Member OG Special Edition Part 1
Chapter One: “Stolen Cheesecake”
by GORE-ILLA, based on chapters written by Yami Yoshi, Sir Lupus the Turk, GORE-ILLA, Fusion, BSD, and Introbulus.
Scene One: Yami Yoshi has a crisis.
The teenage yoshi sighed aloud as he sat slumped into a large armchair. The television fizzled before him. Nothing good was on as usual, and checking his watch, he realized there were still a few hours until The Simpsons came on. He looked like most yoshis, with the big nose, saddle-like back and white stripe running down from his cheeks to his stubby tail. His arms were skinny and pretty weak compared to his powerful legs. He had black skin and eyes, wore blue sneakers, and had an odd, egg-shaped ornament hanging from his neck. He had jokingly called the golden egg with silver spots the "Millennium Egg" after another of his favorite shows, Yu-Gi-Oh. In fact, it was his love of Yu-Gi-Oh that earned him the name of "Yami Yoshi".
"Man, I'm hungry! I think I'll raid the fridge." Yami Yoshi climbed to his feet and began slowly walking towards the kitchen of his egg-shaped house. As you might have guessed, he is an inhabitant of Yoshi's Island, located off the coast of Japan (at least in this series.)
There was another special thing about this yoshi. He was a Moderator, one of the few selected to guard the secrets of the Boards, which archive famous battles, contests, adventures, and parties of the past, under the supervision of a worldwide organization called VGF. This particular "Mod" was in charge of Ongoing Stories - or OGs as they were often called. The OGs documented historical adventures, including the tales of the legendary Party Goers whom, sadly, have mysteriously disappeared and with them went many recollections of their quests.
Yami entered the kitchen, which lay in shambles - more so then usual. Bowls and cookbooks covered the floor, and several of his koopa shells lay shattered on the floor. Wondering what had happened, he rushed to the fridge and opened the door. It wasn't there.
Sure, there were eggs, juice, soda, iced tea, lemonade, and various types of food there. But only It was missing. The yoshi panicked. "What? I-it can't be... SOMEONE STOLE MY CHEESECAKE!!!!" He quickly slammed the door shut and inspected the handle with a magnifying glass. He had studied fingerprints of dangerous villains or SPAMmers as the Mods had called them. It was because of this that Yami immediately identified the thief. "I knew it! It's Lupus!" he yelled.
"What?" asked a voice coming from behind Yami. He spun around and found himself facing Lupus himself. He was tall and appeared to be a human between seventeen and twenty-one years old. He wore baggy clothes and had short, green, spiky hair. He was one of the three infamous commanders of the TWIFATIT organization - a crime syndicate set on converting the world to Sheitism and proving that the world is, in fact, flat. A sack was draped over his shoulder and he was already hanging halfway out Yami Yoshi's window.
“You stole my cheesecake,” Yami explained, “But you're not in this scene. I'm supposed to say your name, then the scene changes to your evil mountain lair of clichéd doom.”
Lupus nodded, “Right,” as he leaped out the window and ran into the distance.
Yami Yoshi yelled out, “Somebody should do something!” A long silence followed. Yami shrugged, sat down and began playing Advance Wars on his Game Boy Advance.
Scene Two: Enter the Villain.
The EVIL Mountain Lair of Clichéd Doom, an insane looking fortress sitting atop a monstrous mountain, overlooked a great forest. A man was currently dashing up the long mountain trail. The castle was filled with endless halls and corridors. Hidden somewhere in the base was the main command deck.
The walls were decorated with paintings of famous dictators and random celebrities. A large, expensive throne was located in the center of the room. Sitting in the throne was a turtle-like figure. A Koopa Troopa to be more precise. He had a red shell, hooked bill, and black eyes. He spoke in a deep, booming voice, “Where is he? He’s half an hour late!”
Lupus suddenly dashed into the room, still holding the sack and panting for air. “Ski lift’s out,” he spoke between his deep breaths.
The koopa immediately hopped off the luxurious throne and bowed to his boss. He spoke in a cracking voice, “H-how are you, Sir Lupus the Turk? I cleaned your clichéd throne, sire.”
“Good, Koopa. Now fix those ski lifts!” Koopa nodded and began to walk towards the exit while Lupus suddenly pulled a cheesecake out of his sack, held it above his head, and burst out, “YAMI YOSHI'S CHEESECAKE IS ALL MINE! MINE!! SOON I CAN BEGIN MY ULTIMATE EVIL PLOT SO FAR... TO MAKE THE WORLD CONVERT INTO SHEITISM!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
Koopa asked, “And a cheesecake is going to help you do that how?”
Lupus replied, “It’s not.”
A long pause followed.
Lupus broke the silence by yelling, “Ski lift's calling!”
“Right,” Koopa acknowledged as he rushed outside.
Scene 3: A Mad Lot of Foreshadowing.
But little did Yami Yoshi know that during that moment in time, five other warriors were destined to meet with him, and change his formerly simple life forever. The powerful gorilla, the master of metal, the “perfect” fighter, the newbie hybrid, and the noble swordsman…
Scene 4: GORE-ILLA’s Construction.
EVIL Scientist Dude laughed maniacally in his laboratory. He was tall, with crazy hair, goggles, and your usual mad scientist getup. The lab was part of a TWIFATIT-owned village in the shadow of Lupus’s mountain lair, inhabited mostly by the Turk’s gorilla slave army. “It is complete at last! My ultimate creation!” he yelled, just before he bent over and pulled a tray of frozen pizza out of the oven. “I think I should check on the other experiment,” he said as he turned to a table in the middle of the room.
