GCPA Sidequests Part 6

Anthologies of GCPA Sidequests

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

The Adventures of Scruffy and Que Pasa: Harry Potter and the Mystery of Where the Hell the Light Rail is

by Scruffy and GORE-ILLA on November 18, 2005

*Big dramatic anime theme song filled with philospical lyrics that have nothing to do with the show.*

Scruffy: Excellent!

Que Pasa: Cap'n, everyone has gone off to Newport to watch the new Harry Potter movie!

Scruffy: What bout us? Weren't we invited?

Que Pasa: I dunno. The invitations must have gotten lost in the mail

Scruffy: Damn those fools! Who feeds them?

Que Pasa: Mr. T does.

*Scene of Mr. T sprinkling fish food into the ship from above.*

Scruffy: Who gives them shelter? Who adopted them???

Que Pasa: Kelsey Grammar. ...We must find them!

Scruffy.: Well then, who's ship is it?

Que Pasa: Technically it belongs to the state of Idaho.

Scruffy: ..... I have a brilliant idea that I just stole from you. Let's go find them!

Que Pasa: Excellent! They were going to take something they call the "light rail". We must find this "light rail" and intercept them there

Scruffy: What the fuck is that?

Que Pasa: I have no clue. But if we keep wandering in random directions, we're sure to find it.

Scruffy: Okay, before our ship gets blown up again though, let's use these horses that just happen to be here.

Que Pasa: Okay.

*Scruffy and Que Pasa board the horses and ride off while Lord of the Rings music plays*

(A horse bites Que Pasa's Mario-Kun manga)

Que Pasa: BAKANA! (eats the horses) Damn, I should have said it in Kanji to get extra credit

Scruffy: Great....now we have no mode of transportation! ...I have an excellent idea! (whistles)

(Salama comes tired and hungry saying, "Feed me feed me". Scruffy presses the button on the cloning machine and duplicates Salama into 3.)

Scruffy: There, transportation. And this time, the transportation can eat you instead of you eating it.

Que Pasa: Salama went to the movie didn't he?

Scruffy: No, I don't think he did. And anyway, this is a clone. All 3 are clones.

Que Pasa: *climbs out of Salama's mouth* Ah the cruel irony!

Scruffy: (pulls Que Pasa out) Stop...fooling ....around!!!

Que Pasa: Hey, you know this is the perfect opportunity for some random villain to come and challenge us!

Scruffy: So it is.

*A closet opens, and Mr. Fatigue marches out.*

Mr. Fatigue: Gimme yo' energy bitches!

Scruffy: Mr. Fatugue!!!!!

Mr. Fatigue: And that's Fatigure, bitch!!!

*Mr. Fatigue starts doing a wild dance*

Scruffy: Que Pasa....feel...weak!

Que Pasa: (cuts one of the Salama's stomaches open) Quick, hide in here!

Scruffy: Get the meat-scented Fabreese can....and spray it...on Fatigue!

Que Pasa: *does what he just said, and Mr. Fatigue runs off chased by the Salama clones.*

Scruffy: Good job, Que Pasa! Now, we're off.

Que Pasa: They're probably already at Newport Mall. Let's just head there

Scruffy: (following that sign that says Newport Mall)

*Mr. Meyer follows them in the shadows with two leashed cowjackals*

Que Pasa: We're almost there!

(Afyer a long and perilous trek through the Sahara Desert, Great Wall of China, center of the earth, and the Eiffel Tower, they reach the Light Rail.)

Scruffy: We're here...we made it!!!! (gets jumped)

*They're both pinned to the ground by Mr. Meyer's cowjackals.*

Scruffy: Damn it, so close! (train moves off to next stop) We missed it!

Que Pasa: Not yet! *tosses one of the cowjackals into the other, causing them to explode, then fires a grappling hook from his nose cannon that links onto the train*

*Scruffy grabs onto Que Pasa's foot as the train pulls him away*

Scruffy: Good job Que Pasa, I'll finish the cowjackls off! (drops energy sword on rail, causing an electric oversurge, send the jackals flying in a Team Rocket fashion)

Mr. Meyer: (speaks into walkie-talkie) They're getting away.

Guy on Other End: Don't worry, leave them to me.

*Gorenicus rides up in a hovercar and starts dropping junk towards Scruffy and Que Pasa.*

Scruffy: Aw crap, Gorenicus! Not you again, you stupid monkey!

*Gorenicus flies towards the grappling line with a giant pair of nose clippers*

Scruffy: No!!!!!

*Inside the train, the other crewmates are too busy tossing around Family Guy quotes to notice anything. Gorenicus cuts the line and sends them flying back as the train leaves*

Scruffy: (falls of) Remember me for who I am!!!!!

Que Pasa: Remember who?

Scruffy: (thud) ouch

Que Pasa: We failed to catch them there, but we have to get to Newport Mall! Our afternoon's entertainment is at stake! I just want to go there and shout out, "CEDRIC DIGGORY DIES!"

*The pirates quickly board jet skis and continue driving towards Newport.*

Scruffy: Where'd you get these?

