GCPA Sidequests Part 3

Anthologies of GCPA Sidequests

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

Canadian Detour- Featuring Lupine's Owl, Aeolus

by Scruffy, Que Pasa, Lupine, Stampede, That Krazy Dude and Lupine on September 9, 2005

*Stampede has a gun pointed at Nemo, but withdraws it.*

Stampede: Eh...I'll kill you later.

Nemo: Okay, good!

That Krazy Dude: *then shoots Nemo*

Lupine: I have a hawk now, a vicious one that enjoys eating various parts of Nemo!

Scruffy: Follow me!!!!!! (walks off ship)

That Krazy Dude: Fuck yo hawk!

Que Pasa: Where are we off to today, Cap'n?

Lupine: Me= 12-1000

Scruffy: Hmm, let me see.. (sinks)

Que Pasa: *follows Scruffy off the ship, is carried away by a shark*

Lupine: Yes.

That Krazy Dude: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh????????

Scruffy: Scruffy.....glug glug.......can't....glug.......swim.......glug glug glug

Nemo: Eh what the heck? *shoots himself in the head*

That Krazy Dude: I'll save you captain! *jumps in the opposite direction*

Scruffy: Hel....glug glug...p (floats to bottom to see Titanic, Ricky Martin, Atlantis, and the Power Rangers) AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Stampede: *DOES THE SMART THING BY SHOOTING LIFE PRESERVERS TO THEM*

Lupine: :: kicks them away and then kicks Stampede:: Let's bet money and see how long they last, or until they notice the water is only 5 inches.

Nemo: Hey, let's go on an adventure where I die horribly!

That Krazy Dude: *grabs life preserver and goes back onto land*

Scruffy: (throws Nemo at Power Rangers)

Nemo: No, not them! Aaaaah!

*The shark is grabbed and has its head beaten off by... Henry Winkler!*

Lupine: I bet 1000 on 5 hours!

Stampede: *THROWS LUPINE OVER CAUSE HE WAS GAY AND KICKED ME*

Lupine: (grabs on) You bastard. Today we end this rivalry! Aelous! (an owl appears)

Scruffy: Hey......I just noticed something. We're in a puddle.

*The crew goes back on land.*

That Krazy Dude: Potato?

Que Pasa: *shoves Lupine at Winkler and swims away*

Scruffy: (shoots bird) I got our next dinner! Chef, cook!

That Krazy Dude: Yay!!

Que Pasa: Potato? By Din you're right!

That Krazy Dude: No, by Don. Don King.

Lupine: :: grabs aeolus and flies off ship but the bird can't make it:: Aeolus!

*A giant sea potato roars towards the crew OMG NOSTALGIA*

Lupine: Noooooooooooooooooooooo! :: casts Aero on him::

That Krazy Dude: No!

Nemo: What does Jupiter have on it, bananas?

Stampede: *SHOOTS MARKO--I MEAN LUPINE'S---STUPID HAWK*

Lupine: Fuck you! :: grabs sword and blocks gun in true Vicious vs. Spike style::

That Krazy Dude: Nemo's trying to take my lines, dammit! I'm the random guy!

Nemo: But I am the dead dude!

Que Pasa: Then die!

That Krazy Dude: Are you trying to be Lupine who's trying to be me?

Scruffy: Damn, bird, I said stay down !(shoots it wit a 0.30mm armor piercing chaingun)

Stampede: Shut up Lupine, I already shot your damn bird, and I got its left wing! So get over it!

Lupine: No.

Nemo: Okay. *jumps off Empire State Building*

Lupine: ::points to Nemo::

Stampede: And cook that damn wing! I need food!

Scruffy: I got its torso! Who wants the head?

That Krazy Dude: Haha, you said head!

Que Pasa : The potato got the rest.

Lupine: Fuck you all! Fountis!

Scruffy: The bird had it coming.

Stampede: Hey, how did Nemo get on the Empire State Building, aren't we in Jersey? Or some other planet?

Nemo: It's simple really.. *collapes* Pichachew.

That Krazy Dude: No we're in Canada.

Lupine: :: a large barricuda comes:: Fountis = Latin for water. Barricuda = Fountis.

Scruffy: Stop speaking German, speak English!

Stampede: I never know where they are....*BOWS HEAD IN SHAME*

*Gary Coleman pulls the cap'n into the potato and escapes laughing maniacally*

Lupine: Fuck not again!

That Krazy Dude: CAPTAIN NOOO!!!!

Que Pasa: NO CAP'N!!!!

Lupine: Aeolus 2 who will be Aeolus One, follow!

That Krazy Dude: Aeolus is gay.

Lupine: Like your mom!

Nemo: Like its master!

That Krazy Dude: And Aeolus is starting to get old on his first day.

Scruffy: And god damn, not you again! (plants a mine in Gary Coleman, shoves Coleman in potato, and jumps off)

Que Pasa: Aw man, no rescue misson?

Lupine: I'm over using him, ehh fine.

That Krazy Dude: Yes you are.

Lupine: I got a job we all can like, him attacking Nemo.

That Krazy Dude: CAP'N'S SAFE!!!

Lupine: Now go!

Nemo: Lupine no.

That Krazy Dude: Anyway! Going on with the story...

::Nemo and bird disappear below deck::

Lupine: Yes, where are we?

Que Pasa: Somewhere.

*The GCPA find themselves wandering around Canada.*

Nemo: In your mom's house lol

Que Pasa: That's just about it. Canada sucks.

That Krazy Dude: Good point.

Scruffy: Nintendo World.

That Krazy Dude: Ah ha!