Lying strapped to the middle of the room was a large gorilla with dark-brown fur. However, his right arm, left leg, and the left half of his face were completely mechanized complete with a blank black eye. He was asleep at the moment, with a memory download wire plugged into his mechanical ear.
EVIL Scientist declared, “At least he is complete! I will call him… GORE-ILLA!!! (Man I’m high)” The scientist then unplugged the memory download wire. GORE-ILLA’s mechanical left eye glowed red as the bright sun.
GORE scoured his database for memories of who he was, in backwards order. Violently attacked by the giant rubber duckie – being assigned to clean the rubber duck stables by Gorilla Number 508 – 508 bearing a distinct grudge against him – falling in love with 508’s sister – waking up one morning in a slave camp – and nothing more.
That accounted only for the past two or three years, yet GORE estimated himself to be about thirty years old. Where were the other memories of his past? It was then he noticed the maniacal scientist standing before him. The muscular gorilla grunted as he leapt from to the floor, lifted the table above his head, and flung it across the room. It flew right over Scientist Dude’s head and shattered into pieces upon hitting the wall. GORE-ILLA then tore his way through the lab as the professor took cover behind collapsed machinery until the giant ape leapt out the window.
EVIL Scientist strolled casually through his ruined lab and reached for the pepper.
Scene Five: A God-Modder is born.
“You’ve gone too far, Giovanni. I will not do this,” said the figure angrily. He was tall, covered completely with gold armor and wearing a black cape.
“Oh no Fusion, you must. I order you to assassinate Yami Yoshi or die. I created you, and you will obey my orders!” spoke Giovanni, black-haired leader of Team Rocket garbed in a black tuxedo.
The golden-armored figure, now identified as Fusion, spoke in disgust. “That’s it! I’ve had enough of you, Giovanni! I quit!” He then immediately flew through the roof of the Team Rocket headquarters and took off into the sunset.
Giovanni stared through the gaping hole in the wall as Fusion escaped and cursed under his breath. But he knew where Fusion was going, and he was also not going to accept another ‘Mewtwo Incident’. He ordered to a Rocket Grunt standing guard near the door, “Soldier, deploy the army… to Yoshi Island.
Scene Six: Introbulus for Hire.
Deep in space:
The blonde-haired man scoffed as he held the device, which was handheld and bore a striking resemblance to an old Game & Watch handheld. He pressed a button on the machine, which buzzed, “Good morning, Introbulus. Your mission today is directly from headquarters. You must help a group of heroes in the war against the TWIFATIT crime syndicate. Thank you.”
The man now identified as Introbulus quickly tossed on some silver armor concealing all his body but his head and donned a black cape. He then turned around to see a red cloak seemingly floating behind him. No visible body could be seen beneath the cloak, with the exception of two glowing evil eyes.
Introbulus spoke, “C’mon, Jim! We’ve got a mission straight from HQ!”
“Alright, but I’m driving this time. And make sure you use the bathroom before we leave this time!” said Jim the enchanted cloak as he followed Introbulus through the shambled room to a docking bay where a station wagon was parked. A black portal opened before them at Jim’s command, and the duo dashed through it.
Scene Seven: Dragoshi appears. Meh. Beh. Meh.
In Tokyo, Japan, loud footsteps echoed throughout the vast city. Hundreds of troops marched through the streets, waving a flag bearing the infamous TWIFATIT insignia – an emblem of a flat earth. However, they found their path blocked by one creature. Like Yami Yoshi, he was a black yoshi. But unlike Yami, he had long claws, messy brown hair, and a large pair of purple wings. A sheath was strapped to one of his wings. He was known as Black Skull Dragoshi. Dragoshi reached into his sheath and drew his multicolored Rainbow Sword.
Dragoshi roared loudly as he rushed into the crowd, swinging his sword around threateningly. He hacked, slashed, clawed, and bit his way through the platoon. But he began to tire after the first five or so soldiers.
Panting for breath, Black Skull Dragoshi was forced to retreat, flapping his wings at full speed to escape the troop.
Scene Eight: The Defender of Cheesecake
A teenager lay asleep in his bed; a legendary sword lay next to his bed. His shaggy, dirty-blonde hair was visible, as well as a large amount of food scattered across his bed. He sat up in bed and turned on the television. The news reporter stated conveniently, “In other news, Lupus has apparently kidnapped Yami Yoshi's cheesecake and has been held it hostage for the past 3 days!”
The man leaped up from the bed in the one-room bachelor pad in shock and announced, “WHAT!!?? I must punish him for this atrocity! For I am.....” He quickly unsheathed the sword and held it above his head, wearing only his light blue pajamas with bunny slippers as he yelled, “SwordMaster, Defender of Cheesecake!!!” A small fanfare played in the background.
SwordMaster immediately dashed outside and then realized that he was still wearing his pajamas. He ran back inside, and then came back out in darkclothes and boots before he noticed that he had absolutely no idea where Lupus was. So he simply ran into the forest, screeching Xena-style until he stumbled upon it.
To Be Continued in Chapter Two: “Escape From Yoshi Island!”
Chapter Two: “Escape from Yoshi’s Island”
by GORE-ILLA, based on chapters written by GORE-ILLA and Fusion. Team Rocket Omega characters borrowed from Magikoopa.
Scene One: Get ready for one big-ass scene.
