy you out.
Director: W-what?!?!?!?
Steve: I see you havent had a good film since 1993.
Director: THEY ARE ALL GOOD, THE CRITIC GIVES ME-
Steve: Well, I'm offering more money than you'll ever make on a movie.
Director: How much?
Steve: Ten cents.
Director: Uh....
*HOSTILE TAKEOVER*
Director: What the hell happenede?
*Steve pops out of the entrance to Director studios*
Steve: Take yer damn film camera thingamajig to!
*Steve throws an Expensive looking Movie Camera at Director, he then throws his directing chair and a four legged tripod at him*
Director: Poor little guy....
*The camera opens its eyes*
Camera: *yawn*
Director: HOLY SH*T.
Camera: *looks at him*
Director: Awwwww. Ok here.
*Director puts the the Movie Camera on the tripod*
Director: Nice.
*The Camera begins to walk around*
Director: Hmm......
*Director attatches the chair to the tripod, he gets on and he totally has a walking camera seat*
Camera: Lets go!
Director: Say, since when do you talk?
Camera: I always do, you just never listen.
Director: Oh yeah.
Author: Vorpal
~Indiandude's Economy Apartments~
Masamune: *grumbling* ... can't believe I'm doing this... *knocks on a door and waits*
Vorpal: *opens the door* Yea-- oh, it's you. What do you want?
Masamune: Vorpal, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Ninjas have kidnapped the President, and while I'm a bad enough dude to save the President, I'm a bit short on *cough*Anti-Space transportation devices*cough* and thought I could borrow your Sky Palace.
Misty: *from inside the apartment* Vorpie! Who is that?
Vorpal: It's just Masamune.
Masamune: Vorpie? *snickers*
Vorpal: Yeah, yeah... laugh it up.
Masamune: Oh, I get it. You too are still doing that "other stuff" mentioned at the end of GMOG VIII.
Vorpal: If by "other stuff" you mean "playing Scrabble" ... yeah... we're still at it... but between you and me, it's a nightmare! She won't let me use any of my words!
Misty: *still calling from inside* Vorpanium is NOT a word! It's not in the dictionary!
Vorpal: *yelling back* Confound it, woman! It's in the Vorptionary!
Misty: *calling back* Also not in the dictionary!
Vorpal: Grrrr.... look, I'd love to help you, Masamune... but after seeing what could have been in a different Timeline... I just don't feel like saving the President.
Masamune: Okay, look! Luiigii turned evil, kidnapped Rebe AND my mother--
Vorpal: I didn't know you had a mother.
Masamune: Robotic mother... Didn't you read the end to GMOG VIII?
Vorpal: I was... busy playing Scrabble.
Masamune: Anyway, Luiigii's evil now, and he's gone off to Anti-Space.
Vorpal: Hmm, and you're going to chase him into Anti-Space with the Sky Palace? All right! I'll do it, but only if I get to come along. I want to get a few hits in on him while I can.
Masamune: *sigh* Okay...
Misty: *finally walks up to the door, but only with a towel wrapped around her* Whatever you guys are doing, I'm coming too!
Masamune: Scrabble, huh?
Vorpal: ... uuuuuh ... strip Scrabble?
Misty: Just let me get changed!
~An abandoned baseball field~
Masamune: What are we doing here?
Vorpal: This is where the Sky Palace XL is.
Masamune: So this one is extra large?
Vorpal: No... this is number 40... long story... also it's cloaked. Do you know how much parking a huge thing like the Sky Palace costs at a regular garage? *brings out a remote and uncloaks the Sky Palace* It might be a little difficult, but it should be possible to pilot the thing with the three of us.
*The three walk in, and find empty water bottles strewn about the floor*
Misty: I thought you said you quit! *hits Vorpal over the head*
Vorpal: Ow! I did! It must be a stowaway!
*hiccup and rummaging sound, Masamune draws his sword, Vorpal unclicks his trombone case, encasing the Vorpal Sword... and Roy stumbles around the corner with three-day-stubble and huge purple bags around his eyes*
Vorpal: Roy... I thought I told you you were fired.
Roy: I... had nowhere else to go...
Masamune: Geeze, Roy... you look awful! You really let yourself go.
Roy: The voices....
Vorpal: You're still hearing voices?
Roy: No! That's the problem! I was so used to them! Now they only come back when I drink. *pops open another Dasani*
Misty: Woah! *grabs the water from Roy* I think you've had enough!
