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Author: Golem[edit]
~The Planet of Sharp, Dangerous Objects...~
A chubby man around four and a half feet tall, who wears a brown jacket, tan pants, and a red baseball cap, swims up to Saru and Cerulea. His skin is bubblegum-pink.~
Chubby man: Mind not drownin' us all?
Saru: Yeah, I do. I die when I'm impaled by sharp objects.
~The chubby man puts one hand on Saru and the other on Cerulea. They stick to his hands, and he swims to a shallow part, where he can walk on spikes, and holds them above his head. Saru and Cerulea, partially because of their senses calming down after the extreme awareness they've just had, and partially because see no reason to be threatened by him, so they let him do this.~
Chubby man: See? I'll just carry you to where you can stay safely. Now I'd appreciate it if you'd drain all the water out before everyone on this planet dies.
~Cerulea complies, and soon they are in the local car dealership--all of it level and safe ground.~
Chubby man: My name's Key, you folks need anything?
Saru: Nice to meet you, we're Saru and Cerulea, and I'm fine.
Cerulea: Thanks, but I'm fine also.
Key: So, Saru, Cerulea... what brought you two here?
Saru: Well, we came out here to take down a megalomaniacal conquerer named Nijuka, but we got caught in a scuffle with his henchman, Ritz--
Key: Ritz?! You saw him?!
Saru: Yeah, you know him?
Key: That big jerk used to think he ran this planet. Well, the citizens of this planet taught him a thing or two, but he caught my brother, Stic, in the midst of it and I haven't seen him since. I'm not even sure my brother is alive... I sure miss him, we were a real team, a real dynamic duo, you know?
Cerulea: Well, we were planning on taking Ritz and Nijuka down. We can lead you to them, but we don't have any transportation... we could fly, but it would be better to rest for now if we hope to do better.
Key: You don't have to worry about transportation, we're in a car dealership. How does the sound of a space-capable 1957 Chevy strike ya?
Saru: Wait, what about the other citizens of the planet? Wouldn't they like to help out?
Key: After what Cera... Ceralaya did, they won't be likin' you two.
Cerulea: Oh, heh...
Key: By the way, if you talk to the biographer before me, tell 'im my special powers are bein' powerfully sticky and liftin' heavy things, okay?
Author: Fred[edit]
Key: Alrigh, I reckon I'll jus' get this car started... Oh, jazz, I'm stuck to tha' car door again.
Cerulea: Yeah, uh, that's really useful or something. Get in the back, and try not to become permamently part of the seat.
Saru: You're a terrible liar, Cer.
Cerulea: Cer?
Saru: Hey, I needed a nickname for you! DON'T QUESTION ME OR YOU'LL GET BURNED
Cerulea:...
Key: That's powerful super! Now, befoh I lose my cheery disposition towards life, coul' we jus' get a goin'?
Saru: I'm driving.
(The car busts out of the window of Key's house, and knocks like ten other parked cars out of the way as it manages to ascend)
Cerulea: That was actually your best ever.
Saru: I'll try to keep it identifiable. That's not a promise.
Key: Crying or Very sad It's too late to change mah mind. It's too late to change mah mind. It's too lat-
(On Mystery, the planet rumbles. Before that, though, Ritz and Fusion battle. Fusion fires a full arsenal of abilities at Ritz, whom stylishly breakdances about them, while wearing roller skates and tossing exploding minature disco balls back at Fusion.)
Fusion: Face my wrath!
Ritz: Cool it, cat, I've got moves that'll put the hurt where it... hurts.
(Ritz rushes Fusion in a spinning frenzy, and then jumps up, and gives Fusion a kick to the face. Fusion simply endures it, and grabs Ritz. Fusion sets his body aflare with energy, and drags Ritz across the floor, making a huge trail. Fusion then throws Ritz in the air, and kicks him into the ceiling. Ritz, who is in a pretty bad way, brings out his weapon - a novelty cigarette, and lights it. His rushes down, and embeds it directly in Fusion's forehead, making Fusion stagger back horribly. Ritz gives an upward jump-kick to the chin, and Fusion slumps into a corner, where Ritz pulls out his Funk Launcher, and in an uneededly Toejam and Earl-like-fashion, fires it at his target, burying Fusion under a great deal of rubble. Ritz then kinda slumps over.
The ground shakes violently, now, as ethereal, purple energy-hands smash the planet. The transformed Introbulus forces the planet to hold together, in a test of will. Nijuka's power of the two Akujin eyes forces the planet to crumble more than it can be repaired while Nijuka cackles like a madman (or a very happy, but disturbed man), so Introbulus gives him a kick to the stomach, while reforming things. Nijuka's power stops, and the whole planet comes back, nearly collapsing into itself from the force)
Nijuka: My beautiful destruction! Why did you have to go and RUIN IT? (pause) Answer me!
(Introbulus angrily stares at him, and prepares another assault, when Nijuka fires enormous beams at him, smashing him against the ground violently. Nijuka's arms are the cerebus arms that Akujin had back in MOG7.)
Introbulus:...Them, again.
Nijuka: Yes, this certainly isn't the first time you've ever seen these babies, is it? It's interesting, what happens when two S-spacers sacrifice themselves simply for you to become more powerful. I mean, I wouldn't know what that's like, but Akujin did, and now I benefit from it!
