WarioFan Mind Control OG Page 2
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Author: The Kirby of Death[edit]
Jed: Okay, I just realized I'm a human in this thing, so I don't have a scythe, which is inconvenient for fending off a sword. However, that makes me a bishie right now. *turns at winks at the group and causes Sheik and Vivid to swoon. Rocky, too*
Rocky: ...Hey, wait, why am I the butt of a gay joke?
Jed: 'Cause. Anyway, having no scythe is irrelevant, since I just so happen to be carrying my officially licensed Connor MacLeod katana from Highlander! *holds it up unsheathed above his head while Princes of the Universe plays*
Heeeere we are, booorn to be kiiiings
We're the Princes of the Univerrrse
Heeeere we belong. *SNARE-DRUM!*
FIGHTING to survive in a war with the darrrrkest powerrrrr
*Key-board Key-board Key-board Key-board Key-board Key-board Key-board Key-board*
Hey-eah!
Jed: *lowers it back down and looks at it* Yeah, badass... Anyway, have at you!
WF: I thought we were friends! ...And you're the one who gave this to me, anyway!
Jed: Oh, bugger, um... well... uh, have at you! *Has at WF*
*The two start exchanging blows with their respective swords while WF somehow uses his Wii Balance Board as a shield without getting his fingers hit. The rest of the group watch in awe since they both look super badass while doing so, I promise.
WF: *still sword-fighting* I don't understand, Kirby, why aren't you on my side? Like I said, YOU'RE the one that helped me find this.
Jed: *also still sword-fighting* Yeah, but I thought it was gonna be pretty innocent and you'd just make us all do little random stupid stuff like agree with you and then you'd get bored after a while, but it just got WAY outta hand.
WF: Very well, then I guess I'll just have to take you out! *flings Jed's katana away and almost hits Golem in the face as it sinks into one of the train car's walls*
Golem: :shock:
WF: I'm sorry, Kirby, but I have to kill all Geeks and Otakus in order for Nintendo to release a bunch of games on Virtual Console.
Sheik: Butbut... I'M a Geek and/or Otaku ;_;
WF: *pauses* ...You're right, I can't do this.
Timnis: That's right, killing Geeks and Otakus is wack, man.
WF: Thank you, Timnis. I won't get all those games they promised on Virtual Console, but... maybe... just maybe they'll still get rated on the ESRB website and someday come to Virtual Console anyway...
Agent Reggie appearing in WF's VB2: Wrong, Wariofan, very wrong.
WF: Agent Reggie?!
Agent Reggie: Yes. Just in case you decided to go rogue, we installed a little something extra besides the Boss Lasers™ in your Virtual Boy 2.
WF: Built-in Virtual Boy titles?!
Agent Reggie: No.
WF: WHY, GOD?!
Agent Reggie: We installed a little mind-control device of our own to make sure our plans go as... planned. Now then, Wariofan, KILL THEM!
*WF stands at attention and then enters into a really, really badass fighting pose with his sword and Wii Balance Board that looked even more badass than any pose he previously entered into (nigh impossible, but it happened)*
Jed: Uh oh. That pose is the most badass pose I've seen him do yet. Something must be wrong. We have to like... go >.>
Sheik: But what about WF-kun?
Jed: Sheik, right now, he wants to kill you AND your DS.
Sheik: What?! *runs up to WF and kicks him in the nads* You BETTER not try to break this thing.
*WF collapses to the floor in pain*
Jed: Huh... nice job, Sheik. Onward!
Vivid: o.o;
Jed: Exactly.
*The group runs away from WF further and further back in the train, but not before Jed pries his katana from the wall and sheathes it*
Jed: Yeah, I'm not leaving $250 sticking to a wall.
Meanwhile, at Director's home.
Director: *at his computer* Wow, no one's on, this is dumb. Hm, I wonder where Vivid is *reads her away message: With the Gamehikers trying to stop WF from taking over the world XD?* Luckily I put a tracking device on the back of her neck. *pulls out his tracking scanner and straps on a jetpack* Awesome. *blasts off*
Author: Rocky[edit]
~Rocky suddenly stops after te group makes it into another passeger car~
Rocky: Hold on, if Jed looks like how he really looks like in this OG...That means that I....~Tears off costume to reveal a capeless version of his outfit~ That's right people. I'm that fashionable
~Rocky turns around to see a charging WF with his sword posed, Rocky slams the car doorin WF's face and his sword comes inches to Rocky's throat~
Rocky:.........o.o woah.....
