GCPA Sequel Chapter 6

Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Chapter 6: The Faculty of Doom

Author: That Krazy Dude

Morgan Freeman: The crew decides to start the search for Saget's apprentice in a place that would probably seem unlikely for an apprentice to be found....the hood. The crew wanders around the hood searching for any sign of an evil apprentice.

Mini Myself: Wow this place looks pretty dangerous.

Siren: If you think this is creepy, try being a hot white girl and walk around the hood.

Mini Myself: I think somebody already beat me to that.

*Que Pasa walks past Siren and Mini Myself wearing a dress and make up*

Siren: .....Oh God

Scruffy: Okay guys, thsi is a really big place and we're all likely to get shot here, so I'm going to have to do the only logical thing. Instead of sticking together, allowing all of us to watch each other's backs, I'm going to split us up into separate groups. Siren, Mini Myself, and Salama will keep a lookout for suspicious figures on the streets. ADD, Stampede, Lupine, Pink Ninja, Que Pasa, Krazy Dude, Shiny Stallone, and myself will investigate the nearby projects. ADD, Stampede, Krazy Dude, and Shiny will search the first through third floors of the building and the rest shall follow me and investigate the fourth through sixth floors of the building. As for the rest of you, go back to the ship and cry for not being mentioned in this story.

Morgan Freeman: The crew splits up and follows their orders. Stampede, Siren and Mini Myself keep a lookout on the streets

Mini Myself: I'll shrink down and stay under cars for cover.

*Salama dives into a dumpster*

Salama: Oh what the hell! It smells in here....oh hey look a half eaten slice of pizza!

Siren: Salama shut up! It's hard enough to keep attention away from us without you yelling about food. Man, why did Scruffy have to choose me to watch over the hood. Me, a white girl, of all people, to survey the hood.

Morgan Freeman: Meanwhile Krazy Dude, Shiny Stallone, ADD, and Stampede wander around the floors of the projects.

Stampede: Okay, this is the last room to check. Shiny, kick down the door and I'll cover you.

*Shiny kicks down the door and Stampede stands int he doorway ready with his gun*

Morgan Freeman: Little did those pirates know that they were actually bursting into the local gang's headquarters.

*The gang and crew just stare at each other in confusion for a minute. Then the gang members all go for their guns and take dive for cover*

Stampede: Look out!!! *kicks over a table and gets behind it. The rest of the crew joins Stampede by the table*

Stampede: Alright. Shiny, you and me will shoot at the guys from behind here. Krazy and ADD, since you two aren't cool enough for guns, you have to go up close, completely risking your lives and fight in close-quarters.

ADD: Is it because I'm Asian?

Stampede: No it's not.

Krazy Dude: Is it because I'm Asian?

Shiny: ...You're not Asian.

Krazy: Damn.

*Stampede and Shiny start firing wildly with automatic machine guns while Krazy and ADD attempt to sneak up to the enemies. Several of the gang members get shot down leaving only three still alive by the time Stampede and Shiny run out of ammo*

Random gang dude: Ha! Whatchu gunna do now that you ran outta bullets fool?

*Krazy Dude and ADD rush the gang members. Krazy takes down one with his mop while ADD beats down another with a club he took out of his turban. They turn to the last guy who had just been laughing at Stampede and Shiny for having no ammo*

ADD: Hey look it's Vice President Dick Cheney!

Gang dude: Where!? *turns around*

*Krazy Dude jams his bucket over the guy's head*

Krazy: You thought you were so cool because of your inflatable pants, but only now do you see that Mount Rushmore will never give in to the polka dot people of your mom's bedroom!

Gang dude: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?!?!? *head explodes inside the bucket*

Krazy: Simple.

Morgan Freeman: While the Krazy, Shiny, Stampede, and ADD celebrate their victory, Pink Ninja, Scruffy, Que Pasa, and Lupine reach the sixth and final floor of the projects building.

Scruffy: Be careful guys, looks like this floor is being patrolled by gang members.