Yami Yoshi yawned as he woke up on the couch to hear something rapping heavily at his door. Yami slowly crawled off the sofa, slipped on some blue sneakers, donned his Millennium Egg, and trudged towards the door, yelling, "I'M COMIN', I'M COMIN'!" He twisted the doorknob with his small reptilian hand and slowly opened the door.
Standing on his doormat was a large, burly half-cyborg gorilla. The gorilla extended his oversized paw, which Yami Yoshi reluctantly shook. He appeared to have walked a long way and thus spent no time explaining his proposition. "Hello, Yami Yoshi. I'm GORE-ILLA, and I wish to join you on your quest to stop Lupus."
Yami looked puzzled. "Lupus? Ohhhh yeah, him. (Forgot all about that guy! Hmm, with this big guy with me I might stand a chance of getting back my cheesecake.) Alright, I guess I could let you enroll in my super all-star team to defeat Lupus."
GORE replied, "Thanks, we need to take down that TWIFATIT menace before he destroys the world. (Heh, with this guy on my side, I could use him to track the cheesecake and Lupus - so that way I get the cheesecake for myself and threaten Lupus 'til he tells me about my past.) Pleasure to be doing business with you."
Suddenly, a loud siren was heard as a variety of vehicles all parked on the island's shore, led by a Flying Submarine. Hundreds of Team Rocket Grunts poured out of the crafts armed with pokeballs. "Team Rocket?!" Yami Yoshi and GORE exclaimed in unison. They dashed inside, and then barred the door shut.
But that did not matter, as there was already a gaping hole in the wall and a man covered in gold armor lying on the couch. Yami and GORE got in position, but the man silenced them as he yelled, "I'm not a Rocket! I'm Fusion, don't hurt me!" Yami and GORE looked at each other in confusion. "I was created by Team Rocket, but I rebelled and escaped once they ordered me to kill you," he continued, pointing to Yami Yoshi.
"How do we know that’s true?" Yami interrogated.
"There's no time!" shouted as pokeballs flew through the windows and hole in the wall, releasing a small army of dangerous pokemon.
"Follow me if you want to live!" as said Fusion as he flew through the wall. GORE and Yami ran out after him, the latter complaining about his ruined house.
They rushed into the flower fields. "Where's Lupus's base, GORE?" Yami asked.
"If I remember correctly," GORE-ILLA stated, "it should on a mountain somewhere in the Rocky Mountain Range, back in America."
"Why didn't you say so?! We're going the wrong way!" Fusion yelled as he turned around in midair and sped back towards the Team Rocket army, GORE and Yami lagging behind again. The Rocket Grunts began firing bazookas, nets, and various other weapons at the trio, which they surprisingly dodged.
GORE leapt headfirst into the crowd, punching out, tripping, and kicking as many nameless Grunts as he could. Fusion fired blasts of energy that incinerated various members. And Yami Yoshi tossed explosive black eggs with red spots which he called "Dark Eggs".
Standing at the back of the group was the leader of the raid, the three known as Team Rocket Omega. MagiKoopa was the leader, a mysterious turtle who wore a hooded cloak concealing all but his shady koopa face. BomberMan looked like a dark version of the miniature mechanical video game star bearing the same name. Lastly, Mecha Sonic looked like he had hopped right out of the Sonic Mecha Madness comics - a blue mechanical hedgehog with a large inventory of weapons. All three stood before a flying submarine which had a large, red "R" painted on it.
They were surrounded by dead or wounded Team Rocket members on every side. Yami Yoshi, Fusion, and GORE-ILLA faced off with the trio. "Ah, it appears that Yami Yoshi and his group have not been underestimated," Magi spoke in an ancient tone.
Yami Yoshi asked, "Who the hell are you?"
BomberMan piped up, "Don't speak that way to Magi, you retarded dinosaur!"
GORE-ILLA threatened, "Cork it, puny!”
Mecha Sonic interfered, "My sensors detect that an unsuccessful comeback has just been formed by your vocal chords."
Fusion retorted, "Um… sense this!"
The fight began. Mecha Sonic jetted towards Fusion, and the two had a high speed, DBZ-like battle. GORE tackled BomberMan and repeatedly punched him. And Yami Yoshi danced anxiously to dodge the fireballs shooting from Magi's wand.
A propeller emerged from Bombsie's back, causing himself and GORE-ILLA to shoot upward. Bomber then flipped over, leaving GORE hanging several hundred feet above Yami Yoshi's head, held up only by his hand wrapped around BomberMan's neck. The tiny robot jerked around suddenly in midair, shaking GORE and nearly causing him to lose his grip. BomberMan then produced a lit bomb from nowhere and held it above his head. GORE brought up his legs and kicked BomberMan in the stomach, wrapping his legs around the small alien in the process. "What are you doing?!" BomberMan exclaimed, "Your weight is draining the BombCopter's energy, and we'll both fall!"
GORE-ILLA smirked, "At least I won't die alone." So GORE, BomberMan, and the armed bomb fell towards the ground at amazing speed.
Fusion and Mecha Sonic flew towards each other also at an amazing speed. Mecha fired several lasers from cannons attached to his hands, which Fusion deflected with his forearm. He then rammed into the metal rodent, causing it to double back in pain. MS quickly recovered as Fusion began his next assault and blocked all of his attacks.
Metal Sonic taunted, “I fear that your chances of victory are decreasing by each passing moment.”
“You have yet to see my true power!!!” said Fusion as he charged dark energy between his two hands. He finally screamed, “Shadow Blam!” and released a blast of pure darkness which slingshotted Mecha Sonic into the distance.