Vivid: o.o; C'mon!
~Vivid grabs Rocky by the shirt and lifts him up. Rocky's sleeve gets caught on a small lever next to the door. Vivid throws Rocky down the length of the train car which activates the lever. A loud rumbling sound from the front of the train is heard and WF bursts through he door frantically screaming. The others dive into the passanger seats and WF runs right past them~
Jed: He didn't see us >.>
Greg: Do you guys hear that?
~The others lift their heads slowly over the seats toward the rumbling noise. Suddenly a gant boulder crashes through the broken door (complete with Indiana Jones music)~
Vivid: o.o;
Sheik: o.o;
Jed: o.o;
Golem: :shock: ........I mean o.o;
~The group race down the train car. They catch up to Rocky who's head is stuck in a seat. Vivid frees Rocky and keeps running~
Sheik: This doesn't even make sense!
Rocky: Neither does your face!
~Sheik's glasses glare as she drops a needle behind her. Rocky steps on it and holds his foot in agony. The boulder then crushes Rocky as it sticks to the rock like a piece of chewed gum~
Author: Director[edit]
ELSEWHERE~
Director at the arcade: 10 am
You walk up to a change machine, what wil l you do?
/Insert bill
The bill enters the machine, and instead of change SCORPIONS POP OUT!
what will you do
/run away crying
You exit the building like a sissy little girl nerd, you walk past the batting cages, where a man starts taunting your purple complexion
What do you do
/get flask
What
/get goblet
Error
/get CUP
You grab a cup from a nearby pedestal, and smash the mans skull into brain fragments. What do you do?
/loot body
He is carrying swome bubble gum, trading cards, and two bags of illegal narcotics. What do you do
/Equip RAZOR sharp trading cards.
The police arrive on the scene weilding Magnums, you may exit via north, south or Nouth, what do you do
/exec nouth
HAH Nouth isnt a direction, Fatality.
GAME OVER
Director: This game sucks
- Dungeon master appears next to arcade machine*
Dungeon Master: DIRECTORRRR
Director: /run
Dungeon Master: Wha?
Director: WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?!
Dungeon Master: You must defeat some insane madman with a virtual boy 222222oooooOoOOoo
Director: Boring.
Dungeon Master: WITH THESE FIFTY SIDED DICEEEEEEeeeeOoo
Director: I'm in.
Author: Masamune[edit]
~Meanwhile, in the past~
Retro & Masa: SHRACKIN-A-GO-GO, BABY!
~there is a huge explosion as the two both transform into their superhero counterparts, which is basically what they normally look like~
Retro: Here comes the bomb!
Masamune: Time to use our VFX Powers!
~they both move in slow motion around the Bob-Omb, which goes past them and towards a car that was behind them...~
Luiigii: *driving the car... and crashes into the Bob-Omb, is thrown a hundred feet into a hospital*
Retro: Hwah! Hyah!
Masamune: Hoo! Huh!
Both: HIYAH!!
Retro: What now?
Masamune: We find out where the plot went. By MACH SPEEDING into the present!
~meanwhile~
Golem: It's catching up with us! Why didn't I take that running class when I could have!?
???: GOOOOOOORE ILLLAAAA PAAAAAUUUUNCH!!!!! *punches... Golem in the face, throwing him into the boulder and busting it into pieces*
Jed: We're saved! Wait, the real GORE can do that?
GORE-ILLA: Your mom can do that.
Jed: >.>
Greg: Oww... my everything...
Sheik: Wait. Is it Greg or Golem? I can't tell. He keeps switching.
KoD: What do you mean?
Sheik: ....
Vivid: Umm. Rocky is dead.
Golem: Not really. Give it a second...
Rocky: HAPPY NEXT MARIOROCKS! ... wait, I'm not supposed to do that! I wanted out of this crummy OG!
