GCPA Sequel Chapter 1
| Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel |
| 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 |
Chapter One: A Crew Fractured
Author: That Krazy Dude
On the deck of the Golden Cheesecake...
Scruffy: Mr. T, doesn't this place look strange to you?
Mr. T: I dunno about me, but it better look strange for you, fool! You've been frozen for a thousand years fool!
Scruffy: What!? How is this possible? How are you here?
Mr. T: It's the gold, fool! The gold absorbs my age! I'm young forever, fool!
Scruffy: So that explains it all. Damn. How was I out for a whole thousand years?
Mr. T: Mr. T believes it was the tornado you fools were in. Something tells Mr. T that tang didn't just use that tornado to separate you.
Scruffy: Now that you mention it....
*flashback*
Everyone is inside the tornado and is about to get launched away. Before they are launched, a voice is heard coming from the eye of the tornado.
Saget: Curse you Cheesecake Pirates... you may have... defeated me.... but we shall have to see... how you fare against my disciple.... my true apprentice... my... CREATION!!!!!! k-k-k-k-k-kkkkkkkkk!!!!! I... SHALL BE... BACK!!!!!
*Back to the ship.*
Scruffy: Saget isn't done yet, I see.
Mr. T: So it was that fool Bob Saget that was really behind it all. I knew it was him. You can tell by his crappy performance in Fool and Foolerer.
Scruffy: Don't you mean Dumb and Dumberer?
Mr. T: Whatever fool! Where do we go now?
Scruffy: We can't fight his apprentice alone. We must get together with the rest of the crew. We have to find them somehow.
Scattered all across the fool world... I mean "world"... the rest of the crew members stirred back to consciousness. They had been incapaitated and put into an unaging sleep until the time came that they would be needed again to save the world.
*in China*
First Mate Que Pasa wandered along the streets of China, staring in amazement at the many high tech, futuristic technologies that the people possessed. As he wandered he looked at the cool things they had. He was amazed to find many things that he could read. He wondered why the hell he could read this. Then he realized that he took a Japanese class in the past. The words he was reading were in Japanese!
He reached the capitol building to see that at the top of the building were both the Japanese and Chinese flags. China must've merged with Japan. this could only mean one thing...
Que Pasa took off at full speed until he reached a building that he knew would give him answers. He rushed into the building and looked around wildly. Then he saw it! They had the newest Nintendo console and games for it. Sadly he only had $5 on him. He was hungry too. So instead of buying any Nintendo games, he decided to go to the nearby city wok.
He walked into the city wok and ordered some chicken and sweatsocks. While he was sitting at a table waiting for his food, an Asian man walked up to his table and sat down.
???: You are not from around here are you?
Que Pasa: *roar*
???: I see. There is an emptiness inside you. I can feel it.
Que Pasa: IMPOSSIBLE!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!
???: That's not me. It's Tanaka-San. He just likes touching people's heads.
Que Pasa: Oh... so how can you possibly know that there is something wrong with me?
???: I have been overexposed to too many Japanese role-playing games.
Que Pasa: Who are you anyway?
???: Oh, I'm sorry. Allow me to introduce myself...
Que Pasa: I already asked you to introduce yourself. Look up a couple of lines. It says clearly, "Who are you anyway?" If that's not asking you to introduce yourself then what the hell is? Huh? Are you some sort of communist or something? Tell me!!!
???: My name is Marvin but many know me as ADD.
Que Pasa: Attention deficit disorder?
ADD: No, the Asian Distracting Dude.
Que Pasa: Oh.
At that moment, an insanely over-enthusiastic Asian dude came running into the city wok.
Random Asian Dude: AHHH!!! IT'S THE BUDDHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! *faints*
ADD: Can this be true?! Quick, come with me!
Que Pasa and ADD run to the town center to see a huge crowd, but the crowd didn't block out the center of the attention. At the center of the crowd, looking dumb-founded and hungry, was Salama!
In a strange place of unknown location, Patten Mcgroin found himself wandering around. He looked around to see clouds and a lot of rainbows and people who appeared to be monkeys. During his wandering, he found a giant building that appeared to be the center of the place where he was. He figured that in there lied the answer to where he was and what he was doing here. He went inside the building to find a purple monkey at the reception desk.