Nemo: Wait, Nintendo World?

That Krazy Dude: can we go to the Museum of Mario?

Scruffy: Sure!

Nemo: Yaaa! *gets stomped by Mario*

Que Pasa: Instead of the navy we have to watch our for... THE MOUNTIES!!!

That Krazy Dude: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Not the mounties!!!

*Scruffy faints.*

Que Pasa: Now we must go on without our Cap'n.

That Krazy Dude: It's impossible!!!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*The Mounties arrive.*

That Krazy Dude: The cursed Canadians!

Lupine: Fuck!

Stampede: DIDN'T THIS STUPID STORY HAPPEN ALREADY!?!?!? *SHOOTS NEMO IN EYE*

Nemo: I have no eyes, Lupine's stupid bird ate them.

Stampede: FINE, I'll shoot the rest of your fucking face!

Nemo: Yaaaah!

Stampede: *PULLS OUT FULL-AUTO M4*

Nemo: Crap! *explodes*

That Krazy Dude: Yay!

Mounty Captain: ROBOTS IN DISGUISE EH (They all transform into fighting robots)

*Mounties look around at the bickering crew in confusion. One of the Mounties puts a handcuff around Nemo's ashes.*

Nemo: No, what will we do?

Lupine: I know! By my calculations they have one weakness.

Nemo: My laugh. No.

Lupine: ::kicks one on the nuts and throws a jar of pickled ducks at one::

That Krazy Dude: *reaches into pocket* Oh hey, I found my lightsaber!

*The Mounties go up in an atomic explosion*

That Krazy Dude: Time to go Star Wars on these Canadians!

Lupine: Too late!

That Krazy Dude: Awwww! :-(

Lupine: Pickled duck always works! In fact, it's tonight's meal.

*But the Mountie Cap'n emerges from the flames and transforms into a mechanical gorilla*

Nemo: Dammmit i was caught in the explosion!

Lupine: Shit!

That Krazy Dude: Gorilla!?!?! ? !

Lupine: Well-

That Krazy Dude: ?

Lupine: Um-

That Krazy Dude: !

Lupine: I won't run!

Que Pasa: He's from Beast Wars.

That Krazy Dude: Bring it!!!!!

Lupine: :: gets in stance::

Nemo: *Lupine flees*

That Krazy Dude: Where'd Stampede go?

Lupine: Let's do this!!!!! Nemo, don't compare me with you. I won't run ever.

Nemo: Of course not.

That Krazy Dude: Why don't you two stop bitching to each other and fuckin fight?

Nemo: Okay, okay!

Lupine: Fine!

*The Mounty Captain charges forward and starts slapping random pirates around with bacon WHICH IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING ELSE IN CANADA.*

Mounty Captain: WHAT NOW EH

Lupine: :: kicks the gorilla in the face but breaks foot and then jumps around::

Nemo: *lets out screaming laugh*

That Krazy Dude: Hmmm... *stares from lightsaber to mop*

Nemo: *stuns him* Attack!

::Gorillaz run in::

That Krazy Dude: *arms his mop*

Lupine: We've handled worse!

Stampede: *LEAVES*

That Krazy Dude: STAMPEDE NOOOO!!!!!!

Que Pasa: *grabs a maple tree, fires it from the nose cannon at the Mounty Captain, covering him in syrup that slows him down*

That Krazy Dude: We've lost our cap'n and our marksman!

Lupine :: attacks the Gorillaz but hits Nemo killing him....again then leaves::

That Krazy Dude: *smacks the Cap'n Mounty with his mop*

Lupine: I must summon, a thing I said I will never do.

Nemo: What the fuck? Lupine, you are always the first to kill me.

Lupine: I know, it never gets old!

Que Pasa: We can do this! We just have to BE- *smacked to Mexico*

That Krazy Dude: NO FIRST MATE!!!!!!!

Lupine: We are fucked.

That Krazy Dude: It's me and these two sissies! Noooo!!!!!1

Nemo: Fuck you!

Lupine: But come on, we can do it! We have to find our fire! :: gorilla lights him on fire::

That Krazy Dude: This is it!!!

Nem: *tries laugh again*

Que Pasa: *completely forgets about everything and starts hanging out with Mexicans*

That Krazy Dude: (runs toward the Mounty with his mop and starts smacking him constantly)

Nemo: *starts totalk about random stuff in annoying fashion*

*The Mounty cries, turns into a car and drives away*

That Krazy Dude: Yay! Now we must find our first mate

Lupine: ::still on fire::

Nemo: Come on! Hop in my car! We'll pick him up.

That Krazy Dude: Yay! To Mexico we shall go! ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!

Nemo: Woohoo!

Lupine: ::left behind on fire::

Nemo: I get to drive! I think we forgot something... oh yeah Lupine!

That Krazy Dude: *throws water on Lupine and grabs him by collar of shirt and throws him into car*

Nemo: Let's go!

Lupine: ::in ball:: The tacos, oh the tacos!

*Que Pasa sneaks across the American border with his new friends- Ramone and Frederico*

Que Pasa: I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU

Ramone: We'll be right here (puts a finger to Que Pasa's heart)

*Ramone and Frederico leave on a spaceship while Que Pasa waves goodbye. The car then drives up to Que Pasa.*

Nemo: Hello there! You ready, Que Pasa?

Que Pasa: *hit by the car*

Nemo: Sorry, that was my fault! You okay?

That Krazy Dude: *hops out of car and carries Que Pasa into the car* SHOTGUN!