Roy: I know when I've had enough! I can quit anytime I-- *falls over*
Author: Masamune
~the three leave Roy alone in one of the many spare bedrooms~
Masamune: It's a nice pad, I gotta admit. But where's the uhhh... the you know, the naked butt angel from Actraiser. And the crumbling floors during fights. Oh yeah, and the big giant goddess summoning her angry little centurions?
Vorpal: You've been hitting the Virtual Console again, haven't you?
Masamune: It wasn't my fault I slept through the 80s.
Misty: So this thing can travel through Anti-Space, right?
Vorpal: Well... in theory, yes. It's just nobody has ever gone to Anti-Space before, so... I uh. Don't have the coordinates.
Masamune: For cryin' out loud. I should've just had another Swordefeller commissioned.
Vorpal: But you said Luiigii left a book on Anti-Space!
Masamune: Yeah. WRITTEN IN GOOMBELLI. *throws open the book and shoves it in Vorpal's face*
Misty: Relax. I'm sure there's a way to get it translated, right?
Masamune: I haven't kept track of Splog and Slort. And besides, *holds out the promotional movie poster of GMOGIX* they're not on the acting credits.
Vorpal: Damn those budget cuts!
Misty: Then um. Why don't we just have them written in?
Masamune: I think we've fourth walled enough. This isn't the Bad Timeline with omniscient Authors floating around.
Misty: Actually I was thinking we could just find a director to do it.
Vorpal: But WHERE except in the scene before this one, could we find such a director!?
Masamune: *rubs chin* Where indeed. Where indeed.
~Meanwhile, with that character that this previous post has worked so hard to tie into the plot. Director and his apparently sentient camera are walking down an old dusty highway outside of Vegas~
Camera: I'm gonna be an ACTION STAR! Imagine me a 100 foot tall, shooting out little lasers at people. I could blast them into dust and just jump out of the ground and everything!
Director: No. Just no.
Narrator: *strumming on an old banjo* And them two buddies were walking along the highway. Their former boss had left to Anti-Space on a Friday. And the road stretched on and on just like a crazy woman! On and on and on and on just like a crazy woman! And the two companions could see a crazy woman. Craaaaaazy woman. Crazy woman.
Camera: I like the new Narrator. Not.
Director: He was cheaper to pay on account of being alive. Country Folk singers will work for anything. Even nothing. Which is all I have now that Steve fired me.
Camera: Yeah, bummer about that. I guess I shouldn't have called him ten inches short of a crackpot.
Director: Well that analogy was kind of stupid. *sigh* Hopefully I can make enough money gambling to start a new studio. *holds up a single penny* It's up to you, lucky penny.
~a buzzard flies down and snatches the penny out of Director's hand~
Director: NOOO!!!! *falls on knees* IS THERE NO HAPPINESS LEFT IN THIS WORLD FOR AN EGGPLANT MAN!?
Narrator: And the Director cried and weeped just like a sissy woman. He blubbered and sobbed and wailed out just like a sissy woman. And his teary face was soft just like a sissy woman. Siiiiissy woman. Sissy woman.
Director: Oh shut up.
Author: Golem
~The Flying Monkey stops at a Cosmic Toll Booth just as it enters Anti-Space.~
Luiigii: Is this place rigged with any security mechanism?
Dippy teenage toll booth operator: ~rumaging around in his toll booth~ Yessir. If you go through the toll booth before I let you through, you're zapped. To death!
Luiigii: Sigh. What's the toll?
Dippy: Uhh, please hold a minute or maybe more, sir. ~still rumaging~
~Luiigii waits. Dippy finally finds what he's looking for and faces Luiigii, then sticks his hand out. Luiigii puts his hand out the window and Dippy gives him some coins.~
Luiigii: ...What is this?
Dippy: The toll. You're good to go through.
Luiigii: ...Anti-Space. Gotcha.
~The Flying Monkey zooms on ahead.~
Loogi: Where do you plan to start in building the army?
Luiigii: I don't have to fill you in on every detail of my scheme.
Loogi: Oh,...
Luiigii: Besides, it should be relatively easy to get the Ushutarians on our good side. We just deliver a healthy, well-balanced meal to Uruguay rather late, and he'll give us whatever help we need. Plus, I loaded up the Flying Monkey with cooked fish to give their technology an extra boost. With an Ushutarian fleet on my side, I'll be able to do just about whatever I want. It should be just the persuasion the Party Crashers need to join my side...