Introbulus: I think, I really think what you need is a Introbulus-style beating!
Nijuka: Ah, so you do talk!
Introbulus: I was trying to remember what day of the week it was.
(Nijuka fires, which misses by a great deal)
Introbulus: Er, yeah, good work.
Nijuka: I don't really care about you, look at all the PROPERTY DAMAGE I can cause! You won't even have a planet left to stand on!
(Introbulus looks back to see a large crater in the place of a large-but-evacuated city: NO ONE dies in MOG.
Except Dumbledore.)
Introbulus: Hey, that city has feelings, and possibly hot dog vendors! You can't just destroy all that history, all that hard work! Well, you can, but-
(A sign reads: Last year's mass-produced model of cities made for Scientologists)
Introbulus: Okay, I don't really care about that one, but still.
Nijuka: I've destroyed countless planets!
Introbulus: I'm pretty sure they could be counted-
Nijuka: Shut up! I'm unstoppable! I'll prove it!
(From the Cerebus aAms snake out two more Cerebus Arms with snake-like necks each, and two more from each of those, and so forth until Introbulus faces a myriad of energy-blasting heads that are PRACTICALLY MADE OF DEATH)
Introbulus: Eep.
Nijuka: Now, face your-
(GORE tosses the injured, but sorta-tamed Olive at Nijuka, knocking him off his high horse, as well as his feet)
GORE: I think it's tim-
(BSD grabs GORE, and takes him to the cliff, dragging him off into a death spiral. Seeing the energy radiating from the sword, Nijuka and Introbulus fight each other while racing to the cliff)
(MMMMM-BOP-while, with Yddet, the ground is greatly shaken but Nijuka's fit. Many soldiers are knocked to their feet, and some off the veranda behind Yddet. Yddet tosses his flyswatter into the stairwell, destroying it, and then pulls out a deadly weapon - a fusion-powered reaction missle launcher, wasting no time in destroying the stairwell on the other side, and aiming directly for StuMan Jr.)
StuMan Jr.: Stupid planet exploding. Oh well, we expected this. At least you're in the room.
Yddet: What? Nevermind that, just DIE!
(Yddet fires almost instantly at StuMan, but it turns out to only be a hologram. All of the walls open to reveal weapons - some tracking lasers, some explosives-launchers, some flamethrowers, some chainsaws.)
Yddet: That'd be impressive, but-
(The entire room explodes as Yddet's ship drops a heavy explosive. The only unaffected area is the one Yddet and Vlad stand in)
Yddet: I've never unknowingly walked into a trap in my life, if you can call it that.
(On Earth, horrible things start to happen, with the remaining two generals in America. The first of which is Spaze, a Young teenage human boy, who's veins radiate purple from the Fusion blood that constitutes most of the fluids in his body. The other is Raze, a female, but of what origins is mysterious. (YOU DECIDE))
Raze: I'm not feeling up to doing anything. Go ahead and destroy this... "Rocketsville".
Spaze: Very Happy You bet! Hrrrrungh!
(Spaze bends a Building towards him without touching it, and releases it. The Building shatters into chunks that basically level most of the city.)
Raze: I suppose that was okay.
Spaze: I can do better than okay!
Raze: Well, you'll just have to show me.
Spaze: Twisted Evil Count on it!
Author: Yami Yoshi[edit]
Meanwhile on Mystery…
Nijuka: Hmph! Get out of my way!
~Nijuka’s Cerberus Heads all fire dark energy blasts at Olive.~
Olive: ~hissing~ Masssssterrrrr…whyyyyyy…
~Olive lets out a final shrill hiss as the dark energy blasts obliterate the insect.~
Introbulus: ~clenches fists~ You…
~Introbulus’s right fist fires an enormous shotgun blast of golden energy at Nijuka.~
Nijuka: Eek!
~Nijuka and his Cerberus Heads are consumed by an explosion of golden light. A few seconds later, the light fades revealing an armless but grinning Nijuka.~
Nijuka: Kee, hee, hee…you’re afraid…
Introbulus: What?!
Nijuka: Had you used your full power, you would’ve destroyed me right then and there! Of course, you would’ve destroyed your friends and the planet as well! Kee, hee, hee!
Introbulus: Sorry, but I’m not a heartless fiend like you!
Nijuka: Kee, hee, hee! Don’t apologize to me!
~Nijuka sprouts a new pair of Cerberus Heads~
Nijuka: Apologize to the universe! ~sprouts another pair~ Apologize for your cowardice! ~sprouts another pair~ Apologize for your reluctance to make sacrifices! ~sprouts another pair~ Apologize for your inability to protect it!
~Nijuka floats several feet into the air as the Cerberus Heads conjure a single dark energy ball. The ball rapidly grows in size until its volume is equivalent to that of a small moon.~
Nijuka: It’s either you or me! Everything else is going else is going to be completely and utterly destroyed! Kee, hee, hee, hahahahaha!
Author: Luigi of the Pipes[edit]
~Cat was transforming while Syphnity/Rhyk was trying to de-soul him and the other Party Goers were trying to get into their bodies, except for, y'know, Hamilton and Kuria. Refreshed?~
~Kuria shoots an arrow at Rhyk from behind and hits him squarely in Syphnity. Rhyk falls over groaning.~
Rhyk: No!