Que Pasa: *unconcious and bleeding severly*

That Krazy Dude: *gets smacked in the back of the head by a shotgun*

Que Pasa: *beats Nemo with Krazy Dude's shotgun in his sleep*

Lupine: :still in trunk::

That Krazy Dude: (misses and hits Elvis)

Nemo: I still get to drive!

Lupine: Can someone let me out? The commies took my hat and Nemo's virginity.

That Krazy Dude: Oooooooooh!

Nemo: No they didn't, it was just a friendly visit!

Lupine: ...... The commies raped Nemo!

That Krazy Dude: So what now?

Nemo: No, we go to..... Jupiter.

*"Que Pasa" comes out of the bathroom and into the car*

Que Pasa: Whattup guys

Lupine: :: screams from trunk of car into a mike and then sings that Doo Waa Diddy song::

Nemo: Okay, where to?

That Krazy Dude: *sticks Wally in the trunk*

Nemo: Tear him apart

*They get into the car and drive into the sunset. Chessy music plays, sombreros magically appear on their heads and a bottle of tequila appears in Krazy Dude's hand.*

That Krazy Dude: Cool!

Nemo: Nice.

*"Que Pasa"'s eyes grow red as he transforms into the mounty. Mexican music starts to play.*

That Krazy Dude: NOOOO!!!!!!

Nemo: No!

Mounty: Didn't think it was that easy eh?

Nemo: Damn it, I was driving!

*Real Que Pasa is still unconcioious and bloody in the backest of all places*

That Krazy Dude: *throws a newly formed donkey at the Mounty*

*The Mounty explodes violently.*

That Krazy Dude: Yay!

Nemo: Wow, didn't even hafta unbuckle my seat belt!

*then comes back*

Lupine: :: still in trunk with a hawk and raccoon fighting::

That Krazy Dude: (shoves mop up Mounty's nose and starts beating him over the head with a bucket)

Ramone: WE NEVER LEAVE A HOMBRE BEHIND!!! (crashes spacheship into the Mounty, destroying it for good)

Que Pasa: NOOOOOO RAMONE!!!!!

Lupine: He was a good man...

Nemo: Poor Ramone, I knew him well for the 5 seconds I saw him.

Que Pasa: *holds Ramone's sombrero* Now I have to accomplish our dream for both of us! I will become the greatest swordsman so that my name maty be known even in Heaven!

That Krazy Dude: Oh well, better than Mexico.

Lupine: Nothing is better than Mexico.

Nemo: Hey, who let him outta the trunk?

That Krazy Dude: Aren't you supposed to be in the trunk?

Lupine: The car just fucking exploded! I'm lucky to be alive!

That Krazy Dude: Noooo!!!

Nemo: Nooooo!

That Krazy Dude: Nemo, save my burrito! *throws nemo into fire*

Que Pasa: *smacks the trunk door over Lupine*

That Krazy Dude: wtf?

Que Pasa: That tf.

Nemo: Hey, heres your burrito. It's a little burnt.

That Krazy Dude: Goody goody

*The burrito is unharmed while Nemo is burned beyond recognition and still on fire*

Nemo: Oh crap! *runs for life but falls off cliff*

Lupine: What did I miss?

Que Pasa: Girl-on-hirl action.

That Krazy Dude: Tilt-a-whirl action.

Nemo: Octupus action.

Lupine: Not hot girl on girl action!

Que Pas: Next time we fight the mounty he shoul turn into a tilt-a-whirl!

That Krazy Dude: Yeah, a tilt-a-whirl that doubles as a cheesesteak!

Sausage Fest '06: The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Movie

by Scruffy, Que Pasa, Lupine, Stampede, That Krazy Dude, No Name, Edwin and Mini-Myself (and a cameo by Patten McGroin) on September 16, 2005

Part I: Attack of the Simple Plan Clones

*Gorenicus the gorilla pirate, Count Gonad, Captain Duck-Hand Frzlngd (head of the Navy), The Mounty, Mr. Noble, Gary Coleman, Henry Winkler and dozens of random celebrities are assembled in a large room.*

Gary Coleman: Why are we here again?

???: Because I have summoned you all!

*In the center of the room... Bob Saget's ghost materializes!*

Frzlngd: U was told there would be porn. Where is it, Saget?

Duck-Hand: Master?

Bob Saget's Ghost: Yes, even though my body was destroyed I still live in all of your nonexistent hearts!

Mounty: Woot's this all about, eh?

Bob Saget's Ghost: Simple. We all have one thing in common: a hatred for the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada. Individually you were all-

Duck-Hand: So you want us to form some sort of stereotypical supervillain alliance?

Bob Saget's Ghost: SHUT UP I WAS GETTING TO THAT!!! (summons a lightning bolt that fries Nemo)

Duck-Hand: I like your style. Let's do it!

Bob Saget's Ghost: Fine. Now we shall set up a plan to destroy those damn pirates once and for all- and use the blood of their cursed leader, Scruffy, to revive me!

Gorenicus: This plan arouses me. It is flawless!

(dramatic music in background)

*DRAMATIC IRONY*

*All the villains break into evil laughter until milk squirts out of their noses- even if they weren't drinking any. End prologue.*

Count Gonad: Shut up you a-holes in the back!

*Opening credits over a computer-animated background with a cool-ass title thingy*

*Elsewhere, on the Golden Cheesecake...*

Lupine is cooking, Que Pasa is dancing, and Krazy Dude is cleaning the crew's quarters. No Name is contemplating something deep, like why does the refrigerator light turn off when you close the door.

That Krazy Dude: ::spits on Lupine's bed, then shits on lupines bed, blames shit on raccoon and leaves*

No Name: I'm going to go eat Krazy's feces.

