GCPA Sequel Chapter 7

Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Chapter 7: The Man

Author: No Name

Darth Minica: John's so ugly...he's just ugly!

Greco: What's 25+9 guys?

Darth Minica: 34! I bet the deed to my house on it!

Greco: Errr! wrong its 36!

Darth Minica: NO! I've lost my house and my dignity as dark lord of the sith!

Feeney: The only time you should spend your money is to buy a house..not those little $400 Hondas...and college....unless you're like Rubenstein...who's paying his college loan...still....

*Malcowicz in the dark corner*

Malc: Excellent my ideal prison for prisoners who are imprisoned is working. Soon they will have to start farming to live...then they will be ruled by no government...just anarchy. Then I'll imprison everyone. EVERYONE CAN FINALLY LIVE OUT MY LIFE THE WAY JEFFERSON INTENDED IT TO BE! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Darth Minica walking in the hallways having a flash back*

Edwin: Hey No Name can you hold my money for me? I don't wanna spend it.

No Name: Very well. I shall be your Hamilton and you my Washington!

Edwin: Are you coming on to me?

No Name: No dude. Que Pasa...! *pretends to throw golden dollar at Que Pasa in order to get a reaction*...look ugly! Hehehe you always were good at that.

Que Pasa: Thank you. I just want you to know I work hard every morning to look like this.

No Name: Really? I thought it was all natural.

Que Pasa: No No, everyday I smash my face into an ugly brick covered with ugly rusty nails.

No Name: Ah so that's your secret.

* In the desert*

Que Pasa: BA...T...MA...NNNNNNN!

Edwin: I know I'll just transmutate this sand to make some water.

Que Pasa: What time is it...NO Name?

No Name: Uh...2:15...how do I know? I'm the master of time.

Que PAsa: ARRRRGH! No! I'm the master of time! *Punches NO Name*

Stampede: I see Que Pasa's finally lost it. *watches Que Pasa swat air with fists*

Scruffy: I didn't know he had it to begin with! BURN!

No Name: Que Pasa do you think we have the power to shape our destinies?

Que Pasa: Well um..yea..I mean...

No Name: Wrong because if we had power then we would not desire it..which isn't the case because we're in constant search of it ..therefore we don't have the power to control our destiny...it is already predetermined and we cant do anything about it...

Que Pas: Uh...what was that formula for the slope of a line again?

No Name: It's Y equal m.......*illusion beings to disappear.*

Que pasa: NO! NO! NOOOOOOO!

Stampede: This reminds of the time Malc used me as an antennae in order to watch the world cup *flashback of GUZ-MAN being held over rabid hungry dogs between an alley way with a stick*

*Meanwhile Eugene Levy is in a backroom deal with Jefferson*

Levy: Sign here and federal government will no longer have power over the states.

Jefferson: I shall my good sir. I find you to give off an aura of trustworthiness and I believe that this can only go right in so many ways!

Author: Scruffy

*Elsewhere in the Faculty of Doom's Lair*

Noble: YON TWAIN THOU KNOWETH TO MUCH! Get them!

Sensei: Time to get serious, serious about kicking your uchimori!

Rafael: Well guys, looks like this is the end for us, take him first if you must *points at Patten*

Patten McGroin: Hey! Thats not fair *looks down sad and whines like a dog*

Mr. T: It's not over till the foolish obese lady who ate to much McDonalds sings!

*Mr. T looks around the lair, until he sees a low-wage immigrant worker plastering a newly made wall. The immigrant worker looks back*

Immigrant Worker: Orale compadre, no vas hacer lo que yo creo que vas hacer?

Mr. T: Shut yo jibba jabba foo'! This way suckas!

*Mr. T grabs one of the chairs which look a lot like the mall area chairs and throws it at the freshly plastered wall, shattering it into thousands of tiny polygonal squares*

Immigrant worker: Mi pare!!!

*Elsewhere in High Tech, Mrs. Brancato, grabs her chest, and falls onto one knee with a look of pain on her face*

Mrs. Brancato: My precious...