~Masamune and Retro suddenly step in~
Masamune: Except you're playing by MY rules!
Rocky: Nooooo!!!
Retro: Quick! WarioFan went this way! *points NORTH, no wait, SOUTH. WAIT BOTH*
Vivid: How can you tell? o_o;
Retro: Easily. By using my skills of deduction, I determined that the only possible way he could have-
Golem: Oh, they're releasing a Legendary Pokemon at the Toys R Us in that direction.
Retro: ... *sighs* Yes.
Masamune: So be it. Quick everyone... *narrows eyes* To the bus stop!
Author: Wariofan[edit]
*Meanwhile Vorpal is running swiftly down the street. Suddenly his Vorpmunicator starts playing a jingle. Which sounds suspiciously like a St. Elmo's Fire MIDI*
Vorpal: *pulling out Vorpmunicator* Whats the vorp?
Ditto: *is seen frantically typing* Vorpal! Ive determined that our buddies are in a nearby train, and that it will be arriving about 10 blocks north of your location in 10 minutes!
Voice in Background of Ditto: Hey, you remember what the boss said about slacking off while at work!
Ditto: Shhhhhhut up Earl!
Earl: I hope youve enjoyed having a 3-wall cubicle!
Vorpal: 10 minutes? Ill never make it there in time!
Ditto: Not to worry pal! Ive sent some things over your way now to help you get there faster!
Vorpal: Sweet! How will they be arriving!
Ditto: Via Carrier Pigeon!
Vorpal: Doh!
*5 minutes later, a carrier pigeon arrives with a whip and a fedora*
Vorpal: Oh neat, I guess.
Ditto: :-D
Vorpal: But now I only have 5 minutes left!
John Williams: *conducts orchestra to play a badass adventure-type theme*
*Vorpal whips a nearby stop light and swings from it in order to get ahead faster. Also accidently causing a crash at the intersection. Vorpal swings from a second stoplight and can see that the third one will get him closest to his goal.*
Ditto:*Shouting, because he somehow realizes he's in Vorpal's pocket* By the way! You might want to check up on Weegee at the hospital. Which youre conveinently right in front of if you take a right where youre at now.
Vorpal: Now how did you know that?
Ditto: I just went to the Forums and then read about it in Masa's post.
Vorpal: *looks around and sighs. Then looks up and gets an idea. He swings onto the stoplight. Like way up this time and hits something in the sky*
Director: OW! What in the-
*Somehow everything is worked out so that Director is holding onto Vorpal and his jetpac fuels them towards the hospital where they crash into a window. And suddenly back out again with a pale Luiigii in a hospital bed, somehow hanging on to this chain*
Luiigii: *coughing blood* I didnt need to be rescued you jerk!
*the group manages to burst into a window of the oncoming train*
Vorpal: Ill save the day!
Sir Richard Widebottom the 3rd: I say good fellows, what brings you to our little carriage. Up for a spot of tea what?
Vorpal:....
Director:....
Luiigii: Hey shouldnt I be attached to an IV?
*Vorpmunicator beeps*
Ditto: So it turns out theyre already off the train. Guess I got my info wrong! Sorry pal!
Vorpal: *shakes fist at Ditto*
Author: GORE-ILLA[edit]
GORE: What an assorted collection of real-life Gamehikers we have here.
Golem: Yeah well that's just-
GORE: (backhands Golem) I had to do that in my own post this time.
Retro: Yeah, whatever! Let's go and get Wariofan at that Toys R Us!
*At that Toys R Us...*
Wariofan: Those fools...
*Wariofan sits on a prop throne that he had moved to the game area, observing the Gamehikers through a live feed being watched via the Internet Channel, drinking from a shot glass.*
Wariofan: (snaps fingers) Raul, get me a refill of cherry soda! Now where was I... ah yes! Those fools think that they can possibly stop me? I, who have control over the minds, hearts and souls of everyone in their vicinity? Ha! And once this Mystery Gift transfer is complete, nothing will be able to stop me! (licks DS) HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!
*Elsewhere, everyone runs down the sidewalk of the avenue leading towards Toys R Us.*
Masamune: Right this way, losers! We might not have long!
