GCPA Sequel Chapter 2

Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Chapter Two: Vs. Pauley Shore

Author: That Krazy Dude

Meanwhile at the mob headquarters in New Jersey...

Shiny Stallone: So lemme get this straight...

Krazy Dude: No, get it crooked!

Shiny Stallone: Huh?

Krazy: What?

Shiny: huh?

Krazy: What?

Shiny: ...Never mind. Anyway, you defeated a man named Bob Saget and somehow found yourself 100 years into the future?

Krazy: Exactly.

Shiny: And now you wanna get back with your boys from the crew, right?

Krazy: Yes, I wish to rejoin my crew with an exceedingly high number of guys and very very few women.

Shiny: Interesting....well. I'll see what I can do.

Krazy: And I'll smell what you can do.

Shiny:........You got problems kid. Now onto business. I need you to help me take care of a bunch of bums that go by the names of the Eastside Fruits. Their leader Pauley Shore was cryogenically frozen.

Krazy: Seriously?

Shiny: Jeez kid have you ever watched Futurama? Whatever. Now we're planning our final attack on their headquarters. If we take 'em out, then that'll be it for the fruits and we can try to find a way to get you home.

Krazy: And how are we going to do that?

Meanwhile in China...

ADD: Well... That was interesting.....

Random Asian Guy: BUDDHA!! OVER HERE!!!!!

ADD heads over to Salama, who is surrounded by hundreds of insane Asian people.

Salama: Yes, I am the Buddha. Being gone for so long sure has made me hungry. A buddha can't do his own Buddha thing on an empty stomach you know.

ADD: I have pork fried rice and 5 trays of egg rolls if you'll just follow me.

Salama: My mind has been made up now. I shall follow the tall Asian man with the long beard and the turban. *points to ADD*

Salama follows ADD into his city wok restaurant and sits down right in front of a tray of egg rolls. ADD sits down next to him.

ADD: So it appears that you are a friend of a man named Que Pasa.

Salama: *with a mouth full of food* Hmm? Oh yeah, I know him.

ADD: Hey, don't get food on the turban okay? Anyway, your friend apparently seems to know that you are not really the Buddha.

Salama: Uhhh...yes I am!

ADD: No, you're not.

Salama: Okay, okay, I'm not the Buddha. I'm not even Asian. I'm....Arab.

ADD: I figured as much. Que Pasa told me while we were heading through the crowd of obssessed Asians that he was a member of a pirate crew called the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada. I wish to meet these pirate friends of yours.

Salama: Okay, except for one problem.

ADD: What?

Salama: I don't know where they are.

ADD: Dammit. Oh well. We'll have to find them the hard way I guess. The way that my ancestors did before me and their ancestors did before them.

Salama: And that is?

ADD: Take the Porsche of course.

Salama and ADD head outside and head up to a Porsche. He takes out his keys and goes to unlock the doors when it suddenly transforms into Optimus Prime and runs off.

ADD: Dammit! I hate when it does that. Oh well. We'll just have to take the Asian Mobile.

Salama: Asian Mobile?

ADD: *walks over to a rickshaw and takes a seat on it.*

Salama: Umm...I don't think there's enough room for me in there.

ADD: And that is why you are going to be pulling it.

Salama: What?!

ADD: It's either that, or I tell all these nice Asian people that you were lying about being the Buddha.

Salama: Hey you, those Asian people just assumed I was the Buddha.

ADD: Oh really? *takes off turban to reveal a tape recorder. plays back the tape* "Yes I am the Buddha. Being gone for so long sure has made me hungry. A Buddha can't do his own Buddha thing on an empty stomach you know." *puts away tape recorder in turban and places the turban back on his head.*

Salama: Damn. Well what if I get tired?

ADD: I'll take care of that *Salama picks up the rickshaw and starts running but not that fast. ADD takes off his turban again and pulls out a fishing rod with an entire cooked chicken on the hook. He holds it in front of Salama's face.*

Salama: FOOD!!!

And so they were off to find the Golden Cheesecake crew. Where they would go, no one knows but we shall find out soon enough.