~Hamilton rushes Rhyk and uppercuts his chin, which does nothing except make Hamilton's hand bleed.~
Kuria: Okay, hun? I started a trend here. You were supposed to follow.
~Rhyk grabs Hamilton and throws him at Cat, but overshoots and throws him through the wall. Kuria shoots Syphnity with another arrow.~
Rhyk: DAMMIT WOMAN!
~Rhyk lunges at Kuria, but out of nowhere a turtle shell lands on his back, slamming him into the ground, while the shell falls off nearby and spins around, arms and legs extending into a breakdance pose.~
Flutter: I never liked you, Rhyk. Why make an angsty robotic clone of that stupid kid when you could have been a sexy robotic clone of me?
Rhyk: You can't do this! I need you all!
~Rhyk turns around, oil streaming out of him, to look at the other Party Goers, in the flesh. Except Sapphire... still.~
Hamilton: We won't be slaves to you anymore. Not without a reason.
Rhyk: You want a reason? YOU WANT A REASON?!
Yoshiman: Yes? That's the answer, right?
Rhyk: ~points at still-transforming Cat~ THERE'S YOUR REASON!
~Cat stands up, no longer Cat. He is pale and gothic... and stuff.~
Black Cat: Hello.
Flutter: So?
Ditto: Cat's emotions have been severly twisted by the influence of one of us in this room, turning him into an evil, angsty version of his already potentially evil self.
Hamilton: Wait. How do you--?
~Ditto punches Hamilton in the solar plexus. The others turn on him, but Black Cat disables them from behind, knocking them to the ground. Ditto nods at Black Cat, his features shifting subtlely.~
Dark Ditto: Good work.
Black Cat: So it was you all along? Where's the real McCloaker?
Dark Ditto: Long passed.
Black Cat: Pity. Well, the action is on Mystery. Shall we?
Dark Ditto: One thing, first.
~Dark Ditto walks over to Rhyk, and with one sharp thrust rips the Syphnity out of his chest. The rest of the metal just sort of rusts and falls away. He and Black Cat wander off to find a hyperspace shuttle, unaware of Sapphire's spirit's presence in Black Cat's pocket OMG.~
Yoshiman: Do you guys remember when things used to be simple?
All: No.
Author: Golem[edit]
~Dark Ditto and Black Cat make it to the room at the top of the foot, the ceiling of which is glass at the level the ankle should be. Black Cat is still looking around horizontally when Dark Ditto grabs his attention to look upward at the glass.~
Black Cat: ...I see.
~Above them is the ocean and all its life.
Back on Mystery.
Introbulus has not been doing nothing as Nijuka's energy sphere takes form. Rather, he has been gathering metal from throughout the universe and has kept them on sides of the planet not visible to Nijuka.~
Nijuka: ~thrusts his arms towards Introbulus, hurling the sphere~ I WI--
~Nijuka is unable to finish "win" as Introbulus' metal instantly surrounds him and the giant energy sphere.
Everyone who can watches the scene in awe, occasionally lit by the slits of light caused as the energy ball tries to stretch open its metal prison. BSD gains an upper hand on GORE in order to throw his Rainbow Sword at Introbulus, but instead he becomes still and watches. Vlad can see the sphere imbetween bits of the fallen castle, fallen without its metal framework. Dead inhabitants of the cemetary near fallen Disco Palace, unaware of death without the existence of Q-Space, look on with a look of realization. Saru, Cerulea, and Key watch as they fall to Mystery's surface from the now ruined Chevy. Even Yami Yoshi, Dark Omelette at the ready, cannot change his focus from the scene.
The sphere pulsates like a racing heart.
Introbulus stands stiff, his muscles tensed, with sweat drenching his calm face.
Similar to Introbulus' sweat, light drenches all who watch. Only that light is visible and nothing else exists. The light of Introbulus' red hot metal and Nijuka's yellow energy sphere mix, and when the orange light disappates, neither combatant can be seen while everything else comes back into existence.
Except one other being is missing from the scene, other than Introbulus and Nijuka: Key.~
Yami Yoshi: HEY, INTROBULUS!
Velvet Monkey: He's dead. They're both dead. That light that embraced us was every last particle of their energy.
Yami Yoshi: Until the fat lady is hitting those high notes, I'm not assuming anything. And even then...!
OOC: Graa, thanks to Yami for letting me post his Introbulus-uses-all-the-metal idea. Quite an awesome sign of character development amongst OGity.
Author: Luigi of the Pipees[edit]
Yami Yoshi: No one dies in MOG! Except Dumbledore. Introbulus!
Velvet Monkey: Stop.
Yami Yoshi: Introbulus!!
Velvet Monkey: Give up.
Yami Yoshi: INTROBULUS!!!
Velvet Monkey: HE'S GONE!
~Yami Yoshi turns and kicks Velvet Monkey in the face, then runs to the spot where Nijuka and Introbulus were.~
Yami Yoshi: Shatmucker...
GORE-ILLA: YAMI!
~BSD headbutts GORE-ILLA and slashes him across the chest, then takes several running/flying leaps, lands behind Yami Yoshi, and runs him through with the Rainbow Sword.~
Yami Yoshi: . . .
Velvet Monkey: Oh well.
GORE-ILLA: YAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~GORE-ILLA runs at Yami Yoshi and BSD in slow motion, one hand over his chest. Fusion bursts out of the rubble nearby and joins GORE-ILLA. Just as they reach BSD, the chevy with Saru and Cerulea lands on top of them. The two of them roll out of the chevy and land near Yami, who is still being impaled.~
Cerulea: Ow.