Yami Yoshi darted back and forth to avoid the fireballs flung by the angry MagiKoopa, who floated above the ground surrounded by a bubble of magic energy. The Yoshi was breathing heavily from exhaustion, but he still had enough energy to form a Dark Egg and fling it towards the cloaked Koopa, although it didn’t even make it through the shield.
MagiKoopa laughed at the small dinosaur’s pitiful attempts. “Do you really think you can beat an elite Team Rocket officer? I have yet to even use my Pokemon!” The tip of his wand protruded through the bubble and began to fire magic blasts more rapidly then before. Yami stared upward in search of anything that could help him. He then smirked as he realized something. The fourteen-year old yoshi then flung another Dark Egg towards Magi, who continued to snicker. “You really don’t give up, do you?”
“No, especially when I’m about to win!” Yoshi replied as the Dark Egg landed on the exposed area of Magi’s wand, exploding on contact. The staff slipped out of the koopa’s claws and fell to the floor as the bubble shield vanished.
MagiKoopa opened his mouth to say something, but was drowned out by the screams of GORE-ILLA and BomberMan, who fell right on MagiKoopa and squashed him against the grassy ground. GORE climbed off the two crushed Rockets and rushed off to rejoin Yami Yoshi. Then Mecha Sonic skidded across the land and right into his two partners, sending the trio flying backwards, through the open entrance to the submarine, and into the far wall, where they sat piled atop each other.
“This can’t possibly get any worse,” Magi stated in anger.
“Please do not utter those words, we do not wish to provoke Murphy’s La-“ said Mecha Sonic until he was cut off by BomberMan, who had at that time felt something in his hand.
Bombsie asked, “Hey, what’s this?” as he opened his fist to find the lit bomb at the end of its fuse.
All of them stared in shock, and there was only enough time to shout to Yami’s group, “You’re pretty bold, but you’re no Party Goers!”
Maybe the surplus supply of bombs and bombinators stored aboard the ship helped, but a second later the entire shuttle went up in flames. The Team Rocket Omega trio was sent flying through space as they shouted, “Looks like Team Rocket Omega’s blasting off again!” before they disappeared into the horizon, appearing as a distant star.
Yami Yoshi, GORE-ILLA, and Fusion stared at the sky for a moment. Yami Yoshi turned to Fusion and apologized, “Sorry for doubting you. You can join our quest.”
“Thanks,” Fusion nodded as he reached out with both arms. A large piece of metal levitated into the air as the warrior concentrated, and he was able to shape the wreckage into a makeshift boat.
“Cool!” GORE approved as the three heroes hopped into the boat. “Now we’re off to stop Lupus!” Fusion then put his telekinesis towards and the boat speeded off across the Atlantic Ocean.
Scene Two: This guy should meet Mysterious Silhouette.
Giovanni sat at his desk nervously. His forehead was dotted with perspiration. The Italian mobster knew that He would not tolerate another failure after the Mewtwo incident. His targets had escaped, and, even worse, he had learned that the gorilla was among one of the escapees.
A red button flashed on his control panel, indicating an incoming message. He was uneasy, wondering whether he should accept or not. Finally he swallowed his heart and pressed the button.
A dark cloaked figure appeared on the viewscreen. He spoke in a disgusted, yet muffled voice, “You disappoint me for the last time, Giovanni.”
“Please, sir…” Giovanni pleaded. “I need one more chance! I’ll make sure not one of the three live! I have an organization to run, a son I’ve never se-“
“No. Goodbye, fool. Your worthless life ends now.”
The figure’s hood slid off. Giovanni stared in horror at the murderer’s face. He screamed as sparks of electricity hopped around his body, growing larger and larger until he was encased completely in the power. Lightning flew across his mouth as his eyes went completely white. Finally, the electricity stopped as Giovanni lay slumped against the desk.
If anyone where to examine him, Giovanni would appear to be in perfect health if not for his blank eyes and the fact that he is no longer living.
To Be Continued in Chapter 3: “Battle in the City”. As Yami Yoshi, GORE-ILLA, and Fusion confront a con artist, Lupus faces friction with his mysterious supplier
Chapter Three: “Battle in the City”
by GORE-ILLA, based on chapters written by Fusion, and Yami Yoshi.
Scene One: Fusion gets mugged. Big surprise.
The makeshift raft pulled up on some beach along the Eastern coast of the USA. Fusion, Yami Yoshi, and GORE-ILLA climbed out and stretched after one whole day of sailing the ocean with nothing but fish and birds for food. “Man, I’m hungry…” GORE groaned, devouring several hermit crabs as if they were M&M Minis.
Yami Yoshi’s tongue hung out of his mouth, exhausted from catching seagulls throughout the journey. His tongue wrapped around a bundle of blankets he believed to be a plump roasted chicken. A woman then screamed about a dinosaur eating her baby.
Fusion appeared to be sweating beneath his hot gold armor as he caught up to the other two. He proposed, “I think we should find somewhere to eat.” The yoshi and gorilla nodded eagerly.
The trio entered the closest city, known as the City. Yami Yoshi, GORE-ILLA, and Fusion wandered through the many streets, enjoying the sights and all the while looking for a place to eat. They were interrupted by a voice calling them from the side of the road, “May I predict your future?” The trio turned to see a small crate with a blanket covering it and a crystal ball on top. Standing behind the crate was a fortune teller, clothed in a neon robe and hood. He continued, “Come on, you must be concerned about something.”
GORE scoffed, “I don't believe in that stuff! Let’s go, I think I see a diner-“ and froze in place.