*But after a few blocks, everyone's exhausted and sweating.*
Rocky: This heat...
Jed: And our poor exercise routines... >.>
Vivid: v.v
Golem: Nice arms, guys! I can dance too!
Sheik: Ah... Look! There!
*The group sees a store where various scooters are for sale.*
Retro: I don't think any of us have that kind of money...
GORE: Monkey? Who cares about money? (tosses Rocky through the display window) Everyone knows when a window's broken, everything's for free!
*Everyone rushes in and grabs a scooter... except Timnis.*
Jed: Hey Timnis, grab a ride.
Timnis: Not anymore...
*Close-up of Timnis's eyes looking intense.*
Timnis: I don't ride skateboards and scooters. Not ever.
*Flashback: Timnis rides his skateboard through the streets.*
Timnis: This is wiggin' out, man!
*Then, an explosion. End flashback.*
Retro: Fine. You want the rest of my free bacon, then?
Timnis: I don't eat breakfast. (zoom in on his eyes) Not ever.
*Flashback: Timnis walks into his home and finds the walls covered in syrup. He drops to his knees and begins screaming.*
Timnis: NO, NOT MY FAMILY! YOU MONSTERS!
*End flashback.*
Masamune: Whatever. Eat our dust, whatsyourface.
*The scooters zoom off while Timnis jogs behind.*
*Soon the Gamehikers near the Toys R Us, which lay at the bottom of the hill.*
Jed: Almost... there...
Sheik: We're gonna make it!
Vivid: (holds up plate while steering scooter) Anyone want brownies?
*Suddenly they pass over a special magnetic plate Wariofan had the Toys R Us employees plant; the scooters explode, and everyone is entrapped within a net that is pulled into the Toys R Us.*
Timnis: Oh great.
*One piece of scooter lands at Timnis's feat... but its only missing the handlebar. He takes a deep gulp, then steps onto the makeshift skateboard, kicks off, and... begins going down that hill.*
Timnis: I'M GONNA LIVE FOREVER!
Author: Kirby of Death[edit]
*Timnis is riding down the hill while "Escape from the City" from SA2 is playing and is pulling off totally sweet combos while doing so*
Timnis: Now I know what I missed about this: This is so not wack! *double 360 kickflips a small dog* Awesome.
*Timnis continues being f-in' awesome on a skateboard some more by 50-50 grinding a rail on the side of the road and then doing a triple nollie impossible into a nose manual on the ground again*
Timnis: This is so fly, I'm gonna skateboard anytime I can from now on and be happy for the rest of my l- *gets caught by the magnetic underground plate, the skateboard explodes and Timnis gets caught in a second net. Timnis is curled up in a ball inside the net and shaking* Why must life be so cruel... I'm never skateboarding again...
*Timnis's net is pulled inside of Toys 'R' Us like the others were and is alongside his comrades in front of WF and his crazy majesty*
WF: Ah, Timnis, glad I could... catch you at a good time! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Timnis: YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOOK AWAY MY NEW FOUND HAPPINESS! RAGH! *Timnis's net is obliterated by his rage alone and he leaps at WF in his prop throne and starts beating the shit out of him in a savage manner*
WF: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow, guards! ow ow ow ow ow, restrain ow him!
*Two guards come up behind Timnis and are about to pounce on him, but he's ready for them*
Timnis: *turns his head to the guards* Shizzle my nizzle, sons!
*The two guards fuckin' explode and their organs go everywhere*
WF: Uh ow ow ow oh ow.
*Eventually Timnis tires himself out and falls to the floor in exhaustion, but WF also slumps in his throne because he sort of got his ass handed to him by Timnis's raw fury*
Agent Reggie: *sigh* Damn skater rap punk. Oh well, we prepared for this; dispersing nano-machines.
*After being nano-machine'd, WF stands up and starts doing the robot, but then draws his master sword and wii balance board shield and then looks down at Timnis*
WF: *in roboticized WF voice* Ha ha ha. You've failed. I will kill you guys now. Especially since you're exhausted and the rest are tied up. It'll be easier than... oh who cares? I'm going to kill you now.