Que Pasa: Don't remember. Think I stole them from a hobo.

Scruffy: I know what he feels like... (remembers a Jedi with a pirate band steal his blanket) Well, anyhow, how do you use 'em?

Que Pasa: You just... use them.

*Cap'n drives forward with new intensity. They soon arrive at Newport Mall after dodging a field of movies starring rappers like Fifty Cent*

Scruffy: Phew, we made it!

*Scruff and Pas quickly rush towards the movie theater.*

Movie Dude: Sorry, the movie already started, and it's never being shown again since its being recalled for its high amount of HOT SEX

Que Pasa: Maybe we can sneak in!

*Gorenicus drops down through the air duct*

Gorenicus: Not so fast!

Scruffy: Not you again! (throws fireball)

*Gorenicus is still laughing, chokes on the fireball and explodes*

Scruffy: ....I planned that. Now, let's go in!

Movie Guy: I said no!!!!

Scruffy: Que Pasa, dance off with him!

Que Pasa: *grabs a pencil and duels the Movie Dude; Eventually the Movie Dude is pinned to the poster for Superman Returns by a pencil going through his chest*

*The others come out of the movie.*

Que Pasa: Wow, that duel lasted 154 minutes?

Scruffy: Wrong!!!, it lasted 154.00 minutes!!! u fail, no go to the dorner and cry!!!

Que Pasa: Fine. Where's the dorner?

*A giant polygonal being drops down.*

Being: I AM THE DORNER, BRINGER OF DOOM!

Scruffy: Oh no, trouble! (goes into a trash can and a magical light appears around it, a figure pops out wearing a cape and speaking with a Californian accent)

Figure: Where there's trouble, you can count on Super Hobo!!!!!!

*Super Hobo and the Dorner run into each other and fight until Dorner's penis is set on fire and he explodes.*

Super Hobo: Whenever a citizen is in need , like I'll be there, or here, or that place where the citizen is.......Super Hobo...AWAY!!!!!!(goes to fly off for a dramatic end but trips over own cape)

Super Hobo: Dude!!! That, like, hurt shaw!

*The Millenium Falcon drives into the mall.*

Han Solo: Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!

Que Pasa: What the hell just happened?

*Japanese anime credits play with shots of random girls and more lyrics with philosophical meaning that have nothing to do with the show.*

The Electric Train Adventures

by No Name on November 19, 2005

The Electric Train Adventures *not a sequel*

Edwin: It's a half day. Wanna go to the mall and watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?

Stampede: Alright! Let's invite Patten, Krazy, No Name, Lupine, Que Pasa, Shiny Stallone, Salama, Dreamer and Karl the Angry Black Man Trying to Get Out the Hood, and some other people (like Bianca and stuff)

*During Homeroom*

Mr. Fatigue: Guys, I'm leaving...to Atlanta.... *starts drying*

No Name: NOOOOOOO! Now Keyara is the token black girl! Why Mr. Fatigue! Why! Is it because of the lock-in..We're sorry, we were just playing with you!

Mr. Fatigue: No, it's Destiny calling me, No Name and crew!

No Name: Screw Destiny!

*Mr. Fatigue picks up cell phone*

Mr.Fatigue: Hey Destiny. What's up boo? Yeah I'll be there next week...yeah....yeah...alright. By the way when you said screw Destiny.... I just might take up that offer. Have a donut.

*Que Pasa takes a donut*

Que Pasa: Hey this one is shaped like a penis! With jelly filling!

Edwin: That's the new form of gonorrhea!

*Later during the day*

Dreamer: Can I come ?

Que Pasa: I don't know!

Patten: There are too many people coming.

That Krazy Dude: Aha, he said coming!

Que Pasa: Touche!

That Krazy Dude: !echout

*Que Pasa hysterically laughs, and milk comes out his nose.*

That Krazy Dude: AHAHA you have white sutff coming from your nose!

*At the lockers. Stampede, No Name, and No Name's brother "Some Name" talk to Patten to find out how they will get to the light rail.*

Stampede: Alright so Patten we're taken your bus and we can all drop our stuff at your house right?

*Patten is having orgie with Reneta and Bianca.*

Patten: No, my mom is acting like a female dog.

Stampede: Yo bro, what the hell! *takes pistols out and shoots the hallway up*

No Name: Thats alright I'll drop my stuff off at Edwin's.

Patten: See you're cool. You're not angry like Stampede.

*Later in geometry class*

Mr. Greco: Okay, so how can we find the sum of the measure of angle 1 and 4 to be 270 other then using the sum of the exterior angles always add up to 360?

*Que Pasa runs up to No Name*

Que Pasa: (whispers into his ear) Harry Potter, Harry potter, Harry potter....PENIS! *starts laughing*

Stampede: Yo Daniel, can we go to G's to get a bus pass?

Mr. Greco: Alright. But be careful. The road to G's is a treacherous one...filled danger and more danger at every corner, oh and cream filling! But take heed, the treasure is worth the perils!

*Edwin, Stampede, and No Name walk out the class room*

Stampede: I don't know what dangers Daniel is talking about, I don't see any here.

