Difference between revisions of "GCPA Sidequests Part 3"

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Lupine: Yes.
 
Lupine: Yes.
  
−
That Krazy Dude: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh????????
+
That Krazy Dude: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh????????
  
 
Scruffy: Scruffy.....glug glug.......can't....glug.......swim.......glug glug glug
 
Scruffy: Scruffy.....glug glug.......can't....glug.......swim.......glug glug glug
Line 77: Line 77:
 
That Krazy Dude: No, by Don. Don King.
 
That Krazy Dude: No, by Don. Don King.
  
−
Lupine: :: grabs aeolus and flies off ship but the bird can't make it:: Aeolus!
+
Lupine: :: grabs Aeolus and flies off ship but the bird can't make it:: Aeolus!
  
 
<nowiki>*</nowiki>A giant sea potato roars towards the crew OMG NOSTALGIA*
 
<nowiki>*</nowiki>A giant sea potato roars towards the crew OMG NOSTALGIA*
Line 99: Line 99:
 
That Krazy Dude: Are you trying to be Lupine who's trying to be me?
 
That Krazy Dude: Are you trying to be Lupine who's trying to be me?
  
−
Scruffy: Damn, bird, I said stay down !(shoots it wit a 0.30mm armor piercing chaingun)
+
Scruffy: Damn, bird, I said stay down ! (shoots it with a 0.30mm armor piercing chaingun)
  
 
Stampede: Shut up Lupine, I already shot your damn bird, and I got its left wing! So get over it!
 
Stampede: Shut up Lupine, I already shot your damn bird, and I got its left wing! So get over it!
Line 189: Line 189:
 
Nemo: Wait, Nintendo World?
 
Nemo: Wait, Nintendo World?
  
−
That Krazy Dude: can we go to the Museum of Mario?
+
That Krazy Dude: Can we go to the Museum of Mario?
  
 
Scruffy: Sure!
 
Scruffy: Sure!
Line 505: Line 505:
 
That Krazy Dude: Yeah, a tilt-a-whirl that doubles as a cheesesteak!
 
That Krazy Dude: Yeah, a tilt-a-whirl that doubles as a cheesesteak!
  
−
=Sausage Fest '06: The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Movie=
+
=Sausage Fest '05: The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Movie=
  
 
''by Scruffy, Que Pasa, Lupine, Stampede, That Krazy Dude, No Name, Edwin and Mini-Myself (and a cameo by Patten McGroin) on September 16, 2005''
 
''by Scruffy, Que Pasa, Lupine, Stampede, That Krazy Dude, No Name, Edwin and Mini-Myself (and a cameo by Patten McGroin) on September 16, 2005''
  
 
==Part I: Attack of the Simple Plan Clones==
 
==Part I: Attack of the Simple Plan Clones==
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Gorenicus the gorilla pirate, Count Gonad, Captain Duck-Hand Frzlngd (head of the Navy), The Mounty, Mr. Noble, Gary Coleman, Henry Winkler and dozens of random celebrities are assembled in a large room.*
 +
 +
Gary Coleman: Why are we here again?
 +
 +
???: Because I have summoned you all!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>In the center of the room... Bob Saget's ghost materializes!*
 +
 +
Frzlngd: I was told there would be porn. Where is it, Saget?
 +
 +
Duck-Hand: Master?
 +
 +
Bob Saget's Ghost: Yes, even though my body was destroyed I still live in all of your nonexistent hearts!
 +
 +
Mounty: Woot's this all about, eh?
 +
 +
Bob Saget's Ghost: Simple. We all have one thing in common: a hatred for the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada. Individually you were all-
 +
 +
Duck-Hand: So you want us to form some sort of stereotypical supervillain alliance?
 +
 +
Bob Saget's Ghost: SHUT UP I WAS GETTING TO THAT!!! (summons a lightning bolt that fries Nemo)
 +
 +
Duck-Hand: I like your style. Let's do it!
 +
 +
Bob Saget's Ghost: Fine. Now we shall set up a plan to destroy those damn pirates once and for all- and use the blood of their cursed leader, Scruffy, to revive me!
 +
 +
Gorenicus: This plan arouses me. It is flawless!
 +
 +
(dramatic music in background)
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>DRAMATIC IRONY*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>All the villains break into evil laughter until milk squirts out of their noses- even if they weren't drinking any. End prologue.*
 +
 +
Count Gonad: Shut up you a-holes in the back!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Opening credits over a computer-animated background with a cool-ass title thingy*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Elsewhere, on the Golden Cheesecake...*
 +
 +
Lupine is cooking, Que Pasa is dancing, and Krazy Dude is cleaning the crew's quarters. No Name is contemplating something deep, like why does the refrigerator light turn off when you close the door.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: ::spits on Lupine's bed::
 +
 +
Stampede: *SEES KRAZY SPIT ON LUPINE'S BED, DOES THE SAME*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: ::then shits on Lupine's bed, blames shit on raccoon and leaves::
 +
 +
No Name: I'm going to go eat Krazy's feces.
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *eats the bed*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: shows everyone several live rabbits::
 +
 +
No Name: What's this? What stunt are you trying to pull?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Hey guys, why don't giraffes dance?
 +
 +
Scruffy: Um, they'd be better cooked.
 +
 +
Lupine: Oh right, I forgot to cook 'em!
 +
 +
Mini-Myself: I can use the rabbits as horses, yay!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: lights the rabbits on fire with magic:: You happy now, No Name? Now they suffer. Eat!
 +
 +
No Name: No ...*uses Force Lightning*
 +
 +
Scruffy: Um, here Que Pasa!
 +
 +
Mini-Myself: NNNNNOOOOOO my chariots!
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Que Pasa: So Cap'n, any assignments today?
 +
 +
No Name: Yeah, any assignments?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: What's the potato Cap'n?
 +
 +
Scruffy: Yes, let's have a look at ships in the area.
 +
 +
No Name: Okay.
 +
 +
Scruffy: There's that big one...
 +
 +
No Name: Uh-huh!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: The one with the flag that says "All will be killed"?
 +
 +
Scruffy: Yeah, that one.
 +
 +
Stampede: *IS SLEEPING - GUN IN HAND, SO DON'T TRY ANYTHING*
 +
 +
No Name: *puts shaving cream on Stampede's hand and tickles his nose with a feather*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: .... Okay.
 +
 +
Scruffy: Then there's the Midget Pirate Armada...
 +
 +
Stampede: *PUTS GUN TO NO NAME'S EYE*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: somewhere on the deck::
 +
 +
Scruffy: Choose which one you want to attack, crew!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Does anyone ever wonder if midgets' turds are smaller than a normal person's?
 +
 +
No Name: I like the way your barrel looks, have you cleaned it lately?
 +
 +
Stampede: Yeah, I did this morning.
 +
 +
No Name: Okay, cool. (walks away awkwardly)
 +
 +
Stampede: I had to take the blood off of it from last night. *FOLLOWS NO NAME TO THE REST OF THE CREW*
 +
 +
Edwin: That time of the month, huh?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: I like the one with the deadly warning.
 +
 +
Scruffy: Fuck this, SIMPLE PLAN!!!!!!!! (all of a sudden, Bob Sagets rip the ship in half and takes Nemo, Patten, and Lupine down under a gigantic whirlpool)
 +
 +
Stampede: Oh, that was cute Edwin. *PATS ON BACK*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>QUE PASA PATS EDWIN'S ASS*
 +
 +
Lupine: ::walks away from argument and lies down::
 +
 +
Scruffy: GOD DAMN YOU, FUCKING STAMPEDE AND ALCHEMIST, GET WITH THE PROGRAMMA!!!!1
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Yeah. This isn't Telemundo dammit.
 +
 +
Stampede: We already are. You're the one that went for a snack.
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>CAPTAIN HAS SNACK IN HAND*
 +
 +
Scruffy: Oh, right!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>SIMPLE PLAN BOARDS THE SHIP WITH CLONES OF THEM*
 +
 +
No Name: When are you going to learn how to be responsible?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: So that's why we're thigh deep in water.
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates gun* *shoots safe* *grabs gun in safe*
 +
 +
Miss Knight: (walks in) This is preparing you for college, use 3-ring binders!
 +
 +
Scruffy: It wasn't my fault! (recalls screaming out Simple Plan)
 +
 +
Edwin: *aims it at Simple Plan*
 +
 +
Stampede: *PULLS OUT GUN* Shoot to kill, bitches!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *grabs mop and charges* *smacks the lead singer* You suck!!!
 +
 +
Scruffy: (grabs boomstick)
 +
 +
No Name: *grabs lightsaber and runs towards group*
 +
 +
Stampede: *SHOOTS SINGER IN HEAD*
 +
 +
Lupine: Quick question: what in God's name is going on?
 +
 +
Scruffy: Oh, you're alive. Good.
 +
 +
Edwin: *shoots Simple Plan in penis* Cause women shouldn't have penises.
 +
 +
Stampede: *CONTINUES TO FIRE WILDLY AT CLONES*
 +
 +
Lupine: And yeah element power.
 +
 +
Stampede: Crap, there's too many!!
 +
 +
Lupine: I used the water to propel myself up and hit my groin :: holds ice pack::
 +
 +
Scruffy: Nice, fool! Oh I'm sorry, that was great!
 +
 +
Stampede: Krazy Dude!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *throws water on floor and they all trip*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>No Name stops because he feels sorry for them, but he laughs secretly at Simple Plan.*
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates box of razor blades to use as bait to lure the simple plan clones*
 +
 +
Stampede: Nice burn, Edwin! *CONTINUES TO SHOOT CLONES*
 +
 +
No Name: (continues to laugh)
 +
 +
Edwin: Thank you marksman.
 +
 +
Stampede: Marksman is a title, Edwin. DAMN I GOT YOUR NAME RIGHT!! *CRIES*
 +
 +
Edwin: Sorry, I apologize.
 +
 +
Lupine: Time to test this baby out. :: draws sword pole thing:: Let's do this!
 +
 +
Scruffy: They got Patten!!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *squirts pine sol in guitarist's face* MY GRANDMA CAN PLAY BETTER THAN YOU!!!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: cuts carrots and vegetables with 7 foot long pole thing::
 +
 +
No Name: No, Patten!!!!!!
 +
 +
Lupine: ::surrounded:: I'm screwed!
 +
 +
Patten: HELP GUYS..................
 +
 +
Edwin: *shoots*
 +
 +
Stampede: Krazy Dude!! Get your guitar!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Yay!
 +
 +
Scruffy: No, now they got Lupine!!!!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *being dragged away by the clones*
 +
 +
Scruffy: And Que Pasa!
 +
 +
No Name: No QUE PASA!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *grabs guitar*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: rushes at two of them and slices:: Not yet Cap'n, but we can't keep this up!
 +
 +
Stampede: *PULLS OUT BASS*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *Let's do this* !!!
 +
 +
Stampede: Krazy Dude, play Aces High!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *plays*
 +
 +
No Name: Let's save Que Pasa, cause he still owes me money and a rematch.
 +
 +
Stampede: *BEGINS TO PLAY AND THEN SHORTLY AFTER USES FLAMETHROWER END OF BASS* Fine....
 +
 +
Scruffy: Kay, (jumps to save others but attacked by giant sea creature) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
 +
 +
No Name: Dammit, they got us this time!
 +
 +
Stampede: *KILLS MANY CLONES, GRABS QUE PASA*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: spins and slashes all around, Nemo is killed and that puts Lupine in a more cheerful mood::
 +
 +
Edwin: *kicks Simple Plan clones' heads off towards Lupine* Haha, Lupine got head from Simple Plan!
 +
 +
Stampede: YES!!! NOW WE CAN MAKE THOSE JOKES!!
 +
 +
No Name: *swings to ward off clones* they're reproducing faster then Mini-Myself's parents!
 +
 +
Lupine: ::kicks the clones up to the air:: IGNIS!!!!!!!!:: fire sprouts from hands and burns them. Aeolus (a fruity owl) eats the remains::
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *throws heads at the clones*
 +
 +
Lupine: Cap'n, we can't keep this up!
 +
 +
Stampede: *PULLS OUT PAPER AND PEN, MAKES TWO BLACK CRYSTAL LIGHTSABERS* NO NAME!! take this!!
 +
 +
No Name: Alright, thanks but I have one already.
 +
 +
Stampede: Oh yeah.
 +
 +
No Name: But two is better!
 +
 +
Stampede: I drew you one last time, but whatever. Use two, No Name!!
 +
 +
No Name: Okay.
 +
 +
Scruffy: (diverts sea creature to Simple Plan clones, but they overpower the beast and convert it to a 10000 more Simple Plan clones)
 +
 +
Lupine: We gotta give up the ship! Cap'n, do you hear me?
 +
 +
No Name: CAP'N!
 +
 +
Scruffy: Um guys, they are everywhere!
 +
 +
Stampede: *RUSHES IN WITH BLACK CRYSTAL LIGHTSABER*
 +
 +
No Name: (keeps clones at bay for Lupine and Cap to talk dramatically)
 +
 +
Stampede: *HELPS NO NAME*
 +
 +
Scruffy: It's no use, you kill 'em, 10 take their place!
 +
 +
Lupine: We gotta cut our losses, TERRA! :: sea floor opens up:: Send as much of them in!
 +
 +
Scruffy: Okay!
 +
 +
Edwin: *creates wall to hold back the massive amount of gay music creating clones for a few seconds*
 +
 +
Lupine: Hurry it's draining!
 +
 +
Scruffy: Now, Salama, tilt the boat over!!!!
 +
 +
No Name: Dammit, I can't hold them off any longer!
 +
 +
Stampede: SALAMA'S NOT HERE!!!
 +
 +
Scruffy: WHAT!!!!!
 +
 +
Stampede: Edwin!! TILT THIS BOAT!!
 +
 +
Edwin: Yeah.
 +
 +
Scruffy: Well then, we're all screwed.
 +
 +
Stampede: MAKE IT A PINBALL MACHINE OR SOMETHING AND TILT IT!!
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates a Salama dummy made from cow fat..... a lot of cow fat*
 +
 +
Scruffy: Too late! (ship sucked in crack)
 +
 +
No Name: *gives Cap a hammer* Hold this while I nail your wife!
 +
 +
Stampede: Eh No Name, it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good. I'll give you a 3.5 of 5.
 +
 +
No Name: Thanks.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: I'll give you a 3 out of potato salad.
 +
 +
Lupine: ::dramatically holding the seafloor open but it is draining him::
 +
 +
Scruffy: Well, we fell in. Now what?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Who knows?
 +
 +
Stampede: *ACCIDENTALLY SET FIRE TO SHIP AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES AGO*
 +
 +
Edwin: That explains the horrible burning sensation and the 3rd degree burns!
 +
 +
No Name: That's the same  performance I gave your mom in bed! OOOOOH!
 +
 +
Lupine: Guys, this isn't good.
 +
 +
Stampede: Edwin, can you transmutate it to normal?
 +
 +
(Growling can be heard in background)
 +
 +
Scruffy: Oh great, they are still alive. We can't beat 'em. run fast!!!
 +
 +
No Name: Okay!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *runs*
 +
 +
Stampede: OH SHIT EDWIN!!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *fast*
 +
 +
Stampede: RUN!!
 +
 +
Edwin: Transmutate what? *runs*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *!!!*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Scooby-Doo theme song plays in background.*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *throws slippery cleaning material and runs* Ruh roh!
 +
 +
Stampede: ITS ANIPLEX AND SQUARE ENIX!! RUN EDWIN!!!
 +
 +
Edwin: AGHHHH I DON'T WANT TO BE SYNDICATED!!!
 +
 +
Scruffy: (Halo Marine) They got me sir, they got me!
 +
 +
Stampede: *RUNS FROM PIONEER, DISTRIBUTORS OF TRIGUN*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: covers ground with ice that melts quickly::
 +
 +
No Name: NO CAP speak to ME!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: CAAAAP'N!!!
 +
 +
Scruffy: Crap, here, take this fools! (throws grenade)
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *runs from the people who have the aim screenames that he tried to make like this one*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *ferociously tears through a bunch of clones*
 +
 +
Stampede: OK QUICK UPDATE: ME AND EDWIN ARE CURRENTLY NOT HELPING! WE ARE RUNNING! WE WILL BACK SHORTLY!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: slices five more::
 +
 +
No Name: Okay.
 +
 +
Edwin: *claps hands* *tranmutates desert eagles and hands on to Stampede*
 +
 +
Scruffy: (grenade does not go off)DEFECTIVE GRENADE, DEFECTIVE GRENADE!!!!!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: EVERYONE STAY BACK!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *sucks up flames from Cap'n's body into his nose, then blasts his fire at the ground around the clones; The piece of ground they stand on falls to the center of the earth**
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Not that!
 +
 +
No Name: Man, talk about drugs toasting your brain!
 +
 +
Stampede: *SHOOTS THE HELL OUT OF ANIPLEX EXECS* GO HELP THEM EDWIN!
 +
 +
Scruffy: Where's Mr. T? We need his BFGs! Only his guns can take them all out at once. It's the only way to win!
 +
 +
Stampede: *KILLS PIONEER AND SE EXECS*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Square-Enix execs grab Krazy, and his eyes start to get anime-ish. His hair gets spikier.*
 +
 +
Stampede: NO!!!
 +
 +
No Name: Damn, how deep is the earth?........ *ends up in China*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *goes around eating the rest of the clones*
 +
 +
Lupine: Square Enix? You fuckers! :: slice 3 execs:: Where the fuck is Advent?
 +
 +
Scruffy: Where is he!?!?!
 +
 +
Stampede: *DESTROYS ANIPLEX EXECS*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *does chin sign*
 +
 +
Stampede: Krazy Dude!
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Gorenicus: Dammit, they're besting our traps!
 +
 +
Count Gonad: Don't worry. They won't last much longer.
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Edwin: *helps Stampede and kicks execs in the nuts*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *exec is chewing on Krazy's foot* *clothes look flashy and all anime style*
 +
 +
No Name: Dammit, where could they be coming from?!?!?!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Que Pasa lunges at the exec and they fight like lions.*
 +
 +
Stampede: *SHOOTS EXEC'S HEAD, BULLET GOES THROUGH AND SHOOTS KRAZY IN FOOT*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Ow!
 +
 +
Scruffy: (shoots three in a row with boomstick)
 +
 +
No Name: (throws a steak in the middle of Que Pasa's fight)
 +
 +
Stampede: Sorry Krazy Dude!
 +
 +
Lupine: We can't keeps this up! :: holds up cuts in arm::
 +
 +
Scruffy: (Burns 11 with Fire Wall )
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *hair goes back to normal*
 +
 +
Lupine: I've already lost use of my left arm for now.
 +
 +
Stampede: They almost got you, Krazy Dude!
 +
 +
Edwin: *shoots execs in the nuts* HAHA NUT SHOTS!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *polygons exit body and, he becomes flesh again*
 +
 +
Edwin: BITCH I DON'T GOTTA CLAPS MY HANDS FOR THAT!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: Here's the source!
 +
 +
No Name: *slices and does fancy acrobatics*
 +
 +
Scruffy: everybody, they are too many! Huddle up! Stampede, inject me with your flamethrower.
 +
 +
Lupine: :: uses right arm and summons...... a pine tree:: That will hold them off. So many of them.
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *points to a giant potato that produces Simple Plan clones, Square Enix execs and Aniplex execs like crazy*
 +
 +
Stampede: Umm... *USES NEEDLE OF BASS TO INJECT CAP'N*
 +
 +
No Name: How will we take that potato down?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Not the potato!
 +
 +
Edwin: *claps hands* *destroys wall of cargo to fall on clones*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *Starts tearing through the potato*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: NOT THAT!!! Oh, but Simple Plan's still here.
 +
 +
Gary Coleman: Whatchou talkin' bout?
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *snaps Gray Coleman's neck with his feet*
 +
 +
No Name: Que Pasa, I like your thinking! That's why I leave this stuff to you.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Oh shit, I said it again!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>More clones come from behind.*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: You guys take the potato, I'll take care of these guys! I've got a score to settle.
 +
 +
Stampede: Edwin transmutate some ammo and paper for me, and a good pen! Not that cheap one you always give me!
 +
 +
No Name: Dammit that potato is just a distraction!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: does the rising dragon and kills 5 clones:: Only one thing I can do!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Gary Coleman's neck straightens.*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: points two fingers in the air:: This is the last of my strength.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: This is for "Welcome to my Life"!!!! *kicks clone in face and knocks his head off*
 +
 +
Lupine: DIVINE LIGHTNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 +
 +
No Name: *helps Que Pasa and slashes fancy and dramatically with two lightsabers*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Gary Coleman whistles, and the rest of the villains drop down.*
 +
 +
Stampede: EDWIN!!
 +
 +
No Name: STAMPEDE!
 +
 +
Stampede: I need that ammo and paper now!! And a G2!!
 +
 +
Duck-Hand: Take us to your captain.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *reawakens Old Krazy Dude (as seen in blog on my MySpace)*
 +
 +
No Name: HURRY UP WITH THAT AMMO AND PAPER!
 +
 +
Edwin: *claps hands* *modifies Stampede's gun with higher caliber bullets*
 +
 +
Stampede: Sweet!!
 +
 +
Patten McGroin: *randomly laughs alot*
 +
 +
Stampede: I still need that paper though.
 +
 +
Lupine: :: brings down fingers and lightning comes after killing 20 clones but is no use, more clones come and take their place. Lupine collapses from over taxing his body::
 +
 +
Stampede: Guys wait!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *cracks clone's neck*
 +
 +
Stampede: WAIT!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *starts to eat Lupine's remains*
 +
 +
No Name: *uses Force powers to lift Lupine to safety*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Damn that was a quick battle I guess.
 +
 +
Stampede: Maybe if they take Lupine they'll leave us alone!
 +
 +
Lupine: I'm still alive!
 +
 +
No Name: Bad Que Pasa!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: It was worth a try.
 +
 +
No Name: We house trained you to do this outside!
 +
 +
Stampede: Maybe if they take Lupine, they'll leave us alone!
 +
 +
No Name: Dammit Stampede, we're not uncivilized anymore! Sacrifices don't please the gods!
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates paper and ammo*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *offers Lupine to clones*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>CLONES ACCEPT, LUPINE IS TAKEN WITH CLONES*
 +
 +
Lead Singer: Excellent, now we can slit our wrists with someone other than each other and listen to each other bitch about how bad our actually easy lives are!
 +
 +
Stampede: Damn, now we need to save Lupine! But after lunch. Edwin, can you transmutate me a burger? I would do it myself, but you still haven't taught me how to transmutate food.
 +
 +
Edwin: I need fat! (slams Lupine's face to the floor and transmutes a burger)
 +
 +
No Name: Harsh! Lemme get some though.
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>All the villains grab the Cap'n and take him into the potato*
 +
 +
No Name: CAPPPPP!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>The potato grows wheels and laser cannons The potato drives forward, shooting at the crew while trying to run them over.*
 +
 +
No Name: (dodges potato and creates force field around himself to deflect bullets)
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *charges at potato and picks up conveniently placed javelin, then jumps into the air and chucks the javelin at the center of the potato*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>A hatch in the potato opens, and all the random celebrities pour out.*
 +
 +
Gonad: That should keep them busy. Now... to the spot of Bob Saget's death!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *gasp*
 +
 +
No Name: GASPUUUUUU
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>The potato's wheels turn into rockets and it flies away.*
 +
 +
Lupine: ::falls out of potato::
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Where's the cap'n?
 +
 +
No Name: They abducted HIM. DAMMIT!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: NOOOO!!!!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: (hanging onto the side of the potato) CAAAP'N!!!
  