Stampede: *SEES KRAZY SPIT ON LUPINE'S BED, DOES THE SAME*

Que Pasa: *eats the bed*

Lupine: :: shows everyone several live rabbits::

No Name: What's this? What stunt are you trying to pull?

That Krazy Dude: Hey guys, why don't giraffes dance?

Scruffy: Um, they'd be better cooked.

Lupine: Oh right, I forgot to cook 'em!

Mini-Myself: I can use the rabbits as horses, yay!

Lupine: :: lights the rabbits on fire with magic:: You happy now, No Name? Now they suffer. Eat!

No Name: No ...*uses Force Lightning*

Scruffy: Um, here Que Pasa!

Mini-Myself: NNNNNOOOOOO my chariots!

---

Que Pasa: So Cap'n, any assignments today?

No Name: Yeah, any assignments?

That Krazy Dude: What's the potato Cap'n?

Scruffy: Yes, let's have a look at ships in the area.

No Name: Okay.

Scruffy: There's that big one...

No Name: Uh-huh!

Stampede: *IS SLEEPING - GUN IN HAND, SO DON'T TRY ANYTHING*

That Krazy Dude: The one with the flag that says "All will be killed"?

Scruffy: Yeah, that one.

No Name: *puts shaving cream on Stampede's hand and tickles his nose with a feather*

That Krazy Dude: .... Okay.

Scruffy: Then there's the Midget Pirate Armada...

Stampede: *PUTS GUN TO NO NAME'S EYE*

Lupine: :: somewhere on the deck::

Scruffy: Choose which one you want to attack, crew!

No Name: I like the way your barrel looks, have you cleaned it lately?

That Krazy Dude: Does anyone ever wonder if midgets' turds are smaller than a normal person's?

Stampede: Yeah, I did this morning.

No Name: Okay, cool. (walks away awkwardly)

Stampede: I had to take the blood off of it from last night. *FOLLOWS NO NAME TO THE REST OF THE CREW*

Edwin: That time of the month, huh?

That Krazy Dude: I like the one with the deadly warning.

Scruffy: Fuck this, SIMPLE PLAN!!!!!!!! (all of a sudden, Bob Sagets rip the ship in half and takes Nemo, Patten, and Lupine down under a gigantic whirlpool)

Stampede: Oh, that was cute Edwin. *PATS ON BACK*

*QUE PASA PATS EDWIN'S ASS*

Lupine: ::walks away from argument and lies down::

Scruffy: GOD DAMN YOU, FUCKING STAMPEDE AND ALCHEMIST, GET WITH THE PROGRAMMA!!!!1

That Krazy Dude: Yeah. This isn't Telemundo dammit.

Stampede: We already are. You're the one that went for a snack.

*CAPTAIN HAS SNACK IN HAND*

Scruffy: Oh, right!

*SIMPLE PLAN BOARDS THE SHIP WITH CLONES OF THEM*

No Name: When are you going to learn how to be responsible?

That Krazy Dude: So that's why we're thigh deep in water.

Edwin: *transmutates gun* *shoots safe* *grabs gun in safe*

Miss Knight: (walks in) This is preparing you for college, use 3-ring binders!

Scruffy: It wasn't my fault (recalls screaming out Simple Plan)

Edwin: *aims it at Simple Plan*

Stampede: *PULLS OUT GUN* shoot to kill, bitches!!

That Krazy Dude: *grabs mop and charges* *smacks the lead singer* You suck!!!

Scruffy: (grabs boomstick)

No Name: *grabs lightsaber and runs towards group*

Stampede: *SHOOTS SINGER IN HEAD*

Lupine: Quick question: what in God's name is going on?

Scruffy: Oh, you're alive. Good.

Edwin: *shoots simple plan in penis* Cause women shouldn't have penises.

Stampede: *CONTINUES TO FIRE WILDLY AT CLONES*

Lupine: And yeah element power.

Stampede: Crap, there's too many!!

Lupine: I used the water to propel myself up and hit my groin :: holds ice pack::

Scruffy: Nice, fool! Oh I', sorry, that was great!

Stampede: Krazy Dude!!

That Krazy Dude: *throws water on floor and they all trip*

*No Name stops because he feels sorry for them, but he laughs secretly at simple plan.*

Edwin: *transmutates box of razor blades to use as bait to lure the simple plan clones*

Stampede: Nice burn, Edwin! *CONTINUES TO SHOOT CLONES*

No Name: (continues to laugh)

Edwin: Thank you marksman.

Stampede: Marksman is a title, Edwin. DAMN I GOT YOUR NAME RIGHT!! *CRIES*

Edwin: Sorry, I apologize.

Lupine: Time to test this baby out. :: draws sword pole thing:: Let's do this!

Scruffy: They got Patten!!!

That Krazy Dude: *squirts pine sol in guitarists face* MY GRANDMA CAN PLAY BETTER THAN YOU!!!

Lupine: :: cuts carrots and vegetables with 7 foot long pole thing::

No Name: No, Patten!!!!!!

Lupine: ::surrounded:: I'm screwed!

Patten: HELP GUYS..................

Edwin: *shoots*

Stampede: Krazy Dude!! Get your guitar!!

That Krazy Dude: Yay!

Scruffy: No, now they got Lupine!!!!

Que Pasa: *being dragged away by the clones*

Scruffy: And Que Pasa!

No Name: No QUE PASA!

That Krazy Dude: *grabs guitar*

Lupine: :: rushes at two of them and slices:: Not yet Cap'n, but we can't keep this up!