Author: GORE-ILLA
*GORE-ILLA walks across Yoshi Island with a stroller containing a baby Yoshi. He knocks at the door of a house.*
Master Yoshi: (opens the door) Who are you, and what the hell do you want?
GORE: Hey, I'm your adopted son's friend. He kinda died and left me with his son.
Master Yoshi: Oh great.
GORE: Yeah, I need help raising little Ronnie Yoshi here. First, I need some way to get him to stop trying to eat me.
Master Yoshi: Fine then, I'll help you even though you look like some flea-bitten moron! But this boy needs the warm embrace of a mother!
GORE: Fine. I will go out into the world and find myself a bride to watch our son. If I don't return within twenty-four hours, I want you to order the island to self-destruct.
Master Yoshi: That is completely out of the question!
GORE: Just prepare me some pizza then.
Master Yoshi: I'll come too! Ronnie is practically my grandson. I must pick the perfect daughter-in-law.
GORE: But... who will watch Ronnie?
Master Yoshi: We'll bring just bring him with us. When he eats enough, he'll mature to a size where he can fight for himself.
GORE: Fine then, old man. Let's be off!
*GORE rests Ronnie on his shoulder and grabs Master Yoshi, then they leap onto an intergalactic bus as it passes by.*
GORE: This is how I skip the bus fares!
Conductor: Hey, our next stop is Anti-Space!
Master Yoshi: How oddly convenient.
GORE: This is three characters only three characters this can't stop Lupus from posting.
*Elsewhere in Anti-Space, aboard the Flying Monkey...*
Loogi: I managed to find us a new ally, my liege.
Luiigii: Who is it?
Loogi: My best friend, a space pirate who got rejected from the Party Crashers.
*A hairy and heavily scarred ape, with both a monocle and eyepatch, a goatee and a swirling purple cape enter.*
gor-killa: I say! Let's go bang some heads!
GORE: Okay, four characters! Four characters brought in! But that won't stop Lupus, it can't. IT CAN'T!
Author: Luiigii of the Pipes
~The intergalactic bus lands on anti-earth's moon; GORE, Ronnie, and Master Yoshi hop off and run behind a moon dune before the bus conductor can spot them.~
GORE: Okay. We are on what I shall cleverly title the Noom. Where are all the hawt chicks?
~A bunch of women run past screaming and on fire.~
GORE: Not bad, not bad. But I think I'll go for something less crispy.
Master Yoshi: Here, ape. I have found my grandson a mother! ~holds up unconscious Rebe~
GORE: Eh? Where did she come from?
Master Yoshi: She was loving lain betwixt these two rocks, while a third one had clearly shattered against her skull. Lovingly. Well, maybe not LOVINGLY, I just haven't watched my soaps today and I needed to add some romantic spice to--anyway, there was this laser sword wrapped in her hands and this note that says "Catch Me If You Can." Wasn't that a movie?
GORE: I'll take her.
Ronnie: Mama 'bey!
GORE: To the wedding chapel!
Master Yoshi: Shouldn't you wake her up first?
GORE: PSSSSSSSSHHHH! There's no time for that! ~picks up Rebe and runs for Elvis's Moon Chapel o' Love~
Author: Luiigii of the Pipes
~Planet Ushutar of Anti-Space is a bustling world in which the inhabitants all make and deliver pizza across the universe at exactly the time you wanted it, as a complete and utter contrast to Planet Ushutar of Real-Space in which the inhabitants order pizza from across the universe, accuse the deliverer of being even a millisecond late or early, and then proceed to disintegrate the offending world. Unfortunately for Z-Ushutar, their customers have all begun demanding their pizzas be delivered FIVE MINUTES BEFORE ORDERED and the consequent time travel has left the temporal stability of the planet in shambles, not to mention raised for them a rather hefty tax from the Galactic Committee of Time-Space Misappropriation.~
Loogi: So, uh, why exactly DID we dump the girl back there?
Luiigii: We have all the hostages we need. The Gamehikers will follow the MPOM, and Rebe will join them. And then we'll see the commencement of my ascension.
gor-killa: To evil?
Luiigii: That may be.
Loogi: Wouldn't that be descent?
Luiigii: ~glare~ Shut up and land.