Author: No Name

*No Name walks to dock where he is off to catch a boat to go to Jersey City. He watches a boy with his father fishing.*

No Name: I wonder who my parents were….Are they still alive…Do I even have parents….I can't remember …..

*inner voice* Yes, I do! I have parents! I remember my father left for war, and I was left with my mom alone at home. I went to school too and I had a crush and I had friends.

No Name: Wait, what were their names? I can't remember …Why?

Inner Voice: I feel I hit my head on the rocks when I was at the playgrounds

No Name: That’s right, I remember. I was trying to show off for my crush…. What was her name?

Kid: Look daddy, I got a fish.

Dad: Alright Junior, good job! We’re going to eat like kings tonight!

No Name: How did I get here in the first place?

*Flashback*

No Name: Mom, I want to leave to go train and become just like Dad so I can protect you from all those evil people out there in the world.

Mom: But dear, don’t be silly! You’re fine here!

No Name: No mom, I’m helpless. I have to go train and get ready for the war anytime. Why are we fighting this war anyway….why did Dad leave?!?!?! Why?!!!

Mom: We have to fight this war because the bad people called Sith that may use these crystals and harness its power to do harm to others.

No Name: What makes you think we won't do the same…Huh?!? Mom, I think I’m old enough to leave now. This village is too little to contain my curiosity and spirit as a young man…..I’m 11 for peeps sake I’m going to go train.

Mom: Of course ….Mors.

*Flash back over*

No Name: MORS….is that my name…MORS…

Inner Voice: Of course, that’s what it's been all this time.

No Name: Yeah, of course………..I remember being in the war…I went to go train at one of the best Jedi academies to complete my training…..No wai, how can this be? I was taken away from my family before the war started, I was just a child….. I left to go train when I was 11 *

Inner Voice: No, they took you away when you were 3. You began your training early.

No Name: Of course, I remember I was 16….. I was infiltrating a base….I found my father there with two of their elite men …. They held my father hostage….I drew my lightsaber and began to fight with them……He told me the men were on our side and they already had this covered. They were going to shut down the power plant…. That’s as far as I can remember…. Phew that was a heck of ride, speaking of rides I need to get on the boat before I don’t get to Jersey City.

*No Name boarded the boat.*

No Name: Man this polluted air, from the Hudson River sure does the soul good!

*Just then, No Name got a screeching headache*

No Name: ARG Uh my head…..

Inner Voice: No, I remember my name was Strife…..I was one of the best Jedi Knights there was. I got promoted to Jedi Knight at the age of 16. I remember then the war started for the crystals. I was sent in with the elite unit to infiltrate the crystal power plant and shut it down…I found my father there…. He was a scientist for the military….a brilliant one….I figured they had held him hostage…..so I began to fight to free him……I woke up the next day in some slum village that’s all I can remember.

No Name (gives twenty lashes)

---

No Name: Man, all this rocking is making me sleepy. I think I'll take a nap.

*No Name falls asleep on the boat.*

No Name: I remember in that crystal factory, when I confronted my father and those two men he turned and looked at me then said……

“Mors, these JedI are corrupt, they’re just using you for their own personal gain. They're power hungry fiends manipulating all these peoples emotions, abusing their loyalty and trust, using all your power and skill only to maintain their position of power in the world and keep their iron grip on the world. Don’t you see they’re already powerful enough to keep everyone in check, even the Sith, even with the crystals! Mors don’t be fooled by the lies! These JedI feed to you …Who will you trust, me or those scoundrels? But before you think about your answer look at it this way….Who was it that didn’t allow you to train in the Jedi Academy at the age of 11?

No Name: The Jedi Council!

Father: Who was it that fought for you to get into the Jedi Academy?

No Name: You….

Father: Who was it that held you back while all the other children surpassed and became Jedi Knights despite your great skill and knowledge, who was hesitant to send you to this war even though you were the greatest fighters there, a great pilot, a great tactician?

No Name: The Jedi Council….

Father: Now of course it would seem rather peculiar for them to finally send you into battle just like that wouldn’t it?

No Name: Yes it is….

