Gamehiker Member OG Holiday Special: Merry Christmas Straw Man!
Start: July 25, 2005
End: May 18, 2007
Timeline: Good Timeline
Writers: SteveT, Luigi of the Pipes, Masamune, Golem, GORE-ILLA
Main Cast: Masamune, Ashley, Straw Man, Narrator, Cobalt Blue, Mr. Venn/Golem, Luiigii of the Pipes/Luigius, Vorpal, GRIN-CHEE, Straw Man Jr., SteveT, Dodo, Lynel, Yrrem Yoshi.
Archive: Read the Story
Overview[edit]
A spin-off of the Gamehiker Member OG series that was concocted by SteveT. This OG featured Straw Man as a central villain and acted as a freaky alternate reality story, like several awesome episodes of Batman: The Animated Series and the DC Animated Universe. The premise was actually based off of the then recent "House of M" (short for "House of My Fist in Luiigii's Face")arc in the Marvel comics to the point where the original draft was a complete parody of its first issue. Predictibly, it wound up being awesome as well. It had a darker and more serious tone compared to the lighthearted comical feel of the other GMOGs. The story is strange in that it went through several cycles of high activity followed by no posts for months. It was ended nearly two years after it was started.
Plot Summary[edit]
Straw Man is under the delusion that it is Christmas in the middle of July. For whatever reason he receives a package from the gods, containing the Cheesecake of the Gods. After eating it completely, his twisted mind alters reality completely.
In this new reality,
- All humans have acquired feathers and beaks, becoming "cromen". America is still ruled by Britain (which is ruled by Straw Man), and every day is Christmas.
- SteveT was given a heart, making him into the overly-friendly TeevC so that he could not interfere with Straw Man's plans. Straw Man also created his own son, Straw Man Jr..
- Luiigii of the Pipes has become an emperor, Luigus Caesar, with Rebe at his side.
- Golem is Gregory Venn, a plumber; and Sapphire is a hobo. They are still married with Cobalt as their son.
- Luiigii and Rebe's daughter, Ashley, has become rebellious and run away from home with Cobalt (marrying him), becoming a pirate.
- Vorpal is married to "Mistia Eiren". Having not killed his girlfriend, he has become arrogant and self-absorbed (but still bumbling). Dodo, now a human, is his sidekick.
- Straw Man has appointed a "Santa CLAWS" to collect presents from the populace for Straw Man. Lynel was the original Santa CLAWS until he was banished to Hell. The second Santa CLAWS was GRIN-CHEE (the new version of GORE-ILLA, until he rebelled and became part of the Christmas Resistance Movement. The third and final CLAWS has been Yrrrem Yoshi, the counterpart of Yami Yoshi.
- Kantii has become a vigilante working for the Human Superiority Movement despite being a croman now.
- Ditto became Italian.
Masamune wakes up in this bizarre world, and find that he is the only one who is unaltered and still remembers his original past. Masamune soon meets up with an ally in the form of Robert Stack, who still retains some of his Narrator powers. The two team up to find a way to stop Straw Man. The situation is made more urgent when Masamune realizes he no longer is immortal or attached to a cursed sword in this world, so he slowly starts aging in a process that would eventually lead to his death when his body reached its "real" age.
After wandering around, Masamune wound up chased through the streets by Vorpal and Dodo. He soon met with Mr. Venn and afterwards they were all brought into a ship by Ashley and Cobalt. Masamune was shocked by this twist, due to his close relationship with Ashley in the original timeline. Elsewhere, Luigus was assigned by the Straw Man to hunt down and destroy GRIN-CHEE. However, Luigus failed to destroy GRIN and sacrificed himself in a vain attempt to destroy the mechanical ape.
In the meantime, Masamune sought a way to prolong his life or regain his immortality. He then sought out EVIL Scientist Dude, who directed him to the North Pole fortress and joined their group. In that fortress, Masamune found Merlin. Merlin was able to enter Robert Stack's body and slowly recharge his power. Masamune was able to defeat Vorpal in a sword duel, even as an old man, and Stack was then able to restore Masamune to his normal self before entering a stasis while he regained his narration powers. GRIN-CHEE also joined up with the group. After discovering her father's fate, Ashley was overcome by grief and ran away into the workshop of Santa CLAWS. Cobalt and GRIN-CHEE followed her.
In the meantime Masamune, Vorpal and Dodo travelled into Hell to find Lynel, the original Santa CLAWS, so he could tell them how to find Straw Man's fortress. In the ensuing battle with Lynel, Vorpal decided to be a hero like the real Vorpal, and Dodo was killed. Masamune convinced Vorpal to spare Lynel so that they could use him to find Straw Man and undo the whole mess. GRIN was killed soon afterwards, in battle with Yrrrem Yoshi's deadly harpies. Yrrrem reluctantly joined up with the group when they needed his reindeer, and they set off towards Straw Man's fortress after receiving a power up from Ditto.
One by one, each of the group fell until only Masamune, Ashley, Robert Stack, Cobalt and Venn were left for the final battle with Straw Man. Stack attacked Straw Man mentally and used his narration powers to slowly unravel Straw Man's madness while the others attacked Straw Man physically to distract him. Cobalt and Venn were soon killed as well. But while Straw Man became preoccupied with torturing Masamune and Ashley, Robert Stack reverted TeevC to SteveT, who finished the job of forcing Straw Man to vomit out the cheesecake. It landed in Ashley's mouth and sent her into a Wizard of Oz parody.
She had her final choice between reality and Straw Man's fantasy world, between Masamune and Cobalt. Ultimately she used the cheesecake's power to restore reality. And everyone celebrated as if it were Christmas. As for Straw Man, he wound up at his own haven- a planet of Straw Men, Flaxius.
References/Homages to Other OGs[edit]
- The ongoing "taco night" joke, which first appeared in Straw Man's introduction in The OGers: Third Generation, is continued here.
- In Straw Man's reconstructed world, Golem becomes known as Mr. Venn. This identity is taken from Party Goers 6: Back to Reality!, which also featured a dream world (although that one didn't turn out that well).
- Kantii from the Member OG series makes a guest appearance in the dream world.
- In the dream world, Luiigii of the Pipes becomes Lugius Caesar- a reference to the Lugius Caesar of The Ennead.
- Mistia Eiren is an amalgamation of two of Vorpal's love interests- Misty and Kuria Eiren.
- This OG shows the creation of Flaxius, foreshadowing Galaxy Goers.
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