~The Flying Monkey drops down into the center of a ring of Ushatarians, tentacles folded in prayer. Several bounce up and start shouting as Luiigii, Loogi, and gor-killa exit. A decorated Ushatarian floats forward.~
Montevideo: I am Emperor Montevideo of Ushutar and you are seriously pissing off the pizza spirits in this area! Leave now before-- ~suddenly shrinks into a small purple pod with a single, bright-eyed eye stalk~
gor-killa: What was that?
Budapest: Meh, it's a temporal shift. The Emperor is always the first to be-- ~turns into a pod, followed by the rest of the Ushatarians~
Loogi: Good thing we nicked these Personalized Temporal Shields (PTS) from Party Crashers central, eh gor-killa?
gor-killa: Indeed my friend. Right before they booted us and you left for seven years without a word...
Loogi: Ha, yeah. Funny story. I was dead.
gor-killa: Oh? Forgive my prying then, good buddy.
~gor-killa is interrupted by an infant's cry. He and Loogi turn to see Luiigii shrunken into a baby (yes his clothes too).~
gor-killa: Oh Dog...
Loogi: Shut up shut up! This is my chance for revenge! ~pulls out laser saber~ Can't fight back now, can ya!?
~Loogi raises his saber. Luiigii stares with puppy dog eyes.~
Loogi: :sweat:
~Loogi steps forward. Luiigii sticks out his lower lip.~
Loogi: Gah! I can't! Just look at him! He's doing this on purpose!
Luiigii: Dada Loogi!
Loogi: HE'S MOCKING ME!
gor-killa: Want me to finish him? I ate a baby once.
Loogi: NO! He called me daddy! I have a moral obligation to raise and nurture him as my own!
gor-killa: You don't HAVE morals!
Loogi: Seven years in Hell has changed my mind... ~picks up Luiigii piggyback~
gor-killa: But if there's a temporal shift again, he'll be back to normal and bossing us around anyway.
Loogi: Or WILL he... ~pulls out a spare PTS and slips it onto Luiigii's wrist~ Mwa ha! I'm sure I won't regret this one second!
~Luiigii starts crying. Loogi and gor-killa talk over him.~
gor-killa: So what do we do now? Carry on with his plan?
Loogi: No. We'll follow a much more devious plan than HE could ever come up with.
gor-killa: ...so we're going to recruit the Ushatarian army and use them to strong arm the Party Crashers into joining us and beating the crap out of the Gamehikers and assuring our places as villains in this series.
Loogi: ...yes exactly. I think there was more, but Luiigii wouldn't tell me.
~The Ushatarians turn back to normal.~
Montevideo: As I was saying...weren't you all adults five minutes ago?
Loogi: No.
Montevideo: Convincing argument. Now about you--
Loogi: I want to recruit your army.
Montevideo: ABSOLUTELY NOT! There is no price you could conceivably pay!
Budapest: Ahem! ~whispers into Montevideo's ear~
Montevideo: That is, no conceivable price BUT for you to calm these raging pizza spirits that we worship. They've taken to following a man named Pepper Ronin from R-Space, who wants to recruit them and beat up a bunch of "Gamehikers" who ignored him in GMOG Forever?!
gor-killa: Just like us! Almost.
Montevideo: You beat him up, and our army is yours ((Saturday afternoon from 3:00pm to 3:00:01pm)).
Loogi: Done deal!
Author: Masamune
Director: ... and there. I wrote in a way to get into Anti-Space.
Masamune: Finally. I was hoping Vorpal's author would get this going, but apparently he faked out.
Vorpal: Sure, take it all out on me just because my author isn't here. *throws hands in the air and turns to Misty* I have to deal with this, all the time.
Misty: There, there hon. At least you weren't killed off to provide an angsty background for your significant other.
Vorpal: Heheh, that's true... - HEY! Why you gotta be like that?
Camera: More lower lip there, Vorpal. That's it... there ya go...!
Vorpal: Someone get this crazy camera out of here!
Camera: Anger. Emotion. I love it! Now love ME! LOVE THE AUDIENCE.
Vorpal: *holds up hand in front of the camera and walks off*
Camera: Ah, celebrities.
Masamune: That just leaves one piece of unfinished business.
~Later, at the Livingston Manor. I mean apartment~
Golem: I thought it was you, Sapphire!
Sapphire: Just because my alter-ego is Lady in Red doesn't mean ALL LADIES IN RED ARE ME!
Golem: But but but she looked just like you...!
Sapphire: JUST LIKE ME!? I don't HAVE blue hair! Slam Door!
