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Author: Mario Jr.

Tiffa: Wait... sister?

Marin: How can you be related to her? You're white!

Kiffus: I'm not white! I'm dead. Which you will soon be.

Tiffa: You must be a Neko-Neko. But how is it that you speak English?

Kiffus: [I don't.]

Tiffa: Oh. I still don't know who the hell you are.

Kiffus: [Does this bring back any memories?]

(Kiffus opened up his hand to reveal a golden amulet depicting a Shine Sprite.)

Kiffus: [You gave this to me this very same day 5,000 years ago. The day you promised to me that you'd never leave me...]

Tiffa: 5,000 years ago?

(Masa, Vorpal, Luigi, Zambi & GM show up.)

Vorpal: We're here to save you!

GM: Except me. I don't know why I'm here.

Marin: About time!

Masa: Step aside Marin. Let the men handle this one.

Tiffa: Wait no! Don't hurt him!

Kiffus: *hisses* [The OGers!]

GM: What the hell is that?

Luigi: Copyright infringement.

Author: GM

OoC: For future reference, it's Zambi Yoshi. With a "b". Not Zami. Zambi. As in "zombie". Yes, it may be considered a stupid pun, but it could have been worse. [Edit by Vorpal- has been fixed, sorry about that]

If no one posts after this one by Midnight, I'll edit this post so it moves the story along.

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

Luigi: ~points at Kiffus~ That's right! You are a blatant rip-off of a me from an alternate continuity, Mr. "Nekolfos." I will proceed to sue your author's...

~Kiffus holds his hand up to his eye, then sheds a single tear into it. He throws it onto Luigi's nose.~

Luigi: . . . Oh, I didn't like this part.

~Luigi's nose turns into crystal.~

Vorpal/Masamune: ~gasp~

GM: I bet you could sell that for a fortune.

Kiffus: Meknut hamma solrin. Meknut hamma hut.

~Four meter-long, blade-shaped claws shoot out of Kiffus's wrists and elbows.~

GM: Mm... I think I'll be making a temporary alliance with this guy. I was coming after you guys for revenge anyway.

Zambi: Mehhhhhh...

Vorpal: ~draws his sword and points~ Battle positions!

Masamune: I have a question. Since when did you become our leader, anyway? I mean, I'm the one who's a captain and has a ship.

Vorpal: But I have a cape.

Masamune: No capes. Remember Vorpal the 16th?

Vorpal: Well...

Masamune: His cape got caught in a vortex. They never saw him again.

Vorpal: Sh-shut up! It's on, later!

Masamune: We already did this last OG.

Luigi: Can we go? I can't see anymore.

~The crystal has spread across Luigi's eyes.~

Vorpal/Masamune: ~gasp~

Vorpal: We should retreat.

Masamune: Ah, he can use the Force or something. ~draws his sword~

Luigi: Thanks. ~pulls out laser sword~

Tiffa: I said not to hurt him!

Masamune: But he's already dead. It's not like he'll be able to...

~Kiffus flashes up and slashes Masamune's chest. Masamune staggers a moment, but comes to.~

Masamune: Oh, he'll be feeling it now!

~Vorpal, Masamune, and Luigi jump at Kiffus.~

Vorpal/Masamune/Luigi: HEEE YAAAAH!

Author: GM

(However, they were paying no attention to GM, who ran up to them and tripped them in midair with his sword, still in it's sheath.)

Masamune/Vorpal/Luigi: WHOA!!!

(They landed on the ground with a face plant.)

GM: Ooh! That must hurt! Heh, I've been through worse. I'm sure you guys know.

Vorpal: Who the hell are you anyway!?

GM: Don't play dumb! Zambi!

(Zambi picked up Vorpal with his tongue and swallowed. He then layed a large rotten Yoshi egg with Vorpal inside. A horrid stench filled the air.)

Masamune: My nose! No! MY BRAIN!!!

GM: GAH! Bad move Zambi! Bad move!

Tiffa: What, I don't sme-OH NO I DO!!!

Marin: Sweet merciful crap!

Kiffus: [Oh dear whatever god I worship! I wasn't trained for this!]

Luigi: Luckily, the crystal covering my nose is blocking out the smell.

(Vorpal eventually broke out of the egg, covered in rancid egg goo.)

Vorpal: ...Kill... Me...

Masamune: Vorpal?

Vorpal: KILL ME!!!

Masamune: No!

(Vorpal lept onto Masamune, covering him in egg goo.)

Masamune: Gross! Lame!

GM: Hmm... Perhaps that's enough revenge.

Luigi: You do realize they weren't with the people who beat you up? At the time, they were being mauled by bears.

GM: Is that so? What about you, you... Jedi bum guy?

Luigi: I kicked you a few times, but then I quit because I was still depressed about running myself over.

GM: ...

Luigi: Maybe I'll explain later.

Vorpal: Okay, I'm no longer suicidal. Hey, what happened to that dead guy we were fighting?

Zambi: Urrrrrrgh!

Vorpal: No, the other dead guy.

Masamune: Over there by that guy who appeared ut of nowhere.

(Cobrax had decided to step in, and was facing Kiffus.)

Cobrax: You show signs of wanting to cause harm. State your reasons.

(Instead, Kiffus tries to attack Cobrax the same way he did Masamune, but Cobrax managed to dodge. Cobrax counterattacked with a combo attack involving two punches and a tail swipe. Despite how fast they were Kiffus managed to dodge all three attacks.)

Cobrax: Stand down. I will retaliate otherwise.

Kiffus: [Fool! This does not concern you!]