Que Pasa: You mean like this one?

*A guy stands behind Que Pasa holding a pistol to his head*

Pink Ninja: Lemme take this guy.

*Pink Ninja turns invisible and sneaks behind the guy with the gun. He pulls a partially eaten apple out of a garbage can, snatches the gun out of the guy's hand, shoves the apple down the guys throat and beats him over the head repeatedly with the pistol*

Lupine: .....Wow.

*Two more gang members run up*

Some other tandom gang member dude: What was that!?

*Lupine kicks the first guy in the face while scruffy scorches the other guy's hands off and shoves him into Que Pasa's nose. Que Pasa then fires the guy out the window and into Salama's dumpster*

Salama: Man I picked the wrong dumpster to hide in...I wonder if there's anymore half-eaten pizza.

*Back at the projects building*

Scruffy: Close one guys. Be careful next time. We have to make sure not to make too much noise.

Que Pasa: What?

Scruffy: I SAID WE SHOULD TRY TO AVOID MAKING NOISE!!!

???: What the hell's going on out there?

*Footsteps are heard*

Scruffy: Dammit!

???: Who the hell are you people and what do you want? I'm pissed right now so if it's not important you'd better back off and leave.

Scruffy: We, as in Que Pasa, Pink Ninja, Lupine, and me, Captain Monkeyman Scruffy, aren't telling you our names until you tell us who you are.......oh God dammit!!!!

Lupine: Smooth move Cap'n.

Scruffy: You're adopted and nobody loves you.

Lupine: So that's why nobody comments me on Myspace! Well forget you then! I'm special!! *runs off and out of the building*

Pink Ninja: What just happened?

Que Pasa: Your mom.

Pink Ninja: Huh?

Que Pasa: Exactly.

???: Uh yeah...guys? Over here. I am Karl. I am an angry black man who is trying to get out of the hood. So unless you have some way to make me less angry or a way to get me out of the hood, get the hell outta here.

Scruffy: We're looking for an apprentice of an evil man. Do you have any information on such a man?

Karl: Wait...who is this evil man you speak of?

Scruffy: Bob Saget.

Karl: ...I knew this day would arrive. Bob Saget is the very man who made me the way I am today. I heard his jokes on America's funniest Home Videos and they were just so bad that i became angry....angry at the world and everything in it!

Scruffy: Do you have any idea of his apprentice's whereabouts?

Karl: No but I would like to join you anyway. Though I must warn you, no matter where I go...the hood will follow me. You may think I'm joking but it's the truth. I was once at the beach and there was a swim-by shooting. Killed a massive amount of people. Then they made sand castles. Was horrible.

Scruffy: That's horrible but we'll have to take our chances for no possible reason.

Karl: Fine then. Don't say I didn't warn you.

*Scruffy, Karl, Pink Ninja, and Que Pasa walk out of the projects building to meet up with Krazy Dude, Shiny, Stampede, ADD, Salama, Siren, and Mini Myself*

Scruffy: You guys find anything?

Stampede: There was nothing in the projects.

Siren: No info on the streets.

Scruffy: Damn. Well our search may have failed but at least we've got a new crew mate. Everyone, this is Karl, the angry black man trying to get out of the hood. Everywhere he goes, the hood will follow. So be careful. Well...let's head back to the ship.

Author: No Name

I know no one posts and this may mess up things but oh well.

No Name: Thanks for saving me from the dark side, Que Pasa.

Que Pasa: I'm sorry, were you talking?

No Name: Arg...Que Pasa I'm not the Jedi i'm supposed to be...I want more...I know it's wrong

Stampede: It's okay!

No Name: I've had a dream...

Stampede: About what?

No Name: Nothing.

Stampede: No Name, when are we going to be sincere to each other?

No Name: You were dying...I won't allow it!

Edwin: *comes close to No Name*

Edwin: Anny I want to have my babies on Naboo, I have a crib set up for them and everything.