 
==Part II: Old Enemies==
 
==Part II: Old Enemies==
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: CAP'N Y!?!?!?!?
 +
 +
Stampede: Why'd you slam Lupine's face Ed? *CHEWS ON BURGER*
 +
 +
Edwin: Needed meat, and Salama wasn't there. Too lazy to waste an extra sec in the transmutation.
 +
 +
Stampede: *SPITS OUT BURGER*
 +
 +
No Name: We're useless, how couldn't we save the Cap'n?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: You bastards! *points to the celebrities* How dare you kidnap our Cap'n!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: wakes up groggily:: Cap'n... ::holding arm barely walking:: CAPN!!!!!!!! My magic wasn't good enough. I'm sorry, my friend. ::cries::
 +
 +
No Name: Everyone, we just lost our only real good story writer Que Pasa so we need to be quick on our feet!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Where is he?
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Mr. Noble: (sees Que Pasa on a surveillance camera) Looks like we have a guest.
 +
 +
Gorenicus: I'll destroy him myself
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
No Name: OFF TO FIND QUE PASA AND CAP!
 +
 +
Lupine: I'll save them.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Where's our first mate and Cap'n!?
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Que Pasa and Gorenicus duel on top of the speeding potato*
 +
 +
Lupine: I failed as second mate!
 +
 +
No Name: All GCPA, hold hands and skip on Yellow Brick Road!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Yay!
 +
 +
Stampede: I'll help you, No Name!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Or we can make Lupine's powers useful.
 +
 +
Lupine: :: encounters Bill Cosby:: Everyone go on, I'll hold him off!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Summon your fruity bird dammit!
 +
 +
Lupine: Just go, and my magic was over used. Anymore and I could die.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Fuck!
 +
 +
Stampede: *USES TELEPORTER, WAITS FOR THE REST OF THE CREW*
 +
 +
No Name: Transmutate me a cool hover platform!
 +
 +
Edwin: *claps hands* transmutates desert eagles for himself, No Name and Stampede*
 +
 +
Stampede: Yes, I love desert eagles!
 +
 +
Lupine: Just run!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: (runs to teleporter)
 +
 +
Lupine: :: draws staff with one good arm::
 +
 +
No Name: I don't use guns, they're uncivilized.
 +
 +
Stampede: Shut up and use them, No Name. They're more modern.
 +
 +
Lupine: GO DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *picks up mop*
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Gorenicus: (flings feces at Que Pasa)
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>weird noise goes off*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: EXPERIENCE ACQUIRED
 +
 +
No Name: Give me a platform to use my Force powers to levitate and fly off!
 +
 +
<nowiki>::</nowiki>Cosby rushes at Lupine::
 +
 +
Stampede: Technically swords and lightsabers are more uncivilized.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: WEAPON LEVEL UP
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Que Pasa: (catches the feces in nose cannon and fires them back at Gorenicus until he falls off the side of the potato)
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Stampede: HAHA...technicalities!
 +
 +
Edwin: ARE YOU SAYING THAT SHOOTING AND HARMING PEOPLE SERIOUSLY ISN'T CIVILIZED?
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>The potato lands on the moon*
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: MOP BLADE ACQUIRED
 +
 +
No Name: Fine (uses Force powers to fly off in a Neo "The One" Matrix style) I'm coming Que Pasa!
 +
 +
Edwin: Well I don't think you're a scientist now are you!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: How are we gunna reach the potato?
 +
 +
Cosby: Lupine, we meet again! This time no one can eat me.
 +
 +
Lupine: As a chef, I will be the one.
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>All the villains rush out with the restrained captain and rush towards the remains of Bob Saget's fortress*
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Where should we search?
 +
 +
No Name: I'm almost there, just hold on a little longer!
 +
 +
Stampede: *TRANSMUTATES CUP OF COFFEE*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Stampede, what do we do?!
 +
 +
Stampede: Edwin I did it! I can transmutate food and drink.
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates sugar* Want some?
 +
 +
Stampede: *TRANSMUTATES WHISKEY* Only if its equal, dh!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Our giraffes have been eaten and our Garfields fluffed!!!
 +
 +
Edwin: Let's make this coffee Irish....
 +
 +
No Name: (sends Force telepathy) Edwin, Stamp you guys are lazy!
 +
 +
Stampede: Wheres the equal, Ed?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: You guys are crappy crew mates, yo.
 +
 +
Stampede: If I understood what the hell was goin on...
 +
 +
Edwin: I shaved No Name's hair off without him knowing.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Where are you No Name!!!
 +
 +
No Name: Finally I made it... Oh wait, I'm on Mars not the moon!
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Count Gonad, Captain Duck-Hand Frzlngd, The Mounty and Mr. Noble strap Scruffy to Bob Saget's deathbed.*
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Lupine: ::grabs his weapon, but his arm is still wounded so he flinches, Cosby takes advantage and covers him in jello::
 +
 +
Cosby: What are you gonna do now, what with the jello surrounding and the fact that I'm fricken crazy?
 +
 +
Lupine: ::chuckles then screams:: AEOLUS!
 +
 +
No Name: Okay, finally right planet!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Yes!
 +
 +
Stampede: Ahh yes, that's right!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>An owl flies to the pirates.*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: (boards the bird) Everyone onto the fruity bird now!!!
 +
 +
Stampede: *SHOOTS CUTE RABBIT*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: an owl flies down and begins eating Cosby::
 +
 +
No Name: QUE PASA CAP'N! WHERE ARE YOU?
 +
 +
Stampede: Where are we now?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Getting onto Lupine's fruity wind spirit to go to the moon! And find our cap'n and first mate!
 +
 +
Stampede: *GETS ON WITH EDWIN* Let's go!!!
 +
 +
Edwin: *claps hands* *and plays pitty pat with random school shild*
 +
No Name: AND HOW ARE WE ABLE TO BREATH IN THIS NO ATMOSPHERE ENVIORNMENT
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *tries to be stealthy and hide his presence from the villains, only to set off a nuclear explosion*
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *flies off and they reach the moon, and head into the moon base*
 +
 +
Edwin: YAY!!!!!
 +
 +
No Name: *sees nuclear explosion* This could mean two things- either Salama farted, or Que Pasa tried to be stealthy.
 +
 +
Stampede: Yeah I'm gonna do a stealth mission!
 +
 +
Edwin: YAY!
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Count Gonad: We have an intruder!
 +
 +
Mr. Noble: And he doesn't look like he's written any essays recently...
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Edwin: YAY!
 +
 +
Stampede: Edwin, can I have a silencer please?
 +
 +
Edwin: *makes silencer*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *yells* We must be stealthy and not get caught!!!
 +
 +
Stampede: Are you rushing or stealthing, Ed?
 +
 +
Lupine: :: screams:: I will not fail my crew!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>LUPINE FAILS HIS CREW*
 +
 +
Lupine: I'M SORRY GUYS, THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN OUR LAST GOOD BYE!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: I will fight you to the end! *fights The Mounty*
 +
 +
Gonad: Forget that damn Canadian! Proceed with the ceremony!
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates horse to fuck Lupine up the ass, then horse dies*
 +
 +
No Name: Not if I'm there to see it!
 +
 +
Lupine: AEOLUS, IGNIS, TERRA, AQUAS!
 +
 +
No Name: jumps *in at last minute all cool and helps Que Pasa*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *runs into the base retardedly screaming in jibberish*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: THIS IS FOR RAMONE *does some cool sword trick that ends with The Mounty falling apart into hundreds of pieces*
 +
 +
No Name: Hey Que Pasa, where did you learn that?
 +
 +
Que Pasa: From your mom!
 +
 +
No Name: OUCH!
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Lupine: :: a quad of magic hits Cosby and the owl killing them both and leaving Lupine on the floor collapsed::
 +
 +
----
 +
 +
Stampede: *puts gun to the back of Gonad's head* Stay still, fucker!
 +
 +
Gonad: Oh I'm good at this game. Lindsey Lohan?
 +
 +
Stampede: Guess again.....
 +
 +
Edwin: LINDSEY LOHAN IS LIKE MR STRETCH!!! That bitch is skinny and can fit anywhere!
 +
 +
Count Gonad: That's corny. The only person other then Lindsey Lohan who would do this is Stampede the Marksman!
 +
 +
Stampede: *DING DING DING DING DING*
 +
 +
Stampede: You won, Gonad!! Here's your prize!!  *GIVES GONAD A VESPA SCOOTER* *then shoots him in the arm*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *charges at Mr. Noble* *bounces off his big fuckin stomach*
 +
 +
No Name: *runs to save cap'n* CAP'N!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: water starts to bubble up beneath Lupine swallowing him up and making him disappear::
 +
 +
Edwin: *claps hand* *gets water and transmutates it to ice to make the irsh coffee an irish coffee coolatta*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Noble throws old essay papers that he "lost" at krazy dude*
 +
 +
No Name: Oh no, it's those 2-bit characters from Aqua Teen Hunger Force- the green and pinkish one!
 +
 +
Duck-Hand: (holds the duck beak at Scurffy's neck) NOBODY MOVE!!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *gasp*
 +
 +
Lupine: ::appears back and barely standing:: What I miss?
 +
 +
Stampede: Ed! Gimme an Irish Coffee Coolata quickly!!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Gonad sings nursery rhymes as he rides the scooter around. Then he explodes.*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Don't do it Duck-Hand!!
 +
 +
Lupine: Duck Hand? :: looks:: Oh him!
 +
 +
Edwin: *throws cup dramatically. Then remembers about gravity*
 +
 +
Stampede: *DRINKS COOLATA* *EVERYTHING STOPS*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>cup hits ground and explodes*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Everything goes in slow motion, and Stampede move fast like Fry in that episode of Futurama*
 +
 +
Stampede: *CUTS DUCK-HAND'S BEAK OFF*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Stampede nods at a bird, and everything returns to normal.*
 +
 +
Duck-Hand: NO MY DUCK!!! (replaces with spare chicken)
 +
 +
Que Pasa: I think that's all of them!
 +
 +
No Name: You have nowhere to go now, Duck-Hand!
 +
 +
Duck Hand: You're too late! ::points to Scruffy's slit wrists and to the now-shaking earth::
  
