The OnGoing Adventures of the GCPA Chapter 2

Chapters in The OnGoing Adventures of the GCPA

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Chapter Two: The Wrath of Cosby

Author: Lupine

It's been a week since the potato was destroyed, and for that whole week all Lupine would cook was potatoes. But suddenly. not known to any of the crew, one of the spuds that fell on the ship was starting to throb.

Scruffy: Lupine, get over here.

::Lupine runs in:: What?

Scruffy: Why does the potato move, and why is it becoming jello like?

Lupine: Hold on, what?

::Que Pasa, Krazy Dude, and Stampede run in::

Que Pasa: Guys, the sea no longer is salty water but we seem to be surrounded by pudding.

Lupine: Oh God no!!!!!!

::The potato jumps like a Mexican jumping bean and hits Stampede. The potato grows and becomes larger and larger, taking the form of...::

Lupine: Bill Cosby!

Bill: I'm back, bitches! Thought Gary was bad? I'm worse, with the puddin and the jello and the kids say the darndest things!

Scruffy: Attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::Lupine runs but trips over a raccoon:: Where the hell did that raccoon come from?

Stampede uses his flame thrower to burn the pudding encasing Cosby's body.

Stampede: Nothing like a good smoke!

But Cosby breaks through and hits him again with a jello potato.

Krazy Dude: Wait, I saw this on Family Guy! Dad I got a girl pregnant!

Cosby: We used to have a friend named Balloon Face, whenever ::rants::

Que Pasa shoots him with a cannon ball, but it goes through his body.

Lupine: Damn! Only one thing can beat him once and for all. The one person I had to get rid of to save the ship before from being eaten! I must get him out of his cage. I must free Salama!

How will it happen? Find out next time, or be mauled by a raccoon!

Author: That Krazy Dude

Lupine rushes for the cage containing Salama and as he fumbles for the key to the cage, the raccoon comes out and attacks him.

As Lupine is dealing with the demon raccoon, Stampede, Scruffy, Krazy Dude, and Que Pasa try and buy Lupine time by fending off Bill Cosby.

Stampede: Die, you demon of the jello puddin'.

Bill Cosby: Now you know you're going too far when you insult the jello, boy!

Krazy Dude: Take this, you bastard!

That Krazy Dude picks up a bucket of water and throws it at Bill's jello encasing. The shield absorbs the water.

Que Pasa: What the hell!? Nothing happened!

Scruffy: Of course nothing happened, you idiot! Once jello becomes jello, you can't change it back to a liquid!

Stampede: Damn it!

Meanwhile, Lupine battles the raccoon furiously.

Lupine: Bring it, you beast!

Raccoon: *growl*

Lupine: Oh yeah? That's why your mom's a whore!

Raccoon: *grrrr*

Lupine: Oh, so you had sex with my mom last night, huh? That's probably why your wife is so lonely. I should know. She told me that last night!

Raccoon: *growl*

The raccoon lunges at Lupine, but he dodges it and makes a pine cone through alchemy and throws it at the raccoon. It bounces off the raccoon, having no effect whatsoever.

Lupine: Damn! That's what I get for learning alchemy from Alchemy for Dummies!

The raccoon lunges at Lupine.

Lupine: TAKE THIS!!! YAAAA!!!

Lupine pokes the raccoon on the head, and it collapses.

Lupine: Guess I know what I'm serving for dinner tonight. Heh heh!

As Lupine continues heading for Salama's cage, the rest of the crew are continuing their battle against Bill Cosby in a clash of strange against pure evil!

To be continued...

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Lupine slowly crawls towards the cage.*

Lupine: Almost... there...

*Suddenly a giant gorilla slams down on him.*

Gorenicus: I don't think so!

Lupine: You! You're that evil gorilla pirate who keeps bothering us!

Gorenicus: I'm simply proving my superiority, you cheesecake-loving scum! And this next plan of mine is foolproof!

Lupine: What are you up to now you herpes-covered monkey?

Gorenicus: Quite simple- I will steal your fat man here and use him as an attraction in my crazy-ass circus! He'll make me millions!

Lupine: No, I can't let you do that! At least not when we need him!

Gorenicus: Well now I feel even better about taking him!

*Stampede and Scruffy spot Gorenicus as he kicks Lupine aside and grabs the cage. Stampede aims his rifle at Gorenicus.*

Stampede: I can take him down from here, Cap'n!

Scruffy: Hold your fire marksman. I'll fight him myself.

Stampede: ...Yessir.

*Suddenly a trail of pudding slinks onto the ship, wraps around Stampede's ankle, and then yanks him into the pudding ocean.*

Que Pasa: Stampede!

Cosby: He's trapped in the pudding ocean, as you all will soon be!

*More and more pudding slinks onto the ship and starts to drag the whole ship down.*

Krazy Dude: Leave this to me!

*The Krazy Dude grabs a wet mop and uses it to sweep away all the pudding.*

Que Pasa: You take care of that while the rest of us hold off Cosby! Wait... am I the only one left fighting him?

Jebus: (walks out of his cabin) Hey, did I miss anything?