No Name: What has happned to the pirate order? It seems the search for this apprenctice has corrupted them.

*Que Pasa walks in and steals bacon form the fridge*

Stampede: Just ask Knight to raise your grade, you worked so hard for it.

No Name: Do not ask me to do that! *points at Stampede threateningly*

*No Name walks off to the ship*

Nemo: He's under alot of stress, Mini.

Mini: Beep buup boop beep!

No Name: WHAT THE HELL! *cuts off Nemos head*

Nemo: I think I got the handle of this flying business.

*At the Knight Cave*

Knight: No Name, I elect you to be my representative on the Pirate Council.

No Name: Really? But they won't allow such a thing.

Knight: They need you more than you think!

*At the Pirate Council*

No Name: Ms. Knight asked if I can become the captain of the crew.

Scurffy: You are too young, No name, we will not allow it.

Que Pasa: Involvement with the council, Knight does not have. Hell up you must shut.

Scruffy: We allow you to be on the council but not a master.

No Name: What outrage is this! How can I be on the council and not be a master?!

*After the council meeting*

Edwin: No Name, the council asks that you give in this paper to be graded by Knight...once we get the results we can determine whether she is a sith lord or not.

No Name: What?! How can the Jedi allow such a thing to happen?! You are tellng me to go againt the pirate code!

Edwin: Actually..there is no code, we rape, steal, and get drunk...

No Name: True that!

*At some opera*

No Name comes running to some balcony with Knight in it.

No Name: You asked for me?

Knight: Yes..I did...

Knight: Did you know that there was a sith lord so powerful that he was able to manipulate the midi-chorians in ink that he could have perfect grades all the time? He told his apprentice and that very KNIGHT..*chuckles and dies alittle inside*...she killed him...ironic isn't it?

No Name: No not really.

Knight: You're right!

*Back at the Knight cave*

Knight: I must give you your Chillingworth paper back.

*Gives paper back*

No Name: An incomplete. You are the sith lord! *draws laser sword*

Knight: That's right! Strike me down, but only I can keep your GPA up!

No Name: No I won't. I'll report you to Master Lupine.

*Lupine than arrives to the Knight Cave with No Name*

Lupine: You're under arrest!

*begins big fighting scene with thrusts and swipes and lunges of lightsabers. Eventually Lupine knocks back Knight to the window ledge with a kick to the face. Knight then shoots force lightning at Lupine.*

Knght: I'm so weak...help me...I'm old....

*No Name stares back and forth at Lupine and Knight*

Lupine: Take this! *brings back laser sword*

No Name: No, she must stay on trial! This is not the Jedi way! *draws laser sword and gets Lupine's hand*

Knight: My power is infinte! *blasts Lupine out onto oncoming traffic and gets hit by a car*

Knight: Good now Darth Minica..rise! Go destroy the pirates, they are getting in the way of the republic and preventing us from getting you an A.

*No Name walks up to the pirate temple with clones of Malk in battle armor with rifles. No Name slaughters everyone even the younglings and then goes to Hawaii for vacation. Only the GCPA pirates survive.*

Darth Minica: It feels good to be bad.

*Que Pasa comes on ship*

Que Pasa: Edwin told me you killed the younglings!

Darth: He is only trying to turn you against me.

Que Pasa: Anny you're breaking my heart!

*Darth stares at the ship to see Edwin standing like a super hero*

Darth: He is wearing my bath robes. *stares at Que Pasa and force chokes him*

Edwin: Let him go! I said LET-HIM-GO!

Darth: You've turned Que Pasa against me!

Edwin: You've done that yourself!

Darth: I see through the lies of the pirates!

Edwin: You let Knight manipulate you ...until now..you've become the very thing you swore to destroy!

Edwin: I'm sorry No Name...I've failed...I've failed you... *draws laser sword*

No Name: Good bye old friend!