Saru: That sucked. Where's Nijuka? ~looks up and sees Yami~ Oh.
~Saru and Cerulea get to their feet, but Ritz releases cat-shaped pizzas on them, which claw them horrendously. Yami, meanwhile, flickers from on fire to wrapped in bandages, then slumps. BSD withdraws his sword.~
Ritz: Mmm-bop. What ever shall we do without Master Nijuka around?
BSD: ~grunts~
Ritz: Hope that that SwordMaster felluh doesn't show up and see you killed the rest of the OG Six, yeah.
Velvet Monkey: I'm available if you need leadership, y'know...
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
*It's not very often that GORE is crushed under a flying Chevy. But it's a well-known fact that whenever such an event occurs, it will cause GORE to experiance a random flashback as it does now.*
Flashback:
*Everyone looks up to the destroyed ceiling, except Sapphire, who is sitting on a cocuh watching tv. A spaceship descends
through it and lands in the middle. The ramp opens and a purple alien walks down flanked by beefy shirtless guards.*
Golem: Wh- who are you?
Alien: I am Shane of the Planet VGF 1, your new overlord.
Vorpal: I don't think so!
*Shane snaps his fingers and his beefy guards leap forward and pounce on Vorpal, who is crushed on the ground beneath their bluging
biceps and at the same time too creeped out to plan a counterattack.*
S-Cargo: I'll take care of this guy! ...After my weapon finishes loading. (The weapon flashes "ERROR PLEASE RESTART" and then
explodes) Stupid Dell.
Sapphire: (turns up the volume)
Shane: Anyone else want to be a hero? I have much worse punishments in mind. You should see what I've done with the last person to
cross me. In fact I think you know him... (holds up a pair of red shorts)
Golem: YOSHIMAN!!
GORE-ILLA: What have you done to him?
Shane: Use your imagination.
Steve: How dare you conquer my Earth before me!
Shane: Earth? No, that name is too dull and retro. For this new age I dub this planet... VGF 2! (snaps fingers) Horhay! Hesipidus!
Let's get out of here. We have to pick more random houses to crash into and announce our domination.
*Horhay and Hesipdus nod, get up, taser Vorpal a little and leap over to the ramp. Shane leaps into
their arms as they carry him into the ship.*
GORE-ILLA: We can't just let this scum get away! He'll screw this planet over faster than any of us!
*The ramp closes as GORE rushes towards it. Everyone, one by one leaps on GORE to stop them, and it ultimately takes the full party
to pin him down while Shane's spaceship takes off.*
Golem: Hang on! There has to be another way!
GORE: I could've crushed that worm right there and this would all be over.
Steve: That was odd. What was I doing again?
Rhyk: You were just leaving.
Steve: I guess so. I'll seeya later. (leaves)
Sapphire: (changes the channel)
Ritz: I say, this is a perfect chance for me to take Nijuka's place and spread a Disco Revolution across the universe!
Yddet: (drops Vlad) I don't think so. I can rule this empire much more efficently then you!
Velvet Monkey: Hang on right there! I'll fight you both for leadership!
Yddet: Bring it Violet!
Velvet Monkey: VIOLET?! You're going down.
*GORE, Saru, Cerulea and Fusion gather around Yami's body, which has hardened into stone.*
Cerulea: Poor Yami. He didn't have a chance.
Saru: He knew the risk of this job.
GORE: Hang on! I have a plan!
Fusion: Oh man! If you're thinking what I'm thinking... then that'd be very creepy.
*GORE concentrates his imagination and conjures up a Pikachu, which falls at Yami's side and cries. Its tears restore Yami Yoshi.*
Yami Yoshi: Hey... I'm alive! (eats the Pikachu) AND I get a free snack! Ain't that something. So what did I miss?
GORE: (wakes up) Hey why's Yami dead?
Cerulea: Your Pikachu revival was just a two-second dream.
GORE: Oh.
Saru: (looks over) Velvet Monkey is fighting the other two guys!
Fusion: Damn, we gotta help him...
GORE: No, leave him be. He can take it.
Fusion: What? Why no-
GORE: We're better off just staying away from him.
*The group is interuppted as Kelrisgnskweropop!?2@t and BSD emerge from the ground before them and rushes at them.*
*Back on Earth SwordMaster faces off with a giant robot- or actually a robot suit piloted by the nefarious Commander Shogun.*
Shogun: Haha!!! !! Can you truly match my Super Hyper Happy Happy Happy Chin-Time Robo-Suit???!!! Its power is unparalled to anything!!! Initiaaaaaaaaate SUPAAAAA SUWAAAAAADO MODE!!!
*The Robo-Suit draws a pair of giant swords as it rockets towards SwordMaster and forces him back, taking SwordMaster by surprise and knocking him into the drink while the others watch. The Robo-Suit reaches down and grabs Chizu.*
Shogun: Ho-ho!!! Pretty lady in my hand makes me most super hyper happy happy happiest!!!!!!!!!!?