 
==Part III: Saget's Revenge==
 
==Part III: Saget's Revenge==
 +
 +
Duck Hand: He lives!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Wait- where's Noble!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: (Mr. Noble leaps onto his back and begins vibrating spastically) AHHHH
 +
 +
No Name: QUE PASA I'LL HELP YOU!
 +
 +
Stampede: WATCH FOR HIS PURPLE NOSE ATTACK!! NO NAME!!! WATCH OUT!!
 +
 +
<nowiki>::</nowiki>Saget jumps back much more powerful than before::
 +
 +
No Name: *THROWS LIGHT SABER AND GOES THROUGH MR.NOBLE BUT ACCIDENTALLY GOES THROUGH QUE PASA*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: (thrusts mop into Noble's stomach)
 +
 +
Lupine: ::kicks Noble in face::
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>The light saber and mop puncture Noble's stomach. Noble's stomach explodes*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *passes out*
 +
 +
No Name: LET'S SAVE THE CAPTAIN!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: points to Scruffy tied up and Saget about to eat him::
 +
 +
No Name: This...this can't be.
 +
 +
Lupine: We failed!
 +
 +
Scruffy: (wakes up) What the hell is going......... Oh. AHHHH!!!!!! I'M ABOUT TO BE EATEN!!!!
 +
 +
Edwin: *grabs Saget by face and explodes it internally*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Saget's face is reformed.*
 +
 +
Edwin: He's like that metal guy in Terminator!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>All the random celebrities return*
 +
 +
Winkler: Eyyy!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: All we can do is eat a ham sandwich and sing a rousing verse of Kumbaya!
 +
 +
Edwin: !!!!
 +
 +
No Name: Only one thing left to do- find all seven Black Star Dragon Balls.
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *strangles No Name*
 +
 +
Stampede: DAMN I WANTED SCAR'S POWER!! NO FAIR ED!! YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: This isn't the time to leave the Cap'n here by himself!
 +
 +
Lupine: Guys, we are surrounded by every evil power we have ever fought. Saget is back stronger than ever. We are tired and wounded. It's been a pleasure serving with you all. Let's make this the crew's final stand! Let's do this!
 +
 +
Scruffy: So, what you're saying is... we're all screwed.
 +
 +
No Name: NO NEVER!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *shoves a bunch of celebrities in front of Saget, then unbinds the captain and runs off with him*
 +
 +
Lupine: Let's say our good byes and fight.
 +
 +
Scruffy: Fine, then CHARGE!!!!!!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Hey Stampede.
 +
 +
No Name: Did the Cap'n give up hope when he realized we are all useless? No I don't think so, so let's now give up.... for the CAP'N!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: What?
 +
 +
Scruffy: (falls asleep)
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Mind if I try your time slow-mo thingy, Stampede?
 +
 +
Stampede: Sure, here's the Coolata.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Yay!
 +
 +
Stampede: Use it well, Krazy!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *drinks Coolata, saves some*
 +
 +
Scruffy: Oooh, give me some!!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *gives some to Scruffy and the rest to Lupine* That's for homeroom.
 +
 +
No Name: I never though I would have to do this, but........*conjures up all emotions and memories of past*
 +
 +
Stampede: Damn, I don't have enough equal for it to work!
 +
 +
Scruffy: I feel good, dara dara dara!
 +
 +
Lupine: Time to overtax myself to the point of death.
 +
 +
Que Pasa : *runs around on fire*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: fully healed::
 +
 +
Stampede: If you bring me some equal, everybody can use my slow-mo coffee.
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>No Name gets mad and goes to the dark side.*
 +
 +
Stampede: Oh no you don't!! *PULLS NO NAME BACK, DARK MUSIC GOES AWAY*
 +
 +
No Name: Stamp, it's the only way we'll win!
 +
 +
Lupine: Shut up!
 +
 +
Stampede: Well let me help you then.
 +
 +
Lupine: No name, no!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *uncuts rope and cuts it again in cool slow-mo action*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *dropkicks Justin Timberlake, bashes Urkel and Screech's heads together, then eats Tiger Woods*
 +
 +
Lupine: If we must die, then let it be with honor.
 +
 +
Stampede: Two will be better then one!
 +
 +
Scruffy: Nay! We'll win together, or all of you will fall and I will live! That's how it goes.
 +
 +
Stampede: Don't worry, we won't hurt you guys! Let's go, No Name...
 +
 +
No Name: Okay.
 +
 +
Stampede: *EVIL MUSIC PLAYS*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Okay Cap'n, let's do this!
 +
 +
Lupine: ::holds staff and gets in stance:: Let's do this.
 +
 +
No Name: Let's go!
 +
 +
Stampede: We'll be back soon, guys! *GOES TO DARK SIDE*
 +
 +
No Name: Where are we going?
 +
 +
Que Pasa: Disney World.
 +
 +
No Name: Okay.
 +
 +
Scruffy: Take out your most powerful weapons now!!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *heavy metal music plays*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *shoves the cast of Cheers into his nose and blasts them at Saget*
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates candle and lights it* *manipulates it to become a flame thrower*
 +
 +
Lupine: ::rushes at Whoopi and the Power Rangers and slashes them but they survive::
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *charges at the Backstreet Boys*
 +
 +
No Name: (takes out white and black crystal saber)
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *shoves Frasier's head up David Spade's ass*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: (unleashes inner shao lin janitor!!!)
 +
 +
Stampede: We need to hurt one of our crew members to show them we're really turning bad, No Name.
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>NO NAME AND STAMPEDE PUNCH LUPINE*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: dodges barely:: I'm on your side!
 +
 +
Stampede: No you aren't. You must stay here and help the crew. Use your elements.
 +
 +
Lupine: Stampede, I know we've had our differences.
 +
 +
No Name: *lets emotions and thoughts control all and goes to the dark side* ...I'm doing this for the GCPA!
 +
 +
Stampede: More than two will make them suspicious.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *360 flips over one backstreet boy and cracks his head*
 +
 +
Lupine: Don't do this!
 +
 +
Stampede: *DOES THE SAME AS NO NAME*
 +
 +
Lupine: Don't sacrifice yourself! Nooooooooooooo!
 +
 +
No Name: I won't let you hurt my crew ARGGGGG!
 +
 +
Stampede: Wow, that's gay!
 +
 +
(Star Wars music plays in the background)
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *backflip kicks one in the face and lands on top of the other's shoulders*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Someone rushes in and slams Stampede and No Name's heads together*
 +
 +
Mr. T: How come you fools throw a party and not invite Mr. T?
 +
 +
Stampede: *FIGHTS WHILE DIZZY*
 +
 +
Edwin: *destroys ground under Backstreet Boys while one of them falls in and screams in a highpitched homosexual way*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *does spinning jump and cracks other's neck*
 +
 +
Lupine: My greatest rival and truest friend on the crew. Stampede!!!!!!!!!!!
 +
 +
Stampede: Man, if I didn't take that pot I could stand the head injury!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *whips out mop blade and slashes one's head off and stabs it with spear*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>TWO BROTHERS SONG PLAYS IN BACKGROUND.*
 +
 +
Scruffy: That's it, flame TEMPEST!!!!!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: elements flow through body::
 +
 +
No Name: (recovers from injury and fights recklessly with unfathomable strength)
 +
 +
Lupine: I'll kill you all!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>With Mr. T helping the pirates, more and more celebrities fall*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *bashes the head against the other one and then slashes through his stomach*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>NO NAME AND STAMPEDE CONTINUE TO FIGHT THE DARK SIDE*
 +
 +
Stampede: YOU GUYS CAN HELP AT ANY MOMENT!! *GETS PUNCHED IN GUT*
 +
 +
Lupine: :: rushes at as many as possible and spins blade in Cid fashion and slices all in his way beserkly:: I will avenge you!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *eats the Dark Side* Happy?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *comes to help Stampede and No Name* Damn I was late!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Real Folk Blues slowly fades in. Faye flashes some boob and assssss.*
 +
 +
No Name: You can't eat the dark side!
 +
 +
Scruffy: No, but I can set it ablaze!
 +
 +
Lupine: IGNIS! ::a blast of fire escapes Lupine's hands::
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>NO NAME AND STAMPEDE SAY SIMULTANEOUSLY* VICIOUS!!!!
 +
 +
No Name: Arggggggg!
 +
 +
Stampede: And Jet!?
 +
 +
Lupine: ::killing Whoopi:: That was for No Name!
 +
 +
Edwin: *claps hands and gives Faye even bigger chesticles*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: how many celebrities are there!?
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>JET IS NOW VICIOUS' ALLY*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *tosses some dog food on Richard Simmons, causing Whoopi Goldberg to tackle him*
 +
 +
Edwin: HAHA Jet with his automail. Reminds me of my dad... *violin plays*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: More than one.
 +
 +
Scruffy: (boomsticks Jet)
 +
 +
Stampede: No Name, who are you gonna take? Jet or Vicious?
 +
 +
Lupine: AEOLUS:: spins blade and blows away david spade:: That was for Stampede.
 +
 +
Edwin: *fights Jet*
 +
 +
No Name: Beats me, I'll just swing until there's no enemy left standing.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: (brings in the Candle Dude) BUTTERCUPS!!!!
 +
 +
Lupine: This is for me!
 +
 +
Stampede: Yeah...I'll fight Vicious. *PULLS OUT KATANA BLADE*
 +
 +
Scruffy: No Name, stay on the light side!
 +
 +
No Name: No Capn', it's too late for me! Save yourself!
 +
 +
Scruffy: If you go over to the dark side, sure the ladies will like you and you'll be cool, but then you would be evil!
 +
 +
Lupine: TERRA! ::begins to focus energy to a pit and open it::
 +
 +
Stampede: Hmm haven't used this in a while!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: is hit in the back of the head by Noble::
 +
 +
Edwin: *block punch by grabbing his fist and destroys his automail*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Candle Dude throws buttercup-scented candle grenade at massive amounts of enemies*
 +
 +
Stampede: This should be fun! *GETS INTO FIGHTING STANCE*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Where is Saget?
 +
 +
Bob Saget: (buying drugs from McCauley Culkin)
 +
 +
Lupine: Stampede, if you're still in there...
 +
 +
Stampede: What, Lupine? *GETS CUT ON FACE BY VICIOUS* Damnit!!
 +
 +
No Name: (lurking, he escaped to plan his next attack)
 +
 +
Lupine: Dor one final time... ::draws out katanas:: Let's do this as partners!
 +
 +
Stampede: *CONTINUES TO FIGHT VICIOUS* No, I have to do this alone! It's my fight! It's my problem.
 +
 +
Lupine: Then I'll cover you! :: blocks knives bullet with sword breaking blade::
 +
 +
Stampede: Thanks, Lupine. *CONTINUES TO FIGHT VICIOUS*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Que Pasa! Cap'n!
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates katana and impales Jet*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Bob Saget then merges himself with the life stream of Earth and "One-Winged Angel" starts playing.*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: (hums) THE REAL FOLK BLUUUUUUUUES (brained by P Diddy)
 +
 +
Scruffy: (Shoots jet)
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>BOB SAGET IS NOW A COOL LOOKING ANGEL THAT IS THE EPITOME OF EVIL.</nowiki>
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *kicks Shredder off a roof into a garbage truck*
 +
 +
Lupine: ::grabs staff:: As long as I'm alive, none of my friends will die!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>All of a sudden Dave Coulier, John Stamos, and Ashley Olsen come out of nowhere dressed like Yazoo, Kadaj, and Loz.*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Jet falls while screaming supporting words to Vicious.
 +
 +
Lupine: ::Cid and Vincent run in:: Back-up finally came! :: Wally enters with ADD::
 +
 +
No Name: Let's do this!!!!!!!
 +
 +
Scruffy: UNFRIENDLY FIRE!!!!(A FIRE SEEKS OUT ALL CELEBRETIES AND THEY ALL DIE)
 +
 +
(10:06:50 PM) Stampede has died.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Stampede!!!! Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!
 +
 +
Scruffy: We lost him...
 +
 +
Lupine: Stampede NOOOOOOOOOOO! :: goes berserk::
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Stop taking my lines!!!
 +
 +
Lupine: I'll kill you all...
 +
 +
Stampede: Bang.
 +
 +
(10:07:23 PM) Stampede is alive again.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Yay he's back!!!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: Dammit!
 +
 +
No Name: That was a beautiful death. I wanted to die like that.
 +
 +