*Big laser sword fight beings...the turning point for the story. The two old friends battle across the Hawaaian resorts travelling up the volcano. They battle across a bridge that connects parts other volcanoes together. The two then jump onto a raft that is traveling up a river of lava. Lightsabers swing in a kung-fu fancy style. When finally Edwin jumps to the higher grounds.*

Edwin: You lose No Name. I have the high grounds.

No Name: You underestimate the power of the dark side *jumps into the air*

*Edwin swipes No Name's two legs and left arm. No Name tries to grab onto the dirt of the volcanoes but in no avail. No Name stares up at Edwin*

Edwin: You were the chosen one!...not really but you did rock me to sleep and give me warm milk and read me bed time stories...but still...you were like my brother!

No Name: I HATE YOU!!! *gets burnt by lava*

*Edwin takes No Name's laser sword*

*Knight then comes with Malk clones and picks up No Name. Then she takes him to a lab where he gets repaired and implanted with cybernetics.*

Knight: Lord Minica..can you hear me?

Darth Minica: Yes master...

Darth Minica: Did Andy Milonkis make it past the first season?

Knight: Sorry!

Darth MInica: NOOOOOOOOO!

Bob Saget's Apprentice arrives

Saget's Apprentice: I'm sorry but Knight you must die. Kill her Minica.

*Darth Minica Impales Knight with his cool new red laser sword*

Sagget's Apprentice: Excellent. Everything is going according to plan.

Author: GORE-ILLA

*In a hidden New Jersey swamp, banded together from remote galaxies, thirteen of the most sinister High Tech teachers of all time- the Faculty of Doom! Mr. Noble, dressed in a fruity purple jumpsuit, calls for order.*

Mr. Noble: Allright. Time to take attendance. Dr. T!

Dr. T: (now with green skin and wearing only a red tanktop and black briefs) I am present!

Mr. Noble: Dr. Abbassi!

Dr. Abbassi: (now with pruple skin, a blue jumpsuit and a yellow magic ring) Here!

Mr. Noble: Ms. Knight!

Ms. Knight: (wearing a skintight cat costume. Everyone averts their eyes from here) Here!

Mr. Noble: Mr. Gutmann!

Mr. Gutmann: (wearing a suit covered with question marks and a mask that doesn't cover anything) What is present without-

Mr. Noble: Just say here, dammit! Mr. I!

Mr. I: (wearing a scarecrow suit, just cackles maniacally)

Mr. Noble: Clyde!

Clyde: (wearing a scuba diver suit) Why did I have to be Black Manta? And who got the Toyman?

Mr. Noble: Mr. Marchese!

Mr. Marchese: (wears a jester outfit as he rides around the council room in a K'nex car)

Mr. Noble: Mr. Meyer!

Mr. Meyer: (smashes table) Mr. Meyer here! TV brainwash Mr. Meyer!

Mr. Noble: That's nice, Mr. Meyer. Mr. Estrada!

Mr. Estrada: (dressed in an eskimo suit, wielding ice guns) Say hello to my little frie- (accidentally smacked across the room by Mr. Meyer)

Mr. Noble: Mr. G!

Mr. G: (now a large gorilla for some reason) Remember to sign the last bus slip!

Mr. Noble: Sensei!

Sensei: (wearing a leapord bikini and skirt, grows to the size of a giant) Hai!

Mr. Noble: And now while Mr. Brancato is away on maternity leave, I shall introduce our new member... Mr. Deska!

*Nan Deska steps out of the shadows, wearing an eyepatch where his monocle once was.*

Nan Deska: Nan Deska am bored.

Dr. Abbassi: What is this? He's no teacher! He looks like that pirate punk from my Access class!

Nan Deska: In Bizzarro World, Nan Deska am teacher!

Mr. Noble: Yes. And now with all of us together we can focus our efforts on one goal- the complete and utter destruction of the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada! How have you advanced our mission, fellow evil ones?

Sensei: Ahh, test tomorrow!

Ms. Knight: I'm keeping them busy with another essay.