SwordMaster: GRAAAAAH (leaps up from the lake in a rage and flies forward, the Vorpal Sword almost extending from himself, and like a giant spear he flies right through the Robo-Suit and Shogun's chest)
Shogun: CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN- (explodes)
*SwordMaster smiles and slashes the Vorpal Sword around playfully. Chizu's fright is relieved now that SwordMaster is acting normal again after that moment of darkness.*
Lila: We've done it! We've finally won this war!
Aaron: Um... Lila... n-now that we've finished this at long last... maybe you and I could kinda... y'know...
Lila: Sorry, not my type. (walks away)
Culex: Oh, rejected! (blasted with Fire Stone)
*A nearby building collapses. Everyone looks up and finds...*
Spaze: See Raze? I'll destroy this city twice as good!
Raze: We'll see.
Author: Fred[edit]
Spaze: Yeah I'll do real good I swares I wills!
Raze: Knock your- heeeeyyy, now, what's this?
Spaze: More victims? Is it? I hope so for real!
Raze: They're victims, all right. I'm very excited and everything, but I'll let your moping ass deal with them. They look like they might squirm a little more than usual.
Spaze: For real? I love victims! I like seeing how they scream and bend!
Raze: That's really great.
(Swordmaster's crew lies beneath them, and is unable to hear them, despite Spaze's obnoxious screaming)
SM: (Yelling) In the name of cheesecake, are you friend or-
(The ground around the heroes breaks, and distorts as Spaze holds his arms towards it and squeels viciously. SM is knocked on his feet, but Chizu grabs him and jumps out of the way of the smashing, ocean-like concrete. The vibrations stop, and Spaze jumps off the building. Kantii jumps at him, but Spaze takes one frenzied look at him, and his body begins to shudder uncontrolably until it snaps Kantii out of the air like an elastic band, and into a truck. The OGers look on, kinda helplessly.)
Spaze: I thought they would squirm! You said they would squirm!
Raze: Whatever.
(Suddenly, a small rocket hits Spaze's feet, blasting him into the building Raze stands on. The building collapses, and the two emerge from it once more.)
Legion: I didn't know there was a party, here.
(Culex and Aaron jump Raze and Spaze from behind, while SM comes up the front)
Kantii: Hurry it up, we've got to save the others!
Raze: Twisted Evil I'm afraid that time's not the biggest of your worries.
(Elsewhere, in a certain Weisheit's Foot...)
Black Cat: How do you suggest we escape from here? I don't hate water as much as my name implies, but -
Dark Ditto: Shh! Someone else is here...
???: To defect all nations to the people
???2: Something something Flagpole
???: Fred!
???2: Lithium Debater!
Fred: Team Poking Mayonaise, blasting through at the light of speeds!
Lithium: I see skies of blue, green oceans too!
Fred: You're RUINING IT, JERK!
Lithium: Meeeeeeeeowth! That's left!
Black Cat: Come... come again?
Dark Ditto: If you're quite done.
Fred: ooooooh no no no no ono on Yoko Ono. We can't just let you leave.
Lithium: You did track dirt from the dungeon in on the new carpet. Lupus would be most... displeased. in the eye.
Fred: I think it'd be best if we show you can,SIR! Now, prepare for a opposite of watery destruction!
Lithium: All we have is fire, Fred! Don't make promises we can'-
(Lithium fires two grapeshots at the two other villains, and as they fly backwards, the are caught by Fred, by the collars.)
Fred: GIVE ME THE CODES
(Fred tosses Black Cat into a wall, while Dark Ditto struggles and gets free, pulling out his scythe)
Dark Ditto: I've wrangled a few in my day, and if you think you simpletons can stop me from my ambitions, then you are dead wrong.
Lithium: OH YEAH SO IS YOUR FACE
Fred: Get in, ILL drive. (jumps on Dark Ditto and there is a SCREEN CHANGE)
Author: Golem[edit]
~Blue hot sulfur pricky chocolate red. A deluge of senses overwhelm Introbulus and Nijuka which quickly subsides, leaving them on a huge flat portion of the Planet of Sharp and Dangerous objects.
The four stones, one of them the blade of BSD's Rainbow Sword, are left haphazardly on the ground. Introbulus and Nijuka stand equally distant from Key holding a stick, who stands in the center.~
Key: Would'ja look at that, I'm reunited with my brother chair leg.
Introbulus: The four stones, the teleportation, where's the chair?!
Key: I AM the chair! ~spins the chair leg like a baton~
Introbulus: You gotta be kidding me...
~Nijuka and Introbulus rush Key, neither quite thinking out why. Once they get close, he swipes the chair leg horizontally in a circle around him, and they are hurled through the air from the hit.~
Key: Lupus' thingamajig kinda broke me, just let me fix myself with the stones and I can fix this whole Q R S mess.
Introbulus: So Nijuka can claim you for his own dastardly purposes?!
Nijuka: BLEE ar gar GURGH!! ...KEE hee HEE HEE!
Author: Fred[edit]
Key: hmm? You boys think you can handle me? I dun sum heavy liftin befor', boys.
Introbulus: Listen, Key, you do know what you can do, as the chair, right?
Key: Sorta. I kin do sum stuff with these stones, but them powers is terrible complicated fer' me. I don't get none too fancy.
Nijuka: Good... Why don't you fix things so we can have this mess over and done with.
Key: I think I 'member you frum sumplace.
Nijuka: We'll be getting to know each other much better, soon.
Introbulus: Key, Nijuka is dangerous. He wants to create some sort of meglomaniacal universe. The Chair is faaaar too dangerous.