Stampede: *PULLS OUT BASS*

That Krazy Dude: *Let's do this* !!!

Stampede: Krazy Dude, play Aces High!!

That Krazy Dude: *plays*

No Name: Let's save Que Pasa, cause he still owes me money and a rematch.

Stampede: *BEGINS TO PLAY AND THEN SHORTLY AFTER USES FLAMETHROWER END OF BASS* Fine....

Scruffy: Kay, (jumps to save others but attacked by giant sea creature) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

No Name: Dammit, they got us this time!

Stampede: *KILLS MANY CLONES, GRABS QUE PASA*

Lupine: :: spins and slashes all around, Nemo is killed and that puts Lupine in a more cheerful mood::

Edwin: *kicks Simple Plan clones' heads off towards Lupine* Haha, Lupine got head from Simple Plan!

Stampede: YES!!! NOW WE CAN MAKE THOSE JOKES!!

No Name: *swings to ward off clones* they're reproducing faster then Mini-Myself's parents!

Lupine: ::kicks the clones up to the air:: IGNIS!!!!!!!!:: fire sprouts from hands and bruns them Aeolus (a fruity owl) eats the remains::

That Krazy Dude: *throws heads at the clones*

Lupine: Cap'n, we can't keep this up!

Stampede: *PULLS OUT PAPER AND PEN, MAKES TWO BLACK CRYSTAL LIGHTSABERS* NO NAME!! take this!!

No Name: Alright, thanks but I have one already.

Stampede: Oh yeah.

No Name: But two is better!

Stampede: I drew you one last time, but whatever. Use two, No Name!!

No Name: Okay.

Scruffy: (diverts sea creature to Simple Plan clones, but they over power the beast and convert it to a 10000 more Simple Plan clones)

Lupine: We gotta give up the ship! Cap'n, do youu hear me?

No Name: CAP'N!

Scruffy: Um guys, they are everywhere!

Stampede: *RUSHES IN WITH BLACK CRYSTAL LIGHTSABER*

No Name: (keeps clones at bay for Lupine and Cap to talk dramatically)

Scruffy: It's no use, you kill 'em, 10 take their place!

Stampede: *HELPS NO NAME*

Lupine: We gotta cut our loses, TERRA :: sea floor opens up:: Send as much of them in!

Scruffy: Okay!

Edwin: *creates wall to hold back the massive amount of gay music creating clones for a few seconds*

Lupine: Hurry it's draining!

Scruffy: Now, Salama, tilt the boat over!!!!

No Name: Dammit, I can't hold them off any longer!

Stampede: SALAMA'S NOT HERE!!!

Scruffy: WHAT!!!!!

Stampede: Edwin!! TILT THIS BOAT!!

Edwin: Yeah.

Scruffy: Well then, we're all screwed.

Stampede: MAKE IT A PINBALL MACHINE OR SOMETHING AND TILT IT!!

Edwin: *transmutates a Salama dummy made from cow fat.....alot of cow fat*

Scruffy: Too late! (ship sucked in crack)

No Name: *gives Cap a hammer* Hold this while i nail your wife!

Stampede: Eh No Name, it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good. I'll give you a 3.5 of 5.

No Name: Thanks.

That Krazy Dude: I'll give you a 3 out of potato salad.

Lupine: ::dramatically holding the seafloor open but it is draining him::

Scruffy: Well, we fell in. Now what?

That Krazy Dude: Who knows?

Stampede: *ACCIDENTLY SET FIRE TO SHIP AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES AGO*

Edwin: That explains the horrible burning sensation and the 3rd degree burns!

Lupine: Guys, this isn't good.

No Name: That's the same performance I gave your mom in bed! OOOOO

(Growling can be heard in background)

Stampede: Edwin, can you transmutate it to normal?

Scruffy: oh great, they r still alive. We can't beat 'em. run fast!!!

No Name: Okay!

Que Pasa: *runs*

Stampede: OH SHIT EDWIN!!

Que Pasa: *fast*

Stampede: RUN!!

Edwin: Transmutate what?

Que Pasa: *!!!*

*Scooby-Doo theme song plays in background.*

Edwin: *runs*

That Krazy Dude: *throws slippery cleaning material and runs* Ruh roh!

Stampede: ITS ANIPLEX AND SQUARE ENIX!! RUN EDWIN!!!

Edwin: AGHHHH I DON'T WANT TO BE SYNDICATED!!!

Scruffy: (Halo Marine) They got me sir, they got me!

Stampede: *RUNS FROM PIONEER, DISTRIBUTORS OF TRIGUN*

Lupine: :: covers ground with ice that melts quickly::

No Name: NO CAP speak to ME!

Que Pasa: CAAAAP'N!!!

Scruffy: Crap, here, take this fools! (throws grenade)

That Krazy Dude: *runs from the people who have the aim screenames that he tried to make like this one*

Que Pasa: *ferociously tears through a bunch of clones*

Stampede: OK QUICK UPDATE: ME AND EDWIN ARE CURRENTLY NOT HELPING!

Que Pasa: EVERYONE STAY BACK

Stampede: WE ARE RUNNING!

Lupine: :: slices five more::

No Name: Okay.

Stampede: WE WILL BACK SHORTLY!

Edwin: *claps hands* *tranmutates desert eagles and hands on to Stampede*

Scruffy: (grenade does not go off)DEFECTIVE GRENADE, DEFECTIVE GRENADE!!!!!

Que Pasa: *sucks up flames from Cap'n's body into his nose, then blasts his fire at the ground around the clones; The piece of ground they stand on falls to the center of the earth**

That Krazy Dude: Not that!