Mr. Noble: And what about you, Mr. I?

Mr. I: I made them draw traffic lights and watch a movie!

Mr. Noble: ...Yeah, you might want to work on your torturing efforts somewhat. Anyway, now all thirteen of us shall take an active role in destroying the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada once and for all! And I have the pefrectly overcomplicated plan...

Author: GORE-ILLA

OoC: Err... double-post? It had to be done.

*On the Golden Cheesecake, all the pirates are recuperating from No Name's evil-turning.*

Que Pasa: Guys, we've gotta go pick up some chicks. It'll be killer, man.

Scruffy: Silence, first mate. We must find No Name and bring him back a-freakin-gain.

Mini-Myself: Yeah, he kinda turned evil twice in a row. And are we still in the future or what?

Pink Ninja: You're just letting yourselves get sidetracked again! I'm gonna go find Bob Saget's Apprentice myself. He's behind all of this. (disappears)

eLfa: I'll stop him from doing anything stupid. (follows)

*A beam of yellow light shoots down from the sky, blows up Nemo and rocks the ship as Dr. Abassi laughs evilly in the sky above them with his power ring. A giant K'Nex spaceship descends from the sky, and the Faculty of Doom come out from it.*

Scruffy: What is this?

Mr. Noble: Your greatest enemies- the Faculty of Doom! That's right, a union of your greatest enemies, and now we all have superpowers from a freak accident!

Scruffy: What?

Mr. Noble: All right, so like two of us got superpowers while the rest of us are just really smart. Now we shall fight because I feel like it.

*The GCPA and the Faculty run towards each other and start fighting. Scruffy tosses fireballs at Mr. Noble, but they all bounce off of his suit.*

Mr. Noble: My fruit suit can withstand all attacks! (grabs Nemo and eats him)

*Lupine jumps ten feet into the air and prepares to dropkick Dr. T.*

Dr. T: My computer-like mind tells you to shut the hell up! (fires a laser into Lupine's groin)

*Stampede fires at Dr. Abassi, who forms a yellow force field to deflect his attacks at Nemo.*

Dr. Abassi: Haha, your guns are powerless against the power yellow!

Stampede: No they're not.

Dr. Abassi: (pinches Stampede's neck in that way that makes him pass out)

*Siren and Sensei wrestle in thongs.*

Siren: Give it up Sensei, you can't win.

Sensei: Ehh? Jaanai! (grows to giant size)

Siren: On second thought- (leaps out of the way of Sensei's foot while Nemo is crushed)

Mr. Gutmann: They have ears but they do not listen, they have eyes but they do not see. They have mouths but they do not- (spits out Mini-Myself and squeezes him) stop talking.

*That Krazy Dude is mopping up Nemo's remains where Mr. Meyer smashes up through the floor.*

That Krazy Dude: Ah, you've awoken the turtle spirits you fiend!

Mr. Meyer: I WILL CRUSH YOU LITTLE BOY!

*That Krazy Dude screams as Mr. Meyer leaps down on him, making a giant whole in the ship.*

*Mr. I approaches ADD.*

Mr. I: Prepare to learn new meanings of horror.

ADD: ...Yeah?

Mr. I: Yes. Are you not horribly frightened by my scarecrow costume? I will force you to forge driver's licenses!

ADD: Yeah, okay. (stepped on by Sensei)

Mr. I: Uhh... that was me!

*Ms. Knight charges towards the Dreamer. Dreamer is too busy trying not to look at Ms. Knight directly and gets clubbed into unconciousness.*

*Mr. Estrada has frozen the lower half of One-Armed Willy's body.*

Mr. Estrada: Are you ready to surrender now, Ricardo?

One-Armed Willy: Suck my frozen dick!

Mr. Estrada: You always find a way to tie everything to that magical organ, Ricardo. But now you shall never do what I just said you did ever again.