Golem: I bow my head. Man... I wish I had a great memory.... Ditto always had a great memory.
Flashback:
Golem: I am... Party Goer no more.
Ditto: I don't remember this movie reference.
Golem: What!? Spider-Man 2! We've only done this scene like ten times! Jeez, Ditto.
Ditto: Get out of my car.
Golem: Maybe I'm thinking of someone else.
Masamune: I am behind you. And perhaps you are thinking of me.
Golem: I am surprised! I stand in wonder at how you have appeared like this. How are you?
Masamune: I nod eagerly at your greeting. I am doing well. I inquire as to the state of your relationship.
Golem: I respond that things are going poorly and- hey! Why am I saying all this stuff?
Masamune: Vorpal called the new Narrator a country hick. We're on our own for the rest of this post.
Golem: Oh, well I'll just get some tildes and- I walk into the apartment door and hit my head. Ow.
Masamune: Tough luck, pal. We're going to Anti-Space to do something, I don't remember at this point. We need you along as a central focus to provide a sharp relief to mine and Vorpal's ever amusing bickering.
Golem: Count me in! Tilde Tee Hee Tilde! ... it's just not the same.
Author: Vorpal
Vorpal: All right! All riiiiight!
Golem: Say it.
Vorpal: mumblemumble
Golem: What?
Vorpal: I said I wouldn't--
Golem: I can't hear you!
Vorpal: I said I wouldn't call the narrator a dumb hick anymore! Happy?
Golem: ~teehee~ ... Quite.
Vorpal: All right, well let's move this Sky Palace into Anti-Space.
Director: Finally! You can be in a flying fortress so long without doing something super special awesome.
Vorpal: Yup *pats the control panel* I haven't flown one of these in a proper OG since... well... I don't actually remember. Only problem is that I fired my entire original crew, and this thing can't be flown solo. So.... PREPARE FOR ANTI-SPACE TRANSPORTATION!
*Masamune, Misty, Director, Camera, and Golem all run around scrambling until they find a spot and start working the controls.*
Vorpal: Excellent! Now I shall take my place at the helm-- what!? I thought I told you to get out!
Roy: *passed out in the captain's chair* Gaaaaah...
Vorpal: Alley Oop! *throws Roy out a window*
Roy: AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
Vorpal: Fire up the thrusters!
Misty: Firing thrusters!
Vorpal: Set Anti-Space circuits on!
Masamune: Anti-Space circuits on!
Vorpal: Make sure my DVDs got returned to Blockbuster!
Director: Accidentally broke them!
Vorpal: Get me a latte!
Golem: Here you are, master!
Vorpal: *sips* Oh! Hot hot hot hot--
Masamune: WOULD YOU JUST LAUNCH?!?!
Vorpal: -_- Fine... LAUNCH!
Narrator: The Sky Palace lifts off nicely into Space, but does not travel into Anti-Space.
Vorpal: Odd... this should have worked. We did reach 88 miles per hour, right?
Golem: Well... maybe if you remember the last time you went to Anti-Space in this thing...
Vorpal: The last time!? Was there a-- Party Goers 11! I know what to do! Quick! Somebody plug in my MP3 Player! Set it to.... Willie Nelson!
All: GASPS!
*On the Road Again blasts over the Sky Palace's AM/FM Radio*
Misty: Still not making the jump!
Vorpal: The rainbow lollipop! Yes! I forgot! The rainbow lollipop's sugary goodness is what's missing. Does anybody have a rainbow lollipop?
Camera: I've got a raspberry blue lollipop... it's stuck to my underside!
Vorpal: *shudders* It will have to do! *pulls raspberry blue lollipop from Camera and shoves it into the control panel* Here goes nothing!!!!
*Sky Palace blinks out of Real-Space existence*
Author: GORE-ILLA
*The Sky Palace appears in another space.*
Golem: ...Did it work?
Vorpal: Dude, hang on! Let's check around.
Masamune: There's a cow floating out there. That sounds Anti-all laws of physics, so I think we're in the right place.
Vorpal: Vorpatastic!
Misty: Let's stop by that intergalactic truck stop.
Director: (holding up Camera) Alright everyone, back to position one! That came out nice, but I want a safety just in case! Sapphire: Fine, as long as you keep that Camera out of the damned bathroom!
Camera: I told you, I needed the steam from the shower to... uh... cleanse my circuitry!