Patten: Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?
The monkey looked at him in amazement.
Monkey: Oh my God! It's a human! We haven't seen your kind around here for ages!!!
Patten: That's very nice, but I just need to know where I am.
Monkey: Yes, of course. Come with me.
Patten: Hahaha!!! You said come!!!!
Monkey: What? Is this some sort of strange human joke? Whatever. Just follow me.
Patten was lead into a large office. He sat there waiting someone to come in and tell him what was going on. Then a green monkey walked into the room.
Green Monkey: So you're the human I'm hearing of. There have been prophecies of your arrival for a long time. It is said that you will lead us, and we shall prosper under your rule.
Patten: What?!
Monkey: Yes. We have had...problems recently.
Patten: What kind of problems exactly?
All of a sudden a huge explosion was heard. Patten and the monkey rushed to the window. There were planes flying overhead, and bombs were being dropped on the monkey people.
Patten: What the hell is this?!
Monkey: Take cover!!!! THE SWEDISH ARE HERE!!!!!!!
Patten found himself in the middle of a war that he could not get out of. He was trapped in a war between the monkeys and the Swedes, poop against meatballs, bananas against.....meatballs!
In a run-down, battered New Jersey is where That Krazy Dude found himself wandering. He had heard stories of the downfall of this state. He heard that they were targets of the first battle of the Canadian Wars. The Americans had blown up their syrup supply, and they struck back by bombing New Jersey. There were still people who lived there, though. Krazy Dude looked around. When he got tired of walking around, he stopped to lean against a wall and think of what he could possibly do next. He then felt something push up against the side of his leg as he leaned against the wall. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his old laser sword.
He then remembered what had happened before he found himself wandering around New Jersey. He thought back to the final battle with Darth Tang, the tornado, .....the potato chips. He knew at that moment that he had to find his old crew mates. But he first needed to find a way out of New Jersey. It was a large world, but he knew he could do it.
He decided to go inside a strange looking bar and see if there was anyone there who had answers. He walked into the bar and ordered a Richard Nixon with extra cheese and a side of your mom. He noticed that there were a group of three men wearing suits. One was bald and had a mean look about him. The others appeared to be working for him.
Krazy Dude decided to go over and see if he could get any info from them about how to get out of New Jersey. He walked up to them only to be stopped by the henchmen.
Krazy Dude: 'scuse me. Mind if I talk to your boss for a sec?
The boss looked at him like some sort of retard.
Henchman: Listen, no one talks to the godbrother's cousin's roommate's grandpa without going through his family first.
Krazy Dude: I wish I had family. I live alone in a cardboard box outside the Shop Rite, forced to eat dirt to survive. Oh the agony of homelessness! The fear of death! The power of cheese!!!
The henchmen didn't know whether to cry or wonder what the hell Krazy Dude had just said. Not only was he confused, but so was the other henchman. But somehow, the godbrother's cousin's blah blah blah was not affected.
The Boss Dude: It appears that you have some skills at whatever the hell it is you do.
Krazy Dude: Listen, Mr. godbrother's cousin's...
The Boss Dude: Just call me Shiny Stallone.
Krazy Dude: Okay. Now Shiny, I need...
Shiny Stallone: I said Shiny Stallone, not Shiny. You don't disrespect me like that. I'll kill you. I swear it!
Krazy Dude: My bad. Anyway, I need to find a way to get out of New Jersey. I need to search the world to find my friends.
Shiny Stallone: So you come to me on the day of........Anyway I see you want me to help you out. I can help you, but you have to do something for me first.
Krazy Dude: Name it!
Shiny Stallone: I need you to help me take out some people who've been giving me trouble. They're called the Eastside Fruits. Some damn leotard wearing assholes who snap their fingers and dance around to West Side Story music.
Krazy Dude: Wow, no wonder they're called the fruits. Who's their leader?
Shiny Stallone:......Pauley Shore.
To be continued.....(hope you didn't fall asleep reading my long post lol)
Author: Scruffy
Narrator: Back on the ship...
Scruffy: So where to next, Mr. T?
Mr. T: You asking me fool, you have the fool fool map!