*Mr. Estrada is about to freeze Willy completely when Frenchie attacks from behind with a baguette. Estrada quickly freezes the baguette, which falls to the ground and shatters, and then he freezes Frenchie.*

*Edwin runs across the deck of the ship while Mr. Marchese chases him in a giant K'Nex plane.*

Mr. Marchese: Did you know that fire is a living organism and God is a robot?

Edwin: Damn is this period over yet?

*Salama and Mr. G sumo-wrestle.*

Salama: There's no way you can contain me, I can eat my way out of any cage.

Mr. G: But can you eat your way out of eating itself? (swallows Salama whole and grows several times larger) You should have signed the late bus slip.

*Que Pasa confronts... Nan Deska.*

Que Pasa: You? Nan Deska?

Nan Deska: Nan Deska is angry for you. Nan Deska is crush for you!

Karl: I am talking.

Que Pasa: You fell down a chasm.

Nan Deska: Nan Deska get... BETTAR. Now hurry up so Nan Deska can rape your corpse and make it into Nan Deska's love puppet.

Que Pasa: That's damn creepy-

*Nan Desk's nose turns into a lead weight and knocks Que Pasa's lights out. Clyde rounds up the others- Karl, Robosexual and Lyssa.*

Mr. Noble: Now we'll take them to our own school, where they shall learn about... DOOM!

Scruffy: The video game?

Mr. Noble: Go back to unconciousness.

Scruffy: Okay. (passes out)

Mr. Noble: (wipes his face with Nemo's bladder) Drive us off, Mr. Marchese!

*Mr. Marchese drives off in the K'Nex plane. Mr. T emerges from the ship too late.*

Mr. T: I pity the fools who kidnap T's friends...

Author: That Krazy Dude

Morgan Freeman: Later on, at the miscellaneous new jersey swamp lair

Noble: Now we finally have the golden cheesecake pirates under our power. But for some strange reason i have a feeling that we forgot something involving a mohawk, gold, and milk....oh how stupid of me...*turns to the faculty of doom* I forgot to introduce you to our new mascot, the golden, mohawk-having cow.

*the golden, mohawk-having cow enters the lair as everyone stares at it wondering what the significance of having a golden cow with a mohawk is*

Noble: By the way, it has a laser-beam cannon and can grow to the size of that death star thing that you see in Star Wars.

Gutmann: What would the point of this cow be? I want a two-page essay explaining the significance of the cow and the irony of it being able to grow to the size of a death star. Be sure to use non-internet sources and format it in the style of a research paper.

Knight: Mr. Noble please tell us the point of having this cow.

Noble: Well the point is--

Gutmann: Don't tell anyone that. They must research it in order to learn.

Noble: But I'm the only one who knows why it--

Gutmann: Just because you know doesn't mean you need to give everyone else the easy way by telling them.

Noble: But--

Gutmann: If people studied as much as they talked, we would be at least 10 times as smart as we all are now.

Noble: Forget it.

Morgan Freeman: Meanwhile, the crew is confined in Mr. G's office.

Scruffy: Man, how are we going to get out of this.

Stampede: I don't know but for some reason I keep thinking about gold, mohawks, and milk...*golden, mohawk-having, cow walks by* Oh that's why.

Que Pasa: I hunger...FEED ME!!!

Krazy: Where have all the potato crisps gone?

One-Arm Willy: Man this office seems extremely familiar to me. I feel like I've been in here like fifty-thousand times.

Scruffy: Well I guess we have no choice but to sit here and wait until we get our chance to escape.

Lupine: Or until we all die horrible deaths.

Edwin: Why must you constantly say the depressing things.

Siren: You guys suck.

Que Pasa: Your mom.

Siren: Not this again.

Krazy: Who's what again?

Mr. G: SILENCE ALL OF YOU!!! You stand no chance of escaping this office so don't even plan on doing anything. You're trapped here until we have no further use of any of you. Then we'll kill you and say that you all just killed each other due to playing overly-violent video games.