*Elsewhere on the moon, GORE carries Rebe alongside Master Yoshi, who wheels Ronnie's carriage. They arrive at an area overlooking a fortress.*
Master Yoshi: Alright, we got your mother! Now let's find some way back home so I can watch my stories!
GORE: No! I feel like examining this strange-looking fortress and killing whatever I find inside.
*Trumpets blare as a man rides out from the fortress on a flying Scooter. The man has dark hair, a scarred face and looks very powerful. He also has a cape.*
Master Yoshi: (grabs onto GORE's arm) I think we should get out of here!
GORE: (struggles) No!
*Ronnie begins laughing, while Master Yoshi accidentally bumps into GORE, causing him to send off a missile that just barely misses the caped man's head and explodes. Almost immediately, the three are surrounded by a swarm of security sentinels.*
Caped Man: Halt! How dare you attack I, Tomnis Wimnis the Eighth!
GORE: Who?
Scooter: You fool! He is Tomnis, the mighty ruler of Anti-Space! He is also the moderator of Anti-MySpace!
Tomnis: For attempting to kill me, you all shall die!
GORE: (whispers to Master Yoshi) Psst, Master Yoshi! Is this what a good father would do?
Master Yoshi: (whispers back) No!
=
*Back at the truck stop, everyone checks around.*
Sapphire: Hey, I want some of these Wasa crackers!
Golem: (hands Sapphire a dollar bill) Knock yourself out, babe. I gotta use the bathroom.
*Vorpal is at the counter, talking to the female cashier.*
Vorpal: Hey, I was wondering if-
Misty: (pulls out knife-fans) STAY AWAY FROM HIM, STAY AWAY FROM HIM!
Vorpal: (holds back Misty with all his strength) Calm down girl! I just wanna know if this is Anti-Space.
Cashier: Uh-huh.
Vorpal: Aw, Vorpadelic!
Cashier: What-a delic?
Vorpal: What, don't you have lots of Vorpal-based words here?
Cahsier: I've never heard anything like that before.
Vorpal: Wha- it's in the Jabberwocky.
Cashier: You mean the Wabberjocky? I have a copy right here. It says, "The very sharp blade goes snickety-snack!"
Vorpal: No... no... NO!
Misty: No stupid Vorpal words? I'm starting to like this place!
Cashier: Well... there is someone with a name like that.
Vorpal: What?
Cashier: They once called him Blade. Then he went crazy and... changed...
*Elsewhere, Golem enters the bathroom.*
???: Yeah, most of them are here. Including the leader. Get all the Crashers together, we're gonna have a great time tonight!
*Golem kicks down a random stall and sees Wagolem there on his cell phone. Wagolem shouts out as he tackles Golem over.*
===
???: Looks like I got a call from Ol' Wags.
Music: Well you can tell by the way I walk.
I'm a woman's man, no time to talk.
*The man grabs some hair gel and stuffs it into a giant brown afro.
Music: Music loud and women warm.
I've been kicked around since I was born.
And now it's all right, it's O.K.
And you may look the other way.
*He puts on some shades and kisses a neon ice cream cone for good luck.*
Music: We can try to understand
The New York Times' effect on man.
*The man wips around to reveal himself in a silver 70's suit complete with a glittery cape and begins dancing around beneath a glittering disco ball. He begins to sing with the song.*
Man: Whether you're a brother Or whether you're a mother,
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Uh, uh, uh, uh, stayin' alive, stayin' alive!
===
Cashier: Now he calls himself... Disco Vorp.
Author: The Director
*Meanwhile Steve is treating his employees at UPN ....... badly to put it lightly*
Mariorocks 600: SIR here are those reports you requested.
Steve: I DIDNT REQUEST ANY REPORTS!
*Steve steps on Mariorocks 600*
Steve: I LOVE THIS JOB!
Mariorocks 601: S-sir, the Lead Zeppelin.... err the ship one.
Steve: Yes?
Mariorocks 601: Its been crashed into the UPNs basement like you ordered.
Steve: WONDERFUL, now I can torment the passengers 39 hours a day!
Mariorocks 601: Theres only 24 hours in a day.
Steve: I'd kill you but Im a little preoccupied.
*Meanwhile in UPNs basement the ship is floating.... because the basement is flooded*
Passenger A: Whered the sun go?!?!?!?
Kuria: Ditto what are we gonna do!??!?!?
Ditto: I dunno escape?
Kuria: ITS TOO DANGEROUS- Ditto?