*Back at the lair*

Malk: Damn it! Now we're going to have to pay him for longer hours!

*Mr. T, Patten, and Ralph all run towards the shattered wall. Mr. T and Patten jump onto a platform below. Ralph stops at the edge of the hole.

Rafael: I've always wanted to tell you this, you all...

Mr. T: No time fool!

*Mr. T takes out one of his BFGs and aims it at the edge, causing it to crumble and collapse. Ralph and the low wage immigrant fall down and are caught by T. The BFG's automatic secondary fire kicks in and teleports right in front of anyone Mr. T sees as a potential target. Three green orbs of experimental unstable plasma appear in front of Noble, Sensei, and Malk and hit them, launching them backwards into the main pillar holding the lair up. Mr. T then launches the immigrant through the base of the Lair tearing the foundation apart and hits Mr. Noble as he is getting up.*

Patten McGroin: You did it! With the foundation and Main pillar gone, the base can't support its own weight. You destroyed the enemies base!

Rafael: Their holy sanctuary is no more.

Mr. T: We ain't out of this yet, we gotta out run the falling structure, before its kills us. We gotta go to T's van in B1 before we crushed by 10,000 pounds of foolish structures, don't touch my gold fool!

Rafael: You know the angry black man has a point.

Patten McGroin: You think! Run!!!

*As Mr. T, Patten, and Ralph jump from platform to platform to avoid being crushed by the collapsing lair, the rest of the crew face their own problems*

Scruffy: Pasa... st...op....choo...chooing on No...name's a-arm.

Edwin: That's your own arm.... idi...ot.

Scruffy: Oh, well then... it explain...s... the pain.

Que Pasa: I'm sorry, captain!!!

*All of a sudden Pasa is tackled by a jaguar*

No Name: I'll save....you.. *faints*

Lupine: Look guys, I found water!

*All crew members and the jaguar turn and look at Lupine. Then they pounce on him and fight for the water*

Lupine: Ahhh my newly surgically reconstructed face!!!!

*Elsewhere*

Mr. T: Here it is. Get in fool.

Patten McGroin: I wanna drive!

Mr. T: Soon Imma be driving my fist into yo face sucka!

Patten McGroin: Or you can drive.

Mr. T: It won't start... we gonna die!

Rafael: You know I always imagined myself dying while having sex with 3 hookers.

*Else-elsewhere*

Eugene Levy: With half of the crew resorting to cannibalism, that foolish ape and silly assassin about to be crushed, and the Alliance out of my way, I will be able to rule the world, FOREVER! Muwahahahahahaha!

*Ding*

Eugene Levy: Oooo, my empanadas are ready!

To be continued...

Author: Jebus

*On a totally unrelated note*
Jebus stood in front of a large round figure a bit surprised that the big man had called him to his 'office'. Of course this office was a dingy New Jersey trucker rest stop and the big man was really Ron L. Hubbard in an alien costume with a sash around him proclaiming the words Xenu.

Xenu: Now my child I know you have been paying your dues to me, soon enough you will be rewarded with the secret of Scientology!

Jebus: But I already know the secret. Those guys from YTMND ruined that a year ago..

Xenu stared at Jebus now, surprised and confused.

Xenu: Who are you boy?

Jebus: Im the brother of God bitch!

Xenu pulled out Dianetics book and began flailing it at Jebus before he was picked up by the demi-god and carried to the toilet. His head was placed inches from the brown water.

Xenu; This is blasphemy! This is madness!

Jebus: Madness..?

Jebus laughed for a few seconds, a roaring laugh of epic proportions, a laugh of the gods.

Jebus: THIS IS CHRISTIANITY!

Ron L. Hubbards head was thrust into the water as Jebus repeatedly pressed on the plunger, effectively giving the fraud a swilree. The scene goes slow motion, then fast, and slow again as he exits the bathroom.

Jebus: That was epic! Now what the hell happened to the crew..?