Father: So obviously they must’ve seen an advantage, a “gain” for them to send you into battle ….perhaps they were afraid of your power …what you would become….a great Jedi knight…better then any of them…. Even as we speak I over heard saying they would lay waste to your village killing everyone….EVEN YOUR MOTHER! They figured they could get you killed in this war as well…..Don’t you remember Mors, that old crystal factory in your village….well of course this is what they’re after, don’t you agree?

No Name: *clutches fist* Those monsters!!!!! How could they!!!!!

Father: Yes Mors feed into your anger, it is the only to get to the next level of your training…with it you will be unstoppable….no one can beat you! Soon they will be sending in a Jedi Knight to come eliminate me because I know too much of course this is why I have these two body guards…to protect me.

No Name: NO father, I will protect you as well!!1

Father: Good son, give into your anger. Let it drive you, let it flow through your veins, but first I must tell you …the JedI are giving most of their soldiers these crystals in form of a liquid to enhance their natural capabilities…I’m sure you want it too. It’s the only way to protect your mother.

No Name: Yes, of course….

*No Name wakes up*

No Name: Man, what a weird dream!

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Que Pasa is touring the Bizarro Crew's ship and redoing his notes on his crewmates.*

Que Pasa: ...So your name is "Fish" and not Nemo... you're very cool... and you don't die all the time, you have near-death experiances that you somehow survive all the time.

*Fish nods as a meteor swings past him.*

Que Pasa: And you... you're not "No Name". In fact, you were born with every name in existence, so people can call you whatever.

Every Name: Yeah, but these jerks only call me girl names.

Que Pasa: (scribbles wildly on his hand)

Ruffy: You up to date yet?

Que Pasa: Think so.

Not Sane Dude: Don't get comfortable, weaklings! We have a pirate sighting in a nearby town. The work of Captain Aardvarkleg Al for sure!

*All the pirates get to their battle stations, as the Goldendom Cheesecake sails off.*

*In Mecha-Gorenicus's lair...*

Mini-Myself: Where'd Patten go?

Siren: Patten was never here.

Mini-Myself: Um, yes he was. He was captured with us in Siberia or something...

Siren: Doesn't ring a bell.

Mecha-Gorenicus: Silence slaves! For your first task, you shall carry these stacks of books to Mr. Pollito's new room!

*A stack of textbooks are dropped into Siren's arms, but Mini-Myself shrinks down.*

Mini-Myself: Try giving me the books now! (crushed under dropped textbooks and shocked through his slave collar) That's just messed up.

*So Siren and Mini-Myself trudge through the mall area with the heavy books while kids laugh at them and throw stuff at them. Finally they arrive by Mr. Pollito's room near the media center... BUT IT'S LOCKED!!!*

Mini-Myself: He's always late.

Siren: There's an opening above the door. Got a grappling hook on you?

Mini-Myself: Dammit, I knew I forgot something! My Gaffer's always telling me not to forget my grappling hook.

Mr. Pollito: Sorry I'm late. (unlocks the door as Siren and Mini-Myself rush in, place the heavy textbooks neatly into a stack and pass out)

Mecha-Gorenicus: Haha the vengence has begun!

Author: Lupine

Now returning to the desert island of desertness... ::Shots are heard in the background. May we have a moment of silence for our lost narrator::

Lupine: You! I thought we finally got rid of you!

Shadow:: You should know by now I'm hard to kill, muwahahahahaha!

::smith is puzzled::

Lupine: I can't believe you followed me here...Lucifer!

Lucifer: Well, what can I say? I like making your life a living hell!

::Smith is scared::

Lupine: No Smith, it's not the source of all evil Lucifer. Just my exroommate that used to live with me, Que Pasa, Scruffy, and Jebus before we became pirates long long ago.

Lucifer: I swore I'd get you back for leaving me tied up to that burning dynamite stick factory!

Lupine: (lays back and closes eyes) Yeah yeah yeah...

Lucifer: Don't ignore me! Please, I'm so lonely. I'll teach you the art of the elementalist!

::Lupine's eyes open and stare at him:: You're joking, you know the sacred art?

::Lucifer nods::

Lupine: Teach me, and I'll get you to be a crew member!