Key: Mm?
Nijuka: I'm Sparticus! I mean, uh, well... (Nijuka Splits into two)
Introbulus: I hate people who can do that more than anything.
Nijuka: Fwa hah ahahah! Your universe is nothing! Come, my rubbery little friend, I tire of patience!
Introbulus: Listen, Nijuka, if you don't stop RIGHT NOW I'll-
(Nijuka1 slaps Introbulus in the face, leaving an Implant)
Introbulus: OH NO YOU DIT'ANT!
Nijuka1&2: Oh, it's on!
Key: Git away frum me!
(Nijuka2 runs at Key, only to find himself LIFTED. NIJUKA2 is suplexed into the ground, but stops himself moments before he hits, and then liquidizes his body then freezes it, trapping Key and Stic FOR LATER.)
Nijuka1: Now, what was it I had recently thought up? Ah, Yes!
Introbulus: Why is it that whenever he's happy, no one else is going to be?
(Nijuka's arms become really thin and sharp, and he leaps at Introbulus, chopping off a toe)
Introbulus: ... Ow! Jeez, man, what was THAT all about?
Nijuka: (Smiling) IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! This kind of stuff happens all the time, so be careful!
(Nijuka's lower body liquidizes and hardens around Introbulus's legs)
Introbulus: Why, why does this always happen?
(On Mystery)
Yddet: We agree then, Olive is the leader.
Ritz: Olive is dead. Oldschool.
Yddet: Ah yes. Then we agree to disagree.
Lupus: What do you think you're doing here?
VM: What?
Lupus: You heard me, Princess, what's the big idea?
Ritz: Listen, Daddy-o, we aren't gonna take this Squaaare jabber! You're the man, getting us down!
Lupus: Says who? I claim this world in the name of the almighty Weisheit, who's word I play around with to attain money, usually.
Yddet: you can't ju-
Lupus: Ah ah ah, first Lupusian rule is no talking.
Yddet: Looks like I'll have to crush you, then.
(Yddet pulls out hi-
Lupus: Nope. Sorry.
(Yddet-
Lupus: Listen, action bracket, you obviously aren't me and therefore you're not awesome enough to understand me, but you don't want to describe a loser like Yddet over there. Say something about me throwing a Cheese ray, or something cool like that. Polls say that interest in Lupus is 2000% up since last quarter, but I'm going fast, so they need to get me while limited supplies last. See my awesome list of ways to scam young children for details!
VM: How did you even get here?
Lupus: I DID get teleported out. I kinda just walked behind you guys and no one noticed. Nice job killing the OGers or whatever. I could have done it better, myself, but I didn't come all the way here to do that, so I relaxed a bit, Crank called JAY RESOP or someone, and then didn't like you. By the way, that gum's still around somewhere, and it's got the stone with it. Thankfully I brought the returning device, which I will totally use in every way.
(Lupus presses the button, and the stone flies through Nijuka2 unnoticed. Stic merges into Key and becomes THE AUTHOR'S CHAIR)
Nijuka2: Now, to make the universe mine... I can't wait to see what suffering is possible to create! KAEKAREHEHEEE
Nijuka1: Do I really sound like that? Oh well, I'm done with this chump change (throws Introbulus to the ground). Time to meet infinity!
(Nijuka1 and 2 Like thing 1 and thing 2 get in the box together and do things... wait no they just become Nijuka again and I hardly remember which is which anyways. Introbulus tries to move, but of course can only inexplicably move his mouth, which he says nothing with before collapsing. Time stops. Nijuka sits down.)
Nijuka: This is a very comfortable chair.
SticKey: Can you hurry this up? I have things to do... Oh yes, do I ever...
Nijuka: hm? what's//// JH{AEpppenooing TO OTTO ET NE MEEEEE
SticKey: How convenient that you would return to me, Nijuka. It looks like my little cursing plan worked out after all... brought my power back to me like a faithful little dog.
Nijuka: N..-s Noo...
SticKey: Yes, you fool. I created this existance, and you heroes challenged me, the very Writer whom created this world! Well, now I will start anew. You sealed me in a chair! I didn't appreciate being in here for eons, plotting revenge, for you to simply come along and strip my powers. I wanted to get your old master, but it seems that...
Nijuka?: I WILL GET MY CHANCE. Muahaehaha! Wait... Something's wrong. I'm not omnipotent!
Introbulus: Take a look at the chair, stupid!
Nijuka?: What.... NOOOO! I've not gained my powers, I've simply managed to attain corporeal form!
Introbulus: Hah, you've lost.
Nijuka?: ...H-have I? I have powers in this body, Introbulus. I have memories, minions, domination. Getting the last stone will be a walk in the park, not even. It will be child's play to obtain the last one. I'm simply killing you, for now. Once I truly rule time and space, I'll make you suffer.
Introbulus: Do your worst. Or perhaps your best. Whichever hurts less I'd pref-
(Nijuka? destroys the small planet by sucking out the core with a straw and then backwashing)
Nijuka?: I suppose there's nothing wrong with an infintessimally small challenge, once in a while.
Author: Yami Yoshi[edit]
~Introbulus and Nijuka float amongst the regurgitated remains of Sharp, Dangerous Objects. A white aura Eerie-shaped surrounds Nijuka.~
Eerie: So…you’re Introbulus…
Introbulus: Eerie?!
