Epic Dino Slayer OG: Do America or Die Hard

Started On: Sun Jul 29, 2007 7:43 pm

End: Tue Sep 11, 2007 5:00 pm
Writers: Director, Retro Belmont, Golem, Nintendofreak65, Fred_Of_The_Bed
Archive: Read it here.

The Jist of it

Epic Dino Slayer OG: Do America or Die Hard is a story following the events of ALIEN, which is already following the events of IT. Mariorocks is dead, and the Space cruiser Diablo has exploded, leaving Ex-Harborer Retro Belmont and Ex-Shipmate Director to a life of fry cookery in the Americas. After getting thoroughly bored of the simple life, Director suggests that they "Do America" like in that one movie, and thus their adventure begins.

Meanwhile, across the country Murphy's body is discovered and transformed into a maniacal rampaging killer robot, and decides that he must destroy all things "Non-Yerp". Elsewhere, a young girl names Fera Praag gets a feeling that the world is in need of Yerpamancers again, and sets off on her own journey, destined to meet up with the heroes. Inter dimensional evil appears before the party and it is soon discovered that the Epic Dino Guild wants what no man can have, Pixels.

And a familiar face is soon re-discovered, and then the journey can begin again.

Characters

Main Characters AKA The Epic Dino Slayers

==Retro Belmont==

Age: 27
Gender: Male
Species: Human
Nationality: American? I guess.
Specialty: Retro uses the pixels for special techniques and other wonders. He's not really sure why he's even on this quest half the time, but he's too caught up in the moment to give a crap. Owns his own sword but barely uses it ever, especially when they really need to fight.

Also: See Retro with his Pixel Suit upgrade.

==Director==

Age: 28
Gender: Male
Species: Eggplant
Nationality: American
Specialty: Director was ready to Do America from the get-go, although he doesn't have many reasons for doing so. One of his drivers is a message he keeps getting about old enemies and friends coming back. Being the target of many an enemy, Director always narrowly avoids danger by doing the things no one else would dare do.

==Fera Praag==

Age: 28
Gender: Female
Species: Human/ Yerpan
Nationality: American.
Specialty: The only female of the group, but don't look now she has other characteristics as well! With skills in Yerpamancing (Still in training, but anyway) she is on a journey to destroy the evil that's been rampaging in the land (Murphtroid Prime). Director's got some thing for her, but it probably won't go anywhere.

==Mariorocks/Nintendofreak==

Age:29
Gender: Male
Species: Human, Ghost
Nationality:
Specialty: Started the OG dead, but he got over that little obstacle by using the power of the pixels (Whether or not he did that himself still has to be determined) to come back to life. Now he joins the party and fights in the battle against evil. As far as powers go, he's still working on it.

==Fred==
Age: Forever 34
Gender: Male
Species: Human?
Nationality: ???
Specialty: No one knows who he is or what his intentions are, and he probably doesn't even know himself. To add to this, there are two of em'!

Wait a second, he's a Dino Slayer?!

Villains

==IT==
Age: 666
Gender: ???
Bio: The monster that lives at Moondo lake with his gigantic family. He started it all. After being chased down by Director and Mariorocks he starred in several wacky comedy's involving Ray Romano, after which, IT went back to live in his cave. IT was soon visited by an assassin, who he killed and stole his equipment. He runs in to his brother THAT AND THEY TRY TO TRACK DOWN DIRECTOR AND MARIOROCKS. ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER AND HE DIES, BUT HE INST REALLY DEAD, HE LEAVES AND SWEARS REVENGE, WHICH HE WILL GET IN THE NEXT OG. BUT DON'T BRING HIM BACK IN THIS ONE, WE HAVE WAY TOO MANY VILLAINS AT THE MOMENT. Caps lock is cruise control for cool.

==Alien==
Age: Clone
Bio: The Alien...... the original Alien laid an egg that became this one. Kenway ate this egg. When Syawnek revived Kenway he also revived the Alien egg, which burst open revealing the new Alien. It vaguely remembers his fathers pursuits, and kills the leaders of the Shipping company Director and Retro were part of. He is currently killing plot points. That is, he was until he was considered not cool enough to be part of the final battle.

==Murphtroid Prime==
Age: Unknown
Gender: Male
Bio: Murphy was horribly mangled by the Alien in the last story several times, but actually died of...natural causes!? Anyway, he arrived on Earth via a meteor that he most likely ran into while drifting through space (Samus or one of the other two heroes probably dumped him after a while). Encasing an alien egg in his stomach, Murphy was discovered by Dr. Rodrick Kenway, and then brought back to life with the assistance of many robot parts and nuclear weaponry. After killing Kenway and destroying his lab, the newly assembled "Murphtroid Prime" went rampaging through the nation, on a quest to destroy all things Non-Yerp. While on his quest he can absorb the combat data of everything he encounters, making him stronger every day. Murphy is killed by the Epic Dino shortly after forming the league of Murphy's by combining all know Yerp energy. He attempts to reboot himself but the Epic Dino rips him out of his cyborg suit and eats him. Before dying he activates the yerpocalyptic bomb, which will destroy all things non yerp in a matter of days. Maybe sooner.