Lucifer: Oh, now you need me!

Lupine: I'll offer you Nemo as a sparring dummy.

Lucifer: Deal!

::And so began Lupine's vigorous training in the elemental arts.::

Lucifer: The one thing you must always remember is the sacred words. They are Aeolus, Ignis, Terra, Aqua. Each means another element in old tongue and by channeling your mage power into a point of your body when saying the word the element will be your servant. Aeolus is wind, Ignis is fire, Terra is earth and Aqua is water.

Lupine: I get it! The ancient tongue makes the power work!

Lucifer: No, it just sounds cooler.

::Smith lays silent and forgotten::

::Lupine gradually increases his progress, but also since he is not resting or eating grows even crazier in isolation::

Lucifer: Mmmmmmm, this steak that just happened to land here by convenient plot hole is so good!

Lupine: Can I have some?

Lucifer: No, first you must light your fire with magic and then eat your rocks.

Lupine: But I do light it, and you put it out!

Lucifer: Making you suffer is fun.

::Lupines lights it, but Lucifer pours a gallon of water on the wood making it unusable::

Lucifer: Hahahahaha, you suck!

::Lupine looks at Smith.::

Lupine: I always hated him.

::Smith nods.::

::Three days later...::

Lucifer: Lupine, you have 3 tests left. One you must create a storm, two you must enter the forest and bring me one of those monsters and three bury yourself during hightide.

::Lupine stares at him::

Lucifer: Fine, just the first two but since you are almost ready I am prepared to give you your new weapon :: pulls out of a plot hole a double bladed sword staff:: Here.

Lupine: So this is the medium which I focus my magic and attack with!

Lucifer: Nooooo it's to look cool and cut stuff with. DUH! Now make me a storm.

Lupine: AEOLUS AQUAS!!!

::Lightening strikes Lupine::

Lucifer: I knew that would happen, so you pass by causing self injury.

::Hail the size of a computer strikes Lupine in the groin::

Lucifer: You pass with flying colors.

::Smith laughs::

Lupine: This is the greatest pain ever!

::A comet hits him in the crotch::

Lupine: Correction, that was!

::Meanwhile in Heaven::

Carrot Top: Bro, wassup.

Jebus: Need a place to crash. So where's the whiner?

Jesus walks in.

Jebus: Hey nephew:: devious smile::

Jesus: Oh God!

Carrot Top: Yes?

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Lupine wanders through the forest.*

Lupine: Water... water... (collapses)

*Smith motions to a fresh river flowing past.*

Lupine: No you fool, that's a mirage- a product of the stressed mind! It's really a pool of BLOOD! Don't let the vampires win.

*Lupine's eyes strain, and a Que Pasa Mirage appears before him.*

Lupine: First Mate?

Que Pasa: Lupine. Go to the Dagobah system. There you will find an enormous master of great power called Mike...

Lupine: Mike? Mike who?

Que Pasa: Mike DICK (breaks out into wild laughter)

Lupine: Do you have an actual point or what?

Que Pasa: I'm just saying don't give up yet. Be steadfast and true like your pet owl.

Lupine: Aeolus is a hawk not an owl!

Que Pasa: ... (pokes Lupine in the eyes, then grows wings and flies away) I'M A BEAR

Lupine: (covering his eyes) Why are my mirages so realistic?

*Elsewhere Siren and Mini-Myself are being forced to take US History I. Mini-Myself didn't do his homework, so Mr. Malkuitz is making him clean desks. Nemo peeks in through the window to do some annoying crap, but Siren produces a shotgun and blows him away.*

Siren: Why are we even taking this class?

Mecha-Gorencus: I require all my slaves to be well-versed in American history.

Mini-Myself: (trying to wipe permanent pen marks off a desk) Like all those slave rebellions?

Mr. Malkuitz: I STILL SEE INK WIPE HARDER

Mecha-Gorenicus: Damn, what was I thinking? (his arm falls off again) MECHANIC!!!

*The French mechanic rushes in from the bathroom.*

French Woman: Oui, can't you see I'm busy?

Mecha-Gorenicus: I need fixing.

