Gamehiker Member OG 5 Page 2

Pages in the Gamehiker Member OG 5 Archive

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Author: Mario Jr.

Tiffa: Wait... sister?

Marin: How can you be related to her? You're white!

Kiffus: I'm not white! I'm dead. Which you will soon be.

Tiffa: You must be a Neko-Neko. But how is it that you speak English?

Kiffus: [I don't.]

Tiffa: Oh. I still don't know who the hell you are.

Kiffus: [Does this bring back any memories?]

(Kiffus opened up his hand to reveal a golden amulet depicting a Shine Sprite.)

Kiffus: [You gave this to me this very same day 5,000 years ago. The day you promised to me that you'd never leave me...]

Tiffa: 5,000 years ago?

(Masa, Vorpal, Luigi, Zambi & GM show up.)

Vorpal: We're here to save you!

GM: Except me. I don't know why I'm here.

Marin: About time!

Masa: Step aside Marin. Let the men handle this one.

Tiffa: Wait no! Don't hurt him!

Kiffus: *hisses* [The OGers!]

GM: What the hell is that?

Luigi: Copyright infringement.

Author: GM

OoC: For future reference, it's Zambi Yoshi. With a "b". Not Zami. Zambi. As in "zombie". Yes, it may be considered a stupid pun, but it could have been worse. [Edit by Vorpal- has been fixed, sorry about that]

If no one posts after this one by Midnight, I'll edit this post so it moves the story along.

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

Luigi: ~points at Kiffus~ That's right! You are a blatant rip-off of a me from an alternate continuity, Mr. "Nekolfos." I will proceed to sue your author's...

~Kiffus holds his hand up to his eye, then sheds a single tear into it. He throws it onto Luigi's nose.~

Luigi: . . . Oh, I didn't like this part.

~Luigi's nose turns into crystal.~

Vorpal/Masamune: ~gasp~

GM: I bet you could sell that for a fortune.

Kiffus: Meknut hamma solrin. Meknut hamma hut.

~Four meter-long, blade-shaped claws shoot out of Kiffus's wrists and elbows.~

GM: Mm... I think I'll be making a temporary alliance with this guy. I was coming after you guys for revenge anyway.

Zambi: Mehhhhhh...

Vorpal: ~draws his sword and points~ Battle positions!

Masamune: I have a question. Since when did you become our leader, anyway? I mean, I'm the one who's a captain and has a ship.

Vorpal: But I have a cape.

Masamune: No capes. Remember Vorpal the 16th?

Vorpal: Well...

Masamune: His cape got caught in a vortex. They never saw him again.

Vorpal: Sh-shut up! It's on, later!

Masamune: We already did this last OG.

Luigi: Can we go? I can't see anymore.

~The crystal has spread across Luigi's eyes.~

Vorpal/Masamune: ~gasp~

Vorpal: We should retreat.

Masamune: Ah, he can use the Force or something. ~draws his sword~

Luigi: Thanks. ~pulls out laser sword~

Tiffa: I said not to hurt him!

Masamune: But he's already dead. It's not like he'll be able to...

~Kiffus flashes up and slashes Masamune's chest. Masamune staggers a moment, but comes to.~

Masamune: Oh, he'll be feeling it now!

~Vorpal, Masamune, and Luigi jump at Kiffus.~

Vorpal/Masamune/Luigi: HEEE YAAAAH!

Author: GM

(However, they were paying no attention to GM, who ran up to them and tripped them in midair with his sword, still in it's sheath.)

Masamune/Vorpal/Luigi: WHOA!!!

(They landed on the ground with a face plant.)

GM: Ooh! That must hurt! Heh, I've been through worse. I'm sure you guys know.

Vorpal: Who the hell are you anyway!?

GM: Don't play dumb! Zambi!

(Zambi picked up Vorpal with his tongue and swallowed. He then layed a large rotten Yoshi egg with Vorpal inside. A horrid stench filled the air.)

Masamune: My nose! No! MY BRAIN!!!

GM: GAH! Bad move Zambi! Bad move!

Tiffa: What, I don't sme-OH NO I DO!!!

Marin: Sweet merciful crap!

Kiffus: [Oh dear whatever god I worship! I wasn't trained for this!]

Luigi: Luckily, the crystal covering my nose is blocking out the smell.

(Vorpal eventually broke out of the egg, covered in rancid egg goo.)

Vorpal: ...Kill... Me...

Masamune: Vorpal?

Vorpal: KILL ME!!!

Masamune: No!

(Vorpal lept onto Masamune, covering him in egg goo.)

Masamune: Gross! Lame!

GM: Hmm... Perhaps that's enough revenge.

Luigi: You do realize they weren't with the people who beat you up? At the time, they were being mauled by bears.

GM: Is that so? What about you, you... Jedi bum guy?

Luigi: I kicked you a few times, but then I quit because I was still depressed about running myself over.

GM: ...

Luigi: Maybe I'll explain later.

Vorpal: Okay, I'm no longer suicidal. Hey, what happened to that dead guy we were fighting?

Zambi: Urrrrrrgh!

Vorpal: No, the other dead guy.

Masamune: Over there by that guy who appeared ut of nowhere.

(Cobrax had decided to step in, and was facing Kiffus.)

Cobrax: You show signs of wanting to cause harm. State your reasons.

(Instead, Kiffus tries to attack Cobrax the same way he did Masamune, but Cobrax managed to dodge. Cobrax counterattacked with a combo attack involving two punches and a tail swipe. Despite how fast they were Kiffus managed to dodge all three attacks.)

Cobrax: Stand down. I will retaliate otherwise.

Kiffus: [Fool! This does not concern you!]

Cobrax: Your language is not in my databank. Please surrender in either English, Espanol, or Huttese. Waving a white object or a simple gesture will also do.

(Kiffus was highly skilled and a type of warrior that legends and MJ say could kill millions single-handedly. However, being milleniums old, it had no concept of a gun. So when it charged Cobrax a second time, it didn't flinch when he pulled out an assault rifle he swiped from GM when he wasn't looking. He fired about fifteen bullets into Kiffus, who staggered back and fell from the force of the impact. GM recognized the gun and searched himself.)

GM: Hey, that's my gun! That's Omnipotence!

Vorpal: You named your gun?

GM: People name their swords, so why not?

(Kiffus tried to sit up, but Cobrax kicked him in the head, knocking him back further.)

GM: ...So, is it too late to team up with you guys again? It'd be a pretty bad disadvantage to go against the new guy.

Vorpal: After what I went through, yes it's too late!

Masamune: ...Are you sorry?

GM: Yeah, sure.

Masamune: Then okay.

Vorpal: Hey, I have the cape, so I'm the leader, and I said-

Masamune: Well, don't we need all the help we can get to fight GORE and the others?

GM: Were they the guys who beat me up?

Masamune: Probably.

GM: Then hell yeah, I'm in!

Vorpal: ...Fine, but you'll have to go through a long an extremely embarrassing initiation ritual!

Zambi: Muuur?

Vorpal: You too!

(Back with Cobrax and Kiffus, Cobrax raised his arm straigh into the air and extended his index finger. At the end of it, a ball of energy began to form. It grew and grew until Cobrax had a sphere of glowing yellow energy that was twice his size above his head.)

Cobrax: Surrender now! This is your final warning!

Masamune: Five bucks says the dead guy jumps up and does something cool.

Luigi: Mmmph!

(The crystal now covered Luigi's entire head.)

GM: Can he breathe through that?

(Then Luigi collapsed.)

Masamune: This is bad.

Author: Masamune

Pages in the Gamehiker Member OG 5 Archive

1 - 2 - 3 - 4