Scruffy: Okay then, well let's see um, go down, make a left, turn right, go up and make a loop-de-loop, go straight, then we should see a giant red dot that says Arlington.
Narrator: Mr. T follows the directions.
Mr. T: I ain't see no giant red fool dot fool!
Scruffy: Then you made a wrong turn!!!
Mr. T: Let T see the map fool!!!
Scruffy: Here!!!!
Mr. T: Fool, first off, you had the map upside down fool! Second fool fool mistake you made was that that's the location of a city fool!
Scruffy: Well, if you would have let me sleep, I could have realized it ya giant ape!!!!
Mr. T: T taking this as a decleration of war!!!!
Scruffy: Bring it, bitch!!!!
Narrator: Mr. T and Scruffy duke it out till they are at gunpoint towards eachother.
Scruffy: (pointing shotgun at T's head) Uh?? Mr. T, if you're here fighting me, who's at the helm???
Mr. T: (pointing BFG 9000 at Scruffy's head) Dunno fool, that's a fool good question, gotta ask my gold!
Narrator: Both look at helm to see nobody there.
Scruffy: Ah ck!!!!
Narrator: Both look towards gigantic iceberg ahead of them, and the Titanic theme music starts playing.
Scruffy: This looks oddly familiar??..um?..SHAMUS!!!!!
Narrator: Mr. T and Scruffy all of a sudden on the ship's bow, with Scruffy in the back in plain clothes holding Mr. T who's in a dress in front of him.
Mr. T: WTF FOOL!!!!
Scruffy: This is just wrong!!!!
Narrator: Nemo starts climbing up the bow.
Nemo: Hey guys, sup! Long time no see!!!!!!
Narrator: Scruffy and T look at eachother.
Scruffy: Eh, what the hell?
Narrator: Scruffy shoots 8 shotgun shells while Mr. T fires BFG shot at Nemo.
Mr. T: That felt good!
Narrator: The ship smashes against Iceberg, giving the ship a huge hole in which its starts blinking red.
Scruffy: What the hell, what are all these lights, what's with the noises, WHAT DO THEY MEAN!?!?!?
Narrator: Mr. T puts on his glasses.
Mr. T: Hold up fool, got be some answers in this book!
Narrator: He is reading Mechanic For Dummies
Mr. T: It means we all gonna die, fool!
Scruffy and Mr. T: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: The ship goes down, taking everybody, including a respawned Nemo down at the bow.
Narrator: Meanwhile on a charted island? Well, not really!
Stampede: (waking up) Were am I, what happened?
Figure: A human!?!?!
Figure 2: Impossible, we haven't seen their kind in over 1000 years!
Stampede: Whoa, you're the Arbiter!!!
Arbiter: Yes, quickly, we must go to Holy Paradise!
Stampede: Well, you know what time it is? You know, the date and crap.
Elite: It's the year 30K.
Stampede: Oh, okay????? Wait WHAT?!?!
Arbiter: What's wrong?
Stampede: I'm a who-knows-how-many-years ahead of my time!!!!
Arbiter: So, you can go back using the teleportation device
Stampede: We've harnessed the power of teleportation?
Elite: About 200, 000 years ago.
Arbiter: You did come through the teleportation device, right?
Stampede: Dunno.
Nemo: Hey guys!!!!!
Narrator: Stampede snipes Nemo from 10 yards away
Arbiter: You killed him!!! ! Stampede: So, he'll be back?..Sadly.
Elite: Come Arbiter and stranger, we have approached the gates!
Narrator: Stampede watches in amazement as the huge gates open and steps on the teleportation device
Narrator: Meanwhile, Scruffy and Mr. T have just woken up in the jungle.
Scruffy: (waking up) What the hell was that?
Mr. T: Dunno fool, but drink milk! It will make you forever young and strong like T!
Scruffy: Yeah yeah, where are we?
Master Chief: And I'm the only survivor, how ironic??..And I so totally did not pee my pants (walks away) *squish* *squish* *squish* *squish*
Scruffy: What??. Nevermind, let's find shelter.
Narrator: Suddenly a figure appears and attacks.
Scruffy: Crap, let's go T!
Narrator: A FFVII battle sequence starts and boss music plays.