Jebus pondered what his pirate brothers could be doing at such a victorious moment, beating his longtime rival, the church of Scientology!

Jebus: Aww hell.. maybe I should stop being so lazy and use the godly powers of mine and figure out what the hell they could be doing... *Awkward Silence* Nahhhhh.

[So yeah.. some other GCPA-er figure some way to throw me in the middle of something stupid!]

Author: GORE-ILLA

*Lupine rushes into the forest chased by everyone else.*

Lupine: It's Lord of the Flies all over again!

*Lupine is pulled into a cave by a shadowy hand. He immediately recognizes the figure.*

Lupine: Lucifer!

Lucifer: Yeah, I was supposed to join your crew you nitwit! But I'll give your friends some food so they won't eat you if you let me join the crew.

Lupine: No way! The captain wouldn't allow that!

Lucifer: Fine then, we'll settle this the old-fashioned way! (tosses Lupine a fiddle) A fiddling contest! If you win, I'll give you the food and leave you alone... for now! But if I win, I'll be accepted into the pirate crew with YOUR job and call you an emo gay fool.

Lupine: Hm, sounds tempting... I'll do it!

*Elsewhere, the Mr. T starts his van. They begin wildly driving their way out of the collapsing building. However, Abbassi leaps onto the windshield and blasts a whole through it with his magic ring.*

Mr. T: Get dis motherfooling fool out of my van!

Rafael: I'm on it, chief!

*Rafael leaps at Abbassi and begins slugging him. Then he falls over backwards and kicks both feet into Abbassi's chest, sending him flying.*

Patten: Wow, his ring did basically nothing.

Rafael: That's because it was just a decoder ring from a cereal box.

*The van approaches the exit. Mr. I stands there.*

Mr. I: Stop right there!

*The van drives right past him.*

Mr. I: What... they did not... bow to my terror? (building falls on him)

*The group hears large stomping. They turn around and see Sensei pursuing in her giant form.*

Mr. T: I got a plan! Patten, take my good-luck blankie and do as I say!

*Mr. T stops the van. Patten runs outside and ties one end of the blankie to a lampost. Then he pulls out the other end and ties it to the back of the van, then re-enters the van. Mr. T drives the van quickly until the blankie is extended so that Sensei trips over it and returns to normal.*

Patten: Now let's get out of here!

Mr. T: No, go back out there and get me my blankie!

*Patten reluctantly returns outside and retrieves the blanket. Mr. G suddenly leaps up and is about to attack him, but is tazered by Meyer.*

Patten: Aren't you one of the Faculty of Doom, too?

Meyer: I'm undercover. The name's Meyer, Agent Meyer. My villainous roles have only been to test the abilities of your crew. You are progressing quite well. Now go, before the others come!

*Patten nods and runs back to the van, which takes off.*

Patten: Wait, weren't we supposed to save the other crewmates?

Mr. T: Good foolin' idea! Let's go find them!

*The van turns around and drives back towards the ruins of the building, where the remaining Faculty memories are waiting.*

Author: GORE-ILLA

Morgan Freeman: Holy batshit, I must complete the archives! We join our villain, the villainous Eugene Levy at some generic temple which of course contains the object of his desires. He is of course unknowingly being stalked by Pink Ninja and eLFa, whom none of you probably remember slipped away several posts ago, man this story's a mess.

Eugene Levy: Finally. With this, I shall be THE MAN!

*Eugene Levy reaches out for the Condum of Fate and grabs it, feeling its power racing through his body.*

Eugene Levy: YES! I AM THE MAN!

*Pink Ninja and eLFA flip out and reveal themselves in battle positions.*

Pink Ninja: So you're Saget's apprentice!

eLFa: I'm sure the two of us are a capable match for you!

Eugene Levy: I'm afraid you aren't.

*Pink Ninja summons his army of llama-riding Grunts, but with a clap of his hands Eugene Levy emits a sonic boom that slams them all against the walls.*

Pink Ninja: My precious minions!

Eugene: Also, watch me do this!

