Gamehiker Member OG 8 Page 4

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Intermission

Half Time Show/Recap by Golem

Author: GORE-ILLA

*The GMOGers continue drifting through the ocean. Scruffy looks ahead with a telescope.*

Scruffy: I see land, dead ahead!

Masamune: Is it Yoshi's Island?

Scruffy: I don't know, I just see some smiling clouds.

Vorpal: That's it all right!

*Suddenly, Mercantilism speeds by, tipping the boat over. As the boats pass, Luigi briefly starts to open his eyes, while Luiigii looks over from the Mercantilism. Their eyes briefly lock in the moment before they pass each other. Luigi then passes out again before hitting the water, but is caught by one of the others.*

Sapphire: Y'know, I think we can swim it from here and make better time.

*The other GMOGers soon swim up to the island's shore.*

Yami Yoshi: Look! Invaders from a universe of evil dudes! Destroy them, my loyal OGers!

*The MOGers all rush at the GMOGers. Roy and Kuria sit the battle out to look after the still-unconscious Luigi.*

Masamune: Look at these so-called OGers! Hey, since we oppose you and only six of us are fighting, I say we call ourselves...

*Masamune, Murasame, Rhyk, Vorpal, Scruffy and Sapphire pose together.*

All in Unison: The Anti-OG Six!

Masamune: ...How did you know what I was gonna say?

*Vorpal starts to duel with SwordMaster.*

SwordMaster: You...

Vorpal: Have we met before?

Demon of Vorpal's Sword: (in SwordMaster's mind) Come, you know my power. Take me... use my power like this man is too afraid to!

*SwordMaster blinks and shakes it off as he continues to duel with Vorpal.*

*Rhyk heads straight for Yami Yoshi, ready to impale him on the TASTS, but then GORE leaps in and pounds Rhyk down to the ground. Rhyk drops the pen, and he begins boxing with GORE.*

GORE: I've had enough of you, freaky robot kid who reminds me of that Golem dude!

Rhyk: Do you know... that S-Space... IS DETEIORATING?

GORE: I dunno, but your face sure is! (punches Rhyk in the jaw)

*However, at that point Masamune leaps down and swings at GORE. GORE rolls out of the way while Rhyk scrambles around in search of the TASTS.*

GORE: Masamune?

Masamune: Hey, you're a real ape! Gippetto must have granted your wish!

GORE: Wait just one minute.

*GORE runs over to a nearby dumpster. He rushes back over with a laser sword and ignites it.*

GORE: Courtesy of my old friend, The Monkey.

Masamune: Another sword duel? Whatever.

*Chizu tackles Sapphire, initiating some hot catfight. Murasame rushes Culex and initiates a dazzling sword attack, but Culex uses the Elemental Crystals to block the strike.*

Culex: You knave, do you know how high my HP is? I never really use my power much for some reason, but in comparison to Jim I do qite alot!

Murasame: Shut up! I beat Suepr Mario RPG blindfolded while playing strip poker with all eight of your mothers.

Culex: RRAAAUGH!! (has the fire crystal shoot some flames that knock Murasame back)

*Kantii swoops down towards Roy, but Kuria moves in his way and puts an arrow into her bow, aiming it at Kantii. This causes Kantii to stop and flap his wings in place.*

Kantii: I can fly, right?

Kuria: Stay back, or I'll clip your wings.

Kantii: My wacky sense of honor forbids me from hurting you! Please move so I can beat around the nerdy teenager and the greasy knocked-out hobo!

*Scruffy leaps in and clocks Kantii with a flaming fist. Kantii is sent flying over and lands back on the ground.*

Kantii: (rubs burnt cheek( Knave! You have just stricken the great Lord Kantii of the Crows! I shall show you no respect!

Scruffy: Yeah, well you've just been stricken by Captain Monkeyman Scruffy of the Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada! If you won't let the nice lady clip your wings with her arrows, I'll have to burn them off.

*Elsewhere, Rhyk is still searching for the TASTS. He finally finds it, but then a foot steps on it. He looks up to see Yami Yoshi standing there.*

Yami Yoshi: Looking for something there, Rhykie Lake?