The fortune teller smirked beneath his hood. “Now would you like your fortune told?”
Fusion stepped up. “Alright, but first unfreeze GORE.”
The fortune teller sighed and snapped his fingers. GORE fell over on the floor and let off a string of curses. The teller returned his attention to Fusion. “The mystics require that I charge up front, and they accept only credit cards.”
“Alright,” Fusion grumbled as he pulled out a credit card he had somehow acquired along his path to Yoshi’s Island and handed it to the fortune teller. “Wait, I don’t see any credit card checker thing-“ before he could finish his sentence, the fortune teller kicked the crate at the team and ran off.
“Get back here with my credit card!” Fusion yelled as he pursued the robed figure.
GORE yelled, “I knew he was a con!” as he followed Fusion.
Yami Yoshi yelled, “Hey, wait up!” as he ran after the two super powered warriors at a sluggish pace.
Scene Two: Conference with Mystery Figure Numbah Two!=
Yes, another mysterious figure. This one was, as usual, hidden beneath a large cloak. He sat at the head of the long conference table. Sitting on each side was two figures whom were easily identified as video game characters Bowser and King Boo. And sitting at the opposite end of the table was none other then Sir Lupus the Turk of the TWIFATIT. The cloaked figure spoke in his deep, booming voice, “As you all know by now, I represent the universe’s strongest empire. And we are offering leaders of major organizations such as you chances to live by siding with our empire. At least you’ll be on the winning side.”
King Boo and Bowser hopped up in enthusiasm and willingly signed the document the Cloaked Figure passed along the table. King Boo commented, “The Haunted Union Army will willingly aid your cause!”
“And so will the Koopa Legion!” Bowser guffawed.
The document reached Lupus. He simply laughed, “No.”
The figure appeared shocked. “So Lupus, you would rather die independently then rule the universe at the side of its strongest tyrant? We can get the Illuminati out of your hair with minimal effort!”
“I’m not worried about the Illuminati at all,” Lupus sighed, “and your ultimate empire will always come second to the TWIFATIT. I will never disobey the Sheitish way!” Then, before anyone could say anything more, the chair spun around and Lupus was gone.
Scene Three: Fighting Fortune Teller.=
The fortune teller rushed into an abandoned warehouse. It was large, empty, dank, and dirty. This was his temporary home, at least until his cons paid off. And this time it had, as this credit card would bring him the riches he seeks. Suddenly, the front door blew off its hinges. Standing in the gaping entrance was Fusion and GORE-ILLA. The fortune teller gasped as the two powerhouses approached.
The fortune teller snapped his fingers and yelled, “Time Freeze!” This time, both Fusion and GORE-ILLA were frozen in time. He cackled in satisfaction as he sat down on a rusty crate and cracked open a stolen can of beer.
“Stop right there!” A tired voice shouted. The fortune teller turned to see Yami Yoshi silhouetted in the doorway, panting for air. “Unfreeze my friends right now!”
The fortune teller laughed as he crushed the tin can in his hand. “I won’t take orders from you, pathetic dinosaur! I can only use my Time Freeze once until the existing is cancelled, but I do not need it to defeat such a weakling as you!”
Yami Yoshi gritted his teeth (figuratively, since yoshis don’t have teeth of course) in anger and sprinted towards the robe figure. He rammed his head into the robed elder and caught him by surprise, knocking him off his seat. Yami then produced a Dark Egg and chucked it at the fallen antagonist.
The fortune teller climbed to his feet seconds later, scorched but otherwise unharmed, and sent Yami Yoshi flying back with a magic blast. The dino landed in a pile of rusty crates. “I have other abilities besides my signature time freeze, as you can see.” The fortune teller spoke as he approached the frozen duo. “I sure hit the big one this time! I recognize you guys now - Yami Yoshi, Fusion, and GORE-ILLA! You have quite large bounties on your heads, and since the dead reward is he highest, I’d better get started!”
The fortune teller stretched his arms and open palms forwards facing GORE-ILLA and Fusion. The air surrounding them slowly started to crack. “Oh don’t worry; there’ll be enough of you left to prove my victory! And the yoshi won’t be any problem now!”
Yami crawled out of the wreckage; bruised, bleeding, and angry. His Millennium Egg glowed and swayed as if pushed by a strong wind. A blinding flash enveloped the room as the fortune teller shielded his vulnerable eyes. Yami Yoshi’s silhouette changed, growing thinner, taller, and darker.
The fortune teller stepped back in bewilderment and stuttered, “W-what trickery is this?!”
Through the light, the fortune teller could see the creature’s face staring back at him – and a glowing, egg-shaped symbol appeared on its forehead. The Strange Yami Yoshi spoke in a much deeper and confident-sounding voice. "You! Foolish fortune teller, I challenge you to... A SHADOW GAME!!!"
"Ahem!" said the fortune teller. "I don't play games, especially not with talking lizards!" A black blur dashed past the fortune teller. He turned around to see the Strange Yami Yoshi holding up Fusion's credit card and some other stolen stuff. "Hey! Give that back!"
"Nope. I need this for my SHADOW GAME!!!" He stuffed all of the fortune teller's loot into Yami's own bag of supplies and tossed it up to the ceiling, where it latched onto a hook. "If you want your stuff back, you'll have to beat me in the SHADOW GAME!!!"
"Fine, fine, if you insist. What is this game, praytell?"