Eerie: Yes, but not the Eerie you knew. I am Eerie I, the first ruler of the OG Universe. Your master was Eerie II, the traitor who destroyed me and sealed my soul in that chair for eons!
Introbulus: Why would he do that?
Eerie: Eons ago when the Velvet Monkey and his minions invaded R-Space, I had planned to erase the universe and start over with a clean slate. I mean, why waste the effort fighting when there is a simpler solution at hand? However, my servants wished to preserve their existence and one of them led a coup against me.
Introbulus: And that one servant was Eerie? Er…Eerie II?
Eerie: Yes.
Author 1: Okay, I’m already out of ideas. Someone continue from here.
Author: Golem[edit]
~Nijuka lunges at Introbulus, and Introbulus blocks with the Writer's Chair.~
Eerie: ~shakes his head~ My apologies, I misspoke. We metaphors, including Eerie II and the Writer's Chair, have been confused ever since Lupus used the infinity device to combine Q, R, and S Spaces.
~Introbulus continues to defend himself with the now personality-less chair.~
Introbulus: What?!
Eerie: This is going to be hard to explain... think of it this way. You know of three dimensions, right? Height, width, and depth. Now come up with a fourth dimension.
Introbulus: Time.
~Introbulus takes a swipe at Nijuka with the chair.~
Eerie: Come up with a fifth one, then. What is a fifth direction in which objects can exist?
Introbulus: ...I'm stumped.
Eerie: Exactly. The things people have come to know as God, Oversoul, Creator, and so on, are like fifth dimensional objects: utterly incomprehensible. For whatever reason the people of R-Space cannot comprehend the being, just like you are unable to comprehend a fifth dimension.
Introbulus: Okay??
Eerie: Now make an object that exists in five dimensions.
Introbulus: ...
~Introbulus blocks Nijuka.~
Eerie: Exactly. In Q-Space, the Oversoul could exist as it should. Without Q-Space, the Oversoul is confined to just metaphors for it. It's like asking someone who only can see three dimensions to make a five dimensional object. Eerie II, the Writer's Chair, and myself are all metaphors for this great Oversoul.
Introbulus: Gotcha.... So the insane chair stuff was just riff raff from being constricted to a metaphor?
Eerie: Yes.
~As Introbulus continues to battle Nijuka with the chair, Lupus plays around with Ritz and Yddet, and the OGers regroup around Yami's dead body.
Including BSD.~
BSD: Ugh... it worked, I got my old body back... ~grabs his head~ But the migraine--
GORE: You!! ~grabs BSD by the neck~
BSD: Woah woah woah, watch it there, friend! I'm not actually on the enemy's side!
GORE: What was that attack earlier?!
BSD: What attack?! Last thing I remember is being brought back to this body by the power of my sword... ~raises hilt with a missing blade~ What happened to my sword?!
Velvet Monkey: Look.
~Velvet Monkey is looking in a puddle of blood that he has cast magic on to show the battle between Introbulus and Nijuka.~
Velvet Monkey: They'll be fighting for eternity that way. We have a new metaphor.
GORE: Velvet Monkey! We have a traitor here!
VM: ~not turning away from the puddle~ He was being affected by the regression stone since it was his sword's blade. He had an evil past or something along those lines, right?
Author: Fred[edit]
VM: All bets are off, I'm afraid. Since Eerie I had been trapped in your space in the form of the Author's Chair, well, he's been pretty helpless. Obviously Nijuka was far too obsessed with power to understand the complications of the Chair, but I should have been more prepared.
GORE: I'm have no idea of what's going on. I don't think I like what you're saying, either.
VM: Something has come back, GORE. You cannot destroy that which has always been.
BSD: Listen, whoever the hell you are, TELL US IN ENGLISH WHAT'S GOING ON OR I'LL-
VM: Stab me?
(BSD notices the missing blade)
BSD: Whyyyy youuuu...
(GORE holds back BSD with one hand as he attempts to swipe and breathe flames at VM)
VM: Temper, temper.
GORE: Well, what's the deal? And where are the rest of the OGers?
VM: -Sigh- Everyone's got nothing but questions, today. I suppose I've had a surprise or two as well, so I suppose I can divulge a few tidbits.
BSD: Hurry up about it!
VM: I mean, I don't HAVE to, but... Oh, very well. The basic representation and ability of the initial creator, Eerie, was stored between the chair and stones, and has found it's way, minus the stone of modification, into Nijuka.
BSD: What the hell are you talking about-
GORE: So basically Nijuka's someone else and more powerful, and the stone can never reach him or we're screwed and we need to beat him up before then, which is probably not going to happen.
VM: An oversimplification, but it works.
BSD: Where are the other OGers, anyways?
GORE:...
BSD: No... NO! Who killed them? Those guys over there! It's gotta be those guys over there: Lupus is with them!
GORE: Shutup, they're going to hear you!
(MAHAL-While, with Lupus and the Generals)
Lupus: You guys are boring me. I've got things to do, ways to dance, and small countries to punish back on earth. Ta-ta... Wait, is this Yami Yoshi's corpse?
Ritz: YOW! I mean, yeah, boy.
