Jebus
Full Name: Jebus
Birthdate: Long ass fucking time ago in a town called Kickapoo
Species: Demigod
Nationality: All the white nationalities mixed in a blender
Creator: Jebus
First Appearance: The OnGoing Adventures of the GCPA
Background[edit]
Jebus was one of the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada's early members. He claimed to be the brother of God, who is shown to be Carrot Top. He could act as the deus ex machina of the stories but is usually too bored to do so.
The GCPA later sold his soul to Chevy Chase, but he managed to escape by taking Robosexual's body. Jebus then worked only as an ally of the GCPA but since then seems to have rejoined the crew. In the GCPA Finale, he left the crew again seemingly for good after he got sick of Lupine's whining and proceeded to ascend to a higher plane.
He returned in the final chapters, where it was revealed that Jebus was actually summoned to this world by an alternate Lupine's wish, which summoned three beings (Jebus, Wally and Lucifer) to torment Lupine's life and make it a living hell. Jebus's role seemed to be providing false hope, but he truly valued Lupine's friendship and rebelled against this plan, which helped inspired Lupine to kill Wally. In the end, Jebus traveled with the GCPA again and used his powers to restore a "purified" version of Lucifer known as Brocifer.
Abilities[edit]
Jebus's miraculous powers allow him to do nearly anything.
Quotes[edit]
Stampede: Jebus, can't you just use your godly powers to annhilate them?
Jebus: Nah dude. I'm just not feeling it....
-The OnGoing Adventures of the GCPA.
Xenu: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
Jebus: Madness..?
Jebus laughed for a few seconds, a roaring laugh of epic proportions, a laugh of the gods.
Jebus: THIS IS CHRISTIANITY!
-The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel
Patten: I have a full house! Pay up Jebus!
Jebus: Or do you?
*Jebus snaps his fingers, and the cards turn into scorpions.*
Patten: AHHH AHHH SCORPIONS!!!
Pink Ninja: I'm out.
-Jebus using his powers for the betterment of mankind in The Great Race Part 2.
Lupine: I summon the Blue Eyes White Dragon.
Jebus: I summon Wang of Demise!
That Krazy Dude: I think Jebus won that duel.
-Bronze Cobra Conspiracy
Trivia[edit]
- His author was initially unhappy with how Jebus was shown in the OGs, which led him to create two new characters- Samurai Anti-Sony (who was discontinued after one post) and Robosexual.