==Dr. Rodrick Kenway==
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Bio: An assistant serving under Dr. Ivo Robotnik, Kenway was journeying through Wisconsin in his portable lab when he spots a meteor crash landing nearby. Feeling curious, he approaches it to discover the frozen remains of Murphy wedged in one of the meteors craters. After giving him a new robot body, he dubs his latest creation Murphtroid Prime, but he didn't get to enjoy it however, as he was soon killed by his very creation. Later, Kenway is revived by his brother Syawnek (He doesn't even deserves a profile by the way).

Epic Dino Guild

==Orter Montbel==
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Species: Namuh
Nationality: None
Bio: A Pirate man from the second dimension, he commands a space shuttle with tank wheels and glides the highways after escaping from his usual dimension to live in ours. He is the opposite of Retro, as the name suggests, and he swears vengeance on them for something of minor importance that happened in the beginning of the story. Which side he is really on is still in the air at this point.

==Rotcerid==
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Species: Namuh
Bio: Originally part of the rag-tag Anti Slayers in the Epic Dino Dimension, Rotcerid is a Pumpkin man (Supposedly the opposite of Eggplants) who switched to being Neutral near the end of the OG, and doesn't help much besides when he needs to. Which is almost never. Throws Pumpkin bombs to make his character more interesting.

==Kaerf "Kane" Odnetnin==
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Namuh: Namuh
Bio: Opposite of Nintendofreak/Mariorocks, but switched his name to Kane because he hated being Kaerf. Actually helps out in the end of the OG, after being such a pain in the ass beforehand.

==Aref==
Age: 28
Gender: Female? Yikes, she doesn't look like it.
Species: Namuh
Bio: Opposite of Fera, and that's pretty much all she's there for.

==Epic Dino Guild Murphy's==
Bio: Formerly the league of Murphy's, now work for the Epic Dino. They were pretty much forgotten by the end of the OG.

==Toppo==
Age: Unknown
Gender: Male I guess.
Species: Namuh
Bio: Assassin from the Epic Dino Guild, was sent early on to assassinate Retro and Director for wanting to steal the pixels. One of Toppos assassin friends was killed by IT, who was also after Orter, but why is that? WHY I ASK YOU?!

==Belshazzar==
Age: ???
Gender: ???
Species: ???
Bio: High commander and general of everything in the Epic Dino Guild, who is trying to swallow the other dimension for unknown reasons...he has a lot of question marks right now, does that make him more evil?

==The Epic Dino==
Age:???
Gender:???
Species: Dinosaur
Bio: The token Dinosaur of the Epic Dino Guild. He's not really integral to the story but sure can be a painfully persistent plot device when he wants to be.

What Are Pixels?

We don't know, and neither should you. That's just the way it has to be.

The Plot

It is 2018, or so you should believe. Director and Retro Belmont are both working as Fry cooks in the Midwestern Americas. It might have been the yearning for freedom or just the dread of preparing another daily special, but they soon found themselves "Doing America" like in that one movie. Meanwhile, across the country, their old pal from Alien, Murphy the Janitor, was discovered in a meteorite that had crash landed in Wisconsin. Dr. Kenway revived him with science and all of that jazz, but turning him into a robotic destroyer, Murphtroid Prime. His purpose was now to destroy all things Non-Yerp, and so he set off to terrorize America. Back on the other side of the country, IT returns and it already hunting down Director, after taking nearly a 20 year long lapse in his mission. Meanwhile yet again, Director and Retro make their first stop at some random Fun Park, where Retro wins a Carny sword and intentionally cashes in their motorcycle to get some more money. To make up for this he helps Director steal a Pirate Ship with wheels attached to it. After sailing the roads for a while Retro suggested that their next stop should be for acquiring Pixels, the greatest treasure in the universe. Soon after they encounter a Spaceship that also happens to be sailing the highways with them, this one belonging to Orter Montbel, a pirate of the roads, who gets pissed off at the fact that they want to pass him in a no passing zone. Orter attacks Retro and Director, but is interrupted soon after by the ever chuckling assassin Toppo. After an extensive battle with Toppo and then a shorter one with Orter, Retro sets course for the MS Paintatorium, where the Pixels are kept.

Quotes

Fera: Stop this Retro! I'm physically attracted to you!

Retro: Yeah, I'm pretty good looking.