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Mr. T and Patten McGroin suit up in a funky musical montage.*

Mr. T: You ready to slap them faculty fools?

Patten McGroin: Hell yes, they didn't even bother to try capturing me! Why am I always being ignored?

Mr. T: Cut the jibba jabba, don't care about you foo. We gonna take the bus now. (puts the Golden Cheesecake in his pocket)

Patten McGroin: Yeah, the ship would look too suspicous. (is slapped across the face)

Mr. T: Don't point out the obvious, just do it Mr. McFoo!

*Mr. T and Patten stop at the side of the road, and T pulls up his pant leg to attract a school bus. Then T fires several grenades through the windows. They both rush in.*

Raphael: Hey guys.

*Mr. T commandeers the school bus and drives wildly through Tonnelle Avenue, driving straight through any cars in their way. The bus then heads straight for a broken bridge. Mr. T, Patten and Raphael all grab each other and scream, but the bus makes the jump and everyone cheers.*

Mr. T: We gonna make it foos, we gonna make it!

Patten: Yes! We can do it!

Raphael: What are we doing?

*The bus drives plows right through the parking lot.*

Security Guard: (bus zooms past) What's that, Billy? You say you're 18? Why good for you then, go right ahead to McDonald's! I better tell everyone I know about this now. (no one there)

*The bus drives straight towards the school, ready to smash right through it, but the school turns out to be a mirage that fades away to reveal a giant ass.*

Admiral Ackbar: IT'S A TRAP!

Rapheal: No! My nightmare has come true!

Patten: (doesn't get any lines)

Mr. T: I pity the-

*The bus is sucked into the anus. The camera zooms out as Mr. Noble pulls up his pants.*

Mr. Noble: Well pirates, your rescue party has failed, all according to my plan.

Que Pasa: (whispers to Scruffy) Captain, I fear there may be more to this than meets the eye! The teachers are too organized, some other diabolical hand must be behind all this, manipulating them all!

Scruffy: (whispers back) Why are you making sense?

Que Pasa: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY CHILDREN AWAY! (kicks Scruffy through a wall)

Sensei: I think he needs more chains.

Author: No Name

Darth Minica walks in to the Faculty of Doom's meeting drinking sake

Knight: Hello Darth.

Darth: I thought I killed you!

Knight: I know how your mind works, I can help you become a stronger writer. Look here this is what the universities want.

Darth: I don't care what the universities want. Once my master gets complete power he will get rid of those useless insittutions

Knight: Do you know what the purpose of universities are?

Darth: To reject annoyingly crappy teachers like you?

Knight: No. It's to advance human knowledge.

Darth: How bout I advance my fist into your face.

Knight: Lets say doctor Mini found a new species of ....gafsdgfdg

Darth: Now your just making things up.

Knight: And he contacted doctor Scruffy.

Darth: Are you hitting on me now?

Knight:..and..

Darth: SHUT UP! *force chokes knight* I dont know what hurts more, looking at you, smelling you're breath, or listening to you!

Darth: I'm not here for this crap. My master demands that you give him the pirates now!

Noble: We're not done with them Mister No Name...

Darth: Don't call me by that name...he's dead to me.

Gutman: Nice metaphor!

Darth: How about my fist...meeta your phorhead..yea nice * gives a high five to Marchese*

Darth: I owe it all to...no...they're not my friends anymore*Flashback to earth day*

Que Pasa: Alright No Name you can do it..you can make it past ..this sac race..and touch the dancing palm tree..then wrestle the crocodile

No Name: Is the crocodile a metaphor?

Edwin: No! You have to wrestle a real crocodile!

No Name: What th- I didn't sign up for this!

Stampede: Too bad! *shoves No Name onto the racing track#

Refferee: Start you sacs!

* No Name, Mini-myself, and Scruffy hope across the room in their sacs. No Name and Mini are tied for 1st but Mini accidentally slips falling on his head on the other side of the finish line*

No Name: No denying...you were a HEAD of the race!