Lupine: :: runs madly at everyone he sees and slices them::
 +
 +
No Name: (starts crying)
 +
 +
Stampede: No Name!! *GOES TO NO NAME* Damnit!!! ED!!!!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *caught in a dramatic sword duel with Whitney Houston*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *big-ass battle ensues*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Bob Saget, now known as Safer Saget the Cool-Looking Angel of Death, summons Supernova.*
 +
 +
Lupine: No, I wont let you!
 +
 +
Edwin: WHAT!
 +
 +
Stampede: ED!!! Help No Name out!!
 +
 +
Lupine: AEOLUS, IGNIS, AQUAS, TERRA!
 +
 +
Edwin: *kicks Saget in shin, dropping him*
 +
 +
Stampede: I'll make the Philosopher's Stone!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: holds off super nova but barely:: End this fast!
 +
 +
Stampede: *DRAWS PHILOSOPHER'S STONE* ED COME ON!!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *goes into a blind rage*
 +
 +
Stampede: NO NAME IS DYING!!!
 +
 +
Lupine: I can't hold it off forever! (begins to lose ground)
 +
 +
No Name: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO........ (USES LIMIT BREAK OMNIPOTENT SLASH, FLASHES IN BRIGHT PRETTY COLORS AND RUSHES TOWARDS SAFER SAGET)
 +
 +
Edwin: *runs and slides towards Stampede, claps hands and places them on ground*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>NO NAME IS BROUGHT BACK WITH NO WOUNDS*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *charges at Coulier, Olsen, and Stamos with mop blade and swipes the three of them off of a random cliff with mop blade.*
 +
 +
No Name: (COLLIDES WITH SAFER SAGET AND CAUSES A COOL EXPLOSION)
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: NO NAME!!!!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: supernova remains and Lupine is charged at by Vicious::
 +
 +
Stampede: Fuck man!! NO NAME WE JUST HEALED YOU!! TAKE IT EASY!!
 +
 +
Edwin: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *transmutates air.....shuddup*ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Safer Saget and No Name fall towards the floor in a cool anime style.*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: WHERE'S OUR FIRST MATE!?
 +
 +
<nowiki>::</nowiki>Lupine looks over to see Vicious's sword::
 +
 +
Stampede: Oh my God!! No Name just fell in a way that would normally paralyze somebody!! But he's perfectly OK!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Oh my god!
 +
 +
Stampede: He's only bleeding from his lip!! And has a bruised eye!!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Hey Stampede, do you want to try it too?
 +
 +
No Name: Only one thing left to do, get the Black Star Dragon Balls.
 +
 +
Stampede: Don't try it, Krazy Dude!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Awww, why not?
 +
 +
Stampede: Here, use this No Name! *DRAWS DRAGON RADAR* Find the Dragonballs No Name!! *GIVES NO NAME DRAGON RADAR*
 +
 +
<nowiki>:</nowiki>: life seems to escape Lupine's eyes as the sword is thrusted into his stomach::
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: No, Lupine!!!
 +
 +
<nowiki>:</nowiki>: Lupine's spell begins to fade and Super Nova continues its path::
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates alchemic blunts and tye dye shirt* No Name try this!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *rushes to Vicious and sends him flying with a flying kick*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *leaps on Bob Saget and bites his abdomen*
 +
 +
No Name: Krazy Dude, use your time stopping drink to collect the Dragon Balls!
 +
 +
Stampede: Heyheyhey its my drink man! That's not cool.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *uses time stopping drink* There was some left.
 +
 +
Stampede: There's a copyright on it!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: I stole it in homeroom!
 +
 +
<nowiki>:</nowiki>:Lupine's eyes close and he hits the ground and is not getting up, the sword still in his stomach; Crew concludes that Lupine is dead::
 +
 +
Que Pasa: Do I get the owl?
 +
 +
No Name: GO KRAZY DUDE, GO! THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE DEPENDS ON IT!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *collects the Dragon Balls in what would normally be 30 seconds* What do I do with these!?
 +
 +
Stampede: Yo Ed, lemme get one of those blunts. The buzz from my last blunt is wearing off.
 +
 +
Edwin: No prob BRA!
 +
 +
Stampede: *SMOKES BLUNT*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *gets high on painkillers* That's it Bob Saget, it's time to end this! *grows wings* I'M A BEAR!!!
 +
 +
No Name: (to Krazy Dude) Just place them on the floor and do something to summon the dragon.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: What should I wish for!? Someone give me some advice.
 +
 +
No Name: For Bob Saget to have never existed!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *thumbwrestles with Bob Saget*
 +
 +
Lupine: <----------- not getting up
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Que Pasa, can you take him or should I wish him out of existence?
 +
 +
Saget: Ha. Ha. Haha. You can't stop me now.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *throws Pine Sol that miraculously heals Lupine*
 +
 +
Lupine: ::gets up:: I saw the light.
 +
 +
No Name: Yeah, it's called the Sun.
 +
 +
Lupine: It was so cold. My crew needs me.
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates a bat to hit Lupine in the back of the head with* YOU SEE THE LIGHT NOW!!!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Que Pasa pins Bob Saget's thumb, but a second thumb sprouts from the same hand and strangles him*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: That's it! I must wish Saget out of existence.
 +
 +
No Name: Do it, Krazy Dude! It's the only way!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: No, don't!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Que? Pasa?
 +
 +
Que Pasa: Something even eviler will take his place!
 +
 +
No Name: Que pasa, Que Pasa?
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Good point, maybe I should wish for a pony instead.
 +
 +
No Name: But there's a giant Supernova coming this way that will destroy this entire solar system!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>NEMO ENTERS BUT QUICKLY EXPLODES BLINDING SAGET AND ALLOWING QUE PASA TO WIN THE THUMB-WRESTLING MATCH*
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>After losing, Bob Saget explodes.*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: That was easy!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Too easy!
 +
 +
Lupine: ::Super Nova remains:: Guys...
 +
 +
No Name: Wish the Supernova gone, Krazy Dude!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: *looks up to see a meteor coming to the now crater that was the battle ground*
 +
 +
Que Pasa: Quick, onto the potato!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Ahhhhh!!!!
 +
 +
Edwin: YES!! WHOS UP FOR SOME ALCHEMIC PLATANOS!!!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: is hit to the floor::
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: I WISH THE SUPER NOVA AND THE METEOR WERE GONE!!!!!!!!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Everyone escapes in the giant potato just at the last possible second; howver, Gary Coleman sneaks up from behind.*
 +
 +
No Name: Man, that was too close........But what had become of Bob Saget?
 +
 +
Que Pasa: He done blown up!
 +
 +
Stampede: Yo Ed, lemme get some alchemic arroz con gandules y bistec!
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Hey guys, does anyone else realize that I'm sane right now? .......
 +
 +
No Name: Is that it? I thought it was something more deep and philosophical.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Chicken tenders!!!!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>So the Golden Cheesecake returns to the seas*
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Hey Que Pasa, who's that short black dude behind you?
 +
 +
No Name: The real enemy here is time....That's right, time! Bob Saget was only a pawn of the greater enemy.......TIME......It controls us and holds us tightly in her iron grip!
 +
 +
Que Pasa: *plugs No Name's mouth with Gary Coleman's tiny body*
 +
 +
Lupine: As long as the seas are open, and Saget lives...
 +
 +
Que Pasa: He's dead.
 +
 +
Lupine: ...We must sail on.
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Or just the sequel that's not gunna make as much money but be somewhat amusing to read.
 +
 +
Que Pasa: Magic defeats magic, and explosions defear everything. Case closed! *turns into a kid and explodes*
 +
 +
Stampede: *GOES BACK TO SLEEP, STILL HOLDS GUN TO SHOOT THOSE WHO DISTURB**
 +
 +
<nowiki>:</nowiki>: Jebus runs in and rubs Gary Coleman's head for good luck::
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: And so the story ends for now with a big explosion and a game of Uno.
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>The cap'n makes a dramatic ending speech or would if he was actually there*
 +
 +
Edwin: *transmutates hammock*
 +
 +
Stampede: *WILL ACTUALLY SHOOT NO NAME IF HE TRIES ANY TRICK AGAIN*
 +
 +
No Name: Yawn ....saving the universe is hard work! (falls asleep on bed)
 +
 +
Mini-Myself: God bless us, everyone!
 +
 +
Siren: (flashes the audience)
 +
 +
That Krazy Dude: Hooray!
 +
 +
Lupine: :: lies and watches the sun set::
 +
 +
Morgan Freeman: The end!
 +
 +
<nowiki>*</nowiki>Cheesy theme song and credits*
 +
 +
 +
A Wachowski Brothers Production
 +
 +
==Epilogue==
 +
 +
Patten: I was always here. I just sat and laughed.
 +
 +
Que Pasa: He was there in spirit, like Han Solo.
 +
 +
Han Solo:  *walks out of shower* What!?!?!? What did I miss, kid?
  
 
{{GCPA Sidequests}}
 
{{GCPA Sidequests}}

Latest revision as of 16:20, 24 December 2008

Anthologies of GCPA Sidequests
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

Canadian Detour- Featuring Lupine's Owl, Aeolus[edit]

by Scruffy, Que Pasa, Lupine, Stampede, That Krazy Dude and Lupine on September 9, 2005

*Stampede has a gun pointed at Nemo, but withdraws it.*

Stampede: Eh...I'll kill you later.

Nemo: Okay, good!

That Krazy Dude: *then shoots Nemo*

Lupine: I have a hawk now, a vicious one that enjoys eating various parts of Nemo!

Scruffy: Follow me!!!!!! (walks off ship)

That Krazy Dude: Fuck yo hawk!

Que Pasa: Where are we off to today, Cap'n?

Lupine: Me= 12-1000

Scruffy: Hmm, let me see.. (sinks)

Que Pasa: *follows Scruffy off the ship, is carried away by a shark*

Lupine: Yes.

That Krazy Dude: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh????????

Scruffy: Scruffy.....glug glug.......can't....glug.......swim.......glug glug glug

Nemo: Eh what the heck? *shoots himself in the head*

That Krazy Dude: I'll save you captain! *jumps in the opposite direction*

Scruffy: Hel....glug glug...p (floats to bottom to see Titanic, Ricky Martin, Atlantis, and the Power Rangers) AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Stampede: *DOES THE SMART THING BY SHOOTING LIFE PRESERVERS TO THEM*

Lupine: :: kicks them away and then kicks Stampede:: Let's bet money and see how long they last, or until they notice the water is only 5 inches.

Nemo: Hey, let's go on an adventure where I die horribly!

That Krazy Dude: *grabs life preserver and goes back onto land*

Scruffy: (throws Nemo at Power Rangers)

Nemo: No, not them! Aaaaah!

*The shark is grabbed and has its head beaten off by... Henry Winkler!*

Lupine: I bet 1000 on 5 hours!

Stampede: *THROWS LUPINE OVER CAUSE HE WAS GAY AND KICKED ME*

Lupine: (grabs on) You bastard. Today we end this rivalry! Aelous! (an owl appears)

Scruffy: Hey......I just noticed something. We're in a puddle.

*The crew goes back on land.*

That Krazy Dude: Potato?

Que Pasa: *shoves Lupine at Winkler and swims away*

Scruffy: (shoots bird) I got our next dinner! Chef, cook!

That Krazy Dude: Yay!!

Que Pasa: Potato? By Din you're right!

That Krazy Dude: No, by Don. Don King.

Lupine: :: grabs Aeolus and flies off ship but the bird can't make it:: Aeolus!

*A giant sea potato roars towards the crew OMG NOSTALGIA*

Lupine: Noooooooooooooooooooooo! :: casts Aero on him::

That Krazy Dude: No!

Nemo: What does Jupiter have on it, bananas?

Stampede: *SHOOTS MARKO--I MEAN LUPINE'S---STUPID HAWK*

Lupine: Fuck you! :: grabs sword and blocks gun in true Vicious vs. Spike style::

That Krazy Dude: Nemo's trying to take my lines, dammit! I'm the random guy!

Nemo: But I am the dead dude!

Que Pasa: Then die!

That Krazy Dude: Are you trying to be Lupine who's trying to be me?

Scruffy: Damn, bird, I said stay down ! (shoots it with a 0.30mm armor piercing chaingun)

Stampede: Shut up Lupine, I already shot your damn bird, and I got its left wing! So get over it!

Lupine: No.

Nemo: Okay. *jumps off Empire State Building*

Lupine: ::points to Nemo::

Stampede: And cook that damn wing! I need food!

Scruffy: I got its torso! Who wants the head?

That Krazy Dude: Haha, you said head!

Que Pasa : The potato got the rest.

Lupine: Fuck you all! Fountis!

Scruffy: The bird had it coming.

Stampede: Hey, how did Nemo get on the Empire State Building, aren't we in Jersey? Or some other planet?

Nemo: It's simple really.. *collapes* Pichachew.

That Krazy Dude: No we're in Canada.

Lupine: :: a large barricuda comes:: Fountis = Latin for water. Barricuda = Fountis.