"It's the ancient SHADOW GAME!!! of Dance Dance Revolution!" The Strange Yami Yoshi clapped his hands, and two stone platforms floated before them. Each pad had one arrow pointing up, one pointing to the right, one to the left and one pointing down. "These are the Ancient Egyptian Dance Pads. We will each get on one. A random line of directions will magically appear, and you must fulfill those directions to move in that direction."
"Wha?"
"Let me show you." The Strange Yami Yoshi boarded a dance pad, and an up arrow of light appeared suddenly. So the Strange Yami Yoshi stepped on the arrow pointing up, and it caused his Dance Pad to rise several feet into the air. Then the left arrow appeared, and the Strange Yami Yoshi stepped on the left arrow to make it move to the left. "You see?"
"Uh-huh! Looks like fun!"
"Then let's begin. Remember that if you lose or cheat, you'll have to play a PENALTY GAME>-. Now, let the SHADOW GAME!!! begin!"
So Strange Yami Yoshi and the fortune teller each boarded one dance pad and broke out their moves on the pads, moving their pads around in the air and slowly getting closer to the bundle on the ceiling. The fortune teller was surprisingly good for an old man; Yami suspected that he secretly took ballet.
The game continued for some time, and it looked like it was gonna be close. As they approached the ceiling, the Strange Yami said, "Well... you're not thinking of cheating, are you?"
"Nope, I'm gonna win this fair and square. I'm a theif, sure, but a good sport."
"Really?"
"Really."
"So... you're not going to cheat?"
"Uh-huh."
"Not even a little? Just to reveal the evil lying in my heart?"
"For the last time, no! I don't wanna get stuck in your penalty game!"
"What was that?"
"Huh? I said 'For the last time, no! I don't wanna get stuck in your penalty game!'"
"No, I heard you! You said 'Look over there!', and then prepared a magic bolt to throw at me. PENALTY GAME>- time!"
"What? No!"
"It's time to play the PENALTY GAME>- I call The Digestive Tract!" The Strange Yami Yoshi shot out his tongue, wrapped it around the fortune teller and swallowed him whole.
Fusion and GORE-ILLA were unfrozen and fell to the ground. "What just happened?" asked GORE, as all he could see was a bright flash of light.
"I think we're dead. Wow, who woulda known we'd make it to Heaven?"
The light died down to reveal Yami Yoshi, as his normal self, but he looked exhausted. He held the bag in his hands. "The hell?"
"Wow! Good job! Looks like you really put a number on that fortune teller!" said Fusion.
"Hey, let's all get some food to celebrate!" GORE suggested.
"I dunno," said Yami, "I don't feel hungry anymore for some reason."
A glimmer of gold from the bag caught Fusion’s eye, so he quickly reciognized it as his credit card and swiped it from the dinosaur. Fusion beamed beneath his helmet and held it up to the camera, anime-style as he yelled, "Yes! I got my credit card back!"
"Impressive deed." A voice echoed from across the warehouse. "Too bad you will not live to appreciate the joy that accompanies it." The trio turned over to see a green-haired man leaning against the distant wall.
"LUPUS!!!1" the group shouted in unison as the Turk slowly approached them.
Suddenly, Lupus was cut off by a cloaked figure - the very same from earlier. "Lupus! You worthless fool! You refused to join the Alliance, and I now consider you an enemy! Prepare for your demise."
"Really." Lupus stated rhetorically. "And just how do you plan to do that?"
The figure pulled off his cloak, revealing that he was tall, bulky, intimidating, and made of stone. "I am Exodia, the Stone Warrior of V!" He focused a ball of energy between his hands, aimed at Lupus. "Now - OBLIVERATION!!!"
A giant blast flew across the room and caused a giant explosion. When the dust settled, half of the warehouse was completely demolished - and there was no sign of Lupus. Exodia turned to face Yami Yoshi, GORE-ILLA and Fusion. "Now don't think that I have forgotten you puny mortals..."
To Be Continued in Chapter 4: "Exodia" - Lupus goes on an adventure through the afterlife and Yami Yoshi's group is pitted against the deadly Exodia!
Chapter Four: “Exodia”
by GORE-ILLA, based on chapters written by Lupus.
Scene One: Hey, the villain’s dead on the fourth chapter? That sucks.
Exodia’s insane laughter echoed throughout the destroyed warehouse. Yami Yoshi, Fusion, and GORE-ILLA had watched in horror throughout the murder. Exodia turned to face the three heroes and taunted, “Now your time is come! Prepare to be smitten by the might of Exodia! I will begin by smashing your skulls together. Then I’ll kick your ribcage until it snaps like a walnut…” He continued describing his torture methods for quite some time.
Scene Two: The Bar of the Afterlife. Yeah.
It was nothing. A black and endless void of nothing. Lupus suddenly materialized in the middle of the nothing with a black halo floating above his head. “Uh-oh, looks like I’m dead,” he mused. He continued floating for about five minutes, but it wasn’t five minutes seeing it was endless time. “I’m bored.”
Lupus saw a bar with three stools floating in front of it hovering towards him. He slowly pushed himself forward through the void until he reached the bar and seated himself in one of the stools. A bartender stood on the other side of the counter, cleaning glasses. The barman asked, “So, what can I do you for while you’re awaiting Judgment?”
“Exodia betrayed me. I'm now dead.”
“That doesn't sound too bad too me. I mean, I get visitors who tell me that all the time.”
“For real?”
The barman paused. “No.”
“Thanks for trying to cheer me up.”
There was another pause as the two sat there for more of endless time. After serving Lupus a drink, the bartender commented, “You don't know how long I've been here. Ever since Exodia killed me back in 1867 I've been lonely.”