French Woman: I told you to stop bowling with that arm.

Mecha-Gorenicus: If you're as good as you claim I should be able to!

French Woman: I'll pretend I didn't hear that! (welds his arm back on)

*In The Bizarro World, the crew of the Goldendom Cheesecake swiftly overtakes Aardvark-Leg Al's pirate crew. Que Pasa leads Al himself to the interrogation room. Along the way he passes Mega-Yourself, a supersized version of Mini-Myself who has a green flower for a beard, the well-respected five star Chef Leos and Bizarro Stampede.*

Bizarro Stampede: (cutting himself to Taking Back Sunday songs) Why was I born with such an uncreative name?

*Que Pasa interrogates Aardvark-Leg.*

Que Pasa: First I need you to state your name.

Al: You know my name.

Que Pasa: I'm sorry sir, we have to undergo standard procedure.

Al: Alright then, my name is Al.

Que Pasa: I'm sorry. Please repeat that?

Al: Al.

Que Pasa: (slips him a paper and a piece of paper) Spell it phoenatically. Wow, where'd I learn that word?

Al: You've gotta be kidding me.

Que Pasa: Well I'm sorry you weren't born with an easily-pronouncable name like Frzlngd or something.

Al: Why don't I just slip you a Pez like always Nan Deska, and you leave me off with a ticket.

Que Pasa: I wouldn't do such a thing, I'm dedicated to justice.

*Que Pasa snaps his fingers, and some Bizarro guards who have legs for arms drag Aardvark-Leg away.*

Al: YOU'RE DEAD TO ME, NAN DESKA, YOU HEAR ME??

Que Pasa: No.

Aardvark: (makes hissing noises)

*And so later that day Aardvark-Leg is imprisoned.*

Ruffy: It's about time we actually got a criminal behind bars good. Must've ran out of money, eh?

Que Pasa: Y'know, even though you say we're swabbies, you still seem alot like a captain to me.

Ruffy: Damn your amnesia. You're speaking of memories I don't want to remember. Let's just say I almost was captain. But the Extremely Sane Guy proved to be the stronger. I wound up a swabbie, stripped of my dignity, and my loss is signified in this scar (points to his cool-ass scar).

Que Pasa: That's it? Why you can easily be captain. I'll help you!

Ruffy: How do you suggest we do that?

Que Pasa: Simple: Mutiny.

Author: That Krazy Dude

No Name steps off the ship...

No Name: Ahh, it's great to be back on land. I can just smell that fresh, highly polluted air. *looks over to see a group of ambiguously gay looking men in leotards. the leader comes up to him*

???: Hey buuuuddy!

No Name: Oh my God. it's...

Meanwhile Krazy Dude, Shiny Stallone, and his two left-hand men were riding in Shiny's pimped out hover car with hydraulics...

Shiny: Alright, I'll fill you in on the mission one more time. We're gonna pull up in front of the Fruits' HQ, and my boys here are gonna start shooting. While they're distracted, you and me are gonna sneak into the base and plant this box of explosives in the base. Then we make a run for the docks where we meet one of my contacts. She's a bit lost in thought sometimes, but she's a good girl through and through. Alright, you got it?

Krazy: Did you ever think to yourself why you have to expect the unexpected? I mean if you expect the unexpected, then what was originally expected becomes unexpected. But then you'd have to expect that. But you can't expect everything, because that would be like expecting to die and live at the same time. I mean there are also zombies and stuff, but they're neither alive nor dead. Just sorta sitting there. And if you keep analyzing it, you'll wind up finding so many truths and untruths that you're just gonna go insane and be warped to a parallel universe and sorta sit there in limbo for the rest of your life.......chicken nuggets! *eats randomly placed box of chicken nuggets*

Shiny: ......I'll.....take that as a....yes?

Krazy: What?

Shiny: Never mind...oh we're here!

*The car pulls up in front of the house. Krazy and Shiny step out, and the henchmen get laser BFGs out of the trunk.*

Shiny: I'm not getting a good feeling from this.

Krazy: Hey look, it's the people from the Fruit of the Loom commercial.