Scruffy: Stop speaking German, speak English!

Stampede: I never know where they are....*BOWS HEAD IN SHAME*

*Gary Coleman pulls the cap'n into the potato and escapes laughing maniacally*

Lupine: Fuck not again!

That Krazy Dude: CAPTAIN NOOO!!!!

Que Pasa: NO CAP'N!!!!

Lupine: Aeolus 2 who will be Aeolus One, follow!

That Krazy Dude: Aeolus is gay.

Lupine: Like your mom!

Nemo: Like its master!

That Krazy Dude: And Aeolus is starting to get old on his first day.

Scruffy: And god damn, not you again! (plants a mine in Gary Coleman, shoves Coleman in potato, and jumps off)

Que Pasa: Aw man, no rescue misson?

Lupine: I'm over using him, ehh fine.

That Krazy Dude: Yes you are.

Lupine: I got a job we all can like, him attacking Nemo.

That Krazy Dude: CAP'N'S SAFE!!!

Lupine: Now go!

Nemo: Lupine no.

That Krazy Dude: Anyway! Going on with the story...

::Nemo and bird disappear below deck::

Lupine: Yes, where are we?

Que Pasa: Somewhere.

*The GCPA find themselves wandering around Canada.*

Nemo: In your mom's house lol

Que Pasa: That's just about it. Canada sucks.

That Krazy Dude: Good point.

Scruffy: Nintendo World.

That Krazy Dude: Ah ha!

Nemo: Wait, Nintendo World?

That Krazy Dude: Can we go to the Museum of Mario?

Scruffy: Sure!

Nemo: Yaaa! *gets stomped by Mario*

Que Pasa: Instead of the navy we have to watch our for... THE MOUNTIES!!!

That Krazy Dude: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Not the mounties!!!

*Scruffy faints.*

Que Pasa: Now we must go on without our Cap'n.

That Krazy Dude: It's impossible!!!!! IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*The Mounties arrive.*

That Krazy Dude: The cursed Canadians!

Lupine: Fuck!

Stampede: DIDN'T THIS STUPID STORY HAPPEN ALREADY!?!?!? *SHOOTS NEMO IN EYE*

Nemo: I have no eyes, Lupine's stupid bird ate them.

Stampede: FINE, I'll shoot the rest of your fucking face!

Nemo: Yaaaah!

Stampede: *PULLS OUT FULL-AUTO M4*

Nemo: Crap! *explodes*

That Krazy Dude: Yay!

Mounty Captain: ROBOTS IN DISGUISE EH (They all transform into fighting robots)

*Mounties look around at the bickering crew in confusion. One of the Mounties puts a handcuff around Nemo's ashes.*

Nemo: No, what will we do?

Lupine: I know! By my calculations they have one weakness.

Nemo: My laugh. No.

Lupine: ::kicks one on the nuts and throws a jar of pickled ducks at one::

That Krazy Dude: *reaches into pocket* Oh hey, I found my lightsaber!

*The Mounties go up in an atomic explosion*

That Krazy Dude: Time to go Star Wars on these Canadians!

Lupine: Too late!

That Krazy Dude: Awwww! :-(

Lupine: Pickled duck always works! In fact, it's tonight's meal.

*But the Mountie Cap'n emerges from the flames and transforms into a mechanical gorilla*

Nemo: Dammmit i was caught in the explosion!

Lupine: Shit!

That Krazy Dude: Gorilla!?!?! ? !

Lupine: Well-

That Krazy Dude: ?

Lupine: Um-

That Krazy Dude: !

Lupine: I won't run!

Que Pasa: He's from Beast Wars.

That Krazy Dude: Bring it!!!!!

Lupine: :: gets in stance::

Nemo: *Lupine flees*

That Krazy Dude: Where'd Stampede go?

Lupine: Let's do this!!!!! Nemo, don't compare me with you. I won't run ever.

Nemo: Of course not.

That Krazy Dude: Why don't you two stop bitching to each other and fuckin fight?

Nemo: Okay, okay!

Lupine: Fine!

*The Mounty Captain charges forward and starts slapping random pirates around with bacon WHICH IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING ELSE IN CANADA.*

Mounty Captain: WHAT NOW EH

Lupine: :: kicks the gorilla in the face but breaks foot and then jumps around::

Nemo: *lets out screaming laugh*

That Krazy Dude: Hmmm... *stares from lightsaber to mop*

Nemo: *stuns him* Attack!

::Gorillaz run in::

That Krazy Dude: *arms his mop*

Lupine: We've handled worse!

Stampede: *LEAVES*

That Krazy Dude: STAMPEDE NOOOO!!!!!!

Que Pasa: *grabs a maple tree, fires it from the nose cannon at the Mounty Captain, covering him in syrup that slows him down*

That Krazy Dude: We've lost our cap'n and our marksman!

Lupine :: attacks the Gorillaz but hits Nemo killing him....again then leaves::

That Krazy Dude: *smacks the Cap'n Mounty with his mop*

Lupine: I must summon, a thing I said I will never do.

Nemo: What the fuck? Lupine, you are always the first to kill me.

Lupine: I know, it never gets old!

Que Pasa: We can do this! We just have to BE- *smacked to Mexico*

That Krazy Dude: NO FIRST MATE!!!!!!!

Lupine: We are fucked.

That Krazy Dude: It's me and these two sissies! Noooo!!!!!1

Nemo: Fuck you!

Lupine: But come on, we can do it! We have to find our fire! :: gorilla lights him on fire::

That Krazy Dude: This is it!!!

Nem: *tries laugh again*

Que Pasa: *completely forgets about everything and starts hanging out with Mexicans*

That Krazy Dude: (runs toward the Mounty with his mop and starts smacking him constantly)

Nemo: *starts totalk about random stuff in annoying fashion*

*The Mounty cries, turns into a car and drives away*

That Krazy Dude: Yay! Now we must find our first mate

Lupine: ::still on fire::

Nemo: Come on! Hop in my car! We'll pick him up.

That Krazy Dude: Yay! To Mexico we shall go! ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!

Nemo: Woohoo!

Lupine: ::left behind on fire::

Nemo: I get to drive! I think we forgot something... oh yeah Lupine!

That Krazy Dude: *throws water on Lupine and grabs him by collar of shirt and throws him into car*

Nemo: Let's go!

Lupine: ::in ball:: The tacos, oh the tacos!

*Que Pasa sneaks across the American border with his new friends- Ramone and Frederico*

Que Pasa: I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU

Ramone: We'll be right here (puts a finger to Que Pasa's heart)

*Ramone and Frederico leave on a spaceship while Que Pasa waves goodbye. The car then drives up to Que Pasa.*

Nemo: Hello there! You ready, Que Pasa?

Que Pasa: *hit by the car*

Nemo: Sorry, that was my fault! You okay?

That Krazy Dude: *hops out of car and carries Que Pasa into the car* SHOTGUN!

Que Pasa: *unconcious and bleeding severly*

That Krazy Dude: *gets smacked in the back of the head by a shotgun*

Que Pasa: *beats Nemo with Krazy Dude's shotgun in his sleep*

Lupine: :still in trunk::

That Krazy Dude: (misses and hits Elvis)

Nemo: I still get to drive!

Lupine: Can someone let me out? The commies took my hat and Nemo's virginity.

That Krazy Dude: Oooooooooh!

Nemo: No they didn't, it was just a friendly visit!

Lupine: ...... The commies raped Nemo!

That Krazy Dude: So what now?

Nemo: No, we go to..... Jupiter.

*"Que Pasa" comes out of the bathroom and into the car*

Que Pasa: Whattup guys

Lupine: :: screams from trunk of car into a mike and then sings that Doo Waa Diddy song::

Nemo: Okay, where to?

That Krazy Dude: *sticks Wally in the trunk*

Nemo: Tear him apart

*They get into the car and drive into the sunset. Chessy music plays, sombreros magically appear on their heads and a bottle of tequila appears in Krazy Dude's hand.*

That Krazy Dude: Cool!

Nemo: Nice.

*"Que Pasa"'s eyes grow red as he transforms into the mounty. Mexican music starts to play.*

That Krazy Dude: NOOOO!!!!!!

Nemo: No!

Mounty: Didn't think it was that easy eh?

Nemo: Damn it, I was driving!

*Real Que Pasa is still unconcioious and bloody in the backest of all places*

That Krazy Dude: *throws a newly formed donkey at the Mounty*

*The Mounty explodes violently.*

That Krazy Dude: Yay!

Nemo: Wow, didn't even hafta unbuckle my seat belt!

*then comes back*

Lupine: :: still in trunk with a hawk and raccoon fighting::

That Krazy Dude: (shoves mop up Mounty's nose and starts beating him over the head with a bucket)

Ramone: WE NEVER LEAVE A HOMBRE BEHIND!!! (crashes spacheship into the Mounty, destroying it for good)

Que Pasa: NOOOOOO RAMONE!!!!!

Lupine: He was a good man...

Nemo: Poor Ramone, I knew him well for the 5 seconds I saw him.

Que Pasa: *holds Ramone's sombrero* Now I have to accomplish our dream for both of us! I will become the greatest swordsman so that my name maty be known even in Heaven!

That Krazy Dude: Oh well, better than Mexico.

Lupine: Nothing is better than Mexico.

Nemo: Hey, who let him outta the trunk?

That Krazy Dude: Aren't you supposed to be in the trunk?

Lupine: The car just fucking exploded! I'm lucky to be alive!

That Krazy Dude: Noooo!!!

Nemo: Nooooo!

That Krazy Dude: Nemo, save my burrito! *throws nemo into fire*

Que Pasa: *smacks the trunk door over Lupine*

That Krazy Dude: wtf?

Que Pasa: That tf.

Nemo: Hey, heres your burrito. It's a little burnt.

That Krazy Dude: Goody goody

*The burrito is unharmed while Nemo is burned beyond recognition and still on fire*

Nemo: Oh crap! *runs for life but falls off cliff*

Lupine: What did I miss?

Que Pasa: Girl-on-hirl action.

That Krazy Dude: Tilt-a-whirl action.

Nemo: Octupus action.

Lupine: Not hot girl on girl action!

Que Pas: Next time we fight the mounty he shoul turn into a tilt-a-whirl!

That Krazy Dude: Yeah, a tilt-a-whirl that doubles as a cheesesteak!

Sausage Fest '05: The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Movie[edit]

by Scruffy, Que Pasa, Lupine, Stampede, That Krazy Dude, No Name, Edwin and Mini-Myself (and a cameo by Patten McGroin) on September 16, 2005

Part I: Attack of the Simple Plan Clones[edit]

*Gorenicus the gorilla pirate, Count Gonad, Captain Duck-Hand Frzlngd (head of the Navy), The Mounty, Mr. Noble, Gary Coleman, Henry Winkler and dozens of random celebrities are assembled in a large room.*

Gary Coleman: Why are we here again?

???: Because I have summoned you all!

*In the center of the room... Bob Saget's ghost materializes!*

Frzlngd: I was told there would be porn. Where is it, Saget?

Duck-Hand: Master?

Bob Saget's Ghost: Yes, even though my body was destroyed I still live in all of your nonexistent hearts!

Mounty: Woot's this all about, eh?

Bob Saget's Ghost: Simple. We all have one thing in common: a hatred for the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada. Individually you were all-

Duck-Hand: So you want us to form some sort of stereotypical supervillain alliance?

Bob Saget's Ghost: SHUT UP I WAS GETTING TO THAT!!! (summons a lightning bolt that fries Nemo)

Duck-Hand: I like your style. Let's do it!

Bob Saget's Ghost: Fine. Now we shall set up a plan to destroy those damn pirates once and for all- and use the blood of their cursed leader, Scruffy, to revive me!

Gorenicus: This plan arouses me. It is flawless!

(dramatic music in background)

*DRAMATIC IRONY*

*All the villains break into evil laughter until milk squirts out of their noses- even if they weren't drinking any. End prologue.*

Count Gonad: Shut up you a-holes in the back!

*Opening credits over a computer-animated background with a cool-ass title thingy*

*Elsewhere, on the Golden Cheesecake...*

Lupine is cooking, Que Pasa is dancing, and Krazy Dude is cleaning the crew's quarters. No Name is contemplating something deep, like why does the refrigerator light turn off when you close the door.

That Krazy Dude: ::spits on Lupine's bed::

Stampede: *SEES KRAZY SPIT ON LUPINE'S BED, DOES THE SAME*

That Krazy Dude: ::then shits on Lupine's bed, blames shit on raccoon and leaves::

No Name: I'm going to go eat Krazy's feces.

Que Pasa: *eats the bed*

Lupine: :: shows everyone several live rabbits::

No Name: What's this? What stunt are you trying to pull?

That Krazy Dude: Hey guys, why don't giraffes dance?

Scruffy: Um, they'd be better cooked.

Lupine: Oh right, I forgot to cook 'em!

Mini-Myself: I can use the rabbits as horses, yay!

Lupine: :: lights the rabbits on fire with magic:: You happy now, No Name? Now they suffer. Eat!

No Name: No ...*uses Force Lightning*

Scruffy: Um, here Que Pasa!

Mini-Myself: NNNNNOOOOOO my chariots!

Que Pasa: So Cap'n, any assignments today?

No Name: Yeah, any assignments?

That Krazy Dude: What's the potato Cap'n?

Scruffy: Yes, let's have a look at ships in the area.

No Name: Okay.

Scruffy: There's that big one...

No Name: Uh-huh!

That Krazy Dude: The one with the flag that says "All will be killed"?

Scruffy: Yeah, that one.

Stampede: *IS SLEEPING - GUN IN HAND, SO DON'T TRY ANYTHING*

No Name: *puts shaving cream on Stampede's hand and tickles his nose with a feather*

That Krazy Dude: .... Okay.

Scruffy: Then there's the Midget Pirate Armada...

Stampede: *PUTS GUN TO NO NAME'S EYE*

Lupine: :: somewhere on the deck::

Scruffy: Choose which one you want to attack, crew!

That Krazy Dude: Does anyone ever wonder if midgets' turds are smaller than a normal person's?

No Name: I like the way your barrel looks, have you cleaned it lately?

Stampede: Yeah, I did this morning.

No Name: Okay, cool. (walks away awkwardly)

Stampede: I had to take the blood off of it from last night. *FOLLOWS NO NAME TO THE REST OF THE CREW*

Edwin: That time of the month, huh?

That Krazy Dude: I like the one with the deadly warning.

Scruffy: Fuck this, SIMPLE PLAN!!!!!!!! (all of a sudden, Bob Sagets rip the ship in half and takes Nemo, Patten, and Lupine down under a gigantic whirlpool)

Stampede: Oh, that was cute Edwin. *PATS ON BACK*

*QUE PASA PATS EDWIN'S ASS*

Lupine: ::walks away from argument and lies down::

Scruffy: GOD DAMN YOU, FUCKING STAMPEDE AND ALCHEMIST, GET WITH THE PROGRAMMA!!!!1

That Krazy Dude: Yeah. This isn't Telemundo dammit.