“Why did he kill you?”
“I challenged Bob Yoshi the Moustached. Then Exodia killed me saying he had no use for me.”
“That's very scary because I challenged Yami Yoshi and Exodia killed me saying he had no use for me.”
“And…?”
“...I have reason to believe Bob Yoshi was in some way related to Yami Yoshi.”
“I don't care any more,”
It was then that a dark haloed man wearing a ski mask approached the bar and pulled out a gun. “Give me all your money or I'll kill you all!”
“No,” said Lupus. A bullet pierced his heart seconds later. But, due to the improbability of dying when you're already dead, Lupus was then revived into the real world, in the middle of the same street on which he had died earlier. Lupus then raised his fist in triumph and yelled, “My plan worked! Now, to get my revenge on Exodia! BWAHAHAHAHA!! Koopa! “ as his assistant warped to Lupus’s side.
Scene Three: Back to Exodia!
In the real world, five long hours had passed. Exodia was still threatening the trio, “And then I will melt down your bones into Harwax and sell them to the masses!! MWAHAHAHA!”
Yami Yoshi asked Exodia, “Are you going to actually do it or laugh about it all day?”
Exodia stared in irritation. “You anger me. I think I'll laugh about it some more. Mwaha-“ Exodia’s last words were cut off as a green blur zipped past the stone titan from behind. The blur then skidded to a stop, revealed to be Lupus. He had his knife extended from his outstretched right arm.
Exodia stood there, frozen. A second later his head slipped off his neck, fell to the ground, and shattered. Exodia’s body exploded and scattered stone shrapnel everywhere. “There,” said Lupus.
Yami Yoshi, Fusion, and GORE-ILLA stared in surprise at the Turk. “He-he’s back from the dead!: Yami Yoshi stuttered.
“Yes. And now I don't take orders from anybody. Hiya!” He quickly grabbed Yami Yoshi around the neck and… disappeared into nothingness! “Although that ‘nothingness’ was just a distraction while I sneak out the back door.” Of course! “Well say that next time!” Right.
GORE-ILLA and Fusion now sat there dumbfounded as Lupus took off with their supposed leader. GORE grabbed Fusion by the arm and ordered, “They’ve got Yami! We have to save him!”
Fusion pulled away. “Calm down! That Lupus is a wimp. I could beat him in my sleep!”
GORE then looked away and saw a pair of footprints leading away from the back doorway. “There, footprints! They’ll lead us to Lupus and Yami Yoshi for sure!”
And so the unwilling duo left the half-destroyed warehouse at last and began following the footprints in hopes of reaching Lupus’s hidden base. What surprises will they find in store for them? Find out in Chapter Five: “SwordMaster”
Chapter Five: “SwordMaster”
by GORE-ILLA, based on chapters written by Lupus, Fusion, SwordMaster, and GORE-ILLA.
Scene One: Common Prints
When we last left our heroes, Yami Yoshi had been kidnapped by Lupus the Turk, and now only GORE-ILLA the cyborg gorilla and Fusion the godmodder can save him! Let’s see how that’s doing.
GORE-ILLA ran back and forth with his fur on fire until Fusion decided to put it out with his Fire Extinguisher Ray. “I just knew that would come in handy one of these days.”
“Wow, you really do have every power in the universe. Anyway, our leader is gone. Now I don’t like you, and you don’t like me, but we’ve got to put our differences aside if we’re gonna rescue Yami. Kabish?”
“I think it’s spelled ‘Gabeesh’.”
”That’s it! You’re going down!” GORE tackled Fusion to the ground and repeatedly pummeled him. Fusion kicked him off after shouting out a cheesy name for that attack. Fusion then grabbed GORE by the fur on his head and slammed his face into a tree over and over until he shouted, “Wait Fusion, stop!” Reluctantly Fusion released him.
“What is it?”
“There’s some fingerprints on this tree…” After examining it with his magnifying glass, he concluded, “Yep! These are Lupus’s fingerprints alright - so he's still operating out of his clichéd lair on that mountain over there!!”
”How does everyone know this guy’s fingerprints?”
A senile old man who was passing through stopped to examine those fingerprints and noticed, “Ah, Sir Lupus the Turk has passed through here! Haven’t seen him since ‘Nam…”
“Whatever, let’s move on,” Fusion said as he dashed off into the forest.
"Hey, wait for me!" GORE yelled after the hothead. GORE wouldn't be able to catch up with him on foot, but he quickly hatched a new plan. GORE climbed the palm tree to the top and quickly hopped from treetop to treetop like the Kongs of old.
Scene Two: Lupus is up to something.===
Elsewhere, at Lupus's EVIL Lair of clichéd doom, Lupus pulled Yami Yoshi through a corridor by his arm. He then flung the dinosaur into an open cell. Lupus taunted, “That'll teach you for opposing my Sheiter plans!!”
“But I didn't do anything apart from wanting to make a Cheesecake!!” pleaded Yami.
“SILENCE! Now that you are imprisoned in this easily escapable prison cell, I will now turn my attention to the control panel so you can escape. So there!” Lupus then turned his attention to the control panel as promised, and something on the radar caught his eye. “So it looks like some unexpected guests are approaching our jungle perimeter. They will be taken care of in time.” Lupus concluded by pressing a red button.