No Name: Man, talk about drugs toasting your brain

Stampede: *SHOOTS THE HELL OUT OF ANIPLEX EXECS* GO HELP THEM EDWIN!

Scruffy: Where's Mr. T? We need his BFGs! Only his guns can take them all out at once. It's the only way to win!

Stampede: *KILLS PIONEER AND SE EXECS*

*Square-Enix execs grab Krazy, and his eyes start to get anime-ish. His hair gets spikier.*

Stampede: NO!!!

No Name: Damn, how deep is the earth?........*ends up in China*

Que Pasa: *goes around eating the rest of the clones*

Lupine: Square Enix? You fuckers :: slice 3 execs:: Where the fuck is Advent?

Scruffy: Where is he!?!?!

Stampede: *DESTROYS ANIPLEX EXECS*

That Krazy Dude: *does chin sign*

Stampede: Krazy Dude!

---

Gorenicus: Dammit, they're besting our traps!

Count Gonad: Don't worry. They won't last much longer.

---

Edwin: *helps Stampede and kicks execs in the nuts*

That Krazy Dude: *exec is chewing on Krazy's foot* *clothes look flashy and all anime style*

No Name: Dammit, where could they be coming from?!?!?!

*Que Pasa lunges at the exec and they fight like lions.*

Stampede: *SHOOTS EXEC'S HEAD, BULLET GOES THROUGH AND SHOOTS KRAZY IN FOOT*

That Krazy Dude: Ow!

Scruffy: (shoots three in a row with boomstick)

No Name: (throws a steak in the middle of Que Pasa's fight)

Stampede: Sorry Krazy Dude!

Lupine: We can't keeps this up! :: holds up cuts in arm::

Scruffy: (Burns 11 with Fire Wall )

That Krazy Dude: *hair goes back to normal*

Lupine: I've aleady lost use of my left arm for now.

Stampede: They almost got you, Krazy Dude!

Edwin: *shoots execs in the nuts* HAHA NUT SHOTS!

That Krazy Dude: *polygons exit body and, he becomes flesh again*

Edwin: BITCH I DONT GOTTA CLAPS MY HANDS FOR THAT!

Que Pasa: Here's the source!

No Name: *slices and does fancy acrobatics*

Scruffy: everybody, they are too many! Huddle up! Stampede, inject me with your flamethrower.

Lupine: :: uses right arm and summons...... a pine tree:: That will hold them off. So many of them.

Que Pasa: *points to a giant potato that produces Simple Plan clones, Square Enix execs and Aniplex execs like crazy*

Stampede: Umm... *USES NEEDLE OF BASS TO INJECT CAPN*

No Name: How will we take that potato down?

That Krazy Dude: Not the potato!

Edwin: *claps hands* *destroys wall of cargo to fall on clones*

Que Pasa: *Starts tearing through the potato*

That Krazy Dude: NOT THAT!!! Oh, but Simple Plan's still here.

Gary Coleman: Whatchou talkin' bout?

Que Pasa: *snaps Gray Coleman's neck with his feet*

No Name: Que Pasa, I like your thinking! That's why I leave this stuff to you.

That Krazy Dude: Oh shit, I said it again!

*More clones come from behind.*

That Krazy Dude: You guys take the potato, I'll take care of these guys! I've got a score to settle.

Stampede: Edwin transmutate some ammo and paper for me, and a good pen! Not that cheap one you always give me!

No Name: Dammit that potato is just a distraction!

Lupine: :: does the rising dragon and kills 5 clones:: Only one thing I can do!

*Gary Coleman's neck straightens.*

Lupine: :: points two fingers in the air:: This is the last of my strength.

That Krazy Dude: This is for "Welcome to my Life"!!!!

Lupine: DIVINE LIGHTNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No Name: *helps Que Pasa and slashes fancy and dramatically with two lightsabers*

That Krazy Dude: *kicks clone in face and knocks his head off*

*Gary Coleman whistles, and the rest of the villains drop down.*

Stampede: EDWIN!!

No Name: STAMPEDE!

Stampede: I need that ammo and paper now!! And a G2!!

Duck-Hand: Take us to your captain.

That Krazy Dude: *reawakens Old Krazy Dude (as seen in blog on my MySpace)*

No Name: HURRY UP WITH THAT AMMO AND PAPER!

Edwin: *claps hands* *modifies Stampede's gun with higher caliber bullets*

Stampede: Sweet!!

Patten McGroin: *randomly laughs alot*

Stampede: I still need that paper though.

Lupine: :: brings down fingers and lightning comes after killing 20 clones but is no use, more clones come and take their place. Lupine collapses from over taxing his body::

Stampede: Guys wait! That Krazy Dude: *cracks clone's neck*

Stampede: WAIT!

Que Pasa: *starts to eat Lupine's remains*

No Name: *uses Force powers to lift Lupine to safety*

That Krazy Dude: Damn that was a quick battle I guess.

Stampede: Maybe if they take Lupine they'll leave us alone!

Lupine: I'm still alive!

No Name: Bad Que Pasa!

Que Pasa: It was worth a try.

No Name: We house trained you to do this outside!

Stampede: Maybe if they take Lupine, they'll leave us alone!

No Name: Dammit Stampede, we're not uncivilized anymore! Sacrifices don't please the gods!

Edwin: *transmutates paper and ammo*

That Krazy Dude: *offers Lupine to clones*

*CLONES ACCEPT, LUPINE IS TAKEN WITH CLONES*

Lead Singer: Excellent, now we can slit our wrists with someone other than each other and listen to each other bitch about how bad our actually easy lives are!