Stampede: We already are. You're the one that went for a snack.

*CAPTAIN HAS SNACK IN HAND*

Scruffy: Oh, right!

*SIMPLE PLAN BOARDS THE SHIP WITH CLONES OF THEM*

No Name: When are you going to learn how to be responsible?

That Krazy Dude: So that's why we're thigh deep in water.

Edwin: *transmutates gun* *shoots safe* *grabs gun in safe*

Miss Knight: (walks in) This is preparing you for college, use 3-ring binders!

Scruffy: It wasn't my fault! (recalls screaming out Simple Plan)

Edwin: *aims it at Simple Plan*

Stampede: *PULLS OUT GUN* Shoot to kill, bitches!!

That Krazy Dude: *grabs mop and charges* *smacks the lead singer* You suck!!!

Scruffy: (grabs boomstick)

No Name: *grabs lightsaber and runs towards group*

Stampede: *SHOOTS SINGER IN HEAD*

Lupine: Quick question: what in God's name is going on?

Scruffy: Oh, you're alive. Good.

Edwin: *shoots Simple Plan in penis* Cause women shouldn't have penises.

Stampede: *CONTINUES TO FIRE WILDLY AT CLONES*

Lupine: And yeah element power.

Stampede: Crap, there's too many!!

Lupine: I used the water to propel myself up and hit my groin :: holds ice pack::

Scruffy: Nice, fool! Oh I'm sorry, that was great!

Stampede: Krazy Dude!!

That Krazy Dude: *throws water on floor and they all trip*

*No Name stops because he feels sorry for them, but he laughs secretly at Simple Plan.*

Edwin: *transmutates box of razor blades to use as bait to lure the simple plan clones*

Stampede: Nice burn, Edwin! *CONTINUES TO SHOOT CLONES*

No Name: (continues to laugh)

Edwin: Thank you marksman.

Stampede: Marksman is a title, Edwin. DAMN I GOT YOUR NAME RIGHT!! *CRIES*

Edwin: Sorry, I apologize.

Lupine: Time to test this baby out. :: draws sword pole thing:: Let's do this!

Scruffy: They got Patten!!!

That Krazy Dude: *squirts pine sol in guitarist's face* MY GRANDMA CAN PLAY BETTER THAN YOU!!!

Lupine: :: cuts carrots and vegetables with 7 foot long pole thing::

No Name: No, Patten!!!!!!

Lupine: ::surrounded:: I'm screwed!

Patten: HELP GUYS..................

Edwin: *shoots*

Stampede: Krazy Dude!! Get your guitar!!

That Krazy Dude: Yay!

Scruffy: No, now they got Lupine!!!!

Que Pasa: *being dragged away by the clones*

Scruffy: And Que Pasa!

No Name: No QUE PASA!

That Krazy Dude: *grabs guitar*

Lupine: :: rushes at two of them and slices:: Not yet Cap'n, but we can't keep this up!

Stampede: *PULLS OUT BASS*

That Krazy Dude: *Let's do this* !!!

Stampede: Krazy Dude, play Aces High!!

That Krazy Dude: *plays*

No Name: Let's save Que Pasa, cause he still owes me money and a rematch.

Stampede: *BEGINS TO PLAY AND THEN SHORTLY AFTER USES FLAMETHROWER END OF BASS* Fine....

Scruffy: Kay, (jumps to save others but attacked by giant sea creature) AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

No Name: Dammit, they got us this time!

Stampede: *KILLS MANY CLONES, GRABS QUE PASA*

Lupine: :: spins and slashes all around, Nemo is killed and that puts Lupine in a more cheerful mood::

Edwin: *kicks Simple Plan clones' heads off towards Lupine* Haha, Lupine got head from Simple Plan!

Stampede: YES!!! NOW WE CAN MAKE THOSE JOKES!!

No Name: *swings to ward off clones* they're reproducing faster then Mini-Myself's parents!

Lupine: ::kicks the clones up to the air:: IGNIS!!!!!!!!:: fire sprouts from hands and burns them. Aeolus (a fruity owl) eats the remains::

That Krazy Dude: *throws heads at the clones*

Lupine: Cap'n, we can't keep this up!

Stampede: *PULLS OUT PAPER AND PEN, MAKES TWO BLACK CRYSTAL LIGHTSABERS* NO NAME!! take this!!

No Name: Alright, thanks but I have one already.

Stampede: Oh yeah.

No Name: But two is better!

Stampede: I drew you one last time, but whatever. Use two, No Name!!

No Name: Okay.

Scruffy: (diverts sea creature to Simple Plan clones, but they overpower the beast and convert it to a 10000 more Simple Plan clones)

Lupine: We gotta give up the ship! Cap'n, do you hear me?

No Name: CAP'N!

Scruffy: Um guys, they are everywhere!

Stampede: *RUSHES IN WITH BLACK CRYSTAL LIGHTSABER*

No Name: (keeps clones at bay for Lupine and Cap to talk dramatically)

Stampede: *HELPS NO NAME*

Scruffy: It's no use, you kill 'em, 10 take their place!

Lupine: We gotta cut our losses, TERRA! :: sea floor opens up:: Send as much of them in!

Scruffy: Okay!

Edwin: *creates wall to hold back the massive amount of gay music creating clones for a few seconds*

Lupine: Hurry it's draining!

Scruffy: Now, Salama, tilt the boat over!!!!

No Name: Dammit, I can't hold them off any longer!

Stampede: SALAMA'S NOT HERE!!!

Scruffy: WHAT!!!!!

Stampede: Edwin!! TILT THIS BOAT!!

Edwin: Yeah.

Scruffy: Well then, we're all screwed.

Stampede: MAKE IT A PINBALL MACHINE OR SOMETHING AND TILT IT!!

Edwin: *transmutates a Salama dummy made from cow fat..... a lot of cow fat*

Scruffy: Too late! (ship sucked in crack)

No Name: *gives Cap a hammer* Hold this while I nail your wife!

Stampede: Eh No Name, it wasn't bad. But it wasn't good. I'll give you a 3.5 of 5.

No Name: Thanks.

That Krazy Dude: I'll give you a 3 out of potato salad.

Lupine: ::dramatically holding the seafloor open but it is draining him::

Scruffy: Well, we fell in. Now what?

That Krazy Dude: Who knows?

Stampede: *ACCIDENTALLY SET FIRE TO SHIP AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES AGO*

Edwin: That explains the horrible burning sensation and the 3rd degree burns!

No Name: That's the same performance I gave your mom in bed! OOOOOH!

Lupine: Guys, this isn't good.

Stampede: Edwin, can you transmutate it to normal?

(Growling can be heard in background)

Scruffy: Oh great, they are still alive. We can't beat 'em. run fast!!!

No Name: Okay!

Que Pasa: *runs*

Stampede: OH SHIT EDWIN!!

Que Pasa: *fast*

Stampede: RUN!!

Edwin: Transmutate what? *runs*

Que Pasa: *!!!*

*Scooby-Doo theme song plays in background.*

That Krazy Dude: *throws slippery cleaning material and runs* Ruh roh!

Stampede: ITS ANIPLEX AND SQUARE ENIX!! RUN EDWIN!!!

Edwin: AGHHHH I DON'T WANT TO BE SYNDICATED!!!

Scruffy: (Halo Marine) They got me sir, they got me!

Stampede: *RUNS FROM PIONEER, DISTRIBUTORS OF TRIGUN*

Lupine: :: covers ground with ice that melts quickly::

No Name: NO CAP speak to ME!

Que Pasa: CAAAAP'N!!!

Scruffy: Crap, here, take this fools! (throws grenade)

That Krazy Dude: *runs from the people who have the aim screenames that he tried to make like this one*

Que Pasa: *ferociously tears through a bunch of clones*

Stampede: OK QUICK UPDATE: ME AND EDWIN ARE CURRENTLY NOT HELPING! WE ARE RUNNING! WE WILL BACK SHORTLY!

Lupine: :: slices five more::

No Name: Okay.

Edwin: *claps hands* *tranmutates desert eagles and hands on to Stampede*

Scruffy: (grenade does not go off)DEFECTIVE GRENADE, DEFECTIVE GRENADE!!!!!

Que Pasa: EVERYONE STAY BACK!

Que Pasa: *sucks up flames from Cap'n's body into his nose, then blasts his fire at the ground around the clones; The piece of ground they stand on falls to the center of the earth**

That Krazy Dude: Not that!

No Name: Man, talk about drugs toasting your brain!

Stampede: *SHOOTS THE HELL OUT OF ANIPLEX EXECS* GO HELP THEM EDWIN!

Scruffy: Where's Mr. T? We need his BFGs! Only his guns can take them all out at once. It's the only way to win!

Stampede: *KILLS PIONEER AND SE EXECS*

*Square-Enix execs grab Krazy, and his eyes start to get anime-ish. His hair gets spikier.*

Stampede: NO!!!

No Name: Damn, how deep is the earth?........ *ends up in China*

Que Pasa: *goes around eating the rest of the clones*

Lupine: Square Enix? You fuckers! :: slice 3 execs:: Where the fuck is Advent?

Scruffy: Where is he!?!?!

Stampede: *DESTROYS ANIPLEX EXECS*

That Krazy Dude: *does chin sign*

Stampede: Krazy Dude!

Gorenicus: Dammit, they're besting our traps!

Count Gonad: Don't worry. They won't last much longer.

Edwin: *helps Stampede and kicks execs in the nuts*

That Krazy Dude: *exec is chewing on Krazy's foot* *clothes look flashy and all anime style*

No Name: Dammit, where could they be coming from?!?!?!

*Que Pasa lunges at the exec and they fight like lions.*

Stampede: *SHOOTS EXEC'S HEAD, BULLET GOES THROUGH AND SHOOTS KRAZY IN FOOT*

That Krazy Dude: Ow!

Scruffy: (shoots three in a row with boomstick)

No Name: (throws a steak in the middle of Que Pasa's fight)

Stampede: Sorry Krazy Dude!

Lupine: We can't keeps this up! :: holds up cuts in arm::

Scruffy: (Burns 11 with Fire Wall )

That Krazy Dude: *hair goes back to normal*

Lupine: I've already lost use of my left arm for now.

Stampede: They almost got you, Krazy Dude!

Edwin: *shoots execs in the nuts* HAHA NUT SHOTS!

That Krazy Dude: *polygons exit body and, he becomes flesh again*

Edwin: BITCH I DON'T GOTTA CLAPS MY HANDS FOR THAT!

Que Pasa: Here's the source!

No Name: *slices and does fancy acrobatics*

Scruffy: everybody, they are too many! Huddle up! Stampede, inject me with your flamethrower.

Lupine: :: uses right arm and summons...... a pine tree:: That will hold them off. So many of them.

Que Pasa: *points to a giant potato that produces Simple Plan clones, Square Enix execs and Aniplex execs like crazy*

Stampede: Umm... *USES NEEDLE OF BASS TO INJECT CAP'N*

No Name: How will we take that potato down?

That Krazy Dude: Not the potato!

Edwin: *claps hands* *destroys wall of cargo to fall on clones*

Que Pasa: *Starts tearing through the potato*

That Krazy Dude: NOT THAT!!! Oh, but Simple Plan's still here.

Gary Coleman: Whatchou talkin' bout?

Que Pasa: *snaps Gray Coleman's neck with his feet*

No Name: Que Pasa, I like your thinking! That's why I leave this stuff to you.

That Krazy Dude: Oh shit, I said it again!

*More clones come from behind.*

That Krazy Dude: You guys take the potato, I'll take care of these guys! I've got a score to settle.

Stampede: Edwin transmutate some ammo and paper for me, and a good pen! Not that cheap one you always give me!

No Name: Dammit that potato is just a distraction!

Lupine: :: does the rising dragon and kills 5 clones:: Only one thing I can do!

*Gary Coleman's neck straightens.*

Lupine: :: points two fingers in the air:: This is the last of my strength.

That Krazy Dude: This is for "Welcome to my Life"!!!! *kicks clone in face and knocks his head off*

Lupine: DIVINE LIGHTNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No Name: *helps Que Pasa and slashes fancy and dramatically with two lightsabers*

*Gary Coleman whistles, and the rest of the villains drop down.*

Stampede: EDWIN!!

No Name: STAMPEDE!

Stampede: I need that ammo and paper now!! And a G2!!

Duck-Hand: Take us to your captain.

That Krazy Dude: *reawakens Old Krazy Dude (as seen in blog on my MySpace)*

No Name: HURRY UP WITH THAT AMMO AND PAPER!

Edwin: *claps hands* *modifies Stampede's gun with higher caliber bullets*

Stampede: Sweet!!

Patten McGroin: *randomly laughs alot*

Stampede: I still need that paper though.

Lupine: :: brings down fingers and lightning comes after killing 20 clones but is no use, more clones come and take their place. Lupine collapses from over taxing his body::

Stampede: Guys wait!

That Krazy Dude: *cracks clone's neck*

Stampede: WAIT!

Que Pasa: *starts to eat Lupine's remains*

No Name: *uses Force powers to lift Lupine to safety*

That Krazy Dude: Damn that was a quick battle I guess.

Stampede: Maybe if they take Lupine they'll leave us alone!

Lupine: I'm still alive!

No Name: Bad Que Pasa!

Que Pasa: It was worth a try.

No Name: We house trained you to do this outside!

Stampede: Maybe if they take Lupine, they'll leave us alone!

No Name: Dammit Stampede, we're not uncivilized anymore! Sacrifices don't please the gods!

Edwin: *transmutates paper and ammo*

That Krazy Dude: *offers Lupine to clones*

*CLONES ACCEPT, LUPINE IS TAKEN WITH CLONES*

Lead Singer: Excellent, now we can slit our wrists with someone other than each other and listen to each other bitch about how bad our actually easy lives are!

Stampede: Damn, now we need to save Lupine! But after lunch. Edwin, can you transmutate me a burger? I would do it myself, but you still haven't taught me how to transmutate food.

Edwin: I need fat! (slams Lupine's face to the floor and transmutes a burger)

No Name: Harsh! Lemme get some though.

*All the villains grab the Cap'n and take him into the potato*

No Name: CAPPPPP!

*The potato grows wheels and laser cannons The potato drives forward, shooting at the crew while trying to run them over.*

No Name: (dodges potato and creates force field around himself to deflect bullets)

That Krazy Dude: *charges at potato and picks up conveniently placed javelin, then jumps into the air and chucks the javelin at the center of the potato*

*A hatch in the potato opens, and all the random celebrities pour out.*

Gonad: That should keep them busy. Now... to the spot of Bob Saget's death!