Shiny: What are you....oh my God! Take cover!!!11

*The Fruits rush out of nowhere and start firing at the mob. The henchmen fire back as Krazy and Shiny rush for the building. The henchmen manage to take out the Fruits and take cover behind the car.*

Henchman: Go ahead boss, we'll keep ya covered. The Fruits shall fear our Italian stereotypes!! *takes off jacket to reveal a wifebeater. puts a cigar in his mouth. places bowler derby on head. Two fruits rush out, and the henchmen waste 'em* Fuck yo eh! *takes out a bowl of pasta which he starts to devour. The other henchmen follows the first's lead and does the same.*

Krazy: Wow, these dudes are worse than me.

Shiny: No time stupid, keep going.

Inside the base in Pauley Shore's office...

Pauley Shore: So the mob has arrived. The Fruits will only hold 'em off for so long. That's why I need you two. I can sense both of your potentials are high.

No Name: What do you need me for?

Pauley: My friend, I have watched plenty of movies other than the crappy ones I've been in. It's obvious that you're a Jedi. You wield the Force, and I can use this in a way that can be very useful to me.

No Mame: I am a Jedi Knight, but I will not use my powers for personal gains or for the greed of others!

Pauley Shore: Oh really, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuddy? *cuffs come out of nowhere and latch around No Name's wrists*

No Name: Ahhh!!! What is this!?

Pauley: Now you can only do what I tell you.

No Name: Damn you! You'll never get away with this!

Pauley: Yes I will. But anyway, *turns to the other person sitting next to No Name* I have heard that you are called the Urban Alchemist.

Alchemist: So what if I am?

Pauley: You also can be of use to me.

Alchemist: Your mom can be of use to me!

No Name: Ooooooo!!!!11

Pauley: *smacks the alchemist and places the cuffs on him* You've got quite a mouth on you, boy. I'll deal with it later, but for now it appears that we have company.

Krazy and Shiny Stallone are just about to reach Pauley Shore's office....

Shiny: Hold on.

Krazy: What is it?

Shiny: I want to give you one thing before we charge in that room like complete idiots yet in a really cool fashion. *holds out a mop and hands it to Krazy Dude*

Krazy: *takes the mop* A mop? *turns it to see that there's a blade on the other side* Awesome!!

Shiny: You said that you were a janitor, so I figured that you would like this. It's a weapon prototype that we were developing. I don't know why it doubles as a mop but it's should suit you fine.

Krazy: Thanks, Shiny! *clasps hands with Shiny like the many cliched anime cartoons that you see on Cartoon Network and WB*

Shiny: Let's get these assholes.

*Krazy and Shiny burst into the office. No Name and Urban Alchemist get up and face them. They don't look like themselves. They seem possessed.*

Krazy: No Name! It's you! And...some other guy! It's also you!!!

*No Name and Urban Alchemist remain quiet and stand there with glazed looks in their eyes.*

Shiny: Something's wrong with these guys.

*Pauley Shore walks into view from some random dark corner.*

Pauley: Oh, I don't think they're gonna be welcoming either of you with open arms. They're under my control now.

Krazy: What have you done!?

Pauley: Nothing that concerns you. GET THEM!!!

*Urban Alchemist and No Name charge towards Shiny Stallone and That Krazy Dude. A huge ass battle ensues while Pauley Shore poses in his rainbow colored leotard in the background.*

Narrator: Okay I'm back, what'd I miss?

Krazy: Just about half of the fucking story you ass!

Shiny: Yeah, what the hell's wrong with you? Fuck you!

Krazy: Jeez, I mean we've been using fucking asterisks the whole damn time!

Narrator: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay? I'll just continue where you left off. Ahem....

The battle continues on ferociously as Krazy Dude tries to fend off No Name, and Shiny Stallone dodges whatever Urban Alchemist can transmutate at him. As No Name tries to swing at Krazy Dude with his laser sword, he manages to block it with his mop which can apparently block laser sword energy. As the fight continues, Krazy notices the strange cuffs on both Alchemist and No Name.

Krazy: Shiny! Take out those things on their wrists! It's the only way!