Stampede: Damn, now we need to save Lupine! But after lunch. Edwin, can you transmutate me a burger? I would do it myself, but you still haven't taught me how to transmutate food.

Edwin: I need fat! (slams Lupine's face to the floor and transmutes a burger)

No Name: Harsh! Lemme get some though.

*All the villains grab the Cap'n and take him into the potato*

No Name: CAPPPPP!

*The potato grows wheels and laser cannons The potato drives forward, shooting at the crew while trying to run them over.*

No Name: (dodges potato and creates force field around himself to deflect bullets)

That Krazy Dude: *charges at potato and picks up conveniently placed javelin, then jumps into the air and chucks the javelin at the center of the potato*

*A hatch in the potato opens, and all the random celebrities pour out.*

Gonad: That should keep them busy. Now... to the spot of Bob Saget's death!

That Krazy Dude: *gasp*

No Name: GASPUUUUUU

*The potato's wheels turn into rockets and it flies away.*

Lupine: ::falls out of potato::

That Krazy Dude: Where's the cap'n?

No Name: They abducted HIM. DAMMIT!

That Krazy Dude: NOOOO!!!!

Que Pasa: (hanging onto the side of the potato) CAAAP'N!!!

Part II: Old Enemies

That Krazy Dude: CAP'N Y!?!?!?!?

Stampede: Why'd you slam Lupine's face Ed? *CHEWS ON BURGER*

Edwin: Needed meat, and Salama wasn't there. Too lazy to waste an extra sec in the transmutation.

Stampede: *SPITS OUT BURGER*

No Name: We're useless, how couldn't we save the Cap'n?

That Krazy Dude: You bastards! *points to the celebrities* How dare you kidnap our Cap'n!

Lupine: :: wakes up groggily:: Cap'n... ::holding arm barely walking:: CAPN!!!!!!!! My magic wasn't good enough. I'm sorry, my friend. ::cries::

No Name: Everyone, we just lost our only real good story writer Que Pasa so we need to be quick on our feet!

That Krazy Dude: Where is he?

---

Mr. Noble: (sees Que Pasa on a surveillance camera) Looks like we have a guest.

Gorenicus: I'll destroy him myself

---

No Name: OFF TO FIND QUE PASA AND CAP!

Lupine: I'll save them.

That Krazy Dude: Where's our first mate and Cap'n!?

*Que Pasa and Gorenicus duel on top of the speeding potato*

Lupine: I failed as second mate!

No Name: All GCPA, hold hands and skip on Yellow Brick Road!

That Krazy Dude: Yay!

Stampede: I'll help you, No Name!

That Krazy Dude: Or we can make Lupine's powers useful.

Lupine: :: encounters Bill Cosby:: Everyone go on, I'll hold him off!

That Krazy Dude: Summon your fruity bird dammit!

Lupine: Just go, and my magic was over used. Anymore and I could die.

That Krazy Dude: Fuck!

Stampede: *USES TELEPORTER, WAITS FOR THE REST OF THE CREW*

No Name: Transmutate me a cool hover platform!

Edwin: *claps hands* transmutates desert eagles for himself, No Name and Stampede*

Stampede: Yes, I love desert eagles!

Lupine: Just run!

That Krazy Dude: (runs to teleporter)

Lupine: :: draws staff with one good arm::

No Name: I don't use guns, they're uncivilized.

Stampede: Shut up and use them, No Name. They're more modern.

Lupine: GO DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

That Krazy Dude: *picks up mop*

---

Gorenicus: (flings feces at Que Pasa)

---

*weird noise goes off*

That Krazy Dude: EXPERIENCE ACQUIRED

No Name: Give me a platform to use my Force powers to levitate and fly off!

::Cosby rushes at Lupine::

Stampede: Technically swords and lightsabers are more uncivilized.

That Krazy Dude: WEAPON LEVEL UP

---

Que Pasa: (catches the feces in nose cannon and fires them back at Gorenicus until he falls off the side of the potato)

---

Stampede: HAHA...technicalities!

Edwin: ARE YOU SAYING THAT SHOOTING AND HARMING PEOPLE SERIOUSLY ISN'T CIVILIZED?

---

• The potato lands on the moon*

---

That Krazy Dude: MOP BLADE ACQUIRED

No Name: Fine (uses Force powers to fly off in a Neo "The One" Matrix style) I'm coming Que Pasa!

Edwin: Well I don't think you're a scientist now are you!

That Krazy Dude: How are we gunna reach the potato?

Cosby: Lupine, we meet again! This time no one can eat me.

Lupine: As a chef, I will be the one.

---

*All the villains rush out with the restrained captain and rush towards the remains of Bob Saget's fortress*

---

That Krazy Dude: Where should we search?

No Name: I'm almost there, just hold on a little longer!

Stampede: *TRANSMUTATES CUP OF COFFEE*

That Krazy Dude: Stampede, what do we do?!

Stampede: Edwin I did it! I can transmutate food and drink.

Edwin: *transmutates sugar* Want some?

Stampede: *TRANSMUTATES WHISKEY* Only if its equal, dh!

That Krazy Dude: Our giraffes have been eaten and our Garfields fluffed!!!

Edwin: Let's make this coffee Irish....

No Name: (sends Force telepathy) Edwin, Stamp you guys are lazy!

Stampede: Wheres the equal, Ed?

That Krazy Dude: You guys are crappy crew mates, yo.

Stampede: If I understood what the hell was goin on...