GORE: Remember me, dirtbag? *gives WF a GORE-ILLA PAUNCH!*
WF: *flies into his throne and knocks it over and then gets back up* What? But how? You were tied up.
Jed: I cut us out of the net with my awesome katana while Timnis kicked your ass. I also have sort of a higher respect for rap since apparently it can blow people up.
Timnis: T...tight... *passes out*
Author: Wariofan[edit]
*Meanwhile, outside the building*
Billamoto: Well things are getting really interesting. I think Im gonna pull up a chair and enjoy this.
???: Not so fast!
Billamoto: Its you!
???: Yes it is!
*black bar at the bottom of the screen shows that this NEWCOMER's name is*
Billwata: Ive finally found you! What were you doing leaving the company so suddenly?
Billamoto: Sorry boss, I got a little carried away in the human world.
Billwata: Well luckily your our best designer, but Im afraid I have an idea of what you were up to judging by that grin on your face.
Billamoto: Hey! Im always smiling!
Billwata: Regardless, youve been screwing with the Virtual Boy 2 again havent you?
Billamoto: Yeah...
Billwata: Why must you constantly be touching things from the Billmauchi Vault? That stuff is to be left alone and you know it!
Billamoto: Sorry boss. It was just a little fun!
Billwata: Still though, we're missing TWO Virtual Boy 2's from the vault....Im assuming one of them is in that store. Wheres the other one?
Billamoto: Oh I got bored and decided to attach it as a headpiece for a ROB. I call it ROB 2.
Billwata: Brilliant! Whatd you do with it? We could use a new product like this when we get back to Billtendo!
Billamoto: I made it self-aware, 10 feet tall and completely forgot about!
Billwata: ....
Billamoto: .....Oh crap
*10 foot ROB comes plowing out of the nearby forest*
ROB 2: I-AM-ROB. ROBOTIC-OPERATING-BUDDY. LOVE-ME.
*fires lasers everywhere*
Billwata: Oh boy, you are so fired when we get back...
Billamoto: But I got this great idea for Billmin 3!
Author: Golem[edit]
ROBOTIC OPERATING BULLY, MORE LIKE
~Back inside the store...~
WF: You're going to pay for that! And more than a dollar fifty this time!
~WF fires two missiles out of the VB2. GORE, Retro, Jed, Rocky, Sheik, Vivid, and Masamune leap out of the way. Golem, sitting on Timnis and playing DS, looks up at the last minute.~
Golem: Oh.
~The missiles explode, and nothing is left in their blast radius. It's entirely empty.
In the X dimension, Billtendo HQ...~
Golem: Hey Timnis, wake up. I think we're dead.
~Golem and Timnis are sitting on a desk.~
Billkondo: Get out of my office.
~Back in the Toys 'R' Us in our dimension...~
Agent Reggie: Game over, Hikers!
~GORE leaps at WF from behind, preparing a punch.~
GORE: I've got another quar--
~WF spins around and grabs GORE's wrist. While WF is turned around, Rocky dashes up to him.~
Rocky: I'll use my contin--
~WF spins around again, hurling GORE into Rocky. Retro, on top of the ruins of WF's throne, leaps down from it.~
Retro: You miscounted our total number of lives!
~Retro's foot makes contact with the Virtual Boy 2, but it is neither knocked off of WF's head nor is it damaged at all.~
Retro: Holy shnikes.
Masamune: We need a different plan!
Sheik: Allow me.
~Sheik walks towards WF. No one else moves, and WF himself even pauses. Sheik reaches WF and grabs his arm.~
Sheik: WF, are you really going to kill all geeks and otakus?
WF: ~ultra robotic voice~ Yes. I will ter mi nate all geeks and o ta kus.
Sheik: ~grabs WF's arm tighter~ But... I'M a geek and/or otaku.
WF: . . .
Sheik: Shall I join you?
WF: Since when do you say "shall"?
Sheik: ~jams her heel into WF's foot~
WF: ~herm~ I mean ~robotic voice~ sounds good.
Rocky: What kind of negotiation was that?!
Sheik: Well, um... I get to live. ;)
~WF and Sheik converse while WF fights off the good guys with his VB2-granted powers (and Sheik helps out some, too).~
WF: I just had a great idea for the next WFC.