No Name tries to swing at Krazy again, but he dodges to the side and thrusts the mop into the cuff on No Name's wrist. It breaks, and No Name stops and looks around confused. Krazy Dude takes this opportunity to break the cuff on No Name's other wrist.

Shiny Stallone manages to avoid a dagger thrown by Urban Alchemist and shoots the cuffs off his wrists with his handgun.

No Name: What's going on? Krazy Dude, what are you doing here? Last thing I remember, this horrible actor in a rainbow leotard was putting this thing on my wrists and now I'm here with you, a ghetto dude with strange symbols on his hands, and a big bald dude.

Urban Alchemist: Who are you people?! *turns around to face Pauley Shore* You! You're the one who dragged me here!

Shiny: This fucker was controlling you guys with some shit on your wrists.

No Name: Oh really now?

Everyone turns to look at Pauley Shore.

Pauley: So you're gonna try and stop me now? Well guess what? I may die, but the Fruits will always live on!

Shiny: Not really. All your guys are sorta dead.

Pauley: Dammit. Well I guess I'll just have to take you guys out myself.

Pauley slowly transforms into the purple version of the Hulk.

Pauley: Pauley mad now! Pauley smash!!

Krazy: Shiny, we gotta take em out!

Shiny: Lemme handle this!

Shiny positions his head in the sunlight that's going through a nearby window. A glare bounces off hsi head and into the Pauley Hulk's eyes. It only makes him even angrier.

Krazy: It's not working!!!

No Name: Wait, I can help!

No Name uses the Force to make an even more intense light inside the room. The glare starts to get even more intense.

Urban Alchemist: Huh, I have an idea.

Urban Alchemist transmutates a gigantic lamp and shines it at Stallone's head. The Pauley Shore Hulk thingy starts to scream in pain.

Krazy: Hold your zebras, countrymen!

Krazy Dude shines Stallone's head with cleaning detergents to make his head even shinier. This magnifies the intensity of the light by even more. Pauley Shore explodes. The lights all dim down, and the room is back to normal.

Shiny: We gotta get outta here now. We're heading for the docks, and we're gonna find your ship. I'll plant the explosives, and we'll make a run for it.

The explosives are planted and set to explode. The four guys run toward the exit of the warehouse to see Arnold Schwarzenegger at the entrance.

Arnold: Get out of here now! Get to the chopper!!! Get to the chopper now!!! And while you do that, you can look at my muscles!!

Sylvester Stalone comes out of nowhere.

Sylvester Stalone: Hey. I'm a better action hero than you are! How come I can't be at the entrance telling people to get out of the warehouse?

Arnold: Because I'm easier to make fun of than you are!

Sylvester: That's it! You're going down!

Sylvester Stalone tackles Arnold Schwarzenegger into the warehouse as it explodes.

Krazy Dude: It's strange how all these celebrities manage to find their way to the future.

Shiny: Whatever. We gotta head to the docks.

Everyone gets into the hover car and head for the docks. When the car reaches the docks, everyone gets out except for Shiny Stallone and the henchmen.

Krazy: Aren't you going with us?

Shiny: Sorry kid. My place is here in New Jersey. Now that these fruits are gone, business should be good.

Krazy: Alright, if that's what you want. I'll miss ya man.

Shiny Stallone drives off after saying goodbye to everyone. Krazy Dude, No Name, and Urban Alchemist head towards the ship. They board it and see the lady that Shiny must've been talking about. Standing there was a girl who appeared to be lost in thought. Just sorta dreaming and wandering around. The three guys walk up to the girl.

Krazy: Uh excuse me...are you the captain of this ship?

???: Yes, I am. I don't really enjoy it though. Too much responsibility. I'd rather be a navigator. Much more fun in that. Can I help you guys?

No Name: Yeah. Shiny Stallone told us you can help us find our ship, the Golden Cheesecake.

Urban Alchemist: What's your name anyway?

Dreamer: Oh, you can just call me the Dreamer. So you want to find your ship huh? I'm sure I can help you with that. I can find just about anything.

Krazy Dude: Excellent!

And so they set sail to look for the Golden Cheesecake and reunite with all their crew mates again.

Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7