Rhyk: Yami! ...Wait, something seems different about you... for one, you look about a decade younger....

Yami Yoshi: Enough! I'm sick of you and all you moronic villains.

Rhyk: This is for the greater good!

Yami Yoshi: Yeah, well it's time I started handing out heaping mouthfuls of justice! Dark Omelet!

*Yami quickly produces a cluster of Dark Eggs and begins mercilessly pummeling Rhyk.*

Rhyk: Arf arf arf! (tumbles over backwards while some pieces of his body begin falling off)

GORE: (dueling with Masamune) Yami! Are you sure these guys are evil? He doesn't seem any different from the Masamune I met.

Yami: Well they're evil! Destroy them all!

Scruffy: (turns while chasing Kantii) Yo robo-dude, are you sure we gotta kill these guys? They don't seem too bad.

Rhyk: It's the only way! Just listen to me!

*Rhyk lunges forward and begins furiously punching at Yami Yoshi. Yami glares, as his eyes turn red and he sprouts fangs.*

Yami: You're first, Rhykardo!

Author: Masamune

Narrator Newbie: And here we are, ladies and gentlemen! On one side, the GREAT OG SIX! On the other side, an unusual group that claim to be from another timeline - THE ANTI-OG SIX. Let's see how our contestants are doing! Here's Round 1: Murasame vs. Culex!

Murasame: Nice crystals.

Culex: Thanks.

Murasame: You get them from your mommy?

Culex: I- YOU BASTARD I DON'T HAVE A MOMMY!

~Murasame swings madly with his sword, splintering the crystal into shards! OMG!~

Culex: Wait, what!? That's not right! You can't do that!

Murasame: Except I beat Jinx three times! You're a pushover! FINAL ATTACK: PREMATURE OG ENDING!

Flashforward:

---

~in the midsts of all this chaos, something else was happening. And that was the Omnipotence landing. It's very important to remember that you italicize it, because if you don't then people will think it's just a regular omnipotence~

Murasame: *gets off and looks around* What. The. Hell.

Author 1: This wasn't expected!

Murasame: This makes me angry. *snaps fingers* Krunk! Snipes!

Krunk: BOSS?

Snipes: Yessss?

Murasame: I feel like randomly messing this story up. Call in your relatives.

~in mere moments there are all kinds of kremlings and lizalfos gathered~

GORE: ThIs Is UnExPeCtEd. WhY aM i tAlKiNg lIkE tHiS?

Saru: I don't get a line because Murasame never heard of me. *cries*

Fusion: Me too.

Murasame: Okay giant horde of creatures. PARTY!

Yami: *falls to knees in agony* Noooo! I hate parties! I hate! I hate! I hate!

Introbulus: *cough* And?

Yami: Oh and um. It's Lupus's fault or something. *shrugs*

Authors: Wait! But this is the last post on the page! You can't just end it like-

THE END

---

Culex: W-wait! That hasn't happened yet-----! *crystals explode and he falls to the floor helpless* NooooOOOOoooo!!

Narrator Newbie: SPICY! Now here we have GORE and Masa engaged in a fight of- High Card!?

Masamune: Okay, you cut the deck.

GORE: *deep breath... pulls up card* Ha! Queen! Beat that!

Masamune: *pulls up... a 2!*

GORE: Ha! You lose!

Masamune: No, YOU LOSE. A queen is a woman and inherently worthless!

GORE: What!? That's not the rules!!

Masamune: Screw the rules!

GORE: Best two out of three?

Masamune: Oh fine, but only because you remind me of someone... if only I knew who...

Flashback:

---

Masamune: *covers Kuria's mouth* -about my plan to give them all raises!? I was going to keep it a secret!

~the crew cheers~

GORE: *wipes tear from eye* You're the best captain ever. Except for the other one in the Cheesecake Armada. But that's only because he put fountain drinks in the employee lounge.

Masamune: ... and I was going to do that!

---

Masamune: Oh well, it'll come to me.

Narrator Newbie: ... boring! And shocking maybe! Let's take a break and see how things are going elsewhere...