Sheik: Oh?
to be continued...
~Place: Outside. Time: At the start of this post.~
Vorpal: Here we a--whoa! It's the limited edition 10 foot tall ROB!
Ditto: ~over vorpmunicator~ I don't think there was a 10 foot tall ROB, Vorp. Be careful, it sounds suspicious.
Vorpal: Oh, come on, Ditto, don't be such a drag. It's only firing lasers everywhere.
Director: leave this to me guys we had something like this loose on the studio once and i learned how to disassemble robots just gimme cover
Vorpal: You got it, Director!
Luiigii: Hey. Ditto. Psst. Get me to a hospital.
to be continued...
~Up in the sky, with the other two Billtendo demons, Billkondo shows up...~
Billkondo: Hey guys. ~holds up cage with an unconscious Golem and Timnis inside~ These two showed up in my office along with some random crap from a toy store. Uh, what do I do with them?
to be continued...
Author: Wariofan[edit]
*meanwhile overlooking the action inside the store*
Agent Reggie: Excellent, all is going according to plan
Agent Bilderhorff: Sir, Agent Trinen has completed work on The Project.
Agent Reggie: Marvelous! Lead me to him!
Agent Bilderhoff: Sir he's....we're in one open space....you can....you can just turn around
Agent Reggie: *does so* Brilliant! I smell Promotions in it for you Agent Bilderhoff! Now, Agent Trinen, the project?
Agent Trinen: Yes sir! *unveils tarp*
Agent Reggie: Holy cow! You invented a tarp!
Agent Trinen: Wha-No! Sir, its under the tarp! *unveils whats under the tarp*
Agent Reggie: Is that...a robot?
Agent Trinen: An android sir. Its set to reflect Ninendo Support should WF eventually fail. I call it ...
Android Getting Everyone Not To Hate NINTENDOModel no. 66
Agent Trinen: Or AGENTH NINTENDO 66 for short.
Agent Reggie: AGENTH...?
Agent Trinen: Yes sir! Andriod Getting Every-
Agent Reggie: You fool! *slaps Agent Trinen with his master hand* Agenth isnt a word! Agent Nintendo...now that rolls right off the tongue!
Agent Trinen: Um....yes sir...sorry sir......*types something in a computer* now.....can we put on a demonstration?
Agent Reggie: I like shows!
Agent Trinen: *clears throat* Agent Nintendo 66! Say Hello to Reggie!
agentnintendo66: Hello to Reggie!
Agent Reggie: *raises an eyebrow*
Agent Trinen: *ahem* Agent Nintendo 66! Imitate Reggie!
agentnintendo66: What were we talking about again?
Agent Reggie: *about furious*
Agent Trinen: No wait I can get this....Agent Nintendo 66! Ask Reggie a Question!
agentnintendo66: They are not available right now, would you like to wait?
Agent Reggie: Thats it! Ill ask the questions! *shows switchblade at Agent Nintendo* Will you stand still so I can stab you?
agentnintendo66: ...
Agent Trinen: *whispers* You have to say his name first
Agent Reggie: *groans* Agent Nintendo! Will you stand still so I can stab you?
agentnintendo66: ....
Agent Trinen: *whispers* Even the numbers*
Agent Reggie: *slaps Agent Trinen with his crazy hand* Agent Nintendo 66! Will you stand still so I can stab you?
agentnintendo66: Let me think it over. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
*Agents Bilderhoff and Trinen burst out laughing and Reggie cracks a smile*
Agent Reggie: *slowly putting away switchblade* Acceptable...next up....Agent Nintendo 66! Whats your favorite game?
agentnintendo66: Whatever your favorite game is Agent Reggie!
Agent Reggie: *impressed* A Donkey Kong 3 fan I see! All right All right...Agent Nintendo 66! Act like WF!
agentnintendo66: YOUR OPINION IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD
Agent Reggie: He's perfect! Well except for the few kinks...
Agent Trinen: Oh those can be easily fixed by programming new functions into his memory in fact-
Agent Reggie: You bore me Agent Trinen. But I digress, its time to celebrate! Bilderhoff! Trinen! Formation Epsilon Beta Alpha!