*Dr. Abbasi and Ms. Dobkin appear*

Ms. Dobkin: You three talk to much....must separate...IN HELL! Or in Japanese, jjitenshigoku! I think ...I've grown senile in my times.

Dr. Abbasi: I am called a doctor but have nothing in relation to MEDICINE!

*Both teachers rush towards Edwin, Stampede, and No Name*

Dobkin: Masshu-san, you will never be good enough for the Honor Society! Carlo Get serious! No Name..... *Bows to No Name*

Abassi: I am a wet blanket ...I ruin everyones fun...and I am a wet blanket....!

*Edwin transmutates a pillar to uppercut Abassi into the air. Stampede shoots Abbassi to keep him in the air while No Name does a bunch of cool slashes with his light saber.*

No Name: Well that's that, to G's! *shakes leg because Dobkin is humping his leg, Nemo then joins* Oh boy.....

*The three finally arrive at G's*

G: You have summoned me...what do you wish for?

Stampede: Three bus passes!

G: I can't, the buses are too full.. *Reneta and Angie walk in and ask for bus pass and get on*.....and you're not as hot as them *Kim walks by and tongue-kisses G* See you later Kim...Well anyway, get outta here! I can't give you a bus pass! *Dragon Balls disperse, and now the crew has to wait another year to make a wish*

Edwin: That was ass!

*Later that day, school finishes and the crew is off to the bus assigned in order to get the light rail. Patten and Reneta get on the Union City bus, Edwin on the Jersey City bus.*

Stampede: Alright, we have to fight the bus driver in order to get on and get to the light rail!

*No Name, Some Name, and Stampede rush towards the bus ready to fight! The bus driver summons her minions and with a 1960's Batman montage, they begin to fight. Some BAM, AND WHAM, AND SPLAT happen and the crew manage to get onto the bus.*

Stampede: That's that! *they get onto the bus and a couple of stops later the get off at Patten's house*

No Name: Is that your house?

Patten: No. *couple of steps later*

No Name: How boout that one?

PAtten: NO!

No Name: That one?

PAtten: NO!

*The crew arrives at Patten's house that reveals a large castle built outta gold*

Patten: Well I'll meet you up at the light rail! Go to Edwin's house to drop your stuff off.

No Name: Okay. * Some Name, No Name, and Stampede begin walking off*

Patten: Wait! I didn't tell you where to go!...Oh well.

Stampede: So No Name, what happens if Edwin left his house already?

No Name: Don't speak like that!

*A few blocks later. The crew sees Edwin walking a block away from his house*

No Name: Edwin!

Stampede: Man that was close!

No Name: No it was DESTINY! Anyway Edwin, let's drop this stuff at your house.

*No Name and Some Name drop their stuff of at Edwin's house. Then head to the light raill and then the arrive there. Everyone buys their ticket and gets on the bus. Edwin plays with the handicap chair. The crew then makes the switch to the light that heads to new port.*

Patten: Alright we're finally here!

*The crew runs inside the mall. They buy the ticker for 4:45 movie. Most of the males including Karl the Angry Black Man Trying to Get Out the Hood go to the book store. Along the way Lupine and No Name get caught by the Final Fantasy VII movie. Stampede thens shoots the screen.*

No Name: What the hell!

Stampede: That stuff is gay!

Lupine: You're gay!

*The male part of the crew except for Patten arrive at the book store. They go through the manga and game magazines...when No Name comes across a "smooth" magazine...one where a bunch of girls with big butts and tits pose in sexy lingerie.*

No Name: Yo Karl look at that...that's mad sexy!

Karl: Hell yeah yo!

Edwin: I'm pitching a tent!

*Mr. Greco finds an Ultimate X-men magazine*

Mr. Greco: OMG! Rogue!

Karl: Yo Greco, look at this!

Mr. Greco: That's nothing *continues o stare at the Ultimate X-Men magazine*

*The crew heads to the movie and 3 hours later the movie finishes. During the movie Edwin, Stampede, and No Name make funny comments about the movie.*

No Name: I challenge you, Stampede, to a Lethal Force 3 challenge!

*Stampede and Karl are already there playing*

No Name: Ouch!

Karl: This is for ma boy Naheim and Moo-Moo and Taya! rest in peace! *Karl then dies in the game* Damn....

No Name: My turn! *puts quarters in and joins Stampede. Stampede then dies in the game*

Edwin: Man No Name, you're trigger happy!

No Name: This is for Stampede! *No name loses* Ahh forget it, I'm not a gun man plus Stampede isn't worth it. *draws light saber and destroys machine* Yeah much better.

No Name: Well guys, hate to end this story in an anti-climactic way but farewell... *the whole group departs*

OH AND NEMO DIES. Don't ask me how, use your imagination.

The Adventures of Scruffy and Que Pasa- Outbreak: The Unofficial Steven Spielberg Sequel That Japan Never Released in America

by Scruffy and GORE-ILLA on November 23, 2005

Untitled

by No Name on November 23, 2005

Thanksgiving

Written November 26, 2005

Anthologies of GCPA Sidequests

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10