*A cloud shaped like Ditto stood where Ditto was 5 minutes before*
Kuria: *gulp*
Author: Golem
~Staphlycoccus shops beside her looming muscle-bound friend, Ookii, in an Anti-Space supermarket...~
Staphlycoccus: Hum... Wagolem likes the Pyroman brand fuses better, but the Blast-m-Good ones are on sale.
Ookii: Get da ones dat never stay lit. Dat'll grit his nerves. ~clenches fist and grins with satisfaction~
Staphlycoccus: Oh, but whenever I "grit his nerves," he gets out... the scarf. This time it's especially important, he's got a big to-do tonight. I'll just get the Pyroman brand.
~Staphlycoccus puts the fuses in her cart and pushes it up to the cashier, a familiar robed demon...~
Acku Gin: ~scanning all of the items in Staphlycoccus' shopping cart~ Ah, out getting your weekly bomb materials, ladies?
Ookii: Shove it.
Staph: Yep! Wagolem's got quite a hullabaloo planned for tonight!
Acku Gin: Sounds exciting! ~puts the last item in a bag and puts it in Staph's cart~ Well, enjoy yourselves tonight, then! Smile
~At the moon truck stop bathroom...~
Golem: HEEEAAA--~Wagolem muffles Golem with his hand.~
~Golem tries to shove Wagolem off of him, but fails. Golem manages to close the stall door at his feet by using his feet, and the door slams into Wagolem's back, causing him to collapse on top of Golem. Golem then rolls over and gets up, dashing for the door. Wagolem is soon up and after him, punching him in the back and sending Golem through the doorway. He lands in front of Masamune, Vorpal, Sapphire, Misty, Director, and Camera, and they watch the two fight.~
Wagolem: ~raising a leg to kick Golem~ You're going to pay for what you did to me!!
Golem: ~tripping up Wagolem while his one leg is in the air, causing Wagolem to fall and preventing his kick~ What did I do to you?!
Sapphire: ~to cashier~ Hey, do you have any popcorn?
Wagolem: ~getting up~ I dunno! You, buh... it's complicated!!
Golem: ~standing up, tries to dodge a punch from Wagolem but instead Golem takes it in his shoulder~ Ow! Then maybe we should talk about it!!
~Wagolem stops attacking. The two stand still.~
Wagolem: Wait... you mean talk about my problems?
Golem: Haha, yeah, that is weird. Nevermind. ~throws a punch at Wagolem~
~Wagolem gets out his cell phone and dials a number while fighting Golem.~
Wagolem: Hey! Get your butt to the truck stop on the moon! I need some backup!
~Sapphire swipes the phone from Wagolem's hand. Wagolem tries to swipe it back, but while he's distracted, Golem kicks him in the stomach. Vorpal walks over and holds him to the ground.~
Sapphire: Hello? Who is this?
~Masamune walks up to Golem.~
Masamune: Wagolem. Watch closely.
~Masamune backhands Golem.~
Golem: Oww! What was that--
Masamune: THAT is how you deal with Golem. I'm very disappointed in you, Wagolem. I will now backhand Golem again as your punishment. ~backhands Golem~
Golem: Owch!!
OoC: Ookii is Chibi's Anti-Space counterpart.
Author: Masamune
Wagolem: *backhands Golem through a brick wall* Golly! It works!
Vorpal: ... "Golly"... come on. That's awful.
Acku Gin: I THINK IT'S FITTING!
~Staphlycoccus, Ookii, and Acku Gin in a dress burst through and pose~
Masamune: Nice dress.
Acku Gin: We're WAGOLEM'S ANGELS, gimme a breack.
Staphlycoccus: Time to go down you Anti-Anti-Spacers!
Ookii: That goes double for me! Just like my vowels!
Camera: Yes. Yes. Show me those poses ladies. Just bend forward and give us a tantalizing cleavage shot.
Director: I don't think now is the time for-
Acku Gin: *lands a punch on Director's face* Take THAT, veggie boy!
Director: ... that was supposed to be a punch?
Acku Gin: ... shut up!
~all hell breaks lose. Sapphire and Misty take on Staphlycoccus and Ookii while Eggplant laughs at Acku Gin. Masamune and Vorpal watch the girls fight while slurping down icees~
Masamune: Man. This is just SWELL.