SteveT: *punches a little kid*

Narrator Newbie: Chilling!

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

~The little kid that SteveT punches is in fact the embodiment of Saphnity, who is sitting in the pilot's seat of Mercantilism.~

Saphnity: Ow. What?

SteveT: You're in my boat.

Mercantilism: I am my own boat.

SteveT: Shut up, you.

~Mercantilism starts doing flips in an attempt to shake the SteveTrio off him. Luiigii crawls over to the control board he placed Saphnity within and starts slicing through it with his laser sword. Machinery flies everywhere and--~

SteveT: What are you doing?

Luiigii: Getting the gem.

SteveT: ...How?

~Luiigii looks down at his laser sword, which is unbladed.~

Luiigii: Ha ha. Silly me. I went and broke the crystal and OMG WHY DID I BREAK THE CRYSTAL?!

SteveT: I dunno, but it's worth a demotion I'm sure.

Evil Zombie Phil: Can I have his hat?

SteveT: Absolutely.

Evil Zombie Phil: Dance like the night of inside outs! ~steals Luiigii's hat and accidently drops it into the ocean~

Luiigii: I miss it already... again. ~looks up and waits for Masamune's hat to fall on him, which it doesn't~

~ANYWHO~

~Chizu leaps up a tree to get away from Sapphire and notices that Yami has sprouted fangs and red eyes.~

Chizu: Hades?

~Sapphire flies up to Chizu's level with her parasol and tries to kick her while still in the air. Chizu falls backwards and lands softly on the branch below, then grabs some leaves and throws them like bullets at the other woman. Sapphire's parasol is shredded and she falls, but reaches out and grabs the closest branch. Sapphire swings on the branch and into Chizu, who catches her feet and swings her away. Chizu leaps down and runs to help SwordMaster, but an arrow hits her in the shoulder courtesy of Kuria.~

Roy: Holy... you just shot her in the back!

Kuria: I'm all angsty without Ditto.

~Chizu falls to the ground, her wound bleeding cheese. GORE-ILLA turns away from his super exciting card duel at the smell of it.~

GORE-ILLA: Ch-ch-ch-cheese?

~GORE-ILLA turns and runs toward Chizu, tossing Scruffy, Kantii, Vorpal, and SwordMaster in the process. He grabs the arrow and prepares to yank it out, but SwordMaster jumps up and grabs GORE's wrists.~

SwordMaster: Don't! You can't just rip it out, you'll kill her!

GORE-ILLA: Butbutbutbutbutbutbutbut cheese!

~Scruffy throws a fireball at them both; SwordMaster jumps over it while GORE ignores it and is consequently thrown back when it hits. SwordMaster lands and crouches down to remove the arrow, calling for Kantii. Scruffy prepares another fireball, but Vorpal steps in front of him.~

Vorpal: Wait!

Scruffy: Come ON! Are we or are we NOT trying to kill them?

Vorpal: I hate to be the voice of reason here, but look. ~points at Yami~

Masamune: Whoa. That's our Yami!

Scruffy: Does it make a difference?

Vorpal: Maybe. Rhyk's not giving us complete answers and our Yami is trying to get these people to kill us.

Masamune: Is he really OUR Yami? I mean, isn't he his own Yami? Can any of us really claim him?

Vorpal: Shut up, Masa.

Scruffy: At least call him Dark Yami, so that I can tell them apart.

Vorpal: We've been using Demon Yami Yoshi. Besides, that's redun--

Scruffy: DARK YAMI! I'M-A KILL J00!

~Masa and Munewhile, Demon Yami lunges at Rhyk and grabs him by the arms, then rips them off. He continues tearing Rhyk apart until the robot is in dozens of pieces, then eats the pieces and craps them out in individual eggs. He turns to pick up the TASTS and is hit head-on by flying Scruffy. Demon Yami grabs Scruffy and pins him to his body, then backflips and slams him into the ground. Scruffy ignites himself, but Demon Yami ignores the flames.~

Demon Yami: You OGer wannabes just can't match up!

Author: Luigi of the Pipes

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