Cobrax: Your language is not in my databank. Please surrender in either English, Espanol, or Huttese. Waving a white object or a simple gesture will also do.

(Kiffus was highly skilled and a type of warrior that legends and MJ say could kill millions single-handedly. However, being milleniums old, it had no concept of a gun. So when it charged Cobrax a second time, it didn't flinch when he pulled out an assault rifle he swiped from GM when he wasn't looking. He fired about fifteen bullets into Kiffus, who staggered back and fell from the force of the impact. GM recognized the gun and searched himself.)

GM: Hey, that's my gun! That's Omnipotence!

Vorpal: You named your gun?

GM: People name their swords, so why not?

(Kiffus tried to sit up, but Cobrax kicked him in the head, knocking him back further.)

GM: ...So, is it too late to team up with you guys again? It'd be a pretty bad disadvantage to go against the new guy.

Vorpal: After what I went through, yes it's too late!

Masamune: ...Are you sorry?

GM: Yeah, sure.

Masamune: Then okay.

Vorpal: Hey, I have the cape, so I'm the leader, and I said-

Masamune: Well, don't we need all the help we can get to fight GORE and the others?

GM: Were they the guys who beat me up?

Masamune: Probably.

GM: Then hell yeah, I'm in!

Vorpal: ...Fine, but you'll have to go through a long an extremely embarrassing initiation ritual!

Zambi: Muuur?

Vorpal: You too!

(Back with Cobrax and Kiffus, Cobrax raised his arm straigh into the air and extended his index finger. At the end of it, a ball of energy began to form. It grew and grew until Cobrax had a sphere of glowing yellow energy that was twice his size above his head.)

Cobrax: Surrender now! This is your final warning!

Masamune: Five bucks says the dead guy jumps up and does something cool.

Luigi: Mmmph!

(The crystal now covered Luigi's entire head.)

GM: Can he breathe through that?

(Then Luigi collapsed.)

Masamune: This is bad.

Author: Mario Jr.

(Kiffus growls and pounces on Cobrax.)

Cobrax: Bad move.

(Cobrax releases the energy blast, knocking the Nekolfos into the ground, leaving a massive crater. Cobrax then delivers a series of smaller energy discs into the crater just to be thorough.)

Vorpal: Wow... is he dead?

Cobrax: I doubt it.

Marin: Hey! Aren't some robot or something? Can't you tell if he's alive or not?

Cobrax: The assailant is already deceased. I sensed no life signs from him the whole time.

Marin: *hits herself on the head* Duh, Mare!

(Sure enough, once the smoke had cleared, Kiffus was standing up again, now more pissed off than ever.)

Kiffa: Kunjulla Tal’Ru Shin-Ra!

(Suddenly, the skies overhead turned into a fiery shade of red and the sun went black. The blades on his wrist grew longer as well as the ones on his elbows and knees. Razor sharp spines also emerges from his back and on his tail formed an Axe. The transformed warrior took one swipe at Cobrax and sliced off his arm. He then continued slashing at the android, dicing him up like fresh salad. Too, his dismay though, the badly disfigured android continued to stand on one leg and one arm, not looking the slightest bit phased.)

Kiffus: [Wha... what matter of being are?]

Cobrax: Okay, I gave adequate enough warnings. Now I must eliminate you.

Kiffus: [With one leg and one arm? I'd like to see you try!]

GM: Okay, this is getting old. I can't understand a single thing he’s saying.

(GM looks around and notices Tiffa, practically drooling at the sight of Cobrax.)

GM: *points at Tiffa* Hey you! With the cat ears! You look you're the same race as that razor guy over there. Can you translate what he's saying?

Tiffa: That hooded guy... He‘s so dreamy...

Marin: Don’t even bother. She’s too far gone to hear you.

Cobrax: That girl…

(Kiffus begins spinning around in a whirlwind of spinning blades likes some crazy top. He flies in Cobrax’s direction, cutting up what was left of him. But the android refused to give up. Reduced to nothing but half a torso with a head and one arm, he crawls over to Tiffa’s direction.)

Kiffus: [Why don’t you give up? There’s no way you can beat a Nekolfos!? I’m designed to adapt to new threats like yourself.]

(Cobrax ignores Kiffus’ taunting and continued towards Tiffa.)

Cobrax: Excuse me, Miss but can I borrow that necklace of yours?

Tiffa: You mean this. *holds up the Shine amulet*

Cobrax: Affirmative.

(Puzzled, she bends down and hands Cobrax the amulet that Kiffus had given her earlier. Just as he had expected, Kiffus’ face fills with dread.)

Cobrax: Ah, so my calculations were correct. This item is important to you after all. It must be the secret to your strength.

Kiffus: [Fool! You don’t know what you’re doing!]

Cobrax: Sorry. I still don’t understand your language.

(That said, Cobrax crushes the amulet and Kiffus lets out a final roar as he turns into a pile of dust and blows away in tto the wind. Instantly, the skies returned to normal. That’s when Tiffa pounces on what was left of Cobrax.)

Tiffa: Our hero! You were so brave Mr. Snake guy!

Marin: Okay that’s enough, Tiffs!

(Marin grabs Tiffa by the arm and pulls her off of the poor android.)

Marin: *laughs nervously* Sorry about that. Tiffa can get carried away sometimes.

Tiffa: Call me a’’ight!

(Tiffa then gets hauled offscreen by Marin and the two disappear from the scene.)

Cobrax: o.O

~ELEWHERE~

Shadowy Figure: Hmm. It seems the Nekolfos weren’t as strong a warriors as the legends claimed. Perhaps the ape will be more successful.

Author: Masamune

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