Author: That Krazy Dude

Jebus: Que Pasa! What's going on, and what's happened to the crew?

Que Pasa: Well, Lupine and the Captain are dealing with that giant monkey...

Gorenicus: Ape!

Que Pasa: ...yeah what he said. Stampede is under an ocean of pudding, I'm protecting the crew from Bill Cosby and his jello pudding powers, Salama is being held hostage by the orangutan...

Gorenicus: Ape!

Que Pasa: Shut the hell up!

Jebus: What about That Krazy Dude?

Que Pasa: Oh yeah. He's mopping up the deck.

Jebus: Have no fear Que Pasa! I shall help you defeat this demon of the jello puddin'.

Bill Cosby: But you know you can't beat me with da jello puddin'.

Jebus: A normal man might not be able to beat you. But I am not a normal man. Prepare to be defeated by he who has the powers of God!

Bill Cosby: Bring it, boy!

Jebus: I challenge you to a battle...Dragonball Z style!

Bill Cosby: Die!

Bill Cosby launches a huge array of pudding pop missiles, but Jebus swiftly dodged each shot.

Jebus: Que Pasa! Distract Bill Cosby as I ready my ultimate attack!

Que Pasa: Can do!

Bill Cosby throws more pudding pop missiles at Que Pasa, but he catches them in his nose and fires them back at Bill.

...3 episodes later...

Jebus is still readying his attack. Que Pasa and Bill Cosby fell asleep an episode ago.

Jebus: Almost ready!

Bill Cosby (just waking up): What?

Jebus: Take this! Yaaa!!

Bill Cosby: Noooooo!

A huge flash goes off.

Meanwhile, the fight rages between Scruffy and Gorenicus.

Scruffy: Take this, you damn chimp!

Scruffy magically catches on fire and charges at Gorenicus.

Gorenicus: For the last time...I...am...an...APE!!!

Gorenicus flings his poop at Scruffy, but it only makes the fire stronger.

Scruffy: Haha! You idiot! Didn't you know that poop is combustible?!

Gorenicus: I live in a damn forest you dumb ass! We don't know what fire is, thanks to that damn Smokey the Bear!

Scruffy charges at Gorenicus again but slips on the wet floor that Krazy Dude had just mopped. The wet floor extinguishes Scruffy's bodily fire and he returns to his normal, not on fire form.

Scruffy: Damn it Krazy Dude! You shoulda warned me that the floor's slippery!

Krazy Dude: My bad.

Scruffy: Lupine! Transmutate something for me to fight with!

Lupine: Sorry sir. I'm being sued for copyright infringement.

Scruffy: Damn Japanese! I didn't think I had to resort to this, but I'm afraid I have to.

Scruffy opens up a portal to another world and pulls out a strange weapon that looks similar to a dagger. He throws it at Gorenicus and misses him.

Gorenicus: Ha! You idiot! You get a weapon and waste it just like that? pathetic!

Lupine: Sir! What are we gonna do now?

Scruffy: Make me a sandwich!

Lupine: A sandwich? Why would you need a sandwich?

Scruffy: Just do it!

Lupine: Okay. Luckily for me, I always carry around a spare sandwich. Here.

Lupine hands the sandwich to Scruffy, and he throws it at Gorenicus. The sandwich catches Gorenicus square in the face.

Lupine: A direct hit, but what was the point sir?

Scruffy: Just watch.

From behind Gorenicus comes Salama. Salama swallows him whole, sandwich and all.

Salama: Mmmm. Sandwiches are good.

Lupine: Salama! Where'd you come from?

Lupine looks at the cage to see that the lock had been broken by Scruffy's dagger.

Lupine: Ohhhh! I get it!

Scruffy: Come along, Salama. The time has come for you to assist us.

Salama: Okay!

Scruffy, Lupine, and Salama rush for the place where Jebus and Que Pasa were battling Bill Cosby. They arrive to be blinded by a giant flash. When everything is visible again, all the pudding is gone.

Bill: What the? Nooo! My jello pudding! Why!?

Jebus: Ha! Your attacks are futile without the use of the jello!

Bill: You bastard! Now you shall feel the wrath of my Bacon Burger Dogs as mentioned on the Cosby Show, every night on Nick at Nite!

Bill Cosby summons a huge pile of Bacon Burger Dogs. The pile floats over his head as he readies his attack.

Bill: Now you shall all pay!

Stampede: Not if I have anything to do with it!

A bullet comes flying and hits Bill in the knee.

Bill: Ow!

He grabs his knee in pain, and all the Bacon Burger Dogs come crashing down on top of him.

Lupine: Salama! This is your chance! Eat, Salama, eat!

Salama eats the pile of bacon burger dogs with Bill Cosby in it.

Scruffy: Yes! We have done it! Bill Cosby is no more!

Stampede: Where's That Krazy Dude?

Everyone looks over to see a pile of janitor supplies with Krazy Dude sleeping in it.

Krazy Dude (waking up): Huh? What did I miss?

Lupine: Haha! That's our Krazy Dude!

*hear random audience laughing in background*

Chapters in The OnGoing Adventures of the GCPA

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7