Edwin: I shaved No Name's hair off without him knowing.

That Krazy Dude: Where are you No Name!!!

No Name: Finally I made it... Oh wait, I'm on Mars not the moon!

---

*Count Gonad, Captain Duck-Hand Frzlngd, The Mounty and Mr. Noble strap Scruffy to Bob Saget's deathbed.*

---

Lupine: ::grabs his weapon, but his arm is still wounded so he flinches, Cosby takes advantage and covers him in jello::

Cosby: What are you gonna do now, what with the jello surrounding and the fact that I'm fricken crazy?

Lupine: ::chuckles then screams:: AEOLUS!

No Name: Okay, finally right planet!

That Krazy Dude: Yes!

Stampede: Ahh yes, that's right!

*An owl flies to the pirates.*

That Krazy Dude: (boards the bird) Everyone onto the fruity bird now!!!

Stampede: *SHOOTS CUTE RABBIT*

Lupine: :: an owl flies down and begins eating Cosby::

No Name: QUE PASA CAP'N! WHERE ARE YOU?

Stampede: Where are we now?

That Krazy Dude: Getting onto Lupine's fruity wind spirit to go to the moon! And find our cap'n and first mate!

Stampede: *GETS ON WITH EDWIN* Let's go!!!

Edwin: *claps hands* *and plays pitty pat with random school shild* No Name: AND HOW ARE WE ABLE TO BREATH IN THIS NO ATMOSPHERE ENVIORNMENT

---

Que Pasa: *tries to be stealthy and hide his presence from the villains, only to set off a nuclear explosion*

---

That Krazy Dude: *flies off and they reach the moon, and head into the moon base*

Edwin: YAY!!!!!

No Name: *sees nuclear explosion* This could mean two things- either Salama farted, or Que Pasa tried to be stealthy.

Stampede: Yeah I'm gonna do a stealth mission!

Edwin: YAY!

---

Count Gonad: We have an intruder!

Mr. Noble: And he doesn't look like he's written any essays recently...

---

Edwin: YAY!

Stampede: Edwin, can I have a silencer please?

Edwin: *makes silencer*

That Krazy Dude: *yells* We must be stealthy and not get caught!!!

Stampede: Are you rushing or stealthing, Ed?

Lupine: :: screams:: I will not fail my crew!

*LUPINE FAILS HIS CREW*

Lupine: I'M SORRY GUYS, THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN OUR LAST GOOD BYE!

Que Pasa: I will fight you to the end! *fights The Mounty*

Gonad: Forget that damn Canadian! Proceed with the ceremony!

Edwin: *transmutates horse to fuck Lupine up the ass, then horse dies*

No Name: Not if I'm there to see it!

Lupine: AEOLUS, IGNIS, TERRA, AQUAS!

No Name: jumps *in at last minute all cool and helps Que Pasa*

That Krazy Dude: *runs into the base retardedly screaming in jibberish*

Que Pasa: THIS IS FOR RAMONE *does some cool sword trick that ends with The Mounty falling apart into hundreds of pieces*

No Name: Hey Que Pasa, where did you learn that?

Que Pasa: From your mom!

No Name: OUCH!

---

Lupine: :: a quad of magic hits Cosby and the owl killing them both and leaving Lupine on the floor collapsed::

---

Stampede: *puts gun to the back of Gonad's head* Stay still, fucker!

Gonad: Oh I'm good at this game. Lindsey Lohan?

Stampede: Guess again.....

Edwin: LINDSEY LOHAN IS LIKE MR STRETCH!!! That bitch is skinny and can fit anywhere!

Count Gonad: That's corny. The only person other then Lindsey Lohan who would do this is Stampede the Marksman!

Stampede: *DING DING DING DING DING*

Stampede: You won, Gonad!! Here's your prize!! *GIVES GONAD A VESPA SCOOTER* *then shoots him in the arm*

That Krazy Dude: *charges at Mr. Noble* *bounces off his big fuckin stomach*

No Name: *runs to save cap'n* CAP'N!

Lupine: :: water starts to bubble up beneath Lupine swallowing him up and making him disappear::

Edwin: *claps hand* *gets water and transmutates it to ice to make the irsh coffee an irish coffee coolatta*

*Noble throws old essay papers that he "lost" at krazy dude*

No Name: Oh no, it's those 2-bit characters from Aqua Teen Hunger Force- the green and pinkish one!

Duck-Hand: (holds the duck beak at Scurffy's neck) NOBODY MOVE!!!

That Krazy Dude: *gasp*

Lupine: ::appears back and barely standing:: What I miss?

Stampede: Ed! Gimme an Irish Coffee Coolata quickly!!

*Gonad sings nursery rhymes as he rides the scooter around. Then he explodes.*

That Krazy Dude: Don't do it Duck-Hand!!

Lupine: Duck Hand? :: looks:: Oh him!

Edwin: *throws cup dramatically. Then remembers about gravity*

Stampede: *DRINKS COOLATA* *EVERYTHING STOPS*

*cup hits ground and explodes*

*Everything goes in slow motion, and Stampede move fast like Fry in that episode of Futurama*

Stampede: *CUTS DUCK-HAND'S BEAK OFF*

• Stampede nods at a bird, and everything returns to normal.*

Duck-Hand: NO MY DUCK!!! (replaces with spare chicken)

Que Pasa: I think that's all of them!

No Name: You have nowhere to go now, Duck-Hand!

Duck Hand: You're too late! ::points to Scruffy's slit wrists and to the now-shaking earth::

Part III: Saget's Revenge

Anthologies of GCPA Sidequests

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10