That Krazy Dude: *gasp*

No Name: GASPUUUUUU

*The potato's wheels turn into rockets and it flies away.*

Lupine: ::falls out of potato::

That Krazy Dude: Where's the cap'n?

No Name: They abducted HIM. DAMMIT!

That Krazy Dude: NOOOO!!!!

Que Pasa: (hanging onto the side of the potato) CAAAP'N!!!

Part II: Old Enemies[edit]

That Krazy Dude: CAP'N Y!?!?!?!?

Stampede: Why'd you slam Lupine's face Ed? *CHEWS ON BURGER*

Edwin: Needed meat, and Salama wasn't there. Too lazy to waste an extra sec in the transmutation.

Stampede: *SPITS OUT BURGER*

No Name: We're useless, how couldn't we save the Cap'n?

That Krazy Dude: You bastards! *points to the celebrities* How dare you kidnap our Cap'n!

Lupine: :: wakes up groggily:: Cap'n... ::holding arm barely walking:: CAPN!!!!!!!! My magic wasn't good enough. I'm sorry, my friend. ::cries::

No Name: Everyone, we just lost our only real good story writer Que Pasa so we need to be quick on our feet!

That Krazy Dude: Where is he?

Mr. Noble: (sees Que Pasa on a surveillance camera) Looks like we have a guest.

Gorenicus: I'll destroy him myself

No Name: OFF TO FIND QUE PASA AND CAP!

Lupine: I'll save them.

That Krazy Dude: Where's our first mate and Cap'n!?

*Que Pasa and Gorenicus duel on top of the speeding potato*

Lupine: I failed as second mate!

No Name: All GCPA, hold hands and skip on Yellow Brick Road!

That Krazy Dude: Yay!

Stampede: I'll help you, No Name!

That Krazy Dude: Or we can make Lupine's powers useful.

Lupine: :: encounters Bill Cosby:: Everyone go on, I'll hold him off!

That Krazy Dude: Summon your fruity bird dammit!

Lupine: Just go, and my magic was over used. Anymore and I could die.

That Krazy Dude: Fuck!

Stampede: *USES TELEPORTER, WAITS FOR THE REST OF THE CREW*

No Name: Transmutate me a cool hover platform!

Edwin: *claps hands* transmutates desert eagles for himself, No Name and Stampede*

Stampede: Yes, I love desert eagles!

Lupine: Just run!

That Krazy Dude: (runs to teleporter)

Lupine: :: draws staff with one good arm::

No Name: I don't use guns, they're uncivilized.

Stampede: Shut up and use them, No Name. They're more modern.

Lupine: GO DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

That Krazy Dude: *picks up mop*

Gorenicus: (flings feces at Que Pasa)

*weird noise goes off*

That Krazy Dude: EXPERIENCE ACQUIRED

No Name: Give me a platform to use my Force powers to levitate and fly off!

::Cosby rushes at Lupine::

Stampede: Technically swords and lightsabers are more uncivilized.

That Krazy Dude: WEAPON LEVEL UP

Que Pasa: (catches the feces in nose cannon and fires them back at Gorenicus until he falls off the side of the potato)

Stampede: HAHA...technicalities!

Edwin: ARE YOU SAYING THAT SHOOTING AND HARMING PEOPLE SERIOUSLY ISN'T CIVILIZED?

*The potato lands on the moon*

That Krazy Dude: MOP BLADE ACQUIRED

No Name: Fine (uses Force powers to fly off in a Neo "The One" Matrix style) I'm coming Que Pasa!

Edwin: Well I don't think you're a scientist now are you!

That Krazy Dude: How are we gunna reach the potato?

Cosby: Lupine, we meet again! This time no one can eat me.

Lupine: As a chef, I will be the one.

*All the villains rush out with the restrained captain and rush towards the remains of Bob Saget's fortress*

That Krazy Dude: Where should we search?

No Name: I'm almost there, just hold on a little longer!

Stampede: *TRANSMUTATES CUP OF COFFEE*

That Krazy Dude: Stampede, what do we do?!

Stampede: Edwin I did it! I can transmutate food and drink.

Edwin: *transmutates sugar* Want some?

Stampede: *TRANSMUTATES WHISKEY* Only if its equal, dh!

That Krazy Dude: Our giraffes have been eaten and our Garfields fluffed!!!

Edwin: Let's make this coffee Irish....

No Name: (sends Force telepathy) Edwin, Stamp you guys are lazy!

Stampede: Wheres the equal, Ed?

That Krazy Dude: You guys are crappy crew mates, yo.

Stampede: If I understood what the hell was goin on...

Edwin: I shaved No Name's hair off without him knowing.

That Krazy Dude: Where are you No Name!!!

No Name: Finally I made it... Oh wait, I'm on Mars not the moon!

*Count Gonad, Captain Duck-Hand Frzlngd, The Mounty and Mr. Noble strap Scruffy to Bob Saget's deathbed.*

Lupine: ::grabs his weapon, but his arm is still wounded so he flinches, Cosby takes advantage and covers him in jello::

Cosby: What are you gonna do now, what with the jello surrounding and the fact that I'm fricken crazy?

Lupine: ::chuckles then screams:: AEOLUS!

No Name: Okay, finally right planet!

That Krazy Dude: Yes!

Stampede: Ahh yes, that's right!

*An owl flies to the pirates.*

That Krazy Dude: (boards the bird) Everyone onto the fruity bird now!!!

Stampede: *SHOOTS CUTE RABBIT*

Lupine: :: an owl flies down and begins eating Cosby::

No Name: QUE PASA CAP'N! WHERE ARE YOU?

Stampede: Where are we now?

That Krazy Dude: Getting onto Lupine's fruity wind spirit to go to the moon! And find our cap'n and first mate!

Stampede: *GETS ON WITH EDWIN* Let's go!!!

Edwin: *claps hands* *and plays pitty pat with random school shild* No Name: AND HOW ARE WE ABLE TO BREATH IN THIS NO ATMOSPHERE ENVIORNMENT

Que Pasa: *tries to be stealthy and hide his presence from the villains, only to set off a nuclear explosion*

That Krazy Dude: *flies off and they reach the moon, and head into the moon base*

Edwin: YAY!!!!!

No Name: *sees nuclear explosion* This could mean two things- either Salama farted, or Que Pasa tried to be stealthy.

Stampede: Yeah I'm gonna do a stealth mission!

Edwin: YAY!

Count Gonad: We have an intruder!

Mr. Noble: And he doesn't look like he's written any essays recently...

Edwin: YAY!

Stampede: Edwin, can I have a silencer please?

Edwin: *makes silencer*

That Krazy Dude: *yells* We must be stealthy and not get caught!!!

Stampede: Are you rushing or stealthing, Ed?

Lupine: :: screams:: I will not fail my crew!

*LUPINE FAILS HIS CREW*

Lupine: I'M SORRY GUYS, THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN OUR LAST GOOD BYE!

Que Pasa: I will fight you to the end! *fights The Mounty*

Gonad: Forget that damn Canadian! Proceed with the ceremony!

Edwin: *transmutates horse to fuck Lupine up the ass, then horse dies*

No Name: Not if I'm there to see it!

Lupine: AEOLUS, IGNIS, TERRA, AQUAS!

No Name: jumps *in at last minute all cool and helps Que Pasa*

That Krazy Dude: *runs into the base retardedly screaming in jibberish*

Que Pasa: THIS IS FOR RAMONE *does some cool sword trick that ends with The Mounty falling apart into hundreds of pieces*

No Name: Hey Que Pasa, where did you learn that?

Que Pasa: From your mom!

No Name: OUCH!

Lupine: :: a quad of magic hits Cosby and the owl killing them both and leaving Lupine on the floor collapsed::

Stampede: *puts gun to the back of Gonad's head* Stay still, fucker!

Gonad: Oh I'm good at this game. Lindsey Lohan?

Stampede: Guess again.....

Edwin: LINDSEY LOHAN IS LIKE MR STRETCH!!! That bitch is skinny and can fit anywhere!

Count Gonad: That's corny. The only person other then Lindsey Lohan who would do this is Stampede the Marksman!

Stampede: *DING DING DING DING DING*

Stampede: You won, Gonad!! Here's your prize!! *GIVES GONAD A VESPA SCOOTER* *then shoots him in the arm*

That Krazy Dude: *charges at Mr. Noble* *bounces off his big fuckin stomach*

No Name: *runs to save cap'n* CAP'N!

Lupine: :: water starts to bubble up beneath Lupine swallowing him up and making him disappear::

Edwin: *claps hand* *gets water and transmutates it to ice to make the irsh coffee an irish coffee coolatta*

*Noble throws old essay papers that he "lost" at krazy dude*

No Name: Oh no, it's those 2-bit characters from Aqua Teen Hunger Force- the green and pinkish one!

Duck-Hand: (holds the duck beak at Scurffy's neck) NOBODY MOVE!!!

That Krazy Dude: *gasp*

Lupine: ::appears back and barely standing:: What I miss?

Stampede: Ed! Gimme an Irish Coffee Coolata quickly!!

*Gonad sings nursery rhymes as he rides the scooter around. Then he explodes.*

That Krazy Dude: Don't do it Duck-Hand!!

Lupine: Duck Hand? :: looks:: Oh him!

Edwin: *throws cup dramatically. Then remembers about gravity*

Stampede: *DRINKS COOLATA* *EVERYTHING STOPS*

*cup hits ground and explodes*

*Everything goes in slow motion, and Stampede move fast like Fry in that episode of Futurama*

Stampede: *CUTS DUCK-HAND'S BEAK OFF*

*Stampede nods at a bird, and everything returns to normal.*

Duck-Hand: NO MY DUCK!!! (replaces with spare chicken)

Que Pasa: I think that's all of them!

No Name: You have nowhere to go now, Duck-Hand!

Duck Hand: You're too late! ::points to Scruffy's slit wrists and to the now-shaking earth::

Part III: Saget's Revenge[edit]

Duck Hand: He lives!

That Krazy Dude: Wait- where's Noble!

Que Pasa: (Mr. Noble leaps onto his back and begins vibrating spastically) AHHHH

No Name: QUE PASA I'LL HELP YOU!

Stampede: WATCH FOR HIS PURPLE NOSE ATTACK!! NO NAME!!! WATCH OUT!!

::Saget jumps back much more powerful than before::

No Name: *THROWS LIGHT SABER AND GOES THROUGH MR.NOBLE BUT ACCIDENTALLY GOES THROUGH QUE PASA*

That Krazy Dude: (thrusts mop into Noble's stomach)

Lupine: ::kicks Noble in face::

*The light saber and mop puncture Noble's stomach. Noble's stomach explodes*

Que Pasa: *passes out*

No Name: LET'S SAVE THE CAPTAIN!

Lupine: :: points to Scruffy tied up and Saget about to eat him::

No Name: This...this can't be.

Lupine: We failed!

Scruffy: (wakes up) What the hell is going......... Oh. AHHHH!!!!!! I'M ABOUT TO BE EATEN!!!!

Edwin: *grabs Saget by face and explodes it internally*

*Saget's face is reformed.*

Edwin: He's like that metal guy in Terminator!

*All the random celebrities return*

Winkler: Eyyy!

That Krazy Dude: All we can do is eat a ham sandwich and sing a rousing verse of Kumbaya!

Edwin: !!!!

No Name: Only one thing left to do- find all seven Black Star Dragon Balls.

Que Pasa: *strangles No Name*

Stampede: DAMN I WANTED SCAR'S POWER!! NO FAIR ED!! YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT!!

That Krazy Dude: This isn't the time to leave the Cap'n here by himself!

Lupine: Guys, we are surrounded by every evil power we have ever fought. Saget is back stronger than ever. We are tired and wounded. It's been a pleasure serving with you all. Let's make this the crew's final stand! Let's do this!

Scruffy: So, what you're saying is... we're all screwed.

No Name: NO NEVER!

Que Pasa: *shoves a bunch of celebrities in front of Saget, then unbinds the captain and runs off with him*

Lupine: Let's say our good byes and fight.

Scruffy: Fine, then CHARGE!!!!!!!

That Krazy Dude: Hey Stampede.

No Name: Did the Cap'n give up hope when he realized we are all useless? No I don't think so, so let's now give up.... for the CAP'N!

That Krazy Dude: What?

Scruffy: (falls asleep)

That Krazy Dude: Mind if I try your time slow-mo thingy, Stampede?

Stampede: Sure, here's the Coolata.

That Krazy Dude: Yay!

Stampede: Use it well, Krazy!

That Krazy Dude: *drinks Coolata, saves some*

Scruffy: Oooh, give me some!!!

That Krazy Dude: *gives some to Scruffy and the rest to Lupine* That's for homeroom.

No Name: I never though I would have to do this, but........*conjures up all emotions and memories of past*

Stampede: Damn, I don't have enough equal for it to work!

Scruffy: I feel good, dara dara dara!

Lupine: Time to overtax myself to the point of death.

Que Pasa : *runs around on fire*

Lupine: :: fully healed::

Stampede: If you bring me some equal, everybody can use my slow-mo coffee.

*No Name gets mad and goes to the dark side.*

Stampede: Oh no you don't!! *PULLS NO NAME BACK, DARK MUSIC GOES AWAY*

No Name: Stamp, it's the only way we'll win!

Lupine: Shut up!

Stampede: Well let me help you then.

Lupine: No name, no!

That Krazy Dude: *uncuts rope and cuts it again in cool slow-mo action*

Que Pasa: *dropkicks Justin Timberlake, bashes Urkel and Screech's heads together, then eats Tiger Woods*

Lupine: If we must die, then let it be with honor.

Stampede: Two will be better then one!

Scruffy: Nay! We'll win together, or all of you will fall and I will live! That's how it goes.

Stampede: Don't worry, we won't hurt you guys! Let's go, No Name...

No Name: Okay.

Stampede: *EVIL MUSIC PLAYS*

That Krazy Dude: Okay Cap'n, let's do this!

Lupine: ::holds staff and gets in stance:: Let's do this.

No Name: Let's go!

Stampede: We'll be back soon, guys! *GOES TO DARK SIDE*

No Name: Where are we going?

Que Pasa: Disney World.

No Name: Okay.

Scruffy: Take out your most powerful weapons now!!!

That Krazy Dude: *heavy metal music plays*

Que Pasa: *shoves the cast of Cheers into his nose and blasts them at Saget*

Edwin: *transmutates candle and lights it* *manipulates it to become a flame thrower*

Lupine: ::rushes at Whoopi and the Power Rangers and slashes them but they survive::

That Krazy Dude: *charges at the Backstreet Boys*

No Name: (takes out white and black crystal saber)

Que Pasa: *shoves Frasier's head up David Spade's ass*

That Krazy Dude: (unleashes inner shao lin janitor!!!)

Stampede: We need to hurt one of our crew members to show them we're really turning bad, No Name.