Scruffy: You know this "Time" meter thing is a bitch in da ass!
Mr. T: T agree with you, and I look like that Barret fool!
Narrator: Scruffy uses flamethrower.
Narrator: Figure suffers 0 damage.
Scruffy: What !?!?!
Mr. T: Let me try, fool!
Narrator: Mr. T uses BFG 9000
Narrator: Figure suffers 0 damage
Mr. T: T's ambition going down...
Narrator: Figure uses Javelin Spear.
Narrator: Mr. T takes 632 damage
Mr. T: Me ain't feeling good, fool!
Scruffy: Hold up!
Narrator: Scruffy uses Milk.
Narrator: Figure uses Massive Carnage.
Narrator: Scruffy and Mr. T suffer 1000 damage.
Scruffy: That's it!!!
Narrator: Scruffy uses Overlimit: Suffocating Fire.
Narrator: Figure dodges.
Scruffy: Gay to the fullest.
Narrator: Figure uses Tick Tock You're Dead.
Narrator: Scruffy and Mr. T faint.
Narrator: The stranger levitates both of them and starts taking them somewhere?? Come on guys "somewhere"? Can't you get a better place, a location (M16 shots heard)
Producer: We lose more Narrators that way.
Narrator: Meanwhile at Holy Paradise...
Stampede: So, yeah, that's basically it, we killed Bob Saget, tornado whips up, next thing I know, I'm here!
Elite: Interesting, so you have no idea where your crew is?
Stampede: Nope, I'm lost, the rest of the crew is somewhere, well, Captain Scruffy will guide them through it all?..What am I saying they're better off without his navigation skills.
Arbiter: What did you say your Captain's name was?
Stampede: Cap'n Scruffy, Monkeyman Scruffy.
Arbiter: I know him, good friend of mine. Here, his B-day present, an everlasting Energy Sword he always wanted. Tell I said hi and take care.
Stampede: Sure, but how do I get back?
Arbiter: Follow me!
Narrator: Stampede follows the Arbiter into a badly lit room.
Arbiter: This is the last teleporter that will take you somewhere around your time, stole it from that Doom 3 game a while back.
Stampede: Thanks, but I have no weapons.
Arbiter: We can help you there. Bring out all the weapons cache!
Elite: They will be teleported with you.
Stampede: Cool, and thanks again!
Narrator: A Grunt activates the teleporter and a few things pass through Stampede and then Stampede and the weapons are sent through a tunnel of blood and growls and screams can be heard in the background.
Stampede: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Back at Holy Paradise...
Arbiter: So, did anybody play Doom 3?
Elite: No, Arbiter.
Elite 2: Nope.
Grunt: I did!
Arbiter: You know where he's going?
Grunt: Sure do, Hell!
Arbiter: Shit.
Narrator: Back at the island place??. Please, don't shoot me.
Scruffy: (waking up again) Ow, head hurts!
Mr. T: (also waking up) Where we at, fool?
Scruffy: Dunno.
Narrator: Both see a large fat man floating in the air
Scruffy: AHHHHHH!!!! THE BUDDHA!!!!
Figure: No it isn't. It's me, Drew Carey.
Mr. T: Cool fool!
Drew: That's right, and Scruffy, I know what happened, and I'm here to help you harness your power of fire. As for you Mr. T, I'm gonna upgrade your BFG's and teach you the fine art of dual wielding them dangerously. Seriously, that battle was pathetic!
Scruffy: Hey, that hurt my inner dude!
Mr. T: Got milk, fool?
Drew: Here. (teleports fridge filled with milk)
Mr. T: Hey Scruffy fool, we don't need that fool fool chef! Hey can teleport us gold-proof food, fool harty good?? Don't touch the gold!
Scruffy: Hmmm?..Got food?
Drew: (teleports whole Thanksgiving dinner) Eat up, your training will be vigorous.
Narrator: Following up with Stampede, he is in a hot, fiery place with lava and screams can be heard.
Stampede: WHERE THE HELL AM I?!?!?
Voice: IN HELL, MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Stampede: I really didn't mean it, you know just a saying, like, WHO THE FUCK ARE U, HELP!!!!!!!