*Eugene Levy begins pirouetting at high speed in a circle around Pink Ninja and eLFa, until they fall over to the ground.*

eLFa: No... our... character development...

Eugene Levy: Don't worry, I'm sure you'll all find a permanent end after I take care of your stupid friends... right now!

*Placing his finger aside of his nose, Eugene Levy blasts off.*

Morgan Freeman: Let's see what's going on at that High Tech place...

Noble: (speaking madly into phone) The black man with the afro, his smarmy Indian sidekick and their bearded indifferent acquaintence have broken through Security Levels 1 through 8! We've lost a few of our Faculty of Doom to them! Now initiating evacuation procedures.... so redirect that pizza delivery to the middle of the ocean.

*Noble hangs up the phone and boards the bathysphere with the other 7 remaning Faculty of Doom members. The bathysphere takes off through the underground water main just as Mr. T, Patten McGroin and Rafael enter.*

Mr. T: RRRRAAAAAUGH!!!

*In anger, Mr. tears apart a desk, uses the spare lumber to construct a fine wooden cabinet, and then tears it apart with his bare hands.*

Mr. T: T hates it when fool villains get away. HE DAMN HATES IT!

*Mr. T tears off his clothes and leaps into the water.*

Mr. T: You damn fools coming?!

Rafael: Nah, I'm cool. (casually leaves)

Patten McGroin: Fine! Maybe I'll finally do something worth remembering...

*Patten leaps onto Mr. T's back as he dinosaur-paddles through the ocean in pursuit of the bathysphere.*

Morgan Freeman: And elsewhere, on that there GORE-ELLIGAN's Island (wait what?) the marooned pirates have made a makeshift boat. But oh no! There ain't room for all of them!

That Krazy Dude: What sound does a mastodon make.

Scruffy: Let's send off all the newbies first in case there are any storms. They're not important enough anyway.

One-Armed Willy: Maybe I should introduce you to my friend, he's named MY DICK!

Karl: What do YOU mean "you people"?

*Edwin, Karl, One-Armed Willy, the Asian Distracting Dude, Shiny Stallone, Dreamer, Frenchie and Lyssa are loaded onto the boat and set off to sea.*

Que Pasa: Those boys were our last hope.

No Name: No... there is... another.

Stampede: Didn't you turn evil again? Why do you keep appearing both with the villains and with us... AND IN POSTS THAT YOU WRITE!

No Name: I'm feeling very undecisive, y'know! Also, after I lost that bet with Greco I just couldn't go on being evil anymore so they tossed me here with you guys! (delirious smile)

*Siren grabs No Name and begins slapping him furiously.*

No Name: Oh baby! Do it harder!

Que Pasa: Oh! Can I have a turn?

Siren: Now I'm just creeped out. What happened to Lupine guys?

*Lupine crawls out of the cave carrying a rickshaw, which Lucifer stands on it wearing a pirate costume.*

Lucifer: Forget him! I am your new crewmate now, because this guy has never played a damn fiddle in his entire life. Incidentally, have I introduced you to my new slave, Gay Emo Fool?

Lupine: (grunts angrily)

Salama: What's angrily, can I eat it?

That Krazy Dude: But we won't be saved! We'll live as slaves to love! What God takes away, we'll refill all your holes with mud!

*At that moment Eugene Levy tunnels out of the sand.*

Eugene Levy: Well well. If it isn't the murderers of my old master.

Scruffy: What the... Eugene Levy?

Eugene Levy: That's right, after all this time it has come to this! Systematically breaking you all down and weakening you to this point. All for the sake of my master. WHOM I SHALL SURPASS! For behold, I wield the Condum of Fate, which channels all power of this Space through me, so that I may truly become... THE MAN!