*The 3 group together in an oddly familiar formation as Video Killed the Radio Star plays in the background*
Agent Reggie: And turn and pivot and pose and shake and sway and pivot and kick and close with a-
???: Agents! Come in!
*everyone stops and turns to the big supercomputer in the room with a picture of their leader on screen*
Agent Reggie: *nervous* Commander Howard! What a surprise!
Author: Kirby of Death[edit]
Commander Howard: Agents! How goes Operation Otakill?
Agent Reggie: Swimmingly, sir. Wariofan has the Gamehikers right where he wants them.
Commander Howard: Excellent. ...Why do you look so nervous, then?
Agent Reggie: You just caught me off-guard is all. I didn't want to stumble in front of you during our dance.
Commander Howard: Ah, very good. Well, that's all; see ya. *screen goes black*
Agent Reggie: Whew...
Agent Trinen: What's wrong, sir? You were in no danger of stumbling at all due to your perfect posture you always have.
Agent Reggie: I wasn't nervous about stumbling. Right before Commander Howard came on, I noticed Wariofan recruited... a geek and/or otaku.
Agent Trinen and/or Bilderhoff: *gasp*
Agent Reggie: Exactly. I'll need to take care of this.
*meanwhile, at the Toys 'R' Us*
Wariofan (still robot-voicey): So then I pan to Generic Angry Punk and he complains about something. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Sheik: Hehehehe. Oh, Wariofan, you've gotten so much more witty.
Wariofan: It's mostly the nanomachines, but mostly my awesomeness.
Agent Reggie in WF's visor: WARIOFAN! What are you doing not killing a geek and/or otaku?! And what's more, you've recruited her!
Wariofan: She'll be a valuable asset to the operation. I should know since I'm right.
Sheik: *nod* ^_^
Agent Reggie: How do I know she won't try to remain loyal to her geek and/or otaku roots? How do I know she won't 100% submit to my will?
Sheik: Well... do you worship Satan?
Agent Reggie: I've been known to dabble, yes.
Sheik: OMG. I will totally bend to your will!
Agent Reggie: Oh... Excellent! Alright, stop wasting time. It's time to finish off the remaining geeks and/or otakus that are the Gamehikers.
Wariofan: Sir, how do you know they're the Gamehikers?
Agent Reggie: 'Cause... we explored your mind or something... just kill. *disappears from visor*
Wariofan: Well, you heard him. Time to do some killing. You should consider yourself lucky since I'll be the one killing you and- *notices the Gamehikers have gathered at the main entrance*
Masa: *wrestles with the lock* Grah! This lock must be made of Kryptonite!
Retro: That... that doesn't make any sense.
Masa: *backhands Retro* Quiet, you. I'll decide what makes sense and what doesn't. GORE, use your GORE-ILLA PAUNCH on it.
GORE: *sigh* There must be something else I'm capable of doing... something... *looks up* out there... *a musical interlude begins playing*
Masa: No there's not *record needle scratching* Now use that fist of yours on that lock's face.
GORE: ...It's my destiny. *does a GORE-ILLA PAUNCH! and... it works!*
*The Gamehikers escape to the outside where some other crazy happenings are happening. On the plus side, they meet up with Vorpal and Luiigii*
Vorpal: Oh, hey, it's you guys. How've you been?
Masa: We've been in a death match with Wariofan and that... Sheik girl now, I guess. ...What are you guys up to?
Vorpal: Watching Director dismantle the ROB.
Luiigii: DYIN-
Vorpal: He's almost got it.
Ditto: What's going on? I hear other voices.
*meanwhile, several yards in front of the group*
ROB2: Can't reach human with arms. They can only bend horizontally.
Director: *on the back of ROB2's head* The only flaw in your design. Luckily for me, it's your most crucial flaw. Prepare to be dismantled! *cuts some wires and stuff and then hops off of him*
ROB2: I wish I had a soul. *explodes*
Vorpal: ...Jeez, Director, I thought you were just gonna disassemble him.
Director: That was supposed to. Crazy Japanese and their technology.
Rocky: Well, the world is safe from ROB-related horror. Let's go home, guys.
Retro: ...Damn it, Rocky.