Narrator: A Hellknight is teleported in front of him.
Stampede: Crap, dunno what it is (picks up Chaingun) but it's gonna eat lead!
Credits and music
Author: Lupine
Hahahahahaha the story finally lives!!!!!!!!
::Lupine wakes up::
Lupine: Where the hell am I???? ::looks outward to see the ocean surrounding him on every side and not one bit of land in sight, then looks to the wide forest and notices huge monsterous figures lurking in the forest and not one bit of food outside the forest:: Well, at least I still have my swords and summon magic to help me.
Lupine: :: looks back to the site where he landed to notice shards of steel rusted and turned into dust, then looks out into the ocean and falls on knees ripping his shirt:: Why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why have you forsaken me, God? I'm your brother's best friend!
::Meanwhile in Heaven::
Jebus: Ahhhh, that was a nice nap. My usual 1000 year naps over. Now to find the guys, but first time to collect that 10 dollars my no good brother owes me.
::Back at the island, Lupine is still screaming and the sound shakes a coconut loose from a tree and hits Lupine on the head. Lupine looks at the coconut::
Lupine: Okay, I'm not going to turn into one of those crazy guys who talk to inanimate things because of loneliness.
::One week later::
Lupine: Hahahaha Smith! I got a good haul this time.
::Coconut lays silent::
Lupine: I know I know a great haul. Red rocks, blue rocks, green rocks and this bark. Tonight we feast like kings!!!!
::smith lays silent::
Lupine: Know what I like about you, Smith? You're quiet, you listen. ::sigh:: Those old friends of mine never listened. ::sigh:: I miss them.
::Water starts to come out of Smith's eye::
Luine: No no no, don't get me wrong Smith, you're a great guy. I just, you know, miss them. Great people and a pleasure to cook for. Hey Smith, have I ever told you about the time we took down Bob Saget?
::Smith is still::
Lupine: Right, I did last night. Hmmm, my summon magic had almost no effect on him. Now my swords are gone, all I have left is my kicks. If only I payed more attention in Final Fantasy, I might have learned the elemental magics since that seemed to hurt him. I swear when I get off this island I will train my body and mind to be able to use elemental magics. And buy swords cause they are cool.
::Shadow exits forest::
Shadow: Why wait till then? I can teach you and equip you.
Lupine: You!!!!!
::Smith is shocked::
::Meanwhile back in Heaven::
Jebus: Finally my brother's house. Hmm, maybe he'll let me crash for awhile. ::knocks on the door::
God: Who is it?
Jebus: It's me!
God: Jebus??????
::door opens to reveal....... Carrot Top!!!!::
Author: GORE-ILLA
*Mini-Myself runs through an African jungle until he's caught in a mousetrap.*
*Siren is stuck in a large city and is having trouble getting into clothing stores with a torn shirt when she falls through a trapped door.*
*Patten McGroin wanders a Siberian wasteland, and is peppered with tranquilizer darts until he collapses.*
Que Pasa: Hey, I vaguely remember that guy! He's one of my mateys I think!
ADD: You're friends with the Buddha?! Awesome!
*Que Pasa and ADD start through the crowd towards Salama, but a rip in the time-space continuum opens up and sucks up Que Pasa before closing.*
ADD: What the hell?
*Que Pasa awakens on the couch in the room of some metal ship. He finds himself facing... Monkeyman Scruffy?*
Scruffy?: Hey, what are you doing lounging around here you idiot?
Que Pasa: CAP'N!
Scruffy?: (looks around) Where?
Que Pasa: What happened? Where did you get that cool scar?
Scruffy?: Shut up, I told you all never to bring up the scar! Now right this way Nan Deska!
Que Pasa: You mean Que Pasa. First Mate Que Pasa.
Scruffy?: Keep dreaming. You know how the captain doesn't have any first mate, and your name is Nan Deska!
Que Pasa: Really? That's not what I wrote on my hands. (holds out his hands, where he's written down reminders of all his personal info)
Scruffy?: Let me see that. ...These are all wrong. First of all you refer to me as "Monkeyman Scruffy" but my name is Apeperson Ruffy. Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada? We're navy officers on the Goldendon Cheesecake, we hunt pirates. So many mistakes here... and it says here we live on some place called Earth, but you know this is... BIZARRO EARTH!!!