*Eugene Levy begins to grow, with his skin becoming disfigured and unrecognizable as he becomes giant and monstrous, with his business suit reduced to tattered rags.*

Scruffy: Yeeeaah, thanks to my excellant dedu- (stepped on)

Que Pasa: Cap'n! ... Get this man a rump roast (kicked against a rock)

Lupine: (picked up by THE MAN) I'm not even an official member anymore- (crushed within fist)

That Krazy Dude: Hey Turtle-Breath, I would like a massage if you please watch my placenta. (karate chopped into the ground)

Siren: I'm a girl- (pinched between giant fingers)

Salama: What's a girl, can I eat it? (is flicked across the island, and he bounces across various features on the island like a pinball until he is stomped beneath THE MAN's foot)

Stampede and Mini-Myself: ALSO, US TOO! (crushed in some other variation)

THE MAN: RGGGUUUAAUH AUUHHHRRGGGGGG!!! (I did it! I finally destroyed the GCPA! For the grace of my master.)

*A figure races along the ground, to each and every one of the knocked out pirates.*

Morgan Freeman: What da fuck just happened? Elsewhere, back at the middle of the sea as you might'd guessed, that makeshift boat of the remaining pirates did meet with the Faculty of Doom's fucking pimp-ass bathysphere, codenamed the Babysphere. What's gonna happen next? I don't know.

*Total chaos has erupted.*

Morgan Freeman: More specific please, Mister asterick. Spying on 30 million people isn't part of my job description.

*Mr. Noble blasts a laser gun towards Edwin, who dances around to dodge them. Shiny Stallone dives into the water wrestling with Clyde while Miss Knight chases Dreamer and One-Armed Willy skateboards around Mr. Estrada who tries to freeze the ground around him. Karl fights his way through several K'nex solders while Marchese laughs jovially. Frenchie dodges Nan Deska's nose attacks while Lyssa is frozen in place by Gutmann's riddles and ADD is being beaten into the ground by Dr. T.*

Morgan Freeman: Chaos levels not satisfied. I'll help you this time... but consider this my letter of resignation.

*Just punch out when you're done.*

Morgan Freeman: At that point, a galleon approached, with Captain Crunch and Burger King, the remnants of that Unholy Alliance, aboard. They prepared to board the makeshift boat when suddenly some sort of black shark flipped out of the water and onto the two villains, tackling them. Mr. T then stepped up, and Patten McGroin dropped to the ground beside him.

Mr. T: Le's do this, foos!

Burger King: ...

Cap'n Crunch: Time for a part of your everyday asswhooping.

Patten McGroin: No, you don't. I'm mad now.

Morgan Freeman: Haha! Mr. T and the Burger King proceed to a staring contest while Patten and Crunch cross swords, and not in the homosexual context! Back on the island, where the ground is littered with the bodies of the battered, bruised, beaten and crippled pirates...

THE MAN: AAAAAYGRRh OUUUUUGGHHH (Damn, it burns to speak. Well now that my purpose is done, perhaps I should move on to more random destruction)

*THE MAN is about to leave when he is hit by a fireball, which makes him turn around in confusion.*

THE MAN: YYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUU?! (YYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUU?!)

*The man he faces is wearing a Millenium Nose, has suddenly grown boobs, has a rifle in one hand with a laser sword in the other and a mop blade wielded by his mouth, along with an unusual girth in his stomach and strangely enough, boobs. Additionally, he is being held in the air by none other than Lupine's fruity owl Aeolus, and he is surrounded by a flaming aura.*

Nemo: That's right. me.

Morgan Freeman: With that tantalizing tease, let's switch gears to our pirates who are out at sea...

*Mr. T and the Burger King stare intensely into each other's eyes. At the same time, Patten and Cap'n Crunch duel around them.*

Crunch: Your anger is great, laddie, as great as your neglectedness. We can have great room for you in our organization!

Patten McGroin: Screw all y'all! I'll never turn evil, and even if I do I'm sticking to being a lone dog! The groin hunts alone.

Crunch: But that will just make you easier to forget!

Patten McGroin: Shup up, what do you know! (stabs Crunch)

Crunch: Oh... (disintegrates into a swarm of Crunchberries)

*Below, Karl dodges bombs tossed by Marchese from his K'nex glider.*

Karl: Marchese, no! Think of all the good times we had together! Look deep into your heart and see if you can summon anything slightly resembling compassion!