Lupus: I think I'll take it home and make a mantle piece from it. You guys cool with me taking this stone wait too late ahhahahaha
(Lupus is picked up by a frisbeeing-saucer, which also scoops down and picks up MON-KILL's hand)
Yddet: Damn it! Why does this always-
(Yddet is stabbed in the back and ripped apart violently in the chest by a familiar spear)
Vlad: I'm back, baby.
(Yddet grabs the spear, pulls it through his stomach, and breaks it in half. He then turns around to crush Vlad, who is nowhere to be seen.)
Yddet: What the, what's-
Vlad: Inside you.
Yddet: Oh... oh no...
(Vlad sits within the gaping hole of Yddet's belly, and begins tearing out the stuffing, and then kicks out the sides. Yddet falls apart, still glaring maliciously at Vlad with unlimited hatred in his beady and poorly attached black eyes)
Ritz: Dayumn, braw, that's hella not on the jazz!
Vlad: It's finally over.
VM: On the contrary, it's only just begun.
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
Ritz: Shut up and fight me you quadrilaterals. (eats an apple and grows into a giant)
- BSD, Fusion, Saru, GORE, Velvet Monkey and Cerulea run from Ritz as he stomps the ground, causing tremors.*
Cerulea: Well that was completely unpredictable.
Golem: Your mom's a jock.
Velvet Monkey: (looks out window) I'll call when he comes near.
GORE: (looks sadly at hover bike) Flutter always wanted one of these... (makes sure Velvet Monkey is out of earshot) I don't think we should trust that monkey. He may be our doom.
Fusion: Come on, he's not that bad anymore. Even Saru's warmed up to him.
Saru: Eh.
GORE: No man, this reminds me of how the Party Goers met their end. They also made a deal with the devil.
BSD: You... remember?
GORE: I remember everything BSD, ever since the Party Goers told me back then. Slowly all my memories are returning. Now I remember when Shane had taken over the Earth and renamed it VGF. The Party Goers at first tried infiltrating their infrastructure with Seargent Flutter, but that plan was not working. They needed some drastic action if they were to stop Shane and discover the fate of their shorts-wearing friend...
Flashback:
*The Party Goers meet up in an abandoned amusement park.*
Golem: How's it going, Flutter?
Flutter: Bad news. I've been fired, and they've destroyed most of our OG records.
Masamune: Dammit, those were one of a kind!
Ditto: Now we're back to step one. How can we save the world from these unbeatable aliens?
???: I'm your answer.
*The Party Goers look over and see a grinning Australian emerging from the funhouse.*
???: The name's Turk Lupus the. Rearrange as necessary.
Fred: I move to and fro, swaying.
Lupus: Shut up, I haven't met you yet. (Fred vanishes) Anyway, I am head of the world's most powerful organization, and I am willing
to help you get these aliens off my flat planet.
Luigi: How do we know we can trust you? (Lupus gives him a wedgie)
Sapphire: Fine whatever, as long as this helps ends this stupid adventure faster.
Lupus: Excellent. Come with me and I can begin your training.
*Lupus walks into the funhouse. Slowly Golem, Sapphire, Masamune, Vorpal, Sapphire, Elzie, Luigi, Ditto, Flutter and GORE all walk in
after him. Each of them falls down a chute to a different training area. Golem winds up boxing with creepy clown robots, Sapphire
navigates maze of mirrors and trap doors, Masamune duels a mechanical vesion of Vorpal, Vorpal duels a mechanical version of Luigi,
Luigi has to duel a mechanical version of Bob Dole, Elzie has to keep herself from sinking into a ball pit, Flutter flies through
flaming rings and Ditto plays chess on a computer. GORE winds up in a room with Lupus.*
Lupus: Pleased to meet you, gorilla man.
GORE-ILLA: They call me GORE-ILLA.
Lupus: Now I can't possibly remember that, gorilla man.
GORE: Don't I have to undergo special training as well?
Lupus: No, not you my boy. I know everything about you already.
*GORE stops his story as Velvet Monkey scampers towards them.*
Velvet Monkey: Ritz is coming.
Saru: (survers the hover bikes) Then let's greet him.
*All the OGers ride out on hover bikes, fly at Ritz and start bombarding him with lasers. A spear gets stuck in Velvet Monkey's however and explodes. He falls down to the ground and finds himself facing Vlad.*
Velvet Monkey: What?
Vlad: No hard feelings, but the price on your head is too high to ignore.
Author: Golem[edit]
~Ritz deflects the lazers off of his supershiny suit. A laser hits Fusion's bike, and Fusion jumps off as it explodes, knocking the other hover bikes astray. Fusion, high in the sky from his jump, casts a paralyzation spell on Ritz. Saru leads the strayed hoverbikes back to Ritz and jumps off. The others take their cue from Saru, and the hover bikes collide with Ritz.
Pretty explosions.
GORE rushes back to Vlad and Velvet Monkey, and the others follow.~
Velvet Monkey: I can't believe I'm saying this, but HELP!
GORE: Hold up, I'm not sure we should.
Velvet Monkey: Says the chosen one!
GORE: ~snaps out of the blue dust trance~ Wh--what?! ~starts backing up~
VM: You haven't told them about the prophecy of you killing every one of your comrades yet?
BSD: You're obviously not very smart, Velvet Monkey, because we know GORE would never do something like that, and bringing that up just makes us think you're--
GORE: I--I--I'd never do something like that! You believe me, right?!
Fusion: Of course, we--
GORE: ~backs up some more~ Please! I would never!