Que Pasa: Really? Well if someone said it, it must be true...
???: Janitors! Get over here!
Ruffy: That's us, Nan Deska. Hurry up.
Que Pasa: Who's calling us?
Ruffy: Don't act stupid. It's the Cap'n.
*Ruffy and Que Pasa rush out onto the deck past Mega-Yourself, the Overdressed Nun and Jesus until they find the captain.*
???: There you are, you insignificant gnats! How dare you hold up I- the great, the mighty... CAPTAIN EXTREMELY SANE GUY!
Ruffy: Sorry sir, Nan Deska's got unusually foggy memory today-
Que Pasa: Hey, aren't you the depressed guy?
Sane Guy: Depressed? I couldn't be happier about myself! Are you a highly-paid navy captain?
Que Pasa: I guess not.
Sane Guy: See, unlike me, you'll never amount to anything. You lowly janitor. You'll never make the cover of Vogue, and you'll live a sad and lonely life while I live the greatet life of luxury ever.
Que Pasa: (cries)
Sane Guy: And did you notice that I have a head?
Que Pasa: Huh? His statement is so logical... why would he say that? I can't help but wonder... I can't concenrtate on trying to attack him. Why would he say something so obvious?
Ruffy: That's enough messing with Nan Deska's head, Cap'n! What'd you want us for?
Sane Guy: Simply to torment your pititiful souls! Hahaha! (flies away)
*Secretly watching this scene from afar through a pair of binoculars is none other than... the real Nan Deska! He looks identical to Que Pasa with a monocle, sinister mustache and goatee. He twirls his mustache as he speaks.*
Nan Deska: Yes, my plans are coming to fruitition! Soon the world will belong to the great NAN DESKA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
*Elsewhere, in the Not-Bizzarro dimension, Pink Ninja and eLfa are in some strange lava planet.*
Pink Ninja: Damn it's cold here. We should, uh, huddle together for warmth or something.
eLfa: Cold? We're on a LAVA planet.
Pink Ninja: Dammit.
*Suddenly Pink Ninja's caravan of llama-riding grunts arrive.*
Pink Ninja: So? Did you find anything?
Grunt: Sorry, sir. No food or anything. We'll have to eat the llamas.
Micheal Jackson: Don't worry little men, I'll cheer you up.
Pink Ninja: I knew Jackson would be the first to crack.
eLfa: Whatever. I'm gonna go change. (to the grunts) And make sure he doesn't go invisible this time!
Grunts: (salute) Aye aye, ma'am!
Pink Ninja: Mutiny, that's what this is.
*Siren, Patten and Mini-Myself wake up in a large lab.*
Loudspeaker Voice: Welcome friends to my laboratory. It's about time you woke up from your naps.
*A mechanical Gorenicus walks into the room.*
Gorenicus: Since you're all divided, I thought it would be easy to capture you all individually to make you my slaves. But unfortunately you're the only three I've captured. I'll just have to work you extra hard a- (his arm falls off) Dammit, where's that maitenance lady?
French Woman: Wui.
*A French woman in a poofy dress walks in to reattach Gorenicus's arm before walking away.*
Gorenicus: Now where was I? Ah yes. Welcome to the Gorenicus Pirates, SLAVES!
*Oh yeah, and Nemo gets hit by a truck or something.*
No Name
…………. Meanwhile, No Name awoke from an his eternal eerie slumber only to find himself in a small child's treehouse. Right then and there he can sense another presence in the room, the empty void of the tree house was filled with a plaster of being. He turns around to look but sees no one. When he turns he head back he sighs out of relief and releases all the paranoia from the jar of his mind. Only then was he caught off guard by a small 3 foot creature wearing shabby torn up robes.
No Name: Who are you?
Mario: It's-a me, Mario!
????: Mmm, confused and lost are you?
No Name: No not really, Captain Obvious.
????: Answers you seek yeah?
No Name: Yeah…. * looks down with a sad look, depressed that he is no longer with his beloved crew that he held at the highest standards*
????: Into the future you have fell, UMMMm
No Name: What!?!?! NO way my friends, Zanarkand, * Final Fantasy X Joke* , did they make it? Did they survive?!?! * No Name became flushed with a dark red due to his worry*
????: The least of your concerns this is, young padawan. I have sensed your presence for a while only yet have I discovered you.