*Marchese's face is shown close-up with a light shining on it.*

Marchese: ...You're right. The time has come. This world no longer has room for me. Come, Miss Knight.

*Marchese's K'nex glider shifts into an alien saucer and grabs Miss Knight into a tractor beam as it flies up to the sky.*

Miss Knight: What is this?! Fickle finger!

Karl: (salutes while looking up towards the fleeing Marchese, and a tear drips down his eye) I'll always remember you, Marchese. Always...

*Marchese looks back from the saucer and winks. He and Miss Knight disappear, never to be seen again.*

*At that point Shiny Stallone climbs out of the water carrying Clyde's unconsious body.*

Shiny Stallone: That's how we do it in the old town! (takes off his bowler hat to reveal angel hair pasta stored within and begins slurping it down) The unique combination of salt water and blood only enhances the taste!

Gutmann: So tell me, Alyssa. How do you feel, having been thrust into this irrational universe where it seems like you're not even a real character? Would you say... Kafkaesque?

*Lyssa does not get a chance to speak before Gutmann morphs into a giant cockroach.*

Gutmann: Damn, I hate it when that happens.

*Nan Deska and Frenchie duel.*

Nan Deska: A Frenchman! Just Nan Deska's style!

Frenchie: Ugh...

*Nan Deska dashes at Frenche, who takes her poofy dress off and uses it as a matador's cape, tricking Nan Deska into running into the Gutmanroach.*

Gutmann: BULLS HAVE NO BALLS!!! (explodes Star Fox 64 boss-style, taking Nan Deska with him)

*At that point, Edwin and One-Armed Willy olly over the explosion both on their skateboards and with hands linked.*

Edwin: Let's get 'em man.

One-Armed Willy: No homo.

*The two release each other's hands as they skate towards Estrada and Noble. Estrada tries freezing the ground as Edwin approaches him, but Edwin transmutates the ice into fire no matter how defying the laws of alchemy that may be, setting Estrada on fire. One-Armed Willy is able to dodge most of the lasers and finally punches Noble in the gut.*

Noble: Ugh... (falls over backwads with a thundering boom)

Edwin: We did it. We defeated our teachers once and for all.

Agent Meyer: Yeh did good, kids. Yeh did good.

*Mr. T and Burger King are still staring at each other.*

Burger King: ..- (explodes, explosion spreads to cover the entire area)

Morgan Freeman: Things seem okay here, so let's segue back to that island thing with that freakishly deformed Nemo. What the hell is up with that

Nemo: Everyone always forgets that power I have aside from dying... the Peter Petrelli Clause. I can do anyone's power at have of their power! In retrospect maybe I shouldn't have taken EVERYONE's power because Stampede won't stop making the transexual jokes when he wakes up, but they DO make me feel pretty.

*Nemo raises Stampede's sniper rifle and begins shooting mortar shells at THE MAN which have some impact. As THE MAN punches him, he uses Mini-MYself's shrinking abilities to dodge and climb onto THE MAN's hand.*

THE MAN: UGGH?!

*Nemo proceeds to grow to normal size and begin firing fireballs from the Millennium Nose using Stampede's accuracy.*

Nemo: Take that, ya big dumb monster! That'll teach you to mess with Big Marley Marl!

THE MAN: MMMMMMMAAAAMMMMMMAAAAAA!!! (I am THE MAN! You cannot hurt me!)

Nemo: Oh can I? ONI GIRI!

*Nemo uses Aelous to wing-dash forward and has Stampede's sniper rifle grow a blade, then slashes through THE MAN's chest with the sword-rifle, the laser sword and the mop blade combined with Salama's girth and while fully flamed-on.*

THE MAN: UGGAAAAHHHH....

Professor Oak: He's weak. It's time to capture him, you fucking asshole kid!

Nemo: But I don't have any Pokeballs!