Scene Three: GORE VS MISH
GORE-ILLA continued his tree-skipping until a blast of dark energy flew into him from seemingly nowhere. The gorilla was knocked off the tree and fell down to the jungle floor. He immediately hopped to his feet and scanned the area for lifeforms. Finally his bionic eye detected a humanoid creature in the distance. The man wore green robes and a steepled hat obscuring his facial features. GORE had many files about the TWIFATIT stored in his mechanical databank, and so he quickly identifed his assaulter. It was a Man In Steepled Hat, normally called the MISH. They were the more mysterious members of the TWIFATIT and practiced the art of dark magic. This one was currenly charging another blast. GORE wasn't going to let him finish.
GORE quickly gave a quick leap at the MISH and tackled him over- or at least he would have, if the MISH hadn't floated out of his reach at the last possible second. So GORE wound up sliding into the dirt, and before he could even try to get up, an even more powerful dark blast slammed into his back. "Ugh..." grunted GORE as he crawled to his feet and faced the MISH. The MISH only spared an annoying chuckle as he charged his next attack.
Quickly GORE formed a strategy: the gorilla and machine halves of him would have to work together if he were to conquer this foul magician. At least this one isn't freezing me in time, GORE thought to himself in relief. Finally he noticed something. The MISH was facing him as he charged his next attack. When GORE would shift to the side, the MISH would shif as well. GORE continued to shift untl MISH was in the position he wanted.
The MISH blinked as GORE charged him again. Surely the fool wasn't trying the same trick twice? Sure enough, GORE-ILLA tried to tackle the MISH again. With his annoying chuckle, the MISH floated above him. But he didn't notice the vine hanging behind him. GORE grabbed onto the vine instead of hittin the ground again. The momentum caused the vine to swing up and over the tree to the MISH's level. The MISH was too stunned to reply as GORE's mechanical fist slammed into his face, and he passed out. GORE was tempted to check what the MISH looked like beneath his hat, but ultimately resolved that he didn't have time and continued his tree-hopping.
Scene Four: Fusion’s Confuzzlement
Fusion jetted through the forest, drawing closer and closer to the large mountain. Suddenly, something large slammed into his ribs at amazing speed. Fusion saw a giant robot facing him. Built into its chest was a monitor through which Lupus was visible. The fiend spoke, “Hello, Fusion. How do you like my new juggernaut-class Gladiator Destruction Bot Version 5.2? Surely your nose cannot hold its capacity.” Fusion looked at the screen in confusion and recieved a powerful uppercut from the giant Gladiator.
Fusion limped back as Lupus continued, “So the sock is unable to complete its tax refund? Then it cannot operate machinery ever again.” Once again Fusion was distracted by trying to decipher Lupus’s words and got sucker punched in the face by the giant.
Fusion still looked down at the tv screen after his following macaroni speech, and the juggernaut prepared its finishing attack. As it was about to complete its attack, a figure ran between the two fighters and shoved his sword into the robot’s chest, destroying the screen.
The Gladiator reeled back in pain. Fusion dashed towards it and delivered one super powered punch, causing the robot to completely explode. Fusion then looked over at the man and asked, “Who the hell are you?”
The man raised his sword in the air and announced, “Why I am…” The background became several flashing colors as a glint appeared on the man’s sword. “SwordMaster, Defender of Cheesecake!” A small fanfare played before the background returned to normal. “I wish to join you on your quest.”
“Alright,” Fusion agreed.
But before another word could be said, the gates to a small village near the mountain busted open. Exactly nine hundred and ninety-nine gorillas stampeded out to greet the intruders, stopping just before SwordMaster and Fusion.
They all had numbered nametags, and the leader’s reading “508”. Gorilla 508 challenged, “Surrender now, fools, to the Gorilla Army of Sir Lupus the Turk of the TWIFATIT or prepare for immediate destruction.”
Fusion observed, “There are ninety-nine of you, but I see one gorilla with the nametag ‘1000’. Are you missing one troop?”
508 explained, “Yes we are, the renegade 117 has regrettably-“
“-Come to stop you!” another voice cried out. The group looked up and saw GORE-ILLA hanging from a vine above them.
“YOU!” 508 yelled. “YOU DARE TO RETURN HERE? ATTACK!!”
The gorillas were about to charge forwards when GORE held up a tiny crumb. He explained, “See what Lupus has hidden from you?”
The other gorillas widened their eyes and exclaimed, “CHEESE! CAN IT BE???”
508 stared in astonishment. “Lupus t-told us that all cheese-related products were stolen by Yami Yoshi’s group of dancing savages! I’m… sorry, GORE.”
508 then lunged for the cheesecake crumb, but GORE yanked it out of the way and swallowed it whole. “Apology accepted.”
Scene Five: Yami Yoshi’s Great Escape
Yami Yoshi raised his fist in anger. “I have to escape from this hell hole!” Yami then walked out of the Easily Escapable Cell and continued, “Now to get revenge on Lupus! He will pay for disrespecting a Moderator!” He continued to stride down the dark corridor, decorated with paintings of random celebrities, and finally heard loud banging coming from the front door. “The hell?” he wondered as he unbarred the door.
The large door collapsed instantly. Fusion, GORE-ILLA, SwordMaster, and the entire Gorilla Army barged through the opening holding torches and pitchforks. “What’s going on?” asked Yami.
“We're going to kill Lupus!” said Fusion over the shouting of the crowd.
“Cool! Let's go!”
To Be Continued in Chapter 6: “Raid on Lupus” – The group is split up as they invade Lupus’s EVIL Mountain Lair of Clichéd Doom. Will they survive? Or will they, uh, not? Find out next time! I think.