*No Name, still in shock from the truth, is barely capable of comprehending the magnitude of what the mysterious figure was saying and would say.*
No Name: The Force…it's…it's very strong with you…can you be the great Jedi master Yoda?
Just then, the words were engraved into the mind of No Name.
No Name: YODA!!!
???: Incorrect ….Yodduh I am. Twin brothers are we.
No Name: Master Yodduh, I am ready for you to teach me…I’ll do anything.
Puff Daddy: You gotta go to Brooklyn and get me a cheesecake
Dylan: Puff got us going to Brooklyn for a cheeeeese cake, there are only five great rappers in this band and they are Dylan, Dylan, Dylan……..Dylan and Dylan
No Name: What kinda training is this?!?!?!
Yodduh: Too much anger in him, like his father!
Obi Wan: But you must train him. I was just like him at his age.
No Name: Whatever old geezer and Yodduh, I’m gonna go get that cheesecake.
*9 hours later...*
No Name: Gosh Yodduh, was that really necessary? I mean come on, really?
Yodduh: In the mood for a pastry I was .., ….mmmmm yummy yummy!
No Name: Can I get a piece… I mean I did walk all that...
Yodduh: NO!!! You will eat when I tell you to, sleep when I tell you to, blah blah blah understood?
No Name: Alright!
*That night No Name slept on the roof contemplating the fate of his friends. Just then it began to rain. All he could hear was the patter of the rain walking across the roof of the little tree house. He decided to just wash away his pain and sorrow with the rain. The morning has come. The sun's light has broken through the night's veil, and a new day has begun*
No Name: They say it’s a new day…..it feels the same to me……but I'll change that……I’ll find my friends and train hard to become a great Jedi Knight!!!!!!!!!!
Yodduh: Good…Good you have the determination…….but let go of your emotions you must!
No Name: Right, let's do this!
*Rocky music plays in the background. Yodduh makes No Name run the entire city twice. A hundred pushups on one hand on one finger. He does upside down pushups and levitates objects in the air with the force. The training is extremely tough and Dragonball Z-like. He lifts Yodduh's couch…..
No Name: I’ve done it! I’ve moved the couch!
Yodduh: Good now I can get the control to turn the tv on.
No Name: But you can use the Force to turn the tv on!
Yodduh: Who is the Jedi Master here, me or You!!!!!!!!!!
No Name: Sorry.
*The days went by little by little as if No Name had been flipping the pages through a calendar. After sweating, bleeding, crying he was finally ready. He has mastered his emotions, master the force, mastered the laser sword, but he cannot master the future…*
No Name: Thank you master Yodduh for your training.
Yodduh: Ummm welcome you are!
No Name: I am ready to embark on my new journey…….* walks out the door, stops and pauses for a second*…..How do I leave this planet.
Yodduh: Know I do not for I am a hermit who keeps to himself!
No Name: Thanks a lot……..
*No Name walks out the door and begins walking in a random direction and has no plan whatsoever as to where he should search for his teammates. Just then he heard a voice in his head*
King Kai: Goku is this you?
No Name: No sorry, wrong mind.
King Kai: Damn it!
Yodduh: Mmmm careful you must be Jedi, for the future is not a stable one!
No Name: Alright, man I am going crazy! Jebus, am I going crazy?
Jebus: No, not really.
No Name: Jebus it's YOU!!!!!!
Jebus………..*Sucks teeth* Yeah…….sorry but you ….I can't…..I’m not really supposed to be here. It will mess up the story, but it's mandatory for me to answer your prayers and questions.
No Name: But I don’t believe in religion.
*Jebus raises arm and strikes down No Name with a thunder bolt*
Jebus : Let's see how much you belive in now.
No Name: Bastard, you're lucky I dont want to use Force Lightening.... needle dick.
Jebus: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!
No Name: Huh? Nothing....Nothing at all. I gotta get outta here and go look for my friends.....
| Chapters in The Golden Cheesecake Pirate Armada Sequel |
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