Professor Oak: Of course, there's no such thing as Pokeballs asswipe! Dimensions you dumb fool, send him into a whole 'nother canon!

Nemo: I see...

*Nemo uses one of Lupine's powers to rip open a portal. THE MAN starts to get sucked in, but resists.*

Nemo: He's resisitin'! What's a Jimi Hendrix-loving Dominican like myself supposed to do?

Professor Oak: Are you a boy or a girl?

Nemo: *looks down* -_____- Right.

*Nemo flies into THE MAN's face, flashing his Siren breasts at him. THE MAN is stunned and stumbles back into the portal which closes beneath him.*

THE MAN: UUUUUUUUURRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! (MY EMPEROR... I'VE FAILED YOOU!!!!)

*Nemo lands and returns to normal as the other pirates wake up.*

Scruffy: What da hell just happened...

Siren: I feel like I've been hit by eight Range Rovers. Did we... did we have an orgy?

Que Pasa: About ti- wait what about the big Hulk-type guy? What was his name...

No Name: Eugene Levy.

Que Pasa: Nope, it was definitely Zombie River Phoenix. STOP BEING A DAMN KNOW-IT-ALL SISSYPANtS NO NAME!

No Name: What... I'll SHOW YOU! I'll be the first man to double major and live in a completely different state than you!

Que Pasa: You wouldn't dare... WHAT IF I BOUGHT YOU FLOWERS!

Salama: What's a flowers, can I eat them?

That Krazy Dude: When I become an award-winning DJ, my first fire brigade will be named after you.

Nemo: Yeah, I beat him myself. Who wants my autograph first?

Lupine: WAIT!

Everyone Else: *chimes in in unison* They don't love you like I love you!

Lupine: No, where's Lucifer?

Nemo: Oh... (points over to Lucifer, who had been crushed to actual death offscreen)

Lupine: (holds Lucifer's body dramatically while crying to the heavens) NEIN!

Nemo: But yeah, I saved you all.

Stampede: Oh I know. "Big Marley Marl".

Nemo: -______-

Stampede: Are you okay? I guess the breast augmentation must have taken alot out of you.

Que Pasa: Were they voluptuous?

That Krazy Dude: How many teeth?

Stampede: I'll tell you guys all about it over dinner. Now where's the damned ship?

Scruffy: I don't know. You don't think... they might not have made it, did they?

No Name: That sentence just broke my mind.

Salama: (to Lupine) You done with that? (slurps up Lucifer)

Lupine: (begins weeping)

Scruffy: Haha! Oh Salama, our crew would never do without you or that huge amount of crewmates we've taken in recently? We'd never trade you for anything in the world!

Stampede: While we're making ironic jokes about the future, would this be an appropriate forum for a Siren-Willy joke?

That Krazy Dude: Aha! Aha!

*Siren is about to slug Stampede when everyone is stopped in their tracked when they hear a La Cucaracha horn. Mr. T is seen on the deck of the Golden Cheesecake, parked at at the island, surrounded by the rest of the victorious crewmates.*

Mr. T: Fools, we all back together now! Le's go show dem seas how we do this!

*Siren proceeds to punch Stampede anyway, and all the pirates race towards the ship.*

Siren: We'll all still be fun-loving pirates years from now, right?

Que Pasa: Oh sure, I'm definite we'll have years worth of adventures!

That Krazy Dude: But how my pet geese get their groove back guys?!

Morgan Freeman: The distant future. A man is watching these events on a viewscreen, while his leg twitches irritably, and a familiar yet unusually long mane of dark hair crawls down his neck.*

???: Hm... so that is what it was like back then. A pity. They do not stand a chance against me. Nor will they ever.

*Morgan Freeman punches in his name and begins to walk away, but at that point all the screens short-circuit and black-out.*

Morgan Freeman: Oh, you think that's enough to change my mind and make me stay, eh? ...You know me too well.

The End... for now

*Jebus rushes in wearing a bathrobe.*

Jebus: Hey guys what did I miss?

Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7