Rocky: What?
Retro: *turns Rocky's head for him towards the Toys 'R' Us* Remember that?
*The Toys 'R' Us is now on fire and walking dramatically slowly towards the group is WF with Sheik tagging along behind him*
Wariofan: Leaving while someone is taking to you is rude. Prepare to be taught manners. *The VB2 morphs into a giant friggin' plasma cannon that's about the size of a car*
Vivid: Omg
Retro: What? You realize we're gonna die a horrible death after living short lives?
Vivid: No, I'm just surprised his body to hold that cannon up o.o
Retro: Oh... yeah, that is pretty surprising.
Wariofan: I don't blame you for being in awe of myself, but I can get the whole world to do that. Powering up cannon.
Jed: *sigh* ...damn the Patriots...
Wariofan: Wh...what?
Jed: Damn the Patriots. Remember, from MGS2? You and your friends from AG started using it as a general exclamation. I... I just wanted to say it once before I died >.>
Wariofan: MGS2... Solidus Snake... tentacles... AG... uh... memories. My friends!
Jed: Gasp, that somehow triggered the true WF inside.
Masa: Don't state the obvious, KoD. We're not in an anime.
Jed: Sorry.
*WF starts gripping the VB2 and struggles to take it off*
WF with like... half human/half robot voice so it sounds all distorted: I... I can break these cuffs...
Director: WF's gone delusional and thinks he's handcuffed! Quick, shoot him!
Jed: No no! He's spouting an internet meme... like... like a geek and/or otaku!
Gamehikers: *gasp*
Agent Reggie back on screen: NO! You can't break those cuffs! ...I mean, you can't break that VB2!
WF: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*Finally WF breaks free from the VB2's vice-grip and throws it to the ground*
WF: I know you're a first party Nintendo product, but... I must destroy you! *raises his foot in epic grandeur and brings it down full-force on the VB2*
*The VB2 is crushed, but proceeds to explode, also in epic grandeur, and throws WF several yards back. The group rushes over to where he landed. Well... not really rushed, but kinda walked over there outta curiosity*
Jed: ...You okay, WF?
WF: *hops to his feet* Of course I am! I have my officially licensed pair of Nintendo tennis shoes! Guaranteed to withstand the force of any explosion!
*Everyone takes part in a group laugh, but then stop abruptly*
Masa: Hey wait, you tried to kill us, Sheik!
Sheik: nani? o.o;
Retro: What should we do with her, Masa?
Masa: Well, since not only did she betray us all, but is also a woman... we're gonna go medieval on her ass.
Sheik: Must... find... corner... to... cry... in ;_;
*Back to the Bills*
Billwata: You can't keep those things. It's against company policy! Set them back out into the wild.
Billkondo: Alright. *descends to the ground, opens the cage and shakes Golem and Timnis out* There, be free.
*Golem and Timnis scurry away*
Billamoto: Well, this sucks; there goes my fun.
Billwata: You also lost both of the VB2s.
Billamoto: No... I lost ONE of the VBs. *floats down to the ROB2 wreckage and picks up... a VB2! fully intact*
Billwata: Oh, good.
Billamoto: Yeah.
*Back at Nintendo HQ*
Agent Reggie: DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!
Agent Bilderhoff: Sir, what do we do? We lost both Wariofan AND the VB2. The nanomachines also stopped working since they were sorta linked to the VB2.
Agent Reggie: *breathes heavily, then sighs* It's alright... We prepared for this, remember? We still have AGENT NINTENDO 66! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Agent Trinen: Shall I send him after them, sir?
Agent Reggie: No. We wait. Until the sequel.
Agent Trinen: Then... what do we do till then, sir?
Agent Reggie: ...Agent Nintendo 66!
Agent Nintendo 66: Yes?
Agent Reggie: Agent Nintendo 66... imitate Reggie.
Agent Nintendo 66: I kick ass AND take names!
Agent Reggie: Good... Good...
THE END!
Author: Glem Bridges[edit]
I'm not using AIM, so HA my comments go right in the OG.
That was cool, cheezy in a way that fit the OG. Pretty neatly tied up everything.
Is someone else planning on starting a sequel?