*NO NAME AND STAMPEDE PUNCH LUPINE*

Lupine: :: dodges barely:: I'm on your side!

Stampede: No you aren't. You must stay here and help the crew. Use your elements.

Lupine: Stampede, I know we've had our differences.

No Name: *lets emotions and thoughts control all and goes to the dark side* ...I'm doing this for the GCPA!

Stampede: More than two will make them suspicious.

That Krazy Dude: *360 flips over one backstreet boy and cracks his head*

Lupine: Don't do this!

Stampede: *DOES THE SAME AS NO NAME*

Lupine: Don't sacrifice yourself! Nooooooooooooo!

No Name: I won't let you hurt my crew ARGGGGG!

Stampede: Wow, that's gay!

(Star Wars music plays in the background)

That Krazy Dude: *backflip kicks one in the face and lands on top of the other's shoulders*

*Someone rushes in and slams Stampede and No Name's heads together*

Mr. T: How come you fools throw a party and not invite Mr. T?

Stampede: *FIGHTS WHILE DIZZY*

Edwin: *destroys ground under Backstreet Boys while one of them falls in and screams in a highpitched homosexual way*

That Krazy Dude: *does spinning jump and cracks other's neck*

Lupine: My greatest rival and truest friend on the crew. Stampede!!!!!!!!!!!

Stampede: Man, if I didn't take that pot I could stand the head injury!

That Krazy Dude: *whips out mop blade and slashes one's head off and stabs it with spear*

*TWO BROTHERS SONG PLAYS IN BACKGROUND.*

Scruffy: That's it, flame TEMPEST!!!!!

Lupine: :: elements flow through body::

No Name: (recovers from injury and fights recklessly with unfathomable strength)

Lupine: I'll kill you all!

*With Mr. T helping the pirates, more and more celebrities fall*

That Krazy Dude: *bashes the head against the other one and then slashes through his stomach*

*NO NAME AND STAMPEDE CONTINUE TO FIGHT THE DARK SIDE*

Stampede: YOU GUYS CAN HELP AT ANY MOMENT!! *GETS PUNCHED IN GUT*

Lupine: :: rushes at as many as possible and spins blade in Cid fashion and slices all in his way beserkly:: I will avenge you!

Que Pasa: *eats the Dark Side* Happy?

That Krazy Dude: *comes to help Stampede and No Name* Damn I was late!

*Real Folk Blues slowly fades in. Faye flashes some boob and assssss.*

No Name: You can't eat the dark side!

Scruffy: No, but I can set it ablaze!

Lupine: IGNIS! ::a blast of fire escapes Lupine's hands::

*NO NAME AND STAMPEDE SAY SIMULTANEOUSLY* VICIOUS!!!!

No Name: Arggggggg!

Stampede: And Jet!?

Lupine: ::killing Whoopi:: That was for No Name!

Edwin: *claps hands and gives Faye even bigger chesticles*

That Krazy Dude: how many celebrities are there!?

*JET IS NOW VICIOUS' ALLY*

Que Pasa: *tosses some dog food on Richard Simmons, causing Whoopi Goldberg to tackle him*

Edwin: HAHA Jet with his automail. Reminds me of my dad... *violin plays*

Que Pasa: More than one.

Scruffy: (boomsticks Jet)

Stampede: No Name, who are you gonna take? Jet or Vicious?

Lupine: AEOLUS:: spins blade and blows away david spade:: That was for Stampede.

Edwin: *fights Jet*

No Name: Beats me, I'll just swing until there's no enemy left standing.

That Krazy Dude: (brings in the Candle Dude) BUTTERCUPS!!!!

Lupine: This is for me!

Stampede: Yeah...I'll fight Vicious. *PULLS OUT KATANA BLADE*

Scruffy: No Name, stay on the light side!

No Name: No Capn', it's too late for me! Save yourself!

Scruffy: If you go over to the dark side, sure the ladies will like you and you'll be cool, but then you would be evil!

Lupine: TERRA! ::begins to focus energy to a pit and open it::

Stampede: Hmm haven't used this in a while!

Lupine: :: is hit in the back of the head by Noble::

Edwin: *block punch by grabbing his fist and destroys his automail*

*Candle Dude throws buttercup-scented candle grenade at massive amounts of enemies*

Stampede: This should be fun! *GETS INTO FIGHTING STANCE*

That Krazy Dude: Where is Saget?

Bob Saget: (buying drugs from McCauley Culkin)

Lupine: Stampede, if you're still in there...

Stampede: What, Lupine? *GETS CUT ON FACE BY VICIOUS* Damnit!!

No Name: (lurking, he escaped to plan his next attack)

Lupine: Dor one final time... ::draws out katanas:: Let's do this as partners!

Stampede: *CONTINUES TO FIGHT VICIOUS* No, I have to do this alone! It's my fight! It's my problem.

Lupine: Then I'll cover you! :: blocks knives bullet with sword breaking blade::

Stampede: Thanks, Lupine. *CONTINUES TO FIGHT VICIOUS*

That Krazy Dude: Que Pasa! Cap'n!

Edwin: *transmutates katana and impales Jet*

*Bob Saget then merges himself with the life stream of Earth and "One-Winged Angel" starts playing.*

Que Pasa: (hums) THE REAL FOLK BLUUUUUUUUES (brained by P Diddy)

Scruffy: (Shoots jet)

*BOB SAGET IS NOW A COOL LOOKING ANGEL THAT IS THE EPITOME OF EVIL.</nowiki>

Que Pasa: *kicks Shredder off a roof into a garbage truck*

Lupine: ::grabs staff:: As long as I'm alive, none of my friends will die!

*All of a sudden Dave Coulier, John Stamos, and Ashley Olsen come out of nowhere dressed like Yazoo, Kadaj, and Loz.*

*Jet falls while screaming supporting words to Vicious.

Lupine: ::Cid and Vincent run in:: Back-up finally came! :: Wally enters with ADD::

No Name: Let's do this!!!!!!!

Scruffy: UNFRIENDLY FIRE!!!!(A FIRE SEEKS OUT ALL CELEBRETIES AND THEY ALL DIE)

(10:06:50 PM) Stampede has died.

That Krazy Dude: Stampede!!!! Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Scruffy: We lost him...

Lupine: Stampede NOOOOOOOOOOO! :: goes berserk::

That Krazy Dude: Stop taking my lines!!!

Lupine: I'll kill you all...

Stampede: Bang.

(10:07:23 PM) Stampede is alive again.

That Krazy Dude: Yay he's back!!!

Que Pasa: Dammit!

No Name: That was a beautiful death. I wanted to die like that.

Lupine: :: runs madly at everyone he sees and slices them::

No Name: (starts crying)

Stampede: No Name!! *GOES TO NO NAME* Damnit!!! ED!!!!

Que Pasa: *caught in a dramatic sword duel with Whitney Houston*

That Krazy Dude: *big-ass battle ensues*

*Bob Saget, now known as Safer Saget the Cool-Looking Angel of Death, summons Supernova.*

Lupine: No, I wont let you!

Edwin: WHAT!

Stampede: ED!!! Help No Name out!!

Lupine: AEOLUS, IGNIS, AQUAS, TERRA!

Edwin: *kicks Saget in shin, dropping him*

Stampede: I'll make the Philosopher's Stone!

Lupine: :: holds off super nova but barely:: End this fast!

Stampede: *DRAWS PHILOSOPHER'S STONE* ED COME ON!!!

That Krazy Dude: *goes into a blind rage*

Stampede: NO NAME IS DYING!!!

Lupine: I can't hold it off forever! (begins to lose ground)

No Name: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO........ (USES LIMIT BREAK OMNIPOTENT SLASH, FLASHES IN BRIGHT PRETTY COLORS AND RUSHES TOWARDS SAFER SAGET)

Edwin: *runs and slides towards Stampede, claps hands and places them on ground*

*NO NAME IS BROUGHT BACK WITH NO WOUNDS*

That Krazy Dude: *charges at Coulier, Olsen, and Stamos with mop blade and swipes the three of them off of a random cliff with mop blade.*

No Name: (COLLIDES WITH SAFER SAGET AND CAUSES A COOL EXPLOSION)

That Krazy Dude: NO NAME!!!!

Lupine: :: supernova remains and Lupine is charged at by Vicious::

Stampede: Fuck man!! NO NAME WE JUST HEALED YOU!! TAKE IT EASY!!

Edwin: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *transmutates air.....shuddup*ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

*Safer Saget and No Name fall towards the floor in a cool anime style.*

That Krazy Dude: WHERE'S OUR FIRST MATE!?

::Lupine looks over to see Vicious's sword::

Stampede: Oh my God!! No Name just fell in a way that would normally paralyze somebody!! But he's perfectly OK!!

That Krazy Dude: Oh my god!

Stampede: He's only bleeding from his lip!! And has a bruised eye!!

That Krazy Dude: Hey Stampede, do you want to try it too?

No Name: Only one thing left to do, get the Black Star Dragon Balls.

Stampede: Don't try it, Krazy Dude!

That Krazy Dude: Awww, why not?

Stampede: Here, use this No Name! *DRAWS DRAGON RADAR* Find the Dragonballs No Name!! *GIVES NO NAME DRAGON RADAR*

:: life seems to escape Lupine's eyes as the sword is thrusted into his stomach::

That Krazy Dude: No, Lupine!!!

:: Lupine's spell begins to fade and Super Nova continues its path::

Edwin: *transmutates alchemic blunts and tye dye shirt* No Name try this!

That Krazy Dude: *rushes to Vicious and sends him flying with a flying kick*

Que Pasa: *leaps on Bob Saget and bites his abdomen*

No Name: Krazy Dude, use your time stopping drink to collect the Dragon Balls!

Stampede: Heyheyhey its my drink man! That's not cool.

That Krazy Dude: *uses time stopping drink* There was some left.

Stampede: There's a copyright on it!

That Krazy Dude: I stole it in homeroom!

::Lupine's eyes close and he hits the ground and is not getting up, the sword still in his stomach; Crew concludes that Lupine is dead::

Que Pasa: Do I get the owl?

No Name: GO KRAZY DUDE, GO! THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE DEPENDS ON IT!

That Krazy Dude: *collects the Dragon Balls in what would normally be 30 seconds* What do I do with these!?

Stampede: Yo Ed, lemme get one of those blunts. The buzz from my last blunt is wearing off.

Edwin: No prob BRA!

Stampede: *SMOKES BLUNT*

Que Pasa: *gets high on painkillers* That's it Bob Saget, it's time to end this! *grows wings* I'M A BEAR!!!

No Name: (to Krazy Dude) Just place them on the floor and do something to summon the dragon.

That Krazy Dude: What should I wish for!? Someone give me some advice.

No Name: For Bob Saget to have never existed!

Que Pasa: *thumbwrestles with Bob Saget*

Lupine: <----------- not getting up

That Krazy Dude: Que Pasa, can you take him or should I wish him out of existence?

Saget: Ha. Ha. Haha. You can't stop me now.

That Krazy Dude: *throws Pine Sol that miraculously heals Lupine*

Lupine: ::gets up:: I saw the light.

No Name: Yeah, it's called the Sun.

Lupine: It was so cold. My crew needs me.

Edwin: *transmutates a bat to hit Lupine in the back of the head with* YOU SEE THE LIGHT NOW!!!

*Que Pasa pins Bob Saget's thumb, but a second thumb sprouts from the same hand and strangles him*

That Krazy Dude: That's it! I must wish Saget out of existence.

No Name: Do it, Krazy Dude! It's the only way!

Que Pasa: No, don't!

That Krazy Dude: Que? Pasa?

Que Pasa: Something even eviler will take his place!

No Name: Que pasa, Que Pasa?

That Krazy Dude: Good point, maybe I should wish for a pony instead.

No Name: But there's a giant Supernova coming this way that will destroy this entire solar system!

*NEMO ENTERS BUT QUICKLY EXPLODES BLINDING SAGET AND ALLOWING QUE PASA TO WIN THE THUMB-WRESTLING MATCH*

*After losing, Bob Saget explodes.*

Que Pasa: That was easy!

That Krazy Dude: Too easy!

Lupine: ::Super Nova remains:: Guys...

No Name: Wish the Supernova gone, Krazy Dude!

That Krazy Dude: *looks up to see a meteor coming to the now crater that was the battle ground*

Que Pasa: Quick, onto the potato!

That Krazy Dude: Ahhhhh!!!!

Edwin: YES!! WHOS UP FOR SOME ALCHEMIC PLATANOS!!!

Lupine: :: is hit to the floor::

That Krazy Dude: I WISH THE SUPER NOVA AND THE METEOR WERE GONE!!!!!!!!

*Everyone escapes in the giant potato just at the last possible second; howver, Gary Coleman sneaks up from behind.*

No Name: Man, that was too close........But what had become of Bob Saget?

Que Pasa: He done blown up!

Stampede: Yo Ed, lemme get some alchemic arroz con gandules y bistec!

That Krazy Dude: Hey guys, does anyone else realize that I'm sane right now? .......

No Name: Is that it? I thought it was something more deep and philosophical.

That Krazy Dude: Chicken tenders!!!!

*So the Golden Cheesecake returns to the seas*

That Krazy Dude: Hey Que Pasa, who's that short black dude behind you?

No Name: The real enemy here is time....That's right, time! Bob Saget was only a pawn of the greater enemy.......TIME......It controls us and holds us tightly in her iron grip!

Que Pasa: *plugs No Name's mouth with Gary Coleman's tiny body*

Lupine: As long as the seas are open, and Saget lives...

Que Pasa: He's dead.

Lupine: ...We must sail on.

That Krazy Dude: Or just the sequel that's not gunna make as much money but be somewhat amusing to read.

Que Pasa: Magic defeats magic, and explosions defear everything. Case closed! *turns into a kid and explodes*

Stampede: *GOES BACK TO SLEEP, STILL HOLDS GUN TO SHOOT THOSE WHO DISTURB**

:: Jebus runs in and rubs Gary Coleman's head for good luck::

That Krazy Dude: And so the story ends for now with a big explosion and a game of Uno.

*The cap'n makes a dramatic ending speech or would if he was actually there*

Edwin: *transmutates hammock*

Stampede: *WILL ACTUALLY SHOOT NO NAME IF HE TRIES ANY TRICK AGAIN*

No Name: Yawn ....saving the universe is hard work! (falls asleep on bed)

Mini-Myself: God bless us, everyone!

Siren: (flashes the audience)

That Krazy Dude: Hooray!

Lupine: :: lies and watches the sun set::

Morgan Freeman: The end!

*Cheesy theme song and credits*


A Wachowski Brothers Production

Epilogue[edit]

Patten: I was always here. I just sat and laughed.

Que Pasa: He was there in spirit, like Han Solo.

Han Solo: *walks out of shower* What!?!?!? What did I miss, kid?

Anthologies of GCPA Sidequests
1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
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