*Que Pasa is leaning on a palm tree*

Que Pasa: I have this tree in the PALM of my hand!

No Name: AHAHAHA!

Que Pasa: Shut up and wrestle that crocodile! *breaks glass bottle on head*

*A big cartoon dust cloud envelopes around the crocodile and No Name which Que Pasa gets caught in. The dust settles and No Name has Que Pasa in a head lock*

No Name: Wait a minute, you're not the crocodile...you're not the crocodile at all!

Que Pasa: Oh No Name!

*The crew laughs while Mini-Myself is left crippled and unattended from his fall on his head*

Darth: And thats the last thing they said to me...sips sake *but just spills all over the suit because of his helmet*

Knight: How does it make you feel?

Darth: Oh for Heaven's SAKE! shut up!

Leo from That 70's show: You're still the king man!

Author: GORE-ILLA

*In the Faculty of Doom's lair, Mr. Malkowicz drops in.*

Mr. Malko: Hey guys, what's up? ...Wait, I know these kids, most of them are from my Global History class. What's going on here?

Noble: Err... well, you see...

Mr. G: These students have committed the most heinous of crimes- um, they (makes up some crime that would deeply offend Malko, cuz I can't think of any at the moment and Steven's a moron)

Mr. Malko: What a shame, they were good kids. Well instead of turning them in to the police, I suggest we try out one of my ideas for an ideal prison, and send them to live on a desert island for several years.

Noble: ...You know, that idea's not half bad. All in favor?

Everyone: AYE!

*And so, the GCPA members are quickly dropped on a deserted island to live our their life sentences.*

Darth Ugly: (nudges Mr. Marchese with elbow) I guess you can say they better learn how to make some damn good SAND-whiches, you know what I mean?

Ms. Knight: I don't appreciate that, Steven. Please move to the other side of the room.

Darth Ugly: (sadly picks up his books and sits down next to Sensei)

Sensei: Ohiyo Stebun-san, where's that vague homework assignment I gave you just yesterday?

Darth Ugly: Oh it's over in my bookbag, let me- (gets up)

Sensei: (jumps in front of Darth Ugly and grows intimidatingly) SUATTE KUDASAI!

Darth Ugly: (quickly sits down) You guys are no fun...

*Within the confines of Mr. Noble's anus, Mr. T, Rafael and Patten McGroin slowly exit the bus and examined their surroundings- finding themselves in a dark, dank yawning cave.*

Rafael: That's right, it's spelled with an f, not a ph.

Patten McGroin: How the hell can we get out of this place? (swifty dodges a giant feces-covered bat) This is the worst place for anything to ever exist.

Mr. T: Don't worry fool! Gotta be some way out!

Rafael: ...I have a plan. Follow my lead.

*Rafeal walks over to one of the walls and begins tickling it. Patten and Mr. T follow on his lead. Mr. Noble begins trembling in his seat, and suddenly he starts farting wildly, releasing Rafael, Patten McGroin and Mr. T, who pose in front of them.*

Mr. Malko: Hey, look it's Rafael! ...That's strange.

Mr. T: Class is in session fools.

*And as the Faculty of Doom closes in on the three trespassers, the rest of the GCPA cope with life on their island while contemplating who should be eaten first. And from behind the scenes, Bob Saget's Apprentice and Mors have a mysterious meeting.*

Mors: You see, my plan with the Bizarro World and the Unholy Alliance is working much better than expected.

Bob Saget's Apprentice: Oh yeah? Well I've secretly engineered the evil-fying of the Nameless Pirate, plus helped the Faculty of Doom gain superpowers.

Mors: You fool! Why didn't my father choose me to train his dark arts, instead of you stupid-

Bob Saget's Apprentice: (grabs Mors by the neck) Because I have higher dreams...

Mors: You... bastard (neck breaks, and Bob Saget's Apprentice's disguise falls to reveal Eugene Levy)

Eugene Levy: ...And I will be the man. (evil laughter)

Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7