Vorpal: *slurp slurp slurp* I dunno, it's not Vorpal flavored but-
Masamune: NOT THAT! *backhands Golem who is walking by while fighting Wagolem* I meant the cat fight!
Vorpal: Oh... right right!
~suddenly then Big Bull and Fluutar walk in~
Big Bull: GIMME MY WATER- hey. What's going on. *picks up Wagolem out of a fight* You causing trouble again, shrimp?
Wagolem: No. They attacked us.
Big Bull: In MY obscure gas station! Those punks are going down!
Fluutar: Let's get 'em!
~Masamune and Vorpal are suddenly drawn into a fight with Big Bull and Fluutar. Soon enough the Anti-Spacers have won and the Gamehikers are detained and tied up~
Big Bull: Now for my water-
Wagolem: First I have to dispose of GOLEM! He will pay for what he may have possibly done to me!
Masamune: Hey guys, anything you want me to pass on to your next of kin when you all die?
Vorpal: Blah blah you're immortal, WE GET IT OKAY.
Wagolem: Quiet! I must EXTRACT my revenge with a deviously slow trap! I have planted a BOMB inside of the cashier's head! I have duct taped her to the ceiling... and when she explodes... the roof will collapse on you and possibly cause fatal injuries!
Misty: You MONSTER!
Wagolem: Stuff it, lady. Ladies. *snaps fingers* We out.
Staphlycoccus/Ookii: OhhhhGolem he's so dreamyGolem
Acku Gin: Like, I know right?
~Wagolem and his angels leave. Big Bull and Fluutar fill up on water and leave as well~
Masamune: Now you guys will never get to see my robotic mother. It's a shame really.
Sapphire: I hate you for bringing me into this.
Vorpal: At least I'll get to die with you, Misty!
Misty: Oh Vorpal!
~they both begin passionately making out~
Sapphire: Oh COME on.
Golem: *sighs* When did the music die...
Camera: Ooooooooohhhhhh yyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhh
~awkward minute passes~
Director: The bomb is almost going to go off... I guess this is better than dying in a desert...
????: NOT WHILE I'M HERE! *kicks down door*
Cashier: Mmmmff mmmmf!
Masamune: Pardon?
Golem: She said "Look! It's Senor Burro!!"
Senor Burro: Worry not, citizens! Alert me to the problem!
~from behind Senor Burro pops out an overweight man with a crooked stache~
WarioFan 64: There's a bomb in the cashier!
Senor Burro: I must disarm it!
~they pull down the cashier. A frantic thirty seconds pass and they have a bomb out of the cashier's head, but there's only ten seconds left. They have the bomb open with the multi colored cords exposed~
Senor Burro: ... which color to cut...!
Vorpal: Hurry up, mysterious hero!
Senor Burro: .... red! *cuts it* *the bomb keeps ticking* Ach!
WarioFan 64: I've got it!!!! *grabs the bomb and runs out of the gas station.... an explosion is heard seconds later*
Senor Burro: WARIOFAN!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *falls to the knees* Why! WHY! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARVEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!
WarioFan 63: *pops up from behind Senor Burro and pats him on the back* There, there senor. He was a brave amigo, you must not weep for him.
Senor Burro: *wipes away tear and stands* You're right.
Masamune: Umm... you seem familiar. Who are you?
WarioFan 63: Who is he? Why he's SENOR BURRO! The greatest masked vigilante hero in the entire world!
Masamune: ... huh. Nope, never heard of him.
Author: The Director
*Steve harasses his employees part two*
SteveT: So Kuria is it.
Kuria: Y-yes sir.
SteveT: Your Boyfriend left you huh.
Kuria: Y-yes sir.
SteveT: Stop that.
Kuria: Y-yes s-
*Steve punches Kuria*
Steve: Mariorocks!
Mariorocks 678: Yes?
Steve: Tale this lovely lady to my lovely lady tank.
Mariorocks 678: WHY COITENLY!
*Mariorocks 678 drags Kuria into SteveTs lovely lady tank*
Kuria: What is this place?!?!
Zora: I've been here for 9 years.
Kuria: Ok ok, go on.
Neo: Hey me too.
Kuria: I see...
Steve: DANCE LOVELY LADIES DANCE!
*Meanwhile starring down from an alleyway, a Mariorocks stares at Steve*
???: This guy is even worse than Donkeyman..... good thing I defected when I did. Now then to find some work.
*Mariorocks 65 now known as Nintendofreak spies a help wanted sign with an eggplant on it*
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